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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
I had a bit of a nightmare last night with a work event. I could have easily torn a strip off a colleague. I drafted a big ranty email to get it off my chest and felt better for it. I won't be sending it anywhere, it'll stay in my draft box but I figured it was better out than in.
So I'm on my way to work and my rage has disappeared. She made herself look like a total chump all by herself but she totally fucked the running of the event I organised which for a control freak like me went down like a lead balloon.
So now I'm on my way to work and I'm just going to wing it and see if she has the balls to come and apologise. 
Do you feel better after you've had a proper sleep after an upset?
How would you deal with her if she makes an appearance? |
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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
"Like a pot of tea, it's awful if allowed to stew 
Put it behind you, learn from it and don't let the bugger do it again "
Yup... that's kinda what I'm thinking but would you say how you feel/what you think and get it out there or get over yourself and forget it? |
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I so feel better after I've slept on things I also get stuff off my chest in writing too, very cathartic.
It can be useful before you speak to somebody to examine your own part in any situation to see if you could have contributed in any way to what went wrong or could have headed it off at the pass. It then makes it easier to say "I realise that I was wrong to/ should have realised that xyz but your actions caused blah, blah, blah how can we avoid a recurrence......you effing bitch/bastard" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Like a pot of tea, it's awful if allowed to stew
Put it behind you, learn from it and don't let the bugger do it again
Yup... that's kinda what I'm thinking but would you say how you feel/what you think and get it out there or get over yourself and forget it?"
Do you ever have post event reviews / wash-up sessions?
Time to get it out and see what went right and wrong and what can be done better ?
It's a perfect opportunity to sort things out, but try not too play the blame game
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If getting it out there in a constructive way would help prevent it happening again...or if it's something that would actually be good for her own progress/prospects to hear and act upon then I'd have a quiet word. If you're never going to work with her again and everyone already thinks she's a chump, I'm not sure I'd bother.
I always do the ranty email in draft box thing, just have to be careful not to put an email address in, just in case I accidentally send it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When dealing with work colleagues its important to leave emotions out of it.
I'd have a documented discussion with them highlighting the potential issues they could have caused, any breaches in your codes of conduct and advise that further transgressions could lead to disciplinary action.....just ensure ball gags and leather don't come into the disciplinary actions discussed.... |
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"
Do you feel better after you've had a proper sleep after an upset?"
I always find sleeping on a problem helps. If there isn't time for that, a cup of tea. Whenever there was a problem, my last foreman used to start by saying "Right, I've already put the kettle on, but..."
"How would you deal with her if she makes an appearance? "
I'd give her the chance to bring it up first, but let her know how I felt, in a semi-joking way, but one where she knew I was being serious.
Good luck!
Mr ddc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do the same OP, I write it down then it's all off my chest, even if it doesn't reach that person, see I'm an odd women (having a few shall we say 'mental issues') I have whole scenarios in my head, I've had arguments with my ex in my head and wouldn't talk to him for days!! Talking helps!! (Just for the record since I've been taking medication for it I'm fine!!)  |
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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
"I so feel better after I've slept on things I also get stuff off my chest in writing too, very cathartic.
It can be useful before you speak to somebody to examine your own part in any situation to see if you could have contributed in any way to what went wrong or could have headed it off at the pass. It then makes it easier to say "I realise that I was wrong to/ should have realised that xyz but your actions caused blah, blah, blah how can we avoid a recurrence......you effing bitch/bastard" "
Yeah that's exactly it. I was raging last night but I've woken up this morning and I'm a bit like 'meh'. I do think she needs to apologise for the way she spoke to me and I think we do need to have a chat about it. There's a reason I do what I do, I'm good at it and there's a reason they made me take over the events side of things... mostly because a lot of them are very clever but socially inept... as demonstrated last night. 
However, she's in my team and it's the first time we've had a problem. I'd like to make it right but I'm not sure she's going to think she did anything wrong. It's bothered me because I've always got their backs and I don't deserve to be spoken to like I'm an eejit.
Hopefully she'll make the effort. |
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"I so feel better after I've slept on things I also get stuff off my chest in writing too, very cathartic.
It can be useful before you speak to somebody to examine your own part in any situation to see if you could have contributed in any way to what went wrong or could have headed it off at the pass. It then makes it easier to say "I realise that I was wrong to/ should have realised that xyz but your actions caused blah, blah, blah how can we avoid a recurrence......you effing bitch/bastard"
Yeah that's exactly it. I was raging last night but I've woken up this morning and I'm a bit like 'meh'. I do think she needs to apologise for the way she spoke to me and I think we do need to have a chat about it. There's a reason I do what I do, I'm good at it and there's a reason they made me take over the events side of things... mostly because a lot of them are very clever but socially inept... as demonstrated last night.
However, she's in my team and it's the first time we've had a problem. I'd like to make it right but I'm not sure she's going to think she did anything wrong. It's bothered me because I've always got their backs and I don't deserve to be spoken to like I'm an eejit.
Hopefully she'll make the effort. "
Ok, maybe miss off the pitch bit then . Good luck.
I worked for many years with someone senior to me who had the social skills of a rattle snake, it was left to me to do the forward facing stuff to save huge problems. |
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"I so feel better after I've slept on things I also get stuff off my chest in writing too, very cathartic.
It can be useful before you speak to somebody to examine your own part in any situation to see if you could have contributed in any way to what went wrong or could have headed it off at the pass. It then makes it easier to say "I realise that I was wrong to/ should have realised that xyz but your actions caused blah, blah, blah how can we avoid a recurrence......you effing bitch/bastard"
Yeah that's exactly it. I was raging last night but I've woken up this morning and I'm a bit like 'meh'. I do think she needs to apologise for the way she spoke to me and I think we do need to have a chat about it. There's a reason I do what I do, I'm good at it and there's a reason they made me take over the events side of things... mostly because a lot of them are very clever but socially inept... as demonstrated last night.
However, she's in my team and it's the first time we've had a problem. I'd like to make it right but I'm not sure she's going to think she did anything wrong. It's bothered me because I've always got their backs and I don't deserve to be spoken to like I'm an eejit.
Hopefully she'll make the effort.
Ok, maybe miss off the pitch bit then . Good luck.
I worked for many years with someone senior to me who had the social skills of a rattle snake, it was left to me to do the forward facing stuff to save huge problems."
*bitch |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"...
I always do the ranty email in draft box thing, just have to be careful not to put an email address in, just in case I accidentally send it "
I do a ranty mail or text but put my own number or address on the 'to' bit.
Then I stew. 
Have a rant in my head. They apologise in my head. All good. 
Hope she apologises OP. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I so feel better after I've slept on things I also get stuff off my chest in writing too, very cathartic.
It can be useful before you speak to somebody to examine your own part in any situation to see if you could have contributed in any way to what went wrong or could have headed it off at the pass. It then makes it easier to say "I realise that I was wrong to/ should have realised that xyz but your actions caused blah, blah, blah how can we avoid a recurrence......you effing bitch/bastard"
Yeah that's exactly it. I was raging last night but I've woken up this morning and I'm a bit like 'meh'. I do think she needs to apologise for the way she spoke to me and I think we do need to have a chat about it. There's a reason I do what I do, I'm good at it and there's a reason they made me take over the events side of things... mostly because a lot of them are very clever but socially inept... as demonstrated last night.
However, she's in my team and it's the first time we've had a problem. I'd like to make it right but I'm not sure she's going to think she did anything wrong. It's bothered me because I've always got their backs and I don't deserve to be spoken to like I'm an eejit.
Hopefully she'll make the effort. "
If that's the case I'd wait and see if she approaches you and recognises the issue. If not prepare how to help her to become conscious of how her actions have been perceived and their effect on you/others. Be prepared that she may not take the feedback well and think through how you will deal with it if she doesn't. We only really learn when we reflect on when things haven't gone well and work out what needs to change and take action. Leaving the situation unconfronted misses that opportunity. I'd also be prepared to hear feedback from her that would change my view of the situation in case I'm blind to something myself. |
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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
I'm trying to be grown up.
I'm really trying.
No attempt to apologise for her behaviour.
She's telling everyone it worked better for her interference.
I'm going to keep my trap shut and go home and drink wine! |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
"I'm trying to be grown up.
I'm really trying.
No attempt to apologise for her behaviour.
She's telling everyone it worked better for her interference.
I'm going to keep my trap shut and go home and drink wine! "
I lost it today I fuckwit came over at 16.15 can we have updated figures in the next 10 mins |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm trying to be grown up.
I'm really trying.
No attempt to apologise for her behaviour.
She's telling everyone it worked better for her interference.
I'm going to keep my trap shut and go home and drink wine! "
Grrrrrr enjoy the wine!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm trying to be grown up.
I'm really trying.
No attempt to apologise for her behaviour.
She's telling everyone it worked better for her interference.
I'm going to keep my trap shut and go home and drink wine! "
Tell her she can organise it next year. |
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