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that's a bit sexist
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just been for the quarterlys down the gum, went with t.g.n d and they asked her, and made a point of telling her that they ask EVERYONE this question, did she feel safe in her relationship?
Did they ask me? Did they f**K....why not?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Just been for the quarterlys down the gum, went with t.g.n d and they asked her, and made a point of telling her that they ask EVERYONE this question, did she feel safe in her relationship?
Did they ask me? Did they f**K....why not?
"
Well she does get quite scary. So I've heard.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's probably to try to pinpoint abused and trafficked women. To be honest I'd rather they were a bit sexist if it means that women in abusive situations have a chancefof escape.
Him"
Extending the question to men causes no harm to women though. |
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"
Just been for the quarterlys down the gum, went with t.g.n d and they asked her, and made a point of telling her that they ask EVERYONE this question, did she feel safe in her relationship?
Did they ask me? Did they f**K....why not?
"
did you ask them why they chose not to ask you? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
Just been for the quarterlys down the gum, went with t.g.n d and they asked her, and made a point of telling her that they ask EVERYONE this question, did she feel safe in her relationship?
Did they ask me? Did they f**K....why not?
did you ask them why they chose not to ask you?"
We'd left by the time I found out...we were seen separately, I'm back next week for my second hep jab so might ask then.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They asked me to ask you later when you whined about it.
Is it safe? Is it safe? *dental drill* is it safe? "
Poor Dustin Hoffman... one of the scariest scenes in movie history! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's probably to try to pinpoint abused and trafficked women. To be honest I'd rather they were a bit sexist if it means that women in abusive situations have a chancefof escape.
Him
Extending the question to men causes no harm to women though. "
That's what I thought...I get why they asked, but why not extend it to men? Simple enough and no harm in asking surely? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's probably to try to pinpoint abused and trafficked women. To be honest I'd rather they were a bit sexist if it means that women in abusive situations have a chancefof escape.
Him
Extending the question to men causes no harm to women though.
That's what I thought...I get why they asked, but why not extend it to men? Simple enough and no harm in asking surely? "
It's crap. Gender stereotypes harm everyone. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Stereotyping abusers as male, needs to stop. Iv suffered domestic violence, but know more guys who have. "
Yeah, seems a bit of a squint view...
I've no idea on facts and figures but surely men are subject to feeling unsafe at home because of partners?
Some anyhow.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Just been for the quarterlys down the gum, went with t.g.n d and they asked her, and made a point of telling her that they ask EVERYONE this question, did she feel safe in her relationship?
Did they ask me? Did they f**K....why not?
"
Sexism is really about being oppressed due to your gender. It's quite hard to be sexist to men.
Statistically you are more likely to be harmful relationships if you are a woman (or gay, or trans), so they follow the statistics.
I would be pro them asking everyone the same thing, to make more men aware that many people *are* in harmful relationships. However it may well also let on that they are asking women that question, and could potentially make an abusive partner stop their partner from going to the clinic. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
Just been for the quarterlys down the gum, went with t.g.n d and they asked her, and made a point of telling her that they ask EVERYONE this question, did she feel safe in her relationship?
Did they ask me? Did they f**K....why not?
Sexism is really about being oppressed due to your gender. It's quite hard to be sexist to men.
Statistically you are more likely to be harmful relationships if you are a woman (or gay, or trans), so they follow the statistics.
I would be pro them asking everyone the same thing, to make more men aware that many people *are* in harmful relationships. However it may well also let on that they are asking women that question, and could potentially make an abusive partner stop their partner from going to the clinic."
I see your line of logic in there...
But it follows the same could be said of the other way round too....so if it's done that way around because statistically it would help more people, that makes the guys 'collateral damage' I guess?
If that makes any sense? I half lost myself there.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Just been for the quarterlys down the gum, went with t.g.n d and they asked her, and made a point of telling her that they ask EVERYONE this question, did she feel safe in her relationship?
Did they ask me? Did they f**K....why not?
Sexism is really about being oppressed due to your gender. It's quite hard to be sexist to men.
Statistically you are more likely to be harmful relationships if you are a woman (or gay, or trans), so they follow the statistics.
I would be pro them asking everyone the same thing, to make more men aware that many people *are* in harmful relationships. However it may well also let on that they are asking women that question, and could potentially make an abusive partner stop their partner from going to the clinic.
I see your line of logic in there...
But it follows the same could be said of the other way round too....so if it's done that way around because statistically it would help more people, that makes the guys 'collateral damage' I guess?
If that makes any sense? I half lost myself there...."
I would imagine that there are unpleasant statistical decisions to be made.
In the same vein of how the NHS won't pay for the most expensive drugs, because it would prevent many more people having access to cheaper treatments.
I don't envy those that have to make those kind of decisions. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Just been for the quarterlys down the gum, went with t.g.n d and they asked her, and made a point of telling her that they ask EVERYONE this question, did she feel safe in her relationship?
Did they ask me? Did they f**K....why not?
Sexism is really about being oppressed due to your gender. It's quite hard to be sexist to men.
Statistically you are more likely to be harmful relationships if you are a woman (or gay, or trans), so they follow the statistics.
I would be pro them asking everyone the same thing, to make more men aware that many people *are* in harmful relationships. However it may well also let on that they are asking women that question, and could potentially make an abusive partner stop their partner from going to the clinic.
I see your line of logic in there...
But it follows the same could be said of the other way round too....so if it's done that way around because statistically it would help more people, that makes the guys 'collateral damage' I guess?
If that makes any sense? I half lost myself there....
I would imagine that there are unpleasant statistical decisions to be made.
In the same vein of how the NHS won't pay for the most expensive drugs, because it would prevent many more people having access to cheaper treatments.
I don't envy those that have to make those kind of decisions."
I'm just discussing it with a doctor-friend though, and she pointed out that they would ask a man if they suspected there might be a problem. Unusual bruising patterns, difficult behaviour, etc. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
Just been for the quarterlys down the gum, went with t.g.n d and they asked her, and made a point of telling her that they ask EVERYONE this question, did she feel safe in her relationship?
Did they ask me? Did they f**K....why not?
Sexism is really about being oppressed due to your gender. It's quite hard to be sexist to men.
Statistically you are more likely to be harmful relationships if you are a woman (or gay, or trans), so they follow the statistics.
I would be pro them asking everyone the same thing, to make more men aware that many people *are* in harmful relationships. However it may well also let on that they are asking women that question, and could potentially make an abusive partner stop their partner from going to the clinic.
I see your line of logic in there...
But it follows the same could be said of the other way round too....so if it's done that way around because statistically it would help more people, that makes the guys 'collateral damage' I guess?
If that makes any sense? I half lost myself there....
I would imagine that there are unpleasant statistical decisions to be made.
In the same vein of how the NHS won't pay for the most expensive drugs, because it would prevent many more people having access to cheaper treatments.
I don't envy those that have to make those kind of decisions."
No...me neither |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
Just been for the quarterlys down the gum, went with t.g.n d and they asked her, and made a point of telling her that they ask EVERYONE this question, did she feel safe in her relationship?
Did they ask me? Did they f**K....why not?
Sexism is really about being oppressed due to your gender. It's quite hard to be sexist to men.
Statistically you are more likely to be harmful relationships if you are a woman (or gay, or trans), so they follow the statistics.
I would be pro them asking everyone the same thing, to make more men aware that many people *are* in harmful relationships. However it may well also let on that they are asking women that question, and could potentially make an abusive partner stop their partner from going to the clinic.
I see your line of logic in there...
But it follows the same could be said of the other way round too....so if it's done that way around because statistically it would help more people, that makes the guys 'collateral damage' I guess?
If that makes any sense? I half lost myself there....
I would imagine that there are unpleasant statistical decisions to be made.
In the same vein of how the NHS won't pay for the most expensive drugs, because it would prevent many more people having access to cheaper treatments.
I don't envy those that have to make those kind of decisions.
I'm just discussing it with a doctor-friend though, and she pointed out that they would ask a man if they suspected there might be a problem. Unusual bruising patterns, difficult behaviour, etc."
I'd hope that to be true...
Never really thought on this subject much before, but yeah, I'd hope that was policy for anyone at all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm just discussing it with a doctor-friend though, and she pointed out that they would ask a man if they suspected there might be a problem. Unusual bruising patterns, difficult behaviour, etc.
I'd hope that to be true...
Never really thought on this subject much before, but yeah, I'd hope that was policy for anyone at all "
One of my male partners was asked at the gay sexual health clinic he goes to if he felt safe in his relationship. They identified bruising across his bicep and genitals, and asked the question. He replied that he was fine in his relationships, they had a chat, and he explained that the night before he'd been enjoying me beating him with a belt.
All sorted, no problem. |
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"
Just been for the quarterlys down the gum, went with t.g.n d and they asked her, and made a point of telling her that they ask EVERYONE this question, did she feel safe in her relationship?
Did they ask me? Did they f**K....why not?
Sexism is really about being oppressed due to your gender. It's quite hard to be sexist to men.
Statistically you are more likely to be harmful relationships if you are a woman (or gay, or trans), so they follow the statistics.
I would be pro them asking everyone the same thing, to make more men aware that many people *are* in harmful relationships. However it may well also let on that they are asking women that question, and could potentially make an abusive partner stop their partner from going to the clinic."
Try telling that to a good man who is not alowed to see his children. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Just been for the quarterlys down the gum, went with t.g.n d and they asked her, and made a point of telling her that they ask EVERYONE this question, did she feel safe in her relationship?
Did they ask me? Did they f**K....why not?
Sexism is really about being oppressed due to your gender. It's quite hard to be sexist to men.
Statistically you are more likely to be harmful relationships if you are a woman (or gay, or trans), so they follow the statistics.
I would be pro them asking everyone the same thing, to make more men aware that many people *are* in harmful relationships. However it may well also let on that they are asking women that question, and could potentially make an abusive partner stop their partner from going to the clinic.
Try telling that to a good man who is not alowed to see his children. "
*Shrug*
I'm not sure that family courts have much to do with sexual health clinic asking if women feel safe in their relationships.
Sounds like you might have an axe to grind though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Just been for the quarterlys down the gum, went with t.g.n d and they asked her, and made a point of telling her that they ask EVERYONE this question, did she feel safe in her relationship?
Did they ask me? Did they f**K....why not?
Sexism is really about being oppressed due to your gender. It's quite hard to be sexist to men.
Statistically you are more likely to be harmful relationships if you are a woman (or gay, or trans), so they follow the statistics.
I would be pro them asking everyone the same thing, to make more men aware that many people *are* in harmful relationships. However it may well also let on that they are asking women that question, and could potentially make an abusive partner stop their partner from going to the clinic.
Try telling that to a good man who is not alowed to see his children.
*Shrug*
I'm not sure that family courts have much to do with sexual health clinic asking if women feel safe in their relationships.
Sounds like you might have an axe to grind though."
A lot of men have an axe to grind as we are pushed aside put down and oppressed more and more purely because we are not women. But of course nobody will admit that because that would upset the apple cart. Its a womens world all right, equality was reached found wanting and the uneven shift reversed so now men are suffering. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm just discussing it with a doctor-friend though, and she pointed out that they would ask a man if they suspected there might be a problem. Unusual bruising patterns, difficult behaviour, etc.
I'd hope that to be true...
Never really thought on this subject much before, but yeah, I'd hope that was policy for anyone at all
One of my male partners was asked at the gay sexual health clinic he goes to if he felt safe in his relationship. They identified bruising across his bicep and genitals, and asked the question. He replied that he was fine in his relationships, they had a chat, and he explained that the night before he'd been enjoying me beating him with a belt.
All sorted, no problem."
Good to know the guys do have a safety net of types  |
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"
Just been for the quarterlys down the gum, went with t.g.n d and they asked her, and made a point of telling her that they ask EVERYONE this question, did she feel safe in her relationship?
Did they ask me? Did they f**K....why not?
Sexism is really about being oppressed due to your gender. It's quite hard to be sexist to men.
Statistically you are more likely to be harmful relationships if you are a woman (or gay, or trans), so they follow the statistics.
I would be pro them asking everyone the same thing, to make more men aware that many people *are* in harmful relationships. However it may well also let on that they are asking women that question, and could potentially make an abusive partner stop their partner from going to the clinic.
Try telling that to a good man who is not alowed to see his children.
*Shrug*
I'm not sure that family courts have much to do with sexual health clinic asking if women feel safe in their relationships.
Sounds like you might have an axe to grind though.
A lot of men have an axe to grind as we are pushed aside put down and oppressed more and more purely because we are not women. But of course nobody will admit that because that would upset the apple cart. Its a womens world all right, equality was reached found wanting and the uneven shift reversed so now men are suffering. "
couldn't agree more and I'm a woman |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
Just been for the quarterlys down the gum, went with t.g.n d and they asked her, and made a point of telling her that they ask EVERYONE this question, did she feel safe in her relationship?
Did they ask me? Did they f**K....why not?
Sexism is really about being oppressed due to your gender. It's quite hard to be sexist to men.
Statistically you are more likely to be harmful relationships if you are a woman (or gay, or trans), so they follow the statistics.
I would be pro them asking everyone the same thing, to make more men aware that many people *are* in harmful relationships. However it may well also let on that they are asking women that question, and could potentially make an abusive partner stop their partner from going to the clinic.
Try telling that to a good man who is not alowed to see his children.
*Shrug*
I'm not sure that family courts have much to do with sexual health clinic asking if women feel safe in their relationships.
Sounds like you might have an axe to grind though.
A lot of men have an axe to grind as we are pushed aside put down and oppressed more and more purely because we are not women. But of course nobody will admit that because that would upset the apple cart. Its a womens world all right, equality was reached found wanting and the uneven shift reversed so now men are suffering. couldn't agree more and I'm a woman"
Can I just say, this wasn't my point...
As a man, I'm definitely not suffering.
It was just a point I thought interesting  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" A lot of men have an axe to grind as we are pushed aside put down and oppressed more and more purely because we are not women. But of course nobody will admit that because that would upset the apple cart. Its a womens world all right, equality was reached found wanting and the uneven shift reversed so now men are suffering. "
Fair enough.
I don't really find that myself for many reasons, but you're entitled to your views and I'm sure you have very reasoned thoughts to back it up.
This is all very irrelevant to the original post on my thread. But I found it a very strong statement today when we were having a lesson at university today about how we could approach writing about women's art. Our tutor stood up and the first words she said was 'since the start of November I have been working for nothing. Statistically my union tells me that it's women members are paid 18% less than men'. I'd also like to go to a job interview where I'm not asked if I'm intending to take time off to have children. I'd love to not be groped in clubs without being asked. And I'd really love to watch some great movies with interesting female leads who don't depend on men.
But sure, it's a man's world. Because you or a friend didn't get custody of their child. My father got custody of me, because he was the more suitable parent. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"They never asked me but I had a huge questionnaire about my drinking!!! "
Yeah? They asked me but left it there when I told them I don't really drink
Wonder why the song and dance for you? |
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Just been for the quarterlys down the gum, went with t.g.n d and they asked her, and made a point of telling her that they ask EVERYONE this question, did she feel safe in her relationship?
Did they ask me? Did they f**K....why not?
Sexism is really about being oppressed due to your gender. It's quite hard to be sexist to men.
Statistically you are more likely to be harmful relationships if you are a woman (or gay, or trans), so they follow the statistics.
I would be pro them asking everyone the same thing, to make more men aware that many people *are* in harmful relationships. However it may well also let on that they are asking women that question, and could potentially make an abusive partner stop their partner from going to the clinic.
Try telling that to a good man who is not alowed to see his children.
*Shrug*
I'm not sure that family courts have much to do with sexual health clinic asking if women feel safe in their relationships.
Sounds like you might have an axe to grind though."
Fortunately not but watching a really good guy who's not been able to to see his kids for a year. Been arrested by the police many times without charge. And now one of the police involved in his persecution is a kiddy fiddler (and has seen my mates kids plenty of times) in this area sexual discrimination goes the other way entirely unchecked. I have all the time in the world for fathers for justice.
My own experience of gum clinics is that they are run almost entirely by women who are utterly brilliant. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They never asked me but I had a huge questionnaire about my drinking!!!
Yeah? They asked me but left it there when I told them I don't really drink
Wonder why the song and dance for you? "
Probably because I filled it out correctly and on paper it probably looks like a drink a lot, I really don't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's probably to try to pinpoint abused and trafficked women. To be honest I'd rather they were a bit sexist if it means that women in abusive situations have a chancefof escape.
Him"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's probably to try to pinpoint abused and trafficked women. To be honest I'd rather they were a bit sexist if it means that women in abusive situations have a chancefof escape.
Him"
The trafficking of men is on the rise whic surprised me until I thought about it. I would rather they had equal safeguarding to protect all who are vulnerable. |
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