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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I made myself a snowman,As perfect as could be,I thoughtI'd keep it as a pet,and let it sleep with me,I made him some pyjamas,and a pillow for his head,Last night the bastard vanished,And pissed the f*cking bed!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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John, woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening.
After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him. "Louise," he moaned, "tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?"
"Even worse," she said, her voice oozing scorn. "You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face."
"He's an asshole," John said. "Piss on him."
"You did," came the reply. "And he fired you."
"Well, screw him!" said John.
"I did. You're back at work on Monday."
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