FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Do you base you're attraction on...

Do you base you're attraction on...

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

the people you've pulled?

Just asking. No slagging people off for being honest, i'm genuinely wanting to know something here. Someone said something to me that didn't make sense but now it made me think of this.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No not all as I see all sorts.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

To a degree I guess we do .

If we have had a run of meeting hotties , we tend to feel like we must have something that type of person finds attractive .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I see what you mean, I think, but that's not how I work. How attractive I feel is not dependant on other people desiring me, although that is a huge rush of course. It's more to do with how good I feel about who I am and that makes me feel attractive, or sometimes not!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No. Not at all. I don't really judge my own attractiveness in any case.

Anyway, the dynamics of supply and demand on this site create crazy match-ups. In my regular life, no model with a 6 pack wanted to date me...but they'll happily fuck me here.

-Courtney

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I see what you mean, I think, but that's not how I work. How attractive I feel is not dependant on other people desiring me, although that is a huge rush of course. It's more to do with how good I feel about who I am and that makes me feel attractive, or sometimes not!"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If we are talking about a night out then I question my attractiveness big time. Beer goggles are not my friend.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Not at all the only person that can make me feel good about myself is me...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

We could make it about nights out, relationships, anything really. Thanks for all the replies so far.

Yeah i'm more base my attraction on actually pulling rather than who i pulled haha, but like i said someone said something that didn't make sense, and i do think they're basing their own attractiveness on their girlfriend.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"the people you've pulled?

Just asking. No slagging people off for being honest, i'm genuinely wanting to know something here. Someone said something to me that didn't make sense but now it made me think of this."

What did they say?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Not at all the only person that can make me feel good about myself is me..."

This

I just take things in my stride and I never believe that people are out of other people's leagues.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Then my attractiveness would vary but generally would put me way more attractive than my own perception. So nah! I don't.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"the people you've pulled?

Just asking. No slagging people off for being honest, i'm genuinely wanting to know something here. Someone said something to me that didn't make sense but now it made me think of this.

What did they say?"

They were feeling sorry for themself and said they wouldn't find a relationship coz they were ugly, i told them they weren't ugly and they would ( he's not bad, better than average looking definitely, imo). Anyway turns out he has a girlfriend and she is ugly. Not gonna say why she is or anything coz it's not her fault and this is just my opinion as well but i find it weird someone would think their own girlfriend is ugly...coz if he was saying he can't find anyone coz he is ugly idk then i think he did wanna be with someone better looking? Like i said it didn't make any sense until i thought about this.

Just trying to figure what is going on sometimes when people chat rubbish to you. Maybe it's not meant to make sense even?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If a man mailed 100 people and got no positive response of course he would feel bad.

Most women wouldn't mail 100 people for fear of rejection.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes. I've had have low confidence for a very long time and the amazingly attractive ladies of Fab help with that.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

Not my physical looks, but personality wise I think I must be OK, as I have my partner who in my eyes may not be a Greek god physically but personality wise is perfect.

But I'd never thought about it till this thread

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"the people you've pulled?

Just asking. No slagging people off for being honest, i'm genuinely wanting to know something here. Someone said something to me that didn't make sense but now it made me think of this.

What did they say?

Just trying to figure what is going on sometimes when people chat rubbish to you. Maybe it's not meant to make sense even?"

So he based his girlfriend's worth on her looks, and then bases his own worth on that too? She needs a nicer boyfriend!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"the people you've pulled?

Just asking. No slagging people off for being honest, i'm genuinely wanting to know something here. Someone said something to me that didn't make sense but now it made me think of this.

What did they say?

Just trying to figure what is going on sometimes when people chat rubbish to you. Maybe it's not meant to make sense even?

So he based his girlfriend's worth on her looks, and then bases his own worth on that too? She needs a nicer boyfriend!"

I thought that yeah, he might genuinely love her though idk he never talks about her. He's really insecure about his looks though so it's definitely not her fault. Might be she's just another excuse for him to whinge about himself.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"the people you've pulled?

Just asking. No slagging people off for being honest, i'm genuinely wanting to know something here. Someone said something to me that didn't make sense but now it made me think of this.

What did they say?

Just trying to figure what is going on sometimes when people chat rubbish to you. Maybe it's not meant to make sense even?"
your right it doesn't make sense, his girlfriend deserves someone a lot better, maybe it's his ugly attitude

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By *awandOrderCouple over a year ago

SW London

I agree and find that very strange foe someone to call their gf or partner ugly. When I am attracted to someone in terms of relationship material, I am attracted, and don't notice if they are handsome/pretty or ugly whatever that means in the conventional sense.

I don't judge people by who their partner is, and that includes myself.

I find that when I get to know someone, I don't see them in a surface way.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"I agree and find that very strange foe someone to call their gf or partner ugly. When I am attracted to someone in terms of relationship material, I am attracted, and don't notice if they are handsome/pretty or ugly whatever that means in the conventional sense.

I don't judge people by who their partner is, and that includes myself.

I find that when I get to know someone, I don't see them in a surface way.

To me its like using someone as a status symbol - but I am sure lots of people (possibly younger) go for their partner because they are conventionally what is deemed about as attractive ... but not me. "
I agree, it actually reminds me of when I was about 13 and seeked the approval of my friends. My partner is 72 I doubt many women run down the street going phoar when they see him coming but he has the most kindest face ever.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"the people you've pulled?

Just asking. No slagging people off for being honest, i'm genuinely wanting to know something here. Someone said something to me that didn't make sense but now it made me think of this.

What did they say?

Just trying to figure what is going on sometimes when people chat rubbish to you. Maybe it's not meant to make sense even?

your right it doesn't make sense, his girlfriend deserves someone a lot better, maybe it's his ugly attitude"

I'm don't think i'm gonna stay friends with him either. And he has also got less good looking in my eyes lately, as well as his attitude, which i find weird.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I don't judge people by who their partner is, and that includes myself.

I find that when I get to know someone, I don't see them in a surface way.

As in superficial? I thought that as well.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I look at my wife and constantly think that I am batting way above my average(lucky me)....

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By *isscheekychopsWoman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I don't base my attraction on people I have pulled as I have attracted different kind of men. I think I'm pretty but overweight I think often I'm attracted to those who are not attraction to me but that's the law of attraction I suppose

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"the people you've pulled?

Just asking. No slagging people off for being honest, i'm genuinely wanting to know something here. Someone said something to me that didn't make sense but now it made me think of this.

What did they say?

Just trying to figure what is going on sometimes when people chat rubbish to you. Maybe it's not meant to make sense even?

your right it doesn't make sense, his girlfriend deserves someone a lot better, maybe it's his ugly attitude

I'm don't think i'm gonna stay friends with him either. And he has also got less good looking in my eyes lately, as well as his attitude, which i find weird."

See that's a valid point, someone may be gorgeous but if their attitude to life & others around them isn't good that overrides any looks for me....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I try not to judge my own attractiveness. If I'm having a run of bad luck ( as I am now), I'd find it very easy to be negative about myself. I aim to be myself and let others find something attractive in that. Probably more in my personality than looks but we can't all be page 3 models ! X

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"the people you've pulled?

Just asking. No slagging people off for being honest, i'm genuinely wanting to know something here. Someone said something to me that didn't make sense but now it made me think of this.

What did they say?

Just trying to figure what is going on sometimes when people chat rubbish to you. Maybe it's not meant to make sense even?

your right it doesn't make sense, his girlfriend deserves someone a lot better, maybe it's his ugly attitude

I'm don't think i'm gonna stay friends with him either. And he has also got less good looking in my eyes lately, as well as his attitude, which i find weird.

See that's a valid point, someone may be gorgeous but if their attitude to life & others around them isn't good that overrides any looks for me...."

I am pretty shallow on here tbh, but it is a lot different with someone you fall for. All my partners i didn't find that attractive until after i fell for them and got with them. Not even the one who looks like David Beckham lol. But yeah i look at him now and am tempted to tell him he isn't good looking.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks for all the other replies, i am reading them. We're all attractive to someone luckily, or maybe not so lucky if they're idiots.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I think the most important thing is to love yourself and have self worth, your friend in question sounds like a right cock but clearly has confidence issues but to belittle his girlfriend is not fair

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By *ust RachelTV/TS over a year ago

Horsham

I base attraction on the connection with them, looks are a bonus for me. Getting on with the person is better.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I think the most important thing is to love yourself and have self worth, your friend in question sounds like a right cock but clearly has confidence issues but to belittle his girlfriend is not fair "

Yeah he says stupid things like 'bet you fancy him' about some guy i didn't even notice, so i look and ask why and he'll make a comment on how he looks buff or whatever. Gonna tell him to sort himself out, then get rid coz he probably won't sort himself out.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thanks for all the other replies, i am reading them. We're all attractive to someone luckily, or maybe not so lucky if they're idiots."

Has he said that his girlfriend is ugly? Might be other people that think she is.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I look at my wife and constantly think that I am batting way above my average(lucky me)...."

I have that thought quite often also

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By *isscheekychopsWoman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

You don't need negitive people in your life it will just bring you down in the end

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Attractiveness ?

What is attractiveness here ?

I'd say it's close to - 'do you fit the criteria for that person?'

Some people will choose you as you seem to be good company and it will lead to sex.

Others will choose you as you have tits and vag.

I don't pull. I believe I'm pulled. Fishes and tanks and hardons and all that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Thanks for all the other replies, i am reading them. We're all attractive to someone luckily, or maybe not so lucky if they're idiots.

Has he said that his girlfriend is ugly? Might be other people that think she is. "

He hasn't told anyone about her, said he was single and won't find anyone coz he's ugly. When i found out about her i thought it was funny of him to say he won't find anyone coz he's ugly, especially as he's with someone. Makes more sense that way anyway. Fuck knows, the more i think about it the more i think i don't care and gonna get rid. Just going through a stage of trying to figure people out and rearranging my life and the people in it. Plus he's still acting single and looking for someone as well. Idk sometimes you let your standards slide when you've known a friend for years and let them off with stuff you wouldn't with anyone else. Might ask other people who know him what they think, wanted unbiased opinion really, well wanted to work it out for myself based on replies to the OP.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Is he your boyfriend ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

You don't need negitive people in your life it will just bring you down in the end

Yeah, usually i use the distraction technique when people ask me awkward questions or do my head it with stuff, but he knows how to get me to reply (or might be habit by now idk).

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Is he your boyfriend ?"

No. I don't like him that way.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thanks for all the other replies, i am reading them. We're all attractive to someone luckily, or maybe not so lucky if they're idiots.

Has he said that his girlfriend is ugly? Might be other people that think she is.

Hope the rearrangements work out for you

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By *kin BohnerMan over a year ago

derby

I don't base my attraction (if I have any) on anyone or anything else. I look how I look I am who I am if someone is attracted to me that's great if not that's fine. We can't all like the same thing.

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"the people you've pulled?

Just asking. No slagging people off for being honest, i'm genuinely wanting to know something here. Someone said something to me that didn't make sense but now it made me think of this."

I don't base my attraction on who I've pulled, I wake up to a Jason Statham lookalike and I'm no Rosie!!!

However, as shallow as it may sound, and I make no apology, I do feel "peeved" if someone I find physically unattractive tries to chat me up.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Thanks for all the other replies, i am reading them. We're all attractive to someone luckily, or maybe not so lucky if they're idiots.

Has he said that his girlfriend is ugly? Might be other people that think she is.

Hope the rearrangements work out for you

Yeah thanks. Sometimes i dump friends and then go back to hanging out with them if they're good enough friends and seem to have changed.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I don't think it matters that he says his girlfriend is ugly.

Not everyone is together because of something as shallow as looks.

If he says he's ugly he probably just wants someone to say he isn't ugly.

There is nothing in this conversation that doesn't go through everyone's heads day in day out.

Intent is everything. I don't know what jokes , insecurities or venom was behind what he said.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Answers are contradicting, so i don't think that's helping lol. but thanks anyway.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Right, conclusion is, gonna ask him why he's hiding things from me. Then tell him to sort himself out. Then slowly drop contact.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's a bit weird to be with someone if you think they are ugly cant be good for the other persons confidence level ..... I must admit over the years I have failed with some people I thought were attractive but when it came down to it mr pink had all the fuck capabilities of a marsh mallow ....x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"It's a bit weird to be with someone if you think they are ugly cant be good for the other persons confidence level ..... I must admit over the years I have failed with some people I thought were attractive but when it came down to it mr pink had all the fuck capabilities of a marsh mallow ....x"

Like granny said though they might be together for more than that so looks don't matter. And oubt he's told her that. Do know a guy who used to be the same and actually whinge TO his wife about it, they split up pretty quick.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Blimey what a question! I base my attraction on loads of things, age, mood, how many days since I washed my hair, height of shoes, type of underwear, how many men look at me as I walk down the road, what I see in the mirror, what Mr N tells me, how my mum talks about me and always has (she thinks I'm beautiful), the way my daughter talks about me (she thinks I'm beautiful too), compliments or otherwise that I receive.....so many factors. Some days I feel I'm God's gift to mankind

and others I don't

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Definitely not, but ESPECIALLY not on Fab. Not had an off-fab pull/date/drink etc for over 5 years... yet on here I have some jaw droppingly beautiful men want to meet me. It's just numbers are very much stacked in my favour on here!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I love brunettes, just my thing.

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I partly judge my own attractiveness not on the people I've pulled but on how people react to me. What I see in the mirror is also factored in.

I'm massively overweight which makes me even less attractive to quite a lot of people, (myself included).

When you've dated someone who wouldn't ever tell you you're pretty but always said lovely, (as in a lovely person), that sums it up.

In terms of physical attraction, my face is fairly average and my body is gross.

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By *ce WingerMan over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

In general, I prefer brunettes over blondes, but had a period in my life where nearly every girl I got intimate with was blonde. It did make me think whether this was my subconscious trying to tell me something, but then I realised that it was actually a personality that I found attractive and hair colour was actually irrelevant

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I partly judge my own attractiveness not on the people I've pulled but on how people react to me. What I see in the mirror is also factored in.

I'm massively overweight which makes me even less attractive to quite a lot of people, (myself included).

When you've dated someone who wouldn't ever tell you you're pretty but always said lovely, (as in a lovely person), that sums it up.

In terms of physical attraction, my face is fairly average and my body is gross."

You are attractive in your own way, and your body is not gross m'dear

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"In general, I prefer brunettes over blondes, but had a period in my life where nearly every girl I got intimate with was blonde. It did make me think whether this was my subconscious trying to tell me something, but then I realised that it was actually a personality that I found attractive and hair colour was actually irrelevant

My hair colour is completely irrelevant and had been for years as its entirely dependent on my hair dresser

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

I pulled this HAWT black dancer in March ?

...as I said to him "You're *almost* out of my league"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nah I know I punch above my weight

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"I partly judge my own attractiveness not on the people I've pulled but on how people react to me. What I see in the mirror is also factored in.

I'm massively overweight which makes me even less attractive to quite a lot of people, (myself included).

When you've dated someone who wouldn't ever tell you you're pretty but always said lovely, (as in a lovely person), that sums it up.

In terms of physical attraction, my face is fairly average and my body is gross.

You are attractive in your own way, and your body is not gross m'dear"

I was referring only to physical attractiveness.

As for my body, I think it's gross. Others may think differently but it doesn't make my view wrong.

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

And I know plenty on here consider overweight women disgusting because they feel the need to say so every 5 minutes.

I was answering a question, not fishing for compliments or searching for the knights anyway.

I like who I am but not what I look like.

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"I was referring only to physical attractiveness.

As for my body, I think it's gross. Others may think differently but it doesn't make my view wrong."

I was about 25 when I had a brainwave - chance are that the other person is just as worried, if not more so, about their own body and performance.

Don;t worry.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I partly judge my own attractiveness not on the people I've pulled but on how people react to me. What I see in the mirror is also factored in.

I'm massively overweight which makes me even less attractive to quite a lot of people, (myself included).

When you've dated someone who wouldn't ever tell you you're pretty but always said lovely, (as in a lovely person), that sums it up.

In terms of physical attraction, my face is fairly average and my body is gross.

You are attractive in your own way, and your body is not gross m'dear

I was referring only to physical attractiveness.

As for my body, I think it's gross. Others may think differently but it doesn't make my view wrong.

I was too. And touché

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And I know plenty on here consider overweight women disgusting because they feel the need to say so every 5 minutes.

I was answering a question, not fishing for compliments or searching for the knights anyway.

I like who I am but not what I look like."

I know, and I was not under the impression you were fishing for compliments, and I'm done with being a knight (as much as I still like to feel like one). I was expressing my opinion on your comment.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I was referring only to physical attractiveness.

As for my body, I think it's gross. Others may think differently but it doesn't make my view wrong.

I was about 25 when I had a brainwave - chance are that the other person is just as worried, if not more so, about their own body and performance.

Don;t worry. "

I might have to steal this nugget of wisdom Joe

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

He sounds latently gay...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No. I have met, pulled and slept with exquisite looking men. I don't believe I'm anywhere near the same league as them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Pulling on the internet for sex is nothing like pulling in real life. I haven't pulled in a bar,pub,shopping centre etc for years. I'd be interested to see who does find me attractive enough to date. When it comes to just sex any degree of attractive men contact me,on here and other internet sites that aren't swinging or sex hook up sites. I don't think I'm particularly ugly but I'm nothing special and I definitely do not have a hot body.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I like who I am but not what I look like."

This pretty much sums up me a well.

That and 'it's not them, it must be me'.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Im attracted to people that make me laugh, friendly, nice personality.... its not about looks, its how the people are inside that counts

Saying that, I do like blondes

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

My perceived attractiveness varies a bit but probably linked to health and fitness, associated with how good I'm feeling. Personal knocks from many sources can dent our self esteem, but I aim to keep my self worth based on me, not others and their behavior and whims.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

To answer your question tho AB.

No I don't base my attraction on who i have pulled.

The stage I'm at in life at the moment (this may well change in years to come) I feel confident enough to know my own self worth. I know I'm not a stunner but I'm know not the opposite to that either ~ just somewhere in the middle.

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Yup, like the two posters above, I know what I am worth, and it is not based in how good I look at any given moment in time, let alone how good someone on a sex sites looks! I meet different people for different reasons.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Blimey what a question! I base my attraction on loads of things, age, mood, how many days since I washed my hair, height of shoes, type of underwear, how many men look at me as I walk down the road, what I see in the mirror, what Mr N tells me, how my mum talks about me and always has (she thinks I'm beautiful), the way my daughter talks about me (she thinks I'm beautiful too), compliments or otherwise that I receive.....so many factors. Some days I feel I'm God's gift to mankind

and others I don't

I like this answer, thanks for all that info.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

He sounds latently gay..."

i don't think he is, thought he was comparing himself to other guys or fishing for compliments, but you never know. Anything but what he said makes sense right now lol.

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By *CoastFunMan over a year ago

Southampron

"No not all as I see all sorts."

What Bertie Bassett? I thought you and Haribos had a thing going Shag. They will not be happy you're cheating on them with Bertie

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"the people you've pulled?

Just asking. No slagging people off for being honest, i'm genuinely wanting to know something here. Someone said something to me that didn't make sense but now it made me think of this."

In all honesty I couldn't pinpoint it. Different things attract me. Sometimes I dont even know what it is myself.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

How attractive I feel largely depends on how I feel about myself at that time and my mood.

Some days I'll look in the mirror and think, yeah not too shabby or looking good. Couldn't give a monkies if anyone else agrees with me. I just feel good.

Other days I'll look and think, oh dear! Doesn't matter what Mr B or anyone else says, I'll just feel yuck. Think most people have days like that...

It's always nice when someone you find attractive, wants to meet you. But it doesn't make me feel any better/worse about myself.. Probably haven't explained myself very well but I know what I mean.

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