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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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When going for a meet, I manage not to have my head filled with ideals or expectations of what I want sexually.
I feel it is impossible to live out a sexual ideal to perfection, because it is made up in the mind of one person, and there are to many factors, eg; the mind of the other person, external influences on the day etc.
Surely if you go to a meet with things mapped out in your mind, it can only lead to disappointment. It seems better to meet them with a sense of mystery and responding to the way things unfold with that person.
How do others feel? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree and disagree 
A lot of my meets are planned out and have worked well.
Some haven't gone to plan and still worked out well.
Some haven't gone to plan and been a disaster |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I agree and disagree
A lot of my meets are planned out and have worked well.
Some haven't gone to plan and still worked out well.
Some haven't gone to plan and been a disaster "
Good point. I agree with this instead!
We used to have plans as far as ideas of what we wanted to do. We discussed with the people we met, and asked if there was anything they wanted too. So that we could kind of work together and tick each other's boxes.
We actually did pretty good with that.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I agree and disagree
A lot of my meets are planned out and have worked well.
Some haven't gone to plan and still worked out well.
Some haven't gone to plan and been a disaster
Good point. I agree with this instead!
We used to have plans as far as ideas of what we wanted to do. We discussed with the people we met, and asked if there was anything they wanted too. So that we could kind of work together and tick each other's boxes.
We actually did pretty good with that. "
  |
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"When going for a meet, I manage not to have my head filled with ideals or expectations of what I want sexually.
I feel it is impossible to live out a sexual ideal to perfection, because it is made up in the mind of one person, and there are to many factors, eg; the mind of the other person, external influences on the day etc.
Surely if you go to a meet with things mapped out in your mind, it can only lead to disappointment. It seems better to meet them with a sense of mystery and responding to the way things unfold with that person.
How do others feel?"
It depends what your purpose is for meeting. If you are someone who enjoys the journey for it's own sake - the excitement of meeting new people and finding out what they like etc then fine.
But if, like me, it's about the destination not the journey - then you might want to find out as much as you can beforehand to avoid making any mistakes.
I am looking for a very few people I get on well with, and I do not want to meet people for the sake of it and clock up loads of notches on a bedpost meanwhile. That's why it REALLY annoys me when people lie to get a meet knowing full well they are not what I am looking for.
It's a real dilemma for me.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I agree and disagree
A lot of my meets are planned out and have worked well.
Some haven't gone to plan and still worked out well.
Some haven't gone to plan and been a disaster
Good point. I agree with this instead!
We used to have plans as far as ideas of what we wanted to do. We discussed with the people we met, and asked if there was anything they wanted too. So that we could kind of work together and tick each other's boxes.
We actually did pretty good with that. "
You traitor. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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How much can you really work out before going on a meet, what I'm trying to get at, is, when someone is disappointed, is it because of their expectations, as you have said, people can lie and get you worked up for nothing, but I have read posts about disappointments and the blame put on the other person, and just wondered who was at fault, if anybody. |
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
If it's a first face to face meet then I try not to have expectations. Less disappointing when it doesn't go well but a bonus if it does.
Subsequent meets are usually good but I don't go just to tick boxes about what I want. It's good to have new experiences. |
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"How much can you really work out before going on a meet, what I'm trying to get at, is, when someone is disappointed, is it because of their expectations, as you have said, people can lie and get you worked up for nothing, but I have read posts about disappointments and the blame put on the other person, and just wondered who was at fault, if anybody."
It can be either or both I would say. Sometimes with the best will in the world, even with loads of discussion there is just a slight mismatch, and sometimes you can go with no clue and end up in heaven!
But the latter occasions are rare, and I would try and eliminate the wasted meets if I could. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Can I ask, if anyone has gone on a meet with a particular thing in mind that is on that persons profile, and then been disappointed that they didn't do that thing? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I agree and disagree
A lot of my meets are planned out and have worked well.
Some haven't gone to plan and still worked out well.
Some haven't gone to plan and been a disaster
Good point. I agree with this instead!
We used to have plans as far as ideas of what we wanted to do. We discussed with the people we met, and asked if there was anything they wanted too. So that we could kind of work together and tick each other's boxes.
We actually did pretty good with that.
You traitor. "
Sorry. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No i hate plans i think its far more exciting to go with the moment. But thats just my tastes plenty of people like to plan and i guess role play has to be planned to a point and thats always fun! xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I agree and disagree
A lot of my meets are planned out and have worked well.
Some haven't gone to plan and still worked out well.
Some haven't gone to plan and been a disaster
Good point. I agree with this instead!
We used to have plans as far as ideas of what we wanted to do. We discussed with the people we met, and asked if there was anything they wanted too. So that we could kind of work together and tick each other's boxes.
We actually did pretty good with that.
You traitor.
Sorry. "
Switching sides so easily, remind me not to fight along side you. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No i hate plans i think its far more exciting to go with the moment. But thats just my tastes plenty of people like to plan and i guess role play has to be planned to a point and thats always fun! xx"
Can I smash through your bedroom window in a Vampire costume, bet that wouldn't turn out as expected. 
BTW it's 999  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm a go-with-the-flow kind of person so don't usually make plans as to how a meet should go, but I do talk about likes and dislikes first. I'd call that sensible preparation! However, there is one person who shares very similar fantasies to me so we like to act them out which is pre-planned, but he's the only person I do that with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No i hate plans i think its far more exciting to go with the moment. But thats just my tastes plenty of people like to plan and i guess role play has to be planned to a point and thats always fun! xx
Can I smash through your bedroom window in a Vampire costume, bet that wouldn't turn out as expected.
BTW it's 999 "
I might suprise you  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm a go-with-the-flow kind of person so don't usually make plans as to how a meet should go, but I do talk about likes and dislikes first. I'd call that sensible preparation! However, there is one person who shares very similar fantasies to me so we like to act them out which is pre-planned, but he's the only person I do that with."
I agree with the likes and dislikes bit, hate to think of someone just putting up with something for me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No i hate plans i think its far more exciting to go with the moment. But thats just my tastes plenty of people like to plan and i guess role play has to be planned to a point and thats always fun! xx
Can I smash through your bedroom window in a Vampire costume, bet that wouldn't turn out as expected.
BTW it's 999
I might suprise you "
If you have safety glass, I might surprise you by ending up on the floor below with a broken nose and back. |
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