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Ladies Does this turn you on or bore you?? Be honest
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I want to lay you down, and softly kiss your neck and nibble on your ear.. Taking my hand and running it softly through your hair down on to your chest and firmly grab hold of your tits...
I then want to slowly take off your top and your bra and take your hard nipples in my mouth, softly nibbling on them... Moving down kissing your body as I go, I reach you belly button and slowly undo your trousers... Pulling them down and taking them off, I run my tongue up the inside of your thigh on my way back up, finally reaching your dripping wet pussy. I pull your thongs to the side and run my tongue across your lips tasting your juices...
You take a deep breath lay your head back and close your eyes... I then take one finger and slowly slide it in whilst my tongue plays with your clit, softly moving my now dripping wet finger in and out getting harder and faster... Hearing you groan I take a second finger and slide it in....
As you grab the pillow and tense up I begin to....................
;-) xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bore me. I get this sort of story in messages and I don't read. It is generic and I would expect it to relate to me. "
 makes me wonder where it's been copied and pasted from and also how many others it has been sent to |
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I think if you're expecting one scenario to appeal or not to all women you're not understanding that women are individuals. It's as bad as assuming that all men love to watch two women together.
I didn't find it boring as such and if you were writing it as a piece of erotic fiction it's fine  . I also think it's a great idea to write a short piece like this tailored to an individual. |
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"I think if you're expecting one scenario to appeal or not to all women you're not understanding that women are individuals. It's as bad as assuming that all men love to watch two women together.
I didn't find it boring as such and if you were writing it as a piece of erotic fiction it's fine . I also think it's a great idea to write a short piece like this tailored to an individual."
It was aimed at an individual, I think the big problem is on a site like this is that all men are tarnished with the same brush and when the genuine ones try to speak up they get shot down...
I really appreciate your feedback , as that is what I was looking for.. I enjoy writing erotic passages and I like to see what people think.
Thanks again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yawn
I get sent lots of these and I rarely read them.
Stuff like that is fine if you know the person. You can imagine fully all that they describe. Perhaps you can remember how each word feels
The rest of the time it's not even interesting. Plus we all know that these types of messages (when uninvited) are probably sent to lots of women at the same time. It then just looks desperate instead of creative or imaginative. Which I guess is maybe the actual aim of the sender.
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"I think if you're expecting one scenario to appeal or not to all women you're not understanding that women are individuals. It's as bad as assuming that all men love to watch two women together.
I didn't find it boring as such and if you were writing it as a piece of erotic fiction it's fine . I also think it's a great idea to write a short piece like this tailored to an individual.
It was aimed at an individual, I think the big problem is on a site like this is that all men are tarnished with the same brush and when the genuine ones try to speak up they get shot down...
I really appreciate your feedback , as that is what I was looking for.. I enjoy writing erotic passages and I like to see what people think.
Thanks again "
You're welcome. As long as the individual it's aimed at likes it you're on to a winner .
I like to write erotic fiction too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't want to read erotic,I want to do. My preferred reading is sci-fi fantasy or thrillers. Anyway,you may think that's what will happen but I might have other ideas  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The first time I sent someone a scenario in a message, she liked it so much that she told me I should share it.
So I put it on the story and fantasy threads.
It was called The Message.
Which led me to write others. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Also this type of message instantly shows they've not read my profile so I'd delete instantly on that basis "
Me too, my profile says i don't like dirty chat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Boring.
It screams cut and paste, therefore no thought in replying to my profile (I have had a singles profile btw)
Also it's all about being done to, I would like to be found interesting as a person first (yeah it's not a dating site but a bit of spark / humour / connection is good)
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pretty mediocre standard 'this is what I think women want' material. Epic fail mate."
Agreed. Boring and crude, I find things like this from a complete stranger a total turn off. I prefer a nice introductory message over something like that, sorry. |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
Instead of:
I want to lay you down, and softly kiss your neck and nibble on your ear.. Taking my hand and running it softly through your hair down on to your chest and firmly grab hold of your tits...
You could have gone with:
I want to lay you down, and softly kiss your hobbit and nibble on your packed lunch.. Taking anything I fancied from your mantelpiece and running it softly through your hair before pocketing it and then launching into a chorus of Sing Hosanna, southern Baptist style, as I find this always makes an interesting meet.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Instead of:
I want to lay you down, and softly kiss your neck and nibble on your ear.. Taking my hand and running it softly through your hair down on to your chest and firmly grab hold of your tits...
You could have gone with:
I want to lay you down, and softly kiss your hobbit and nibble on your packed lunch.. Taking anything I fancied from your mantelpiece and running it softly through your hair before pocketing it and then launching into a chorus of Sing Hosanna, southern Baptist style, as I find this always makes an interesting meet.
"
I read all of this one!
-Courtney |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
"I think if you're expecting one scenario to appeal or not to all women you're not understanding that women are individuals. It's as bad as assuming that all men love to watch two women together.
I didn't find it boring as such and if you were writing it as a piece of erotic fiction it's fine . I also think it's a great idea to write a short piece like this tailored to an individual.
It was aimed at an individual, I think the big problem is on a site like this is that all men are tarnished with the same brush and when the genuine ones try to speak up they get shot down...
I really appreciate your feedback , as that is what I was looking for.. I enjoy writing erotic passages and I like to see what people think.
Thanks again "
Did the individual it was aimed at , bored or turned on by it ?
You asked for ladies (honest) opinions the concensus at the moment is bored...
Johnsoda0204's second theory...
The more genuine a person , is inversely proportional to the amount of genuines they use..
 |
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"I think if you're expecting one scenario to appeal or not to all women you're not understanding that women are individuals. It's as bad as assuming that all men love to watch two women together.
I didn't find it boring as such and if you were writing it as a piece of erotic fiction it's fine . I also think it's a great idea to write a short piece like this tailored to an individual.
It was aimed at an individual, I think the big problem is on a site like this is that all men are tarnished with the same brush and when the genuine ones try to speak up they get shot down...
I really appreciate your feedback , as that is what I was looking for.. I enjoy writing erotic passages and I like to see what people think.
Thanks again
Did the individual it was aimed at , bored or turned on by it ?
You asked for ladies (honest) opinions the concensus at the moment is bored...
Johnsoda0204's second theory...
The more genuine a person , is inversely proportional to the amount of genuines they use..
"
Yea in my experience the most reliable people are not the ones that feel the need to advertise the fact that they are "genuine" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I want to lay you down, and softly kiss your neck and nibble on your ear.. Taking my hand and running it softly through your hair down on to your chest and firmly grab hold of your tits...
I then want to slowly take off your top and your bra and take your hard nipples in my mouth, softly nibbling on them... Moving down kissing your body as I go, I reach you belly button and slowly undo your trousers... Pulling them down and taking them off, I run my tongue up the inside of your thigh on my way back up, finally reaching your dripping wet pussy. I pull your thongs to the side and run my tongue across your lips tasting your juices...
You take a deep breath lay your head back and close your eyes... I then take one finger and slowly slide it in whilst my tongue plays with your clit, softly moving my now dripping wet finger in and out getting harder and faster... Hearing you groan I take a second finger and slide it in....
As you grab the pillow and tense up I begin to....................
;-) xx"
If it was me writing it I would change the word "tits" to "breasts" in the first paragraph. Also check the spelling in the second paragraph apparently she has more than 1 thong on. Why is she grabbing the pillow? To put herself out of her misery? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I want to lay you down, and softly kiss your neck and nibble on your ear.. Taking my hand and running it softly through your hair down on to your chest and firmly grab hold of your tits...
I then want to slowly take off your top and your bra and take your hard nipples in my mouth, softly nibbling on them... Moving down kissing your body as I go, I reach you belly button and slowly undo your trousers... Pulling them down and taking them off, I run my tongue up the inside of your thigh on my way back up, finally reaching your dripping wet pussy. I pull your thongs to the side and run my tongue across your lips tasting your juices...
You take a deep breath lay your head back and close your eyes... I then take one finger and slowly slide it in whilst my tongue plays with your clit, softly moving my now dripping wet finger in and out getting harder and faster... Hearing you groan I take a second finger and slide it in....
As you grab the pillow and tense up I begin to....................
;-) xx
If it was me writing it I would change the word "tits" to "breasts" in the first paragraph. Also check the spelling in the second paragraph apparently she has more than 1 thong on. Why is she grabbing the pillow? To put herself out of her misery? "
She's going to start a pillow fight??! |
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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago
Bristol |
Ooh! If people are criticising erotic writing, who fancies casting their eye over this? This is the story of the first FFM meet we had through Fab. A very memorable night for us...http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/stories/364125 |
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I got part way through and felt it was an attempt at something for stories and fantasies and formulaic.
I prefer things to be natural and if I have to fit into a pre-destined scenario that isn't role play, I start to lose my natural inclination to feel alive. It can be suffocating to just be a bit part in someone else's scripted play.
Let go. Allow the adrenaline and hormones seeping through your body, in conjunction with your mind to interplay with your partners physical communication. Listen too, they may tell you something vital that, if you follow, will get them even more charged and eager for satisfying sex.
Don't let a partner feel like a puppet, whilst you follow a Janet and John storyline and script. |
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"I got part way through and felt it was an attempt at something for stories and fantasies and formulaic.
I prefer things to be natural and if I have to fit into a pre-destined scenario that isn't role play, I start to lose my natural inclination to feel alive. It can be suffocating to just be a bit part in someone else's scripted play.
Let go. Allow the adrenaline and hormones seeping through your body, in conjunction with your mind to interplay with your partners physical communication. Listen too, they may tell you something vital that, if you follow, will get them even more charged and eager for satisfying sex.
Don't let a partner feel like a puppet, whilst you follow a Janet and John storyline and script. "
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What you have to remember is the women on here are.... FUCKING FILTHY!!!!!!
For your average woman maybe that sounds quite nice... However you have to remember the site you're on... The women of Fab expect and deserve something an awful lot hotter!!! We're on a sex site for a reason.
Sorry to be harsh.
Rach xxx |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"What you have to remember is the women on here are.... FUCKING FILTHY!!!!!!
For your average woman maybe that sounds quite nice... However you have to remember the site you're on... The women of Fab expect and deserve something an awful lot hotter!!! We're on a sex site for a reason.
Sorry to be harsh.
Rach xxx"
"average" women are on here too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bores me, as does all the other scenario messages like it. It's always inconsistent, never really makes sense and always describes things that make a pussy wet when in reality it wouldn't give the same result, lick her leg then her pussy is dripping wet? Really? Get more aroused from a sneeze. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Read the first sentence and thought ohhhhhhh goooood.......here we go ...yet again...like we need tone told , instead of talking the talk , wish someone would walk the walk !
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"Bores me, as does all the other scenario messages like it. It's always inconsistent, never really makes sense and always describes things that make a pussy wet when in reality it wouldn't give the same result, lick her leg then her pussy is dripping wet? Really? Get more aroused from a sneeze. "
That made me snort that did! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you rate my chances of getting with you?"
"One in a million."
"So you're saying there's a chance!"
Good old Dumb and Dumber. He wasn't listening either.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It really doesn't do it for me but no scenario based messaging or storytelling does.
If the individual it was written for enjoyed it, that's all you need to focus on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's pretty standard and generic. I made the same mistake a long time ago. I was getting on well with a lass. She asked what I wanted to do to her. Went into a similar narrative to what you did. Message deleted and never heard from her again. Lesson learned. |
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"It's pretty standard and generic. I made the same mistake a long time ago. I was getting on well with a lass. She asked what I wanted to do to her. Went into a similar narrative to what you did. Message deleted and never heard from her again. Lesson learned."
Arrogance is a nasty traite to have I'm afraid, as I feel some women on this site don't realise they have it... |
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"I want to lay you down, and softly kiss your neck and nibble on your ear.. Taking my hand and running it softly through your hair down on to your chest and firmly grab hold of your tits...
I then want to slowly take off your top and your bra and take your hard nipples in my mouth, softly nibbling on them... Moving down kissing your body as I go, I reach you belly button and slowly undo your trousers... Pulling them down and taking them off, I run my tongue up the inside of your thigh on my way back up, finally reaching your dripping wet pussy. I pull your thongs to the side and run my tongue across your lips tasting your juices...
You take a deep breath lay your head back and close your eyes... I then take one finger and slowly slide it in whilst my tongue plays with your clit, softly moving my now dripping wet finger in and out getting harder and faster... Hearing you groan I take a second finger and slide it in....
As you grab the pillow and tense up I begin to....................
;-) xx"
bore |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's a nice story OP. Some women would love it.
I'm not keen on stories like that but I wouldn't be rude about it. Maybe save it for a different audience. |
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"It's a nice story OP. Some women would love it.
I'm not keen on stories like that but I wouldn't be rude about it. Maybe save it for a different audience. "
thankyou ... what is it about stories like that you don't like?? |
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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago
North of The Wall - youll need your vest |
"It really doesn't do it for me but no scenario based messaging or storytelling does.
If the individual it was written for enjoyed it, that's all you need to focus on."
I agree with this
It could be Pulitzer quality writing but stuff like this doesnt do anything for me.
It often sounds like the author just needs a tissue by the time he gets to the end of the second paragraph. But as long as he enjoyed himself then all is good with the world |
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"It's pretty standard and generic. I made the same mistake a long time ago. I was getting on well with a lass. She asked what I wanted to do to her. Went into a similar narrative to what you did. Message deleted and never heard from her again. Lesson learned.
Arrogance is a nasty traite to have I'm afraid, as I feel some women on this site don't realise they have it... "
Interesting, part of being arrogant is showing no consideration to the other person, yet in your OP it is all about what you want to do and shows no consideration to what the lady in question may want |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
Not my thing, especially because I know it wasn't written for me. Anyone licking my face would be told in short order to stop.
That's the problem with these types of messages - they're copy & paste, not written for me, generic messages. the guy probably hasn't even read my profile - just sent it out expecting me to be impressed. I've been on sex/swinging sites for 10 years and I don't think I have ever been titillated by this sort of thing. Even cyber is less dull, because at least I can make it more personal to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's a nice story OP. Some women would love it.
I'm not keen on stories like that but I wouldn't be rude about it. Maybe save it for a different audience.
thankyou ... what is it about stories like that you don't like?? "
Pretty much what Wyrdwoman said. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The first time I sent someone a scenario in a message, she liked it so much that she told me I should share it.
So I put it on the story and fantasy threads.
It was called The Message.
Which led me to write others."
I would like to point out it wasn't sent randomly. It was sent because we had been discussing a fantasy of hers. So I sat and wrote it for her.
I couldn't imagine writing it and sending it to random people.
Op, if you wish to write stories, do it in the story and fantasy section of the forums. You may get a different reaction.
I think a lot of the posts on this thread are because you seem to have sent it as a message. |
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I was reading stories in my dads skin mags 38 years ago, they were vaguely interesting then, now they are just creepy.
Now, if I read one that had a funny, sarcastic or ridiculous angle to it, I'd be interested but I read a few words of yours and skipped the rest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I want to lay you down, and softly kiss your neck and nibble on your ear.. Taking my hand and running it softly through your hair down on to your chest and firmly grab hold of your tits...
I then want to slowly take off your top and your bra and take your hard nipples in my mouth, softly nibbling on them... Moving down kissing your body as I go, I reach you belly button and slowly undo your trousers... Pulling them down and taking them off, I run my tongue up the inside of your thigh on my way back up, finally reaching your dripping wet pussy. I pull your thongs to the side and run my tongue across your lips tasting your juices...
You take a deep breath lay your head back and close your eyes... I then take one finger and slowly slide it in whilst my tongue plays with your clit, softly moving my now dripping wet finger in and out getting harder and faster... Hearing you groan I take a second finger and slide it in....
As you grab the pillow and tense up I begin to....................
;-) xx
If it was me writing it I would change the word "tits" to "breasts" in the first paragraph. Also check the spelling in the second paragraph apparently she has more than 1 thong on. Why is she grabbing the pillow? To put herself out of her misery? "
Hahahahahahahahaha |
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I think it's a lovely story. I especially like the image of you grabbing both her tits and squeezing them really hard in towards each other so you can take her nipples (plural) in your mouth. At the same time, I'm assuming |
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