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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I fear I may have lost some man points over the last few days with my contributions to the various "cat" threads and personal conversations about cats.
So this afternoon I will be building and lighting a bonfire, knocking down a wall, rebuilding an engine, abseiling down killimanjaro and wrestling a bear.
In the words of Tim the Toolman Taylor; "woman, come watch me weld.........."
Disclaimer; some or all of the above information may or may not be true.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I HATE cats!! Horrible manky useless things! They make my eyes itch and shit in my garden! Anyone got a few bricks?? I'm just off to the nearest river with a sack... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I HATE cats!! Horrible manky useless things! They make my eyes itch and shit in my garden! Anyone got a few bricks?? I'm just off to the nearest river with a sack..."
When I've finished wrestling this bear into submission I'll bring it round for you.
Seems more like your kind of animal.  |
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"I HATE cats!! Horrible manky useless things! They make my eyes itch and shit in my garden! Anyone got a few bricks?? I'm just off to the nearest river with a sack..."
Just lifted a huge cat turd from my garden.... 'kin horrible things. My ex hubby left me with the bloody cat, lived til he was 19!!!!! And breeeeeeeeath |
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Talking aboit cats is endearing to some, however stabbing someone with a stiletto may be slightly off putting 
It's a wonder I get any meets the shit I come out with
I think my curled up fanny lip thread may have been off putting |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I HATE cats!! Horrible manky useless things! They make my eyes itch and shit in my garden! Anyone got a few bricks?? I'm just off to the nearest river with a sack...
When I've finished wrestling this bear into submission I'll bring it round for you.
Seems more like your kind of animal. "
Good man!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I HATE cats!! Horrible manky useless things! They make my eyes itch and shit in my garden! Anyone got a few bricks?? I'm just off to the nearest river with a sack...
Just lifted a huge cat turd from my garden.... 'kin horrible things. My ex hubby left me with the bloody cat, lived til he was 19!!!!! And breeeeeeeeath"
The ex hubby or the cat??? |
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"
When I've finished wrestling this bear into submission I'll bring it round for you.
Is it called Sooty?
Glove-puppet wanking is just sooooo last year...
Mr ddc"
It's ok if ya do it in the shed whilst smoking a pipe  |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"I fear I may have lost some man points over the last few days with my contributions to the various "cat" threads and personal conversations about cats.
So this afternoon I will be building and lighting a bonfire, knocking down a wall, rebuilding an engine, abseiling down killimanjaro and wrestling a bear.
In the words of Tim the Toolman Taylor; "woman, come watch me weld.........."
Disclaimer; some or all of the above information may or may not be true.
"
too late... hand over the man card.... i'll put it next to obi's after his "50 shades" confession........
i am going to appeal to see whether my love of "bake off" can have my man card taken off me |
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"I HATE cats!! Horrible manky useless things! They make my eyes itch and shit in my garden! Anyone got a few bricks?? I'm just off to the nearest river with a sack..."
My illusion is shattered, I might even have to give up the kisses I'm owed!!    |
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"
When I've finished wrestling this bear into submission I'll bring it round for you.
Is it called Sooty?
Glove-puppet wanking is just sooooo last year...
Mr ddc"
He's straight, surely it would have to be Sue not Sooty?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I HATE cats!! Horrible manky useless things! They make my eyes itch and shit in my garden! Anyone got a few bricks?? I'm just off to the nearest river with a sack...
Just lifted a huge cat turd from my garden.... 'kin horrible things. My ex hubby left me with the bloody cat, lived til he was 19!!!!! And breeeeeeeeath"
I feel like that about children.
And most other people too. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
When I've finished wrestling this bear into submission I'll bring it round for you.
Is it called Sooty?
Glove-puppet wanking is just sooooo last year...
Mr ddc"
It's more glamorous than the sock I normally use....... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I HATE cats!! Horrible manky useless things! They make my eyes itch and shit in my garden! Anyone got a few bricks?? I'm just off to the nearest river with a sack...
When I've finished wrestling this bear into submission I'll bring it round for you.
Seems more like your kind of animal.
Good man!!!"
Be there soon, once I've got, ahhhhhhhhhhhh, oomph, fecking bear paw, Grrrrrrrr, ahhhhhhhhhhhh, knocked, fuck ouch bollocks, bear restrained.
Phew. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Talking aboit cats is endearing to some, however stabbing someone with a stiletto may be slightly off putting
It's a wonder I get any meets the shit I come out with
I think my curled up fanny lip thread may have been off putting "
Not off putting to everyone though.
How are your lips by the way?  |
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"Talking aboit cats is endearing to some, however stabbing someone with a stiletto may be slightly off putting
It's a wonder I get any meets the shit I come out with
I think my curled up fanny lip thread may have been off putting
Not off putting to everyone though.
How are your lips by the way? "
there very well, thank you for asking |
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"I HATE cats!! Horrible manky useless things! They make my eyes itch and shit in my garden! Anyone got a few bricks?? I'm just off to the nearest river with a sack...
Just lifted a huge cat turd from my garden.... 'kin horrible things. My ex hubby left me with the bloody cat, lived til he was 19!!!!! And breeeeeeeeath
The ex hubby or the cat??? "
Ex hubby is still kicking around lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I fear I may have lost some man points over the last few days with my contributions to the various "cat" threads and personal conversations about cats.
So this afternoon I will be building and lighting a bonfire, knocking down a wall, rebuilding an engine, abseiling down killimanjaro and wrestling a bear.
In the words of Tim the Toolman Taylor; "woman, come watch me weld.........."
Disclaimer; some or all of the above information may or may not be true.
too late... hand over the man card.... i'll put it next to obi's after his "50 shades" confession........
i am going to appeal to see whether my love of "bake off" can have my man card taken off me"
What did Obi confess? How did I miss this interesting piece of information?
I'll knit you a new man card if you tell me.  |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I fear I may have lost some man points over the last few days with my contributions to the various "cat" threads and personal conversations about cats.
So this afternoon I will be building and lighting a bonfire, knocking down a wall, rebuilding an engine, abseiling down killimanjaro and wrestling a bear.
In the words of Tim the Toolman Taylor; "woman, come watch me weld.........."
Disclaimer; some or all of the above information may or may not be true.
too late... hand over the man card.... i'll put it next to obi's after his "50 shades" confession........
i am going to appeal to see whether my love of "bake off" can have my man card taken off me"
You lost your man card many threads ago.
Snuggle up with the OP and Obi.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I fear I may have lost some man points over the last few days with my contributions to the various "cat" threads and personal conversations about cats.
So this afternoon I will be building and lighting a bonfire, knocking down a wall, rebuilding an engine, abseiling down killimanjaro and wrestling a bear.
In the words of Tim the Toolman Taylor; "woman, come watch me weld.........."
Disclaimer; some or all of the above information may or may not be true.
too late... hand over the man card.... i'll put it next to obi's after his "50 shades" confession........
i am going to appeal to see whether my love of "bake off" can have my man card taken off me"
Baking, that involves sharp implements and tools right?
Help yourself to a big pile of manpoints fellah. |
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"I fear I may have lost some man points over the last few days with my contributions to the various "cat" threads and personal conversations about cats.
So this afternoon I will be building and lighting a bonfire, knocking down a wall, rebuilding an engine, abseiling down killimanjaro and wrestling a bear.
In the words of Tim the Toolman Taylor; "woman, come watch me weld.........."
Disclaimer; some or all of the above information may or may not be true.
too late... hand over the man card.... i'll put it next to obi's after his "50 shades" confession........
i am going to appeal to see whether my love of "bake off" can have my man card taken off me
Baking, that involves sharp implements and tools right?
Help yourself to a big pile of manpoints fellah."
And blow torches (unless you let Mary Berry take yours away from you). |
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"
It's more glamorous than the sock I normally use....... "
Is she called 'Lamb Chop'?
(That'll keep the youngsters busy on Google for a bit )
I nearly did a thread yesterday about my new manly garden shredder, that has even more horse-power than my first car....
.but I was worried someone would ask me something technical and I'd end up having to admit my first car was a Noddy pedal one  |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"
It's more glamorous than the sock I normally use.......
Is she called 'Lamb Chop'?
(That'll keep the youngsters busy on Google for a bit )
I nearly did a thread yesterday about my new manly garden shredder, that has even more horse-power than my first car....
.but I was worried someone would ask me something technical and I'd end up having to admit my first car was a Noddy pedal one "
Why would you want to shred your garden? |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"
Why would you want to shred your garden?
Trust you to get pedantic 
I initially just put 'shredder', but then I was worried someone would think I was just doing office paperwork
"
You know full well that you would have been the pedant had you seen such a post.
Now, is it big enough to bulk shred the two bags of confidential paperwork I can't be bothered to shred?
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
Why would you want to shred your garden?
Trust you to get pedantic
I initially just put 'shredder', but then I was worried someone would think I was just doing office paperwork
"
They might have asked why you wanted to get the ninja turtles boss..... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
Why would you want to shred your garden?
Trust you to get pedantic
I initially just put 'shredder', but then I was worried someone would think I was just doing office paperwork
You know full well that you would have been the pedant had you seen such a post.
Now, is it big enough to bulk shred the two bags of confidential paperwork I can't be bothered to shred?
"
Shredding you say? Step aside, this is manstuff.....
Me, Fabio and Mr DDC will handle this...... |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"
Why would you want to shred your garden?
Trust you to get pedantic
I initially just put 'shredder', but then I was worried someone would think I was just doing office paperwork
You know full well that you would have been the pedant had you seen such a post.
Now, is it big enough to bulk shred the two bags of confidential paperwork I can't be bothered to shred?
Shredding you say? Step aside, this is manstuff.....
Me, Fabio and Mr DDC will handle this......"
Great! There's proper lifting involved too.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I like kitties ^_^
My WhatsApp folder is a weird mixture of cute fluffy animals, motorcycles and half naked women :o"
Swap "weued" for "ecclectic" and you're Ok. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I like kitties ^_^
My WhatsApp folder is a weird mixture of cute fluffy animals, motorcycles and half naked women :o
Swap "weued" for "ecclectic" and you're Ok. "
Or even weird....... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
Why would you want to shred your garden?
Trust you to get pedantic
I initially just put 'shredder', but then I was worried someone would think I was just doing office paperwork
You know full well that you would have been the pedant had you seen such a post.
Now, is it big enough to bulk shred the two bags of confidential paperwork I can't be bothered to shred?
Shredding you say? Step aside, this is manstuff.....
Me, Fabio and Mr DDC will handle this......
Great! There's proper lifting involved too.
"
We'll get straight to it, none of that health and safety, risk assessment, lifting plan malarkey..... |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"
Why would you want to shred your garden?
Trust you to get pedantic
I initially just put 'shredder', but then I was worried someone would think I was just doing office paperwork
You know full well that you would have been the pedant had you seen such a post.
Now, is it big enough to bulk shred the two bags of confidential paperwork I can't be bothered to shred?
Shredding you say? Step aside, this is manstuff.....
Me, Fabio and Mr DDC will handle this......
Great! There's proper lifting involved too.
We'll get straight to it, none of that health and safety, risk assessment, lifting plan malarkey..... "
Manhandling is the term, I think. |
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"Now, is it big enough to bulk shred the two bags of confidential paperwork I can't be bothered to shred?
"
No probs. Proper men are well-known for using the wrong tool for the job anyway!
"Shredding you say? Step aside, this is manstuff.....
Me, Fabio and Mr DDC will handle this......
Great! There's proper lifting involved too.
"
(I won't admit, while I was lifting said shredder so that she could scan it, the girl on the checkout said "Don't strain yourself" I'm not sure about losing man-points, but I may have gained a few OAP points ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I fear I may have lost some man points over the last few days with my contributions to the various "cat" threads and personal conversations about cats.
So this afternoon I will be building and lighting a bonfire, knocking down a wall, rebuilding an engine, abseiling down killimanjaro and wrestling a bear.
In the words of Tim the Toolman Taylor; "woman, come watch me weld.........."
Disclaimer; some or all of the above information may or may not be true.
"
Hello its cool you have a cat.
|
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Now, is it big enough to bulk shred the two bags of confidential paperwork I can't be bothered to shred?
No probs. Proper men are well-known for using the wrong tool for the job anyway!
"
Two full black bags are waiting to clog up your shredder. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Now, is it big enough to bulk shred the two bags of confidential paperwork I can't be bothered to shred?
No probs. Proper men are well-known for using the wrong tool for the job anyway!
Two full black bags are waiting to clog up your shredder. "
All bags will be emptied. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Talking aboit cats is endearing to some, however stabbing someone with a stiletto may be slightly off putting
It's a wonder I get any meets the shit I come out with
I think my curled up fanny lip thread may have been off putting "
On the contrary. It was hilarious. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I keep coming in to spy the cat loving men
None here. Only men men. With big powerful tools..... awww I want a pussy lover "
In the words of the farm boy, "as you wish". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What's a woman got to do to get a real man around here
Puts down chainsaw, waves. In a manly way......"
Hand in hip,on tiptoe is not a manly way to wave |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What's a woman got to do to get a real man around here
Puts down chainsaw, waves. In a manly way......
Hand in hip,on tiptoe is not a manly way to wave "
Puts on deep voice, I'd never wave like that...... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I HATE cats!! Horrible manky useless things! They make my eyes itch and shit in my garden! Anyone got a few bricks?? I'm just off to the nearest river with a sack..."
Chicken, love to see you try that with a 300 pound Jaguar, I'll bring one back from the Amazon for you, if I ever 'king get there.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What happened to "building and lighting a bonfire, knocking down a wall, rebuilding an engine, abseiling down killimanjaro" today?
"
The bloody bear put up a hell of a fight. See photo... |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"What happened to "building and lighting a bonfire, knocking down a wall, rebuilding an engine, abseiling down killimanjaro" today?
The bloody bear put up a hell of a fight. See photo..."
Which one's the bear? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I HATE cats!! Horrible manky useless things! They make my eyes itch and shit in my garden! Anyone got a few bricks?? I'm just off to the nearest river with a sack..."
me too,total waste of fur |
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"Mr DDC has just got man points galore for dealing with the enormous spider that just ran across our carpet.
He's my hero.
Mrs DDC"
{takes large bow}
Furthermore, assuming you believe in reincarnation, I've done the spider a favour too
Mr ddc |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Mr DDC has just got man points galore for dealing with the enormous spider that just ran across our carpet.
He's my hero.
Mrs DDC
{takes large bow}
Furthermore, assuming you believe in reincarnation, I've done the spider a favour too
Mr ddc"
I prefer real milk..... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What happened to "building and lighting a bonfire, knocking down a wall, rebuilding an engine, abseiling down killimanjaro" today?
The bloody bear put up a hell of a fight. See photo...
Which one's the bear? "
He's the one on the right. |
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