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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
I was left seething following a lie of omission and an active deceit this weekend. My reaction was to give them the full force of my feelings.
Something lesser may not result in that reaction.
I would also rather someone tell me that my bum does look big in this.
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Depends on the person and the lie. I have a friend who I have known for 40 of the last 41 years, he tells lies, often small ones I decided too let it go but the more it happens the less I like or understand it. I know a lot of people tell white lies too make themselves seem more interesting but I just don't get it! Normally I would call them out. |
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"Depends on the person and the lie. I have a friend who I have known for 40 of the last 41 years, he tells lies, often small ones I decided too let it go but the more it happens the less I like or understand it. I know a lot of people tell white lies too make themselves seem more interesting but I just don't get it! Normally I would call them out."
 I HAD a friend who is constantly telling lies, even when she has no need to, about the most trivial things. And about the most unforgivable too. I'm left wondering what from our 10 year relationship/friendship was actually genuine. I hate lies, I'm a crap liar! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you knew someone had lied to you, how would you deal with it?
Would it depend on the person?
Or do you react in the same way to anyone who lies to you? "
the person I was chatting to a woman I met on here we've met loads anyways I disagreed with something she did which I felt was disrespectful to me but she felt what she did was fine so we agreed to disagree we didn't talk for a while then we've gradually been chatting again ,she announced a few days ago without me prompting her in anyway she had left fab I never thought too much about it as she had been saying she would leave for ages ,I was checking out couples one day I think Saturday and saw a pic that looked like her checked the gallery of the couples profile and it was her pics ,I questioned her about why she had felt the need to lie and defense turned into attack ,their was no need to lie so she had a couple profile we wernt seeing eachother anymore !!!! Weird  |
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"Depends on the person and the lie. I have a friend who I have known for 40 of the last 41 years, he tells lies, often small ones I decided too let it go but the more it happens the less I like or understand it. I know a lot of people tell white lies too make themselves seem more interesting but I just don't get it! Normally I would call them out.
I HAD a friend who is constantly telling lies, even when she has no need to, about the most trivial things. And about the most unforgivable too. I'm left wondering what from our 10 year relationship/friendship was actually genuine. I hate lies, I'm a crap liar!"
well thankfully these are just minor things, I was best man at his wedding. I don't care if he has not done anything interesting, just be honest with me. |
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"Depends on the person and the lie. I have a friend who I have known for 40 of the last 41 years, he tells lies, often small ones I decided too let it go but the more it happens the less I like or understand it. I know a lot of people tell white lies too make themselves seem more interesting but I just don't get it! Normally I would call them out.
I HAD a friend who is constantly telling lies, even when she has no need to, about the most trivial things. And about the most unforgivable too. I'm left wondering what from our 10 year relationship/friendship was actually genuine. I hate lies, I'm a crap liar! well thankfully these are just minor things, I was best man at his wedding. I don't care if he has not done anything interesting, just be honest with me."
Exactly, the minor ones used to bug the hell out of me because what is the point?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you knew someone had lied to you, how would you deal with it?
Would it depend on the person?
Or do you react in the same way to anyone who lies to you? "
Depends on the lie |
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If it was someone close I'd be shocked as its not in their nature and would want to know why they had felt the need to lie.
Anyone else then I would just wipe them out my life, I wouldn't even be interested in why they lied |
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"Depends on the person and the lie. I have a friend who I have known for 40 of the last 41 years, he tells lies, often small ones I decided too let it go but the more it happens the less I like or understand it. I know a lot of people tell white lies too make themselves seem more interesting but I just don't get it! Normally I would call them out.
I HAD a friend who is constantly telling lies, even when she has no need to, about the most trivial things. And about the most unforgivable too. I'm left wondering what from our 10 year relationship/friendship was actually genuine. I hate lies, I'm a crap liar! well thankfully these are just minor things, I was best man at his wedding. I don't care if he has not done anything interesting, just be honest with me.
Exactly, the minor ones used to bug the hell out of me because what is the point?! "
I cant see the point either. I also can't lie, it's a trait I like too see in people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Depends on the person and the lie. I have a friend who I have known for 40 of the last 41 years, he tells lies, often small ones I decided too let it go but the more it happens the less I like or understand it. I know a lot of people tell white lies too make themselves seem more interesting but I just don't get it! Normally I would call them out.
I HAD a friend who is constantly telling lies, even when she has no need to, about the most trivial things. And about the most unforgivable too. I'm left wondering what from our 10 year relationship/friendship was actually genuine. I hate lies, I'm a crap liar! well thankfully these are just minor things, I was best man at his wedding. I don't care if he has not done anything interesting, just be honest with me.
Exactly, the minor ones used to bug the hell out of me because what is the point?!
I cant see the point either. I also can't lie, it's a trait I like too see in people."
I often lie about minor things, what I've done or eaten that day etc.
Not because I mean to bur because I don't remember so my brain just makes something up automatically or repeated what I ate a few days ago etc.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If it was someone close I'd be shocked as its not in their nature and would want to know why they had felt the need to lie.
Anyone else then I would just wipe them out my life, I wouldn't even be interested in why they lied"
Seriously?
So you presumably have literally no one in your life.
After all how many times has everyone who's lived answered with "it's OK I'm fine" when they're not.
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"If it was someone close I'd be shocked as its not in their nature and would want to know why they had felt the need to lie.
Anyone else then I would just wipe them out my life, I wouldn't even be interested in why they lied
Seriously?
So you presumably have literally no one in your life.
After all how many times has everyone who's lived answered with "it's OK I'm fine" when they're not.
"
your just being pedantic though arnt you. |
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By *rs Tooty OP Woman
over a year ago
Ayrshire |
I personally don't like like. I feel they create a mistrust.. Once trust has gone it's done.
Simple, silly lies which I just think why???
Then I think.. Why do I keep the contact..
So I end up feeling emotional that I'm guillable enough to think they would treat me like I treat them. 
I'm really good with my bullsh*t radar and often the truth comes out.
Then to make it worse they deny the initial lie.
So frustrating. |
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By *rs Tooty OP Woman
over a year ago
Ayrshire |
I personally don't like like lies. I feel they create a mistrust.. Once trust has gone it's done.
Simple, silly lies which I just think why???
Then I think.. Why do I keep the contact..
So I end up feeling emotional that I'm guillable enough to think they would treat me like I treat them.
I'm really good with my bullsh*t radar and often the truth comes out.
Then to make it worse they deny the initial lie.
So frustrating. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If it was someone close I'd be shocked as its not in their nature and would want to know why they had felt the need to lie.
Anyone else then I would just wipe them out my life, I wouldn't even be interested in why they lied
Seriously?
So you presumably have literally no one in your life.
After all how many times has everyone who's lived answered with "it's OK I'm fine" when they're not.
your just being pedantic though arnt you."
So when you say you cut people out if they lie to you you actually mean you cut people out if they lie to you about a specific set of things?
Cause it's a pretty big difference.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I personally don't like like lies. I feel they create a mistrust.. Once trust has gone it's done.
Simple, silly lies which I just think why???
Then I think.. Why do I keep the contact..
So I end up feeling emotional that I'm guillable enough to think they would treat me like I treat them.
I'm really good with my bullsh*t radar and often the truth comes out.
Then to make it worse they deny the initial lie.
So frustrating. "
So do we ever get the detail on what someone lied to you about that inspired this thread or do we have to wait another 50 messages for the rest of the tale |
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"I personally don't like like lies. I feel they create a mistrust.. Once trust has gone it's done.
Simple, silly lies which I just think why???
Then I think.. Why do I keep the contact..
So I end up feeling emotional that I'm guillable enough to think they would treat me like I treat them.
I'm really good with my bullsh*t radar and often the truth comes out.
Then to make it worse they deny the initial lie.
So frustrating. "
I don't think you are gullible, maybe you are just trusting and hopeful, you expect the best from people and too be treated the same way as you treat them, that's not gullible,frustrating but normal. |
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"If you knew someone had lied to you, how would you deal with it?
Would it depend on the person?
Or do you react in the same way to anyone who lies to you? "
I now no longer know having read that acid baths are pretty ineffective leaving lots of remains etc.
] |
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Everyone lies, it's human to do so. We even lie to ourselves.
If someone lies to me, intentionally wanting something negative to happen, then I'd expect to be proportionately angry. If it was repeated then the relationship could be finished. It all depends on the situation. |
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Most of us lie: even to ourselves. I'll step on the scales and be amazed I've not lost a kilo after going to the gym four times a week, knowing full well pain aux raisin and cappuccinos, brick size fruit and nut bars, shortbread biscuits and chilli crisps are not conducive to weight loss!
My middle daughter is a consummate liar. She's my daughter, I love her, but never believe a word she says. Daft thing is I've never denied her anything so I don't understand her need to lie. |
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"If it was someone close I'd be shocked as its not in their nature and would want to know why they had felt the need to lie.
Anyone else then I would just wipe them out my life, I wouldn't even be interested in why they lied
Seriously?
So you presumably have literally no one in your life.
After all how many times has everyone who's lived answered with "it's OK I'm fine" when they're not.
your just being pedantic though arnt you.
So when you say you cut people out if they lie to you you actually mean you cut people out if they lie to you about a specific set of things?
Cause it's a pretty big difference.
"
and cutting people out your life your not bothered about is different to cutting people out I care about, where you think I would have literally noone in my life bit from I have absolutley no idea as I said I would want to know why they had lied never said anything about cutting them out my life
I thought it was pretty obvious from the op that she was talking about more than someone saying yes I'm fine when there not.
Guess it was simpler for some to understand than others, most people on the thread seem to have got it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends on:
Who it was
Why the did it
The scale of the lie & if it impacts me and/or my family.
I have a pretty forgiving nature so it would have to be a biggie for me to rethink my relationship with that person.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lies usually come from a cowardly / insecure person, so I have understanding for them, nice to try and help them away from that behaviour.
I'm rubbish at lying, plus I really don't see the point. I think I struggle most with people who are 'nice', but open about doing things which aren't positive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you knew someone had lied to you, how would you deal with it?
Would it depend on the person?
Or do you react in the same way to anyone who lies to you? "
just happened to me, crossed her out of my life ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We are all liars though. We spend all day doing it,
Larry David's Curb Your Enthusiasm played on it but we lie to protect other people's feelings
If someone asks something and we want to decline we will naturally rather make stuff up than be brutally honest, |
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"We are all liars though. We spend all day doing it,
Larry David's Curb Your Enthusiasm played on it but we lie to protect other people's feelings
If someone asks something and we want to decline we will naturally rather make stuff up than be brutally honest,"
Lies to save people's feeling are fine to a degree. If I turned up on a night out in a dress that looked awful it would be pointless and demotivating to tell me but if I put it on at home it would be a kindness to tell the truth.
Honesty saves feelings in the long run in lots of cases. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are all liars though. We spend all day doing it,
Larry David's Curb Your Enthusiasm played on it but we lie to protect other people's feelings
If someone asks something and we want to decline we will naturally rather make stuff up than be brutally honest,
Lies to save people's feeling are fine to a degree. If I turned up on a night out in a dress that looked awful it would be pointless and demotivating to tell me but if I put it on at home it would be a kindness to tell the truth.
Honesty saves feelings in the long run in lots of cases."
Totally agree, |
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By *rs Tooty OP Woman
over a year ago
Ayrshire |
Thank you, I think I'm too trusting. I don't see the point in lying. So feeling/knowing I'm being lied to is hard.
Trusting is a big thing for me, I don't do it easily so to be lied to.. Hurts.
"I personally don't like like lies. I feel they create a mistrust.. Once trust has gone it's done.
Simple, silly lies which I just think why???
Then I think.. Why do I keep the contact..
So I end up feeling emotional that I'm guillable enough to think they would treat me like I treat them.
I'm really good with my bullsh*t radar and often the truth comes out.
Then to make it worse they deny the initial lie.
So frustrating. I don't think you are gullible, maybe you are just trusting and hopeful, you expect the best from people and too be treated the same way as you treat them, that's not gullible,frustrating but normal."
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"
So frustrating. I don't think you are gullible, maybe you are just trusting and hopeful, you expect the best from people and too be treated the same way as you treat them, that's not gullible,frustrating but normal."
Yes, I agree. It has been described as a violation of expectation - it is still an acceptable norm to EXPECT people to tell the truth!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends what the lies about .
The worse one ever happened to me ... He was in a mess as his mother was dying , so I wouldn't be able to go visit as planned. And ingredients would be in bad taste.
Only to find out that he had met someone else, when he was supposedly be with his mother... Plus he had the audacity to post a verification ....idiot!!!
Rot in hell springs to mind ! |
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