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Disposal

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Many Christmases ago A bought me a huge and I mean ENORMOUS dildo as a joke present. I've just unpacked it and really have no idea what to do with it...quiet at the back.....I can't just put it in the recycling, can I?

Suggestions welcome.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Trim it up for Christmas

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By *ugh Jarse 69Man  over a year ago

Kings Lynn

Chuck it in someone else's recycling.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

For my 30th birthday my friends bought me a huuuuuuge rubber dildo taking the loss about how I like big dicks. It stinks of rubber and now it's in my bedside drawer along with hairspray and a lighter. My weapons of choice should an intruder ever break in, hairspray and lighter to the face for home made flame thrower and massive 18 inch long thick rubber dildo to club someone with.

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By *bovethekneeCouple  over a year ago

Hampshire / Herefordshire

Secret Santa!!

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Trim it up for Christmas "

It could take the place of a tree

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Taking the piss not loss!

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Chuck it in someone else's recycling. "

I might do that.

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"For my 30th birthday my friends bought me a huuuuuuge rubber dildo taking the loss about how I like big dicks. It stinks of rubber and now it's in my bedside drawer along with hairspray and a lighter. My weapons of choice should an intruder ever break in, hairspray and lighter to the face for home made flame thrower and massive 18 inch long thick rubber dildo to club someone with. "

I like that idea, I might keep it in the car as self defence.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Use it as a draugh excluder

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Secret Santa!!"

That's an idea an it's anonymous

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By *irtyGirlWoman  over a year ago

Edinburgh

Someone bought me a GIANT dildo and I just threw it in the bin in the street. At night when there was zero chance of being caught with said GIANT black dildo in the shape of a gun!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

WI raffle?

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Use it as a draugh excluder "

It would keep a blooming hurricane out

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By *icketysplitsWoman  over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Why didn't you lose it in the move?

Complain to the removal company that they gave you a box with someone else's stuff. You need to put other things in a box and return to them to find the rightful owner.

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By *ony HardcockMan  over a year ago

Shepperton


"Chuck it in someone else's recycling.

I might do that."

Lay down on your back place it under your back and use it as a massager

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By *ugh Jarse 69Man  over a year ago

Kings Lynn


"Chuck it in someone else's recycling.

I might do that."

which neighbours don't u like? Just leave it right at the top of their pile of recycling. lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"For my 30th birthday my friends bought me a huuuuuuge rubber dildo taking the loss about how I like big dicks. It stinks of rubber and now it's in my bedside drawer along with hairspray and a lighter. My weapons of choice should an intruder ever break in, hairspray and lighter to the face for home made flame thrower and massive 18 inch long thick rubber dildo to club someone with. "

This made me laugh, I pity the poor person who breaks in

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Someone bought me a GIANT dildo and I just threw it in the bin in the street. At night when there was zero chance of being caught with said GIANT black dildo in the shape of a gun!! "

So DG what size was it? ......Giant?

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"WI raffle?"

That or I was thinking of donating it to Help the Aged.

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Why didn't you lose it in the move?

Complain to the removal company that they gave you a box with someone else's stuff. You need to put other things in a box and return to them to find the rightful owner.

"

Devious and cunning....I like it!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"WI raffle?

That or I was thinking of donating it to Help the Aged. "

Disguise it in a tin of biscuits or something.

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Chuck it in someone else's recycling.

I might do that.

Lay down on your back place it under your back and use it as a massager "

If I laid on it I'd be a good eight inches off the ground

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I like the idea of using it if you get intruders

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Chuck it in someone else's recycling.

I might do that.

which neighbours don't u like? Just leave it right at the top of their pile of recycling. lol"

Only just moved in, we aren't sufficiently fed up with any of them yet

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Get the tube of lube out and take it all

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By *oyuer99Man  over a year ago

PRESTON

Send it to the most spiteful person you know

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Just got an advert through the door for the local Church jumble sale

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"WI raffle?

That or I was thinking of donating it to Help the Aged.

Disguise it in a tin of biscuits or something."

There is no tin of biscuits large enough. Maybe I could incorporate it into a showstopper bake a la Great British Bake Off........what would Paul and Mary say?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"For my 30th birthday my friends bought me a huuuuuuge rubber dildo taking the loss about how I like big dicks. It stinks of rubber and now it's in my bedside drawer along with hairspray and a lighter. My weapons of choice should an intruder ever break in, hairspray and lighter to the face for home made flame thrower and massive 18 inch long thick rubber dildo to club someone with.

I like that idea, I might keep it in the car as self defence. "

I would definitely keep it as a self defence weapon, it would give someone a hefty smack plus you won't get into trouble with police because you haven't taken a weapon (knife/baseball bat) with you with the intention to use it.

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Get the tube of lube out and take it all "

That has been suggested A says it is nearly as big as him lol

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"For my 30th birthday my friends bought me a huuuuuuge rubber dildo taking the loss about how I like big dicks. It stinks of rubber and now it's in my bedside drawer along with hairspray and a lighter. My weapons of choice should an intruder ever break in, hairspray and lighter to the face for home made flame thrower and massive 18 inch long thick rubber dildo to club someone with.

I like that idea, I might keep it in the car as self defence.

I would definitely keep it as a self defence weapon, it would give someone a hefty smack plus you won't get into trouble with police because you haven't taken a weapon (knife/baseball bat) with you with the intention to use it. "

My thoughts exactly although I'm not sure how I'd explain it to my mum

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Just got an advert through the door for the local Church jumble sale "

I'll send it up to you then.....problem solved!

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By *icketysplitsWoman  over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"WI raffle?

That or I was thinking of donating it to Help the Aged.

Disguise it in a tin of biscuits or something.

There is no tin of biscuits large enough. Maybe I could incorporate it into a showstopper bake a la Great British Bake Off........what would Paul and Mary say? "

That's a lot of cake!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Get the tube of lube out and take it all

That has been suggested A says it is nearly as big as him lol"

ouch

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By *irtyGirlWoman  over a year ago

Edinburgh


"Someone bought me a GIANT dildo and I just threw it in the bin in the street. At night when there was zero chance of being caught with said GIANT black dildo in the shape of a gun!!

So DG what size was it? ......Giant? "

Probably about 12 inches... in diameter!

About a foot and a half long with a trigger!! Only a bloke would buy such a monstrously HUGE dildo!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Tie it to a rock and throw it in the nearest lake.

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By *r TriomanMan  over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

Paint it with _ed and silver horizontal stripes and leave it amongst some traffic cones.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Leave it on someone's doorstep knock the door and run away. For extra fun tie a bow on it.

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By *irtyGirlWoman  over a year ago

Edinburgh

Auction it on eBay!

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By *uby0000Woman  over a year ago

hertfordshire

many years ago I bagged mine up in a closed bag to go to the dump my hubby got the wrong bag and took it to our local charity shop!!!! next day they were closed often wonder why lol

go to the dump and askthem which bin to put them in hehe

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Just got an advert through the door for the local Church jumble sale

I'll send it up to you then.....problem solved!"

Just send it straight to the Vicar - cut out the middle man. I'll PM the address

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Someone bought me a GIANT dildo and I just threw it in the bin in the street. At night when there was zero chance of being caught with said GIANT black dildo in the shape of a gun!!

So DG what size was it? ......Giant?

Probably about 12 inches... in diameter!

About a foot and a half long with a trigger!! Only a bloke would buy such a monstrously HUGE dildo! "

I'm thinking the person who bought it should use it

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Tie it to a rock and throw it in the nearest lake."

It would cause a tidal wave

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Paint it with _ed and silver horizontal stripes and leave it amongst some traffic cones. "

That would give the traffic warden something to think about

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Leave it on someone's doorstep knock the door and run away. For extra fun tie a bow on it. "

I could do that on Halloween

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Auction it on eBay! "

Buyer collects......I'm not taking that think to the post office.

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"many years ago I bagged mine up in a closed bag to go to the dump my hubby got the wrong bag and took it to our local charity shop!!!! next day they were closed often wonder why lol

go to the dump and askthem which bin to put them in hehe"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Attach it to a chain and wear it as a pendant around your neck.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Someone bought me a GIANT dildo and I just threw it in the bin in the street. At night when there was zero chance of being caught with said GIANT black dildo in the shape of a gun!!

So DG what size was it? ......Giant?

Probably about 12 inches... in diameter!

About a foot and a half long with a trigger!! Only a bloke would buy such a monstrously HUGE dildo! "

Why would they even MAKE that?!?

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Just got an advert through the door for the local Church jumble sale

I'll send it up to you then.....problem solved!

Just send it straight to the Vicar - cut out the middle man. I'll PM the address "

It would give him something to put under his cassock

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Attach it to a chain and wear it as a pendant around your neck."

Lol. I like statement jewellery but that's just ridiculous

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By *edMan  over a year ago

cambridgeshire


"Many Christmases ago A bought me a huge and I mean ENORMOUS dildo as a joke present. I've just unpacked it and really have no idea what to do with it...quiet at the back.....I can't just put it in the recycling, can I?

Suggestions welcome."

Paint it green and chuck it in someone's vegetable patch

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Many Christmases ago A bought me a huge and I mean ENORMOUS dildo as a joke present. I've just unpacked it and really have no idea what to do with it...quiet at the back.....I can't just put it in the recycling, can I?

Suggestions welcome.

Paint it green and chuck it in someone's vegetable patch"

Is that a hideous euphemism?

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By *icketysplitsWoman  over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Someone bought me a GIANT dildo and I just threw it in the bin in the street. At night when there was zero chance of being caught with said GIANT black dildo in the shape of a gun!!

So DG what size was it? ......Giant?

Probably about 12 inches... in diameter!

About a foot and a half long with a trigger!! Only a bloke would buy such a monstrously HUGE dildo!

Why would they even MAKE that?!?"

I have a friend who makes them... you can get even bigger ones.

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By *iamondjoeMan  over a year ago

Glastonbury

My little old lady friend™ caused ructions at the post office when she was shipping off a pressie to a friend.

LOLF was asked if the package contained electrical items, which is did.

When asked, for security reasons, what was in the package my little old lady friend replied:

"It's sex toys, since you asked."

She's 73 years young.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Someone bought me a GIANT dildo and I just threw it in the bin in the street. At night when there was zero chance of being caught with said GIANT black dildo in the shape of a gun!!

So DG what size was it? ......Giant?

Probably about 12 inches... in diameter!

About a foot and a half long with a trigger!! Only a bloke would buy such a monstrously HUGE dildo!

Why would they even MAKE that?!?

I have a friend who makes them... you can get even bigger ones."

Yes, but why?

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By *ty31Man  over a year ago

NW London

Some suggestions;

Threaten to use it on the next person who sends you a rude message on here.

Take up baseball

Go trick or treating this halloween and take it as your trick

Paint it white, add a nose and some eyes- one snowman without the snow

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Just got an advert through the door for the local Church jumble sale

I'll send it up to you then.....problem solved!

Just send it straight to the Vicar - cut out the middle man. I'll PM the address

It would give him something to put under his cassock "

Aye new film being made 'Carry on up the Cassock'

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"My little old lady friend™ caused ructions at the post office when she was shipping off a pressie to a friend.

LOLF was asked if the package contained electrical items, which is did.

When asked, for security reasons, what was in the package my little old lady friend replied:

"It's sex toys, since you asked."

She's 73 years young.

"

Being closer to 73 than 23 I am heartened by that. I think I said before little old ladies are only little old ladies on the outside, on the inside they're 30 year old ravers

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Someone bought me a GIANT dildo and I just threw it in the bin in the street. At night when there was zero chance of being caught with said GIANT black dildo in the shape of a gun!!

So DG what size was it? ......Giant?

Probably about 12 inches... in diameter!

About a foot and a half long with a trigger!! Only a bloke would buy such a monstrously HUGE dildo!

Why would they even MAKE that?!?

I have a friend who makes them... you can get even bigger ones.

Yes, but why?"

For a joke gift

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By *irtyGirlWoman  over a year ago

Edinburgh


"Someone bought me a GIANT dildo and I just threw it in the bin in the street. At night when there was zero chance of being caught with said GIANT black dildo in the shape of a gun!!

So DG what size was it? ......Giant?

Probably about 12 inches... in diameter!

About a foot and a half long with a trigger!! Only a bloke would buy such a monstrously HUGE dildo!

Why would they even MAKE that?!?

I have a friend who makes them... you can get even bigger ones.

Yes, but why?"

Yeah this!!

I wish I'd kept a photo of it. Beyond ridiculous!

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

True story. The giant dildo and assorted accessories were laying on the floor while we ponde_ed on their fate when somebody knocked on the door........cue hasty shoving of said apparatus into a suitcase

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By *irtyGirlWoman  over a year ago

Edinburgh


"True story. The giant dildo and assorted accessories were laying on the floor while we ponde_ed on their fate when somebody knocked on the door........cue hasty shoving of said apparatus into a suitcase "

Save one for when the Jehovah Witnesses come knocking and answer the door with it in your hand.

(other religious people are available)

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"True story. The giant dildo and assorted accessories were laying on the floor while we ponde_ed on their fate when somebody knocked on the door........cue hasty shoving of said apparatus into a suitcase

Save one for when the Jehovah Witnesses come knocking and answer the door with it in your hand.

(other religious people are available) "

Tempting, very tempting.

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By *ty31Man  over a year ago

NW London

I once got asked by a mate's girlfriend to take some rubbish bags down to the tip whilst they were moving house. We called in to the dump on the way to drop the van back off, I took out the first bag and the bloke asked us if it had anything electrical inside. As I was about to answer the bag split open and her old "little friend" fell out at our feet. She was pretty mortified to say the least....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"True story. The giant dildo and assorted accessories were laying on the floor while we ponde_ed on their fate when somebody knocked on the door........cue hasty shoving of said apparatus into a suitcase "

Send it on a long holiday

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By *rightonsteveMan  over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

A bald garden gnome

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Pop it into the middle of a roundabout.(the road sort )

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I once got asked by a mate's girlfriend to take some rubbish bags down to the tip whilst they were moving house. We called in to the dump on the way to drop the van back off, I took out the first bag and the bloke asked us if it had anything electrical inside. As I was about to answer the bag split open and her old "little friend" fell out at our feet. She was pretty mortified to say the least...."

Eek. I heard tell that a plane made an emergency landing because a woman's vibrator was buzzing in her bag and they thought it was a bomb.

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By *irtyGirlWoman  over a year ago

Edinburgh

I've had my toothbrush buzzing as my bag went round the conveyor belt in the airport. I made a proper show of getting it out my case.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Many Christmases ago A bought me a huge and I mean ENORMOUS dildo as a joke present. I've just unpacked it and really have no idea what to do with it...quiet at the back.....I can't just put it in the recycling, can I?

Suggestions welcome."

Joke present. Mmmm hhmmmm

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Chuck it in someone else's recycling.

I might do that.

which neighbours don't u like? Just leave it right at the top of their pile of recycling. lol

Only just moved in, we aren't sufficiently fed up with any of them yet "

Give it time.......

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Many Christmases ago A bought me a huge and I mean ENORMOUS dildo as a joke present. I've just unpacked it and really have no idea what to do with it...quiet at the back.....I can't just put it in the recycling, can I?

Suggestions welcome.

Joke present. Mmmm hhmmmm "

honest

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I've had my toothbrush buzzing as my bag went round the conveyor belt in the airport. I made a proper show of getting it out my case. "

You know you can get "special" attachments for them right?

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Chuck it in someone else's recycling.

I might do that.

which neighbours don't u like? Just leave it right at the top of their pile of recycling. lol

Only just moved in, we aren't sufficiently fed up with any of them yet

Give it time....... "

More a case of giving them time I feel

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Chuck it in someone else's recycling.

I might do that.

which neighbours don't u like? Just leave it right at the top of their pile of recycling. lol

Only just moved in, we aren't sufficiently fed up with any of them yet

Give it time.......

More a case of giving them time I feel "

Just don't make too much noise when you're, ahem, "at home".

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By *ophieslutTV/TS  over a year ago

Central

Plenty of threads from first time male anal virgins - they'll soon loosen up with it. And starting big means you never look back (seeing your rear split in two is a disincentive). It could soon be snapped up, if promoted properly.

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Chuck it in someone else's recycling.

I might do that.

which neighbours don't u like? Just leave it right at the top of their pile of recycling. lol

Only just moved in, we aren't sufficiently fed up with any of them yet

Give it time.......

More a case of giving them time I feel

Just don't make too much noise when you're, ahem, "at home". "

Who? Moi, the very epitomy of silent when Mr N takes a leather paddle to my bottom

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Chuck it in someone else's recycling.

I might do that.

which neighbours don't u like? Just leave it right at the top of their pile of recycling. lol

Only just moved in, we aren't sufficiently fed up with any of them yet

Give it time.......

More a case of giving them time I feel "

Thinking about it, when you move somewhere new don't you invite the neighbours round and exchange gifts to get to know them?

Perfect opportunity to get rid of something, if you know what I mean.

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Plenty of threads from first time male anal virgins - they'll soon loosen up with it. And starting big means you never look back (seeing your rear split in two is a disincentive). It could soon be snapped up, if promoted properly."

You're right! I should be viewing this as an opportunity not a problem

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Chuck it in someone else's recycling.

I might do that.

which neighbours don't u like? Just leave it right at the top of their pile of recycling. lol

Only just moved in, we aren't sufficiently fed up with any of them yet

Give it time.......

More a case of giving them time I feel

Just don't make too much noise when you're, ahem, "at home".

Who? Moi, the very epitomy of silent when Mr N takes a leather paddle to my bottom "

Gulps......

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Chuck it in someone else's recycling.

I might do that.

which neighbours don't u like? Just leave it right at the top of their pile of recycling. lol

Only just moved in, we aren't sufficiently fed up with any of them yet

Give it time.......

More a case of giving them time I feel

Thinking about it, when you move somewhere new don't you invite the neighbours round and exchange gifts to get to know them?

Perfect opportunity to get rid of something, if you know what I mean. "

Dear Lord! I'm trying to give them the right impression not the correct one

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Please post a pic of the offending item.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Please post a pic of the offending item. "

I agree! But you have to be using it as intended

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Please post a pic of the offending item. "

Next to a Sky remote.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If you still have the packaging leave it on a charity shop step

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Or hollow out the middle and make a garden fountain/birdbath ornament. Bet that would be a good talking point for the neighbours.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If you want i could have a chat with the lads on site and see if they can put it through a chipper for you how many of us does it need to be carried away

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Place in a box,seal it with sellotape and leave on a table at one of those outdoor coffee shops.

Some bugger will nick it within 5 mins.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

if you have trouble with speeding cars just put in the road and they will just look and slow down

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Chuck it in someone else's recycling.

I might do that.

which neighbours don't u like? Just leave it right at the top of their pile of recycling. lol

Only just moved in, we aren't sufficiently fed up with any of them yet

Give it time.......

More a case of giving them time I feel

Thinking about it, when you move somewhere new don't you invite the neighbours round and exchange gifts to get to know them?

Perfect opportunity to get rid of something, if you know what I mean.

Dear Lord! I'm trying to give them the right impression not the correct one "

Reminds of when the mother of an ex girlfriend found her vibratory.

The embarrassed ex tried explain that it could be used to massage the back.

"Oh God no" said mum innocently and without thinking, "I could never use it on my back"

Much mirth ensued...

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By *edMan  over a year ago

cambridgeshire


"Many Christmases ago A bought me a huge and I mean ENORMOUS dildo as a joke present. I've just unpacked it and really have no idea what to do with it...quiet at the back.....I can't just put it in the recycling, can I?

Suggestions welcome.

Paint it green and chuck it in someone's vegetable patch

Is that a hideous euphemism? "

Ummm yes, but only because I thought of it as I pressed send

So, congrats, your mind is like mine. People that know me would sorry for you lol

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By *irtyGirlWoman  over a year ago

Edinburgh


"I've had my toothbrush buzzing as my bag went round the conveyor belt in the airport. I made a proper show of getting it out my case.

You know you can get "special" attachments for them right? "

For your toothbrush?!!

Wtf? Why would someone even think of that?!

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Many Christmases ago A bought me a huge and I mean ENORMOUS dildo as a joke present. I've just unpacked it and really have no idea what to do with it...quiet at the back.....I can't just put it in the recycling, can I?

Suggestions welcome.

Paint it green and chuck it in someone's vegetable patch

Is that a hideous euphemism?

Ummm yes, but only because I thought of it as I pressed send

So, congrats, your mind is like mine. People that know me would sorry for you lol"

Lol I find it all very amusing

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I've had my toothbrush buzzing as my bag went round the conveyor belt in the airport. I made a proper show of getting it out my case.

You know you can get "special" attachments for them right?

For your toothbrush?!!

Wtf? Why would someone even think of that?! "

Yes, for your toothbrush. If you don't want to use the same toothbrush for both purposes simply use your partners for the "special" attachment, it's the least they can do

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By *ezebelWoman  over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest


"For my 30th birthday my friends bought me a huuuuuuge rubber dildo taking the loss about how I like big dicks. It stinks of rubber and now it's in my bedside drawer along with hairspray and a lighter. My weapons of choice should an intruder ever break in, hairspray and lighter to the face for home made flame thrower and massive 18 inch long thick rubber dildo to club someone with. "

And I genuinely have just snorted coffee up my nose reading that

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By *uby0000Woman  over a year ago

hertfordshire

attach something to the tip and use it as a back scratcher

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"attach something to the tip and use it as a back scratcher"

But whose back should I scratch? The size of this thing I could reach the bloke at the end of the street

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"attach something to the tip and use it as a back scratcher

But whose back should I scratch? The size of this thing I could reach the bloke at the end of the street "

Well that's one way to get to know the new neighbours.

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By *b586Couple  over a year ago

pemberton twp

Toss it into a friends car as a joke.

Leave it on public transpirtation.

Great coffee table conversation piece- set on a friends table during a party, of corse.

I love everyone else's suggestions.

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Toss it into a friends car as a joke.

Leave it on public transpirtation.

Great coffee table conversation piece- set on a friends table during a party, of corse.

I love everyone else's suggestions. "

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By *irtyGirlWoman  over a year ago

Edinburgh


"Toss it into a friends car as a joke.

Leave it on public transpirtation.

Great coffee table conversation piece- set on a friends table during a party, of corse.

I love everyone else's suggestions. "

Oh that's a fabulous idea... the story would be even better if it was brought back to you via the CCTV!

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Toss it into a friends car as a joke.

Leave it on public transpirtation.

Great coffee table conversation piece- set on a friends table during a party, of corse.

I love everyone else's suggestions.

Oh that's a fabulous idea... the story would be even better if it was brought back to you via the CCTV! "

Boomerang dildo

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By *irtyGirlWoman  over a year ago

Edinburgh


"Toss it into a friends car as a joke.

Leave it on public transpirtation.

Great coffee table conversation piece- set on a friends table during a party, of corse.

I love everyone else's suggestions.

Oh that's a fabulous idea... the story would be even better if it was brought back to you via the CCTV!

Boomerang dildo "

You have to do it!!

How funny would that be! Lost property anyone

Anyone?!!

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Toss it into a friends car as a joke.

Leave it on public transpirtation.

Great coffee table conversation piece- set on a friends table during a party, of corse.

I love everyone else's suggestions.

Oh that's a fabulous idea... the story would be even better if it was brought back to you via the CCTV!

Boomerang dildo

You have to do it!!

How funny would that be! Lost property anyone

Anyone?!! "

No, just NO. We all know the footage would end up on YouTube and Facebook

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Put it in someone's harvest festival box

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Put it in someone's harvest festival box "

Stuff that marrow!!!

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By *icketysplitsWoman  over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Haven't you got rid of it yet?

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Haven't you got rid of it yet?

"

No it's in a suitcase with some other ill thought out purchases of the sex toy kind and a couple of dodgy videos. It'll stay in this loft now and probably be found by our inc_edulous off spring after we die. . I can imagine their faces.

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By *icketysplitsWoman  over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Haven't you got rid of it yet?

No it's in a suitcase with some other ill thought out purchases of the sex toy kind and a couple of dodgy videos. It'll stay in this loft now and probably be found by our inc_edulous off spring after we die. . I can imagine their faces."

It's worth keeping just for that reason. Perhaps leave them a little note that will leave them pondering.

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Haven't you got rid of it yet?

No it's in a suitcase with some other ill thought out purchases of the sex toy kind and a couple of dodgy videos. It'll stay in this loft now and probably be found by our inc_edulous off spring after we die. . I can imagine their faces.

It's worth keeping just for that reason. Perhaps leave them a little note that will leave them pondering.

"

What with that, our "private" photo album and collection of bondage gear, spanking equipment and dressing up box I think they'll be pondering for quite some time

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Haven't you got rid of it yet?

"

She can't think of anywhere to put it........

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By *irtyGirlWoman  over a year ago

Edinburgh


"Haven't you got rid of it yet?

No it's in a suitcase with some other ill thought out purchases of the sex toy kind and a couple of dodgy videos. It'll stay in this loft now and probably be found by our inc_edulous off spring after we die. . I can imagine their faces.

It's worth keeping just for that reason. Perhaps leave them a little note that will leave them pondering.

What with that, our "private" photo album and collection of bondage gear, spanking equipment and dressing up box I think they'll be pondering for quite some time "

I'd skip the pics... there are some things you can't unsee but I'm totally with Lickety... if you won't leave it on the bus, leave it somewhere super random, like the bottom of the chest freezer.

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Haven't you got rid of it yet?

No it's in a suitcase with some other ill thought out purchases of the sex toy kind and a couple of dodgy videos. It'll stay in this loft now and probably be found by our inc_edulous off spring after we die. . I can imagine their faces.

It's worth keeping just for that reason. Perhaps leave them a little note that will leave them pondering.

What with that, our "private" photo album and collection of bondage gear, spanking equipment and dressing up box I think they'll be pondering for quite some time

I'd skip the pics... there are some things you can't unsee but I'm totally with Lickety... if you won't leave it on the bus, leave it somewhere super random, like the bottom of the chest freezer. "

On the grounds that I have no idea when I'm going to die or according to some, if, would you be my sex picture buddy? On hearing the sad news of my demise you nip round, smash the hard drive on my pc and lap top, destroy the framed photos and the pictures in the album, I'll do the same for you.

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By *irtyGirlWoman  over a year ago

Edinburgh


"Haven't you got rid of it yet?

No it's in a suitcase with some other ill thought out purchases of the sex toy kind and a couple of dodgy videos. It'll stay in this loft now and probably be found by our inc_edulous off spring after we die. . I can imagine their faces.

It's worth keeping just for that reason. Perhaps leave them a little note that will leave them pondering.

What with that, our "private" photo album and collection of bondage gear, spanking equipment and dressing up box I think they'll be pondering for quite some time

I'd skip the pics... there are some things you can't unsee but I'm totally with Lickety... if you won't leave it on the bus, leave it somewhere super random, like the bottom of the chest freezer.

On the grounds that I have no idea when I'm going to die or according to some, if, would you be my sex picture buddy? On hearing the sad news of my demise you nip round, smash the hard drive on my pc and lap top, destroy the framed photos and the pictures in the album, I'll do the same for you. "

Do I look stupid? My brother already has keys and strict instructions written in my book of death.

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Haven't you got rid of it yet?

No it's in a suitcase with some other ill thought out purchases of the sex toy kind and a couple of dodgy videos. It'll stay in this loft now and probably be found by our inc_edulous off spring after we die. . I can imagine their faces.

It's worth keeping just for that reason. Perhaps leave them a little note that will leave them pondering.

What with that, our "private" photo album and collection of bondage gear, spanking equipment and dressing up box I think they'll be pondering for quite some time

I'd skip the pics... there are some things you can't unsee but I'm totally with Lickety... if you won't leave it on the bus, leave it somewhere super random, like the bottom of the chest freezer.

On the grounds that I have no idea when I'm going to die or according to some, if, would you be my sex picture buddy? On hearing the sad news of my demise you nip round, smash the hard drive on my pc and lap top, destroy the framed photos and the pictures in the album, I'll do the same for you.

Do I look stupid? My brother already has keys and strict instructions written in my book of death. "

In answer to your first question, I couldn't possibly say . You're a wise woman DG a wise woman.

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By *irtyGirlWoman  over a year ago

Edinburgh


"Haven't you got rid of it yet?

No it's in a suitcase with some other ill thought out purchases of the sex toy kind and a couple of dodgy videos. It'll stay in this loft now and probably be found by our inc_edulous off spring after we die. . I can imagine their faces.

It's worth keeping just for that reason. Perhaps leave them a little note that will leave them pondering.

What with that, our "private" photo album and collection of bondage gear, spanking equipment and dressing up box I think they'll be pondering for quite some time

I'd skip the pics... there are some things you can't unsee but I'm totally with Lickety... if you won't leave it on the bus, leave it somewhere super random, like the bottom of the chest freezer.

On the grounds that I have no idea when I'm going to die or according to some, if, would you be my sex picture buddy? On hearing the sad news of my demise you nip round, smash the hard drive on my pc and lap top, destroy the framed photos and the pictures in the album, I'll do the same for you.

Do I look stupid? My brother already has keys and strict instructions written in my book of death.

In answer to your first question, I couldn't possibly say . You're a wise woman DG a wise woman."

If you lived closer I'd surely do it for you. Actually I wonder if there's a business in there somewhere. I mean how many of us would rather our families didn't have to find that shit?!

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Haven't you got rid of it yet?

No it's in a suitcase with some other ill thought out purchases of the sex toy kind and a couple of dodgy videos. It'll stay in this loft now and probably be found by our inc_edulous off spring after we die. . I can imagine their faces.

It's worth keeping just for that reason. Perhaps leave them a little note that will leave them pondering.

What with that, our "private" photo album and collection of bondage gear, spanking equipment and dressing up box I think they'll be pondering for quite some time

I'd skip the pics... there are some things you can't unsee but I'm totally with Lickety... if you won't leave it on the bus, leave it somewhere super random, like the bottom of the chest freezer.

On the grounds that I have no idea when I'm going to die or according to some, if, would you be my sex picture buddy? On hearing the sad news of my demise you nip round, smash the hard drive on my pc and lap top, destroy the framed photos and the pictures in the album, I'll do the same for you.

Do I look stupid? My brother already has keys and strict instructions written in my book of death.

In answer to your first question, I couldn't possibly say . You're a wise woman DG a wise woman.

If you lived closer I'd surely do it for you. Actually I wonder if there's a business in there somewhere. I mean how many of us would rather our families didn't have to find that shit?! "

Thank you

Yes there is, go on Dragons Den.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Haven't you got rid of it yet?

No it's in a suitcase with some other ill thought out purchases of the sex toy kind and a couple of dodgy videos. It'll stay in this loft now and probably be found by our inc_edulous off spring after we die. . I can imagine their faces.

It's worth keeping just for that reason. Perhaps leave them a little note that will leave them pondering.

What with that, our "private" photo album and collection of bondage gear, spanking equipment and dressing up box I think they'll be pondering for quite some time

I'd skip the pics... there are some things you can't unsee but I'm totally with Lickety... if you won't leave it on the bus, leave it somewhere super random, like the bottom of the chest freezer.

On the grounds that I have no idea when I'm going to die or according to some, if, would you be my sex picture buddy? On hearing the sad news of my demise you nip round, smash the hard drive on my pc and lap top, destroy the framed photos and the pictures in the album, I'll do the same for you.

Do I look stupid? My brother already has keys and strict instructions written in my book of death.

In answer to your first question, I couldn't possibly say . You're a wise woman DG a wise woman.

If you lived closer I'd surely do it for you. Actually I wonder if there's a business in there somewhere. I mean how many of us would rather our families didn't have to find that shit?!

Thank you

Yes there is, go on Dragons Den. "

And for that reason, I'm in!!!!!!

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By *edMan  over a year ago

cambridgeshire


"Many Christmases ago A bought me a huge and I mean ENORMOUS dildo as a joke present. I've just unpacked it and really have no idea what to do with it...quiet at the back.....I can't just put it in the recycling, can I?

Suggestions welcome.

Paint it green and chuck it in someone's vegetable patch

Is that a hideous euphemism?

Ummm yes, but only because I thought of it as I pressed send

So, congrats, your mind is like mine. People that know me would sorry for you lol

Lol I find it all very amusing "

Just thought... Vegetable snatch

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Cut down to 6inchs and make a handle for the pull cord in the bathroom

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Disguise it as a joint of pork and donate it to a soup kitchen

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Give it to the wi in a job lot of raffle prizes, I'm sure one of them will take it home

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Chuck it with the bodies under the patio

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By *icolerobbieCouple  over a year ago

walsall

Sounds like a perfect hat stand to me. Just paint it white then give the distressed look and it will be shabby chic...

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By *arry247Couple  over a year ago

Wakefield

Use it until you wear it down then put it in a matchbox and recycle it

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Haven't you got rid of it yet?

No it's in a suitcase with some other ill thought out purchases of the sex toy kind and a couple of dodgy videos. It'll stay in this loft now and probably be found by our inc_edulous off spring after we die. . I can imagine their faces.

It's worth keeping just for that reason. Perhaps leave them a little note that will leave them pondering.

What with that, our "private" photo album and collection of bondage gear, spanking equipment and dressing up box I think they'll be pondering for quite some time

I'd skip the pics... there are some things you can't unsee but I'm totally with Lickety... if you won't leave it on the bus, leave it somewhere super random, like the bottom of the chest freezer.

On the grounds that I have no idea when I'm going to die or according to some, if, would you be my sex picture buddy? On hearing the sad news of my demise you nip round, smash the hard drive on my pc and lap top, destroy the framed photos and the pictures in the album, I'll do the same for you.

Do I look stupid? My brother already has keys and strict instructions written in my book of death.

In answer to your first question, I couldn't possibly say . You're a wise woman DG a wise woman.

If you lived closer I'd surely do it for you. Actually I wonder if there's a business in there somewhere. I mean how many of us would rather our families didn't have to find that shit?!

Thank you

Yes there is, go on Dragons Den.

And for that reason, I'm in!!!!!!

"

You might want to rephrase that

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Many Christmases ago A bought me a huge and I mean ENORMOUS dildo as a joke present. I've just unpacked it and really have no idea what to do with it...quiet at the back.....I can't just put it in the recycling, can I?

Suggestions welcome.

Paint it green and chuck it in someone's vegetable patch

Is that a hideous euphemism?

Ummm yes, but only because I thought of it as I pressed send

So, congrats, your mind is like mine. People that know me would sorry for you lol

Lol I find it all very amusing

Just thought... Vegetable snatch "

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Cut down to 6inchs and make a handle for the pull cord in the bathroom "

Lol, that would make an interesting conversation piece.

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Disguise it as a joint of pork and donate it to a soup kitchen "

There is no amount of seasoning that would make this palatable

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Give it to the wi in a job lot of raffle prizes, I'm sure one of them will take it home"

Their motto is to reuse and recycle, it might appear on a calendar

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Chuck it with the bodies under the patio "

No more room.......

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Sounds like a perfect hat stand to me. Just paint it white then give the distressed look and it will be shabby chic..."

Stand being the operative word

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By *icecouple561 OP   Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Use it until you wear it down then put it in a matchbox and recycle it "

I doubt I'll live that long

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By *edMan  over a year ago

cambridgeshire


"Many Christmases ago A bought me a huge and I mean ENORMOUS dildo as a joke present. I've just unpacked it and really have no idea what to do with it...quiet at the back.....I can't just put it in the recycling, can I?

Suggestions welcome.

Paint it green and chuck it in someone's vegetable patch

Is that a hideous euphemism?

Ummm yes, but only because I thought of it as I pressed send

So, congrats, your mind is like mine. People that know me would sorry for you lol

Lol I find it all very amusing

Just thought... Vegetable snatch

"

Seriously (no... Really..) Thank you for one of the most entertaining posts on here in ages and ages x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Haven't you got rid of it yet?

No it's in a suitcase with some other ill thought out purchases of the sex toy kind and a couple of dodgy videos. It'll stay in this loft now and probably be found by our inc_edulous off spring after we die. . I can imagine their faces.

It's worth keeping just for that reason. Perhaps leave them a little note that will leave them pondering.

What with that, our "private" photo album and collection of bondage gear, spanking equipment and dressing up box I think they'll be pondering for quite some time

I'd skip the pics... there are some things you can't unsee but I'm totally with Lickety... if you won't leave it on the bus, leave it somewhere super random, like the bottom of the chest freezer.

On the grounds that I have no idea when I'm going to die or according to some, if, would you be my sex picture buddy? On hearing the sad news of my demise you nip round, smash the hard drive on my pc and lap top, destroy the framed photos and the pictures in the album, I'll do the same for you.

Do I look stupid? My brother already has keys and strict instructions written in my book of death.

In answer to your first question, I couldn't possibly say . You're a wise woman DG a wise woman.

If you lived closer I'd surely do it for you. Actually I wonder if there's a business in there somewhere. I mean how many of us would rather our families didn't have to find that shit?!

Thank you

Yes there is, go on Dragons Den.

And for that reason, I'm in!!!!!!

You might want to rephrase that "

My dad was on Dragons Den with a hold all and a shotgun.

Peter Jones asked about his business plan and dad replied "it's very simple Peter, put all the money in the bag".

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