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Put your advert below for what you fancy!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Inspired by the Geeky thread-

Say what kinda gal/fella/couple etc you are looking for currently?

Ie bit like a personal ad but just for fun- keep it light, bright and classy (or filthy if you prefer!)

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By *isscheekychopsWoman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I would like a heavily tattooed guy a bit quirky who like to cook and go and see different places and has a nice bottom

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Im looking for a tall guy, nice but with a naughty streak, who would take control without asking me if its ok to play, no rough stuff, though, well not too much

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I would like a heavily tattooed guy a bit quirky who like to cook and go and see different places and has a nice bottom

I'm not heavily tattooed yet...... but I do love to cook

I'd like a fun cheeky girl, one whose not into message ping pong, who enjoys the social side as well as the very naughty side of life

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I would like a heavily tattooed guy a bit quirky who like to cook and go and see different places and has a nice bottom

Sounds delicious!

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By *isscheekychopsWoman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"I would like a heavily tattooed guy a bit quirky who like to cook and go and see different places and has a nice bottom

Sounds delicious!"

Oh and has to be tall

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A geeky girl with tattoos who doesn't mind coming home to find a dead animal being prepared or car parts in the dishwasher or sink.

Must have a GSOH and share a few of my other quirks.

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By *irtyGirlWoman over a year ago

Edinburgh

Ha! Awesome!

I'd like a bloke who likes to laugh, who's tall and strong and likes pets and camping and talking shite and being a hermit and who's happy to be photographed and doesn't mind a quirky girl with a few wobbly bits.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Inspired by the Geeky thread-

Say what kinda gal/fella/couple etc you are looking for currently?

Ie bit like a personal ad but just for fun- keep it light, bright and classy (or filthy if you prefer!)"
real ,nice ,genuine,funny,attractive,approachable,intelligent and practical does such a woman exist I want her

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By *isscheekychopsWoman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Ha! Awesome!

Haha love it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I would like a heavily tattooed guy a bit quirky who like to cook and go and see different places and has a nice bottom

"
as if by magic Tosh appeared

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I may end up finding my perfect partner at this rate....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I would like a heavily tattooed guy a bit quirky who like to cook and go and see different places and has a nice bottom

Sounds delicious!"
I have a bum and a pinny if that helps , I do a mean beans on toast

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Tall, a twinkle in his eyes, who makes me laugh & melts me with his kisses.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Ha! Awesome!

Well it was your idea to have a thread- save hijacking the Geeky one xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Someone geeky, tall, athletic, tattooed, hair long enough to grab while he's licking me out, intelligent

I don't ask for much

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Cup of tea an a slice of cake..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Someone geeky, tall, athletic, tattooed, hair long enough to grab while he's licking me out, intelligent

I don't ask for much

Love that, just need to let me hair grow.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Inspired by the Geeky thread-

Say what kinda gal/fella/couple etc you are looking for currently?

Ie bit like a personal ad but just for fun- keep it light, bright and classy (or filthy if you prefer!)real ,nice ,genuine,funny,attractive,approachable,intelligent and practical does such a woman exist I want her

Well I AM very practical. Except for drilling. I don't do drilling!

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By *irtyGirlWoman over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Ha! Awesome!

Well it was your idea to have a thread- save hijacking the Geeky one xx

I always feel bad for hijacking someone else's thread but I love it when one gives inspiration for this sort of nonsense.

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By *ivinefoxWoman over a year ago

Coventry

I'd like a highly intelligent, kinky, sensual, dominant guy with a great sense of humour, who loves to play for hours, would go to fetish clubs with me and is a good dancer...and who is really into me!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Inspired by the Geeky thread-

Say what kinda gal/fella/couple etc you are looking for currently?

Well I AM very practical. Except for drilling. I don't do drilling!"

Trying not to crack a crude joke about drilling you!....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Ha! Awesome!

Well it was your idea to have a thread- save hijacking the Geeky one xx

I always feel bad for hijacking someone else's thread but I love it when one gives inspiration for this sort of nonsense.

Glad to have inspired this one.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I like a big guy, being a big girl myself!

Needs stamina & the ability to throw me about a bit.

Tattoos preferred but not essential.

Must have a sense of humour & be able to deal with sarcasm & wit.

Mental stimulation is a major factor too!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I would like a heavily tattooed guy a bit quirky who like to cook and go and see different places and has a nice bottom

Sounds delicious! I have a bum and a pinny if that helps , I do a mean beans on toast

Where do you put the cheese?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Inspired by the Geeky thread-

Say what kinda gal/fella/couple etc you are looking for currently?

Well I AM very practical. Except for drilling. I don't do drilling!

Trying not to crack a crude joke about drilling you!...."

Its ok- this is not a well known dating site- you can get duurty on here

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I would like a heavily tattooed guy a bit quirky who like to cook and go and see different places and has a nice bottom

Sounds delicious! I have a bum and a pinny if that helps , I do a mean beans on toast

Where do you put the cheese?

"
I'm cheesy enough. ( wait that sounds so wrong )

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Inspired by the Geeky thread-

Say what kinda gal/fella/couple etc you are looking for currently?

Well I AM very practical. Except for drilling. I don't do drilling!

Trying not to crack a crude joke about drilling you!....

Its ok- this is not a well known dating site- you can get duurty on here

Cool!

I'd very much like to drill you, maybe insert a Rawl plug too!...

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By *isscheekychopsWoman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Can I add something to my ad.....must have a sense of humour and a dirty mind

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Someone with nice face good teeth, nice curves and big boobs, inteligent and fun to be with and likes to get naughty

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Ha! Awesome!

Well it was your idea to have a thread- save hijacking the Geeky one xx

I always feel bad for hijacking someone else's thread but I love it when one gives inspiration for this sort of nonsense.

Glad to have inspired this one.

You have a whole thread just for you chick, but you are welcome to advertise here too

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Can I add something to my ad.....must have a sense of humour and a dirty mind

Yep hope the fellas are taking notes

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By *at69driveMan over a year ago

Hertford

I would like an intelligent lady who enjoys travel and has an interest in current affairs . Ideally a lady in public and a whore in bed . One who likes playing with balls and draining them dry. One who enjoys regular visits to Cap d Agde. and all the activities there . One who is happy to bend over and taken from behind as she admires all the boats in the harbour

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Inspired by the Geeky thread-

Say what kinda gal/fella/couple etc you are looking for currently?

Well I AM very practical. Except for drilling. I don't do drilling!

Trying not to crack a crude joke about drilling you!....

Its ok- this is not a well known dating site- you can get duurty on here

Cool!

I'd very much like to drill you, maybe insert a Rawl plug too!...

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By *INKYCAT123Couple over a year ago

cardiff

A little of what I fancy right now haha,

A cheeky guy, full of banter so we can bounce off each other, tattoos, sexy eyes and a naughty smile,

Fem shy quite submissive beautiful witha bnaughty glint in her eyes,

Think im asking for to much now but good im horny just thinking about it lol (kat) x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Inspired by the Geeky thread-

Say what kinda gal/fella/couple etc you are looking for currently?

Well I AM very practical. Except for drilling. I don't do drilling!

Trying not to crack a crude joke about drilling you!....

Its ok- this is not a well known dating site- you can get duurty on here

Cool!

I'd very much like to drill you, maybe insert a Rawl plug too!...

Should I mention that I've recently quit smoking...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would like a guy who has a sense of adventure, who is a gentleman in real life but certainly not in the bedroom. He'd happily take me to a museum or keep me at home and spank me....tall, intelligent and self confident with a dominant streak x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Inspired by the Geeky thread-

Say what kinda gal/fella/couple etc you are looking for currently?

Well I AM very practical. Except for drilling. I don't do drilling!

Trying not to crack a crude joke about drilling you!....

Its ok- this is not a well known dating site- you can get duurty on here

Cool!

I'd very much like to drill you, maybe insert a Rawl plug too!...

Should I mention that I've recently quit smoking...

I saw the thread! Tell you what there will be no smoking around me!

Use plenty of lube if the friction builds up and bingo no smoke

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A little of what I fancy right now haha,

A cheeky guy, full of banter so we can bounce off each other, tattoos, sexy eyes and a naughty smile,

Fem shy quite submissive beautiful witha bnaughty glint in her eyes,

Think im asking for to much now but good im horny just thinking about it lol (kat) x"

Think thats me your looking for..I wish

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Im looking for a tall guy, nice but with a naughty streak, who would take control without asking me if its ok to play, no rough stuff, though, well not too much "

and if he has a twin brother, send him my way please

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Inspired by the Geeky thread-

Say what kinda gal/fella/couple etc you are looking for currently?

Well I AM very practical. Except for drilling. I don't do drilling!

Trying not to crack a crude joke about drilling you!....

Its ok- this is not a well known dating site- you can get duurty on here

Cool!

I'd very much like to drill you, maybe insert a Rawl plug too!...

Should I mention that I've recently quit smoking...

I saw the thread! Tell you what there will be no smoking around me!

Use plenty of lube if the friction builds up and bingo no smoke

Duly noted and I'm well stocked up...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Inspired by the Geeky thread-

Say what kinda gal/fella/couple etc you are looking for currently?

Ie bit like a personal ad but just for fun- keep it light, bright and classy (or filthy if you prefer!)"
oh ok the woman I met yesterday she floats my boat xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I would like an intelligent lady who enjoys travel and has an interest in current affairs . Ideally a lady in public and a whore in bed . One who likes playing with balls and draining them dry. One who enjoys regular visits to Cap d Agde. and all the activities there . One who is happy to bend over and taken from behind as she admires all the boats in the harbour "

Ooh I would love to make that final wish come true

Maybe some of the others too...

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By *icky999Man over a year ago

warrington

someone who'll bring me a bacon butty in bed right now. and hurry up about yourselves.

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By *andybeachWoman over a year ago

In the middle

I'd like a fella who has a brilliant sense of humour, naughty twinkle in his eyes, shaved head, firm well built body, generous in his nature, kisses me till I am breathless and spell bound by his passion, knows how to make love to me, ohhh and not afraid to hold my hand in public

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would like a female who has a strong pulse and both legs. She should drive a Lamborghini and be very frivolous with money. She should like eating out and personally settling the bill. She should be deaf so she has a better chance of tolerating the crap I incessantly talk. Both parents should be loaded and preferably deceased or very near to. She should have an incessant desire for anal sex and giving blow jobs though not necessarily in that order. She should hold a Specsavers loyalty card as I'm not the best looking of Fabbers.

I think that's about it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Id love a tall lass who enjoys the outdoors and has absolutely no inhibitions in the bedroom and happy to explore all aspects of debauchery.

Never going to happen!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd like a fella who has a brilliant sense of humour, naughty twinkle in his eyes, shaved head, firm well built body, generous in his nature, kisses me till I am breathless and spell bound by his passion, knows how to make love to me, ohhh and not afraid to hold my hand in public

"
what about a not so firm well built body

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A geeky girl with tattoos who doesn't mind coming home to find a dead animal being prepared or car parts in the dishwasher or sink.

Must have a GSOH and share a few of my other quirks."

You're so far away! I'm a mega geek (trekkie, Tolkien, music) with just 1 tattoo, who was taught at a young age to hunt and prepare animals (have never thought to use this fact to attract men though)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I am a bit daft/quirky (see profile) so I'd like someone similar. Curves are good

I do like kissing/cuddling/ and all that - I believe its called soft swing as I am a softie

Some profiles ive seen just scare me hehe - in a good way though

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My ideal man is a good listener, kind and compassionate. He likes long, slow and steamy sex and lets me know what he likes. He is a gentleman in public and his naughty mind makes our private time exciting. He is just as happy to watch serious documentaries as to indulge my geeky tendency to SciFi movies. At home in the theatre, on the beach or in a swingers club. He wants to leave the world a better place than the one he arrived in.

Oh and he makes a really good cup of tea.

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By *andybeachWoman over a year ago

In the middle

what about a not so firm well built body

I would make you the exception to the rule and maybe throw in a pizza and a pint

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I would like a guy who has a sense of adventure, who is a gentleman in real life but certainly not in the bedroom. He'd happily take me to a museum or keep me at home and spank me....tall, intelligent and self confident with a dominant streak x "

OMG I'm nicking this ad, and will add that I love to banter so he must hold his own

, plus non-smoker

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd like a guy in good shape who is intelligent and kind, and who can make me laugh. Open minded and non-judgemental, and sensual and filthy in the sack. Geeky and quirky are also beneficial qualities to have when dealing with me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd like a guy in good shape who is intelligent and kind, and who can make me laugh. Open minded and non-judgemental, and sensual and filthy in the sack. Geeky and quirky are also beneficial qualities to have when dealing with me

Must be an amazingly sensual kisser!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Looking for a local guy who likes cycling, is a great motor mechanic ( with qualifications as an auto electrician). Has a passion for gardening, is good at carpentry and general home maintenance.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/09/15 11:46:19]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Must be an amazingly sensual kisser!"

Love kissing..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

what about a not so firm well built body

I would make you the exception to the rule and maybe throw in a pizza and a pint

"
there was another P too will throw that in xx

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By *andybeachWoman over a year ago

In the middle

what about a not so firm well built body

I would make you the exception to the rule and maybe throw in a pizza and a pint

there was another P too will throw that in xx

I know I remember that other one

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Inspired by the Geeky thread-

Say what kinda gal/fella/couple etc you are looking for currently?

Ie bit like a personal ad but just for fun- keep it light, bright and classy (or filthy if you prefer!)"
smoked salmon and cream cheese on rye

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By *isscheekychopsWoman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Any takers yet....I have been cleaning I'm a house proud woman me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Someone who likes me and I like them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Half these adverts sounds like I'm the perfect catch!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Someone who likes me and I like them. "

I like yeh..

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By *andybeachWoman over a year ago

In the middle

"Half these adverts sounds like I'm the perfect catch! "

I'm not tall though

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Id love a tall lass who enjoys the outdoors and has absolutely no inhibitions in the bedroom and happy to explore all aspects of debauchery.

Never going to happen!"

Ahem.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Any takers yet....I have been cleaning I'm a house proud woman me

"
I spotted at least three that fit your requirements Cheeky- have a read back

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Been shopping... Come home to an empty inbox..much sad.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Inspired by the Geeky thread-

Say what kinda gal/fella/couple etc you are looking for currently?

Ie bit like a personal ad but just for fun- keep it light, bright and classy (or filthy if you prefer!)smoked salmon and cream cheese on rye

This is not a sploshing thread!

Bacon sarnies, smoked salmon....

Is it true then that a way to a mans' attention is gained by taking care of his appetite first??

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A geeky girl with tattoos who doesn't mind coming home to find a dead animal being prepared or car parts in the dishwasher or sink.

Must have a GSOH and share a few of my other quirks.

You're so far away! I'm a mega geek (trekkie, Tolkien, music) with just 1 tattoo, who was taught at a young age to hunt and prepare animals (have never thought to use this fact to attract men though)"

Forget the distance, just fucking marry me!...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I like a big guy, being a big girl myself!

Needs stamina & the ability to throw me about a bit.

Tattoos preferred but not essential.

Must have a sense of humour & be able to deal with sarcasm & wit.

Mental stimulation is a major factor too!

This

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By *isscheekychopsWoman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Any takers yet....I have been cleaning I'm a house proud woman me

I spotted at least three that fit your requirements Cheeky- have a read back

I will have a look in a bit

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By *D40Couple over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Wanted. Couple to be social with, have fun times & funnier times with.

Essential in the male: gsoh, non smoking male. Straight. Quite fond of men in their 50's+. Naughty twinkle required.

Essential for the ladies: sexy. Remember sexy comes in all forms & radiates from the inside out...

Mrs _d40

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By *igeiaWoman over a year ago

Bristol

"Any takers yet....I have been cleaning I'm a house proud woman me

I may have spotted one or two in your size, as it were (full sleeve on one of them). I shall point them your way!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Inspired by the Geeky thread-

Say what kinda gal/fella/couple etc you are looking for currently?

Ie bit like a personal ad but just for fun- keep it light, bright and classy (or filthy if you prefer!)smoked salmon and cream cheese on rye

This is not a sploshing thread!

Bacon sarnies, smoked salmon....

Is it true then that a way to a mans' attention is gained by taking care of his appetite first??

well yes when he's hungry it is hehe

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Any takers yet....I have been cleaning I'm a house proud woman me

I may have spotted one or two in your size, as it were (full sleeve on one of them). I shall point them your way!"
hey beautiful I love your profile pic I always think red or shades of it look really sexy in sexy revealing pics

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A geeky girl with tattoos who doesn't mind coming home to find a dead animal being prepared or car parts in the dishwasher or sink.

Must have a GSOH and share a few of my other quirks.

You're so far away! I'm a mega geek (trekkie, Tolkien, music) with just 1 tattoo, who was taught at a young age to hunt and prepare animals (have never thought to use this fact to attract men though)

Forget the distance, just fucking marry me!...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Looking for male/female to wash my van and make me some lunch and leave quietly?

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By *harpDressed ManMan over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

"I like a big guy, being a big girl myself!

Needs stamina & the ability to throw me about a bit.

Tattoos preferred but not essential.

Must have a sense of humour & be able to deal with sarcasm & wit.

Mental stimulation is a major factor too!

I saw this quoted and had to scroll up to find it.

May I steal it for use as my profile text?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd like a cute,petite slim/athelic/curvy rock chick, tattoos optional, who likes star wars, has a good sense of humour and kinky as fuck, who likes to be thrown about a bit and enjoys eating burgers, ribs and likes orange cars.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I like a big guy, being a big girl myself!

Needs stamina & the ability to throw me about a bit.

Tattoos preferred but not essential.

Must have a sense of humour & be able to deal with sarcasm & wit.

Mental stimulation is a major factor too!

I saw this quoted and had to scroll up to find it.

May I steal it for use as my profile text?

Of course, I aim to please

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By *ack LondonMan over a year ago

London

Man with no ties seeks girl with no knickers...

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By *uzy444Woman over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

mmmm what do i want.. id like a man to see regularly, must make me laugh, and hold my minxy persona, to go with me to parties and clubs, a penchant for club furniture, naturally knows what he wants and goes about turning my mind to his pleasure,which is of course, my own.

not shy of playing with others as a couple. and wants to walk into his and my kinky unknown, with me.

should be intelligent, witty, intuitive and sensual with passion..the ability to bond without exclusivity and the desire to make me feel desirable. A FB who can become a very close trusted friend/ lover.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Right here goes, my ad !

Wanted fit woman with a cute ass for weekend away. Must be able to dance, salsa jive rock n roll, must like cycling, adult clubs, anal sex, suck like a vax, squirt, a large clit a bonus.

Itinerary for the day would be as follows.

Up at the crack of dawn, if thats her name, Off for a 3 or 4 hours cycling, pub lunch, back to hotel for erotic sex. Evening meal then !!! Out dancing for a few hours at a jive night, or rock n roll dance with a live band. Then off to an adult club for some sexual encounters. back to hotel for night cap, and that is just Saturday, Sunday is much the same, apart from sex on the beech as an extra treat.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

OMG I'm nicking this ad, and will add that I love to banter so he must hold his own

, plus non-smoker

Hehe! You're welcome! I would also add....must love lots of kissing, touching and cuddles and I agree, he must be able to hold his own against me x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A tall, funny guy with nice shoes and jeans and can make the perfect carrot cake

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Aaaaw I didn't read this properly. That wasn't a very good ad, I'll never find the perfect carrot cake maker now

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By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

A rich, pub owning, nymphomaniac who hasn't been to specsavers yet

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Aaaaw I didn't read this properly. That wasn't a very good ad, I'll never find the perfect carrot cake maker now

Just nipping into Waitrose I'll get you one

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By *rladytoyMan over a year ago

bournemouth

A fit brunette with a welsh accent who likes the casino football and motor racing

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By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

a woman

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Aaaaw I didn't read this properly. That wasn't a very good ad, I'll never find the perfect carrot cake maker now

Just nipping into Waitrose I'll get you one "

STOP CHEATING!! You have to make it yourself. What if all shops are shut and I REALLY need one!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Average to tall naughty twinkle in his eyes,can make me turn to jelly just with one look,knows his way round my body,can match me move for move in bed ,gives a great massage ,funny,chatty. ,sexy ,nice arm muscles and a sexy butt .....well that's a start

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By *INKYCAT123Couple over a year ago

cardiff

"A little of what I fancy right now haha,

A cheeky guy, full of banter so we can bounce off each other, tattoos, sexy eyes and a naughty smile,

Fem shy quite submissive beautiful witha bnaughty glint in her eyes,

Think im asking for to much now but good im horny just thinking about it lol (kat) x

Think thats me your looking for..I wish

Send some pics my way babe and we will see

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ok ... Can she be as short as me

MORE intelligent than me.

That's it.

Oh and a nature that lets you talk about all kinds of sex with out feeling like your being teased ( not the good tease the mocking type)

Oh who doesn't find life a burden

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Aaaaw I didn't read this properly. That wasn't a very good ad, I'll never find the perfect carrot cake maker now

Actually thats me- purely for the cake you understand. My carrot cake is the mutts nuts of carrot cake and the cream cheese frosting is, well, the icing on the cake!

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By *uxom redCouple over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Wanted male or female with GSH will to put up with Red 's hair all over the place.

Needs a twinkle in their eyes . Be happy to try out different cakes and be honest with opinions and not take life to seriously .

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By *uzy444Woman over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

"Ok ... Can she be as short as me

MORE intelligent than me.

That's it.

Oh and a nature that lets you talk about all kinds of sex with out feeling like your being teased ( not the good tease the mocking type)

Oh who doesn't find life a burden "

how intelligent are you?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Did someone say cake?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Someone to bring me a dominos..? I will of course repay her kindly!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

I would like a man whose intelligent, funny and shares my sense of humour, confident and happy with himself.

Must be looking for a woman whose a bit girly, a bit silly, less than perfect and cat mad, but is happy and confident in herself

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A big girl with nice wobbly bits xxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Aaaaw I didn't read this properly. That wasn't a very good ad, I'll never find the perfect carrot cake maker now

Actually thats me- purely for the cake you understand. My carrot cake is the mutts nuts of carrot cake and the cream cheese frosting is, well, the icing on the cake!

Ok can I have you? Just for your cake obviously....

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Someone to bring me a dominos..? I will of course repay her kindly!"

Try ordering "delivery" rather than "collection".

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A Brunette that is fun to be around,and absolute filth in the bedroom.

You did ask

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would like a fuck buddy Ideally. Needs to be random and funny. Adventurous in the bedroom and lives not a million miles away from Thornton Heath.

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By *andybeachWoman over a year ago

In the middle

"A Brunette that is fun to be around,and absolute filth in the bedroom.

You did ask

I'm growing the blonde out as we speak

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

"I'd like a cute,petite slim/athelic/curvy rock chick, tattoos optional, who likes star wars, has a good sense of humour and kinky as fuck, who likes to be thrown about a bit and enjoys eating burgers, ribs and likes orange cars.

"
same here .. Only red car lover

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Aaaaw I didn't read this properly. That wasn't a very good ad, I'll never find the perfect carrot cake maker now

Actually thats me- purely for the cake you understand. My carrot cake is the mutts nuts of carrot cake and the cream cheese frosting is, well, the icing on the cake!

Ok can I have you? Just for your cake obviously....

I should mention that my version contains bananas and walnuts too

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A Brunette that is fun to be around,and absolute filth in the bedroom.

You did ask

I'm growing the blonde out as we speak

I can always make exceptions

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

"A Brunette that is fun to be around,and absolute filth in the bedroom.

You did ask

"
or blonde .. Or auburn

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Have a pulse and bring sandwiches.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"A Brunette that is fun to be around,and absolute filth in the bedroom.

You did ask

And you may find them more easily now- she could be pm-ing you as I type!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

Oh and guys that don't expect me to make them a bloody cake

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Have a pulse and bring sandwiches."

Steady- so specific!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Tall, a twinkle in his eyes, who makes me laugh & melts me with his kisses."

Ooh now your talking!

Order me one of those while your at it!! Hehe x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/09/15 16:21:15]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Young, tattooed, killer hair cut, enjoys banter and cuddles and who doesn't mind the larger frame!!

If you have a nice pair of underwear that creeps over your jeans, please apply with in.

If you enjoy a Big Mac and a Krispy Kreme this goes along way too!!

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By *omeotherguyMan over a year ago

Derbyshire

"Tall, a twinkle in his eyes, who makes me laugh & melts me with his kisses.

Ooh now your talking!

Order me one of those while your at it!! Hehe x"

[Knocks at the door]

"Package" for you, Oralminx?

hahaha

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Seeking big boob lover who can handle the woman attached! Banter and fun essential as is intelligence and a naughty twist. Confidence in the bedroom is a must..got to know how to bring out the best in me! It will be worth it!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Oh and guys that don't expect me to make them a bloody cake

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By *irtyGirlWoman over a year ago

Edinburgh

It appears I'm the only bugger North of the border... there's zero chance of me finding a suitable fit in here!

I'm too scared to venture to the bottom of the forum list into the Scottish place.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't think u have wobbly bits

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A genuine fun, easy going unattached man would be a start!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Ok ... Can she be as short as me

MORE intelligent than me.

That's it.

Oh and a nature that lets you talk about all kinds of sex with out feeling like your being teased ( not the good tease the mocking type)

Oh who doesn't find life a burden

how intelligent are you?

....as Pig shit , I like to think I don't ask for much .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's a bit of a cliché but people who want a laugh I have a favourite type that I like. None of the people I've met off here where that type. Had great fun with them and to be honest I'm shedding that type. Its not relevant anymore. Fun is.

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By *km45Man over a year ago

UTTOXETER

Ideally a lady older than me who has good looks and a sexy figure. Don't mind wobbly bits. Someone who is fun to be with

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"It appears I'm the only bugger North of the border... there's zero chance of me finding a suitable fit in here!

I'm too scared to venture to the bottom of the forum list into the Scottish place.

Omg there are so many hottie Scotties!! There must be one or two that fit your requirements

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Looking for a sexy, fit bodied man with a sexy accent and a cute face to do with what I want. He should be unselfish and funny plus great with sexy chat.

(Don't want much hey?)

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By *irtyGirlWoman over a year ago

Edinburgh

"It appears I'm the only bugger North of the border... there's zero chance of me finding a suitable fit in here!

I'm too scared to venture to the bottom of the forum list into the Scottish place.

Omg there are so many hottie Scotties!! There must be one or two that fit your requirements

They talk funny in there. I'm a total snob.

I can't bear all that 'type as we talk' thing. It makes me cringe.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It appears I'm the only bugger North of the border... there's zero chance of me finding a suitable fit in here!

I'm too scared to venture to the bottom of the forum list into the Scottish place.

Best sex in seven odd years was a joc.

.... She turned up 7 months pregnant and black and blue from her Dom

laughed more than my ribs could stand. The waitress thought we were the bollox . Got banned from the pub, I swear.., THE most fun ever!! We don't talk now ,

....

Where is this Scottish forum , bottom of the page you say...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"It appears I'm the only bugger North of the border... there's zero chance of me finding a suitable fit in here!

I'm too scared to venture to the bottom of the forum list into the Scottish place.

Omg there are so many hottie Scotties!! There must be one or two that fit your requirements

They talk funny in there. I'm a total snob.

I can't bear all that 'type as we talk' thing. It makes me cringe.

I don't mean in the chat rooms, I mean generally! I get lots of interest from north of the border!

If all else fails theres always Paddy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It appears I'm the only bugger North of the border... there's zero chance of me finding a suitable fit in here!

I'm too scared to venture to the bottom of the forum list into the Scottish place.

Omg there are so many hottie Scotties!! There must be one or two that fit your requirements

They talk funny in there. I'm a total snob.

I can't bear all that 'type as we talk' thing. It makes me cringe.

I'm headed up to the highlands a couple of times before Christmas, maybe I should pop round for a coffee.

Be aware there will be dead things in my boot though...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"It appears I'm the only bugger North of the border... there's zero chance of me finding a suitable fit in here!

I'm too scared to venture to the bottom of the forum list into the Scottish place.

Omg there are so many hottie Scotties!! There must be one or two that fit your requirements

They talk funny in there. I'm a total snob.

I can't bear all that 'type as we talk' thing. It makes me cringe.

I'm headed up to the highlands a couple of times before Christmas, maybe I should pop round for a coffee.

Be aware there will be dead things in my boot though...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It appears I'm the only bugger North of the border... there's zero chance of me finding a suitable fit in here!

I'm too scared to venture to the bottom of the forum list into the Scottish place.

Omg there are so many hottie Scotties!! There must be one or two that fit your requirements

They talk funny in there. I'm a total snob.

I can't bear all that 'type as we talk' thing. It makes me cringe.

I'm headed up to the highlands a couple of times before Christmas, maybe I should pop round for a coffee.

Be aware there will be dead things in my boot though...

Wild highland venison is the best.

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By *irtyGirlWoman over a year ago

Edinburgh

"It appears I'm the only bugger North of the border... there's zero chance of me finding a suitable fit in here!

I'm too scared to venture to the bottom of the forum list into the Scottish place.

Omg there are so many hottie Scotties!! There must be one or two that fit your requirements

They talk funny in there. I'm a total snob.

I can't bear all that 'type as we talk' thing. It makes me cringe.

I'm headed up to the highlands a couple of times before Christmas, maybe I should pop round for a coffee.

Be aware there will be dead things in my boot though...

This is not a good advert for meeting strangers!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It appears I'm the only bugger North of the border... there's zero chance of me finding a suitable fit in here!

I'm too scared to venture to the bottom of the forum list into the Scottish place.

Omg there are so many hottie Scotties!! There must be one or two that fit your requirements

They talk funny in there. I'm a total snob.

I can't bear all that 'type as we talk' thing. It makes me cringe.

I'm headed up to the highlands a couple of times before Christmas, maybe I should pop round for a coffee.

Be aware there will be dead things in my boot though...

This is not a good advert for meeting strangers!!

Really?!

I better change my POF profile then..

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By *irtyGirlWoman over a year ago

Edinburgh

"It appears I'm the only bugger North of the border... there's zero chance of me finding a suitable fit in here!

I'm too scared to venture to the bottom of the forum list into the Scottish place.

Best sex in seven odd years was a joc.

.... She turned up 7 months pregnant and black and blue from her Dom

laughed more than my ribs could stand. The waitress thought we were the bollox . Got banned from the pub, I swear.., THE most fun ever!! We don't talk now ,

....

Where is this Scottish forum , bottom of the page you say..."

A jock?!

Sassenach!

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By *irtyGirlWoman over a year ago

Edinburgh

"It appears I'm the only bugger North of the border... there's zero chance of me finding a suitable fit in here!

I'm too scared to venture to the bottom of the forum list into the Scottish place.

Omg there are so many hottie Scotties!! There must be one or two that fit your requirements

They talk funny in there. I'm a total snob.

I can't bear all that 'type as we talk' thing. It makes me cringe.

I'm headed up to the highlands a couple of times before Christmas, maybe I should pop round for a coffee.

Be aware there will be dead things in my boot though...

This is not a good advert for meeting strangers!!

Really?!

I better change my POF profile then..

Do you have the tools in the boot that you killed them with? If yes then yes... change that profile! I always ask potential meets if they have an axe! Never has anyone said yes!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It appears I'm the only bugger North of the border... there's zero chance of me finding a suitable fit in here!

I'm too scared to venture to the bottom of the forum list into the Scottish place.

Omg there are so many hottie Scotties!! There must be one or two that fit your requirements

They talk funny in there. I'm a total snob.

I can't bear all that 'type as we talk' thing. It makes me cringe.

I'm headed up to the highlands a couple of times before Christmas, maybe I should pop round for a coffee.

Be aware there will be dead things in my boot though...

This is not a good advert for meeting strangers!!

Really?!

I better change my POF profile then..

Do you have the tools in the boot that you killed them with? If yes then yes... change that profile! I always ask potential meets if they have an axe! Never has anyone said yes!

There would possibly be a .338 calibre rifle in the boot, yes. I'd have to bring it in the house with me though...

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By *irtyGirlWoman over a year ago

Edinburgh

In that case I'd let you keep the gun and I'd hide the bullets.

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I'd like a lady who lives near, can accommodate and is agreeable to lots of suggestions, can laugh and is happy with herself, confident and socially skilled.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Aaaaw I didn't read this properly. That wasn't a very good ad, I'll never find the perfect carrot cake maker now

Actually thats me- purely for the cake you understand. My carrot cake is the mutts nuts of carrot cake and the cream cheese frosting is, well, the icing on the cake!

Ok can I have you? Just for your cake obviously....

I should mention that my version contains bananas and walnuts too

You've just ruined my life.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's a bit of a cliché but people who want a laugh I have a favourite type that I like. None of the people I've met off here where that type. Had great fun with them and to be honest I'm shedding that type. Its not relevant anymore. Fun is."

What is your type that you can't find on here?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What is your type that you can't find on here?"
scarlet your my type xx

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By *andybeachWoman over a year ago

In the middle

"A Brunette that is fun to be around,and absolute filth in the bedroom.

You did ask

I'm growing the blonde out as we speak

I can always make exceptions

I am the exception to most rules

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A Brunette that is fun to be around,and absolute filth in the bedroom.

You did ask

Helloooooo

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just somebody who can put up with me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd be happy with 2nds 3rds n 4ths of what I've just had

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A Brunette that is fun to be around,and absolute filth in the bedroom.

You did ask

I'd you can cope with dark brunette (OK OK it's black) grab your coat you've pulled

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By *elvet RopeMan over a year ago

by the big field

I'd like freida pinto please

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A long haired heavily tattoed guy into allsorts of music. Gives me my space and amazing cuddles when needed.

Can actually do round two and can cook a steak to perfection

Not a long list

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Looking for a sexy, fit bodied man with a sexy accent and a cute face to do with what I want. He should be unselfish and funny plus great with sexy chat.

(Don't want much hey?)"

Cough cough.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Single retarded male seeks fwb female with whom to experiment and have fun when we both have some free time

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Single retarded male seeks fwb female with whom to experiment and have fun when we both have some free time"

Experiment on what?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd really like some trifle that has been shagged in.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would like a big strong guy to lightly stroke my body all over. No sex involved and I want to be completely selfish and just lie there - for hour's.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hot redhead with curves to race cars round and a fit bald bearded tattooed guy...if they could both arrive at same time I'd be happy as hell lol

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By *ighting17thMan over a year ago

Bodmin

I fancy a lady who can teach me a few things and not be afraid to really go nuts with the kink, lol!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hot redhead with curves to race cars round and a fit bald bearded tattooed guy...if they could both arrive at same time I'd be happy as hell lol

Bald..check

Bearded..check

Tattooed..check

Fit...bollocks

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hot redhead with curves to race cars round and a fit bald bearded tattooed guy...if they could both arrive at same time I'd be happy as hell lol

Bald..check

Bearded..check

Tattooed..check

Fit...bollocks

"
deffo fit what you on about

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"A Brunette that is fun to be around,and absolute filth in the bedroom.

You did ask

I'm growing the blonde out as we speak

I can always make exceptions

Can you now....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hot redhead with curves to race cars round and a fit bald bearded tattooed guy...if they could both arrive at same time I'd be happy as hell lol

Bald..check

Bearded..check

Tattooed..check

Fit...bollocks

deffo fit what you on about

Dan's bollocks are well fit.

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By *ipsxxCouple over a year ago

Mmmm men with tattoos

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd like find a sexy female for me to push on the swing so to speak x

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

I'll have a tall, strong, macho kind of guy who can accomm near me, loves to laugh and has plenty of energy

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By *iSTARessWoman over a year ago

London

Gender unimportant, submissive.

Plenty of stamina, willing to take a beating, a spot of pegging and plenty of snogging.

Good with their hands.

Lives near enough to me to be summoned on request.

Single, cute and honest.

Highly unlikely but a girl can dream eh?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hot redhead with curves to race cars round and a fit bald bearded tattooed guy...if they could both arrive at same time I'd be happy as hell lol

Bald..check

Bearded..check

Tattooed..check

Fit...bollocks

deffo fit what you on about

Dan's bollocks are well fit."

yes they are lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I fancy a nice bbw xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm looking for an adventurous woman to accompany me on a Jaguar tracking trip to the Amazon, must be ok to get mucky and sweaty, not scared of snakes or spiders, rough and ready women of similar age only need apply. I promise you all the Brazil Nuts you can eat.

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By *thwalescplCouple over a year ago

brecon

We want a sexy fem who's independent, curvy, bi, and wants to be a "girlfriend" to Jayne, but used as a plaything for both of us. Ideally slightly sub, probably a bit younger than us, who loves sexy lingerie, parties, clubbing and socials.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

AA silly welsh boy seeks a geeky lady who likes pooches . A cheeky smile and twinkling eyes .

Loves kisses , walks and picnics .

Lovely light fun and giggles

Apply within

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd like a highly intelligent, kinky, sensual, dominant guy with a great sense of humour, who loves to play for hours, would go to fetish clubs with me and is a good dancer...and who is really into me! "

You sound like a girl I'd like to know more about!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm still after some shagged in trifle.

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By *ire_bladeMan over a year ago

Manchester

Somebody sain would be nice but I'll not hold my breath

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