FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Sex or Affection?
Sex or Affection?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ok, so lets assume we all enjoy both, but which one do you prefer? Like say, if you could have it right now, would you choose to have a hot fuck, or a warm loving cuddle (as long as you like?) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok, so lets assume we all enjoy both, but which one do you prefer? Like say, if you could have it right now, would you choose to have a hot fuck, or a warm loving cuddle (as long as you like?)"
Both. Hot fuck followed by loving cuddles is the ultmiate. If only one then cuddles all the way for me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Affection without sex is why there is so much infidelity on here."
Sex without affection is equally a reason for attached people to be here.
Or in my case, neither sex nor affection. I don't miss sex, but by God I miss having my hand held. And it's been ten years.
Of the two, affection wins. Sex is meaningless in itself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Right this instant? Affection.
Tomorrow? Probably sex.
If I had to choose one or the other for the rest of my life - affection without doubt. Life without affection must feel so incomplete. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Affection without sex is why there is so much infidelity on here.
Sex without affection is equally a reason for attached people to be here.
Or in my case, neither sex nor affection. I don't miss sex, but by God I miss having my hand held. And it's been ten years.
Of the two, affection wins. Sex is meaningless in itself."
Interesting.
People look for what they crave I guess, but I'd agree that affection would win out over sex ultimately. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I despair ....
Seriously , it's a swinging site and once again virtually everyone prefers a cuddle to sex on the forum .
It's small wonder so many newbies are confused when they sign up .
Go to socials , it's not instashag , be patient is the advice given .
They are then told by the forum regulars to keep posting on the forums and you will get meets .
Yep , you will - and if you're lucky you may even get a cuddle  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I despair ....
Seriously , it's a swinging site and once again virtually everyone prefers a cuddle to sex on the forum .
It's small wonder so many newbies are confused when they sign up .
Go to socials , it's not instashag , be patient is the advice given .
They are then told by the forum regulars to keep posting on the forums and you will get meets .
Yep , you will - and if you're lucky you may even get a cuddle "
*hugs* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I despair ....
Seriously , it's a swinging site and once again virtually everyone prefers a cuddle to sex on the forum .
It's small wonder so many newbies are confused when they sign up .
Go to socials , it's not instashag , be patient is the advice given .
They are then told by the forum regulars to keep posting on the forums and you will get meets .
Yep , you will - and if you're lucky you may even get a cuddle "
Someone needs a great big cuddle |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I despair ....
Seriously , it's a swinging site and once again virtually everyone prefers a cuddle to sex on the forum .
It's small wonder so many newbies are confused when they sign up .
Go to socials , it's not instashag , be patient is the advice given .
They are then told by the forum regulars to keep posting on the forums and you will get meets .
Yep , you will - and if you're lucky you may even get a cuddle
*hugs*"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I despair ....
Seriously , it's a swinging site and once again virtually everyone prefers a cuddle to sex on the forum .
It's small wonder so many newbies are confused when they sign up .
Go to socials , it's not instashag , be patient is the advice given .
They are then told by the forum regulars to keep posting on the forums and you will get meets .
Yep , you will - and if you're lucky you may even get a cuddle "
Yeah but it's fine because we've got you to redress the balance. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I despair ....
Seriously , it's a swinging site and once again virtually everyone prefers a cuddle to sex on the forum .
It's small wonder so many newbies are confused when they sign up .
Go to socials , it's not instashag , be patient is the advice given .
They are then told by the forum regulars to keep posting on the forums and you will get meets .
Yep , you will - and if you're lucky you may even get a cuddle "
But your post misses the point of the OP, I think. I don't want affection from anyone on here. But if I had to choose, in a vacuum, between affection and sex I would choose affection. Its a more generalized question.
Besides, people can get out of this site whatever they want. Whether that is meeting for sex or meeting for cuddles. Surely?
-Courtney |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sex.
Cuddling makes me want sex anyway.
Especially when cuddling in the morning  "
Lol, now i'm thinking bum cheeks cuddling something that's poking into them.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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sometimes during a loving warm cuddle you want it to end in hot sex.
Sometimes during hot sex you want it to end with a loving warm cuddle.
Don't think I could choose one over the other.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"sometimes during a loving warm cuddle you want it to end in hot sex.
Sometimes during hot sex you want it to end with a loving warm cuddle.
Don't think I could choose one over the other...."
Both? What is this madness, it's a swinging site don'tcha know |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I despair ....
Seriously , it's a swinging site and once again virtually everyone prefers a cuddle to sex on the forum .
It's small wonder so many newbies are confused when they sign up .
Go to socials , it's not instashag , be patient is the advice given .
They are then told by the forum regulars to keep posting on the forums and you will get meets .
Yep , you will - and if you're lucky you may even get a cuddle
Yeah but it's fine because we've got you to redress the balance. "
Do you know what ?
It sometimes feels a bit like that !
I know that comment was somewhat facetious , and that's cool , no problem here with that .
But it really does seem more like a lonely hearts site than a swinging site sometimes .
|
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"I despair ....
Seriously , it's a swinging site and once again virtually everyone prefers a cuddle to sex on the forum .
It's small wonder so many newbies are confused when they sign up .
Go to socials , it's not instashag , be patient is the advice given .
They are then told by the forum regulars to keep posting on the forums and you will get meets .
Yep , you will - and if you're lucky you may even get a cuddle
Yeah but it's fine because we've got you to redress the balance.
Do you know what ?
It sometimes feels a bit like that !
I know that comment was somewhat facetious , and that's cool , no problem here with that .
But it really does seem more like a lonely hearts site than a swinging site sometimes .
"
Each to their own, why let is concern you, you do your own thing and let others do theirs....simple |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I despair ....
Seriously , it's a swinging site and once again virtually everyone prefers a cuddle to sex on the forum .
It's small wonder so many newbies are confused when they sign up .
Go to socials , it's not instashag , be patient is the advice given .
They are then told by the forum regulars to keep posting on the forums and you will get meets .
Yep , you will - and if you're lucky you may even get a cuddle
Yeah but it's fine because we've got you to redress the balance.
Do you know what ?
It sometimes feels a bit like that !
I know that comment was somewhat facetious , and that's cool , no problem here with that .
But it really does seem more like a lonely hearts site than a swinging site sometimes .
"
It wasn't, actually. But can I ask a genuine question? Why are you so surprised that some people on here seem to want what you (presumably) have as a couple, which is a loving relationship? I can understand not wanting affection with a meet from here, especially as a couple, that makes perfect sense. But surely you have affection with each other? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So human beings want affection...shock horror  I'm sure as a couple you're affectionate. I hope. I think OP meant generally speaking, not necessarily from fab meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I despair ....
Seriously , it's a swinging site and once again virtually everyone prefers a cuddle to sex on the forum .
It's small wonder so many newbies are confused when they sign up .
Go to socials , it's not instashag , be patient is the advice given .
They are then told by the forum regulars to keep posting on the forums and you will get meets .
Yep , you will - and if you're lucky you may even get a cuddle
But your post misses the point of the OP, I think. I don't want affection from anyone on here. But if I had to choose, in a vacuum, between affection and sex I would choose affection. Its a more generalized question.
Besides, people can get out of this site whatever they want. Whether that is meeting for sex or meeting for cuddles. Surely?
-Courtney"
Perhaps I have missed the point Courtney , but one can't ignore the fact that we are on a swinging site .
Like yourself , we don't seek affection from meets on here , we have each other for that , plus our kids and if we needed more we could get a pet .
I assumed the op was asking us what we would prefer - sex or a cuddle .
And the majority go for affection and cuddles .
Which is their choice , as is anyone's preference on fab . But I still despair as its my personal feeling towards the consensus on so many of the current posts of late . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I can do without sex. Indefinitely. I have no uncontrollable urges.
But sex means closeness and affection. And when you haven't had someone deliberately touch you, look you in the eyes or say your name for a decade, I'm not ashamed to admit that being looked at, listened to, and just touched is what I crave more than sex.
Bang goes my popularity. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Affection without sex is why there is so much infidelity on here.
Sex without affection is equally a reason for attached people to be here.
Or in my case, neither sex nor affection. I don't miss sex, but by God I miss having my hand held. And it's been ten years.
Of the two, affection wins. Sex is meaningless in itself."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I despair ....
Seriously , it's a swinging site and once again virtually everyone prefers a cuddle to sex on the forum .
It's small wonder so many newbies are confused when they sign up .
Go to socials , it's not instashag , be patient is the advice given .
They are then told by the forum regulars to keep posting on the forums and you will get meets .
Yep , you will - and if you're lucky you may even get a cuddle
Yeah but it's fine because we've got you to redress the balance.
Do you know what ?
It sometimes feels a bit like that !
I know that comment was somewhat facetious , and that's cool , no problem here with that .
But it really does seem more like a lonely hearts site than a swinging site sometimes .
It wasn't, actually. But can I ask a genuine question? Why are you so surprised that some people on here seem to want what you (presumably) have as a couple, which is a loving relationship? I can understand not wanting affection with a meet from here, especially as a couple, that makes perfect sense. But surely you have affection with each other?"
My apologies for wrongly assuming that .
Of course we do , hugely so .
Perhaps I have misinterpreted the op as I assumed he meant from a meet on here  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can do without sex. Indefinitely. I have no uncontrollable urges.
But sex means closeness and affection. And when you haven't had someone deliberately touch you, look you in the eyes or say your name for a decade, I'm not ashamed to admit that being looked at, listened to, and just touched is what I crave more than sex.
Bang goes my popularity."
Nothing wrong in saying that, It's what I have been looking for a long time,
If it's on here or somewhere else it just means the sex will be better in the long term for me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I despair ....
Seriously , it's a swinging site and once again virtually everyone prefers a cuddle to sex on the forum .
It's small wonder so many newbies are confused when they sign up .
Go to socials , it's not instashag , be patient is the advice given .
They are then told by the forum regulars to keep posting on the forums and you will get meets .
Yep , you will - and if you're lucky you may even get a cuddle
Yeah but it's fine because we've got you to redress the balance.
Do you know what ?
It sometimes feels a bit like that !
I know that comment was somewhat facetious , and that's cool , no problem here with that .
But it really does seem more like a lonely hearts site than a swinging site sometimes .
It wasn't, actually. But can I ask a genuine question? Why are you so surprised that some people on here seem to want what you (presumably) have as a couple, which is a loving relationship? I can understand not wanting affection with a meet from here, especially as a couple, that makes perfect sense. But surely you have affection with each other?
My apologies for wrongly assuming that .
Of course we do , hugely so .
Perhaps I have misinterpreted the op as I assumed he meant from a meet on here "
I read it as either tbh. And don't despair, most of those who are meeters rather than chatters on these forums will be out having sex at quarter past midnight on a Saturday night anyway, so it's always going to be a skewed set of answers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I despair ....
Seriously , it's a swinging site and once again virtually everyone prefers a cuddle to sex on the forum .
It's small wonder so many newbies are confused when they sign up .
Go to socials , it's not instashag , be patient is the advice given .
They are then told by the forum regulars to keep posting on the forums and you will get meets .
Yep , you will - and if you're lucky you may even get a cuddle
Yeah but it's fine because we've got you to redress the balance.
Do you know what ?
It sometimes feels a bit like that !
I know that comment was somewhat facetious , and that's cool , no problem here with that .
But it really does seem more like a lonely hearts site than a swinging site sometimes .
It wasn't, actually. But can I ask a genuine question? Why are you so surprised that some people on here seem to want what you (presumably) have as a couple, which is a loving relationship? I can understand not wanting affection with a meet from here, especially as a couple, that makes perfect sense. But surely you have affection with each other?
My apologies for wrongly assuming that .
Of course we do , hugely so .
Perhaps I have misinterpreted the op as I assumed he meant from a meet on here
I read it as either tbh. And don't despair, most of those who are meeters rather than chatters on these forums will be out having sex at quarter past midnight on a Saturday night anyway, so it's always going to be a skewed set of answers "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I despair ....
Seriously , it's a swinging site and once again virtually everyone prefers a cuddle to sex on the forum .
It's small wonder so many newbies are confused when they sign up .
Go to socials , it's not instashag , be patient is the advice given .
They are then told by the forum regulars to keep posting on the forums and you will get meets .
Yep , you will - and if you're lucky you may even get a cuddle
Yeah but it's fine because we've got you to redress the balance.
Do you know what ?
It sometimes feels a bit like that !
I know that comment was somewhat facetious , and that's cool , no problem here with that .
But it really does seem more like a lonely hearts site than a swinging site sometimes .
It wasn't, actually. But can I ask a genuine question? Why are you so surprised that some people on here seem to want what you (presumably) have as a couple, which is a loving relationship? I can understand not wanting affection with a meet from here, especially as a couple, that makes perfect sense. But surely you have affection with each other?
My apologies for wrongly assuming that .
Of course we do , hugely so .
Perhaps I have misinterpreted the op as I assumed he meant from a meet on here
I read it as either tbh. And don't despair, most of those who are meeters rather than chatters on these forums will be out having sex at quarter past midnight on a Saturday night anyway, so it's always going to be a skewed set of answers
"
And tbh they're poles apart choice wise! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I cannot see why people cannot use this site how they wish to without being criticised by statements like....this isnt a dating site.
"
In much the same way , I can't see why swingers can't hope for a swingers site to be a place to meet like minded folk to swing with .
I actually didn't criticise , I said I despaired at the general consensus on so many threads , which would be interpreted by anyone as that which would be expected from a dating site .
And clearly I am in the minority , which is fine .
I totally get the singles on fab who are looking for a swing partner . And indeed I know for a fact that there are solid couples who met through fab and found love . That's wonderful and I genuinely feel happy for them .
What I can't get my head around is those who are looking for the one on here , and want to enter into a monogamous relationship .
But as is so often said , each to their own and all that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok, so lets assume we all enjoy both, but which one do you prefer? Like say, if you could have it right now, would you choose to have a hot fuck, or a warm loving cuddle (as long as you like?)"
Ive had both recently. Great sex followed by affectionate cuddles and chat. Not many here want or will give both, I'm very lucky |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can do without sex. Indefinitely. I have no uncontrollable urges.
But sex means closeness and affection. And when you haven't had someone deliberately touch you, look you in the eyes or say your name for a decade, I'm not ashamed to admit that being looked at, listened to, and just touched is what I crave more than sex.
Bang goes my popularity."
I am in a similar situation to you. No sex or affection for years, and recent things have made it worse so that, like yourself I need to be listened to etc. Luckily I think I've found that someone who does that, there are men out there who will listen and I hope you find one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I cannot see why people cannot use this site how they wish to without being criticised by statements like....this isnt a dating site.
In much the same way , I can't see why swingers can't hope for a swingers site to be a place to meet like minded folk to swing with .
I actually didn't criticise , I said I despaired at the general consensus on so many threads , which would be interpreted by anyone as that which would be expected from a dating site .
And clearly I am in the minority , which is fine .
I totally get the singles on fab who are looking for a swing partner . And indeed I know for a fact that there are solid couples who met through fab and found love . That's wonderful and I genuinely feel happy for them .
What I can't get my head around is those who are looking for the one on here , and want to enter into a monogamous relationship .
But as is so often said , each to their own and all that "
I'm not interested in a swinging relationship, it just doesn't appeal to me at all.
3sums, fucking other people separately, getting other people involved in kinky stuff, all this appeals though. This wouldn't make me monogamous either, monogamy and committing myself to one person for the rest of my life also doesn't appeal.
I can get why people would look for a mongamous relationship on here, theres many reasons. Such as having a high sex drive, you're more likely to find someone compatible on a sex site.
I just don't get the people who think being promiscuous is wrong (especially for women to be so) and these people are not seen as a valid option for a relationship, even a monogamous and faithful one. People can adapt to their circumstances, people cam fall in love and anything other than their partner will become sexually irrelevant. It can happen. I've fucked around, got in several relationships where i was faithful one was 11 years long and i never felt the need to go fuck someone else. It wouldn't suit me right now that's all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I cannot see why people cannot use this site how they wish to without being criticised by statements like....this isnt a dating site.
In much the same way , I can't see why swingers can't hope for a swingers site to be a place to meet like minded folk to swing with .
I actually didn't criticise , I said I despaired at the general consensus on so many threads , which would be interpreted by anyone as that which would be expected from a dating site .
And clearly I am in the minority , which is fine .
I totally get the singles on fab who are looking for a swing partner . And indeed I know for a fact that there are solid couples who met through fab and found love . That's wonderful and I genuinely feel happy for them .
What I can't get my head around is those who are looking for the one on here , and want to enter into a monogamous relationship .
But as is so often said , each to their own and all that
I'm not interested in a swinging relationship, it just doesn't appeal to me at all.
3sums, fucking other people separately, getting other people involved in kinky stuff, all this appeals though. This wouldn't make me monogamous either, monogamy and committing myself to one person for the rest of my life also doesn't appeal.
I can get why people would look for a mongamous relationship on here, theres many reasons. Such as having a high sex drive, you're more likely to find someone compatible on a sex site.
I just don't get the people who think being promiscuous is wrong (especially for women to be so) and these people are not seen as a valid option for a relationship, even a monogamous and faithful one. People can adapt to their circumstances, people cam fall in love and anything other than their partner will become sexually irrelevant. It can happen. I've fucked around, got in several relationships where i was faithful one was 11 years long and i never felt the need to go fuck someone else. It wouldn't suit me right now that's all."
I've always liked your style , your posts and that includes this one .
You are a swingle , you get the swinging lifestyle and I respect that .
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I cannot see why people cannot use this site how they wish to without being criticised by statements like....this isnt a dating site.
In much the same way , I can't see why swingers can't hope for a swingers site to be a place to meet like minded folk to swing with .
I actually didn't criticise , I said I despaired at the general consensus on so many threads , which would be interpreted by anyone as that which would be expected from a dating site .
And clearly I am in the minority , which is fine .
I totally get the singles on fab who are looking for a swing partner . And indeed I know for a fact that there are solid couples who met through fab and found love . That's wonderful and I genuinely feel happy for them .
What I can't get my head around is those who are looking for the one on here , and want to enter into a monogamous relationship .
But as is so often said , each to their own and all that
I'm not interested in a swinging relationship, it just doesn't appeal to me at all.
3sums, fucking other people separately, getting other people involved in kinky stuff, all this appeals though. This wouldn't make me monogamous either, monogamy and committing myself to one person for the rest of my life also doesn't appeal.
I can get why people would look for a mongamous relationship on here, theres many reasons. Such as having a high sex drive, you're more likely to find someone compatible on a sex site.
I just don't get the people who think being promiscuous is wrong (especially for women to be so) and these people are not seen as a valid option for a relationship, even a monogamous and faithful one. People can adapt to their circumstances, people cam fall in love and anything other than their partner will become sexually irrelevant. It can happen. I've fucked around, got in several relationships where i was faithful one was 11 years long and i never felt the need to go fuck someone else. It wouldn't suit me right now that's all.
I've always liked your style , your posts and that includes this one .
You are a swingle , you get the swinging lifestyle and I respect that .
"
Thanks. I'm still after dates though, sexy dates.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What about you, SB? If you had to choose?
-Courtney
I long for the embrace of someone who truly cares for me x
You're so sweet 
-Courtney"
A lonely heart resides within this icy exterior, but its embers continue to flicker, like a forgotten but still burning fire...it just needs a loving poker to stir it back into a glorious warming glow x |
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"I cannot see why people cannot use this site how they wish to without being criticised by statements like....this isnt a dating site.
In much the same way , I can't see why swingers can't hope for a swingers site to be a place to meet like minded folk to swing with .
I actually didn't criticise , I said I despaired at the general consensus on so many threads , which would be interpreted by anyone as that which would be expected from a dating site .
And clearly I am in the minority , which is fine .
I totally get the singles on fab who are looking for a swing partner . And indeed I know for a fact that there are solid couples who met through fab and found love . That's wonderful and I genuinely feel happy for them .
What I can't get my head around is those who are looking for the one on here , and want to enter into a monogamous relationship .
But as is so often said , each to their own and all that "
I've been a single swinger, now want an open relationship with another swinger so we can swing together. Not likely to find that on vanilla sites so why not Fabs?
You use it to fuck (am always in admiration how open and free you guys are), some use it to dick around on the forums and others looking for more. That so bad?
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By *plankyMan
over a year ago
Beeston |
Damn!!
Since reading this I've decided to change my tactics.
Instead of sending out a "fancy a fuck?" message with 23 cock pictures I am now sending out a message that reads "would woo like a cuddly wuddly?" and attached a picture of a teddy bear with a strap-on.
Actually, it makes no difference to the number of responses.
x
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Damn!!
Since reading this I've decided to change my tactics.
Instead of sending out a "fancy a fuck?" message with 23 cock pictures I am now sending out a message that reads "would woo like a cuddly wuddly?" and attached a picture of a teddy bear with a strap-on.
Actually, it makes no difference to the number of responses.
x
"
hey it will do though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I cannot see why people cannot use this site how they wish to without being criticised by statements like....this isnt a dating site.
In much the same way , I can't see why swingers can't hope for a swingers site to be a place to meet like minded folk to swing with .
I actually didn't criticise , I said I despaired at the general consensus on so many threads , which would be interpreted by anyone as that which would be expected from a dating site .
And clearly I am in the minority , which is fine .
I totally get the singles on fab who are looking for a swing partner . And indeed I know for a fact that there are solid couples who met through fab and found love . That's wonderful and I genuinely feel happy for them .
What I can't get my head around is those who are looking for the one on here , and want to enter into a monogamous relationship .
But as is so often said , each to their own and all that
I've been a single swinger, now want an open relationship with another swinger so we can swing together. Not likely to find that on vanilla sites so why not Fabs?
You use it to fuck (am always in admiration how open and free you guys are), some use it to dick around on the forums and others looking for more. That so bad?
"
That's not so bad at all
Infact I said as much in my post , it's great when singles find a fb or a partner who wants to explore the scene as a couple .
Fab is the perfect place for finding that
Good luck , I hope you find it and enjoy the freedom we enjoy |
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"I cannot see why people cannot use this site how they wish to without being criticised by statements like....this isnt a dating site.
In much the same way , I can't see why swingers can't hope for a swingers site to be a place to meet like minded folk to swing with .
I actually didn't criticise , I said I despaired at the general consensus on so many threads , which would be interpreted by anyone as that which would be expected from a dating site .
And clearly I am in the minority , which is fine .
I totally get the singles on fab who are looking for a swing partner . And indeed I know for a fact that there are solid couples who met through fab and found love . That's wonderful and I genuinely feel happy for them .
What I can't get my head around is those who are looking for the one on here , and want to enter into a monogamous relationship .
But as is so often said , each to their own and all that
I've been a single swinger, now want an open relationship with another swinger so we can swing together. Not likely to find that on vanilla sites so why not Fabs?
You use it to fuck (am always in admiration how open and free you guys are), some use it to dick around on the forums and others looking for more. That so bad?
That's not so bad at all
Infact I said as much in my post , it's great when singles find a fb or a partner who wants to explore the scene as a couple .
Fab is the perfect place for finding that
Good luck , I hope you find it and enjoy the freedom we enjoy "
Thanks. I'm in awe of the awesome couples on here, want it myself now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I cannot see why people cannot use this site how they wish to without being criticised by statements like....this isnt a dating site.
In much the same way , I can't see why swingers can't hope for a swingers site to be a place to meet like minded folk to swing with .
I actually didn't criticise , I said I despaired at the general consensus on so many threads , which would be interpreted by anyone as that which would be expected from a dating site .
And clearly I am in the minority , which is fine .
I totally get the singles on fab who are looking for a swing partner . And indeed I know for a fact that there are solid couples who met through fab and found love . That's wonderful and I genuinely feel happy for them .
What I can't get my head around is those who are looking for the one on here , and want to enter into a monogamous relationship .
But as is so often said , each to their own and all that
I've been a single swinger, now want an open relationship with another swinger so we can swing together. Not likely to find that on vanilla sites so why not Fabs?
You use it to fuck (am always in admiration how open and free you guys are), some use it to dick around on the forums and others looking for more. That so bad?
That's not so bad at all
Infact I said as much in my post , it's great when singles find a fb or a partner who wants to explore the scene as a couple .
Fab is the perfect place for finding that
Good luck , I hope you find it and enjoy the freedom we enjoy
Thanks. I'm in awe of the awesome couples on here, want it myself now "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Bad sex is like a punishment.
Affection can become cloying and oppressive.
If the sex was really good I'd have the sex. Cuddles would bore me after a while. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok, so lets assume we all enjoy both, but which one do you prefer? Like say, if you could have it right now, would you choose to have a hot fuck, or a warm loving cuddle (as long as you like?)"
Affection for me runs much deeper than a cuddle. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Right this instant? Affection.
Tomorrow? Probably sex.
If I had to choose one or the other for the rest of my life - affection without doubt. Life without affection must feel so incomplete."
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I cannot see why people cannot use this site how they wish to without being criticised by statements like....this isnt a dating site.
In much the same way , I can't see why swingers can't hope for a swingers site to be a place to meet like minded folk to swing with .
I actually didn't criticise , I said I despaired at the general consensus on so many threads , which would be interpreted by anyone as that which would be expected from a dating site .
And clearly I am in the minority , which is fine .
I totally get the singles on fab who are looking for a swing partner . And indeed I know for a fact that there are solid couples who met through fab and found love . That's wonderful and I genuinely feel happy for them .
What I can't get my head around is those who are looking for the one on here , and want to enter into a monogamous relationship .
But as is so often said , each to their own and all that "
Correct me if I am wrong, but I get the feeling you are talking about my thread "The One" from yesterday. If so, that had nothing to do with meeting the one from on here, not for me anyway.
I'm a hopeless romantic and I love to here such things. And ultimately "The Lounge" is for discussion of such things I believe.
If you don't like it, don't read it or stay in "Swingers Chat" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Right now I want the sex and if it was with the bestie id get the affection and cuddles afterwards so its a win win .. ..but tis a Sunday morning and Sunday mornings for me are all about sex sex and more sex |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"At this moment in time i would love sex with my special friend as it always ends in amazing snuggles after x"
That sounds wonderful...now I'd like to have sex with your special friend too...I love me some post coital snuggles |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Honestly I think a lot of us singles on here crave affection and we use sex as a vehicle to get it (sometimes). Simply because sex is far easier to find. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"Honestly I think a lot of us singles on here crave affection and we use sex as a vehicle to get it (sometimes). Simply because sex is far easier to find. "
100% agree........ not me though, but I do agree with you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Honestly I think a lot of us singles on here crave affection and we use sex as a vehicle to get it (sometimes). Simply because sex is far easier to find. "
You are so right. |
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"Honestly I think a lot of us singles on here crave affection and we use sex as a vehicle to get it (sometimes). Simply because sex is far easier to find. "
That sounds entirely possible. I think nearly all humans crave or even need physical contact and all the other things that simple affection provides and sex is one way of getting those things.
I often wonder if the people who say they are here due to sexless marriages would see things differently if their relationship included non sexual physical affection. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"Honestly I think a lot of us singles on here crave affection and we use sex as a vehicle to get it (sometimes). Simply because sex is far easier to find. "
I vote that the 'post of the year' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Honestly I think a lot of us singles on here crave affection and we use sex as a vehicle to get it (sometimes). Simply because sex is far easier to find. "
and easier to deal with if shit goes tits up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Honestly I think a lot of us singles on here crave affection and we use sex as a vehicle to get it (sometimes). Simply because sex is far easier to find.
That sounds entirely possible. I think nearly all humans crave or even need physical contact and all the other things that simple affection provides and sex is one way of getting those things.
I often wonder if the people who say they are here due to sexless marriages would see things differently if their relationship included non sexual physical affection."
One of the first things that
happens in couples therapy is to try and establish intimacy again. To the point any sex at all is actually off the cards. I think for some of the married people on here it is a lack of affection as opposed to lack of sex. However for others it may just be they need something extra or different. Too much love can kill you was in a song and I think it happens in some relationships too. It's about balance . Says the divorced single one lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Honestly I think a lot of us singles on here crave affection and we use sex as a vehicle to get it (sometimes). Simply because sex is far easier to find.
I vote that the 'post of the year' "
Not bad for a hopeless romantic |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"Honestly I think a lot of us singles on here crave affection and we use sex as a vehicle to get it (sometimes). Simply because sex is far easier to find.
I vote that the 'post of the year'
Not bad for a hopeless romantic "
I hope you find what you seek |
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By *3xymamaWoman
over a year ago
Uptown Top Ranking |
"I can do without sex. Indefinitely. I have no uncontrollable urges.
But sex means closeness and affection. And when you haven't had someone deliberately touch you, look you in the eyes or say your name for a decade, I'm not ashamed to admit that being looked at, listened to, and just touched is what I crave more than sex.
Bang goes my popularity."
I for one totally agree with you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Honestly I think a lot of us singles on here crave affection and we use sex as a vehicle to get it (sometimes). Simply because sex is far easier to find. "
What a great point !
Cuts right through the bs and to the very heart of the matter
When I ( the male ) was single some six years ago after a long marriage had finished , I craved something constantly . I joined dating sites , spending time with various women in the same boat as I was in , often ending the date with sex which scratched that itch . But the next day , the stark realisation that I was on my own would kick in .
After a while I couldn't be bothered with the highs and lows of the dating game , thinking I would just enjoy my single life . A few months later Sabrina became single too and we went out as mates for pizza ( we worked together ) .
Well one thing led to another and 5 years later here we are . 3 years married , and 4 years of swinging together . We are both happier than we have ever been , with all the affection for each other we need , and enjoying sex and lust with others .
Ain't life great |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok, so lets assume we all enjoy both, but which one do you prefer? Like say, if you could have it right now, would you choose to have a hot fuck, or a warm loving cuddle (as long as you like?)"
Ive been lucky enough to still have sexual encounters outside of a relationship but Its been a while since i've had a relationship with cuddles and affection and i miss them!
Hard choice but i think i'd pick affection |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Honestly I think a lot of us singles on here crave affection and we use sex as a vehicle to get it (sometimes). Simply because sex is far easier to find. "
Reading a lot of stuff on here that would explain a lot. |
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"Honestly I think a lot of us singles on here crave affection and we use sex as a vehicle to get it (sometimes). Simply because sex is far easier to find.
That sounds entirely possible. I think nearly all humans crave or even need physical contact and all the other things that simple affection provides and sex is one way of getting those things.
I often wonder if the people who say they are here due to sexless marriages would see things differently if their relationship included non sexual physical affection.
One of the first things that
happens in couples therapy is to try and establish intimacy again. To the point any sex at all is actually off the cards. I think for some of the married people on here it is a lack of affection as opposed to lack of sex. However for others it may just be they need something extra or different. Too much love can kill you was in a song and I think it happens in some relationships too. It's about balance . Says the divorced single one lol "
I think you're probably right I wouldn't assume to speak for others it was just idle wondering |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Honestly I think a lot of us singles on here crave affection and we use sex as a vehicle to get it (sometimes). Simply because sex is far easier to find.
What a great point !
Cuts right through the bs and to the very heart of the matter
When I ( the male ) was single some six years ago after a long marriage had finished , I craved something constantly . I joined dating sites , spending time with various women in the same boat as I was in , often ending the date with sex which scratched that itch . But the next day , the stark realisation that I was on my own would kick in .
After a while I couldn't be bothered with the highs and lows of the dating game , thinking I would just enjoy my single life . A few months later Sabrina became single too and we went out as mates for pizza ( we worked together ) .
Well one thing led to another and 5 years later here we are . 3 years married , and 4 years of swinging together . We are both happier than we have ever been , with all the affection for each other we need , and enjoying sex and lust with others .
Ain't life great "
That realisation moment is the one that haunts lots of us on here so thats why we all bang on about more than just the physical. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Honestly I think a lot of us singles on here crave affection and we use sex as a vehicle to get it (sometimes). Simply because sex is far easier to find.
What a great point !
Cuts right through the bs and to the very heart of the matter
When I ( the male ) was single some six years ago after a long marriage had finished , I craved something constantly . I joined dating sites , spending time with various women in the same boat as I was in , often ending the date with sex which scratched that itch . But the next day , the stark realisation that I was on my own would kick in .
After a while I couldn't be bothered with the highs and lows of the dating game , thinking I would just enjoy my single life . A few months later Sabrina became single too and we went out as mates for pizza ( we worked together ) .
Well one thing led to another and 5 years later here we are . 3 years married , and 4 years of swinging together . We are both happier than we have ever been , with all the affection for each other we need , and enjoying sex and lust with others .
Ain't life great
That realisation moment is the one that haunts lots of us on here so thats why we all bang on about more than just the physical. "
I see that now . This thread has been an eye opener |
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"To be honest both. Though I have forgotten what both are like. I do wonder sometimes what people on fab are really looking for. "
I lost my way on here a long time ago...I don't know why I'm on here any more I guess it's the forums that keeps me here. |
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By *km45Man
over a year ago
UTTOXETER |
"To be honest both. Though I have forgotten what both are like. I do wonder sometimes what people on fab are really looking for.
I lost my way on here a long time ago...I don't know why I'm on here any more I guess it's the forums that keeps me here. "
I agree it's the forums that keep me here too. Through them I have made some good online friends. |
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
"Ok, so lets assume we all enjoy both, but which one do you prefer? Like say, if you could have it right now, would you choose to have a hot fuck, or a warm loving cuddle (as long as you like?)"
For me, it has to be affection |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"even the word 'snuggles' is making me barf.....
I love a cuddle but I'm with you on that one. Or worse 'nuggles 
Stops using the word snuggles "
Snuggles isn't such a bad word, its when you start fluttering your eyelashes, pursing your lips and referring to them as 'Schnuckles' that you need to start worrying. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My daughter says I'm a awkward mood today, so in that case... I'll pick the 'hot sex' please "
Hot sex followed by a hot chocolate followed by more hot sex suit you?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"even the word 'snuggles' is making me barf.....
I love a cuddle but I'm with you on that one. Or worse 'nuggles
Stops using the word snuggles
Snuggles isn't such a bad word, its when you start fluttering your eyelashes, pursing your lips and referring to them as 'Schnuckles' that you need to start worrying."
I'm reluctant to use the word cuddles even, but it's down to what is happening around the cuddles as to the words I use.
Shnuckles just sounds cringeworthy and I would instantly be uneasy with anyone saying it like that |
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"Honestly I think a lot of us singles on here crave affection and we use sex as a vehicle to get it (sometimes). Simply because sex is far easier to find. "
I think you are correct, though it is not like that for me because in my opinion there is no true affection in casual sex, and that superficial pretence is an anathema to me. Seeking affection there would leave you so empty.
I can use nsa sex to scratch a totally different kind of itch, sure, but I only expect true affection from a deeper friendship or relationship. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I despair ....
Seriously , it's a swinging site and once again virtually everyone prefers a cuddle to sex on the forum .
It's small wonder so many newbies are confused when they sign up .
Go to socials , it's not instashag , be patient is the advice given .
They are then told by the forum regulars to keep posting on the forums and you will get meets .
Yep , you will - and if you're lucky you may even get a cuddle "
I took it as reading what you would rather have more than what you would like from this site.
To the OP...I suppose it would depend on my mood but if I HAD to pick sex OR affection from my OH then I would pick affection. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Actually answering the original question.
Sex is better with affection.
Even when you're pounding away as hard as you can, maybe choking and pinning them down at the same time, a kiss in amongst the mass of raw sex just shows that you're not doing it because you're a bastard, but because the people involved have agreed that is what they need and it's being done for mutual satisfaction.
The cuddles afterwards show that there is care and a will to look after each other, whether they're partners or one offs. |
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"My daughter says I'm a awkward mood today, so in that case... I'll pick the 'hot sex' please
Hot sex followed by a hot chocolate followed by more hot sex suit you? "
Yep... That'll do very nicely thankyou |
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"Definetly affection. ..you can get sex from anyone but affection only from someone who cares..even better when you get both from the same person "
Exactly. If there is no true feeling it is little more than body contact, a sensual pleasure for sure, I adore all kinds of touch, maybe even a feeling of warmth, but not the kind of life affirming affection that I believe we all need. |
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
"...
The cuddles afterwards show that there is care and a will to look after each other, whether they're partners or one offs."
Yes, affection can be between two people who have known each other just for a few hours and will probably never see each other again
It is not the same as falling in love or being in love; it is more like caring about someone and their feelings, even if it for that short period of time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Affection without sex is why there is so much infidelity on here.
Sex without affection is equally a reason for attached people to be here.
Or in my case, neither sex nor affection. I don't miss sex, but by God I miss having my hand held. And it's been ten years.
Of the two, affection wins. Sex is meaningless in itself."
Couldn't agree with you more sex is easy to find. That affection that makes you feel wonderful very very difficult to find and then keep.
My ex would come no where near me till he wanted sex. Then he thought a rushed cuddle or a quick snog would get him sex. What he failed to see was if he was affectionate all the time I'd have been horny all the time!!
I suppose that's why I'm no longer married lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I despair ....
Seriously , it's a swinging site and once again virtually everyone prefers a cuddle to sex on the forum .
It's small wonder so many newbies are confused when they sign up .
Go to socials , it's not instashag , be patient is the advice given .
They are then told by the forum regulars to keep posting on the forums and you will get meets .
Yep , you will - and if you're lucky you may even get a cuddle
I took it as reading what you would rather have more than what you would like from this site.
To the OP...I suppose it would depend on my mood but if I HAD to pick sex OR affection from my OH then I would pick affection."
Fair enough , I think I redressed the point about as to whether generally or from the site .
On the general level , we enjoy both with each other and since the affection is so much greater with sex together , it has to be sex |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" ....
On the general level , we enjoy both with each other and since the affection is so much greater with sex together , it has to be sex "
Does that mean that having sex with you both would heighten the experience for all..? X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Affection for me hands down, I only kissed someone the other night that lasted over an hour! The affection and emotions that came with just kissing was electric in its self.
|
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"Honestly I think a lot of us singles on here crave affection and we use sex as a vehicle to get it (sometimes). Simply because sex is far easier to find. "
Well sex with a little affection is certainly something I crave |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My daughter says I'm a awkward mood today, so in that case... I'll pick the 'hot sex' please
Hot sex followed by a hot chocolate followed by more hot sex suit you?
Yep... That'll do very nicely thankyou "
Skips work and drives straight to Portsmouth. See you in 4 hours |
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"
What I can't get my head around is those who are looking for the one on here , and want to enter into a monogamous relationship .
"
I don't know why you find that so hard to understand - this site is full of 'people like me' just using the site for sex in between monogamous relationships, probably meeting singles, swingers and couples such as yourself!! We are your cannon fodder!
I'm not actively looking for the one anywhere, I still have profiles on dating sites though, and I just 'keep my eye open' wherever I go.
It's also so much easier on here to work out who I might be sexually compatible with before meeting, cuts through all the small talk!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"...
The cuddles afterwards show that there is care and a will to look after each other, whether they're partners or one offs.
Yes, affection can be between two people who have known each other just for a few hours and will probably never see each other again
It is not the same as falling in love or being in love; it is more like caring about someone and their feelings, even if it for that short period of time"
100%. You might never see each other again, but in that moment, the people you're with are everything that could possibly exist, and all you care about is how they feel |
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"My daughter says I'm a awkward mood today, so in that case... I'll pick the 'hot sex' please
Hot sex followed by a hot chocolate followed by more hot sex suit you?
Yep... That'll do very nicely thankyou
Skips work and drives straight to Portsmouth. See you in 4 hours "
I'll put the kettle on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My daughter says I'm a awkward mood today, so in that case... I'll pick the 'hot sex' please
Hot sex followed by a hot chocolate followed by more hot sex suit you?
Yep... That'll do very nicely thankyou
Skips work and drives straight to Portsmouth. See you in 4 hours
I'll put the kettle on "
I'll be there posthaste |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Cuddles. After been single for the last six months. Didn't realise how much I had missed them. Until I spent a night with a lovely lady I met on here. Lots of great sex and cuddles in between.
Claire
XX |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Affection without sex is why there is so much infidelity on here.
Sex without affection is equally a reason for attached people to be here.
Or in my case, neither sex nor affection. I don't miss sex, but by God I miss having my hand held. And it's been ten years.
Of the two, affection wins. Sex is meaningless in itself."
Perfectly put x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Affection please, cold sex does nothing for me. I once asked a guy why he didn't kiss and cuddle me, or stroke and caress me, he said "I keep that for my girlfriend". So being on a sex site means you have to be a cold fish and not need/want all the niceties, I think not! lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Affection please, cold sex does nothing for me. I once asked a guy why he didn't kiss and cuddle me, or stroke and caress me, he said "I keep that for my girlfriend". So being on a sex site means you have to be a cold fish and not need/want all the niceties, I think not! lol"
I can understand where he's coming from, but that ain't for me. I'm not gonna kiss on the lips if someone's part of a couple, but I'll not be comfortable if there's no hugs or kisses at least |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Affection please, cold sex does nothing for me. I once asked a guy why he didn't kiss and cuddle me, or stroke and caress me, he said "I keep that for my girlfriend". So being on a sex site means you have to be a cold fish and not need/want all the niceties, I think not! lol"
That wouldn't work for me. Luckily I haven't met anyone like this and if they weren't going to kiss, cuddle or caress, it would be a no from me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok, so lets assume we all enjoy both, but which one do you prefer? Like say, if you could have it right now, would you choose to have a hot fuck, or a warm loving cuddle (as long as you like?)"
I need a cuddle before sex lol |
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