FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Sitting on the fence
Sitting on the fence
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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When we post on forums, especially on big sites like this, are we confident enough to post what we really feel, regardless of what others will think of us, or do we sit on the fence and try and be non committal because we dont like confrontation.
I believe you should be true to yourself and post what you really feel. Noone else may agree with you, you may get people who come across as very blunt, or try and make you feel uncomfortable, but to me there is little point in trying to blend in with the crowd.
But... from the point of say single guys who are hoping to get meets with certain ladies, would you rather sit on the fence and bypass anything that may get uncomfortable because you dont want to risk upsetting anyone who you'd like to meet. Or will you say what you feel.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have tried to, but i cant, but in all honesty when i see others that do I think, oh come on dont be non committal. Ive learned loads from these forums. Views I may have had, when you see others challenging those and giving their reasons, its really interesting.
is it men that sit on the fence more than women - are they just conditioned to say yes to everything we say  |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"When we post on forums, especially on big sites like this, are we confident enough to post what we really feel, regardless of what others will think of us, or do we sit on the fence and try and be non committal because we dont like confrontation.
I believe you should be true to yourself and post what you really feel. Noone else may agree with you, you may get people who come across as very blunt, or try and make you feel uncomfortable, but to me there is little point in trying to blend in with the crowd.
But... from the point of say single guys who are hoping to get meets with certain ladies, would you rather sit on the fence and bypass anything that may get uncomfortable because you dont want to risk upsetting anyone who you'd like to meet. Or will you say what you feel.
"
I dont think its a matter of confidence is it? What it is a matter of perception. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have tried to, but i cant, but in all honesty when i see others that do I think, oh come on dont be non committal. Ive learned loads from these forums. Views I may have had, when you see others challenging those and giving their reasons, its really interesting.
is it men that sit on the fence more than women - are they just conditioned to say yes to everything we say "
i have seen it....but i hope it means they share your opinion!
i like it that you can argue with someone on one thread and go and support them on another...there's the odd tiff, but they never seem to last and the good thing is, you do learn.
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"I have tried to, but i cant, but in all honesty when i see others that do I think, oh come on dont be non committal. Ive learned loads from these forums. Views I may have had, when you see others challenging those and giving their reasons, its really interesting.
is it men that sit on the fence more than women - are they just conditioned to say yes to everything we say "
Whatever you say dear....ooops! Slipped back into married mode there!! 
I think some of the forum discussions can be pretty interesting and people should be encouraged to participate. I also think a few people need to chill out a bit when they answer things they might not agree with - some
posters go too far in my opinion.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When we post on forums, especially on big sites like this, are we confident enough to post what we really feel, regardless of what others will think of us, or do we sit on the fence and try and be non committal because we dont like confrontation.
I believe you should be true to yourself and post what you really feel. Noone else may agree with you, you may get people who come across as very blunt, or try and make you feel uncomfortable, but to me there is little point in trying to blend in with the crowd.
But... from the point of say single guys who are hoping to get meets with certain ladies, would you rather sit on the fence and bypass anything that may get uncomfortable because you dont want to risk upsetting anyone who you'd like to meet. Or will you say what you feel.
"
I would say almost all people on the forums think about how they are perceived before posting. They may sit on the fence on some topics and quite rightly do so because venting, arguing or being confrontational will bring, scorn, avoidance and possibly a ban.
An intelligent man/woman sits watches and assesses, the fool is the one who jumps in without thinking. I think its fair to summarise the fence sitters are considerate not to offend others, often intelligent and dare I say it smart for not upsetting potential meets.
Also it’s a bit like saying if you get pulled up by the police whilst driving you should say what you think rather than using guile and diplomacy to reduce a potential negatives. Well that’s one way of looking at things.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes though i think sometimes its because i dont always read all thats been said, and i need to think before posting.
A thick skin is a must 
For the single guys, I think the same as ive said above, think first, then post but some who come across as very sure of themselves, possibly arrogant, sarcastic etc, are actually very nice guys |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As many know i have always and will always "sit on the fence" so ta speak
The reason for this is simple to me
I have lived my life and only my life
I have not had the same experiences as others and have grown up (No puns please lol) in a totally unique way as has everyone
Therefore another persons _iew is bound to differ sometimes from my own
I try to see the others point of _iew and that and my own _iew come out as a version of fence sitting in my posts
Of course i have my own opinions but at the end of the day they can be changed
The forums have made me see things from others points of _iew and some of my own opinions have changed accordingly
Life and people are diverse and there is no way that i would think i could be right on everything lol xx |
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I do think there is a section of single males that sniff around the single females like horny dogs, nodding their heads in agreement at anything they say.
Personally I couldn't be arsed I have way too inflated an ego to curb what I say. I do however try not to upset people in the process. |
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"
I would say almost all people on the forums think about how they are perceived before posting. They may sit on the fence on some topics and quite rightly do so because venting, arguing or being confrontational will bring, scorn, avoidance and possibly a ban.
An intelligent man/woman sits watches and assesses, the fool is the one who jumps in without thinking. I think its fair to summarise the fence sitters are considerate not to offend others, often intelligent and dare I say it smart for not upsetting potential meets.
Also it’s a bit like saying if you get pulled up by the police whilst driving you should say what you think rather than using guile and diplomacy to reduce a potential negatives. Well that’s one way of looking at things.
"
I couldn't agree less. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I say it how i feel it .... I have to be true to myself here ... At times i have to bit my lip find words that will not afend others .. I know everyone is diffrent and it not always right for me with out knowing them well the ins and outs to judge or criticize. We all have our own values and have to accept others do too .. x I will sit on the fence at times as you cant really know a person 100% just from chating in here and know words can cut people like a knifeS and hurt x JO XX |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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sitting on the fence means you are not being honest to your self or others, but do see why some people keep stum or just nod in agreement, its much easier to do so. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"sitting on the fence means you are not being honest to your self or others, but do see why some people keep stum or just nod in agreement, its much easier to do so. "
with out knowing everything and the person you cant always its not fair on people. And thats being honest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am often surprised by the number of people that assume that because someone passes an opinion they are arguing or angry or attempting to be accepted by right by the majority.
Can't recall who has attempted to define intelligence through the medium of forum post but to whoever it was i offer a resounding Bollocks ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"sitting on the fence means you are not being honest to your self or others, but do see why some people keep stum or just nod in agreement, its much easier to do so. with out knowing everything and the person you cant always its not fair on people. And thats being honest. "
personally, I just want to get along with every one, and perhaps the time i speak my mind best is when someone is rude, and deserves a reply befitting to them.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am often surprised by the number of people that assume that because someone passes an opinion they are arguing or angry or attempting to be accepted by right by the majority.
Can't recall who has attempted to define intelligence through the medium of forum post but to whoever it was i offer a resounding Bollocks !"
Gan over 2010 your posts have been good and make me think at times ... which i like x |
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"sitting on the fence means you are not being honest to your self or others, but do see why some people keep stum or just nod in agreement, its much easier to do so. "
I agree, but sometimes I think people post very strong opinions knowing (hoping even) they will cause offence.
We all edit what we say to people every single day, if we didn't you'd probably get a smack in the chops most days - the problem is it's a largely anonymous forum without face to face contact, so people don't feel the need to be as polite or respectful as they would in the real world. |
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Depends on the topic for me. Generally I add my thoughts to stuff as I see it but I don't think I'm ever offensive. I dare say I'm a bit sarcastic on the odd occasion but I am aware of how the written word doesn't always come across as it's meant. When you can't see a facial expression sometimes your meaning isn't taken the way it's supposed to be so I do try to read things I write as other people would.
I like forums and I like other opinions because I generally learn bits and pieces here and there. I'm not afraid to say what I think and then be educated into a different way of thinking. When I'm proved wrong, I'm happy to admit it. There are lots of people I admire with their ability to say how it is without being offensive and with humour. However, there are people who post that make me roll my eyes... mostly the negative ones who can't seem to help themselves in almost every post. So I suppose there are times I do sit on the fence cause I'd quite like to say something about that sometimes but from experience it's generally not worth the bother.
I also read the forum posts of potential meets. Gives you a whole other insight beyond the PM stage.
Having said that, I don't care if people read my forum posts, I'm me and I don't want to be someone else so if someone doesn't like the look of me from forum posts then it's a pretty good indication that they won't like me in reality. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"sitting on the fence means you are not being honest to your self or others, but do see why some people keep stum or just nod in agreement, its much easier to do so.
I agree, but sometimes I think people post very strong opinions knowing (hoping even) they will cause offence.
We all edit what we say to people every single day, if we didn't you'd probably get a smack in the chops most days - the problem is it's a largely anonymous forum without face to face contact, so people don't feel the need to be as polite or respectful as they would in the real world. "
Some people just like to take offence. It's amazing how many people rally to the cause of whiners. Playing victim is a tremendously powerful tactic for winning the less perceptive over. Make someone look bad and bathe in sympathy. |
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"I am often surprised by the number of people that assume that because someone passes an opinion they are arguing or angry or attempting to be accepted by (*as*) right by the majority.
Can't recall who has attempted to define intelligence through the medium of forum post but to whoever it was i offer a resounding Bollocks !"
Indeed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If ever you took your hand of your bollocks and pointed the teeny thing straight at me THEN your intentions would be clear ( insert own smiley according to how much umbrage you have taken ) pssssssssst none intended tis all in the depth of the beholder. |
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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago
Livingston |
"If ever you took your hand of your bollocks and pointed the teeny thing straight at me THEN your intentions would be clear ( insert own smiley according to how much umbrage you have taken ) pssssssssst none intended tis all in the depth of the beholder."
Is it not in the depth of the receiver???  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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as for sitting on fence, i have had offers off bi men (getting curious bout it)no offers off women yet, but i wont pass an opportunit up unless i wasnt in mood  |
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"BTW _nvictus... I never know what the smileys mean ....... here bel....
Shit I'll start a post "
Definition of Fab smileys:
Happy
 Sad
Cheeky wink, yes, wink.
 Disgruntled, frowning, just bit a lemon
 Dark in here isn't it?
Surprise, or Soxy has just shoved a root veg up yer..
Rasberry, or a request for oral
Embarrassed or sun burnt
Tut, 'yeah whoteva'
Laughing hard and going green, doctor may be required
 Out on a hen night
 Laughing, but not green
I think that covers it.
Oh, and Granny, it is a cold day. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do think there is a section of single males that sniff around the single females like horny dogs, nodding their heads in agreement at anything they say.
Personally I couldn't be arsed I have way too inflated an ego to curb what I say. I do however try not to upset people in the process."
Ooooh I do like you!!!
Some of the single men on here really don't realise how pathetic they look agreeing with everything certain female posters say. If they believe that will get them laid...bless their cotton socks. Then again, it may, some of the female posters do seem to like their egos massaging on a daily basis.
Give me a man that has a backbone and can speak his mind any day of the week. It just adds to my pleasure when I gag them!!! |
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"I do think there is a section of single males that sniff around the single females like horny dogs, nodding their heads in agreement at anything they say.
Personally I couldn't be arsed I have way too inflated an ego to curb what I say. I do however try not to upset people in the process.
Ooooh I do like you!!!
Some of the single men on here really don't realise how pathetic they look agreeing with everything certain female posters say. If they believe that will get them laid...bless their cotton socks. Then again, it may, some of the female posters do seem to like their egos massaging on a daily basis.
Give me a man that has a backbone and can speak his mind any day of the week. It just adds to my pleasure when I gag them!!! "
I completely disagree woman! And I have a nice bum....shame you're not closer really! |
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"BTW _nvictus... I never know what the smileys mean ....... here bel....
Shit I'll start a post
Definition of Fab smileys:
Happy
Sad
Cheeky wink, yes, wink.
Disgruntled, frowning, just bit a lemon
Dark in here isn't it?
Surprise, or Soxy has just shoved a root veg up yer..
Rasberry, or a request for oral
Embarrassed or sun burnt
Tut, 'yeah whoteva'
Laughing hard and going green, doctor may be required
Out on a hen night
Laughing, but not green
I think that covers it.
Oh, and Granny, it is a cold day. "
I thought:
was confused
was smug
and
was a dropped jaw... or someone who had been drinking frothy beer... I can never tell. |
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"BTW _nvictus... I never know what the smileys mean ....... here bel....
Shit I'll start a post
Definition of Fab smileys:
Happy
Sad
Cheeky wink, yes, wink.
Disgruntled, frowning, just bit a lemon
Dark in here isn't it?
Surprise, or Soxy has just shoved a root veg up yer..
Rasberry, or a request for oral
Embarrassed or sun burnt
Tut, 'yeah whoteva'
Laughing hard and going green, doctor may be required
Out on a hen night
Laughing, but not green
I think that covers it.
Oh, and Granny, it is a cold day.
I thought:
was confused
was smug
and
was a dropped jaw... or someone who had been drinking frothy beer... I can never tell."
No wonder we all argue so much! Our smileys are all different! |
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"I do think there is a section of single males that sniff around the single females like horny dogs, nodding their heads in agreement at anything they say.
Personally I couldn't be arsed I have way too inflated an ego to curb what I say. I do however try not to upset people in the process.
Ooooh I do like you!!!
Some of the single men on here really don't realise how pathetic they look agreeing with everything certain female posters say. If they believe that will get them laid...bless their cotton socks. Then again, it may, some of the female posters do seem to like their egos massaging on a daily basis.
Give me a man that has a backbone and can speak his mind any day of the week. It just adds to my pleasure when I gag them!!! "
I like you to lots but I'm also vewy vewy fwitoned of you. |
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I always thought this one meant 'I am a small yellow blow fish swimming toward you'
Apologies for using this in the wrong context in most of my previous posts. If people could trawl through all my posts and replace that smiley with the sentence 'I am a small yellow blow fish swimming toward you' I think you will find my posts make a lot more sense. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do think there is a section of single males that sniff around the single females like horny dogs, nodding their heads in agreement at anything they say.
Personally I couldn't be arsed I have way too inflated an ego to curb what I say. I do however try not to upset people in the process.
Ooooh I do like you!!!
Some of the single men on here really don't realise how pathetic they look agreeing with everything certain female posters say. If they believe that will get them laid...bless their cotton socks. Then again, it may, some of the female posters do seem to like their egos massaging on a daily basis.
Give me a man that has a backbone and can speak his mind any day of the week. It just adds to my pleasure when I gag them!!!
I like you to lots but I'm also vewy vewy fwitoned of you. "
Oh I'm weally, weally a fwuffy, wuffy puddy tat: in this cold weather I warm up the lube! Christmas makes me soft! |
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There’s a pub in the town.
Some people go in and stand at the bar all night. They start talking about life, politics, wars, religion, cars, football and anything else. They may not always agree with each other, but it never looks like a fight is about to break out.
Some people play pool or darts.
Some people sit and play cards, barely speaking aside from cracking the occasional joke.
Some people sit at other tables and discuss the pub quiz night.
Through the back of the pub there is a function room with a dance floor.. tonight it’s karaoke. So there are obviously some people through there too. Some want to sing, some want to dance and some just want to watch others make a complete cock of themselves.
Everyone there wants to be there for their own reasons and enjoy the pub in their own way.
Sounds a bit like a forum doesn’t it. And much like a forum, whilst there are 1000’s of people in the town, only a small minority are in the pub.
But let’s look a little closer at the people in the pub.
Some people get dressed up… some because they like to feel nice and others because they need the attention.
Some wear their comfortable casual attire and some still have their work clothes on… they are not ashamed of working in a hard graft job for a living.
Some go through to the back to letch at the young women in their scanty tops and short skirts.
Some women stand near the pool table so when the fittest guy bends over to take a shot they can drool and fawn over him, fighting for his attention.
Some people have to throw on very bit of jewellery they own, or at least will own once they have finished paying the 48 monthly instalments, whilst the person wearing a £10,000 watch never even thinks about pulling their sleeve up a bit further.
Some people can’t hide their jealousy, envy and disappointment at their own life… pointing at someone else who has something they don’t, who is with someone they aren’t or merely is someone they are not.
Some call others boring for not wanting to go through to the back… we always go through to the back!
Some name call the ones through the back who dance like they aren’t being watched and sing like no one can hear them.
Some admire the knowledge of others, whilst some mock the pub quiz team assuming they must feel elite.
Some keep their mouth shut because they like to watch, whilst others keep it shut as they know they’ll sound like a twat and end up leaving on their own every night if they express their real opinions.
One lad is even telling yet another version of a sob story he’s made up…. hoping someone will buy him a sympathy pint.
Some people think the world revolves around the pub… others may enjoy an evening in the pub, but do their shopping in town.
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This pub sounds great Polo. Can I have a name and address for it?
In this day and age of pubs closing down and people buying their alcohol from supermarkets and drinking alone, I find it heart warming and refreshing that this establishment is thriving despite such austere times! |
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