FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Dishonest!!!
Dishonest!!!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have been FB/friends with a guy for over 14 months now, seeing 2 /3 times a week.. Visiting him home..and fucking the life out of him.. So how did I miss the fact he got married in April..
What should I do... ??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"MFF.  "
Anyway, sorry to hear that OP - I guess it depends on what you want from a FB. No strings, no emotional ties? Or something more than that? Does it matter? Communication is the key isn't it - talk to him  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think I'd be pretty pissed off with him if that was me. You have described the situation as FB/friends. Just because there is a FB element in there it does not mean that there should be no respect show. Why has he not told you and valued the friendship part of the agreement? He'd be history hun. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Are you complaining because you didn't get an invite to the wedding?
Seriously you have to question your own powers of observation if you misjudged the relationship that much. People don't in general just get married, so you musthave switched off to a lot of what he was up to; or chose not to enquire. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me even if its Fb of nsa there has to be respect and trust, deceit shows there is neither so that would be it done.
I wouldn't cause a scene or confront them though, I'd just walk away, block their number and never look back...they weren't the person you thought they were |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have been FB/friends with a guy for over 14 months now, seeing 2 /3 times a week.. Visiting him home..and fucking the life out of him.. So how did I miss the fact he got married in April..
What should I do... ??? "
Depends what you want to do
If the fact he's married does not bother you carry on, some women are happy to meet cheating men, other wise stop seeing him |
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By *andS66Couple
over a year ago
Derby |
It depends entirely on you as to what you do...
If you are so upset at him for his dishonesty, are you happy enough to continue with him as your FB?
Does his wife know?
How did you find out he'd got married?
Did you know he was in a relationship?
How do you feel about fidelity?
To us, it sounds like he's been taking the piss for quite some time. Only you can make the decision as to if you give him a second chance. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me even if its Fb of nsa there has to be respect and trust, deceit shows there is neither so that would be it done.
I wouldn't cause a scene or confront them though, I'd just walk away, block their number and never look back...they weren't the person you thought they were"
This for me to. Recently my fb/fwb was dishonest with me about something. I have cut all ties now and moving forward. Trust is a massive issue with me wether it be in fab world or real world, relationship or friendship. I have no space in my life for people in my life who are liars, dishonest and not trust worthy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have been FB/friends with a guy for over 14 months now, seeing 2 /3 times a week.. Visiting him home..and fucking the life out of him.. So how did I miss the fact he got married in April..
What should I do... ??? "
I used to meet a guy semi regular who accommodated, never crossed my mind he was married, never thought in a million years a guy would take a woman off here back to his home if he lived with his wife, but some do, after half a dozen or so meets I started noticing things, when I asked him he admitted he was married and his wife was at work, how he pulled it off for so long I have no idea but you don't go to peoples homes and have a good nosey round he obviously just moved all the obvious tell tail signs till I had gone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have been FB/friends with a guy for over 14 months now, seeing 2 /3 times a week.. Visiting him home..and fucking the life out of him.. So how did I miss the fact he got married in April..
What should I do... ??? "
get a new FB bit disrespectful that's made you feel used I bet |
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"For me even if its Fb of nsa there has to be respect and trust, deceit shows there is neither so that would be it done.
I wouldn't cause a scene or confront them though, I'd just walk away, block their number and never look back...they weren't the person you thought they were
This for me to. Recently my fb/fwb was dishonest with me about something. I have cut all ties now and moving forward. Trust is a massive issue with me wether it be in fab world or real world, relationship or friendship. I have no space in my life for people in my life who are liars, dishonest and not trust worthy"
Both of these for me! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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hmm L is working away a lot at the moment, often in a different country, which is why we took down our couples profile, and I dont meet for NSA. but I look at the house and she is very much in evidence. No single bloke has 5 full wardrobes for a start... there is no way short of a permanent blindfold that anyone would not notice her impact on my home.
but to answer the op, if you are not looking to play with guys in relationships then move on, else ask for a three some. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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1. I would be pissed off that he didn't tell me! Even though your FB and your fucking 2/3 times a week, I'd like to think he could have told me that VERY important thing called getting married.
I know some fuck buddies don't have any respect for each other or one might have it and the other doesn't, but me personally I'd want equal amounts of respect and trust... If there isn't any of those... He can fuck off!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me even if its Fb of nsa there has to be respect and trust, deceit shows there is neither so that would be it done.
I wouldn't cause a scene or confront them though, I'd just walk away, block their number and never look back...they weren't the person you thought they were
This for me to. Recently my fb/fwb was dishonest with me about something. I have cut all ties now and moving forward. Trust is a massive issue with me wether it be in fab world or real world, relationship or friendship. I have no space in my life for people in my life who are liars, dishonest and not trust worthy
Both of these for me! "
Same |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You sound hurt n let down hun so I have to pose the question are any of us really capable of having a totally NSA FB relationship because as humans we have emotions and the more time we spend with someone we inevitably become emotionally invest to some degree or another feelings develop and that opens us to having our feelings hurt.
Hope you make the right choices for you hun n remember time is a great healer n heartache is a lesson we learn from n we grow n become stronger for those lessons
Huggles xxxxxxx Helen xxxx |
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His idea of a fuck buddy relationship is clearly very different to yours and he is not your friend.
Are you asking what you should do because you don't know if you should tell his wife? Or are you wondering if you should continue the relationship? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Send a card, but not a gift. "
I'd be pissed off...the friend element means that I'd expect him to have told me about something as big and life changing as that! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"His idea of a fuck buddy relationship is clearly very different to yours and he is not your friend.
Are you asking what you should do because you don't know if you should tell his wife? Or are you wondering if you should continue the relationship?"
I agree definitely not her friend.
I wouldn't even think about telling the wife. Come to think of it, did she know he had a girlfriend  |
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"For me even if its Fb of nsa there has to be respect and trust, deceit shows there is neither so that would be it done.
e"
Yes, I don't know why people think the term nsa means carte blanche to behave badly towards others.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"His idea of a fuck buddy relationship is clearly very different to yours and he is not your friend.
Are you asking what you should do because you don't know if you should tell his wife? Or are you wondering if you should continue the relationship?
I agree definitely not her friend.
I wouldn't even think about telling the wife. Come to think of it, did she know he had a girlfriend "
That's a hard one
on one hand if my husband had been cheating on me before or marriage, through the marriage and after the marriage I can honestly say I would want to know and would appreciate being told
but on the other hand I couldn't be the one to break somebody's heart by telling them |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
I guess he is no longer a FB/Friend and will have to look for someone else to meet with.
You will need to brush yourself down and get on with it. It can't be nice to know but learn from it. All that glitters is not gold. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"can't help but feel for his wife
I mean what a way to start off your married life "
yes and he was Fucking you leading up to the wedding did he ever call you by her name ? |
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"Go with your gut feeling. Talking helps x"
Same happened to me. The marriage topic never came up until he told me they'd only been married a matter of weeks before we met. I wag in total shock: guilty etc. We talked lots.
You have to weigh up whether you want to be the other woman. It's incredibly hard but fun at the same time.
I was in complete shock when he told me they'd only been married a short while; took a step back for a short while then decided as long as our expectations were the same there was no reason to stop seeing each other.
I don't want him for ever; I have a husband already, he's very happily married; it's win:win as long as neither of our spouses find out. Long may it last.
Don't shoot me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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IMO the op sounds a little bitter and jealous perhaps.
You could possibly keep a bf/gf secret for a little, not for long as most people are clued up enough to spot the tell tale signs. You definately could keep a wife secret though? The living together, the honeymoon. Yes the wife could have been in on it but high unlikely. I'm thinking the OP had more intentions than being a fwb, the guy didn't want that now she's jealous he chose his wife not her.
Just sayin |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"IMO the op sounds a little bitter and jealous perhaps.
You could possibly keep a bf/gf secret for a little, not for long as most people are clued up enough to spot the tell tale signs. You definately could keep a wife secret though? The living together, the honeymoon. Yes the wife could have been in on it but high unlikely. I'm thinking the OP had more intentions than being a fwb, the guy didn't want that now she's jealous he chose his wife not her.
Just sayin "
What the hell did you read that I didn't to come to that conclusion |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"His idea of a fuck buddy relationship is clearly very different to yours and he is not your friend.
Are you asking what you should do because you don't know if you should tell his wife? Or are you wondering if you should continue the relationship?
I agree definitely not her friend.
I wouldn't even think about telling the wife. Come to think of it, did she know he had a girlfriend
That's a hard one
on one hand if my husband had been cheating on me before or marriage, through the marriage and after the marriage I can honestly say I would want to know and would appreciate being told
but on the other hand I couldn't be the one to break somebody's heart by telling them "
Quite a few years ago now my best friend at the time boyfriend was cheating on her, I knew this as me and her boyfriend worked together in the same store. I didn't think twice in telling her, she was my best friend! So I told her, she was so upset she marched round to where he was then they ended up comong back to mine! Me and my boyfriend at the time upstairs giving them space! Whilst they were down stairs talking.
Anyway in the end he lied his way out of it, I looked the bad guy! so from that day on Iv vowed never to do it again.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP was you looking for more from him .?Its No strings sex what is on offer here.? Was you thinking you was more because you was friends and he was FB .? Or do you not now trust him as don't tell you everything about his life .? See here some people can be who ever they like its a escape to some from normal vanilla life. OP you live and you learn and hope this has not hurt your feelings . xxx |
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"IMO the op sounds a little bitter and jealous perhaps.
You could possibly keep a bf/gf secret for a little, not for long as most people are clued up enough to spot the tell tale signs. You definately could keep a wife secret though? The living together, the honeymoon. Yes the wife could have been in on it but high unlikely. I'm thinking the OP had more intentions than being a fwb, the guy didn't want that now she's jealous he chose his wife not her.
Just sayin "
Did you get out of bed the wrong side again? 
I had a relationship with someone for six months before I discovered he was married and I'm not stupid or naive.
There are all sorts of circumstances in these situations. It's a bit harsh to judge someone as being bitter/jealous when you're on the outside looking in without a full picture. It's a shock when you find out someone you're close to has lied and deceived you when you trusted them and looking to others with similar experiences for advice on how to deal with it is perfectly natural.
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"Are you complaining because you didn't get an invite to the wedding?
Seriously you have to question your own powers of observation if you misjudged the relationship that much. People don't in general just get married, so you musthave switched off to a lot of what he was up to; or chose not to enquire. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"His idea of a fuck buddy relationship is clearly very different to yours and he is not your friend.
Are you asking what you should do because you don't know if you should tell his wife? Or are you wondering if you should continue the relationship?
I agree definitely not her friend.
I wouldn't even think about telling the wife. Come to think of it, did she know he had a girlfriend
That's a hard one
on one hand if my husband had been cheating on me before or marriage, through the marriage and after the marriage I can honestly say I would want to know and would appreciate being told
but on the other hand I couldn't be the one to break somebody's heart by telling them
Quite a few years ago now my best friend at the time boyfriend was cheating on her, I knew this as me and her boyfriend worked together in the same store. I didn't think twice in telling her, she was my best friend! So I told her, she was so upset she marched round to where he was then they ended up comong back to mine! Me and my boyfriend at the time upstairs giving them space! Whilst they were down stairs talking.
Anyway in the end he lied his way out of it, I looked the bad guy! so from that day on Iv vowed never to do it again.
"
yeah I've had that too, by my sister, the problem is some people love their partner so much they want to believe it's a lie and will blame anybody else to avoid the truth
my sister husband came into me one night, not just flirting in was very full on I had to push him away a couple of times cause he kept touching me, so i told her and when she confronted him he said it was me who came into him and because he turned me down I made this up to get back at him and she believed him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"IMO the op sounds a little bitter and jealous perhaps.
You could possibly keep a bf/gf secret for a little, not for long as most people are clued up enough to spot the tell tale signs. You definately could keep a wife secret though? The living together, the honeymoon. Yes the wife could have been in on it but high unlikely. I'm thinking the OP had more intentions than being a fwb, the guy didn't want that now she's jealous he chose his wife not her.
Just sayin
Did you get out of bed the wrong side again?
I had a relationship with someone for six months before I discovered he was married and I'm not stupid or naive.
There are all sorts of circumstances in these situations. It's a bit harsh to judge someone as being bitter/jealous when you're on the outside looking in without a full picture. It's a shock when you find out someone you're close to has lied and deceived you when you trusted them and looking to others with similar experiences for advice on how to deal with it is perfectly natural.
"
It was for 14 months. 14 months? Just how? I just can't even comprehend that.
I real hate mornings. Can you tell? BUT I'm just being a realist, 14 months though? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"His idea of a fuck buddy relationship is clearly very different to yours and he is not your friend.
Are you asking what you should do because you don't know if you should tell his wife? Or are you wondering if you should continue the relationship?
I agree definitely not her friend.
I wouldn't even think about telling the wife. Come to think of it, did she know he had a girlfriend
That's a hard one
on one hand if my husband had been cheating on me before or marriage, through the marriage and after the marriage I can honestly say I would want to know and would appreciate being told
but on the other hand I couldn't be the one to break somebody's heart by telling them
Quite a few years ago now my best friend at the time boyfriend was cheating on her, I knew this as me and her boyfriend worked together in the same store. I didn't think twice in telling her, she was my best friend! So I told her, she was so upset she marched round to where he was then they ended up comong back to mine! Me and my boyfriend at the time upstairs giving them space! Whilst they were down stairs talking.
Anyway in the end he lied his way out of it, I looked the bad guy! so from that day on Iv vowed never to do it again.
yeah I've had that too, by my sister, the problem is some people love their partner so much they want to believe it's a lie and will blame anybody else to avoid the truth
my sister husband came into me one night, not just flirting in was very full on I had to push him away a couple of times cause he kept touching me, so i told her and when she confronted him he said it was me who came into him and because he turned me down I made this up to get back at him and she believed him "
Yes I understand they do, I probably done the same with my first love, even though he was a cheating fucker I really loved him.
Your own sister that's even worse, poor you.
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"IMO the op sounds a little bitter and jealous perhaps.
You could possibly keep a bf/gf secret for a little, not for long as most people are clued up enough to spot the tell tale signs. You definately could keep a wife secret though? The living together, the honeymoon. Yes the wife could have been in on it but high unlikely. I'm thinking the OP had more intentions than being a fwb, the guy didn't want that now she's jealous he chose his wife not her.
Just sayin
Did you get out of bed the wrong side again?
I had a relationship with someone for six months before I discovered he was married and I'm not stupid or naive.
There are all sorts of circumstances in these situations. It's a bit harsh to judge someone as being bitter/jealous when you're on the outside looking in without a full picture. It's a shock when you find out someone you're close to has lied and deceived you when you trusted them and looking to others with similar experiences for advice on how to deal with it is perfectly natural.
It was for 14 months. 14 months? Just how? I just can't even comprehend that.
I real hate mornings. Can you tell? BUT I'm just being a realist, 14 months though?"
Yeah it's a long time to not notice but the ins and outs aren't visible to us. The OP doesn't say that they spent all their time at his. It could be he and his now wife didn't live together before they got married. There are any number of reasons that there wasn't an obvious woman's touch at his place. Without knowing the facts, we shouldn't really be suggesting what sort of person the OP is. Wrong side of bed or not! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Poor woman, just got married and the guy was cheating all along, just proves you can't change a man. Typical most men don't understand with their responses. |
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
This is always the danger of starting to meet someone on a regular basis. I had promised to myself that I would never do that but that is exactly what I have ended up doing
However, I keep contact with them in-between visits to the barest minimum. I do not want to get into the habit of knowing what they are doing or them knowing what I am. This is a bit difficult as they are on FabS too
I am certain that one day when we stop seeing each other I will experience a sense of loss. But I have thought about that feeling and am prepared to just accept it and move on
So, my advice will be to accept that he is gone and next time, shield yourself against the inevitable emotional upset |
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"I have been FB/friends with a guy for over 14 months now, seeing 2 /3 times a week.. Visiting him home..and fucking the life out of him.. So how did I miss the fact he got married in April..
What should I do... ??? "
You only seem surprised he got married ....not that clearly he must of been with her probably longer than you've been seeing him! Did you know there was a gf?? No pictures of them in the place? No female clothes ,perfumes or cosmetics anywhere ?? If you were totally in the dark about there being any partner then seems like you chose not to acknowledge it .
What ever the background the fact is he never told you something as huge as getting married ! What else then hasn't he told you?? Shows Complet lack of respect to you and as said zero trust .
If you are happy to be treated like that then that's totally your decision. Personally I'd drop him like a bad habit .
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To be honest I'd be well and truelly pissed off......with myself. If I had been going to a guys house 2/3 times a week for 14 months and hadn't worked out he was in a relationship.
Did you ever discuss whether he was in a relationship? If he had lied and said he wasn't in a relationship then he would be gone. |
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"I think I'd be pretty pissed off with him if that was me. You have described the situation as FB/friends. Just because there is a FB element in there it does not mean that there should be no respect show. Why has he not told you and valued the friendship part of the agreement? He'd be history hun. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes but 14 months 3 times a week sorry he took you for a mug ,imagine you had feelings for this guy and that's a shame but a man that could do that to you even in the guise of a NSA swinger and then to marry the woman of his dreams who one can only assume isn't a swinger ,well it says bucket loads to me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thank fuck I'm single so can avoid all this drama
I do feel for the OP but don't ever apply for the police will you lol
Maybe your feelings for him clouded your judgement, either way, it's pretty shit of him not to tell you himself. Not much respect for you on his part  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Unless he used a friend's place to meet you I'm wondering how you didn't see any sign of a woman living with him. "
Some people are really good at this and its a art . Some think of everything and like different people to get away with it . Thing is when you feel you can read people well you feel f--KED pissed off as they got one over on you . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP did he tell you he was married himself that's how you found out .? If so did you ask him why was he seeing you if happy and married.? Have to say I feel sorry for his wife too .. if she know nothing about the real man she is married too Poor woman. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Unless he used a friend's place to meet you I'm wondering how you didn't see any sign of a woman living with him. Some people are really good at this and its a art . Some think of everything and like different people to get away with it . Thing is when you feel you can read people well you feel f--KED pissed off as they got one over on you . "
Some people are devious and calculating when they want their cake and eat it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"he would be gone thats just not on like fb or not he should have told you "
Agreed. Please tell me you at least knew he was in a relationship. At the end of the day there has to be an element of trust and friendship with a 'regular' fb. I think what he did I'd quite cruel tbh. Chin up chick. (Mrs) xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me even if its Fb of nsa there has to be respect and trust, deceit shows there is neither so that would be it done.
e
Yes, I don't know why people think the term nsa means carte blanche to behave badly towards others. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am still surprised at you asking 'what should I do?'
what do you think you should do"
I must admit I found that bit odd too
I don't think I'd need the opinions of a bunch of strangers off the internet to help me make my mind up on that one |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Qwhen you meet people of here you should expect some things to be hidden....
X"
this is true
I don't want to know their sir name, where they live, how many kids they have, what their job is etc
I would however want to know if they were getting married on Friday
not everybody meets attached people playing away and we should be told these things so we can make an informed decision on if we want to meet this person or not |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am still surprised at you asking 'what should I do?'
what do you think you should do"
If she is having mind blowing sex 3 /4 times a week and doing this for months she will miss it, but there is more fish in the sea here. Woman and men do this and can look at there loved ones right in the face think its ok because its nothing but sex its really nothing .. but I bet it is for the person who knows nothings about it if they new . So its really up to her and her values . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am still surprised at you asking 'what should I do?'
what do you think you should do
I must admit I found that bit odd too
I don't think I'd need the opinions of a bunch of strangers off the internet to help me make my mind up on that one "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me even if its Fb of nsa there has to be respect and trust, deceit shows there is neither so that would be it done.
I wouldn't cause a scene or confront them though, I'd just walk away, block their number and never look back...they weren't the person you thought they were
This for me to. Recently my fb/fwb was dishonest with me about something. I have cut all ties now and moving forward. Trust is a massive issue with me wether it be in fab world or real world, relationship or friendship. I have no space in my life for people in my life who are liars, dishonest and not trust worthy"
This has answered a question for me. I had a fb who became more of a friend who, recently, has treated me like a fool and disrespectfully. I like this guy, I thought he was a friend, but it appears he doesn't see me the same way. He needs to be sent to Room 101 I think |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
14 months  either this guys bloody good at hiding shit and you honestly didn't know or deep down you knew and carried on anyway !!
What to do man up it happens paint a smile on your face and carry on what else you gonna do ? |
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"Qwhen you meet people of here you should expect some things to be hidden....
X"
No, I came here to get away from all the deceiving bullshit on dating sites. Man up - be honest and let the dice fall as they may, that is the only way this shit can work without damaging people. |
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"Are you complaining because you didn't get an invite to the wedding?
Seriously you have to question your own powers of observation if you misjudged the relationship that much. People don't in general just get married, so you musthave switched off to a lot of what he was up to; or chose not to enquire. "
this..
OP, cut any ties with him, look at your own selection process and move on..
good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Qwhen you meet people of here you should expect some things to be hidden....
X
this is true
I don't want to know their sir name, where they live, how many kids they have, what their job is etc
I would however want to know if they were getting married on Friday
not everybody meets attached people playing away and we should be told these things so we can make an informed decision on if we want to meet this person or not "
And this is it in a nutshell! It's about making an informed choice. NSA is not about removing someone's choice to decide whether they want to be with you its about communicating honestly with someone what your situation is so THEY can decide if you are for them. NSA is about respect and communication. If you don't have that then they are just being manipulative and selfish. |
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"Qwhen you meet people of here you should expect some things to be hidden....
X
No, I came here to get away from all the deceiving bullshit on dating sites. Man up - be honest and let the dice fall as they may, that is the only way this shit can work without damaging people. "
Agree with what you are saying and whilst that's the ideal position you probably know it will never happen..
there will always be those of both genders who play people for what they want..
bit sad but inevitable .. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Qwhen you meet people of here you should expect some things to be hidden....
X
this is true
I don't want to know their sir name, where they live, how many kids they have, what their job is etc
I would however want to know if they were getting married on Friday
not everybody meets attached people playing away and we should be told these things so we can make an informed decision on if we want to meet this person or not
And this is it in a nutshell! It's about making an informed choice. NSA is not about removing someone's choice to decide whether they want to be with you its about communicating honestly with someone what your situation is so THEY can decide if you are for them. NSA is about respect and communication. If you don't have that then they are just being manipulative and selfish."
sorry maybe I missed something ,I thought NSA meant not sexually active but it means no strings attached god I'm a dumbbell still maybe that's how they both interpretted it ,that they didn't have to communicate everyday life to eachother and that every holes a goal bit harsh this NSA sometimes isn't it ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"NSA is not about removing someone's choice to decide whether they want to be with you its about communicating honestly with someone what your situation is so THEY can decide if you are for them. NSA is about respect and communication. If you don't have that then they are just being manipulative and selfish."
I have something to tell you ....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"NSA is not about removing someone's choice to decide whether they want to be with you its about communicating honestly with someone what your situation is so THEY can decide if you are for them. NSA is about respect and communication. If you don't have that then they are just being manipulative and selfish.
I have something to tell you .... "
Can I be a bridesmaid? lol
I think you need to look at our ownership contract. This is clearly covered on page 6547 x |
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"Qwhen you meet people of here you should expect some things to be hidden....
X
No, I came here to get away from all the deceiving bullshit on dating sites. Man up - be honest and let the dice fall as they may, that is the only way this shit can work without damaging people. "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"NSA is not about removing someone's choice to decide whether they want to be with you its about communicating honestly with someone what your situation is so THEY can decide if you are for them. NSA is about respect and communication. If you don't have that then they are just being manipulative and selfish.
I have something to tell you ....
Can I be a bridesmaid? lol
I think you need to look at our ownership contract. This is clearly covered on page 6547 x"
Hahahaha bridesmaid? At our own wedding? Not sure how that works but I guess it's in the small print eh?  x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"NSA is not about removing someone's choice to decide whether they want to be with you its about communicating honestly with someone what your situation is so THEY can decide if you are for them. NSA is about respect and communication. If you don't have that then they are just being manipulative and selfish.
I have something to tell you ....
Can I be a bridesmaid? lol
I think you need to look at our ownership contract. This is clearly covered on page 6547 x
Hahahaha bridesmaid? At our own wedding? Not sure how that works but I guess it's in the small print eh? x "
I'm a multi tasker and it will save us money. Yep it's in the small print. Whilst your at it dig your vicar suit out |
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"NSA is not about removing someone's choice to decide whether they want to be with you its about communicating honestly with someone what your situation is so THEY can decide if you are for them. NSA is about respect and communication. If you don't have that then they are just being manipulative and selfish.
I have something to tell you ....
Can I be a bridesmaid? lol
I think you need to look at our ownership contract. This is clearly covered on page 6547 x
Hahahaha bridesmaid? At our own wedding? Not sure how that works but I guess it's in the small print eh? x
I'm a multi tasker and it will save us money. Yep it's in the small print. Whilst your at it dig your vicar suit out "
Hey sexy where is my bloody invite! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Qwhen you meet people of here you should expect some things to be hidden....
X
this is true
I don't want to know their sir name, where they live, how many kids they have, what their job is etc
I would however want to know if they were getting married on Friday
not everybody meets attached people playing away and we should be told these things so we can make an informed decision on if we want to meet this person or not
And this is it in a nutshell! It's about making an informed choice. NSA is not about removing someone's choice to decide whether they want to be with you its about communicating honestly with someone what your situation is so THEY can decide if you are for them. NSA is about respect and communication. If you don't have that then they are just being manipulative and selfish."
I think it depends whose interpretations it ive been told by quite a few women it means they don't have to tell you what they are doing and don't expect you to tell them and to be honest if I went into a restaurant and saw the kitchen and the chefs I probably wouldn't eat there x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Qwhen you meet people of here you should expect some things to be hidden....
X
this is true
I don't want to know their sir name, where they live, how many kids they have, what their job is etc
I would however want to know if they were getting married on Friday
not everybody meets attached people playing away and we should be told these things so we can make an informed decision on if we want to meet this person or not
And this is it in a nutshell! It's about making an informed choice. NSA is not about removing someone's choice to decide whether they want to be with you its about communicating honestly with someone what your situation is so THEY can decide if you are for them. NSA is about respect and communication. If you don't have that then they are just being manipulative and selfish.I think it depends whose interpretations it ive been told by quite a few women it means they don't have to tell you what they are doing and don't expect you to tell them and to be honest if I went into a restaurant and saw the kitchen and the chefs I probably wouldn't eat there x "
who interprets it ,predictive text |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If he is only a fuck buddy then does it matter that he married? "
you missed the jackanory ,she fucked him senseless for 14 years 3 times a week 5 hours a day his Dick was 3" longer when he started |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If he is only a fuck buddy then does it matter that he married? "
He was her friend as well. Over 14 months he didn't think to mention 'hey love I'm getting married on Fri'
'ooo that's nice dear - what flavour vol-au-vonts?'
He removed her ability to make an informed choice which is directful and cowardly. Friends don't treat each other like that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If he is only a fuck buddy then does it matter that he married?
He was her friend as well. Over 14 months he didn't think to mention 'hey love I'm getting married on Fri'
'ooo that's nice dear - what flavour vol-au-vonts?'
He removed her ability to make an informed choice which is directful and cowardly. Friends don't treat each other like that. "
but maybe he didn't regard her as a friend ,well no maybe about it he didn't because that's a difficult thing to keep from you FB let alone your wife or hubby !!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Q I came here to get away from all the deceiving bullshit on dating sites.
This "
Sorry but there is a lot of that on sites like this and dating sites . Some will do and say what ever to get there end away . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It's no strings attached whether it's a friends with benefits situation or not. Friends don't have to share every detail of their life with each other. He chose to keep it a secret, its his private life and his choice.
My fuck buddy could kill a man and I wouldnt care all that much as it wouldn't affect my life in anyway.
I'd still fuck the guy, whether he got married or not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Whilst your at it dig your vicar suit out
Vicar suit? What kind of kinky pervert do you take me for?!
Ok found it "
hey are you actually a sailor do you have a girl in every portal  |
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"Qwhen you meet people of here you should expect some things to be hidden....
X
this is true
I don't want to know their sir name, where they live, how many kids they have, what their job is etc
I would however want to know if they were getting married on Friday
not everybody meets attached people playing away and we should be told these things so we can make an informed decision on if we want to meet this person or not
And this is it in a nutshell! It's about making an informed choice. NSA is not about removing someone's choice to decide whether they want to be with you its about communicating honestly with someone what your situation is so THEY can decide if you are for them. NSA is about respect and communication. If you don't have that then they are just being manipulative and selfish."
Yup, I am ridiculously open and honest but I find it very tiring to be, or to be with anything else. It starts to make me angry. |
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"NSA is not about removing someone's choice to decide whether they want to be with you its about communicating honestly with someone what your situation is so THEY can decide if you are for them. NSA is about respect and communication. If you don't have that then they are just being manipulative and selfish.
I have something to tell you .... "
You mean you're not Richard Geere?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It depends entirely on you as to what you do...
If you are so upset at him for his dishonesty, are you happy enough to continue with him as your FB?
Does his wife know?
How did you find out he'd got married?
Did you know he was in a relationship?
How do you feel about fidelity?
To us, it sounds like he's been taking the piss for quite some time. Only you can make the decision as to if you give him a second chance."
This
Although personally I couldn't have an FB for over a year without it becoming a lot more than that and falling in love - because I'm soft!! X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's no strings attached whether it's a friends with benefits situation or not. Friends don't have to share every detail of their life with each other. He chose to keep it a secret, its his private life and his choice.
My fuck buddy could kill a man and I wouldnt care all that much as it wouldn't affect my life in anyway.
I'd still fuck the guy, whether he got married or not. "
Finally , a reasoned response !
It really makes no difference that he got married .
A fb is just that , someone you enjoy fucking . Not someone you want to spend the rest of your life with .
If you are happy to meet up 3 times a week to fuck , then why stop ? Same person , same cock , same fun .
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"For me even if its Fb of nsa there has to be respect and trust, deceit shows there is neither so that would be it done.
I wouldn't cause a scene or confront them though, I'd just walk away, block their number and never look back...they weren't the person you thought they were
This for me to. Recently my fb/fwb was dishonest with me about something. I have cut all ties now and moving forward. Trust is a massive issue with me wether it be in fab world or real world, relationship or friendship. I have no space in my life for people in my life who are liars, dishonest and not trust worthy
This has answered a question for me. I had a fb who became more of a friend who, recently, has treated me like a fool and disrespectfully. I like this guy, I thought he was a friend, but it appears he doesn't see me the same way. He needs to be sent to Room 101 I think "
Exactly mine treated me like a fool nig time. He won't ever get another chance to do it again. Iv even gone as far as locked down all my social media so he can't contact me, emails changed and this weekend I'm upgrading my phone so time for a new number. The only way he will ever gain contact will be if he knock on my door and trust me he will not get a welcoming reception if he does that |
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"Qwhen you meet people of here you should expect some things to be hidden....
X
No, I came here to get away from all the deceiving bullshit on dating sites. Man up - be honest and let the dice fall as they may, that is the only way this shit can work without damaging people.
Agree with what you are saying and whilst that's the ideal position you probably know it will never happen..
there will always be those of both genders who play people for what they want..
bit sad but inevitable .."
It seems to be totally inevitable. But you know I just realised something reading this thread - the ONLY way you can have nsa is if there is total honesty. If there is deception and manipulation, by their very definition there are strings, that's what manipulation IS, they are attaching strings in order to play the puppeteer !!!!
The only way there is nsa freedom is with total freedom of choice, and that means honesty.
|
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"Qwhen you meet people of here you should expect some things to be hidden....
X
No, I came here to get away from all the deceiving bullshit on dating sites. Man up - be honest and let the dice fall as they may, that is the only way this shit can work without damaging people.
Agree with what you are saying and whilst that's the ideal position you probably know it will never happen..
there will always be those of both genders who play people for what they want..
bit sad but inevitable ..
It seems to be totally inevitable. But you know I just realised something reading this thread - the ONLY way you can have nsa is if there is total honesty. If there is deception and manipulation, by their very definition there are strings, that's what manipulation IS, they are attaching strings in order to play the puppeteer !!!!
The only way there is nsa freedom is with total freedom of choice, and that means honesty.
"
would agree and within that definition and those constraints for some there would be less participants..
maybe NSA be redefined with different elements attached, like NSA 'light' meaning no perfume smell, no knowing the other phone number, certain meeting time's only to full on nearly a relationship NSA plus? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
NSA means no rights no conditions god you people want it all ways it's not NSA if you apply rules to it ,so a woman that's Fucking people on here that's married and doing it without her husband's knowledge has to be honest with het fuck buddies ?I'm sorry but if half of you people knew what the other person was doing you wouldn't meet them ,theirs no truer saying than ignorance is bliss ,the op who started this thread probably doesn't give a toss anyway she's disappointed she didn't get an invite is all |
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As a very inexperienced swinger (some may say virtual cyber only) I think NSA while being without commitment doesn't exclude respectful communication. Move on by taking a break or trying something new. Nothing wrong with posting as we all have different ways of being swingers
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"NSA means no rights no conditions god you people want it all ways it's not NSA if you apply rules to it ,so a woman that's Fucking people on here that's married and doing it without her husband's knowledge has to be honest with het fuck buddies ?I'm sorry but if half of you people knew what the other person was doing you wouldn't meet them ,theirs no truer saying than ignorance is bliss ,the op who started this thread probably doesn't give a toss anyway she's disappointed she didn't get an invite is all "
Some people actually do believe in open and honest communication. Those are the ones I'd give the time of day to and want in my life. Those that think that NSA or FB sex means you disregard the other person's rights are free to go and meet others with the same mind set. There are plenty on here with that point of _iew. Best they all stick together. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"NSA means no rights no conditions god you people want it all ways it's not NSA if you apply rules to it ,so a woman that's Fucking people on here that's married and doing it without her husband's knowledge has to be honest with het fuck buddies ?I'm sorry but if half of you people knew what the other person was doing you wouldn't meet them ,theirs no truer saying than ignorance is bliss ,the op who started this thread probably doesn't give a toss anyway she's disappointed she didn't get an invite is all
Some people actually do believe in open and honest communication. Those are the ones I'd give the time of day to and want in my life. Those that think that NSA or FB sex means you disregard the other person's rights are free to go and meet others with the same mind set. There are plenty on here with that point of _iew. Best they all stick together. "
so you are saying be honest with your partner at all times ? |
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"NSA means no rights no conditions god you people want it all ways it's not NSA if you apply rules to it ,so a woman that's Fucking people on here that's married and doing it without her husband's knowledge has to be honest with het fuck buddies ?I'm sorry but if half of you people knew what the other person was doing you wouldn't meet them ,theirs no truer saying than ignorance is bliss ,the op who started this thread probably doesn't give a toss anyway she's disappointed she didn't get an invite is all
Some people actually do believe in open and honest communication. Those are the ones I'd give the time of day to and want in my life. Those that think that NSA or FB sex means you disregard the other person's rights are free to go and meet others with the same mind set. There are plenty on here with that point of _iew. Best they all stick together. so you are saying be honest with your partner at all times ?"
Be honest with everyone at all times in my book. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We don't know the circumstances of your arrangements and any additional friendship. Was it just sex without any personal friendship, with limited chat/knowledge of real life away from the bedroom?
Was it a subject matter that neither of you had brought up before, in which case, would he have felt more comfortable telling you before or after you fucked?
I agree it seems odd to me, but then I wasn't there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"NSA means no rights no conditions god you people want it all ways it's not NSA if you apply rules to it ,so a woman that's Fucking people on here that's married and doing it without her husband's knowledge has to be honest with het fuck buddies ?I'm sorry but if half of you people knew what the other person was doing you wouldn't meet them ,theirs no truer saying than ignorance is bliss ,the op who started this thread probably doesn't give a toss anyway she's disappointed she didn't get an invite is all
Some people actually do believe in open and honest communication. Those are the ones I'd give the time of day to and want in my life. Those that think that NSA or FB sex means you disregard the other person's rights are free to go and meet others with the same mind set. There are plenty on here with that point of _iew. Best they all stick together. so you are saying be honest with your partner at all times ?"
Yes why not. Then you can both make a decision based on what you know. It's about communication and honesty |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"NSA means no rights no conditions god you people want it all ways it's not NSA if you apply rules to it ,so a woman that's Fucking people on here that's married and doing it without her husband's knowledge has to be honest with het fuck buddies ?I'm sorry but if half of you people knew what the other person was doing you wouldn't meet them ,theirs no truer saying than ignorance is bliss ,the op who started this thread probably doesn't give a toss anyway she's disappointed she didn't get an invite is all "
I understand what your saying totally!
If I was to have a NSA FB I personally wouldn't want to know too much about him and I certainly wouldn't want to know what else he was up to. |
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"NSA means no rights no conditions god you people want it all ways it's not NSA if you apply rules to it ,so a woman that's Fucking people on here that's married and doing it without her husband's knowledge has to be honest with het fuck buddies ?I'm sorry but if half of you people knew what the other person was doing you wouldn't meet them ,theirs no truer saying than ignorance is bliss ,the op who started this thread probably doesn't give a toss anyway she's disappointed she didn't get an invite is all
I understand what your saying totally!
If I was to have a NSA FB I personally wouldn't want to know too much about him and I certainly wouldn't want to know what else he was up to. "
Yeah, see I feel the opposite - I had two great local fb's on here and we were completely open and honest about everything. There was no emotional attachment, but we would even discuss our respective love lives cuddling up during a break in the rumpy pumpy! One has become a really good friend since we stopped meeting 'cos he fell in love with a girl at work, but I wish I could find another like him! |
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Well he wont be using condoms with her... i assume he isnt using them with you...and god knows who else he says and he wont be with them either..
Dunno about you but I value my health too much to have a deceitful and dishonest guy gamble it for me! |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"This is always the danger of starting to meet someone on a regular basis. I had promised to myself that I would never do that but that is exactly what I have ended up doing
However, I keep contact with them in-between visits to the barest minimum. I do not want to get into the habit of knowing what they are doing or them knowing what I am. This is a bit difficult as they are on FabS too
I am certain that one day when we stop seeing each other I will experience a sense of loss. But I have thought about that feeling and am prepared to just accept it and move on
So, my advice will be to accept that he is gone and next time, shield yourself against the inevitable emotional upset"
what a brilliant post my hats off to you as you clearly understand the game warts and all i just wish there was more like you out there |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
Has the OP ever come back ? in the space of 8 hours, she has moved on and become owned by another swinger.
which is entirely her choice and I hope she is happy but for the life of me, I can't fathom any logical thought process |
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"Has the OP ever come back ? in the space of 8 hours, she has moved on and become owned by another swinger.
which is entirely her choice and I hope she is happy but for the life of me, I can't fathom any logical thought process "
it definetly wasn't on her profile earlier
Ours is not to reason why |
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
To the OP:
Next time, if you are going to go for the next time, spread the risk
Do not just have one friend but atleast 2. I have 4 and if one, two or even three decide not to see me ever again, the loss will be as great but there will be no immediacy to replace |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
For me, he's been dishonest with you and doesn't deserve your time, so I'd get rid. But understand this can be easier said than done. Be strong and stick with your decision. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have been FB/friends with a guy for over 14 months now, seeing 2 /3 times a week.. Visiting him home..and fucking the life out of him.. So how did I miss the fact he got married in April..
What should I do... ??? "
Or wake up and park this in the stories forum? No way could you spend so much time together and not know he's attached? Unless you're on a completely different planet! |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
" No way could you spend so much time together and not know he's attached? Unless you're on a completely different planet! "
I thought that but I have considered over the last few days that if you are of a devious mindset, it's rich pickings here. Some will believe anything as long as it's said lovingly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Qwhen you meet people of here you should expect some things to be hidden....
X
this is true
I don't want to know their sir name, where they live, how many kids they have, what their job is etc
I would however want to know if they were getting married on Friday
not everybody meets attached people playing away and we should be told these things so we can make an informed decision on if we want to meet this person or not
And this is it in a nutshell! It's about making an informed choice. NSA is not about removing someone's choice to decide whether they want to be with you its about communicating honestly with someone what your situation is so THEY can decide if you are for them. NSA is about respect and communication. If you don't have that then they are just being manipulative and selfish. sorry maybe I missed something ,I thought NSA meant not sexually active but it means no strings attached god I'm a dumbbell still maybe that's how they both interpretted it ,that they didn't have to communicate everyday life to eachother and that every holes a goal bit harsh this NSA sometimes isn't it ? "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think the sad thing for the OP is possibly she thought they were good friends? With that amount of regular meeting, the guy would share info about his vanilla life as friends do?
I think even if I wasn't romantically involved with a fuck buddy, and I found out later he had gotten married and given no hint I'd be a bit hurt. Mainly cos he couldn't share that happy news with me....assuming they had a close friendship!!?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have to pose the question are any of us really capable of having a totally NSA FB relationship
I do believe some of us are "
I do too. It's not for everyone but for some? sure. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think the sad thing for the OP is possibly she thought they were good friends? With that amount of regular meeting, the guy would share info about his vanilla life as friends do?
I think even if I wasn't romantically involved with a fuck buddy, and I found out later he had gotten married and given no hint I'd be a bit hurt. Muainly cos he couldn't share that happy news with me....assuming they had a close friendship!!??"
but is it possible to have NSA and friendship in this case it obviously wasn't ,did they meet after wedding that she wasn't invited to ,was his wife on fab would she have liked her now hubbies FB at the wedding as a maid of honour ,is it all a crock of shit ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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And this is my issue with FB's. There is always one side that will get hurt. Feelings will never be equal. I think it's safe to say that the guy has no respect for his wife let alone his friend/fb.
My advice. Leave the fb search on hold. Go have fun and forget about him. Just think your lucky you are not the wife!!
Mrs x |
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