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The difference between men and women
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ok so looking at all the forum posts and the % of male messages against female messages why the massive difference?
Lots of guys openly say they are cheating on their girls but very few ladies post the same. If we put a meet up today we get say 30 men , 2 or 3 couple but no single ladies.
Why do you think the males are so predominant on here? Do they have a higher sex drive than most women or do they have a lot less morals? I do understand some guys are genuinely single but it's still no where near 50-50 with ladies. Where do the single ladies go? So my question really is why the massive difference in numbers? |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
I don't reply to meet today requests. I prefer to spend a little time getting to know people on chat first.
As a single lady, safety and my sense of security comes first - and a spontaneous, last minute meet does not cover that adequately for me. I chat, get to know people on line, then arrange a social, and then see where it goes. I don't care if people think this is time wasting, its a process that works for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it is pretty clear that women in society are less likely to want sex without a relationship. I think that is just the way it is. Both because of their own preferences (for family, etc) and because of society's standards.
It does worry me that you think more men are on here because they "have less morals." I mean, what does that say about your opinion of the people on here? Really? Does that mean the women on here have less morals than other women, too? That type of language baffles me.
-Courtney |
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I don't know if there is a massive difference in numbers, I just think there's a massive difference between the way we do things.
The majority of moaning threads about not meeting anyone are from men. In the meantime, the women are off meeting the people they choose, most likely the ones who aren't moaning day in day out. There's nothing attractive about whinging. 
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
Ooops pressed reply too soon.
I think the difference is still that there is a worry about slut-shaming. Men are often seen as jack-the-lads and studs, whereas women are seen as whores and sluts (both of which I have been called for being on here, and worse)
Do men have higher sex drives? I'm not sure. I have an exceptionally high drive, but I need something more than a passing liaison to satisfy my needs, so prefer to get to know someone. I do have a lover, and he often says he has never met someone with such a high sex-drive. I think perhaps men are just more open about their physical requirements. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Courtney, you miss quoted! Please read back. I asked do they have less morals. That's a question not a statement. Please don't troll this post! It's an honest question of why are there so many men and so few women and what people think the reason for this is as I believe the uk population is 51% female and 49% make so how come the figures don't add up on here? |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
when talking to my single female friends about what i do, they say they wouldnt be able to do it.
knowing them the way i do, i would say that they dont have the thick skin required for it, the detachment, the ability to control and separate their emotional processing from the association of sexual relations.
basically they wouldnt be able to shrug off the way that men perceive them on here, let alone deal with the messages, the concept of 'fucking' as some call it..and the multiple partners and environments
my friends although monogomous arent actually that vanilla in the bedroom. so its not about the sex and its variety in itself..
they just want a stable emotional life, with one man as a companion/ partner...and that is their prerogative..just my take on what ive chatted to them about x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I think the difference is still that there is a worry about slut-shaming. Men are often seen as jack-the-lads and studs, whereas women are seen as whores and sluts (both of which I have been called for being on here, and worse)"
This 
I think its more common for men to want sex without a relationship, but also some women are worried about being honest and upfront about their desires for fear of disapproval and slut shaming, when men are celebrated for the same behaviour.
I also wonder whether theres a percentage of single women who would love to swing but dont because they are worried about the safety aspect. As a woman it can be risky to go and meet a single male (or cpl) who is a complete stranger. If I was a single fem that would worry me a bit.
Sasha x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't reply to meet today requests. I prefer to spend a little time getting to know people on chat first.
As a single lady, safety and my sense of security comes first - and a spontaneous, last minute meet does not cover that adequately for me. I chat, get to know people on line, then arrange a social, and then see where it goes. I don't care if people think this is time wasting, its a process that works for me."
This is the same for me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Courtney, you miss quoted! Please read back. I asked do they have less morals. That's a question not a statement. Please don't troll this post! It's an honest question of why are there so many men and so few women and what people think the reason for this is as I believe the uk population is 51% female and 49% make so how come the figures don't add up on here? "
I'm not trolling anything.
I think the question you posted about morals is suggestive. If it isn't, then that is fine. But reading your post a certain way is certainly not trolling.
-Courtney |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Courtney, you miss quoted! Please read back. I asked do they have less morals. That's a question not a statement. Please don't troll this post! It's an honest question of why are there so many men and so few women and what people think the reason for this is as I believe the uk population is 51% female and 49% make so how come the figures don't add up on here?
I'm not trolling anything.
I think the question you posted about morals is suggestive. If it isn't, then that is fine. But reading your post a certain way is certainly not trolling.
Just assumption!
-Courtney"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I think the difference is still that there is a worry about slut-shaming. Men are often seen as jack-the-lads and studs, whereas women are seen as whores and sluts (both of which I have been called for being on here, and worse)
This
I think its more common for men to want sex without a relationship, but also some women are worried about being honest and upfront about their desires for fear of disapproval and slut shaming, when men are celebrated for the same behaviour.
I also wonder whether theres a percentage of single women who would love to swing but dont because they are worried about the safety aspect. As a woman it can be risky to go and meet a single male (or cpl) who is a complete stranger. If I was a single fem that would worry me a bit.
Sasha x "
I think this is spot on. Society hasn't given women permission to enjoy sex without negative consequences the way it has men. |
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"I think the difference is still that there is a worry about slut-shaming. Men are often seen as jack-the-lads and studs, whereas women are seen as whores and sluts (both of which I have been called for being on here, and worse)"
Exactly, I've had massive moral dilemmas going on in my head about being on Fab. But the benefits outweigh any doubts.
As a single woman on here the last thing I would do would be meet a couple btw. |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
"I think the difference is still that there is a worry about slut-shaming. Men are often seen as jack-the-lads and studs, whereas women are seen as whores and sluts (both of which I have been called for being on here, and worse)
Exactly, I've had massive moral dilemmas going on in my head about being on Fab. But the benefits outweigh any doubts.
As a single woman on here the last thing I would do would be meet a couple btw."
I do meet couples - being bi sexual, a good couple is the ideal for me. However, the couples I have met, and played with have been exceptionally understanding and taken it at my pace - not a meet tonight. And we are friends. They have gone out of their way to ensure I feel safe and happy. I enjoy meeting couples. Having been part of the couple and welcomed a single lady in the past has also been a privilege.
I don't often meet, and I have my own standards and morals that work for me. I do not judge anyone for being different, it takes all sorts to make the world go round, and just because it doesn't work for me, doesn't mean I am right and they are wrong, its just different approaches. |
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"I think the difference is still that there is a worry about slut-shaming. Men are often seen as jack-the-lads and studs, whereas women are seen as whores and sluts (both of which I have been called for being on here, and worse)
Exactly, I've had massive moral dilemmas going on in my head about being on Fab. But the benefits outweigh any doubts.
As a single woman on here the last thing I would do would be meet a couple btw.
I do meet couples - being bi sexual, a good couple is the ideal for me. However, the couples I have met, and played with have been exceptionally understanding and taken it at my pace - not a meet tonight. And we are friends. They have gone out of their way to ensure I feel safe and happy. I enjoy meeting couples. Having been part of the couple and welcomed a single lady in the past has also been a privilege.
I don't often meet, and I have my own standards and morals that work for me. I do not judge anyone for being different, it takes all sorts to make the world go round, and just because it doesn't work for me, doesn't mean I am right and they are wrong, its just different approaches."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a man (surprise I know) is the disparity in numbers not just down to societal pressures but also owing to women's perception of emotion during sex?
I do think that the differences are manifold though and not just owing to one major factor |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" I think this is spot on. Society hasn't given women permission to enjoy sex without negative consequences the way it has men."
Thank you. The worst part of it is, the judgemental abuse or shaming is often coming from other women! Instead of celebrating eachothers freedom, sexuality and open mindedness, we tear each other down because society says we shouldn't be promiscuous,
I know some of my girlfriends would have a lesser opinion of me if they knew about us swinging, whereas if Paul's friends knew they would pat him on the back.
Sasha x |
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"Ok so looking at all the forum posts and the % of male messages against female messages why the massive difference?
Lots of guys openly say they are cheating on their girls but very few ladies post the same. If we put a meet up today we get say 30 men , 2 or 3 couple but no single ladies.
Why do you think the males are so predominant on here? Do they have a higher sex drive than most women or do they have a lot less morals? I do understand some guys are genuinely single but it's still no where near 50-50 with ladies. Where do the single ladies go? So my question really is why the massive difference in numbers? "
I'm wondering if the guys just tend to spread the word more? So to speak. I've spoken to so many guys who have said their friend told them about the site. Alot of my female friends are on here but only from what I have met on the scene.Not many of my vanilla friends know. |
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"I'm wondering if the guys just tend to spread the word more? So to speak. I've spoken to so many guys who have said their friend told them about the site. Alot of my female friends are on here but only from what I have met on the scene.Not many of my vanilla friends know. "
I've got 5, lifelong best friend women and they all know what I do. Two have since joined as well. |
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I'm guessing most single people are looking for relationships. So the average single woman will be actively looking for a man, possibly on dating sites or on nights out.
I think it takes a certain type of woman to be able to accept that sex with a man, just for the sake of sex, is ok.
And similarly, I think it takes a certain type of woman to be so contented in her own life that she doesn't need a man, apart from for sex.
So those of us singles with contented lives, will to have genuine nsa sex are a minority. |
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"I'm guessing most single people are looking for relationships. So the average single woman will be actively looking for a man, possibly on dating sites or on nights out.
I think it takes a certain type of woman to be able to accept that sex with a man, just for the sake of sex, is ok.
And similarly, I think it takes a certain type of woman to be so contented in her own life that she doesn't need a man, apart from for sex.
So those of us singles with contented lives, will to have genuine nsa sex are a minority."
I agree I meet rarely and more time it's just to scratch an itch.. I would like regular but I know I have to be careful with emotions but the head space I'm in is that I have put dating on the back burner and not looking for a relationship but to have amazing sex  |
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"
Why do you think the males are so predominant on here?
The lure of the fanny "
Reminds me When being on holiday in devon or cornwall and going out with my dad in a Small boat with a outdoor motor or on a Bigger boat with skipper and other people fishing for mackeral a mile or More off the coast, with handlines or rods useing feathers or Spinners as lures whenever a shoal of Mackeral came along without doubt they Would be drawn to the lures similar to The guys to the women here, some of The smaller ones went in to the sea, The bigger the catch we kept, again Similar to on here more to get your teeth into..haha so guys just Think of yourselves as mackeral There Are always POF out there.. |
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"I'm guessing most single people are looking for relationships. So the average single woman will be actively looking for a man, possibly on dating sites or on nights out.
I think it takes a certain type of woman to be able to accept that sex with a man, just for the sake of sex, is ok.
And similarly, I think it takes a certain type of woman to be so contented in her own life that she doesn't need a man, apart from for sex.
So those of us singles with contented lives, will to have genuine nsa sex are a minority."
I think this is very true. I like my life and I don't need a partner to feel complete. I'm content in my own company and never feel lonely. I don't have the jealous gene and I can separate my emotions from sex. You'd have to be pretty spectacular to make me want to get into a relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" I think it takes a certain type of woman to be able to accept that sex with a man, just for the sake of sex, is ok.
And similarly, I think it takes a certain type of woman to be so contented in her own life that she doesn't need a man, apart from for sex"
I love this - very well said
Judgemental people cant understand how a woman could be content without a man, and are completely baffled at the audacity and brazenness of a woman that will use and enjoy a man for sex when they need to and then wave them off when they are satisfied. How dare a woman not NEED a man!!!! Lol
Sasha x |
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"I think it is pretty clear that women in society are less likely to want sex without a relationship.
-Courtney"
Maybe 20 years ago. Now girls do not want a relationship at all. Casual (poor) sex is very common thanks to internet and social networks 
My wish for Xmas would be to block internet for 1 year and see what happens |
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"when talking to my single female friends about what i do, they say they wouldnt be able to do it.
knowing them the way i do, i would say that they dont have the thick skin required for it, the detachment, the ability to control and separate their emotional processing from the association of sexual relations.
basically they wouldnt be able to shrug off the way that men perceive them on here, let alone deal with the messages, the concept of 'fucking' as some call it..and the multiple partners and environments
my friends although monogomous arent actually that vanilla in the bedroom. so its not about the sex and its variety in itself..
they just want a stable emotional life, with one man as a companion/ partner...and that is their prerogative..just my take on what ive chatted to them about x"
Totally agree with this, Suzie. |
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"Where do the single ladies go?"
They do not exist. They get married at birth 
Speaking seriously, they go to normal clubs to drink until death. Oh I am going there too tonight, maybe they need a doctor  |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
"Where do the single ladies go?
They do not exist. They get married at birth
Speaking seriously, they go to normal clubs to drink until death. Oh I am going there too tonight, maybe they need a doctor "
Drink until death? Social networks to blame for ladies enjoying casual sex?
Sheesh, no wonder there are no single ladies... they're all lying pissed somewhere, unable to get their knees together from being fucked so often and so badly... or perhaps they are out enjoying their lives, sadly having to fend off judgements from people about the choices they make??? who knows?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Men are far more able to just treat sex as scratching an itch . Emotional attachment is far less likely so they happily play away and don't feel bad .
Women seem to need a bit more than just NSA sex , and are less likely to play away for sheer sexual satisfaction .
Plus they have commitments like childcare and would find it harder to sneak out .
From our experience , the vast majority of genuine single women are looking for more than a quick shag . From when we began swinging over 4 years ago , pretty much all the single women we may back then are now in relationships , and mainly vanilla now . The same can't be said for single guys. Most of whom are still swinging as singles .
That's our thoughts |
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"Where do the single ladies go?
They do not exist. They get married at birth
Speaking seriously, they go to normal clubs to drink until death. Oh I am going there too tonight, maybe they need a doctor
Drink until death? Social networks to blame for ladies enjoying casual sex?
Sheesh, no wonder there are no single ladies... they're all lying pissed somewhere, unable to get their knees together from being fucked so often and so badly... or perhaps they are out enjoying their lives, sadly having to fend off judgements from people about the choices they make??? who knows? "
I know. Plenty of d*unk single girls in normal clubs |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
"I know. Plenty of d*unk single girls in normal clubs "
Plenty of d*unk, sleazy (perhaps not so single) men cracking onto them too... not sure what that has to do with the differences?
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one factor that is forgotten is the fact a lady who feels the need for sex only has to pop down the local pub/club and she will find a guy she likes the look of and she is sorted; for a guy the same does not apply so he will come on here looking for some fun, while the ladies are out on the town and getting it there |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
I have been single for over ten years and I can also say I am not on any other sites looking for a relationship!
Yes I can easily do NSA sex, however, I have my own rules I follow. I will only meet respectful SINGLE men (have met marrieds years ago and no I didn't feel good about it)Hence why they have to be single, not because I am looking for anything else.
BUT....I need a connection of sorts before I can have sexual contact with them, I am not a 1 message and lets fuck woman, So a lot of men on here seem to think we are free prostitutes on here, and send the 'In hotel now, wanna meet?'
Do I worry about what others think of me? The answer is NO! But then again, do I advertise what I do outside of this site? Again the answer is NO!
The last thing I need though is men putting me down on here, because I have either rejected them or even worse, never interacted with them in the first place.
It seems like in all walks of life people have preconceptions about others whether they can back it up or not! |
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"I know. Plenty of d*unk single girls in normal clubs
Plenty of d*unk, sleazy (perhaps not so single) men cracking onto them too... not sure what that has to do with the differences?
"
Nothing I did a joke and you went off topic as usual |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Interesting that some ladies don't feel that society has allowed them to sleep with a few more people, never crossed my mind. Also the person who said ladies can go to any pub and pull is correct, but why? It seems men are desperate and will shag most things that smile at them including TVs bit ladies don't feel the need to send 200 messages a day to get a shag. Still can't really get my head around why the massive difference.
Great comments though . |
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" Judgemental people cant understand how a woman could be content without a man, and are completely baffled at the audacity and brazenness of a woman that will use and enjoy a man for sex when they need to and then wave them off when they are satisfied. How dare a woman not NEED a man!!!! Lol
Sasha x"
So true |
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A lot of women here don't need to scour the meets section or look for potential partners, as they likely have - on average.- a lot of engaging people to get together with. That's the likely reason for disproportionate response levels when you post meets up. There are more males than females, compounding the problem. If you want more females then you have to be targeting differently and specifically. |
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"Interesting that some ladies don't feel that society has allowed them to sleep with a few more people, never crossed my mind. Also the person who said ladies can go to any pub and pull is correct, but why? It seems men are desperate and will shag most things that smile at them including TVs bit ladies don't feel the need to send 200 messages a day to get a shag. Still can't really get my head around why the massive difference.
Great comments though ."
Sorry, I reveal you the existance of the greedy girls. If they do not need men, tell me who need them then
I do not see any difference at all.
Many cock pics vs many pussy pics (both ugly)
They are here like men
Many bad messages I received
Many angry girl which did accept refusal
A difference? Men try to approach more often. Do this make them desperate? Maybe but if it was not like this, human extintion would be near
Another difference. Men know what are their limits mainly. I was approached in clubs by some women who were far below my standards in a VERY BAD way. I would like to see the reaction of a young girl in that context. Another difference
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
The fact they are called greedy girls is a value judgement on their choices.
I'd agree both cock and pussy pics are not that attractive, but loads of people like them, and if it works for them, more power to them.
And ladies very far below your standards in clubs? Gosh, how very dare they even talk to you?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Interesting that some ladies don't feel that society has allowed them to sleep with a few more people, never crossed my mind. Also the person who said ladies can go to any pub and pull is correct, but why? It seems men are desperate and will shag most things that smile at them including TVs bit ladies don't feel the need to send 200 messages a day to get a shag. Still can't really get my head around why the massive difference.
Great comments though .
Sorry, I reveal you the existance of the greedy girls. If they do not need men, tell me who need them then
I do not see any difference at all.
Many cock pics vs many pussy pics (both ugly)
They are here like men
Many bad messages I received
Many angry girl which did accept refusal
A difference? Men try to approach more often. Do this make them desperate? Maybe but if it was not like this, human extintion would be near
Another difference. Men know what are their limits mainly. I was approached in clubs by some women who were far below my standards in a VERY BAD way. I would like to see the reaction of a young girl in that context. Another difference
"
We're far below your standards in a VERY BAD way ?
Oh to be the Adonis in the swinging world . It must be so hard to have to be continually fending off the desperate women in clubs , who are clearly not worthy ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Interesting that some ladies don't feel that society has allowed them to sleep with a few more people, never crossed my mind. Also the person who said ladies can go to any pub and pull is correct, but why? It seems men are desperate and will shag most things that smile at them including TVs bit ladies don't feel the need to send 200 messages a day to get a shag. Still can't really get my head around why the massive difference.
Great comments though .
Sorry, I reveal you the existance of the greedy girls. If they do not need men, tell me who need them then
I do not see any difference at all.
Many cock pics vs many pussy pics (both ugly)
They are here like men
Many bad messages I received
Many angry girl which did accept refusal
A difference? Men try to approach more often. Do this make them desperate? Maybe but if it was not like this, human extintion would be near
Another difference. Men know what are their limits mainly. I was approached in clubs by some women who were far below my standards in a VERY BAD way. I would like to see the reaction of a young girl in that context. Another difference
"
I know, I know... Grammar isn't important on here, but long threads written like this are so difficult to read  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"women have to deal with
mensturation
childbirth
breastfeeding
menopause
and hot flushes
men have to deal with
women
think thats a tie
"
I love your posts |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Men tend to work from the body backwards. They abstract sexual acts in their minds and say "ooo I'd like a blowjob" or "ooo I'd like to try a threesome". As such, this site has been perfectly designed to satisfy their web addled lust... even if it utterly frustrates their quest to actually enjoy such acts.
Women, on the other hand, tend to work from the personality and the story backwards. They get into someone. They like their story. And then they start to think "ooo I'd like to do something with him" or "ooo I'd like to get into bed with these two". As such, their sexual preferences are utterly uncatered for by a logical cataloging website that allows people to convey only the barest of hints about who they are. Thus, they tend to go out looking for real people, whether at clubs, bars, or just in everyday life.
Of course, there are men and women who defy this pattern... but I believe the pattern is generally true. That's my theory anyway |
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"Men tend to work from the body backwards. They abstract sexual acts in their minds and say "ooo I'd like a blowjob" or "ooo I'd like to try a threesome". As such, this site has been perfectly designed to satisfy their web addled lust... even if it utterly frustrates their quest to actually enjoy such acts.
Women, on the other hand, tend to work from the personality and the story backwards. They get into someone. They like their story. And then they start to think "ooo I'd like to do something with him" or "ooo I'd like to get into bed with these two". As such, their sexual preferences are utterly uncatered for by a logical cataloging website that allows people to convey only the barest of hints about who they are. Thus, they tend to go out looking for real people, whether at clubs, bars, or just in everyday life.
Of course, there are men and women who defy this pattern... but I believe the pattern is generally true. That's my theory anyway "
Too much mills and boon there haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think women take on more responsibilities than men that do not give them the opportunity to look for sex.
Eg, women end up stuck with the kids, they could leave them home and go look for sex but they don't.
Men go to work, they might be working late, or nipping out for a drink after work, or their mrs is at work and they nip out then; all these things can be excuses for sex.
More men are looking for dirty chat/ cam sex when they can sneakily fir that in, easy to do while not leaving the house, women are looking for real sex. |
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"We're far below your standards in a VERY BAD way ?
Oh to be the Adonis in the swinging world . It must be so hard to have to be continually fending off the desperate women in clubs , who are clearly not worthy !"
"Approached in a VERY BAD way by girls far below my standards" ...it is more clear now.
Not that, it is boresome to be offended when you reject someone. It is not a normal behaviour really. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Men just have less morals x I would never play with a bloke if I knew he was cheating x I'd never dream of cheating on my other half that's why we always play together x and even if I did cheat on him I would never brag about it xxxx JUST TO MAKE IT CLEAR I NEVER WOULD DO X |
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