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It's all gone horribly wrong
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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When the Mrs and myself first joined under a couples profile, she was getting all the attention with the messages and meets and no one really wanted to meet me (pauses for big aaawwww) anyway, we decided that having single profiles was probably better as a lot of couples didn't want to meet a guy from a couples profile (no I couldn't figure it out either), now though, she has gone off and started meeting a lot more men, having socials with some of the same guys, pretty much, leaving me behind.
Now we know single guys have a bad rep and we've saturated the site, but should I put my foot down and stop her meeting (yeah like that would work) or just leave her to it and hope that my luck improves and getting meets too, third option is to just leave the site all together and not stress myself over it all.
Thoughts greatly appreciated. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Women will always have more attention by default here, swinging can be tough in general for couples, is that why some men in the couples prefer to watch the wife having fun? |
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"When the Mrs and myself first joined under a couples profile, she was getting all the attention with the messages and meets and no one really wanted to meet me (pauses for big aaawwww) anyway, we decided that having single profiles was probably better as a lot of couples didn't want to meet a guy from a couples profile (no I couldn't figure it out either), now though, she has gone off and started meeting a lot more men, having socials with some of the same guys, pretty much, leaving me behind.
Now we know single guys have a bad rep and we've saturated the site, but should I put my foot down and stop her meeting (yeah like that would work) or just leave her to it and hope that my luck improves and getting meets too, third option is to just leave the site all together and not stress myself over it all.
Thoughts greatly appreciated."
I think the pair of you should do what is best for your relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We always play as a couple without exception, but it sounds as though the wife is getting all the action and its a touch of the green eyed monster,would you feel the same if the shoe was on the other foot? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I suspect you are feeling left out and ignored. It is very very hard on here for men, married or single, and easy for single women. I think you both should stop and take time to talk to your wife about how you are feeling before this starts to destroy your relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I really suggest that you have a good talk with your wife.
Explain that the singles side is not working for you and you would like to be involved in meets with her.
As someone else has already mentioned how is the marriage generally are you having problems etc....
Why did you both get into swinging in the first place you just have discussed this before you set up your joint profile.
According to your singles profile you have been in the life style over ten years....
You must know by now what you are both in this for |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't hope your luck changes, hoping does nothing.
Like everyone says do what's best for your relationship.
I don't think you can demand she stops seeing anyone, but you can tell her it's not working for you. And be honest, if it's just that you don't get meets and she does, rather than you miss her, then that will affect what she decides to do probably.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Won't she this thread?
It should be something done together or if acting single by arrangement with each other,
If your not playing 100% it can work against you,
But this is speculation unaware of your circumstances |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why don't you write and ask if she'd like to meet you. I'd suggest a social first cos she seems to like them........."
Maybe drink a piña colada and getting caught in the rain... Sorry!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP I thought the whole point of being a 'swinging couple' is that you have an 'open' & honest relationship, well that's gathered from threads on here.
You need to tell her how you feel & see if you can agree on some common ground for her to meet others.
If you can't then maybe it's time for a rethink. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is what you're concerned about that she's meeting so much, the same guys again etc. or is it purely that it's imbalanced because you're not getting the opportunity to meet as much? If you were meeting as many people as she is, would you still be bothered? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's the interesting dynamic of this site isn't it? On the whole it's the women that are in demand, the men that provide the supply, and that seems to apply to the couples too.
Really it's the female half of the couple that most are interested in, from the outside looking in it almost seems like the male half of the couple is an inconvenience that people will suffer to meet the lady. Not true in all cases, of course, and many couples do have fantastic meets on here but the site is primarily all about the ladies!
I hope your joy improves OP, if it isn't working out for you as a couple (on here) and you're uncomfortable with the imbalance of meets and the amount of attention that your other half is getting then I guess it's a conversation you need to have with her to prevent it becoming destructive. Good luck! |
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Surely you should be talking to her about how you feel! Did you not set down boundaries when you both decided to meet ppl on your own ? Communication is key!
Tell her how you're feeling,discuss what you both want and what you BOTH would be happy with .As a couple it takes two to say yes but only one to say no to anything .If she's any decent person then you are her priority ...not who she meets on here . If that's not the case then I'm afraid your relationship has far greater issues . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Swinging is supposed to be fun and add to a relationship. I may be totally misreading your opening post but I get the impression that that;s not the case |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When the Mrs and myself first joined under a couples profile, she was getting all the attention with the messages and meets and no one really wanted to meet me (pauses for big aaawwww) anyway, we decided that having single profiles was probably better as a lot of couples didn't want to meet a guy from a couples profile (no I couldn't figure it out either), now though, she has gone off and started meeting a lot more men, having socials with some of the same guys, pretty much, leaving me behind.
Now we know single guys have a bad rep and we've saturated the site, but should I put my foot down and stop her meeting (yeah like that would work) or just leave her to it and hope that my luck improves and getting meets too, third option is to just leave the site all together and not stress myself over it all.
Thoughts greatly appreciated."
I would tell her how you feel and that you want both of you to stop meeting for a while. If she doesn't agree to that, you have your answer. Shes having way too much fun on her own. Time to talk and let her know youre not happy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP what does your wife say about it? Have you told her how you feel?
Was going to this evening but has gone out straight after work  "
Well, I would dare to suggest that talking with her might be more fruitful and respectful than making your personal issues public. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My view is simple. You are a couple so you do things together. MFM occasionally by all means if she loves the extra attention. But you should be in it together or there could be a very rocky road ahead. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is what you're concerned about that she's meeting so much, the same guys again etc. or is it purely that it's imbalanced because you're not getting the opportunity to meet as much? If you were meeting as many people as she is, would you still be bothered? "
I was wondering the same.
I meet way more often than my wife, although she has taken a step away from swinging of late. Glad to say we will be off to chameleons before Christmas though. Looking forward to ensuring she has a fabulous time  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP what does your wife say about it? Have you told her how you feel?
Was going to this evening but has gone out straight after work "
Did you tell her you wanted to talk? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think your best telling her that your not happy with things as she's getting loads of meets and your not. maybe come off this for a bit then come back as a couples profile and meet only other couples where you both can have fun. it might work out better for you both this way |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This makes me really sad it's not what a swinging relationship is all about. You need to be honest and open with each other. We had a little blip where we found swinging was taking over so we stepped away for a while.
You both need to stop and talk things through or your marriage will be in danger of ending. No sex is worth sacrificing a good relationship for |
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