FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Science nerds required
Science nerds required
Jump to: Newest in thread
 | |||
  | |||
"Your logic is flawless. " | |||
| |||
"Ok. So, I'm driving home, and, as you do, I start to try and solve the big questions... you know the ones, world peace, curing cancer.. understanding wimmen, the great imponderables. Soooo.... suddenly it occurred to me, that Brian Cox and his buddies are all talking bollox. I mean, they reckon that there's a thing called gravity, and it keeps us on this spinning ball of rock right? Yuh, but don't things get flung off if you spin something... eh? And, then they get you with "but its cos the world has mass, so it attracts things, so we don't fall off". Yeah, ok smartass, so if I get a hundred tonne ball of rock, and put a mouse on the side, the mass of the rock keeps the mouse there, does it? 'Course not, but fear not, cos I think I got it covered, I reckon that its... wait for it.... Invisible Velcro!!! Everything has Velcro in it, that's why everything sticks together.... oi, stop laughing, its just as believable as "gravity" !!! "As long as you're joking you won't mind me reminding others that gravitational force is proportional to the masses involved and I'm not refering to catholics | |||
| |||
"You do realise that the earth has significantly more mass than your big ball? That said, I believe most physicists think that the theory of gravity is either wrong or incomplete as it appears so much weaker than the other forces." Woo hoo.... I'm a genius! So, just in case Brian Cox et al are reading this, my considered message to you is... Ner ner neh-ner ner!!!(Damn, there's no poking tongue out smilie) | |||
"You do realise that the earth has significantly more mass than your big ball? That said, I believe most physicists think that the theory of gravity is either wrong or incomplete as it appears so much weaker than the other forces. Woo hoo.... I'm a genius! So, just in case Brian Cox et al are reading this, my considered message to you is... Ner ner neh-ner ner!!!(Damn, there's no poking tongue out smilie)"  | |||
| |||
| |||
"Ok. So, I'm driving home, and, as you do, I start to try and solve the big questions... you know the ones, world peace, curing cancer.. understanding wimmen, the great imponderables. Soooo.... suddenly it occurred to me, that Brian Cox and his buddies are all talking bollox. I mean, they reckon that there's a thing called gravity, and it keeps us on this spinning ball of rock right? Yuh, but don't things get flung off if you spin something... eh? And, then they get you with "but its cos the world has mass, so it attracts things, so we don't fall off". Yeah, ok smartass, so if I get a hundred tonne ball of rock, and put a mouse on the side, the mass of the rock keeps the mouse there, does it? 'Course not, but fear not, cos I think I got it covered, I reckon that its... wait for it.... Invisible Velcro!!! Everything has Velcro in it, that's why everything sticks together.... oi, stop laughing, its just as believable as "gravity" !!! "Yes if something is spinning an object that has no other forces acting upon it will be thrown outwards. This is known as centrifugal force, but should never be confused with being tossed off on a merry go round. | |||
| |||
| |||
"It's also worth baring in mind that cheese and onion crisps contain neither onion or cheese. With this in mind, perhaps instead of calling them a packet of cheese and onion crisps, we should call them packs of lies? Now straying off the path I may be. But it's a valid point I'm sure you'll agree. " I read the bak of the packet.. | |||
"Ok. So, I'm driving home, and, as you do, I start to try and solve the big questions... you know the ones, world peace, curing cancer.. understanding wimmen, the great imponderables. Soooo.... suddenly it occurred to me, that Brian Cox and his buddies are all talking bollox. I mean, they reckon that there's a thing called gravity, and it keeps us on this spinning ball of rock right? Yuh, but don't things get flung off if you spin something... eh? And, then they get you with "but its cos the world has mass, so it attracts things, so we don't fall off". Yeah, ok smartass, so if I get a hundred tonne ball of rock, and put a mouse on the side, the mass of the rock keeps the mouse there, does it? 'Course not, but fear not, cos I think I got it covered, I reckon that its... wait for it.... Invisible Velcro!!! Everything has Velcro in it, that's why everything sticks together.... oi, stop laughing, its just as believable as "gravity" !!!
Yes if something is spinning an object that has no other forces acting upon it will be thrown outwards. This is known as centrifugal force, but should never be confused with being tossed off on a merry go round."I dunno..but as i love science, from the quantum to the macroscopic..I always understood the mass is more imprtant than the spin..i dont think a atomic cohesion needs much spin...but gravity is the weak force that relies on mass, so even the smallest examples like an atom, will have almost the same effect relatively as a planet or star in a relative manner. isnt everything really just fractally based when it comes to physical bodies? | |||
 | |||
"Yuh, but don't things get flung off if you spin something... eh? " Really? Stick a couple of glasses on a tray and spin it on your finger. You will discover the effects of the conservation of angular momentum. | |||
| |||
| |||
"So why does an apple fall from a tree? Invisible Velcro can't explain that. " Aha, that's easy, the Velcro just forgets what its doing and lets go.... and the apple falls... erm....hmmmm I see a flaw in my logic.   | |||
"So why does an apple fall from a tree? Invisible Velcro can't explain that. " It's being pushed towards the earth not attracted by it. | |||
"If you've arrived at velcro, you've used fuzzy logic. " Ba-doom TISH! | |||
 | |||
"slightly off topic but in the same vein as in asking the sciencey geeks lol. why do nuts and bolts only vibrate loose??? They never tighten with vibration if left slightly loose!!!" That's easy............it's because of the rotation of the Earth. In Australia they tighten when vibrated. | |||
"So why does an apple fall from a tree? Invisible Velcro can't explain that. " String theory explains that. Every apple has an invisible quantum string hanging down from it attached to a mole underground. As the mole moves away from the tree to hunt worms it pulls the apple down. Meerkats are responsible for causing things to fly off the surface of the earth. They bob up from underneath, break the velcro and head them into the air. It's obvious really when you think about it. | |||
"So why does an apple fall from a tree? Invisible Velcro can't explain that. It's being pushed towards the earth not attracted by it." By the invisible pushing gremlins that make objects fall. | |||
"So why does an apple fall from a tree? Invisible Velcro can't explain that. It's being pushed towards the earth not attracted by it. By the invisible pushing gremlins that make objects fall." Pah to gremlins. They're what happens when Hollywood tries to sensationalise science. | |||
| |||
"Gravity is a myth the earth sucks." And has volcanoes, so it spits  | |||
| |||
"Ok. So, I'm driving home, and, as you do, I start to try and solve the big questions... you know the ones, world peace, curing cancer.. understanding wimmen, the great imponderables. Soooo.... suddenly it occurred to me, that Brian Cox and his buddies are all talking bollox. I mean, they reckon that there's a thing called gravity, and it keeps us on this spinning ball of rock right? Yuh, but don't things get flung off if you spin something... eh? And, then they get you with "but its cos the world has mass, so it attracts things, so we don't fall off". Yeah, ok smartass, so if I get a hundred tonne ball of rock, and put a mouse on the side, the mass of the rock keeps the mouse there, does it? 'Course not, but fear not, cos I think I got it covered, I reckon that its... wait for it.... Invisible Velcro!!! Everything has Velcro in it, that's why everything sticks together.... oi, stop laughing, its just as believable as "gravity" !!!
Yes if something is spinning an object that has no other forces acting upon it will be thrown outwards. This is known as centrifugal force, but should never be confused with being tossed off on a merry go round.
I dunno..but as i love science, from the quantum to the macroscopic..I always understood the mass is more imprtant than the spin..i dont think a atomic cohesion needs much spin...but gravity is the weak force that relies on mass, so even the smallest examples like an atom, will have almost the same effect relatively as a planet or star in a relative manner.
isnt everything really just fractally based when it comes to physical bodies?"The mass is irrelevant. if no force is being exerted upon that object, it will remain at rest. Now write out "I must not play fast and loose with Newton's laws of motion and attempt to muddy the waters with the shifty stick of Quantum physics" 100 times. | |||
"slightly off topic but in the same vein as in asking the sciencey geeks lol. why do nuts and bolts only vibrate loose??? They never tighten with vibration if left slightly loose!!! That's easy............it's because of the rotation of the Earth. In Australia they tighten when vibrated. "If that was correct, left hand thread screws would tighten, but they loosen as well | |||
| |||
"Ok. So, I'm driving home, and, as you do, I start to try and solve the big questions... you know the ones, world peace, curing cancer.. understanding wimmen, the great imponderables. Soooo.... suddenly it occurred to me, that Brian Cox and his buddies are all talking bollox. I mean, they reckon that there's a thing called gravity, and it keeps us on this spinning ball of rock right? Yuh, but don't things get flung off if you spin something... eh? And, then they get you with "but its cos the world has mass, so it attracts things, so we don't fall off". Yeah, ok smartass, so if I get a hundred tonne ball of rock, and put a mouse on the side, the mass of the rock keeps the mouse there, does it? 'Course not, but fear not, cos I think I got it covered, I reckon that its... wait for it.... Invisible Velcro!!! Everything has Velcro in it, that's why everything sticks together.... oi, stop laughing, its just as believable as "gravity" !!! "I'm judging you right here, right now... | |||
"You do realise that the earth has significantly more mass than your big ball? That said, I believe most physicists think that the theory of gravity is either wrong or incomplete as it appears so much weaker than the other forces." which forces? There's lots of theories of gravity though, lots work but with varying degrees of accuracy and complexity. But to say it's because wits "weaker than other forces" is bollocks. | |||
| |||
"We need more Velcro attached between earth and the moon, as it's slipping away from us. Or should we bring more of the moon back down, so our even larger mass - at that point - would have a stronger pull on a smaller moon? Or would a higher mass earth affect its orbit with the sun - I know the answer must be yes, but it would be interesting to calculate how we may alter things." That might be mixing up the old fashioned Newtonian ideas with more modern velcro theory. It would be the surface area of the velcro that was important, not the mass. Think of those wall things that you can throw yourself at in a velcro suit. If not enough velcro sticks you fall off. The same applies to the orbit of the earth around the sun. Its orbit takes longer than, say venus, because it has to rub along a lot more velcro in space to get round the sun. More friction makes it go slower. Oh and the friction explains global warming too | |||
| |||
AND I'm going to get some Velcro fitted to both my bollocks, to stop them banging together like a Newton's Cradle when I'm running up the pub to catch last orders | |||
"I'm in agreement on the Velcro. And it explains just SOOOO many other things too...the mysteries of the Universe are mysteries no longer...! Now if someone could only figure out who put the ram in the ramalamadingdong, we could retire Brian Cox and Stephen Hawkin "'Twas the same bloke who put the bop in bopshoowopdowop | |||
"Why don't clouds float out into space. Velcro won't stick to clouds." OK OK it's not perfect. There's room in this theory for invisible pushing gremlins to push the clouds back down too if that keeps you onside  Otherwise I'll have to have goretex containers included to wrap the clouds in and the whole theory is going to turn into a huge anorak. | |||
) | |||
"Ok. So, I'm driving home, and, as you do, I start to try and solve the big questions... you know the ones, world peace, curing cancer.. understanding wimmen, the great imponderables. Soooo.... suddenly it occurred to me, that Brian Cox and his buddies are all talking bollox. I mean, they reckon that there's a thing called gravity, and it keeps us on this spinning ball of rock right? Yuh, but don't things get flung off if you spin something... eh? And, then they get you with "but its cos the world has mass, so it attracts things, so we don't fall off". Yeah, ok smartass, so if I get a hundred tonne ball of rock, and put a mouse on the side, the mass of the rock keeps the mouse there, does it? 'Course not, but fear not, cos I think I got it covered, I reckon that its... wait for it.... Invisible Velcro!!! Everything has Velcro in it, that's why everything sticks together.... oi, stop laughing, its just as believable as "gravity" !!!
I'm judging you right here, right now... "Erm, well... alrighty then... I do hope me frapping one out over your photos wont influence the outcome of that at all? | |||
| |||
"My car keys and phone keep floating around the house...I'm now going to stick them down with Velcro so I'll always know they'll be where (I think) I left them
AND I'm going to get some Velcro fitted to both my bollocks, to stop them banging together like a Newton's Cradle when I'm running up the pub to catch last orders "They already do that on the space station because the earth's velcro runs out up there. That's velcro their phones and keys down, not their bollocks together. | |||
"My car keys and phone keep floating around the house...I'm now going to stick them down with Velcro so I'll always know they'll be where (I think) I left them
AND I'm going to get some Velcro fitted to both my bollocks, to stop them banging together like a Newton's Cradle when I'm running up the pub to catch last orders
They already do that on the space station because the earth's velcro runs out up there. That's velcro their phones and keys down, not their bollocks together. "Do phones work in space? And wtf do they have keys for? | |||
| |||
"You do realise that the earth has significantly more mass than your big ball? That said, I believe most physicists think that the theory of gravity is either wrong or incomplete as it appears so much weaker than the other forces. Woo hoo.... I'm a genius! So, just in case Brian Cox et al are reading this, my considered message to you is... Ner ner neh-ner ner!!!(Damn, there's no poking tongue out smilie)" There is.... you can borrow this one if you want. | |||
| |||
"My car keys and phone keep floating around the house...I'm now going to stick them down with Velcro so I'll always know they'll be where (I think) I left them
AND I'm going to get some Velcro fitted to both my bollocks, to stop them banging together like a Newton's Cradle when I'm running up the pub to catch last orders
They already do that on the space station because the earth's velcro runs out up there. That's velcro their phones and keys down, not their bollocks together.
Do phones work in space? And wtf do they have keys for? "You've never driven a space station have you? | |||
"I would like to thank everyone who has contributed to this thread. You have managed to do what my teachers couldn't - make science fun. I have laughed out loud and learned so much. I love you all, and anyone who would like to educate me further can PM me. Xxxxx" Quick...QUICK...one of you boffins...!!! Where can I get some extra-strong Velcro to attract Saucy Tigger a bit closer my way...? | |||
"My car keys and phone keep floating around the house...I'm now going to stick them down with Velcro so I'll always know they'll be where (I think) I left them
AND I'm going to get some Velcro fitted to both my bollocks, to stop them banging together like a Newton's Cradle when I'm running up the pub to catch last orders
They already do that on the space station because the earth's velcro runs out up there. That's velcro their phones and keys down, not their bollocks together.
Do phones work in space? And wtf do they have keys for?
You've never driven a space station have you?"Sadly, no. I have driven an aircraft carrier though. Are they similar?  | |||
"My car keys and phone keep floating around the house...I'm now going to stick them down with Velcro so I'll always know they'll be where (I think) I left them
AND I'm going to get some Velcro fitted to both my bollocks, to stop them banging together like a Newton's Cradle when I'm running up the pub to catch last orders
They already do that on the space station because the earth's velcro runs out up there. That's velcro their phones and keys down, not their bollocks together.
Do phones work in space? And wtf do they have keys for?
You've never driven a space station have you?"I failed the test for that license, well, I'd trained in a right hand drive stick shift, and the test vehicle was a leftie auto, I was fucked two ways from Christmas!! Mind you, I did nail the reversing round Pluto maneuvere, but I deny any rumours about me bumping into Ganymede during the three lightyear turn! | |||
"It's also worth baring in mind that cheese and onion crisps contain neither onion or cheese. With this in mind, perhaps instead of calling them a packet of cheese and onion crisps, we should call them packs of lies? Now straying off the path I may be. But it's a valid point I'm sure you'll agree. " Chicken and mushroom pot noodle is suitable for vegetarians as it has no chicken in it... So a pot of lies....or Pot lier... | |||
"My car keys and phone keep floating around the house...I'm now going to stick them down with Velcro so I'll always know they'll be where (I think) I left them
AND I'm going to get some Velcro fitted to both my bollocks, to stop them banging together like a Newton's Cradle when I'm running up the pub to catch last orders "Sticky spit,works just as well | |||
"Why don't clouds float out into space. Velcro won't stick to clouds. OK OK it's not perfect. There's room in this theory for invisible pushing gremlins to push the clouds back down too if that keeps you onside Otherwise I'll have to have goretex containers included to wrap the clouds in and the whole theory is going to turn into a huge anorak."I think knicker elastic would be better | |||
"Why don't clouds float out into space. Velcro won't stick to clouds. OK OK it's not perfect. There's room in this theory for invisible pushing gremlins to push the clouds back down too if that keeps you onside Otherwise I'll have to have goretex containers included to wrap the clouds in and the whole theory is going to turn into a huge anorak.
I think knicker elastic would be better"Would bra straps be suitable? | |||
"My car keys and phone keep floating around the house...I'm now going to stick them down with Velcro so I'll always know they'll be where (I think) I left them
AND I'm going to get some Velcro fitted to both my bollocks, to stop them banging together like a Newton's Cradle when I'm running up the pub to catch last orders
They already do that on the space station because the earth's velcro runs out up there. That's velcro their phones and keys down, not their bollocks together.
Do phones work in space? And wtf do they have keys for?
You've never driven a space station have you?
Sadly, no. I have driven an aircraft carrier though. Are they similar? "I wish I could help. I'm a theoretician and with all the cut backs it's hard to get the velcro experimentalists to splash out on an aircraft carrier. | |||
"Don't back done here, surely if anything is going to stick to Velcro it's a fluffy cloud?" You're right about fluffy clouds of course, but while they are all messing about with knicker elastic and sticky spit and gecko's feet, we can patent this one. | |||
"slightly off topic but in the same vein as in asking the sciencey geeks lol. why do nuts and bolts only vibrate loose??? They never tighten with vibration if left slightly loose!!!" This is a different thread | |||
"Why don't clouds float out into space. Velcro won't stick to clouds. OK OK it's not perfect. There's room in this theory for invisible pushing gremlins to push the clouds back down too if that keeps you onside Otherwise I'll have to have goretex containers included to wrap the clouds in and the whole theory is going to turn into a huge anorak.
I think knicker elastic would be better
Would bra straps be suitable?"On this topic why is it that bra straps come undone much more easily in porches, rollers and get Italian cars? | |||
| |||
"Why don't clouds float out into space. Velcro won't stick to clouds. OK OK it's not perfect. There's room in this theory for invisible pushing gremlins to push the clouds back down too if that keeps you onside Otherwise I'll have to have goretex containers included to wrap the clouds in and the whole theory is going to turn into a huge anorak.
I think knicker elastic would be better
Would bra straps be suitable?
On this topic why is it that bra straps come undone much more easily in porches, rollers and get Italian cars?"You're assuming the bra is on when entering  | |||
"Why don't clouds float out into space. Velcro won't stick to clouds. OK OK it's not perfect. There's room in this theory for invisible pushing gremlins to push the clouds back down too if that keeps you onside Otherwise I'll have to have goretex containers included to wrap the clouds in and the whole theory is going to turn into a huge anorak.
I think knicker elastic would be better
Would bra straps be suitable?
On this topic why is it that bra straps come undone much more easily in porches, rollers and get Italian cars?
You're assuming the bra is on when entering "Mine certainly wouldn't be | |||
"It's also worth baring in mind that cheese and onion crisps contain neither onion or cheese. With this in mind, perhaps instead of calling them a packet of cheese and onion crisps, we should call them packs of lies? Now straying off the path I may be. But it's a valid point I'm sure you'll agree. Its all in the flavour or the Mind.. Chicken and mushroom pot noodle is suitable for vegetarians as it has no chicken in it... So a pot of lies....or Pot lier..." | |||
"I would like to thank everyone who has contributed to this thread. You have managed to do what my teachers couldn't - make science fun. I have laughed out loud and learned so much. I love you all, and anyone who would like to educate me further can PM me. Xxxxx Quick...QUICK...one of you boffins...!!! Where can I get some extra-strong Velcro to attract Saucy Tigger a bit closer my way...? "Who needs Velcro, mummy lives in the valleys lol xxx | |||
"My car keys and phone keep floating around the house...I'm now going to stick them down with Velcro so I'll always know they'll be where (I think) I left them
AND I'm going to get some Velcro fitted to both my bollocks, to stop them banging together like a Newton's Cradle when I'm running up the pub to catch last orders
They already do that on the space station because the earth's velcro runs out up there. That's velcro their phones and keys down, not their bollocks together. "Actually there is gravity in a LEO.(low earth orbit) Which is where the space station sits. There is about 90% of what there is on earth. Weightlessness is caused by it orbiting at around 18000 mph. So everything is in constant free fall. Claire XX | |||
| |||
