FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > helping to being safe .
helping to being safe .
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"I have just read with interest your other thread on this woman's attack and am absolutely gobsmacked! A) that she had to go thorugh this ordeal, and b) that she isnt going to report it! By doing so, he is still about and could do it to others! " If you get attacked the only option is the Police. There are specific units that are understanding on these issues. Ok so there wont always be a prosecution but the guy will get interviewed and the police may have other cases pending over the same man. | |||
"I have just read with interest your other thread on this woman's attack and am absolutely gobsmacked! A) that she had to go thorugh this ordeal, and b) that she isnt going to report it! By doing so, he is still about and could do it to others! " My thoughts to honey, I think the fear of it happening to another female would be the driving force behind me reporting it, if I found out it had happened to someone else how bad would that be. | |||
"I have just read with interest your other thread on this woman's attack and am absolutely gobsmacked! A) that she had to go thorugh this ordeal, and b) that she isnt going to report it! By doing so, he is still about and could do it to others! My thoughts to honey, I think the fear of it happening to another female would be the driving force behind me reporting it, if I found out it had happened to someone else how bad would that be." I totally agree and really think this guy should be reported to the police. I do understand PD that your friend may not want to have to re-live it in that way, but what is letting him off the hook going to achieve? | |||
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"let not forget it happens to men too , though statistically its more likely to happen to women. only today the news carries a story of a young lad raped by a taxi driver in manchester. " We had a case when a young recruit went out in Pool and he went back with a girl and was raped and he was a fit lad and been through basic training so could look after him self so every one has to take precautions. | |||
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"i read the other post and as i stated on there, if that happened to me, i would of mailed the single fems on here stating who it was, personally, keeping it quiet who it was( so called attacker) is like saying, crack on, theres plenty more fems on here for u to do it to. He's probably reading this saying yep. next!!... talk about sticking together !!" You really need to report any assault to the authorities then he will get what he deserves. | |||
"i read the other post and as i stated on there, if that happened to me, i would of mailed the single fems on here stating who it was, personally, keeping it quiet who it was( so called attacker) is like saying, crack on, theres plenty more fems on here for u to do it to. He's probably reading this saying yep. next!!... talk about sticking together !! You really need to report any assault to the authorities then he will get what he deserves." The sad thing is, he probably wouldnt get what he deserved, the law is an ass. yes i know its wrong, but if anyone did that to me, it would be me dealing with them. I would take the law into my own hands, and deal with the consiquences later.. | |||
"i read the other post and as i stated on there, if that happened to me, i would of mailed the single fems on here stating who it was, personally, keeping it quiet who it was( so called attacker) is like saying, crack on, theres plenty more fems on here for u to do it to. He's probably reading this saying yep. next!!... talk about sticking together !! You really need to report any assault to the authorities then he will get what he deserves. The sad thing is, he probably wouldnt get what he deserved, the law is an ass. yes i know its wrong, but if anyone did that to me, it would be me dealing with them. I would take the law into my own hands, and deal with the consiquences later.." Its very tempting to take things into our own hands, it does teach people a lesson but ultimately you can get in trouble your self. you could if you wished set uo a social network page with the same name as here so peeps could google and name and shame him. But i would never condone that on here lol | |||
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"let not forget it happens to men too , though statistically its more likely to happen to women. only today the news carries a story of a young lad raped by a taxi driver in manchester. " yeah i saw that it was shocking ..but to be honest i still think within swinging its rare. If we pool strategies and tactics -ideas etc thet the people in the community use, it would help make people safer. here is a couple of things i have thought of . 1.always let someone know who your meeting and where ,when and check in your ok at beginning of meet ,midway and at end of meet when you have arrived home . 2.Save your msn converstations and post off fabs until after your meet 3 look at verifications. 4. meet as many people as you can at socials and events .. 5 .trust your gut feeling until proven wrong just my tuppence worth | |||
"let not forget it happens to men too , though statistically its more likely to happen to women. only today the news carries a story of a young lad raped by a taxi driver in manchester. yeah i saw that it was shocking ..but to be honest i still think within swinging its rare. If we pool strategies and tactics -ideas etc thet the people in the community use, it would help make people safer. here is a couple of things i have thought of . 1.always let someone know who your meeting and where ,when and check in your ok at beginning of meet ,midway and at end of meet when you have arrived home . 2.Save your msn converstations and post off fabs until after your meet 3 look at verifications. 4. meet as many people as you can at socials and events .. 5 .trust your gut feeling until proven wrong just my tuppence worth " your spot on with the meetings. Often some place with CCTV is a bonus. I did have a scare a few weeks back when i was with someone and she wanted her fella to listen in on the phone. With hindsight not a good move on my part but we all do things we shake our heads about later. | |||
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"Even the nicest of people can turn into an absolute arse when things don't go their way... Seen it happen with my own eyes and that was with me there PD... One bad in a lawn makes the whole thing a mess, best to root the little fookers out... keeps things all ship shape eh!" Your not wrong there frustration can be a dangerous element. Personally i have too much pride as to get frustrated and far happier to smile and say goodbye than loose control, but that's me i guess we are all different. | |||
"1.always let someone know who your meeting and where ,when and check in your ok at beginning of meet ,midway and at end of meet when you have arrived home . 2.Save your msn converstations and post off fabs until after your meet 3 look at verifications. 4. meet as many people as you can at socials and events .. 5 .trust your gut feeling until proven wrong just my tuppence worth " I thought no. 1 was always a rule of thumb, particularly for singles but I guess sometimes people become overly trusting and forget to make themselves safe. I have in the past offered to send people a scan of my driving license so they can give a friend the details, and know they are real details. That way I hope to prove I am no threat as they know exactly who I am. Noone so far has been worried enough for me to do so. As for no.2, well I am just finishing a degree in forensic science and I can tell you it makes little odds. Everything you have ever done on your computer is there and can be found. The information can be written over at least 8 times and still be recovered. Though I guess it can't hurt and could make life a bit easier. I think no. 1 is the best tactic, I was also thinking... perhaps if the person is verified from meeting you could try inquiring if it would be possible speak to them? One of my past meets offered to do this for me, saying she would happily chat on the phone if any of my potential meets wanted to... can't hurt to ask! | |||
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"not sure how a driving licence scan proves anything though. Just do a Photoshop job and send it through, could still be anybody, photo matches you but all else on the scan is fake. Computer records, let them recover whatever, what does it show, that a meeting was arranged and, er, what ? It's not as if some violent person is going to write a log about it. On second thoughts, actually, some of them do. I retract that bit." Take your point on the license, not on the msn stuff. You can prove things. What if the girl had said to the guy she had a rape fantasy and she wanted him to turn up and no matter what she said (i.e no, stop etc) that she wanted him to carry on? There are some grey areas there don't you think? | |||
"not sure how a driving licence scan proves anything though. Just do a Photoshop job and send it through, could still be anybody, photo matches you but all else on the scan is fake. Computer records, let them recover whatever, what does it show, that a meeting was arranged and, er, what ? It's not as if some violent person is going to write a log about it. On second thoughts, actually, some of them do. I retract that bit. Take your point on the license, not on the msn stuff. You can prove things. What if the girl had said to the guy she had a rape fantasy and she wanted him to turn up and no matter what she said (i.e no, stop etc) that she wanted him to carry on? There are some grey areas there don't you think?" or indeed if a bloke had a rape fantasy ...fropm either sex | |||
"Take your point on the license, not on the msn stuff. You can prove things. What if the girl had said to the guy she had a rape fantasy and she wanted him to turn up and no matter what she said (i.e no, stop etc) that she wanted him to carry on? There are some grey areas there don't you think?" well, in that case, the computer records would be used in his defence, surely ? | |||
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"not sure how a driving licence scan proves anything though. Just do a Photoshop job and send it through, could still be anybody, photo matches you but all else on the scan is fake. Computer records, let them recover whatever, what does it show, that a meeting was arranged and, er, what ? It's not as if some violent person is going to write a log about it. On second thoughts, actually, some of them do. I retract that bit. Take your point on the license, not on the msn stuff. You can prove things. What if the girl had said to the guy she had a rape fantasy and she wanted him to turn up and no matter what she said (i.e no, stop etc) that she wanted him to carry on? There are some grey areas there don't you think? or indeed if a bloke had a rape fantasy ...fropm either sex " i had a woman text me about a rape fantasy, i was pretty keen until i got that then it was Ohhh no no no no. you just can't take the risk as a bloke. I kept the texts as i was genuinely a little un nerved by it all. Thats the sort of thing you come out with after a couple of meets or i would presume so. | |||
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"you have a very valid point there. It is a matter for the police and not speculation or a witch hunt. Admin should remove the postings. I do think there should be an area people can log issues that are not generally visible to the public. They Can then if a specific member has so called lots of black marks take issues with said individual." That is a great idea. Easy to set up too. All they need to do is add an Admin-Only recipient function to the new post page. If Admin receive enough reports from different people concerning the same individual then they'll know something suspicious is going on. | |||
"you have a very valid point there. It is a matter for the police and not speculation or a witch hunt. Admin should remove the postings. I do think there should be an area people can log issues that are not generally visible to the public. They Can then if a specific member has so called lots of black marks take issues with said individual." Any posts of that type are removed. | |||
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