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The carer dies before the patient
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Sorry to bring down the tone of the forums this evening, but as our friends will know Mark and me have both lost our parents,but as Marks dad had a stroke years ago , his mum cared for him and died first.My dad had bone cancer and mum looked after him but she died first.Mark and I have cared for elderly neighbours for the last 9 years, the old guy with severe dementia with his wife caring for him. Tonight we were told she has aggressive lung cancer and has weeks left  . another example of the care going first. Has anyone else noticed this in there lives. its like being a carer just sucks the life out of you. Apologies again just upset and probably over thinking things xx Ali |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sadly I see this quite regularly . A person often brings their loved ones to stay at our care home as they can no longer cope due to being elderly themselves and sadly often pass first. |
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This happened with my grandparents. My grandma was so fit and always on the go right up until she went into hospital, where she died 4 weeks later.
My grandad was basically dependant on her until that day, but outlived her by 8 years |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Good night all , heads all over the place so sleeps probably the best option xx Sleep well or do what ever comes your way and enjoy the rest of your evening xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Good night all , heads all over the place so sleeps probably the best option xx Sleep well or do what ever comes your way and enjoy the rest of your evening xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx"
Night, take care xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"there is help out there for cares but it just seems to us that the cares just get so drained helping others that it does no good to themselves xxx"
Yes I have experienced this, not 1st hand but I do think the caring for another bought on the early demise of the carer.
Big hugs xx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry to bring down the tone of the forums this evening, but as our friends will know Mark and me have both lost our parents,but as Marks dad had a stroke years ago , his mum cared for him and died first.My dad had bone cancer and mum looked after him but she died first.Mark and I have cared for elderly neighbours for the last 9 years, the old guy with severe dementia with his wife caring for him. Tonight we were told she has aggressive lung cancer and has weeks left . another example of the care going first. Has anyone else noticed this in there lives. its like being a carer just sucks the life out of you. Apologies again just upset and probably over thinking things xx Ali "
This is why I left my job recently, it's hard to look after someone that you get paid for let alone someone that your connected to and means something in your life, that you can't walk away from, I salute every single carer out there! Your all stars in my eyes x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Same experience here, my dad looked after my mum for 6 years, full bill of health, one morning he went out and had a heart attack!
Been 8 years since we lost him, mum is very poorly and on her last legs, but not giving up without a fight!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A great aunt of mine went like this, she looked after her scumbag of a partner while he couldn't be arsed working(he was 30years younger) until she couldn't walk. Got bone cancer that claimed her spine. Told my nana(her sister, the only siblings that were close out of 11) that she had maybe a year.. she lasted 6 weeks life sucks sometimes but there's nothing you can do about the good ones going sadly. Keep them smiling when things get dark. Sorry to hear that. Our condolences about your neighbour |
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