FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Deep and meaningful...

Deep and meaningful...

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Before I say anything, I want to say, there are loads of very clever and sensitive people on here, I've learned so much, and I have lovely friends who I confide in, and, tbh have been great support, but, a couple of threads I've read recently got me thinking. We're all on here for the same reason, we all (mostly) have the same motivation, so, here's my latest intrigue (for want of a better word). When we post (yes I do it too) fairly important and personal queries or questions in the open forums, do we expect a reliable and sensible response, and do we get it? As I say, I'm intrigued, got to say, most of the responses are sensitive and considerate, just not sure, given the nature of the site, if it's the right place. What's your thoughts?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Easy. I wouldn't share any personal information/queries with a public forum. I'm amazed at the amount of people that do to be honest.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Easy. I wouldn't share any personal information/queries with a public forum. I'm amazed at the amount of people that do to be honest. "

pressed post too soon.....i meant to add that although sometimes people are helpful, normally they don't know the background to the query so it's impossible to give impartial advice. O wouldn't make any decisions based on a thread on a forum that's for sure.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't post anything intensely personal x

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I think it depends on the query, the way it's presented and often, but not always, the gender of the OP.

When people are genuine in need and the truth of that comes across on a thread I think the forum is one of the warmest and most generous of anonymous places to get support.

When people post in a negative or aggressive manner they often get that back in some way.

Threads take on a life of their own. There isn't a secret place where people are crafting the same or similar response and agreeing to all post it at the same time. Just because a bunch of strangers all post a view that is contrary to the OP does not mean that they are bullying them, but that is the accusation.

All I can do is be responsible for my posts to reflect my thoughts and responses. I can challenge and I get passionate about some subjects. I don't apologise for that. If people are being sexist, racist, homophobic or show hatred and a lack of compassion I will challenge that, sometimes more strongly than at others.

If someone wants to be abusive to me about something I post on a thread I think they should keep it to the thread and not send PMs but apparently I am wrong to think this.

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

If I can answer sensibly, I will. If not, I don't bother posting.

I find it bizarre that some people would share their deepest secrets on here, and I worry that some people would post here asking about something important before asking an expert, but each to their own.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Easy. I wouldn't share any personal information/queries with a public forum. I'm amazed at the amount of people that do to be honest. "

Agreed.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Easy. I wouldn't share any personal information/queries with a public forum. I'm amazed at the amount of people that do to be honest. "

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By *alcon43Woman over a year ago

Paisley

It can be a bit difficult to discuss issues outwith the Fab community and we do come from all walks of life and probably cover many different likes and dislikes when it comes to having fun and pleasure.

If I respond to a post asking for advice I will give an honest answer based upon my own experience or knowledge.

I have had a lot of support and advice from fabbers over the years.

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By *awandOrderCouple over a year ago

SW London

I too post what I think and my responses are considerate when and where they need to be. I don't disclose personal information of any consequence on the forums, but in personal messages I have done and of course, I have met people on the site at parties etc. Some are very genuine. I like the debate and am genuinely interested in people's opinions ... I often wish certain posters, whose posts I look forward to would post on some things. I feel an affinity with them on some level. I have not got to the stage of posting for help for any issues or problems I or we have ... just willing to give my opinion. But some posts on some threads have led to interesting help and information ...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think it's fine to reach out to anyone, i think it's ok to ask for help when you need that. I think it's ok to ask sexually active and promiscuous people their opinions too.

Sometimes people just need to vent, or need an unbiased view.

I do think there's a small amount of people who prey on the vulnerable so people posting should be aware of that, but you'd find them in any walk of life or other forums.

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

I would exercise caution - if it's that important or personal, the forums are probably not the best place for it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Everyone is different. Some people are really shy in person, and may find it easier to ask things on here that are better left off public forums. But for them, I can understand the impulse. I try to offer the best advice I can, and don't bother when there is nothing of substance I can contribute.

Other people are, I think, seeking attention. This, too, is a valid use of the forums if that is what you use them for. People are likely to supply the requested attention, whether it be good or bad.

I would personally not write anything on the forums that would matter to me in any personally substantial way. But again, that is just my choice. I have other avenues for that type of discussion and I am not particularly seeking attention.

On a slightly different note, however, I do enjoy some deep and meaningful posts when, instead of being personal, they raise issues that, while somewhat vague and theoretical, are pertinent to people on this site. It is interesting, in my opinion, to get the opinions of fellow "swingers" on "big issues." The forums are an ideal way for others who find this stuff interesting, to discuss it.

Sorry for the long winded response.

-Courtney

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By *ce WingerMan over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I wouldn't seek medical advice off a bunch of sex hungry perves, although I did enjoy a recent thread about a guy wanting advice on how to chop down a 18' conifer

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No.

I don't expect sense, or rationality or any kind of real help.

I expect scathing mockery, bullying and ridicule. Particularly from the women, oddly

Which is why I don't start serious threads.

Xxxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

On the married/cheating threads, every so often I will explain my side of things. Never looking for sympathy or understanding or acceptance; just trying to show that assumptions and sweeping generalisations aren't always appropriate.

I never try to change everyone's minds because I know I can't. But I'm happy to take the flak if I can help even just one person be a little more understanding.

I can't explain why I do this as I personally gain nothing from it.

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