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A mothers love VS romantic love
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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...well it probably shouldn't be a VS as we're talking love here, and they'd probably sit down and discuss the issue over a nice cup of tea, but that would have made for an excessively long title.
Basically, which do you believe is stronger, a mothers love for her child, or the love between two romantic partners, and why? |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
This is an odd one for me.
I believe the love I have my son is stronger than anything ever and cannot compare to love for anyone else. I'm not hugely experienced in romantic love as I have only recently fallen in love for the first time which has thrown me. I think they are very different and it is like comparing apples and pears.
I also do not underestimate the power of parental love - as I know what it was like to grow up with an emotionally absent mother. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mothers love without a doubt.
It will be there no matter what your child does.
Whereas for many if a partner is not perfect,they're out on their ears. No love lost there.
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I don't think you can quantify love, it's possible to love differently but is it possible to measure it? Can you love someone less than another person?
For me I either love or I don't although I guess it's possible to no longer love a romantic partner but much more difficult to stop loving a child. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is one of those instances where it seems remiss of the English language to only have one word for love. They seem to me to be such different things as to make comparison almost meaningless |
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"This is one of those instances where it seems remiss of the English language to only have one word for love. They seem to me to be such different things as to make comparison almost meaningless "
Yep! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The one who pisses her off least i reckon.
Seriously, you'll always love anyone you've loved. You can't just stop loving someone, even if the relationship changes the love will change or you'll get used to the changes and carry on your life as it is.
I personally feel i love my kids more than any romantic partner, coz they always got put first but also because i just maybe love their innocence and their unconditional love they give back. Plus i invested a lot of me in them when they were younger, more than any relationship.
I'm not close to my parents though, cut them out of my life to protect myself. There's not really any bond there, i like to think there was and somehow there was something wrong with me and that's why i never felt any love but i know differently. Some parents do not love their kids. Some had them because abortion wasn't a legitimate choice or because it was their duty to 'care' for them. I'm pretty sure my mum loved us in her way but she had a lot to deal with as well as us and didn't cope sometimes. She definitely hates my dad, tells my sister who still speaks to them, so fuck knows. ometimes you just don't know coz you're not in that persons head.
Love is a bond that develops over time based on positive experiences basically. I think so anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My love is very protective whilst the children are dependent. Once they are off into the big wide world it changes and I am very supportive but they have to make their own mistakes to evolve.
As children my love for them would outweigh romantic love but when they are adults, each occasion has to stand on its own merits, I wouldn't automatically put them first. It doesn't mean I love them any less. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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See this is where my love for my kids have come into question in the past year from people around me, basically my kids live with their father (financially it was better and he was the stay at home dad for years), I see them every day, more in fact then I ever did when I lived with them.
I think my love for them has grown more in the past year and now I'm not with them we have a stronger bond and I don't think I would ever find a love like the ones I have for my boys x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me love of God, love of my child, and love of my wife are all different and profound in their own ways. God is my love above all others... but that love fills me with even more love for my wife and child. Love is always a win win thing imo ...and that's why we're open to polyamory and spreading more love around. Or, as Marvin Gaye put it, "having a love party"  |
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"I don't know I've never had a child "
Me neither.. I can imagine my life without someone to love in a romantic way, but I hope that I don't miss out on being a mother and experiencing that kind of love |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Totally different kinds of love. So neither is greater.
But saying that, the love I have for my daughters and grandchildren will over rule any love for any friend, family member or lover! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had to choose in the past and my kids came first. So, a mothers love, although some women/men put romantic partners first.
Those that do that don't deserve to be called a mother "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"...well it probably shouldn't be a VS as we're talking love here, and they'd probably sit down and discuss the issue over a nice cup of tea, but that would have made for an excessively long title.
Basically, which do you believe is stronger, a mothers love for her child, or the love between two romantic partners, and why?"
As a mother of three children and who has been with my husband for 27 years you can't really compare the different types.
I carried my children for 9 months (2 for 9.5 lol) and there really is no feeling like it in the world to feel your baby moving around inside you and, when you're big, to see it is just awesome. Then, the labour (it's called labour because it's bloody hard work lol) and the moment you bring them into the world is just life affirming.
To compare that to my husband, my best friend, my soulmate. We've been through everything life could have possibly thrown at us and still be together stronger. It's immense.
If I had to choose I'd say a mother's love was stronger by a hairs breadth. Purely because my children didn't pick me. I'm their Mum whether they like it or not lol.
Hubby picked me so it's his fault if I love the kids more pmsl  |
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"One love is no greater than another."
I think it varies - my parents have been together 70 odd years and have always put each other first I believe. Some people disown their children, so I don't think it is cut and dried necessarily. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No mention of a fathers love for a child? I would kill or die for mine.
Also to whoever said that love never dies...I am sorry but you must never have had someone you love assault your child. (I hope that no one else will ever have that happen)
Love can die pretty quick in those circumstances. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A mother's love because that child is part of you and grew within you ... the cord has been cut, but its still there ..."
Does this mean a fathers love is lesser than a mothers? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Regardless of what you do,a mother will always love her child.
Partners can fall out of love, that is why we have divorces."
We also have abusive mothers. And mothers who murder their children.
Absolutes don't really work. |
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"Regardless of what you do,a mother will always love her child.
Partners can fall out of love, that is why we have divorces.
We also have abusive mothers. And mothers who murder their children.
Absolutes don't really work."
Then again we have murderers in prison, their parents still love them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A mother's love because that child is part of you and grew within you ... the cord has been cut, but its still there ...
Does this mean a fathers love is lesser than a mothers?"
And adoptive parents  |
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If one of my children was drowning along with my partner and I could only save one: my child without a question of doubt, my love for my children is unconditional.
Personally, I wouldn't trust a man who would put me before his child, I can't understand putting others in front of your own. |
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"A mother's love because that child is part of you and grew within you ... the cord has been cut, but its still there ...
Does this mean a fathers love is lesser than a mothers?
And adoptive parents "
And step-parents too. Mine would do anything for me. Maybe the title could've been phrased better x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Regardless of what you do,a mother will always love her child.
Partners can fall out of love, that is why we have divorces.
We also have abusive mothers. And mothers who murder their children.
Absolutes don't really work.
Then again we have murderers in prison, their parents still love them."
But that doesn't prove your point at all about mothers always loving their child no matter what.
When we have mothers who wilfully, abuse, torture, molest and even murder their children |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A mother's love because that child is part of you and grew within you ... the cord has been cut, but its still there ...
Does this mean a fathers love is lesser than a mothers?
And adoptive parents
And step-parents too. Mine would do anything for me. Maybe the title could've been phrased better x"
I just meant the bit about growing inside you and the cord. There are other ways for that parental love to exist. |
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"Regardless of what you do,a mother will always love her child.
Partners can fall out of love, that is why we have divorces.
We also have abusive mothers. And mothers who murder their children.
Absolutes don't really work.
Then again we have murderers in prison, their parents still love them.
But that doesn't prove your point at all about mothers always loving their child no matter what.
When we have mothers who wilfully, abuse, torture, molest and even murder their children "
Seeing as the majority of women (and fathers) on this thread have expressed their _iew that they put their children before their Partners, you must know a lot more abusive and murdering mothers than I know of.
So where does your figures come from, are there any murdering or abusive parents on here that can possibly back your point. I can only think that there general attitude is that most parents have an unconditional love for their children.
Better? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do women who give up their child for adoption soon after birth still love their child more than their life partner?"
Difficult one this as they haven't had time to form a bond. Although I felt love for my unborn babies inside me the love grows when you hold the baby. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do women who give up their child for adoption soon after birth still love their child more than their life partner?"
women give up their children for many reasons so I'm sure there will be some that do. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"A mothers love is unconditional love
There is no other love like it "
My mothers love for her daughters was conditional.
Anyway, love for a partner is different for love for a child. Some find one is stronger, others the other. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"...well it probably shouldn't be a VS as we're talking love here, and they'd probably sit down and discuss the issue over a nice cup of tea, but that would have made for an excessively long title.
Basically, which do you believe is stronger, a mothers love for her child, or the love between two romantic partners, and why?"
Really depends on the mother surely
I was put into care at a young age and haven't seen my mother for about 30 years, so there was no love there and my story isnt an isolated case there are many mothers who don't really show any love towards their kids and will put their partner first
For me though nobody will ever come before my children, I love them with all my heart and they are the main reason why I have been single since I split with their dad about 8 years ago, for parents who do love their kids I don't think you will love anybody as much as them, to love somebody and to be in love is two totally different things and I think it's hard to compair the two |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do women who give up their child for adoption soon after birth still love their child more than their life partner?"
Hard one
What is a mother?
Is a mother the woman who gave birth to you or the woman who was there for you? The one who picked you up when you fell down, the one who kissed you knee better, the one who cought you when you took your first steps, took you to school on your first day, tought you to ride a bike, sat up all night with you when you was ill, comforted you when your first love left you
If you have never done any of these things can you still form a bond that leads to love?
Maybe there is still some love there but I wouldn't have though the same as a woman who has bought a child up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"...well it probably shouldn't be a VS as we're talking love here, and they'd probably sit down and discuss the issue over a nice cup of tea, but that would have made for an excessively long title.
Basically, which do you believe is stronger, a mothers love for her child, or the love between two romantic partners, and why?"
A mothers love hands down. It's unconditional. There was bond even before the child was born. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"...well it probably shouldn't be a VS as we're talking love here, and they'd probably sit down and discuss the issue over a nice cup of tea, but that would have made for an excessively long title.
Basically, which do you believe is stronger, a mothers love for her child, or the love between two romantic partners, and why?
A mothers love hands down. It's unconditional. There was bond even before the child was born. "
I'm going by my love for my child here. I understand there are bad mothers and fathers out there and that there are mothers that love they're partners more than they're child. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Regardless of what you do,a mother will always love her child.
Partners can fall out of love, that is why we have divorces.
We also have abusive mothers. And mothers who murder their children.
Absolutes don't really work.
Then again we have murderers in prison, their parents still love them.
But that doesn't prove your point at all about mothers always loving their child no matter what.
When we have mothers who wilfully, abuse, torture, molest and even murder their children
Seeing as the majority of women (and fathers) on this thread have expressed their _iew that they put their children before their Partners, you must know a lot more abusive and murdering mothers than I know of.
So where does your figures come from, are there any murdering or abusive parents on here that can possibly back your point. I can only think that there general attitude is that most parents have an unconditional love for their children.
Better?"
What figures?
You said absolutely nothing could stop a mother loving her child yet through the years there have been masses of cases of parental abuse or murder.
My whole point was that you were using absolute terminology but you're now saying generally which was my point.
Not sure I need to k ow a criminal personally to know their crimes |
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I believe it's possible to love equally but differently. I have equal maternal love for my children and I love Mr N as much as I love them but differently. I love my parents just as much but in a different way and my brothers too.
Can you really put limits on how much you love people? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Regardless of what you do,a mother will always love her child.
Partners can fall out of love, that is why we have divorces.
We also have abusive mothers. And mothers who murder their children.
Absolutes don't really work.
Then again we have murderers in prison, their parents still love them.
But that doesn't prove your point at all about mothers always loving their child no matter what.
When we have mothers who wilfully, abuse, torture, molest and even murder their children
Seeing as the majority of women (and fathers) on this thread have expressed their _iew that they put their children before their Partners, you must know a lot more abusive and murdering mothers than I know of.
So where does your figures come from, are there any murdering or abusive parents on here that can possibly back your point. I can only think that there general attitude is that most parents have an unconditional love for their children.
Better?
What figures?
You said absolutely nothing could stop a mother loving her child yet through the years there have been masses of cases of parental abuse or murder.
My whole point was that you were using absolute terminology but you're now saying generally which was my point.
Not sure I need to k ow a criminal personally to know their crimes"
You know the wierd thing is a lot of abusive parents claim they do love their kids
Some just have a strang way of showing it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Regardless of what you do,a mother will always love her child.
Partners can fall out of love, that is why we have divorces.
We also have abusive mothers. And mothers who murder their children.
Absolutes don't really work.
Then again we have murderers in prison, their parents still love them.
But that doesn't prove your point at all about mothers always loving their child no matter what.
When we have mothers who wilfully, abuse, torture, molest and even murder their children
Seeing as the majority of women (and fathers) on this thread have expressed their _iew that they put their children before their Partners, you must know a lot more abusive and murdering mothers than I know of.
So where does your figures come from, are there any murdering or abusive parents on here that can possibly back your point. I can only think that there general attitude is that most parents have an unconditional love for their children.
Better?
What figures?
You said absolutely nothing could stop a mother loving her child yet through the years there have been masses of cases of parental abuse or murder.
My whole point was that you were using absolute terminology but you're now saying generally which was my point.
Not sure I need to k ow a criminal personally to know their crimes
You know the wierd thing is a lot of abusive parents claim they do love their kids
Some just have a strang way of showing it "
Many abusers suffered at the habds of their own parents and know no different. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me it's a mothers love!
I'll never love anyone as much as I love my children. Can't imagine anyone else even coming close!
I also can't imagine anything my children could do that would make me stop loving them - and to me this is what makes it different from romantic love! Many romances/marriages etc end every day! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Love is an emotive object, it effects everyone differently, I don't belive people just stop loving their ex partners just because they get divorced, same as I don't think you can stop loving your children when they do things you disapprove of!
Some people do stop loving their children though just like some people stop loving their partners!
To assume everyone has your own life experiences is wrong!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me it's a mothers love!
I'll never love anyone as much as I love my children. Can't imagine anyone else even coming close!
I also can't imagine anything my children could do that would make me stop loving them - and to me this is what makes it different from romantic love! Many romances/marriages etc end every day! "
.
Some of my old school friends are life long heroin addicts, they've treated their parents awfully because of their addiction!
They say it's unconditional but trust me I've seen their parents stop loving them!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me it's a mothers love!
I'll never love anyone as much as I love my children. Can't imagine anyone else even coming close!
I also can't imagine anything my children could do that would make me stop loving them - and to me this is what makes it different from romantic love! Many romances/marriages etc end every day! .
Some of my old school friends are life long heroin addicts, they've treated their parents awfully because of their addiction!
They say it's unconditional but trust me I've seen their parents stop loving them! "
My kids would have to do something really unspeakably bad before I turned my back on them and even then I wouldn't stop loving them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me it's a mothers love!
I'll never love anyone as much as I love my children. Can't imagine anyone else even coming close!
I also can't imagine anything my children could do that would make me stop loving them - and to me this is what makes it different from romantic love! Many romances/marriages etc end every day! .
Some of my old school friends are life long heroin addicts, they've treated their parents awfully because of their addiction!
They say it's unconditional but trust me I've seen their parents stop loving them!
My kids would have to do something really unspeakably bad before I turned my back on them and even then I wouldn't stop loving them "
.
That's how I feel too but then I haven't had those life experiences, so can I say for definite?
You cross your fingers and hope for the best, but statistically somebody will be unfortunate and as I know people that have been through it, some don't come out the other side, it's very very sad |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me it's a mothers love!
I'll never love anyone as much as I love my children. Can't imagine anyone else even coming close!
I also can't imagine anything my children could do that would make me stop loving them - and to me this is what makes it different from romantic love! Many romances/marriages etc end every day! .
Some of my old school friends are life long heroin addicts, they've treated their parents awfully because of their addiction!
They say it's unconditional but trust me I've seen their parents stop loving them!
My kids would have to do something really unspeakably bad before I turned my back on them and even then I wouldn't stop loving them .
That's how I feel too but then I haven't had those life experiences, so can I say for definite?
You cross your fingers and hope for the best, but statistically somebody will be unfortunate and as I know people that have been through it, some don't come out the other side, it's very very sad"
For some things I think I'm not sure if it would be enough for me to turn my back, for other things I know I could never forgive, for example if baby p's mother was my daughter I could never forgive her or hold the same relationship with her
I remember watching a documentary once a few years ago with Peter Sutcliffe dad on it, he said at one point that he hated what he had turned into and could never forgiven him for his crimes but a part of him still loved him as he still held the memories of the happy days when he was a child and a good person and that feeling for the son he loved would never go away
I can understand that completely |
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With jay we jokingly call it the pecking order, I will never come before his children or grandchildren and he won't come before mine. It's not an issue, never been an issue just something we know.
However, my ex boyfriend was very good with my son, can't fault him but he could never understand why my son would always come before him but he had never had children |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No mention of a fathers love for a child? I would kill or die for mine.
Also to whoever said that love never dies...I am sorry but you must never have had someone you love assault your child. (I hope that no one else will ever have that happen)
Love can die pretty quick in those circumstances. "
I said that.
You can cut people dead because you know they're bad for you and your life, you can even hate them for a while, but if you ever loved someone it's really hard to disconnect from them completely.
And love will fuck you up with stuff like this but, so will hating them. So instead, well i do anyway, i do try and understand why they did something so that i don't hate them. I suppose it does turn to apathy about that person eventually though once you realise what they are and you don't love them any more because if you do then you start getting sentimental and more messed up and confused. Not sure if you will always love them, and that's why you didn't hurt them after and tried to find positive ways to deal with the stuff, or if it's self love that causes it actually. Still a bit confused about that one. |
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"No mention of a fathers love for a child? I would kill or die for mine.
Also to whoever said that love never dies...I am sorry but you must never have had someone you love assault your child. (I hope that no one else will ever have that happen)
Love can die pretty quick in those circumstances.
I said that.
You can cut people dead because you know they're bad for you and your life, you can even hate them for a while, but if you ever loved someone it's really hard to disconnect from them completely.
And love will fuck you up with stuff like this but, so will hating them. So instead, well i do anyway, i do try and understand why they did something so that i don't hate them. I suppose it does turn to apathy about that person eventually though once you realise what they are and you don't love them any more because if you do then you start getting sentimental and more messed up and confused. Not sure if you will always love them, and that's why you didn't hurt them after and tried to find positive ways to deal with the stuff, or if it's self love that causes it actually. Still a bit confused about that one."
I'm not big on falling in love romantically but I can hand on heart say I completly stopped loving the person absolutley no feelings whatsoever same with my ex husband not sure if I loved it as love goes but I have absolutley no feelings for him one way or another. I don't get this if you've loved someone romantically you will always love them, doesn't happen in my world |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Equal - I am a Mother and I have an amazing bond/amount of love for my Children. I have no bond or love for my Mother.
Romantic Love/soul mates have just as deep a bond and love for each other, it's just different is all....
That's my take anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No mention of a fathers love for a child? I would kill or die for mine.
Also to whoever said that love never dies...I am sorry but you must never have had someone you love assault your child. (I hope that no one else will ever have that happen)
Love can die pretty quick in those circumstances.
I said that.
You can cut people dead because you know they're bad for you and your life, you can even hate them for a while, but if you ever loved someone it's really hard to disconnect from them completely.
And love will fuck you up with stuff like this but, so will hating them. So instead, well i do anyway, i do try and understand why they did something so that i don't hate them. I suppose it does turn to apathy about that person eventually though once you realise what they are and you don't love them any more because if you do then you start getting sentimental and more messed up and confused. Not sure if you will always love them, and that's why you didn't hurt them after and tried to find positive ways to deal with the stuff, or if it's self love that causes it actually. Still a bit confused about that one.
I'm not big on falling in love romantically but I can hand on heart say I completly stopped loving the person absolutley no feelings whatsoever same with my ex husband not sure if I loved it as love goes but I have absolutley no feelings for him one way or another. I don't get this if you've loved someone romantically you will always love them, doesn't happen in my world"
I'm not on about just romantic love, but if you've formed a bond with someone it can be hard to let go of them.
Plus if you're just that kind of person who is naive, gullible, trusting, sees the best in people, and those people can trick you into thinking control and abuse is love, then you're gonna be even more fucked up when it comes to ending it and ending the feelings around it.
Also, we have ideas what love is. Ideas are just that, thoughts, opinions and not reality. You can see many people in here automatically presume a parents love will be strongest, and we do indeed expect love from care givers because of this. But it doesn't always happen so sometimes people will continue to seek love where they expect it or just can't let go and hold onto their feelings and mess themselves up.
Some people even can love those they should hate. They'll forgive them and hope for the best for that person despite what they did. Not even be attached to them personally but just care, that's not me but i know these people are out there and that's how we got to where we are today when it comes to prison and rehabilitation, mental health care that got better, other forms of welfare and things like this.
Hope i explained that ok. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nearly every women I know would defen their kids with their lives.
My wife would even kill me I reckon.
I dont think many men can understand the bond a bird has with her kids |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a point to add to the debate.....a fathers love for their child(ren)?"
I love my kids to the world and back and will do anyhting for them.
Is it as strong as a mother
Doubt it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a point to add to the debate.....a fathers love for their child(ren)?
I love my kids to the world and back and will do anyhting for them.
Is it as strong as a mother
Doubt it"
Mine is...I would go to extremes her mum would baulk at. |
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As soppy as it is going to sound, the saying "You never know true love until you have a child" is one we've both agreed to definitely be true.
We've both experienced very deep romantic love and obviously have love for our families, etc but when both Little'uns were born, it was a whole new level.
Unconditional, unfaltering, unrivaled. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As soppy as it is going to sound, the saying "You never know true love until you have a child" is one we've both agreed to definitely be true.
We've both experienced very deep romantic love and obviously have love for our families, etc but when both Little'uns were born, it was a whole new level.
Unconditional, unfaltering, unrivaled."
Never have truer words been written on FAB |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a point to add to the debate.....a fathers love for their child(ren)?
I love my kids to the world and back and will do anyhting for them.
Is it as strong as a mother
Doubt it"
.
That's probably the most sexist statement I've read in years  |
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"This is one of those instances where it seems remiss of the English language to only have one word for love. They seem to me to be such different things as to make comparison almost meaningless "
Exactly this!
Nice to see that gorgeous backside of yours back on here missus! |
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