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Useless Fact of the Day

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By *muma OP Woman over a year ago

Livingston

If you pinch your nose closed, you cannot hum!!!

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By *randmrsfreakyCouple over a year ago

alfreton near chesterfield

ive just tried it, could hum a little but couldnt reach all the notes

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

penguins and polar bears will never meet as they live pole apart.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When you hum you are still expelling air from your nose and pinching it shut stops that escape route causing an air blockage in your windpipe.

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By *irtyGirlWoman over a year ago

Edinburgh

"If you pinch your nose closed, you cannot hum!!!

Hahaha! I just tried too!

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By *unky monkeyMan over a year ago

in the night garden

Dogs can't look up.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Dogs can't look up."

They can if you peel their eyelids back with tweezers and superglue them to their foreheads.

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By *adcowWoman over a year ago

kirkcaldy

you can never get thru to jobcentre plus when you need to !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! least not in 4 days of trying

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By *nvictusMan over a year ago

Beeston

Pluto is no longer a planet....and he can't look up either.

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By *muma OP Woman over a year ago

Livingston

rats and horses can't vomit

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By *nvictusMan over a year ago

Beeston

The last recorded falling of alphabet snow was in the Taum Sauk Mountains, Missouri in February 1897.

It was also the second highest Scrabble score for the region.

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By *muma OP Woman over a year ago

Livingston

pmsl Inv!!

111,111,111 multiplied by 111,111,111 equals 12,345,678,987,654,321, which is a palindromic number.

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By *nvictusMan over a year ago

Beeston

"pmsl Inv!!

111,111,111 multiplied by 111,111,111 equals 12,345,678,987,654,321, which is a palindromic number.

How did you get my pin number!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Women are the only animals that have a clitoris

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By *muma OP Woman over a year ago

Livingston

To "testify" was based on men in the Roman court swearing to a statement made by swearing on their testicles.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A giraffe has no voicebox

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By *muma OP Woman over a year ago

Livingston

Grapes explode when you put them in the microwave.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A fly has the largest sperm

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By *muma OP Woman over a year ago

Livingston

Impotence is legal grounds for divorce in 24 American states.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

An apple, onion, and potato all have the same taste. The differences in flavor are caused by their smell. To prove this - pinch your nose and take a bite from each. They will all taste sweet.

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By *aravancoupleMan over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love

Why, when they give a leathal injection, do they use a sterile needle?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

John Kellogg invented corn flakes, for a patient with bad teeth. Charles Post invented Grape Nuts. Dr. Kellogg was the manager of a Michigan health spa and Post was a patient. The spa was founded by Sylvester Graham...inventor of the Graham cracker and pioneer of the early 1800s movement to eat more bran.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

and u cant sneeze wiv ur eyes open!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

In Bavaria, beer isn't considered an alcoholic drink but rather a staple food.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.

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By *muma OP Woman over a year ago

Livingston

Over 50% of all people fantasize more often about money than sex, so technically, Bill Gates is the hearthrob of the world. bleurgh!!

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By *irtyGirlWoman over a year ago

Edinburgh

"A giraffe has no voicebox"

But does have a blue tongue!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

In ancient religions, the Norsemen considered the mistletoe a baleful plant that caused the death of Baldur, the shining god of youth.

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By *ex.IncCouple over a year ago

Castleford

Elephants gestate for 2 years.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Statistically, one in seven dwarfs is grumpy

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By *muma OP Woman over a year ago

Livingston

"Statistically, one in seven dwarfs is grumpy"

Aww, Soapy's no grumpy - ust a bit Dopey!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oi I am here ya know xx

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By *muma OP Woman over a year ago

Livingston

"Oi I am here ya know xx

Sorry Titch, never spotted you down there xx

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By *ex.IncCouple over a year ago

Castleford

You'd be surprised how many quiz answers are on here already.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The squirting cucumber (Ecballium elaterium), when brushed by a passerby, ejects its seeds and a stream of poisonous juice that stings the skin.

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By *ocketManUKMan over a year ago

Cradley Heath

Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

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By *muma OP Woman over a year ago

Livingston

On the island of Jersey it's against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The human eyes sees upside down...the brain corrects it

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By *thwalescplCouple over a year ago

brecon

The Sun burns 4 million tonnes of mass per second

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The numbers on opposite sides of a die always add up to 7.

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By *muma OP Woman over a year ago

Livingston

If a man farted non-stop for six years and nine months and then lit it he would produce an explosion equal to the power of the first atomic bomb!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If a man farted non-stop for six years and nine months and then lit it he would produce an explosion equal to the power of the first atomic bomb!

Wow that one is profound, lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

cud do that after a vindaloo

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Leonardo Da Vinci's famous portrait of Mona Lisa has long been accepted for the fact she has no visible facial hair, not even eyebrows and eyelashes,,,,

however recent examination of the painting using a 240-megapixel scan have found traces of a left eyebrow thus raising speculation the painting of Mona Lisa did infact once contain both her eyebrows and eyelashes which been gradually eroded over time to the point they are no longer visible to the naked eye

Now before ya start!!!!,,,, no-one said it has to be a short or interesting fact!!!,,,now did they!!!,,,,,,,,

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By *muma OP Woman over a year ago

Livingston

On average 15% of people secretly chew their toenails.

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By *ex.IncCouple over a year ago

Castleford

"If a man farted non-stop for six years and nine months and then lit it he would produce an explosion equal to the power of the first atomic bomb!

Kind of sure there would be a few accidents in that time!

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By *orestersCouple over a year ago

The Forest

There are no poisonous snakes native to the UK.

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By *orestersCouple over a year ago

The Forest

If a fly landed on the port rail of the QE2, the ship would list 1 billionth of a millimetre.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My tits have ran out of nuts

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By *nvictusMan over a year ago

Beeston

If you laid all the penguins in the world end to end in a straight line they would be very irritated and probably peck you.

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By *orestersCouple over a year ago

The Forest

Snowmen can only smell carrots.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I met a new "female" friend today,,, wooohoooo

so there go,,,, ya weren’t expecting that, now where ya!!!....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If ya eat a big bag of haribo to yaself ya will feel sick xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

if you can't be with the one you love, you should love the one you're with

free love!

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By *nvictusMan over a year ago

Beeston

"if you can't be with the one you love, you should love the one you're with

free love!"

Words of wisdom from the reindeer.

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By *nvictusMan over a year ago

Beeston

Every 3 hours an area the size of Wales is mentioned in a news article.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Every 3 hours an area the size of Wales is mentioned in a news article."

is that the exact size...how many places are the exact size of wales?

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By *emmefataleWoman over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

Most women are wearing the wrong size bra

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The earliest English Muffins contained nooks but no crannies.

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By *nvictusMan over a year ago

Beeston

The rare element of aloomium was discovered in 1924 by Harold T. Winachre, a Pennsylvanian chemist who was attempting to discover a light and yet strong material suitable to annoy English people with its name.

Now thousands of tons of aloomium are used to make aeroplanes, cars and assorted kitchenware items across the United States to this very day, much to the annoyance of the rest of the English speaking world.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A giraffe has no voicebox"

but they can show fear and surprise.

2 of the emotions of the Spanish Inquisition

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By *nvictusMan over a year ago

Beeston

"A giraffe has no voicebox

but they can show fear and surprise.

2 of the emotions of the Spanish Inquisition

i didn't expect that!

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By *muma OP Woman over a year ago

Livingston

The female bedbug has no sexual opening. To get around this small problem, the male uses his curved penis to drill a vagina into the female.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Half and half is actually closer to 60-40.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Some couples and women Fab DO meet single men ( an answer for this and other threads )

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The female bedbug has no sexual opening. To get around this small problem, the male uses his curved penis to drill a vagina into the female."

Hmmm, I met really clumsy bloke once, who tried drilling me a new opening........

some guys can be so rough !!!!

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By *muma OP Woman over a year ago

Livingston

You've heard the phrase, "going at it like rabbits". Well, the desert rat makes the rabbit look a little useless in the Don Juan stakes. The desert rat can have sex up to 120 times an hour.

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By *nvictusMan over a year ago

Beeston

If you took a large feather, a bowling ball and an apple, climbed to the top of the Empire State building and threw them all off at the same time the security guards would not be at all happy.

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By *nvictusMan over a year ago

Beeston

"You've heard the phrase, "going at it like rabbits". Well, the desert rat makes the rabbit look a little useless in the Don Juan stakes. The desert rat can have sex up to 120 times an hour.

Wimp.

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By *harpDressed ManMan over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

"On average 15% of people secretly chew their toenails."

85% do it publicly??? That can't be right.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Osama bin Laden has seen Woody Allen's "Annie Hall" 15 times.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The earliest English Muffins contained nooks but no crannies. "

I likes a man who likes a good muffin

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By *muma OP Woman over a year ago

Livingston

The male tick doesn't have a penis. Instead, he uses his nose to sniff out the females vagina. Once he's made it large enough by poking his nose around, he turns round and deposits his semen. To finish the job off, he then turns round again and pushes the semen inside with his trusty nose!!!!!

(I know a few guys like that, lol)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If you took a large feather, a bowling ball and an apple, climbed to the top of the Empire State building and threw them all off at the same time the security guards would not be at all happy."

The Empire State Building Run-Up The Stairs Race has been an annual tradition since 1978.

Every year, runners race up the stairs to the 86th floor. The record time of 9 minutes and 33 seconds was set in 2003,,,

So stick that in your teacup and stir it to the left

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By *INKKKYMan over a year ago

LIVERPOOL/ WIRRAL

I havnt recieved any messsages at all today!

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By *nvictusMan over a year ago

Beeston

"I havnt recieved any messsages at all today!

If you took all the single males who had not received mail today and packed them tightly together, it would fill an area the sizes of Wales.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's illegal in Indiana for a mustached man to "habitually kiss human beings".

In Cedar Rapids, Iowa, it's a crime to kiss a stranger.

In Hartford, Connecticut it's illegal for a husband to kiss his wife on Sunday (I wonder if it's ok for someone else to kiss her?).

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Still legal to kill a scotsman in york apparantly

I think ?

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By *nvictusMan over a year ago

Beeston

If you took all the matter in the entire universe and squeezed it into a ball, you would need very, very big hands.

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By *harpDressed ManMan over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

"Dogs can't look up."

Try holding some bacon 4ft above a Jack Russell. It won't look down...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The old adage,,, that said a pram must be pushed, but a pencil must be lead … is actually a load of cack ,,,,,,

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By *unky monkeyMan over a year ago

in the night garden

If you paint a parsnip orange and look at it with your eyes blurred it looks a bit like a carrot.

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By *nvictusMan over a year ago

Beeston

The human hand contains 243 different pieces of bone...if hit with a sledge hammer.

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By *muma OP Woman over a year ago

Livingston

The Chinese did NOT invent the Pot Noodle!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If you paint a parsnip orange and look at it with your eyes blurred it looks a bit like a carrot."

Ahem....I knew this guy a long time ago, who was going through a stage where he was feeling somewhat uncertain about his sexuality .... And strangely enough he actaully slipped and fell on a carrot!!! which some how entered his bottom!!!!.......it was a very long time ago,,,Oh a very long time....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There is only one denomination of postage stamp in Malawi.

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By *muma OP Woman over a year ago

Livingston

"If you paint a parsnip orange and look at it with your eyes blurred it looks a bit like a carrot.

oh the classic "I knew a guy who..." line eh Soxy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By *nvictusMan over a year ago

Beeston

Dinosaurs are a very elaborate hoax instigated by the numerous fossil shops throughout the world, for whom an estimated revenue of $4,340,000,000,001 is made each year. Governments and countries fortunes are bought and sold by the secret Fraturnus Fossica.

In fact the world was created in 1823 by a freak accident with a toasted sandwich and a huge cloud of hydrogenated vegetable oil.

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By *unky monkeyMan over a year ago

in the night garden

"If you paint a parsnip orange and look at it with your eyes blurred it looks a bit like a carrot.

Ahem....I knew this guy a long time ago, who was going through a stage where he was feeling somewhat uncertain about his sexuality .... And strangely enough he actually slipped and fell on a carrot!!! which some how entered his bottom!!!!.......it was a very long time ago,,,Oh a very long time....

I'd watch out for those Soxy old girl.

Also keep an eye out for carrots painted yellow, they can fool you into thinking they are parsnips (whom are anally indifferent) but will attack your bottom given half the chance.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If you paint a parsnip orange and look at it with your eyes blurred it looks a bit like a carrot.

I'd watch out for those Soxy old girl.

Also keep an eye out for carrots painted yellow, they can fool you into thinking they are parsnips (whom are anally indifferent) but will attack your bottom given half the chance."

Crumbs ,,,,, I wasn't me!!!,,,,,It was this I guy I met!!!!,,,,,,,,

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By *muma OP Woman over a year ago

Livingston

"If you paint a parsnip orange and look at it with your eyes blurred it looks a bit like a carrot.

I'd watch out for those Soxy old girl.

Also keep an eye out for carrots painted yellow, they can fool you into thinking they are parsnips (whom are anally indifferent) but will attack your bottom given half the chance.

Crumbs ,,,,, I wasn't me!!!,,,,,It was this I guy I met!!!!,,,,,,,,

HMMMMMMMM

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By *nvictusMan over a year ago

Beeston

"If you paint a parsnip orange and look at it with your eyes blurred it looks a bit like a carrot.

I'd watch out for those Soxy old girl.

Also keep an eye out for carrots painted yellow, they can fool you into thinking they are parsnips (whom are anally indifferent) but will attack your bottom given half the chance.

Crumbs ,,,,, I wasn't me!!!,,,,,It was this I guy I met!!!!,,,,,,,,

We're straying into the world of very bizarre casseroles again.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Look’’’’ OK….. I admit it……it was me!…… but it was only a little carrot……….. to start with!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Xmas FAQ

Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?

A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: What's the shortcut for Undo?

A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I create a New Document window?

A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I set the background and foreground to the same color?

A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: What is the proper procedure for rebooting my Etch-A-Sketch?

A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch?

A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch document?

A: Don't shake it.

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By *muma OP Woman over a year ago

Livingston

"Look’’’’ OK….. I admit it……it was me!…… but it was only a little carrot……….. to start with!!!

methinks you doth protest too much!!

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By *unky monkeyMan over a year ago

in the night garden

Anybody else tried a root vegetable up their bottom?

Turnips perhaps or a nice beetroot?

Maybe this warrants it's own thread

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By *nvictusMan over a year ago

Beeston

"Look’’’’ OK….. I admit it……it was me!…… but it was only a little carrot……….. to start with!!!

I'm intrigued now.

Was it a nice smooth tapered one or one of those big ugly lumpy ones?

What am I doing??

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Look’’’’ OK….. I admit it……it was me!…… but it was only a little carrot……….. to start with!!!

methinks you doth protest too much!!"

it was a long time ago!!!!!

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By *muma OP Woman over a year ago

Livingston

"Anybody else tried a root vegetable up their bottom?

Turnips perhaps or a nice beetroot?

Maybe this warrants it's own thread"

no but you should see what I can do with bananas, lol x

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By *nvictusMan over a year ago

Beeston

"Anybody else tried a root vegetable up their bottom?

Turnips perhaps or a nice beetroot?

Maybe this warrants it's own thread

no but you should see what I can do with bananas, lol x"

Is it wise to tell my Simian colleague that?

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By *unky monkeyMan over a year ago

in the night garden

"Anybody else tried a root vegetable up their bottom?

Turnips perhaps or a nice beetroot?

Maybe this warrants it's own thread

no but you should see what I can do with bananas, lol x"

You should see what I've done to you with bananas in my mind!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Look’’’’ OK….. I admit it……it was me!…… but it was only a little carrot……….. to start with!!!

I'm intrigued now.

Was it a nice smooth tapered one or one of those big ugly lumpy ones?

What am I doing??

Viccyboi......OMG,, resist the urge at all cost,,,, Flipp'in heck man.... its what started it all off and set me on the slippery path towards the dark side.... hmm,,, but then again... I'm not complaining

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By *muma OP Woman over a year ago

Livingston

"Anybody else tried a root vegetable up their bottom?

Turnips perhaps or a nice beetroot?

Maybe this warrants it's own thread

no but you should see what I can do with bananas, lol x

You should see what I've done to you with bananas in my mind!

ah, but I actualy have pictures!!! lmao

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By *unky monkeyMan over a year ago

in the night garden

"Anybody else tried a root vegetable up their bottom?

Turnips perhaps or a nice beetroot?

Maybe this warrants it's own thread

no but you should see what I can do with bananas, lol x

You should see what I've done to you with bananas in my mind!

ah, but I actualy have pictures!!! lmao

Purely for research purposes would one have those pictures available to post to the funkyhotline?

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By *muma OP Woman over a year ago

Livingston

"Anybody else tried a root vegetable up their bottom?

Turnips perhaps or a nice beetroot?

Maybe this warrants it's own thread

no but you should see what I can do with bananas, lol x

You should see what I've done to you with bananas in my mind!

ah, but I actualy have pictures!!! lmao

Purely for research purposes would one have those pictures available to post to the funkyhotline?"

very possibly!!!!!

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By *unky monkeyMan over a year ago

in the night garden

"Anybody else tried a root vegetable up their bottom?

Turnips perhaps or a nice beetroot?

Maybe this warrants it's own thread

no but you should see what I can do with bananas, lol x

You should see what I've done to you with bananas in my mind!

ah, but I actualy have pictures!!! lmao

Purely for research purposes would one have those pictures available to post to the funkyhotline?

very possibly!!!!!"

To the funkyhotline Wendy! There's not a moment to lose!

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By *nvictusMan over a year ago

Beeston

In a recent survey nearly 75% of all females admitted to having inserted fruit into their ladyplace at some point.

Only 3% of men admitted any such fruity experiments, but the figure rises to some 87% when root vegetables are taken into account.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Barbie's measurements if she were lifesized would be 39-23-33...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A religious person came up to me the other day and asked me if I believed in evolution or creationism.

I replied "I believe in evolution. How else would Charmander become Charizard?"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"In a recent survey nearly 75% of all females admitted to having inserted fruit into their ladyplace at some point.

Only 3% of men admitted any such fruity experiments, but the figure rises to some 87% when root vegetables are taken into account."

I was gonna say something like ,,,,, everyone should make it part of their Five a day plan,,,,,,,,, but that would just be silly

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By *muma OP Woman over a year ago

Livingston

"Barbie's measurements if she were lifesized would be 39-23-33..."

Hi, I'm Barbie, who are you?

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By *nvictusMan over a year ago

Beeston

Elephants can fly backwards and a dragonfly can't actually drink water through it's nose but must transfer it to it's mouth to drink.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sliced bread was patented by a jeweller, Otto Rohwedder, in 1928. He had been working on it for 16 years, having started in 1912

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Barbie's measurements if she were lifesized would be 39-23-33...

Hi, I'm Barbie, who are you?

I'm extremely pleased to meet you, and unlike Ken I have more than plastic underpants and a trademark to offer lol

"Have you seen the new toy out for xmas? Divorced Barbie, comes with all Kens accessories..."

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By *muma OP Woman over a year ago

Livingston

The world's biggest banana split was made in Selinsgrove, Pennsylvania in April 1998

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By *unky monkeyMan over a year ago

in the night garden

Ant's love bonsai trees as they like to pretend they are humans in a forest.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The dog who played lassie is always a boy

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By *nvictusMan over a year ago

Beeston

[Removed by poster at 21/12/10 16:36:40]

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By *nvictusMan over a year ago

Beeston

Saddam Hussain had a Blue Peter badge for a desert diorama he sent in to the program in 1952.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That all round Lunatic…. Uri Geller, was born on December 20 1946 and even though he's repeatedly failed to convince science that he possesses any paranormal abilities at all, he still maintains the origin of his so called special powers come from a far distant planet called Hoova…..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The Chinese did NOT invent the Pot Noodle!!

The Koreans invented the pot poodle...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/12/10 16:51:36]

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By *unky monkeyMan over a year ago

in the night garden

Ants use newts as dinosaurs.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It IS possible for a person to lick their own elbow.

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By *nvictusMan over a year ago

Beeston

The Custard Cream has been proven, by rigorous scientific research, to be the most dangerous biscuit in the world.

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By *muma OP Woman over a year ago

Livingston

"The Chinese did NOT invent the Pot Noodle!!

The Koreans invented the pot poodle..."

Don't be so bloody daft! Everyone knows it was the Brummies

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The Chinese did NOT invent the Pot Noodle!!

The Koreans invented the pot poodle...

Don't be so bloody daft! Everyone knows it was the Brummies

C'mon, you've seen the adverts. They're from the noodle mines in wales lol

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By *nvictusMan over a year ago

Beeston

n 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune.

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By *muma OP Woman over a year ago

Livingston

"n 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune."

pmsl - singing that blooody theme now ya git!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The Chinese did NOT invent the Pot Noodle!!

The Koreans invented the pot poodle...

Don't be so bloody daft! Everyone knows it was the Brummies

Oi yow.. I' wor uz... Onnist..

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By *unky monkeyMan over a year ago

in the night garden

Dale Winton's skin is made up of human skin. Not his own.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Dale Winton's skin is made up of human skin. Not his own."

pmsl

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Dinosaurs are a very elaborate hoax instigated by the numerous fossil shops throughout the world, for whom an estimated revenue of $4,340,000,000,001 is made each year. "

ahem....and 0.62c

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Dinosaurs are a very elaborate hoax instigated by the numerous fossil shops throughout the world, for whom an estimated revenue of $4,340,000,000,001 is made each year.

ahem....and 0.62c"

That doesnt make cents...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If you pinch your nose closed, you cannot hum!!!

I been trying to do this all day

Bet everyone else did too

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If you pinch your nose closed, you cannot hum!!!

I been trying to do this all day

Bet everyone else did too

yep. even though I was sat at work lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If you pinch your nose closed, you cannot hum!!!

I been trying to do this all day

Bet everyone else did too

Cad I led go dow?

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By *muma OP Woman over a year ago

Livingston

"If you pinch your nose closed, you cannot hum!!!

I been trying to do this all day

Bet everyone else did too

Cad I led go dow?

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, my work here is done!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Jeremy Beadle once owned the world's biggest horse, it measured over 400 hands tall.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

he used to live down my street

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By *nvictusMan over a year ago

Beeston

The small market town of Lower Feddle, Surrey is famous for it's Christmas vicar rolling event held every Boxing day. It is beleived to date back to the late 1600's. Doctor Rowan Keeting, the current Archbishop of Canturbury, was even involved in the event as a young man in 1977.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"he used to live down my street

Tra Mar ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Unimportant Facts about Brunei

1)The smallest named hill in the world is in Brunei Darussalam, possibly the dullest and most bovine backwater in the world.

2)Prince Jefri used to sit in a swivel chair and have russian prostitutes throw fruit at him. He'd done everything else apparently.

3) He also had a boat called tits, with the two lifeboats called nipple one and two.

4) The nearest pub is in Malaysia making pub crawls a cross border experience.

5)The Sultan had a platinum plated helicopter for sale. There have been no offers to date.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i have a long tongue.

is that useless?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

useless says sselesu backwards

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By *muma OP Woman over a year ago

Livingston

"i have a long tongue.

is that useless?

hell no - very useful indeed

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"i have a long tongue.

is that useless?

hell no - very useful indeed

ohhh fank you xxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

yxx dxn't nxxd vxwxls tx rxxd.

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By *uro anchorMan over a year ago

Coventry

i had my hair cut

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"yxx dxn't nxxd vxwxls tx rxxd."

Yes you do. Understanding your message above requires previous knowledge of reading and vowel sounds.

This is not useless enough.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"i had my hair cut"

Which one?

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By *uro anchorMan over a year ago

Coventry

"i had my hair cut

Which one?"

sorry hairs cut.. dont sound right though

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"yxx dxn't nxxd vxwxls tx rxxd.

Yes you do. Understanding your message above requires previous knowledge of reading and vowel sounds.

This is not useless enough."

Ah, but no, it merely requires knowledge of the spoken language and context. Lot's of ancient languages e.g. Phoenecian and even Egyptian heiroglyphs had no vowel sounds.

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By *nvictusMan over a year ago

Beeston

Professor Karl von Keldsing and his team of world renowned Egyptologists were hugely embarressed when the 'secret hieroglphs containing hidden and profound knowledge' from the sarcophagus of the priest Tekumal were recently succesfuly decoded by one of their student team members as reading 'this way up'.

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By *lutandhubbyCouple over a year ago

west midlands

my wifes mobile phone broke when i hit it with a chopper !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

piles cream smooths out wrinkles and lines on the face.

oh yes it does

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When i was born me dad wanted me ta be called xerxes or Troy xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"yxx dxn't nxxd vxwxls tx rxxd.

Yes you do. Understanding your message above requires previous knowledge of reading and vowel sounds.

This is not useless enough.

Ah, but no, it merely requires knowledge of the spoken language and context. Lot's of ancient languages e.g. Phoenecian and even Egyptian heiroglyphs had no vowel sounds."

Ah but yes! Without knowledge of written language and how it looks and what is missing people CANNOT read your fkn stpd msg ....NOW then .... You did not write in Phncn OR gptn. STILL not useless enough !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When i was born me dad wanted me ta be called xerxes or Troy xx

Does that say sissy ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"i had my hair cut

Which one?

sorry hairs cut.. dont sound right though"

... and me asking 'which ones' doesnt sound right either

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When i was born me dad wanted me ta be called xerxes or Troy xx

Does that say sissy ?"

Nop zerksees phonetically lol xx

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By *andKCouple over a year ago

Norfolk

I will apologise in advance as I can't be arsed to read all the posts and this might have been said already

Today is yesterday's tomorrow

or put another way

today is tomorrow's yesterday

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"yxx dxn't nxxd vxwxls tx rxxd.

Yes you do. Understanding your message above requires previous knowledge of reading and vowel sounds.

This is not useless enough.

Ah, but no, it merely requires knowledge of the spoken language and context. Lot's of ancient languages e.g. Phoenecian and even Egyptian heiroglyphs had no vowel sounds."

“Here is the news in Egypt. Man with a hat, man with a hat, dog with a gun. Pig, pig,

pig coming. Man, duck, duck with a gun. Man coming. There’s an eyeball walking along

(mumbles)… chicken, chicken with a banjo. Dog, really powerful dog comes along and a cat got

him in an arm lock and … three things … big eye, big eye, fish, cat"

E. Izzard

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By *unky monkeyMan over a year ago

in the night garden

If you put all the christmas cards sent last christmas back to back in a row they would probably make a very long line, possibly visible from space, or that could touch the moon. Which is made from cheese! During a solar storm millions of years ago The Sun melted a bit of the moon's cheese off and it fell on the earth wiping out the dinosaurs and turning South America into a giant cheese toastie.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"he used to live down my street

Tra Mar ?"

funnily enough, I was born a stones throw from Tra Mar but I meant Jeremy.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"i have a long tongue.

is that useless?

Can I suck it and see?

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By *iker BullMan over a year ago

leeds

well spotted

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"yxx dxn't nxxd vxwxls tx rxxd.

Yes you do. Understanding your message above requires previous knowledge of reading and vowel sounds.

This is not useless enough.

Ah, but no, it merely requires knowledge of the spoken language and context. Lot's of ancient languages e.g. Phoenecian and even Egyptian heiroglyphs had no vowel sounds.

Ikut kiri kekuali semasa memontong. (malay, look it up)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No. Speak English to me.

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By *andKCouple over a year ago

Norfolk

"No. Speak English to me. "

Do they in Liverpool?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Do they what ?

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By *andKCouple over a year ago

Norfolk

"Do they what ?"

speak English?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Do they what ?

speak English?"

no but they'll steal your virginity, then sell it. It means keep left except when overtaking.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I will reply to that if ever I am unfortunate enough to meet you both in the flesh.

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By *andKCouple over a year ago

Norfolk

"I will reply to that if ever I am unfortunate enough to meet you both in the flesh. "

awwwww you luffs me really

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By *uro anchorMan over a year ago

Coventry

coventry lost today....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I will reply to that if ever I am unfortunate enough to meet you both in the flesh. "

flesh? hmmmmm

happy new year.

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By *andKCouple over a year ago

Norfolk

"coventry lost today...."

but West Ham won!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"coventry lost today...."

coventry haven't won since 1941

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/12/10 22:45:47]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Can men pee with an erection - i know its completely random in this thread but what the hell, also if men are on the verge of cumming, can they still pee then ?

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By *uro anchorMan over a year ago

Coventry

"coventry lost today....

coventry haven't won since 1941

tut tut.... 1987... fa cup

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By *andKCouple over a year ago

Norfolk

"Can men pee with an erection - i know its completely random in this thread but what the hell, also if men are on the verge of cumming, can they still pee then ?"

yes, and not tried it, but I'll report back in the morning

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I will reply to that if ever I am unfortunate enough to meet you both in the flesh.

awwwww you luffs me really

Yes but you still must die. I will speak English to you with my baseball bat whilst I steal your virginity ( apparently )

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By *andKCouple over a year ago

Norfolk

"I will reply to that if ever I am unfortunate enough to meet you both in the flesh.

awwwww you luffs me really

Yes but you still must die. I will speak English to you with my baseball bat whilst I steal your virginity ( apparently ) "

mmmmmmmm now that could be interesting

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By *ingleguy1973Man over a year ago

peterborough

"Can men pee with an erection - i know its completely random in this thread but what the hell, also if men are on the verge of cumming, can they still pee then ?"

yes... can pee with an erection but it is very difficult to aim at the toilet when your cock is pointing upwards

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Can men pee with an erection - i know its completely random in this thread but what the hell, also if men are on the verge of cumming, can they still pee then ?

yes... can pee with an erection but it is very difficult to aim at the toilet when your cock is pointing upwards "

just stand on your head silly

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

1. If a lobster loses an eye it will grow another one

2. Horses can't vomit and pigs cant look up

3. In france it is legal to marry a dead person

4. All polars bears are left handed

5. Flamingos piss on their legsbto cool themselves off

6. A rat can fall from a 5 storey building without getting hurt

7. Turkeys can make babies without having sex

8. More than 10 people a year are killed by vending machines

9. If you write the words 1 to 999 you dont use the letter A

10. Crocodiles swollow stones to sink

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By *andKCouple over a year ago

Norfolk

"Can men pee with an erection - i know its completely random in this thread but what the hell, also if men are on the verge of cumming, can they still pee then ?

yes... can pee with an erection but it is very difficult to aim at the toilet when your cock is pointing upwards

just stand on your head silly"

if you are really clever you calculate the parabolic curve and stand the correct distance away from the pan gradually moving closer as the pressure subsides!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I will reply to that if ever I am unfortunate enough to meet you both in the flesh.

awwwww you luffs me really

Yes but you still must die. I will speak English to you with my baseball bat whilst I steal your virginity ( apparently ) "

We all must die. Bummer

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I will reply to that if ever I am unfortunate enough to meet you both in the flesh.

awwwww you luffs me really

Yes but you still must die. I will speak English to you with my baseball bat whilst I steal your virginity ( apparently ) "

We all must die. Bummer

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By *uro anchorMan over a year ago

Coventry

"1. If a lobster loses an eye it will grow another one

2. Horses can't vomit and pigs cant look up

3. In france it is legal to marry a dead person

4. All polars bears are left handed

5. Flamingos piss on their legsbto cool themselves off

6. A rat can fall from a 5 storey building without getting hurt

7. Turkeys can make babies without having sex

8. More than 10 people a year are killed by vending machines

9. If you write the words 1 to 999 you dont use the letter A

10. Crocodiles swollow stones to sink"

love ur facts.. but do turkeys have babies ?....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

you can, you just have to open your mouth.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If all the Page 3 girls were laid end to end..

No one would be at all surprised.

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By *uro anchorMan over a year ago

Coventry

"If all the Page 3 girls were laid end to end..

No one would be at all surprised."

but would u see them from space ?..

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By *andKCouple over a year ago

Norfolk

"If all the Page 3 girls were laid end to end..

No one would be at all surprised.

but would u see them from space ?.."

would it be the twin peaks show?

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By *y_funcoupleCouple over a year ago

SHEFFIELD

A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue!

That is one long tongue!!! mmm

Leonardo De Vinci invented the scissors.

So many useless facts so little time xx

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By *im53Man over a year ago

Boldon

"There are no poisonous snakes native to the UK."

err your forgetting the adder

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There are no poisonous snakes native to the UK.

err your forgetting the adder "

Aw come on... Atkinson aint that bad...

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By *he Happy ManMan over a year ago

Merseyside

So do eggs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Men are never right....so Ive been told

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By *uro anchorMan over a year ago

Coventry

Llamas are bigger than frogs...

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By *ingleguy1973Man over a year ago

peterborough

"Can men pee with an erection - i know its completely random in this thread but what the hell, also if men are on the verge of cumming, can they still pee then ?

yes... can pee with an erection but it is very difficult to aim at the toilet when your cock is pointing upwards

just stand on your head silly

if you are really clever you calculate the parabolic curve and stand the correct distance away from the pan gradually moving closer as the pressure subsides!!!!"

that is an art that goes beyond clever. it requires years of training and dedication that would shame a shoalin monk or a jedi knight. a bit too much effort just to have a piss with a hard on and not make a mess

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By *andKCouple over a year ago

Norfolk

"Can men pee with an erection - i know its completely random in this thread but what the hell, also if men are on the verge of cumming, can they still pee then ?

yes... can pee with an erection but it is very difficult to aim at the toilet when your cock is pointing upwards

just stand on your head silly

if you are really clever you calculate the parabolic curve and stand the correct distance away from the pan gradually moving closer as the pressure subsides!!!!

that is true - you could always go in the bath

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"1. If a lobster loses an eye it will grow another one

2. Horses can't vomit and pigs cant look up

3. In france it is legal to marry a dead person

4. All polars bears are left handed

5. Flamingos piss on their legsbto cool themselves off

6. A rat can fall from a 5 storey building without getting hurt

7. Turkeys can make babies without having sex

8. More than 10 people a year are killed by vending machines

9. If you write the words 1 to 999 you dont use the letter A

10. Crocodiles swollow stones to sink"

What about nine hundred And ninety nine?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Llamas are bigger than frogs..."

Nicholas Sarkosi is not typical...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

goats are smaller than a lion but larger than a mouse.

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By *ingleguy1973Man over a year ago

peterborough

"Can men pee with an erection - i know its completely random in this thread but what the hell, also if men are on the verge of cumming, can they still pee then ?

yes... can pee with an erection but it is very difficult to aim at the toilet when your cock is pointing upwards

just stand on your head silly

if you are really clever you calculate the parabolic curve and stand the correct distance away from the pan gradually moving closer as the pressure subsides!!!!

that is true - you could always go in the bath

but the water goes yellow and the bubbles dont last as long

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *andKCouple over a year ago

Norfolk

"Can men pee with an erection - i know its completely random in this thread but what the hell, also if men are on the verge of cumming, can they still pee then ?

yes... can pee with an erection but it is very difficult to aim at the toilet when your cock is pointing upwards

just stand on your head silly

if you are really clever you calculate the parabolic curve and stand the correct distance away from the pan gradually moving closer as the pressure subsides!!!!

that is true - you could always go in the bath

but the water goes yellow and the bubbles dont last as long

well you can't have everything lol

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By *ingleguy1973Man over a year ago

peterborough

"Can men pee with an erection - i know its completely random in this thread but what the hell, also if men are on the verge of cumming, can they still pee then ?

yes... can pee with an erection but it is very difficult to aim at the toilet when your cock is pointing upwards

just stand on your head silly

if you are really clever you calculate the parabolic curve and stand the correct distance away from the pan gradually moving closer as the pressure subsides!!!!

that is true - you could always go in the bath

but the water goes yellow and the bubbles dont last as long

well you can't have everything lol"

no harm in trying to have it all

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By *andKCouple over a year ago

Norfolk

"Can men pee with an erection - i know its completely random in this thread but what the hell, also if men are on the verge of cumming, can they still pee then ?

yes... can pee with an erection but it is very difficult to aim at the toilet when your cock is pointing upwards

just stand on your head silly

if you are really clever you calculate the parabolic curve and stand the correct distance away from the pan gradually moving closer as the pressure subsides!!!!

that is true - you could always go in the bath

but the water goes yellow and the bubbles dont last as long

well you can't have everything lol

no harm in trying to have it all

as the saying goes "you can please some of the people all of the time and you can please all the people some of the time but you can't pleasse all the people all of the time! especially when it comes to peeing in the bath pmsl

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By *ingleguy1973Man over a year ago

peterborough

"Can men pee with an erection - i know its completely random in this thread but what the hell, also if men are on the verge of cumming, can they still pee then ?

yes... can pee with an erection but it is very difficult to aim at the toilet when your cock is pointing upwards

just stand on your head silly

if you are really clever you calculate the parabolic curve and stand the correct distance away from the pan gradually moving closer as the pressure subsides!!!!

that is true - you could always go in the bath

but the water goes yellow and the bubbles dont last as long

well you can't have everything lol

no harm in trying to have it all

very true... i think ill stop there before people start thinking i have some strange bath related water-sports fetish lol

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By *uro anchorMan over a year ago

Coventry

"1. If a lobster loses an eye it will grow another one

2. Horses can't vomit and pigs cant look up

3. In france it is legal to marry a dead person

4. All polars bears are left handed

5. Flamingos piss on their legsbto cool themselves off

6. A rat can fall from a 5 storey building without getting hurt

7. Turkeys can make babies without having sex

8. More than 10 people a year are killed by vending machines

9. If you write the words 1 to 999 you dont use the letter A

10. Crocodiles swollow stones to sink

What about nine hundred And ninety nine?

what about one hundred and one ? xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Rain is wet.

I am off to bed.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I am off to bed. "

As you arent inviting me... Yup... Thats a useless fact..

Sweet dreams

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By *aucy3Couple over a year ago

glasgow

"If all the Page 3 girls were laid end to end..

No one would be at all surprised.

but would u see them from space ?.."

no,but you can see them from the sun.

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By *aucy3Couple over a year ago

glasgow

this is the longest thread,rugby has'nt closed.

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By *aucy3Couple over a year ago

glasgow

"If you pinch your nose closed, you cannot hum!!!

you can still hum,you just can't smell it.

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By *aucy3Couple over a year ago

glasgow

"Men are never right....so Ive been told

did a man,tell you that.

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By *aucy3Couple over a year ago

glasgow

if you stay up,till three o clock am.all fab swingers,are in there beds.

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By *uro anchorMan over a year ago

Coventry

coventry city kick off at 12

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I painted that toe nail

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By *uro anchorMan over a year ago

Coventry

"I painted that toe nail "

which toe nail ?....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

no,but you can see them from the sun."

Youre a Star

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

no,but you can see them from the sun.

Youre a Star

Smooth talker xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

no,but you can see them from the sun.

Youre a Star

Smooth talker xx

There are Times... I try not to Telegraph it about...;-)

And my talking is no match for your singing... According to Utube...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

no,but you can see them from the sun.

Youre a Star

Smooth talker xx

There are Times... I try not to Telegraph it about...;-)

And my talking is no match for your singing... According to Utube...

Dont tell me shes put em up please dont tell me that xx

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By *aravancoupleMan over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love

It takes 7 seconds for food to pass from mouth to stomach. A human hair can hold 3kg. The length of a penis is 3 times the length of the thumb. The femur is as hard as concrete. A woman's heart beats faster then a man's. Women blink 2x as much as men. We use 300 muscles just to keep our balance when we stand. The woman has read this entire text. The man is still looking at his thumb.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Bamboo can grow up to three feet in a 24 hour period.

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By *aucy3Couple over a year ago

glasgow

there are more stars in the universe,than grains of sand,on every beach on earth.

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By *aucy3Couple over a year ago

glasgow

a light year is equaul to,six point seven trillion miles.

if you'r walking,wear good shoes.

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By *unky monkeyMan over a year ago

in the night garden

Most lobsters are actually a greeny/grey colour.

The pink ones which are much tastier are found in gay clubs.

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By *uro anchorMan over a year ago

Coventry

"Llamas are bigger than frogs..."

if you see a Llama swimming by people

Shout.. look out there are Llamas look out there are Llamas...

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