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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've noticed that on a lot of threads people are requesting actions but I wonder how many actually go out and seek them. If you post on the dating thread are you approaching people? If you do face pic Friday, do you send messages?
I wonder how many people actually go out and engage the world or sit back and hope for it to land gift wrapped in their lap.
Is it the fear of failure or rejection or just laziness? Thoughts please |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On FPF I used to be proactive, now mainly 'in' but passive unless someone exceptional takes my eye.
On other threads it's a mix depending on who's on. Some you win, some you lose - sometimes it's better to admire from afar than say hello but crash and burn, other times you could miss out if you sat there and said nowt.
How about you OP?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"On FPF I used to be proactive, now mainly 'in' but passive unless someone exceptional takes my eye.
On other threads it's a mix depending on who's on. Some you win, some you lose - sometimes it's better to admire from afar than say hello but crash and burn, other times you could miss out if you sat there and said nowt.
How about you OP?
"
I always make attempts to contact and put myself out there. Passivity gets you nowhere |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've noticed that on a lot of threads people are requesting actions but I wonder how many actually go out and seek them. If you post on the dating thread are you approaching people? If you do face pic Friday, do you send messages?
I wonder how many people actually go out and engage the world or sit back and hope for it to land gift wrapped in their lap.
Is it the fear of failure or rejection or just laziness? Thoughts please"
I will participate in sending messages of someone takes my fancy  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'll always take part and approach what's the point of just saying I'm in and sitting back doing nothing about it "
Exactly but some people do though |
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Many people get into reinforcing patterns that compound their problem situations still more - self perpetuated vicious circles.
Our behaviors and habits were used once for a purpose, and get repeated. All that we do is purposeful, with the purpose often outside of our conscious awareness. They don't get created with use-by dates though. And so they typically get used long past their relevance to us. It's not mindless, just that our brains are highly efficient organs, so we reuse everything, to keep efforts at a minimum.
So to the ops question. People have an inbuilt biological resistance to new patterns - they use even more brain power. If our old patterns are something that we identify with, then challenging them is like challenging our existence. So we resist, much of it again outside of our awareness. It's often the reason that we sabotage our results. And that's only if we get around to trying something new - we often just resist. Using inner arguments or distorting evidence that might contradict what we have believed to be true.
We also often feel uncomfortable if we're potentially wrong about something. So we then get led by our feelings, rather than common sense or logic. If someone then just resists, even if they keep quiet about it, they're less likely to follow through.
So you get lots of experienced users giving the benefit of their experience here, or just speaking about their personal preferences. Like a female saying she'd ignore a profile with mainly cock pics to a guy posting that he's not getting meets buy has a nice cock.
Ultimately we all know that when we're not motivated to do something, we don't either do it, or we don't invest sufficiently when we're doing it - we're a bit half arsed etc. Some posters aren't asking for help, they have other motives - including presenting a question that's a whinge in disguise, or to prove that they're right and everyone else is wrong. We don't know them and they're less than honest - perhaps even with themselves.
And some people just want to be rescued. The forum post provides an easy opportunity for trying that.
Not all is what it appears to be. |
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By *educedWoman
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"I've noticed that on a lot of threads people are requesting actions but I wonder how many actually go out and seek them. If you post on the dating thread are you approaching people? If you do face pic Friday, do you send messages?
I wonder how many people actually go out and engage the world or sit back and hope for it to land gift wrapped in their lap.
Is it the fear of failure or rejection or just laziness? Thoughts please"
I can't be bothered to give you my thoughts |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Many people get into reinforcing patterns that compound their problem situations still more - self perpetuated vicious circles.
Our behaviors and habits were used once for a purpose, and get repeated. All that we do is purposeful, with the purpose often outside of our conscious awareness. They don't get created with use-by dates though. And so they typically get used long past their relevance to us. It's not mindless, just that our brains are highly efficient organs, so we reuse everything, to keep efforts at a minimum.
So to the ops question. People have an inbuilt biological resistance to new patterns - they use even more brain power. If our old patterns are something that we identify with, then challenging them is like challenging our existence. So we resist, much of it again outside of our awareness. It's often the reason that we sabotage our results. And that's only if we get around to trying something new - we often just resist. Using inner arguments or distorting evidence that might contradict what we have believed to be true.
We also often feel uncomfortable if we're potentially wrong about something. So we then get led by our feelings, rather than common sense or logic. If someone then just resists, even if they keep quiet about it, they're less likely to follow through.
So you get lots of experienced users giving the benefit of their experience here, or just speaking about their personal preferences. Like a female saying she'd ignore a profile with mainly cock pics to a guy posting that he's not getting meets buy has a nice cock.
Ultimately we all know that when we're not motivated to do something, we don't either do it, or we don't invest sufficiently when we're doing it - we're a bit half arsed etc. Some posters aren't asking for help, they have other motives - including presenting a question that's a whinge in disguise, or to prove that they're right and everyone else is wrong. We don't know them and they're less than honest - perhaps even with themselves.
And some people just want to be rescued. The forum post provides an easy opportunity for trying that.
Not all is what it appears to be."
Can you squish all that into 1 paragraph please. It's too much for my brain to digest. |
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Destiny - I started writing at a cafe this morning and finished it this afternoon - I have a really bad headache, so struggling, and no chance for me to consolidate it. I probably said some of it twice too. I'm going to rest my eyes, as I'm having a tough one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Destiny - I started writing at a cafe this morning and finished it this afternoon - I have a really bad headache, so struggling, and no chance for me to consolidate it. I probably said some of it twice too. I'm going to rest my eyes, as I'm having a tough one."
I'll read one paragraph an hour and take notes. |
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