FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > how long is too long for a fb???
how long is too long for a fb???
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just wondering how long is too long?
And at what point does it turn into more?
If you have a good thing going how do you keep it that way without making a girl/guy fall in love with you???
I mean it's not as simple as walking in and fucking then going home is it?? Well least not for me but maybe that's where I've gone wrong?
When I first met this girl We was BOTH clear We did NOT want anything serious. No questions asked about seeing other people ect
We used to watch tv and have a chat, a glass of wine, spend the evening together, sometimes go out to a bar/pub. We did this a couple of times a week and it worked great.
I've been seeing this girl for just over a year. Recently she told me she's in love with me, and can't do the fb thing anymore.
Now I respect that and completely understand why she doesn't want to carry on the way we was. If I'm honest I'm probably a bit gutted.
Over the year she's grown on me, and yeah we get on great and I like her a lot but I'm not in love with her and I can't offer her what she wants.
She asked me to delete all contact info and block her on Facebook watsapp ect so she can't contact me, and I can't contact her.
I've done everything she asked me too.
I feel rubbish that im the reason she's so upset and I wish I'd noticed the signs if there was any.... she just blurted it out of nowhere!
Anyway I don't want to make the same mistake again, but at the same time it's nice to have female company to hang out with other than just sex.
I'm not sure what the answer is? Any thoughts? I'm sure there's lots of people on here that have had similar experiences???
Seems a shame we couldn't of stayed friends.
Things change I guess, maybe she's ready to meet someone for a serious relationship.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Honestly, if I were single I don't think I could meet someone repeatedly for more than a few months without developing more feelings. Unless I didn't like them, in which case I wouldn't be meeting them anyway. Being married means I can compartmentalise and there's no risk of it happening, I can completely understand how it does for single people though. |
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I've never been in that kind of relationship because it's never appealed to me but I do believe that there aren't many people who can separate sex from feelings for any length of time. I know that it's possible but I don't think you can spot the signs and I reckon the only way to avoid feelings developing is to keep it short and sweet. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Honestly, if I were single I don't think I could meet someone repeatedly for more than a few months without developing more feelings. Unless I didn't like them, in which case I wouldn't be meeting them anyway. Being married means I can compartmentalise and there's no risk of it happening, I can completely understand how it does for single people though."
So maybe a 3 month rule would work but how do you end it after the 3 months ?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honestly, if I were single I don't think I could meet someone repeatedly for more than a few months without developing more feelings. Unless I didn't like them, in which case I wouldn't be meeting them anyway. Being married means I can compartmentalise and there's no risk of it happening, I can completely understand how it does for single people though.
So maybe a 3 month rule would work but how do you end it after the 3 months ?
"
I don't know. And I don't know if a 3 month rule would be the right length of time anyway - everyone will be different. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You can pretty it up any way you want but that was a relationship.
I wonder the same because its a bit easy to get too fond of my 'friends-that-I-like-to-fuck'!
Do you really feel shit from guilt or could it be that she meant more to you than you will admit?
Maybe you didn't give it a chance- sounds like you had a good thing going there xx |
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
Did you meet anyone else ? I think twice a week for time together not just a fuck and Go Some of the time, I would say it would be inevitable that you would both develop feelings. It was more like dating than fuck buddies.
Sounds lovely....but difficult to stop the inevitable happening. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've never been in that kind of relationship because it's never appealed to me but I do believe that there aren't many people who can separate sex from feelings for any length of time. I know that it's possible but I don't think you can spot the signs and I reckon the only way to avoid feelings developing is to keep it short and sweet."
Ok so how longs to long?
And is it a discussion you have from start that it will end in 3 months or just make up some excuses? |
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"Honestly, if I were single I don't think I could meet someone repeatedly for more than a few months without developing more feelings. Unless I didn't like them, in which case I wouldn't be meeting them anyway. Being married means I can compartmentalise and there's no risk of it happening, I can completely understand how it does for single people though.
So maybe a 3 month rule would work but how do you end it after the 3 months ?
"
Start as you mean to go on maybe? Make it clear that it's very short term. I thought that these type of relationships were negotiated at the start. |
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"I've never been in that kind of relationship because it's never appealed to me but I do believe that there aren't many people who can separate sex from feelings for any length of time. I know that it's possible but I don't think you can spot the signs and I reckon the only way to avoid feelings developing is to keep it short and sweet.
Ok so how longs to long?
And is it a discussion you have from start that it will end in 3 months or just make up some excuses? "
If I were to enter into a fb relationship I would lay rules down at the start yes. No idea what length of time is ideal but that's part of the negation. |
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I'm not sure it's about the length of time. It's about the people and how they handle stuff.
I saw someone for 18 months on here but binned him when I got bored of him.
F rom her point of view she's doing the right thing. She's told you, it backfired but she's moving on quick and will be ok  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have been meeting my fb who I call my bestie for 3yrs...he's my best friend and he happens to be amazing in bed and oot of it. Of course feelings develop I love the guy to bits as a best friend. Care about him and id be there in a shot if needed and vice versa it can work oot and I guess for some it does. But if you want more than NSA then that's when it gets complicated. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You can pretty it up any way you want but that was a relationship.
I wonder the same because its a bit easy to get too fond of my 'friends-that-I-like-to-fuck'!
Do you really feel shit from guilt or could it be that she meant more to you than you will admit?
Maybe you didn't give it a chance- sounds like you had a good thing going there xx"
We made it clear from the start we didn't want a relationship.
I don't want a serious relationship, and I didn't love her just thought she was a cool person and enjoyed seeing her.
I couldn't regularly fuck a girl unless I liked them. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have been meeting my fb who I call my bestie for 3yrs...he's my best friend and he happens to be amazing in bed and oot of it. Of course feelings develop I love the guy to bits as a best friend. Care about him and id be there in a shot if needed and vice versa it can work oot and I guess for some it does. But if you want more than NSA then that's when it gets complicated."
Wow 3 years! Now that does sound like a relationship |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm not sure it's about the length of time. It's about the people and how they handle stuff.
I saw someone for 18 months on here but binned him when I got bored of him.
F rom her point of view she's doing the right thing. She's told you, it backfired but she's moving on quick and will be ok "
Binned him lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have been meeting my fb who I call my bestie for 3yrs...he's my best friend and he happens to be amazing in bed and oot of it. Of course feelings develop I love the guy to bits as a best friend. Care about him and id be there in a shot if needed and vice versa it can work oot and I guess for some it does. But if you want more than NSA then that's when it gets complicated.
Wow 3 years! Now that does sound like a relationship "
Not at all...just two people enjoying each other. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You can pretty it up any way you want but that was a relationship.
I wonder the same because its a bit easy to get too fond of my 'friends-that-I-like-to-fuck'!
Do you really feel shit from guilt or could it be that she meant more to you than you will admit?
Maybe you didn't give it a chance- sounds like you had a good thing going there xx
We made it clear from the start we didn't want a relationship.
I don't want a serious relationship, and I didn't love her just thought she was a cool person and enjoyed seeing her.
I couldn't regularly fuck a girl unless I liked them."
Obviously to start with- but she probably didn't expect to fall for you either.
Its harsh but the clean break sounds like the best option x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wonder what signals you fave out op.. Were you both meeting others?
There were two of you in this..
Phone messenger apps fine.. But fbook.. ! Big mistake.. Stepping into relationship zone. |
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By *ummersun99Woman
over a year ago
North Yorkshire by the Sea |
I've had that kinda fwb arrangement for 18mths and was fine, occasionally missed having a relationship generally so occasionally went on first dates with others, and had I met someone I wanted a relationship with, I'd have stopped the benefits.
My friend was clearly a commitmentphobe and only interested in a shallow/sexual/fun arrangement so I never saw him as boyfriend material. I think thats what made it work for me. For example I wouldn't be Interested in dating someone who couldn't enjoy being in a relationship with me or in a significant relationship generally.
.
It ended when I moved away but we are still friends and I hope we stay that way without any drama, so far we have. I feel for you and your FB, but other than suggesting you find someone who doesnt see you as boyfriend material I can't think of anything else to make it work in the future, sorry x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Honestly, if I were single I don't think I could meet someone repeatedly for more than a few months without developing more feelings. Unless I didn't like them, in which case I wouldn't be meeting them anyway. Being married means I can compartmentalise and there's no risk of it happening, I can completely understand how it does for single people though.
So maybe a 3 month rule would work but how do you end it after the 3 months ?
"
you just aren't cut out for the cut throat life of swinging having said that neither am I    |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Like others have said I don't think you can put a time limit on these things. It's about chemistry not time between two people.
Perhaps if there was longer between meets that would instantly cool things between you and a future fb?
Just seeing each other twice a month or something? I wonder if the twice a week was the problem? Perhaps that made the meets very intense and gave an environment for feelings and closeness to develop?
Also both of you fucking others would be a distraction and perhaps prevent either of you being so reliant on each other.
It's a really tricky one, and not a situation I envy. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Honestly, if I were single I don't think I could meet someone repeatedly for more than a few months without developing more feelings. Unless I didn't like them, in which case I wouldn't be meeting them anyway. Being married means I can compartmentalise and there's no risk of it happening, I can completely understand how it does for single people though.
So maybe a 3 month rule would work but how do you end it after the 3 months ?
you just aren't cut out for the cut throat life of swinging having said that neither am I "
Why?
This girl wasn't a swinger, and I was more than happy doing what we was doing. Apparently I'm a cold bastard lol |
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By *huramMan
over a year ago
London |
I had one fb for roughly four years.
We met sporadically and were never going to be in a relationship with each other because we weren't compatible in that way.
But the sex was always good.
Eventually she found a boyfriend and our time ended.
No problems or drama.
It was fun while it lasted.
I had another fb for about a year.
Eventually she left England to study back home and be close to her family.
She's married now and doing well.
But recently admitted, she thought about having a serious relationship with me but knew it wasn't what I wanted.
I told her she was right and things have worked for her since she went back home anyway.
Fuck buddies are a good time. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Like others have said I don't think you can put a time limit on these things. It's about chemistry not time between two people.
Perhaps if there was longer between meets that would instantly cool things between you and a future fb?
Just seeing each other twice a month or something? I wonder if the twice a week was the problem? Perhaps that made the meets very intense and gave an environment for feelings and closeness to develop?
Also both of you fucking others would be a distraction and perhaps prevent either of you being so reliant on each other.
It's a really tricky one, and not a situation I envy."
I was seeing other women. Just not anyone as regular as her. We never asked questions so I've no idea what she got up too |
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I thought this site was for people who want an occasional adventure with people they will never have to see again.
Bit gutted to realize it is filled with people who would meet again and again and never develop any feelings at all. Is that sad or just chilling?  Not a clue. Rethinking. |
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By *ola.Woman
over a year ago
Just where I need to be. |
I have a fwb who I have been seeing for 2 years. I don't think it is a question how long but how frequently. As soon as you are seeing each other a couple times a week then it can become more than just fbs.I do not want a relationship and what I have is a situationship when we are both free we meet up.It may be twice weekly then not for a couple of weeks.I think the world of him but just as I do a close friend. When he is with me it is just us but then when he goes I get on with my life. We text when we have something to share. It works for us. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I had one fb for roughly four years.
We met sporadically and were never going to be in a relationship with each other because we weren't compatible in that way.
But the sex was always good.
Eventually she found a boyfriend and our time ended.
No problems or drama.
It was fun while it lasted.
I had another fb for about a year.
Eventually she left England to study back home and be close to her family.
She's married now and doing well.
But recently admitted, she thought about having a serious relationship with me but knew it wasn't what I wanted.
I told her she was right and things have worked for her since she went back home anyway.
Fuck buddies are a good time. "
Yeah I agree, fuck buddies are a good time. 4 years is long though! Lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I thought this site was for people who want an occasional adventure with people they will never have to see again.
Bit gutted to realize it is filled with people who would meet again and again and never develop any feelings at all. Is that sad or just chilling? Not a clue. Rethinking. "
I didn't meet her online, and I have met other women elsewhere for occasional adventures as you put it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have a fwb who I have been seeing for 2 years. I don't think it is a question how long but how frequently. As soon as you are seeing each other a couple times a week then it can become more than just fbs.I do not want a relationship and what I have is a situationship when we are both free we meet up.It may be twice weekly then not for a couple of weeks.I think the world of him but just as I do a close friend. When he is with me it is just us but then when he goes I get on with my life. We text when we have something to share. It works for us."
Yeah your right, we see eachother twice a week and txt most days so thats probably too much |
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By *huramMan
over a year ago
London |
"I had one fb for roughly four years.
We met sporadically and were never going to be in a relationship with each other because we weren't compatible in that way.
But the sex was always good.
Eventually she found a boyfriend and our time ended.
No problems or drama.
It was fun while it lasted.
I had another fb for about a year.
Eventually she left England to study back home and be close to her family.
She's married now and doing well.
But recently admitted, she thought about having a serious relationship with me but knew it wasn't what I wanted.
I told her she was right and things have worked for her since she went back home anyway.
Fuck buddies are a good time.
Yeah I agree, fuck buddies are a good time. 4 years is long though! Lol"
Our meets were spread out randomly.
If I were to average them it would work out as maybe once every two months. |
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By *huramMan
over a year ago
London |
"I thought this site was for people who want an occasional adventure with people they will never have to see again.
Bit gutted to realize it is filled with people who would meet again and again and never develop any feelings at all. Is that sad or just chilling? Not a clue. Rethinking. "
It's neither sad or chilling.
Use the site as you wish to use it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Everyone is different. You can't put a general time frame on it. For me, if I was single, I'd be fucking useless at this, because for me sex is a really act.
Even 5 years ago I couldn't have the emotional maturity to meet ladies without developing inappropriate feelings.
I really don't know how singles do thus to be honest  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"She is right to ask you to cut all ties. I have been in that position and it is too hard to just stay friends, however well intentioned."
Absolutely, I agreed said bye and did what she asked |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Everyone is different. You can't put a general time frame on it. For me, if I was single, I'd be fucking useless at this, because for me sex is a really act.
Even 5 years ago I couldn't have the emotional maturity to meet ladies without developing inappropriate feelings.
I really don't know how singles do thus to be honest "
*a really intimate act. |
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"Honestly, if I were single I don't think I could meet someone repeatedly for more than a few months without developing more feelings. Unless I didn't like them, in which case I wouldn't be meeting them anyway. Being married means I can compartmentalise and there's no risk of it happening, I can completely understand how it does for single people though."
I'm good at compartmentalising too. I have a fuckbuddy and we made an agreement the first time we met that she would meet others and so would I and we wouldn't do anything in between meets. As far as I'm concerned it's just recreational sex. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I had one fb for roughly four years.
We met sporadically and were never going to be in a relationship with each other because we weren't compatible in that way.
But the sex was always good.
Eventually she found a boyfriend and our time ended.
No problems or drama.
It was fun while it lasted.
I had another fb for about a year.
Eventually she left England to study back home and be close to her family.
She's married now and doing well.
But recently admitted, she thought about having a serious relationship with me but knew it wasn't what I wanted.
I told her she was right and things have worked for her since she went back home anyway.
Fuck buddies are a good time.
Yeah I agree, fuck buddies are a good time. 4 years is long though! Lol
Our meets were spread out randomly.
If I were to average them it would work out as maybe once every two months. "
That makes sense then mate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Everyone is different. You can't put a general time frame on it. For me, if I was single, I'd be fucking useless at this, because for me sex is a really act.
Even 5 years ago I couldn't have the emotional maturity to meet ladies without developing inappropriate feelings.
I really don't know how singles do thus to be honest
*a really intimate act. "
*this
... I can't blame the autocorrect. I'm just not fucking looking at what I'm writing! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Everyone is different. You can't put a general time frame on it. For me, if I was single, I'd be fucking useless at this, because for me sex is a really act.
Even 5 years ago I couldn't have the emotional maturity to meet ladies without developing inappropriate feelings.
I really don't know how singles do thus to be honest "
I've been called a cold bastard before.... can't win! Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't normally blurt out my personal stuff on here but how about 22 years! We both know what it is, both have boundaries and don't cross them. I was 19 and we instantly hit it off. We have been through thick & thin, cried, laughed, had amazing fun and still rely on each other as best mates. It is possible to have this but our 1 rule.... Communication! It's key! It can be done and I will always have my special friend in my life no matter what!
I'll stop ramling on now.... |
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"I thought this site was for people who want an occasional adventure with people they will never have to see again.
Bit gutted to realize it is filled with people who would meet again and again and never develop any feelings at all. Is that sad or just chilling? Not a clue. Rethinking. "
Actually, I was pleasantly surprised to discover 'regulars' and love meeting the same people again and again - although the time period between can be quite lengthy sometimes. I don't develop any love feelings for them just sexual feelings for when I'm with them. |
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"I really don't know how singles do thus to be honest "
I find it easy. Though it has been said, by those that genuinely know me well, that I enjoy Fab and meeting young guys fro sex because I am actually petrified of ending up in a bad relationship again  |
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By *ola.Woman
over a year ago
Just where I need to be. |
"Everyone is different. You can't put a general time frame on it. For me, if I was single, I'd be fucking useless at this, because for me sex is a really act.
Even 5 years ago I couldn't have the emotional maturity to meet ladies without developing inappropriate feelings.
I really don't know how singles do thus to be honest "
I don't think this is just single issue many people whether single or married get attached. It is about being honest with yourself and actually knowing what you really want.There is nothing wrong with allowing yourself to have feelings for someone but it is about the depth of those feelings. It isn't easy but with open communication it can work. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Regulars / FBs offer so much more breadth and scope to play than single one-off. This is especially true with BDSM and other kinky-fuckery, where limits and trust and SSC play are (for me) things which develop with time.
I would say that (for some) strings of one-offs can be as psychologically damaging as getting emotionally entangled.
Just my 1 cents worth. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honestly, if I were single I don't think I could meet someone repeatedly for more than a few months without developing more feelings. Unless I didn't like them, in which case I wouldn't be meeting them anyway. Being married means I can compartmentalise and there's no risk of it happening, I can completely understand how it does for single people though.
I'm good at compartmentalising too. I have a fuckbuddy and we made an agreement the first time we met that she would meet others and so would I and we wouldn't do anything in between meets. As far as I'm concerned it's just recreational sex. "
Whilst I do believe attatched people are good at compartmentalising nothing is foolproof, feelings can sneak up on you when you least expect them to.
In my experience the longer the arrangement goes on with the frequency of meetings intensifying the higher the risk but hey thats only my opinion. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't normally blurt out my personal stuff on here but how about 22 years! We both know what it is, both have boundaries and don't cross them. I was 19 and we instantly hit it off. We have been through thick & thin, cried, laughed, had amazing fun and still rely on each other as best mates. It is possible to have this but our 1 rule.... Communication! It's key! It can be done and I will always have my special friend in my life no matter what!
I'll stop ramling on now.... "
And we have a winner! |
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By *ummersun99Woman
over a year ago
North Yorkshire by the Sea |
"I really don't know how singles do thus to be honest
I find it easy. Though it has been said, by those that genuinely know me well, that I enjoy Fab and meeting young guys fro sex because I am actually petrified of ending up in a bad relationship again "
I've also found it easy, as I'd rather be single with a fwb than in a relationship with chevron person for the sake of it, and my fwb wasn't date material. But he has been a good mate rather than a shag&go fb, though he never really met my other friends, or got involved in my life, e.g. attending my Birthday meal, etc.
Don't see why it's chilling or sad, some people don't want to be in relationships which is totally okay, and others might but haven't met someone compatible so are just having fun in the mean time x |
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By *ummersun99Woman
over a year ago
North Yorkshire by the Sea |
"Regulars / FBs offer so much more breadth and scope to play than single one-off. This is especially true with BDSM and other kinky-fuckery, where limits and trust and SSC play are (for me) things which develop with time.
I would say that (for some) strings of one-offs can be as psychologically damaging as getting emotionally entangled. "
Totally agree with this for me too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Everyone is different. You can't put a general time frame on it. For me, if I was single, I'd be fucking useless at this, because for me sex is a really act.
Even 5 years ago I couldn't have the emotional maturity to meet ladies without developing inappropriate feelings.
I really don't know how singles do thus to be honest
I don't think this is just single issue many people whether single or married get attached. It is about being honest with yourself and actually knowing what you really want.There is nothing wrong with allowing yourself to have feelings for someone but it is about the depth of those feelings. It isn't easy but with open communication it can work."
It is for me - being married and in love with a person already means I don't have the capacity available to be able to develop inappropriate feelings for anyone else. I don't have the space in my heart or brain because there just isn't room. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't normally blurt out my personal stuff on here but how about 22 years! We both know what it is, both have boundaries and don't cross them. I was 19 and we instantly hit it off. We have been through thick & thin, cried, laughed, had amazing fun and still rely on each other as best mates. It is possible to have this but our 1 rule.... Communication! It's key! It can be done and I will always have my special friend in my life no matter what!
I'll stop ramling on now....
And we have a winner! "
More like a life sentence ha ha (thanks though!)  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't normally blurt out my personal stuff on here but how about 22 years! We both know what it is, both have boundaries and don't cross them. I was 19 and we instantly hit it off. We have been through thick & thin, cried, laughed, had amazing fun and still rely on each other as best mates. It is possible to have this but our 1 rule.... Communication! It's key! It can be done and I will always have my special friend in my life no matter what!
I'll stop ramling on now....
And we have a winner!
More like a life sentence ha ha (thanks though!) "
Don't ask me what the prize is though!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Regulars / FBs offer so much more breadth and scope to play than single one-off. This is especially true with BDSM and other kinky-fuckery, where limits and trust and SSC play are (for me) things which develop with time.
I would say that (for some) strings of one-offs can be as psychologically damaging as getting emotionally entangled.
Just my 1 cents worth. "
Totally agree.. |
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By *ola.Woman
over a year ago
Just where I need to be. |
"Everyone is different. You can't put a general time frame on it. For me, if I was single, I'd be fucking useless at this, because for me sex is a really act.
Even 5 years ago I couldn't have the emotional maturity to meet ladies without developing inappropriate feelings.
I really don't know how singles do thus to be honest
I don't think this is just single issue many people whether single or married get attached. It is about being honest with yourself and actually knowing what you really want.There is nothing wrong with allowing yourself to have feelings for someone but it is about the depth of those feelings. It isn't easy but with open communication it can work.
It is for me - being married and in love with a person already means I don't have the capacity available to be able to develop inappropriate feelings for anyone else. I don't have the space in my heart or brain because there just isn't room. "
That is why I wrote about depth of feelings. We all have our own boundaries of what we can and allow ourselves to feel. |
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Not really anything to do with the site, but I do hope being here brings you many more meaningless but enjoyable workouts.
As to your question, how long is too long, why not run about 3 at once? Fairer on all concerned. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Not really anything to do with the site, but I do hope being here brings you many more meaningless but enjoyable workouts.
As to your question, how long is too long, why not run about 3 at once? Fairer on all concerned. "
99% of the threads on fabs have nothing to do with the site  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dunno... I've had a fuck buddy for fifteen years. Actually probably longer but we have an understanding. It is possible. "
you class yer dildo as a fuck buddy!?...jeez yer sad n lonely x lets shag x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I dunno... I've had a fuck buddy for fifteen years. Actually probably longer but we have an understanding. It is possible.
you class yer dildo as a fuck buddy!?...jeez yer sad n lonely x lets shag x"
Is it called Bob?
Battery operated boyfriend |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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She wasn't a swinger! There's the catch right there. Non swingers don't know how to compartmentalise. I have long swinging relationships with other swingers. They are never going to fall in love with me because we can all differentiate between love and sex. If you want another fb, make sure she's a swinger else you end up both getting hurt again x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"She wasn't a swinger! There's the catch right there. Non swingers don't know how to compartmentalise. I have long swinging relationships with other swingers. They are never going to fall in love with me because we can all differentiate between love and sex. If you want another fb, make sure she's a swinger else you end up both getting hurt again x"
I don't generally meet swingers in my local bars and pubs but yes you could be right. Maybe i should start making an effort to actually meet someone from fabs .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"She wasn't a swinger! There's the catch right there. Non swingers don't know how to compartmentalise. I have long swinging relationships with other swingers. They are never going to fall in love with me because we can all differentiate between love and sex. If you want another fb, make sure she's a swinger else you end up both getting hurt again x"
See I disagree there. Sometimes no matter what your mind set, if you click... Then you click. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Meet someone who's already in a relationship that way they probably wouldn't fall for you?"
Oh my god don't do this. The heart often wants what it can't have even more. It hurts being the other person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The mere fact that you have written a to,e regarding this lady who fell for you would indicate to me that you actually did have feelings for her.
You reap what you sow, and if you've to,d her you enjoy her company and have always looked forward to seeing here, then why are you surprised she fell for you
Having been in this situation, I'd give her time to come to terms with the fact that you don't feel the same, maybe like me and my ex , we are now friends, no he would go out of his way to help me, but is letting me lead my own life.
I don't give a damn if this a swingers site and you're supposed to have emotionless sex on here... We're all just human at the end of the day
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"She wasn't a swinger! There's the catch right there. Non swingers don't know how to compartmentalise. I have long swinging relationships with other swingers. They are never going to fall in love with me because we can all differentiate between love and sex. If you want another fb, make sure she's a swinger else you end up both getting hurt again x
See I disagree there. Sometimes no matter what your mind set, if you click... Then you click. "
Huge difference between clicking and falling in love with someone: I couldn't meet someone I hadn't connected with. |
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By *huramMan
over a year ago
London |
"The mere fact that you have written a to,e regarding this lady who fell for you would indicate to me that you actually did have feelings for her.
You reap what you sow, and if you've to,d her you enjoy her company and have always looked forward to seeing here, then why are you surprised she fell for you
Having been in this situation, I'd give her time to come to terms with the fact that you don't feel the same, maybe like me and my ex , we are now friends, no he would go out of his way to help me, but is letting me lead my own life.
I don't give a damn if this a swingers site and you're supposed to have emotionless sex on here... We're all just human at the end of the day
"
The fella hasn't done anything wrong.
Not a thing.
In fact, because he treated her well, this is one of the reasons why she fell for him.
They both agreed, like adults, that this was a sex and fun only relationship.
She decided she wanted more.
He doesn't want more and that is his right.
They have now severed contact which is for the best.
He isn't in the wrong.
And neither is she.
They haven't hurt each other.
The relationship ran its course.
No need for anyone to be portrayed as the good guy or bad guy in this scenario. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The mere fact that you have written a to,e regarding this lady who fell for you would indicate to me that you actually did have feelings for her.
You reap what you sow, and if you've to,d her you enjoy her company and have always looked forward to seeing here, then why are you surprised she fell for you
Having been in this situation, I'd give her time to come to terms with the fact that you don't feel the same, maybe like me and my ex , we are now friends, no he would go out of his way to help me, but is letting me lead my own life.
I don't give a damn if this a swingers site and you're supposed to have emotionless sex on here... We're all just human at the end of the day
"
I don't have feelings for her in a romantic way. I like her as a person and got to know her so yeah I feel guilty I'm the reason she's so upset, and I'm gutted its over cause we had amazing sex and had a good laugh.
I posted a thread cause I'm interested in what others have to say about there experiences. Why not?
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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago
Chippenham Malmesbury area |
I met a woman briefly in a hotel lobby, we chatted and exchanged numbers;as we live a few hundred miles apart we chatted on the phone about 3 days a week for about 10 mins each call. After about 9 months we met again and ended up having sex;straight afterwards she told me she loved me and when I didn't give the expected answer she burst into tears.
My point is, that preventing a casual relationship from developing into an emotional one can't be done by setting time limits or by restricting the activities you enjoy together; lust can turn to love without warning or effort.
The only way to avoid it is not to enter into a relationship that could grow - finding sexual partners on sites like fab helps to define the parameters of the relationship from the start;its only when you stray outside of these that the risk of an emotional relationship developing increases dramatically. |
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"Just wondering how long is too long?
And at what point does it turn into more?
If you have a good thing going how do you keep it that way without making a girl/guy fall in love with you???
I mean it's not as simple as walking in and fucking then going home is it?? Well least not for me but maybe that's where I've gone wrong?
When I first met this girl We was BOTH clear We did NOT want anything serious. No questions asked about seeing other people ect
We used to watch tv and have a chat, a glass of wine, spend the evening together, sometimes go out to a bar/pub. We did this a couple of times a week and it worked great.
I've been seeing this girl for just over a year. Recently she told me she's in love with me, and can't do the fb thing anymore.
Now I respect that and completely understand why she doesn't want to carry on the way we was. If I'm honest I'm probably a bit gutted.
Over the year she's grown on me, and yeah we get on great and I like her a lot but I'm not in love with her and I can't offer her what she wants.
She asked me to delete all contact info and block her on Facebook watsapp ect so she can't contact me, and I can't contact her.
I've done everything she asked me too.
I feel rubbish that im the reason she's so upset and I wish I'd noticed the signs if there was any.... she just blurted it out of nowhere!
Anyway I don't want to make the same mistake again, but at the same time it's nice to have female company to hang out with other than just sex.
I'm not sure what the answer is? Any thoughts? I'm sure there's lots of people on here that have had similar experiences???
Seems a shame we couldn't of stayed friends.
Things change I guess, maybe she's ready to meet someone for a serious relationship.
"
I had a reg twice a week fuck bud for 8 years, mind we didnt do the pubs/dinners/cosy nights in infront of the tv, we arranged dates, times, met, fuck and went our separate ways until the next meet date. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"She wasn't a swinger! There's the catch right there. Non swingers don't know how to compartmentalise. I have long swinging relationships with other swingers. They are never going to fall in love with me because we can all differentiate between love and sex. If you want another fb, make sure she's a swinger else you end up both getting hurt again x
See I disagree there. Sometimes no matter what your mind set, if you click... Then you click.
Huge difference between clicking and falling in love with someone: I couldn't meet someone I hadn't connected with. "
There is and I should have said you can't pick and choose when And If you get feelings. Done this lifestyle for a long time... Fallen once...
But then I barely know most people I meet and often in a club situation wouldn't even know a name.
It's different now we are a couple but even then I wouldn't want regular play partners x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The mere fact that you have written a to,e regarding this lady who fell for you would indicate to me that you actually did have feelings for her.
You reap what you sow, and if you've to,d her you enjoy her company and have always looked forward to seeing here, then why are you surprised she fell for you
Having been in this situation, I'd give her time to come to terms with the fact that you don't feel the same, maybe like me and my ex , we are now friends, no he would go out of his way to help me, but is letting me lead my own life.
I don't give a damn if this a swingers site and you're supposed to have emotionless sex on here... We're all just human at the end of the day
The fella hasn't done anything wrong.
Not a thing.
In fact, because he treated her well, this is one of the reasons why she fell for him.
They both agreed, like adults, that this was a sex and fun only relationship.
She decided she wanted more.
He doesn't want more and that is his right.
They have now severed contact which is for the best.
He isn't in the wrong.
And neither is she.
They haven't hurt each other.
The relationship ran its course.
No need for anyone to be portrayed as the good guy or bad guy in this scenario. "
Cheers buddy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm on here with a fb and we're friends .he's proberly one of my closest friends .neither want a relationship but have said if either does with someone else it's fine. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My fuck buddies are just sexual relationships. I've been seeing two of them for 5 and a half years; 1 I see a couple of times a month,1 a couple of times a year. I have a friendlier relationship with the one I see less. It's not emotionless sex but we will never have feelings for each other and neither are from here or swingers. I've been in love,I have no desire for it again. |
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By *ummersun99Woman
over a year ago
North Yorkshire by the Sea |
"She wasn't a swinger! There's the catch right there. Non swingers don't know how to compartmentalise. I have long swinging relationships with other swingers. They are never going to fall in love with me because we can all differentiate between love and sex. If you want another fb, make sure she's a swinger else you end up both getting hurt again x
I don't generally meet swingers in my local bars and pubs but yes you could be right. Maybe i should start making an effort to actually meet someone from fabs .
"
Easier to be clear when meeting here |
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By *annooWoman
over a year ago
Hastings |
I was in what I thot was a fuck buddy relationship for 2 n a half years. He meet someone. It broke my heart.
Also got corrected on here by being told what I had was a friends with benefits because we saw each other two plus times a week, meet each others friends n family n went on holiday together
Either way I fell he didn't....
We agreed we were in a fuck buddy thing we made rules including seeing other people n being open n honest about it...he had 6 one nighters in that time I had 2.
However we are still amazing friends now, we dnt hang out because his gf isn't as open minded enough to let us. But she doesn't mind we have contract, we call n txt often still....
These situations are hard tbh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Aye it can be a minefield if one or both parties aren't clear about what they want and are willing to give of themselves....regularly throughout the arrangement/relationship.
I say relationship because over the course of more than a year you saw each other twice a week n did stuff most couples do...watch tv,go out for a drink/meal etc.
It depends how emotionally intimate you were with each other and I might be wrong here.....but I think she should have said something at the first signs of her falling for you(call it a gut feeling but I'd bet she didn't!)
You don't just go from being fwb to falling in love overnight without any telltale signs or differences in how you interact with each other....I think?
Hey what the fuck do I know anyway! Good luck! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"She wasn't a swinger! There's the catch right there. Non swingers don't know how to compartmentalise. I have long swinging relationships with other swingers. They are never going to fall in love with me because we can all differentiate between love and sex. If you want another fb, make sure she's a swinger else you end up both getting hurt again x
I don't generally meet swingers in my local bars and pubs but yes you could be right. Maybe i should start making an effort to actually meet someone from fabs .
"
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I didn't meet her family and friends! Sod that!
Obviously I would of questioned things if she suggested we did lol
We met in a bar, so seemed silly that we wouldn't have a drink now and then. We didn't go for meals.
Twice a week we had sex and hung out. That was the deal from the start. She wanted a fuck buddie but not someone that was wam bam thank you mam!
We didnt do anything differently from the first couple of weeks we met. We discussed what we both wanted and didn't want.
I guess all that changed is we got to know eachother and she let her emotions get in the way. I was quite happy doing what we was doing.
Like has been mentioned above she is vanilla, and maybe I should find a fuck buddie who is a swinger.
I will keep an eye out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I didn't meet her family and friends! Sod that!
Obviously I would of questioned things if she suggested we did lol
We met in a bar, so seemed silly that we wouldn't have a drink now and then. We didn't go for meals.
Twice a week we had sex and hung out. That was the deal from the start. She wanted a fuck buddie but not someone that was wam bam thank you mam!
We didnt do anything differently from the first couple of weeks we met. We discussed what we both wanted and didn't want.
I guess all that changed is we got to know eachother and she let her emotions get in the way. I was quite happy doing what we was doing.
Like has been mentioned above she is vanilla, and maybe I should find a fuck buddie who is a swinger.
I will keep an eye out "
Call me old fashioned but what you've described above is borderline relationship, twice a week, hanging out together.
Like I said earlier the frequency of meeting may change the dynamics more than the length of time. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I didn't meet her family and friends! Sod that!
Obviously I would of questioned things if she suggested we did lol
We met in a bar, so seemed silly that we wouldn't have a drink now and then. We didn't go for meals.
Twice a week we had sex and hung out. That was the deal from the start. She wanted a fuck buddie but not someone that was wam bam thank you mam!
We didnt do anything differently from the first couple of weeks we met. We discussed what we both wanted and didn't want.
I guess all that changed is we got to know eachother and she let her emotions get in the way. I was quite happy doing what we was doing.
Like has been mentioned above she is vanilla, and maybe I should find a fuck buddie who is a swinger.
I will keep an eye out
Call me old fashioned but what you've described above is borderline relationship, twice a week, hanging out together.
Like I said earlier the frequency of meeting may change the dynamics more than the length of time."
I disagree, but can see your point.
We didn't stay up late having long conversations or plan a future, we didnt talk about things that mattered. We didnt make love, we didn't talk about our past. We didn't ask each other for advice.
I wasn't someone she come to when sad, and never acted in a romantic way. I didn't ever surprise her or do anything thoughtful.
For me a relationship is different, but maybe that's just me.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just wondering how long is too long?
And at what point does it turn into more?
If you have a good thing going how do you keep it that way without making a girl/guy fall in love with you???
I mean it's not as simple as walking in and fucking then going home is it?? Well least not for me but maybe that's where I've gone wrong?
When I first met this girl We was BOTH clear We did NOT want anything serious. No questions asked about seeing other people ect
We used to watch tv and have a chat, a glass of wine, spend the evening together, sometimes go out to a bar/pub. We did this a couple of times a week and it worked great.
I've been seeing this girl for just over a year. Recently she told me she's in love with me, and can't do the fb thing anymore.
Now I respect that and completely understand why she doesn't want to carry on the way we was. If I'm honest I'm probably a bit gutted.
Over the year she's grown on me, and yeah we get on great and I like her a lot but I'm not in love with her and I can't offer her what she wants.
She asked me to delete all contact info and block her on Facebook watsapp ect so she can't contact me, and I can't contact her.
I've done everything she asked me too.
I feel rubbish that im the reason she's so upset and I wish I'd noticed the signs if there was any.... she just blurted it out of nowhere!
Anyway I don't want to make the same mistake again, but at the same time it's nice to have female company to hang out with other than just sex.
I'm not sure what the answer is? Any thoughts? I'm sure there's lots of people on here that have had similar experiences???
Seems a shame we couldn't of stayed friends.
Things change I guess, maybe she's ready to meet someone for a serious relationship.
"
16.5 inches is probably too long |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Everyone is different. You can't put a general time frame on it. For me, if I was single, I'd be fucking useless at this, because for me sex is a really act.
Even 5 years ago I couldn't have the emotional maturity to meet ladies without developing inappropriate feelings.
I really don't know how singles do thus to be honest
I don't think this is just single issue many people whether single or married get attached. It is about being honest with yourself and actually knowing what you really want.There is nothing wrong with allowing yourself to have feelings for someone but it is about the depth of those feelings. It isn't easy but with open communication it can work.
It is for me - being married and in love with a person already means I don't have the capacity available to be able to develop inappropriate feelings for anyone else. I don't have the space in my heart or brain because there just isn't room. "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I didn't meet her family and friends! Sod that!
Obviously I would of questioned things if she suggested we did lol
We met in a bar, so seemed silly that we wouldn't have a drink now and then. We didn't go for meals.
Twice a week we had sex and hung out. That was the deal from the start. She wanted a fuck buddie but not someone that was wam bam thank you mam!
We didnt do anything differently from the first couple of weeks we met. We discussed what we both wanted and didn't want.
I guess all that changed is we got to know eachother and she let her emotions get in the way. I was quite happy doing what we was doing.
Like has been mentioned above she is vanilla, and maybe I should find a fuck buddie who is a swinger.
I will keep an eye out
Call me old fashioned but what you've described above is borderline relationship, twice a week, hanging out together.
Like I said earlier the frequency of meeting may change the dynamics more than the length of time.
I disagree, but can see your point.
We didn't stay up late having long conversations or plan a future, we didnt talk about things that mattered. We didnt make love, we didn't talk about our past. We didn't ask each other for advice.
I wasn't someone she come to when sad, and never acted in a romantic way. I didn't ever surprise her or do anything thoughtful.
For me a relationship is different, but maybe that's just me.
"
Okay fair point re relationships but what you have described is not my idea of a fuck buddy arrangement, seems more full on. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I didn't meet her family and friends! Sod that!
Obviously I would of questioned things if she suggested we did lol
We met in a bar, so seemed silly that we wouldn't have a drink now and then. We didn't go for meals.
Twice a week we had sex and hung out. That was the deal from the start. She wanted a fuck buddie but not someone that was wam bam thank you mam!
We didnt do anything differently from the first couple of weeks we met. We discussed what we both wanted and didn't want.
I guess all that changed is we got to know eachother and she let her emotions get in the way. I was quite happy doing what we was doing.
Like has been mentioned above she is vanilla, and maybe I should find a fuck buddie who is a swinger.
I will keep an eye out
Call me old fashioned but what you've described above is borderline relationship, twice a week, hanging out together.
Like I said earlier the frequency of meeting may change the dynamics more than the length of time.
I disagree, but can see your point.
We didn't stay up late having long conversations or plan a future, we didnt talk about things that mattered. We didnt make love, we didn't talk about our past. We didn't ask each other for advice.
I wasn't someone she come to when sad, and never acted in a romantic way. I didn't ever surprise her or do anything thoughtful.
For me a relationship is different, but maybe that's just me.
Okay fair point re relationships but what you have described is not my idea of a fuck buddy arrangement, seems more full on."
Didn't feel full on for me, it was a good little arrangement until she started having feelings.
Anyway I'm sure she will be over it in a few weeks.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"In my earlier years i had a 3 meet rule as i wasnt mature enough to deal with it..
so no more than 3 meets "
What gives you the impression I'm immature?
Pinocchio |
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Several years ago I had a regular FB
But we would only meet on nights that we were going to have sex with each other or sex with another couple
In the meantime we both went out with other people although neither of us were in a relationship
After about 18 months she told me she had met someone so we couldn't continue. It was all very grown up and civilised but I have to admit I missed seeing her and not just for the sex. If I could offer you any advice keep your FB as just that someone you fuck occasionally |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"In my earlier years i had a 3 meet rule as i wasnt mature enough to deal with it..
so no more than 3 meets
What gives you the impression I'm immature?
Pinocchio "
lol no wasnt about the man,, was on about myself being immature. I used to fall for guys all the time and became emotionally attatched.. grown up since |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"In my earlier years i had a 3 meet rule as i wasnt mature enough to deal with it..
so no more than 3 meets
What gives you the impression I'm immature?
Pinocchio
lol no wasnt about the man,, was on about myself being immature. I used to fall for guys all the time and became emotionally attatched.. grown up since "
I know you was, obviously I'm very mature..... just take a look at my profile pic |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Bloody el, no wonder she fell in love
Woman, I only fucked her twice a week!
That's the same amount as the average married couple.....;-)"
JESUS I pitty my future wife!
I want it at least twice a day minimum! |
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