FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Manners cost nothing
Manners cost nothing
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"You can't have it both ways." The truth is, they can! | |||
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" If you are too lazy to write a comprehensive profile " pot, kettle and sumit else.. hope they take a tip and copy yours.. you seemed to have taken ages on it 
don't send messages if sending them annoys you so. | |||
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"Sorry but I don't accept the "I'm too busy/popular/arrogant/illiterate to reply to your emails. If you don't get a reply it means I am not interested." I am fed up with writing proper messages to people whose profile I have carefully read and only responded if I match what they are looking for, only for them to be deleted without a response. Girls - if you want less emails then be more specific in your profiles. If you are too lazy to write a comprehensive profile then you should expect lots of mail - all of which you should reply to. That is if you have any manners and expect to be treated with the same manners back. You can't have it both ways." oops did santa not bring what you had asked for??  | |||
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"Sorry but I don't accept the "I'm too busy/popular/arrogant/illiterate to reply to your emails. If you don't get a reply it means I am not interested." I am fed up with writing proper messages to people whose profile I have carefully read and only responded if I match what they are looking for, only for them to be deleted without a response. Girls - if you want less emails then be more specific in your profiles. If you are too lazy to write a comprehensive profile then you should expect lots of mail - all of which you should reply to. That is if you have any manners and expect to be treated with the same manners back. You can't have it both ways." Sorry Sir. I do reply to all sensible messages but if I received one written in this 'tone' Id be hitting the delete button too | |||
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" If you are too lazy to write a comprehensive profile pot, kettle and sumit else.. hope they take a tip and copy yours.. you seemed to have taken ages on it
don't send messages if sending them annoys you so."Ahh it's so useful taking things out of context. I said if they are too lazy to write a comprehensive profile AND then complain too many people reply as it is so broad reaching. Still no justification for deleted email without a reply. | |||
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"Sorry but I don't accept the "I'm too busy/popular/arrogant/illiterate to reply to your emails. If you don't get a reply it means I am not interested." I am fed up with writing proper messages to people whose profile I have carefully read and only responded if I match what they are looking for, only for them to be deleted without a response. Girls - if you want less emails then be more specific in your profiles. If you are too lazy to write a comprehensive profile then you should expect lots of mail - all of which you should reply to. That is if you have any manners and expect to be treated with the same manners back. You can't have it both ways." what a little charmer you are coming accross as! fact of the matter is a woman could have the most comprehensive profile going and yet still get messages from people who do not meet their requirements as a lot of peope dont read the profile text. on another point - people can do as they choose to do and if they choose not to reply to your messages then so be it, dont lose any sleep over it and move on to the next one happy swinging | |||
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" Girls - if you want less emails then be more specific in your profiles. If you are too lazy to write a comprehensive profile then you should expect lots of mail - all of which you should reply to. That is if you have any manners and expect to be treated with the same manners back. You can't have it both ways." To be honest, it doesn't make any difference. Long profile/short profile... many people don't bother to read it. I have war and peace and I still get a million PMs with one liners, winks and friend requests from people who haven't bothered to read my profile. Suck it up... it's life as we know it in the world of swinging! | |||
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"Sorry but I don't accept the "I'm too busy/popular/arrogant/illiterate to reply to your emails. If you don't get a reply it means I am not interested." I am fed up with writing proper messages to people whose profile I have carefully read and only responded if I match what they are looking for, only for them to be deleted without a response. Girls - if you want less emails then be more specific in your profiles. If you are too lazy to write a comprehensive profile then you should expect lots of mail - all of which you should reply to. That is if you have any manners and expect to be treated with the same manners back. You can't have it both ways. Sorry Sir. I do reply to all sensible messages but if I received one written in this 'tone' Id be hitting the delete button too "LOL I wouldn't write an introduction email in this tone! Don't we all have many tones with which to write emails? You woudln't write to the Council in the same tone as a letter of complaint to a shop, as you would to a potential date!  | |||
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"You can't have it both ways. The truth is, they can!" ^^^^^^  | |||
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" LOL I wouldn't write an introduction email in this tone! Don't we all have many tones with which to write emails? You woudln't write to the Council in the same tone as a letter of complaint to a shop, as you would to a potential date! "Maybe you could start a masterclass and show everyone how it is done?  | |||
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" LOL I wouldn't write an introduction email in this tone! Don't we all have many tones with which to write emails? You woudln't write to the Council in the same tone as a letter of complaint to a shop, as you would to a potential date!
Maybe you could start a masterclass and show everyone how it is done? "or boil his own head  | |||
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" Still no justification for deleted email without a reply." I can think of one... | |||
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"Sorry but I don't accept the "I'm too busy/popular/arrogant/illiterate to reply to your emails. If you don't get a reply it means I am not interested." I am fed up with writing proper messages to people whose profile I have carefully read and only responded if I match what they are looking for, only for them to be deleted without a response. Girls - if you want less emails then be more specific in your profiles. If you are too lazy to write a comprehensive profile then you should expect lots of mail - all of which you should reply to. That is if you have any manners and expect to be treated with the same manners back. You can't have it both ways." Why do you write all these messages in the first place? Why write any? Why not practise what you preach and write a nice detailed profile and let them contact you? Expecting or demanding anything from someone is NOT exactly good manners either  | |||
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"My profile is hidden, how much more specific can I be? Yet still there are mails winks and friends requests today. "How do you wink a hidden profile?!
*goes to try* | |||
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"what a little charmer you are coming accross as! fact of the matter is a woman could have the most comprehensive profile going and yet still get messages from people who do not meet their requirements as a lot of peope dont read the profile text. on another point - people can do as they choose to do and if they choose not to reply to your messages then so be it, dont lose any sleep over it and move on to the next one happy swinging "Sure, I see your point. If someone has written a detailed profile and then still gets unsuitable emails from people who have obviously not read it, then a delete without reply is fair enough. I am specifically talking about people who write a broad profile, complain about the amount of mail theuy get and then not bother replying. | |||
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"My profile is hidden, how much more specific can I be? Yet still there are mails winks and friends requests today.
How do you wink a hidden profile?!
*goes to try*"Ooooooooooh it works still! I've never noticed that before!
*waves to Laine*
That's the first ever wink I've sent here!! Consider yourself honoured! | |||
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"I have tried to answer all my messages but sometimes I get way too many and from people that either haven't read my profile or send one liners like fancy a fuck I had tried to even give a polite reply to these only to get more messages back so when do you think its ok to stop answering these sort of messages I have manners and I admit I hate just deleting some messages but really haven't time to answer all." One liners and fancy a fuck are fair game for deletion. I never said they weren't! | |||
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"My profile is hidden, how much more specific can I be? Yet still there are mails winks and friends requests today.
How do you wink a hidden profile?!
*goes to try*
Ooooooooooh it works still! I've never noticed that before!
*waves to Laine*
That's the first ever wink I've sent here!! Consider yourself honoured! "Thank you, thank you, thank you! | |||
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"what a little charmer you are coming accross as! fact of the matter is a woman could have the most comprehensive profile going and yet still get messages from people who do not meet their requirements as a lot of peope dont read the profile text. on another point - people can do as they choose to do and if they choose not to reply to your messages then so be it, dont lose any sleep over it and move on to the next one happy swinging
Sure, I see your point. If someone has written a detailed profile and then still gets unsuitable emails from people who have obviously not read it, then a delete without reply is fair enough.
I am specifically talking about people who write a broad profile, complain about the amount of mail theuy get and then not bother replying."in that case the second part of my reply comes into play, like brummijac says - there are no rules that say that all mail must be replied to. yes i can understand its annoying and i personally do try to reply to all my mail but do i get annoyed when i reply to someone showing my face pic ad they never reply?? nope cos life is way to short to get all het up about such things
take a step back and enjoy the responses you do get | |||
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"Sorry but I don't accept the "I'm too busy/popular/arrogant/illiterate to reply to your emails. If you don't get a reply it means I am not interested." I am fed up with writing proper messages to people whose profile I have carefully read and only responded if I match what they are looking for, only for them to be deleted without a response. Girls - if you want less emails then be more specific in your profiles. If you are too lazy to write a comprehensive profile then you should expect lots of mail - all of which you should reply to. That is if you have any manners and expect to be treated with the same manners back. You can't have it both ways." Why worry about what others do? Why try to tell people who they should reply to? Who made you god? Your one of those guys who doesn't have a clue what women are all about i guess lmao. | |||
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" To be honest, it doesn't make any difference. Long profile/short profile... many people don't bother to read it. I have war and peace and I still get a million PMs with one liners, winks and friend requests from people who haven't bothered to read my profile. Suck it up... it's life as we know it in the world of swinging! "You have a great profile and I'm sorry to see you still get messages from people who haven't read it, or worse, have read it, are unsuitable, and still write. I am well aware of life in swinging - I was just having a rant at the bad manners out there! | |||
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"My profile is hidden, how much more specific can I be? Yet still there are mails winks and friends requests today.
How do you wink a hidden profile?!
*goes to try*
Ooooooooooh it works still! I've never noticed that before!
*waves to Laine*
That's the first ever wink I've sent here!! Consider yourself honoured!
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
"Nooooooooo... thank you! I just perved your pics!! *goes to the gym*  | |||
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"being honest if the person who decides to send me a message and haven't bothered to read my profile, sorry but that's not my problem is it " Which is exactly what I said in my original post. Thank you. If someone has read a profile and writes only if they meet the criteria specified AND THEN doesn't get a reply - that's what is unacceptable. As I said all along - if they write having ignored what you are asking for then why indeed should you reply? | |||
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" If you are too lazy to write a comprehensive profile pot, kettle and sumit else.. hope they take a tip and copy yours.. you seemed to have taken ages on it
Why do we have to reply, give us ladies a real reason, not that it is not polite, just why we have to reply, and not just delete the message?
I take it you dont get many replies to your messages, have a think about why? And stop moaning, at least you know it it was deleted they are not interested.
don't send messages if sending them annoys you so.
Ahh it's so useful taking things out of context.
I said if they are too lazy to write a comprehensive profile AND then complain too many people reply as it is so broad reaching.
Still no justification for deleted email without a reply." | |||
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" If you are too lazy to write a comprehensive profile pot, kettle and sumit else.. hope they take a tip and copy yours.. you seemed to have taken ages on it
Why do we have to reply, give us ladies a real reason, not that it is not polite, just why we have to reply, and not just delete the message?
I take it you dont get many replies to your messages, have a think about why? And stop moaning, at least you know it it was deleted they are not interested.
don't send messages if sending them annoys you so.
Ahh it's so useful taking things out of context.
I said if they are too lazy to write a comprehensive profile AND then complain too many people reply as it is so broad reaching.
Still no justification for deleted email without a reply." | |||
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"Why should I reply to messages when people cant bother to read my profile. I reply to the ones that interest me and that we have a chance of meeting. Those who just wnta quicky, who are married or want phone sex or a cam wank can take a run and jump. " You shouldn't - never said you should. | |||
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"Sometimes people take the time to read my profile and then write a well thought out response. I generally do reply to them. However, just because they have answered all the questions etc., it still doesn't mean that I want to meet them. I look for a spark. You may be able to tick a lot of boxes but if the spark isn't there then it makes no odds. People are funny. Some are rude. Some are like trying to get blood out of a stone with any sort of conversation. Others tell lies. You just have take the rough with the smooth and rather than moan about it, walk on by and try someone else. "Goodness me I never said you should want to meet them just because they ticked the right boxes. As you said, you generally do reply even to say thanks but no thanks. This shows you have good manners. Other posters think that is beneath them! | |||
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"If anyone sends unsolicited e mails to anyone what right do they have to expect a reply? The op in dome of his further posts said "still no justification of no reply" what a load of bollocks sorry does he reply to spam e mails and junk mail? No This thread has only served to do him harm Swinging isn't a quick fix shag it takes work time patience and a lot of luck " PMSL - and how do you class a message responding to a profile INVITING replies as unsolicited. You really made my day with that one! Brilliant! | |||
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" Goodness me I never said you should want to meet them just because they ticked the right boxes. As you said, you generally do reply even to say thanks but no thanks. This shows you have good manners. Other posters think that is beneath them!" That last part is your _iew. My _iew on it is that your patience only lasts a certain amount of time. I'm now at the stage where I do delete messages without a response. I used to reply to the one liners in text speak because I am polite and that's the way I was brought up. However, it wears you down when you're doing it all the time. It's not about having no manners, because I still have those, I just don't have the time or the inclination to respond to everyone any more. You're really not doing yourself any favours because suggesting that people here have no manners is not accurate and you have nothing to base that theory on other than their responses to you and given your rant in your opening post, what did you really expect? Everyone to agree with you? Welcome to the world of the forum. Thick skin and the ability to read what you write in the same way that other people will read it are a total bonus.  | |||
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" meant tongue in cheek "That's ok then! | |||
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"If anyone sends unsolicited e mails to anyone what right do they have to expect a reply? The op in dome of his further posts said "still no justification of no reply" what a load of bollocks sorry does he reply to spam e mails and junk mail? No This thread has only served to do him harm Swinging isn't a quick fix shag it takes work time patience and a lot of luck PMSL - and how do you class a message responding to a profile INVITING replies as unsolicited. You really made my day with that one! Brilliant! "Just to help you out a bit and maybe to get you to understand a bit better, the following is cut & pasted from the FAQ page - "There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages! It's not rude not to reply. Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you can safely assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?" | |||
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"Sorry but I don't accept the "I'm too busy/popular/arrogant/illiterate to reply to your emails. If you don't get a reply it means I am not interested." I am fed up with writing proper messages to people whose profile I have carefully read and only responded if I match what they are looking for, only for them to be deleted without a response. Girls - if you want less emails then be more specific in your profiles. If you are too lazy to write a comprehensive profile then you should expect lots of mail - all of which you should reply to. That is if you have any manners and expect to be treated with the same manners back. You can't have it both ways." What this post says to me is, you perceive yourself to be 'good mannered' and it absolutely horrifies you that some women are audacious enough to pass you by. It makes you come across as petulant and foot stamping. Sorry, you may have the most impeccable manners but the entirely wrong attitude. | |||
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"being honest if the person who decides to send me a message and haven't bothered to read my profile, sorry but that's not my problem is it Which is exactly what I said in my original post . Thank you. If someone has read a profile and writes only if they meet the criteria specified AND THEN doesn't get a reply - that's what is unacceptable. As I said all along - if they write having ignored what you are asking for then why indeed should you reply?" To be honest I tend to reply to the ones that are definitely not what I'm looking for with a sorry not my type. But struggle with the ones that I like the look of or sound of especially when I have no time to play with them, tend to leave them unanswered while I think what to say and then get forgotten about when a load more messages come in and that mail disappears off the page. Any ideas would be appreciated could do with a holding bay. I tend to find that if I reply I get pressured to met but I don't meet every week as have busy family/work life too. | |||
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"That last part is your _iew. My _iew on it is that your patience only lasts a certain amount of time. I'm now at the stage where I do delete messages without a response. I used to reply to the one liners in text speak because I am polite and that's the way I was brought up. However, it wears you down when you're doing it all the time. It's not about having no manners, because I still have those, I just don't have the time or the inclination to respond to everyone any more. You're really not doing yourself any favours because suggesting that people here have no manners is not accurate and you have nothing to base that theory on other than their responses to you and given your rant in your opening post, what did you really expect? Everyone to agree with you? Welcome to the world of the forum. Thick skin and the ability to read what you write in the same way that other people will read it are a total bonus. "The whole thing is only my _iew! I love the banter and replies to this forum post. I originally said that only the people who didn't reply to well thought-out emails in response to a profile were ill mannered. All sorts of people jumped down my throat - so I say if the cap fits, wear it! Other people, like yourself, were able to give erudite replies and hold a decent conversation thread. Variety is the spice of life! | |||
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" If you are too lazy to write a comprehensive profile then you should expect lots of mail - all of which you should reply to. That is if you have any manners and expect to be treated with the same manners back. You can't have it both ways." The self-righteousness is big in this post. By the way, your profile sucks, you should expect no emails. | |||
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"What this post says to me is, you perceive yourself to be 'good mannered' and it absolutely horrifies you that some women are audacious enough to pass you by. It makes you come across as petulant and foot stamping. Sorry, you may have the most impeccable manners but the entirely wrong attitude." Again - sorry you are wrong or haven't read my original post properly. Where did you think I complained that people passed me by? I complained about a lack of reply to an email. Obviously, it would have been a thanks but no thanks email, but a reply nevertheless. | |||
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"What this post says to me is, you perceive yourself to be 'good mannered' and it absolutely horrifies you that some women are audacious enough to pass you by. It makes you come across as petulant and foot stamping. Sorry, you may have the most impeccable manners but the entirely wrong attitude. Again - sorry you are wrong or haven't read my original post properly. Where did you think I complained that people passed me by? I complained about a lack of reply to an email. Obviously, it would have been a thanks but no thanks email, but a reply nevertheless." FAQ Page is great! "There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages! It's not rude not to reply. Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you can safely assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?" ;-) | |||
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"What this post says to me is, you perceive yourself to be 'good mannered' and it absolutely horrifies you that some women are audacious enough to pass you by. It makes you come across as petulant and foot stamping. Sorry, you may have the most impeccable manners but the entirely wrong attitude. Again - sorry you are wrong or haven't read my original post properly. Where did you think I complained that people passed me by? I complained about a lack of reply to an email. Obviously, it would have been a thanks but no thanks email, but a reply nevertheless." I mean passed you by in the sense of a non-reply to a mail you send, not pass you by in person. | |||
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"I had this convo with a man at a club one night. He said he answered every message he got. i can imagine he probably got 2 a day lol. At the time i had a single account and seriously could get 50-100 messages a day. Even if it took one minute to read and reply that was 50-100 mins a night i just didnt have, so what i did was scroll down and delete all the ones outside my stated age. Then all the ones with cock profile pics. then all the black ones not cus im racist, its just not my thing and said so on my profile, then they ones who live at the other end of the country to me. this would take it to about 5 which i would read and reply to...easy!!!" Absolutely - we are in agreement. If people write who are outside your specified age range, or other criteria you set, then deleting without replying is fair enough. I never said anything different. | |||
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"The self-righteousness is big in this post. By the way, your profile sucks, you should expect no emails." Ahh insult-slinging. The last resort of the ignorant. | |||
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"What about the messages from people ( normaly single males sorry) who seem to have not read profile and send u unwanted messages and freinds invites. should we reply to all of those explining why we are not interested or just delete and ignore. Surely it'sas bad manners to just not read what has been written then as you claim to not answer " Did you read my original post?! | |||
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"No member has the right to expect a reply to the messages they send on this site, the sooner people get used to this the better their Fabswingers experience will become." Can't agree more there are those thta get shirty when u don't reply and send u anther message asking why lol | |||
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"Or sending a friends request without even sending an email just to look at your pics how very rude" i get that alot i just delete
like in chat i ignore any pm's if people havent read my profile and u can tell | |||
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"What about the messages from people ( normaly single males sorry) who seem to have not read profile and send u unwanted messages and freinds invites. should we reply to all of those explining why we are not interested or just delete and ignore. Surely it'sas bad manners to just not read what has been written then as you claim to not answer Did you read my original post?! "Did you read any of my posts? I am trying to help you out here, but it is getting more difficult (refrained from using the word "harder") by the minute! | |||
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"No member has the right to expect a reply to the messages they send on this site, the sooner people get used to this the better their Fabswingers experience will become." So please can you explain why you think that it is acceptable not to reply to a message written in response to an invitation on a profile. Assuming the criteria in the profile have been met. | |||
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"Did you read any of my posts? I am trying to help you out here, but it is getting more difficult (refrained from using the word "harder") by the minute! "Of course I have. Just that baldersandboss doesn't seem to have read (or understood) my original post. | |||
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"No member has the right to expect a reply to the messages they send on this site, the sooner people get used to this the better their Fabswingers experience will become. So please can you explain why you think that it is acceptable not to reply to a message written in response to an invitation on a profile. Assuming the criteria in the profile have been met." I don't have to explain anything, instead I would invite you to show me exactly where the Fabswingers owners guarantee you replies to your messages anywhere on this site. | |||
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"No member has the right to expect a reply to the messages they send on this site, the sooner people get used to this the better their Fabswingers experience will become. So please can you explain why you think that it is acceptable not to reply to a message written in response to an invitation on a profile. Assuming the criteria in the profile have been met. I don't have to explain anything, instead I would invite you to show me exactly where the Fabswingers owners guarantee you replies to your messages anywhere on this site." i bet you a bottle of wine this will never happen | |||
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"No member has the right to expect a reply to the messages they send on this site, the sooner people get used to this the better their Fabswingers experience will become." You will find the same people who complain about not getting a message will hang up on tellysales people, ignore people making collections for charity and not reply to every piece of junk mail they receive through the post! WOW there are some 2 faced people about. | |||
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"No member has the right to expect a reply to the messages they send on this site, the sooner people get used to this the better their Fabswingers experience will become. So please can you explain why you think that it is acceptable not to reply to a message written in response to an invitation on a profile. Assuming the criteria in the profile have been met." Unless the profile specifically states dirtyharry69 contact me, you have no right to expect a reply. | |||
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"Did you read any of my posts? I am trying to help you out here, but it is getting more difficult (refrained from using the word "harder") by the minute!
Of course I have. Just that baldersandboss doesn't seem to have read (or understood) my original post."It doesn't matter if you match their requirements 100% - they (as in anyone you mail) still don't have to reply to your messages, you are getting yourself all worked up over very little. The answer from the FAQ page still applies! | |||
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"No member has the right to expect a reply to the messages they send on this site, the sooner people get used to this the better their Fabswingers experience will become. So please can you explain why you think that it is acceptable not to reply to a message written in response to an invitation on a profile. Assuming the criteria in the profile have been met. I don't have to explain anything, instead I would invite you to show me exactly where the Fabswingers owners guarantee you replies to your messages anywhere on this site. i bet you a bottle of wine this will never happen "cant you just share a bottle with me xx | |||
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"I don't have to explain anything, instead I would invite you to show me exactly where the Fabswingers owners guarantee you replies to your messages anywhere on this site." Ok well I thought you might have a logical or well formed argument to backup your _iew that replies are not good manners. Obviously you don't. Secondly it has nothing to do with the site owners' guarantee. It has to do with good manners and etiquette. | |||
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"I don't have to explain anything, instead I would invite you to show me exactly where the Fabswingers owners guarantee you replies to your messages anywhere on this site. Ok well I thought you might have a logical or well formed argument to backup your _iew that replies are not good manners. Obviously you don't. Secondly it has nothing to do with the site owners' guarantee. It has to do with good manners and etiquette." I give up!  | |||
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"I was very ill mannered last night... ...I put out a bowl of mixed nuts and picked out the macademias first. I just can't share them! " lol | |||
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" You will find the same people who complain about not getting a message will hang up on tellysales people, ignore people making collections for charity and not reply to every piece of junk mail they receive through the post! WOW there are some 2 faced people about." Sorry for repeating myself but you have trouble understanding that a message written in response to an invitation on a profile is NOT unsolicited - it is very much solicited. | |||
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"I don't have to explain anything, instead I would invite you to show me exactly where the Fabswingers owners guarantee you replies to your messages anywhere on this site. Ok well I thought you might have a logical or well formed argument to backup your _iew that replies are not good manners. Obviously you don't. Secondly it has nothing to do with the site owners' guarantee. It has to do with good manners and etiquette." Come back to me when you yourself have in excess of thirty messages sent to you in a day......Then we can speak on a level playing field. Sorry but you have to be in that position to appreciate the problem. | |||
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"I give up! "This is probably a smart course of action. There are some things you just can't help with! Now... I'm sure there are other things you can help with?! | |||
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"The self-righteousness is big in this post. By the way, your profile sucks, you should expect no emails. Ahh insult-slinging. The last resort of the ignorant. "ok ok THIS is the best response so far | |||
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"I give up!
This is probably a smart course of action. There are some things you just can't help with! Now... I'm sure there are other things you can help with?! "I'm sure there are too!
Be there asap | |||
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"i agree with Jane x " oy u still not offered me any wine yet lol... | |||
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"Come back to me when you yourself have in excess of thirty messages sent to you in a day......Then we can speak on a level playing field. Sorry but you have to be in that position to appreciate the problem." Do you have in excess of thirty messages per day ALL OF WHICH match the criteria you specify in your profile? eg age 23-40, within 80miles of you, who can accomodate, are non-smokers but not travelling businessmen??? As I have said all along - people outside those criteria deserve to have their message deleted. However; if they have met your requirements, but you still don't want to take things further, from the original thirty you started with, surely they warrant a reply saying thanks but no thanks? | |||
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" If you are too lazy to write a comprehensive profile pot, kettle and sumit else.. hope they take a tip and copy yours.. you seemed to have taken ages on it
don't send messages if sending them annoys you so.
Ahh it's so useful taking things out of context.
I said if they are too lazy to write a comprehensive profile AND then complain too many people reply as it is so broad reaching.
Still no justification for deleted email without a reply."Maybe they looked at your photos, decided they didn't fancy you (which would be a box you DIDN'T tick) and thought a reply isn't warranted because it would leave it open to misinterpetation by you that you could somehow change their mind. Perhaps you should only message those whose box you THINK you tick AND whose profile says clearly they WILL RESPOND to all messages. There, how does that suit? I think it just about covers all the angles. | |||
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"I just want to meet a woman and still get e mails from guys and my profiles not a long one !" . Just to show peeps do not read profiles! | |||
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I like you Dances! | |||
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"I just want to meet a woman and still get e mails from guys and my profiles not a long one !" As I have said all along - those responses don't deserve a reply. | |||
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Jodie & Dan
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PS The situation could be largely resolved by providing an automated 'thanks but no thanks' message asmany members have already recommended. | |||
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and no need to reply, I won't think it rude | |||
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I like you Dances! "you rock too missus! | |||
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"good lord.... took the dogs out for a wee walk and this still going on. keep up the good work.. Criminal Minds is on at 3pm, so you have my interest for another 50mins
and no need to reply, I won't think it rude "Hahahaha! I just spat my juice out!! | |||
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"good lord.... took the dogs out for a wee walk and this still going on. keep up the good work.. Criminal Minds is on at 3pm, so you have my interest for another 50mins
and no need to reply, I won't think it rude ". I missed the start of this thread too while I had a little snooze on the sofa! | |||
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"I just want to meet a woman and still get e mails from guys and my profiles not a long one ! . Just to show peeps do not read profiles! "I (beth) have a single fem profile for that very reason, I want FF meets but do you think anyone reads it? I've hardly had any messages from proper Fems, most are like 'yeah but my husband will just want to watch' and stuff like that. | |||
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"As someone has already mentioned, peeps are within their right not to respond to unsolicited messages, no matter how well constructed! Chill and move on, life is too short etc... "he's already explained Pearl that as you have a profile on here any mail IS solicited lol | |||
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" PS The situation could be largely resolved by providing an automated 'thanks but no thanks' message asmany members have already recommended." And you really believe that do you? It would resolve one type of forum thread but would soon start a new trend - "Why do I always get an automated Thanks but No Thanks reply to my well crafted, well thought out messages when I match all their meet criteria?" ;-) | |||
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"As someone has already mentioned, peeps are within their right not to respond to unsolicited messages, no matter how well constructed! Chill and move on, life is too short etc... "Can you explain why you think a profile INVITING responses results in unsolicited messages? They are very much SOLICITED and not junk mail! | |||
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"I just want to meet a woman and still get e mails from guys and my profiles not a long one ! . Just to show peeps do not read profiles!
I (beth) have a single fem profile for that very reason, I want FF meets but do you think anyone reads it? I've hardly had any messages from proper Fems, most are like 'yeah but my husband will just want to watch' and stuff like that.
"i had one before who wanted the hubby to come along and whos there for me just me its not right x | |||
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" PS The situation could be largely resolved by providing an automated 'thanks but no thanks' message asmany members have already recommended. And you really believe that do you? It would resolve one type of forum thread but would soon start a new trend - "Why do I always get an automated Thanks but No Thanks reply to my well crafted, well thought out messages when I match all their meet criteria?" ;-) " Yes I agree that wouldn't work. | |||
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" They are very much SOLICITED and not junk mail!" That's subjective though isn't it? The sender may think it's solicited... I however may think its junk mail! It's all in the eye of the beholder really. Now as much as this has been entertaining... I have juice to clean off my keyboard and breakfast to make! | |||
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" PS The situation could be largely resolved by providing an automated 'thanks but no thanks' message asmany members have already recommended." oooohh...I know I know....why don't we assume that a nil response is an equivalent to someone hitting the 'no thanks' button?! there you go! problem solved. move on peeps, nothing to see here...answer has been well and truly provided by yours truly | |||
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" PS The situation could be largely resolved by providing an automated 'thanks but no thanks' message asmany members have already recommended. And you really believe that do you? It would resolve one type of forum thread but would soon start a new trend - "Why do I always get an automated Thanks but No Thanks reply to my well crafted, well thought out messages when I match all their meet criteria?" ;-) Yes I agree that wouldn't work." At last you agree with my well crafted, well thought out reply to your OP!
It would however be good if you could agree that no matter how many times you say you want replies to all your messages you are never gonna get them! | |||
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"Can you explain why you think a profile INVITING responses results in unsolicited messages? They are very much SOLICITED and not junk mail!" . Just because my home address is listed somewhere does not entitle peeps to send me unwanted mail through the post! Just because I have a mobile phone or landline, it does not mean peeps can text/ring me to sell me life insurance or whatever products they want to sell. Is it really THAT hard to understand?! | |||
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I have stuff to do!!
*steps away from laptop*
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"May I post a question about manners.. if you open a thread asking for opinions on something.. is it rude not to answer every post? and multiple posts from same user. they would not be unsolicited answers, as they were very much asked for. just wondering ". PMSL! | |||
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" They are very much SOLICITED and not junk mail! That's subjective though isn't it? The sender may think it's solicited... I however may think its junk mail! It's all in the eye of the beholder really. Now as much as this has been entertaining... I have juice to clean off my keyboard and breakfast to make! "Sorry I disagree. If a profile invites a response then it's not unsolicited. Of course we are not talking about profiles which say "not meeting right now" or "taking a break" or, where the criteria are not met. Most profiles are there to invite replies. | |||
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" PS The situation could be largely resolved by providing an automated 'thanks but no thanks' message asmany members have already recommended. And you really believe that do you? It would resolve one type of forum thread but would soon start a new trend - "Why do I always get an automated Thanks but No Thanks reply to my well crafted, well thought out messages when I match all their meet criteria?" ;-) Yes I agree that wouldn't work. At last you agree with my well crafted, well thought out reply to your OP!
It would however be good if you could agree that no matter how many times you say you want replies to all your messages you are never gonna get them! "I only said it once in my original post. Since then I have been fending off the assaults and insults!!! | |||
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" PS The situation could be largely resolved by providing an automated 'thanks but no thanks' message asmany members have already recommended. And you really believe that do you? It would resolve one type of forum thread but would soon start a new trend - "Why do I always get an automated Thanks but No Thanks reply to my well crafted, well thought out messages when I match all their meet criteria?" ;-) " Who mentioned forum threads? Let's go back to the OP. It may reduce the number of members who feel frustrated by not recieving replies. Also it seems to work in other places and is accepted as a quick [instant] not impolite method of replying to respondents who do not match what you are looking for. | |||
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" They are very much SOLICITED and not junk mail! That's subjective though isn't it? The sender may think it's solicited... I however may think its junk mail! It's all in the eye of the beholder really. Now as much as this has been entertaining... I have juice to clean off my keyboard and breakfast to make!
Sorry I disagree.
If a profile invites a response then it's not unsolicited.
Of course we are not talking about profiles which say "not meeting right now" or "taking a break" or, where the criteria are not met.
Most profiles are there to invite replies."Yeah... from people who fit the bill. As I said previously, you may fit the bill according to your interpretation of the profile you've read but the person reading your mail may think otherwise. Stop losing sleep over people who don't reply. Suck it up, accept that rudeness (as you see it) is part and parcel and move on. Like I said hours ago! | |||
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Miss B | |||
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" PS The situation could be largely resolved by providing an automated 'thanks but no thanks' message asmany members have already recommended. And you really believe that do you? It would resolve one type of forum thread but would soon start a new trend - "Why do I always get an automated Thanks but No Thanks reply to my well crafted, well thought out messages when I match all their meet criteria?" ;-) Who mentioned forum threads? Let's go back to the OP. It may reduce the number of members who feel frustrated by not recieving replies. Also it seems to work in other places and is accepted as a quick [instant] not impolite method of replying to respondents who do not match what you are looking for." I mentioned Forum Threads
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"May I post a question about manners.. if you open a thread asking for opinions on something.. is it rude not to answer every post? and multiple posts from same user. they would not be unsolicited answers, as they were very much asked for. just wondering "It's not the same, as well you know! Presumably your argument would go as far as a TV advert asking "are your whites as white as they can be?" and if not all of the six million people watching reply then it's rude. It's not the same! | |||
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" PS The situation could be largely resolved by providing an automated 'thanks but no thanks' message asmany members have already recommended. oooohh...I know I know....why don't we assume that a nil response is an equivalent to someone hitting the 'no thanks' button?! there you go! problem solved. move on peeps, nothing to see here...answer has been well and truly provided by yours truly" Dear Op, you never responded to my comment! how very rude!  | |||
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"May I post a question about manners.. if you open a thread asking for opinions on something.. is it rude not to answer every post? and multiple posts from same user. they would not be unsolicited answers, as they were very much asked for. just wondering
It's not the same, as well you know!
Presumably your argument would go as far as a TV advert asking "are your whites as white as they can be?" and if not all of the six million people watching reply then it's rude.
It's not the same! "Have a wank.......far less stressfull | |||
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"*yawn* waits for next "Rude people who don't reply" thread! How many of these are we going to see before we are forced to reply to every Tom dick and Harry who messages us, get a life and get over it!!!! You shouldn't be on a swinging site if you don't like the taste of rejection! " On the conrary, it's not the taste of rejection but the taste of bad-manners. | |||
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" PS The situation could be largely resolved by providing an automated 'thanks but no thanks' message asmany members have already recommended. oooohh...I know I know....why don't we assume that a nil response is an equivalent to someone hitting the 'no thanks' button?! there you go! problem solved. move on peeps, nothing to see here...answer has been well and truly provided by yours truly" To assume makes an ass out of you and umption That would lead to loads of people [ok, ok. single guys] thinking 'Did my message get through'; 'Perhaps they haven't seen it';'Perhaps they deleted it in error'; 'I'll just send another one....and another.....and another' | |||
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" PS The situation could be largely resolved by providing an automated 'thanks but no thanks' message asmany members have already recommended. oooohh...I know I know....why don't we assume that a nil response is an equivalent to someone hitting the 'no thanks' button?! there you go! problem solved. move on peeps, nothing to see here...answer has been well and truly provided by yours truly" No that wouldn't work. | |||
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"May I post a question about manners.. if you open a thread asking for opinions on something.. is it rude not to answer every post? and multiple posts from same user. they would not be unsolicited answers, as they were very much asked for. just wondering
It's not the same, as well you know!
Presumably your argument would go as far as a TV advert asking "are your whites as white as they can be?" and if not all of the six million people watching reply then it's rude.
It's not the same!
Have a wank.......far less stressfull "View. You crack us up | |||
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"Allow me to twist the argument.... Is it not equally bad manners to send a message to a member when you clearly do not meet the criteria laid out on their profile? I get such messages day after day after day.....but I don't start up pointless threads about it, because just like not replying to messages it is not against site rules to ignore profiles before mailing. " Yes it is bad manners to reply to a profile if you don't meet the criteria. No I didn't start a thread about it. | |||
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"Have a wank.......far less stressfull
View. You crack us up "my work here is done | |||
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" Dear Op, you never responded to my comment! how very rude! ". Same here! | |||
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"May I post a question about manners.. if you open a thread asking for opinions on something.. is it rude not to answer every post? and multiple posts from same user. they would not be unsolicited answers, as they were very much asked for. just wondering
It's not the same, as well you know!
Presumably your argument would go as far as a TV advert asking "are your whites as white as they can be?" and if not all of the six million people watching reply then it's rude.
It's not the same! "Off course it’s the same, if you contact someone after reading their profile it’s unsolicited, unless of course the profile asks everyone inside their criteria that has read the profile must send a message. However if you read an ad they have placed either in the forum, or via the meets and events section and replied to such ad then that could be deemed as solicited. | |||
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"Allow me to twist the argument.... Is it not equally bad manners to send a message to a member when you clearly do not meet the criteria laid out on their profile? I get such messages day after day after day.....but I don't start up pointless threads about it, because just like not replying to messages it is not against site rules to ignore profiles before mailing. " Fair play Jane. That is indeed bad manners. To us that says 'I/We have/haven't read your profile. Who cares. Messaging you anyway. Worth a punt. Might get a shag'. I think the OP concedes this point. | |||
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"Allow me to twist the argument.... Is it not equally bad manners to send a message to a member when you clearly do not meet the criteria laid out on their profile? I get such messages day after day after day.....but I don't start up pointless threads about it, because just like not replying to messages it is not against site rules to ignore profiles before mailing. Fair play Jane. That is indeed bad manners. To us that says 'I/We have/haven't read your profile. Who cares. Messaging you anyway. Worth a punt. Might get a shag'. I think the OP concedes this point." but he has already said that he is messaging people whose criteria he fits | |||
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"May I post a question about manners.. if you open a thread asking for opinions on something.. is it rude not to answer every post? and multiple posts from same user. they would not be unsolicited answers, as they were very much asked for. just wondering
It's not the same, as well you know!
Presumably your argument would go as far as a TV advert asking "are your whites as white as they can be?" and if not all of the six million people watching reply then it's rude.
It's not the same!
Off course it’s the same, if you contact someone after reading their profile it’s unsolicited, unless of course the profile asks everyone inside their criteria that has read the profile must send a message.
However if you read an ad they have placed either in the forum, or via the meets and events section and replied to such ad then that could be deemed as solicited.
"Which is what I said all along when the comment about unsolicited emails came up. | |||
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"Allow me to twist the argument.... Is it not equally bad manners to send a message to a member when you clearly do not meet the criteria laid out on their profile? I get such messages day after day after day.....but I don't start up pointless threads about it, because just like not replying to messages it is not against site rules to ignore profiles before mailing. Fair play Jane. That is indeed bad manners. To us that says 'I/We have/haven't read your profile. Who cares. Messaging you anyway. Worth a punt. Might get a shag'. I think the OP concedes this point. but he has already said that he is messaging people whose criteria he fits" He just can't grasp the fact that replies are not guaranteed. The bastard who won the lottery from my area never answered my begging letter recently....even though he let everyone know who he was by announcing it in the local newspaper....grrrrrr | |||
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"He just can't grasp the fact that replies are not guaranteed. The bastard who won the lottery from my area never answered my begging letter recently....even though he let everyone know who he was by announcing it in the local newspaper....grrrrrr "I never said they were guaranteed. | |||
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"He just can't grasp the fact that replies are not guaranteed. The bastard who won the lottery from my area never answered my begging letter recently....even though he let everyone know who he was by announcing it in the local newspaper....grrrrrr
I never said they were guaranteed."Then get used to it before it drives you mad...... | |||
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"Allow me to twist the argument.... Is it not equally bad manners to send a message to a member when you clearly do not meet the criteria laid out on their profile? I get such messages day after day after day.....but I don't start up pointless threads about it, because just like not replying to messages it is not against site rules to ignore profiles before mailing. Fair play Jane. That is indeed bad manners. To us that says 'I/We have/haven't read your profile. Who cares. Messaging you anyway. Worth a punt. Might get a shag'. I think the OP concedes this point. but he has already said that he is messaging people whose criteria he fits He just can't grasp the fact that replies are not guaranteed. The bastard who won the lottery from my area never answered my begging letter recently....even though he let everyone know who he was by announcing it in the local newspaper....grrrrrr "Ah Jane, but was he asking for 40-45 year old females from Devon to send him begging letters in the newspaper ad though | |||
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"Allow me to twist the argument.... Is it not equally bad manners to send a message to a member when you clearly do not meet the criteria laid out on their profile? I get such messages day after day after day.....but I don't start up pointless threads about it, because just like not replying to messages it is not against site rules to ignore profiles before mailing. Fair play Jane. That is indeed bad manners. To us that says 'I/We have/haven't read your profile. Who cares. Messaging you anyway. Worth a punt. Might get a shag'. I think the OP concedes this point. but he has already said that he is messaging people whose criteria he fits He just can't grasp the fact that replies are not guaranteed. The bastard who won the lottery from my area never answered my begging letter recently....even though he let everyone know who he was by announcing it in the local newspaper....grrrrrr
Ah Jane, but was he asking for 40-45 year old females from Devon to send him begging letters in the newspaper ad though "He was asking for it by showing himself off.... | |||
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"Let's face, whichever way you dress it up Harry has a point and we can understand his frustration. Similarly, we can understand why some folks, especially single ladies or couples looking for guys, could not possibly reply to every message, wink or friends invite. Nor should they be expected to reply to the latter two if they are unsolicited. Having said all that there really is no reason to be rude/aggressive. A simple line in the profile e.g. 'Please do not send winks etc' would serve as fair warning. Our advice to Harry is to treat it as part of the selection process. Would you want to meet rude/arrogant/agressive people? We do try and reply to everyone. Some replies take longer than others as the reply is always from the both of us therefore we both have to read the message first. We use peoples names if known or nicknames/initials. We do not copy & paste. We are always polite. And guess what? We have never had a bad response. We have only ever recieved polite notes of thanks/appreciation [touch wood]. Lucky? Coincidental? Or getting back what you put in? Just our tuppence worth
Jodie & Dan
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PS The situation could be largely resolved by providing an automated 'thanks but no thanks' message asmany members have already recommended."Hornsters thanks for your post. How ironic that so many posters here haven't read, or understood my original post, or haven't kept up with the replies, and thereby post irrelevant or inflamatory replies themselves! Contrary to what people assume on here, and in defending my _iews in this thread, I don't write aggressive, rude, presumptive or generally idiotic emails to people whose profiles I respond to! | |||
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"but he has already said that he is messaging people whose criteria he fits" . So what? That still does not entitle him to a response! | |||
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"Let's face, whichever way you dress it up Harry has a point and we can understand his frustration. Similarly, we can understand why some folks, especially single ladies or couples looking for guys, could not possibly reply to every message, wink or friends invite. Nor should they be expected to reply to the latter two if they are unsolicited. Having said all that there really is no reason to be rude/aggressive. A simple line in the profile e.g. 'Please do not send winks etc' would serve as fair warning. Our advice to Harry is to treat it as part of the selection process. Would you want to meet rude/arrogant/agressive people? We do try and reply to everyone. Some replies take longer than others as the reply is always from the both of us therefore we both have to read the message first. We use peoples names if known or nicknames/initials. We do not copy & paste. We are always polite. And guess what? We have never had a bad response. We have only ever recieved polite notes of thanks/appreciation [touch wood]. Lucky? Coincidental? Or getting back what you put in? Just our tuppence worth
Jodie & Dan
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PS The situation could be largely resolved by providing an automated 'thanks but no thanks' message asmany members have already recommended.
Hornsters thanks for your post.
How ironic that so many posters here haven't read, or understood my original post, or haven't kept up with the replies, and thereby post irrelevant or inflamatory replies themselves!
Contrary to what people assume on here, and in defending my _iews in this thread, I don't write aggressive, rude, presumptive or generally idiotic emails to people whose profiles I respond to!
"If you don't like our responses then it really wasn't a good idea to post this in an open forum where you WILL get opinions! | |||
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"Well said. It's not a case of bad manners it's a case of making a decision. We have received several well written messages, however Half them are normally from guys which immediately indicates they haven't got past the first line of our profile. Now I'm not suggesting that you arnt paying enough attention but you have to understand that people have a choice, and you putting up a thread like this would only ring alarm bells to me that you don't handle rejection well. An that's not attractive!" As I have said all along here: 1. If people haven't read your profile, or choose to write even though they don't meet the criteria, then they deserve a deleted message, 2. It's not rejection I don't like (goodness we are all old and bold enough to take rejection) what I can't abide is bad manners - ie nor replying to a message even to say thanks but no thanks (and given all the conditions above, which I won't repeat here as you can see them above) | |||
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"How ironic that so many posters here haven't read, or understood my original post, or haven't kept up with the replies, and thereby post irrelevant or inflamatory replies themselves! " . For every action, there is a reaction, as per one of the fundamental laws of physics. I have re-read your original post, and believe the responses it received are in line with the tone it was written. Pot, kettle, are all black! | |||
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"Let's face, whichever way you dress it up Harry has a point and we can understand his frustration. Similarly, we can understand why some folks, especially single ladies or couples looking for guys, could not possibly reply to every message, wink or friends invite. Nor should they be expected to reply to the latter two if they are unsolicited. Having said all that there really is no reason to be rude/aggressive. A simple line in the profile e.g. 'Please do not send winks etc' would serve as fair warning. Our advice to Harry is to treat it as part of the selection process. Would you want to meet rude/arrogant/agressive people? We do try and reply to everyone. Some replies take longer than others as the reply is always from the both of us therefore we both have to read the message first. We use peoples names if known or nicknames/initials. We do not copy & paste. We are always polite. And guess what? We have never had a bad response. We have only ever recieved polite notes of thanks/appreciation [touch wood]. Lucky? Coincidental? Or getting back what you put in? Just our tuppence worth
Jodie & Dan
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PS The situation could be largely resolved by providing an automated 'thanks but no thanks' message asmany members have already recommended.
Hornsters thanks for your post.
How ironic that so many posters here haven't read, or understood my original post, or haven't kept up with the replies, and thereby post irrelevant or inflamatory replies themselves!
Contrary to what people assume on here, and in defending my _iews in this thread, I don't write aggressive, rude, presumptive or generally idiotic emails to people whose profiles I respond to!
If you don't like our responses then it really wasn't a good idea to post this in an open forum where you WILL get opinions! "I never said I didn't like (or expected) the responses I got. Many of them were amusing in their ignorance and resort to insults as the poster obviously had nothing constructive to say. I won't provoke any more mud-slinging by saying which ones - if the cap fits wear it! Some posters were able to reply intelligently and with well thought-out arguments and to those I say thank you! Merry Christmas! | |||
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"160+ posts... not a bad effort for a whinge thread but the result will always be the same as the million whinge threads on the same topic that have gone before it... "Haha yes it was only a whinge thread! I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition. | |||
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"160+ posts... not a bad effort for a whinge thread but the result will always be the same as the million whinge threads on the same topic that have gone before it...
Haha yes it was only a whinge thread!
I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition. "I'm curious as to what you did expect? | |||
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"160+ posts... not a bad effort for a whinge thread but the result will always be the same as the million whinge threads on the same topic that have gone before it... "I was thinking that too...and it's only 2 hours old! must remember this thread for diamonds awards next year. | |||
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"Let's face, whichever way you dress it up Harry has a point and we can understand his frustration. Similarly, we can understand why some folks, especially single ladies or couples looking for guys, could not possibly reply to every message, wink or friends invite. Nor should they be expected to reply to the latter two if they are unsolicited. Having said all that there really is no reason to be rude/aggressive. A simple line in the profile e.g. 'Please do not send winks etc' would serve as fair warning. Our advice to Harry is to treat it as part of the selection process. Would you want to meet rude/arrogant/agressive people? We do try and reply to everyone. Some replies take longer than others as the reply is always from the both of us therefore we both have to read the message first. We use peoples names if known or nicknames/initials. We do not copy & paste. We are always polite. And guess what? We have never had a bad response. We have only ever recieved polite notes of thanks/appreciation [touch wood]. Lucky? Coincidental? Or getting back what you put in? Just our tuppence worth
Jodie & Dan
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PS The situation could be largely resolved by providing an automated 'thanks but no thanks' message asmany members have already recommended.
Hornsters thanks for your post.
How ironic that so many posters here haven't read, or understood my original post, or haven't kept up with the replies, and thereby post irrelevant or inflamatory replies themselves!
Contrary to what people assume on here, and in defending my _iews in this thread, I don't write aggressive, rude, presumptive or generally idiotic emails to people whose profiles I respond to!
If you don't like our responses then it really wasn't a good idea to post this in an open forum where you WILL get opinions!
I never said I didn't like (or expected) the responses I got.
Many of them were amusing in their ignorance and resort to insults as the poster obviously had nothing constructive to say.
I won't provoke any more mud-slinging by saying which ones - if the cap fits wear it!
Some posters were able to reply intelligently and with well thought-out arguments and to those I say thank you!
Merry Christmas!"yup he doesn't take rejection well and as for calling me ignorant and other people lazy... so well mannered | |||
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"yup he doesn't take rejection well and as for calling me ignorant and other people lazy... so well mannered " PMSL - you took it to mean you! | |||
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"yup he doesn't take rejection well and as for calling me ignorant and other people lazy... so well mannered PMSL - you took it to mean you! "yeah........ cause I am a rude fecker... but one who gets his leg over
Merry Christmas back at ya x | |||
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"what a crock of shite , if i dont wanna reply i wont...cant make me "Don't mess about femme. Haven't got time for cryptic messages | |||
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"Sometimes people take the time to read my profile and then write a well thought out response. I generally do reply to them. However, just because they have answered all the questions etc., it still doesn't mean that I want to meet them. I look for a spark. You may be able to tick a lot of boxes but if the spark isn't there then it makes no odds. People are funny. Some are rude. Some are like trying to get blood out of a stone with any sort of conversation. Others tell lies. You just have take the rough with the smooth and rather than moan about it, walk on by and try someone else. ". Great post, so many assume that just because they tick all the superficial boxes that you're compelled to meet them, when I believe it's only a foundation for exploring the possibility further. To the OP, I've every sympathy, esp as you say you take the time to read profiles and make sure you only write to people whose basic requirements you fulfil, but it's a tough old world this swinging one, for females, couples as well as single men | |||
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"but he has already said that he is messaging people whose criteria he fits . So what? That still does not entitle him to a response! "no i know that but there have been people saying that they dont reply to messages from people that dont fit their criteria - i was just trying to relate things back to the OP | |||
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"I'm curious as to what you did expect? "Honestly? Given the intelligence and upbringing of many people on here? Pretty much what I got. Incidentally no offence meant to those who have taken my above comment to apply to themselves. I appreciate the cross-section of people on here is pretty much the same as society in general, and therefore is no more a personal _iew of the members of this forum as it is a reflection of society in general. | |||
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"Great post, so many assume that just because they tick all the superficial boxes that you're compelled to meet them, when I believe it's only a foundation for exploring the possibility further. To the OP, I've every sympathy, esp as you say you take the time to read profiles and make sure you only write to people whose basic requirements you fulfil, but it's a tough old world this swinging one, for females, couples as well as single men "Great post - thank you. | |||
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"but he has already said that he is messaging people whose criteria he fits . So what? That still does not entitle him to a response! "I believe a response would be correct. Can you please explain why you feel it is not needed? | |||
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"but he has already said that he is messaging people whose criteria he fits . So what? That still does not entitle him to a response!
I believe a response would be correct.
Can you please explain why you feel it is not needed?". I already have, however, you either failed to notice or chose to ignore! | |||
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" no i know that but there have been people saying that they dont reply to messages from people that dont fit their criteria - i was just trying to relate things back to the OP "Thank you. | |||
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" Honestly? Given the intelligence and upbringing of many people on here? "why what the feck is wrong with.. borstal from the age of 11-16 for thieving and jail from the age of 17-34 for killing rude folks... I did very well, I will let you know... thank yu very much.. I played the Artful Dodger in the borstal rendition of Oliver ... and I had a walk on part in Bad Girls.. cheeky bugger...... | |||
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" Honestly? Given the intelligence and upbringing of many people on here?
why what the feck is wrong with..
borstal from the age of 11-16 for thieving
and jail from the age of 17-34 for killing rude folks...
I did very well, I will let you know... thank yu very much..
I played the Artful Dodger in the borstal rendition of Oliver ...
and I had a walk on part in Bad Girls..
cheeky bugger......". When I saw that, I knew it would provoke a response or two. Trust you to come up with this! PMSL!!! Stop it peeps, I need to go and get ready to go out, however, I am enjoying this way too much!!! | |||
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"I already have, however, you either failed to notice or chose to ignore! "I have read back through your replies on this thread. I'm afraid I might have missed what you said about that. Would you please be able to point me in the right direction? A simple copy and paste to your earlier post will do - no need to re-write it. Thanks. | |||
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" Still no justification for deleted email without a reply." Funnlly enough, nobody has to 'justify' why they deleted your mail without a reply, in fact if you messaged us asking for any kind of justification, we'd then go on to block you. In fact, just to be on the safe side, you're blocked now and we don't even feel the need to justify that either | |||
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" Still no justification for deleted email without a reply. Funnlly enough, nobody has to 'justify' why they deleted your mail without a reply, in fact if you messaged us asking for any kind of justification, we'd then go on to block you. In fact, just to be on the safe side, you're blocked now and we don't even feel the need to justify that either "Oooh. That's a bit harsh | |||
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" Still no justification for deleted email without a reply. Funnlly enough, nobody has to 'justify' why they deleted your mail without a reply, in fact if you messaged us asking for any kind of justification, we'd then go on to block you. In fact, just to be on the safe side, you're blocked now and we don't even feel the need to justify that either
Oooh. That's a bit harsh "Q.E.D. | |||
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"Can you explain why you think a profile INVITING responses results in unsolicited messages? They are very much SOLICITED and not junk mail! . Just because my home address is listed somewhere does not entitle peeps to send me unwanted mail through the post! Just because I have a mobile phone or landline, it does not mean peeps can text/ring me to sell me life insurance or whatever products they want to sell. Is it really THAT hard to understand?! ". Here's what I posted earlier. | |||
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"How ironic that so many posters here haven't read, or understood my original post, or haven't kept up with the replies, and thereby post irrelevant or inflamatory replies themselves! . For every action, there is a reaction, as per one of the fundamental laws of physics. I have re-read your original post, and believe the responses it received are in line with the tone it was written. Pot, kettle, are all black! ". And here's my other post in respond to your claim that peeps had not read your original post properly etc... | |||
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"Great post, so many assume that just because they tick all the superficial boxes that you're compelled to meet them, when I believe it's only a foundation for exploring the possibility further. To the OP, I've every sympathy, esp as you say you take the time to read profiles and make sure you only write to people whose basic requirements you fulfil, but it's a tough old world this swinging one, for females, couples as well as single men
Great post - thank you."I suspect you appreciated this response as it is the only one, out of a thread over +170 messages, that supports your opinion. Whilst you consider the support, consider that statistic. Also consider the fact then when someone places an ad, it's not implausible to be so inundated with messages that some actually fall of the end of the page (if you're not already aware, only so many messages show in your in-box at any one time and you can't skip pages). In that instance, it is not unreasonable if the person placing the ad just does a mass delete after finding what they are after. I think your _iew is blinkered and despite all the scenarios that have been presented to you, you have refused to see this argument from the other side of the fence and continue with your argument that you are right regardless. You have resorted to questioning the intellect and the breeding of the members of the site and as such, I am slightly confused why you are so concerned by the lack of interest? I could suggest you look to see if you could improve either your message or profile, but as neither will still guarantee a response, there seems little point. I can't say you get out of this site what you put in, as you don't. It is what it is...either learn to accept that or, as is your choice, move on..though, I doubt other sites are any different. | |||
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"Can you explain why you think a profile INVITING responses results in unsolicited messages? They are very much SOLICITED and not junk mail! . Just because my home address is listed somewhere does not entitle peeps to send me unwanted mail through the post! Just because I have a mobile phone or landline, it does not mean peeps can text/ring me to sell me life insurance or whatever products they want to sell. Is it really THAT hard to understand?!
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Here's what I posted earlier. "Thank you. Posting a profile online inviting replies is very different from marketing companies taking your contact details and contacting you without permission. By making a profile on here, specifying what you are looking for and inviting responses by definition you are soliciting replies. Indeed your very proifle asks for a reply, together with a test to see if the reader has taken on board what you wrote. Tell me someting - if someone, who met the criteria you set out in your very comprehensive profile, wrote to you - but you didn't want to take it further - woudln't you reply to say thanks but no thanks? Do you honestly believe that someone who might have taken the time ane trouble to read and take on board your profile, and written a proper message, wouldn't deserve a reply? | |||
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Everyone is different and we all look for different things and we all deal with our swinging time differently. To each their own. It's called living and letting live. You should perhaps give that a bash. | |||
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"And just as another point... (I'd like to say my final word on it but some are so amusing I just can't guarantee it) but when I find someone who has sent me a PM worthy of a response, I do my homework. Which includes reading through their forum posts and in all honesty, when I said earlier that you weren't doing yourself any favours, this is kinda what I meant. By sneering at the intellect and upbringing of your fellow posters simply because they do not agree with you doesn't do a whole lot for your chances and says more about your upbringing than it does about anyone else giving their honest opinion to a question you posed.
Everyone is different and we all look for different things and we all deal with our swinging time differently. To each their own. It's called living and letting live. You should perhaps give that a bash. "I suppose my "chances" on here would matter to me if this site was the focus of my socialising and this was the only place I thought I would meet women. Luckily it is not. | |||
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"And just as another point... (I'd like to say my final word on it but some are so amusing I just can't guarantee it) but when I find someone who has sent me a PM worthy of a response, I do my homework. Which includes reading through their forum posts and in all honesty, when I said earlier that you weren't doing yourself any favours, this is kinda what I meant. By sneering at the intellect and upbringing of your fellow posters simply because they do not agree with you doesn't do a whole lot for your chances and says more about your upbringing than it does about anyone else giving their honest opinion to a question you posed.
Everyone is different and we all look for different things and we all deal with our swinging time differently. To each their own. It's called living and letting live. You should perhaps give that a bash.
I suppose my "chances" on here would matter to me if this site was the focus of my socialising and this was the only place I thought I would meet women.
Luckily it is not."In which case why are you so bothered about things? | |||
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" I suppose my "chances" on here would matter to me if this site was the focus of my socialising and this was the only place I thought I would meet women. Luckily it is not." Well stop moaning then!! | |||
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" I suppose my "chances" on here would matter to me if this site was the focus of my socialising and this was the only place I thought I would meet women. Luckily it is not." so why do you care if they don't respond then?!! flumoxed in Scotland! | |||
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"ooooooooh another one bites the dust "I bet you're heartbroken | |||
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"I know I said I was out earlier but I just can't help Myself..... Dirtyharry, if you send me a message I promise to reply "thanks but no thanks" would that make you feel better? Caus I don't think anyone here really gives a hoot!" Who's Dirty Harry?? | |||
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"Awfully bad manners getting all huffy and leaving the site.....don't you think?" maybe the new profile will be..playmistyforme | |||
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"I know I said I was out earlier but I just can't help Myself..... Dirtyharry, if you send me a message I promise to reply "thanks but no thanks" would that make you feel better? Caus I don't think anyone here really gives a hoot! Who's Dirty Harry?? " Wasn't that his name? Or am I just not paying proper attention haha | |||
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The Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Swingers | |||
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*bookmarks thread for future whingers* | |||
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"Awfully bad manners getting all huffy and leaving the site.....don't you think?maybe the new profile will be..playmistyforme "hahahahaha....shall i make the call now? | |||
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"Do you think he was really 'Clit Eastwood'?" well, if he was, he wasn't very lucky...punk | |||
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