"The crook nicked the radishes and ran off shouting....
You will never catch me alive coppers but then he.."
fell over the casserole dish that Helen had delicately placed on the doorstep as she fluttered her eyelids at Ricky and |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The crook nicked the radishes and ran off shouting....
You will never catch me alive coppers but then he..
fell over the casserole dish that Helen had delicately placed on the doorstep as she fluttered her eyelids at Ricky and"
The radishes flew out of his hands and landed between the big blushing bossoms of the vicars wife, who just happened to be passing at the time. To which she cried... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The crook nicked the radishes and ran off shouting....
You will never catch me alive coppers but then he..
fell over the casserole dish that Helen had delicately placed on the doorstep as she fluttered her eyelids at Ricky and
The radishes flew out of his hands and landed between the big blushing bossoms of the vicars wife, who just happened to be passing at the time. To which she cried..."
Evening all, now ain't that just a typical man, dropping a bunch of radishes between a pair if milky orbs.
Then suddenly in apparent fit of exuberance she smiled,paused for effect then said "I'm not a typical woman" before....... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lifting up her skirt and revealing a huge bulge. Now everyone knew why the vicar was such a happy chappy, unless he was oblivious to such matters? Who knows, maybe we should ask him coz he's walking up the path right now... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lifting up her skirt and revealing a huge bulge. Now everyone knew why the vicar was such a happy chappy, unless he was oblivious to such matters? Who knows, maybe we should ask him coz he's walking up the path right now..."
with his happy clutch of under age choir boys |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Now Parson Nose was no chicken. He'd served in the war and was at the forefront of the battle of the bulge, but even he would struggle to explain the phenomenon that was Mrs Parson's bulge in her underwear.
Excess hair,a rather large lettuce hanging out of the basket or something more sinister ? It was time to call Constable Plum in on the case. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And the all lived happily ever after!
C...
Apart from the choir boys who's lives were utterly ruined"
Lol, choir boys line made me laugh every time.
But, there is hope in every situation. As the boys grew older they formed their own support group for others like them.
Over the years this group grew so strong that the whole system crumbled, and a new one took it's place. One where all people had hope for a future, a fulfilling one.
There was no such thing as starvation in this future, for everyone was educated to the highest standard and told what was best to put in their bodies, and because every child born in this future felt loved they also loved themselves enough to act accordingly to this education. There was also a good system in place where every person was alloted enough to live off, despite nobody being employed as it was now a technocracy. And the health of the populous was pretty good, both physically and mentally.
Healthy, loved and educated these future people did not feel any need for hate, and those who ultimately slipped through the 'net' were loved unconditionally until they too were like them.
Sometimes they'd learn about history, and it was pretty shocking how people of the past lived. Nobody could quite understand the mentality of those who had lived in another time and place (for the planet was always moving, they could pinpoint any place in the universe now where it had been and travel there, but nobody wanted to because the now was so much better).
Anyway, some of the aliens from a nearby planet decided to come over and see what the Humanes were doing tonight, maybe ask some of them to go dancing?...
ffs my spelling and that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Then... slowly... as if awaking from a dream... the crook came back too after having tripped and hit his head on Helen's ornate concrete toadstool.
"Crikey guv I had myself a right weird dream there about some alien race and a mighty nice world. In fact, strike a light if this old utopian-like vision aint struck me full of moral fibre and made me see the error of my wicked ways"
At which point Helen cried "ffs when is somebody gonna shag me?!?!?"
Then a turnip unexpectedly said... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Then... slowly... as if awaking from a dream... the crook came back too after having tripped and hit his head on Helen's ornate concrete toadstool.
"Crikey guv I had myself a right weird dream there about some alien race and a mighty nice world. In fact, strike a light if this old utopian-like vision aint struck me full of moral fibre and made me see the error of my wicked ways"
At which point Helen cried "ffs when is somebody gonna shag me?!?!?"
Then a turnip unexpectedly said..."
I'll root ya |
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But the turnip was lacking anything phalis shaped so he went on eBay and searched for a massive strap on but all he could find was a old tartan thermos and a large roll of parcel tape which he picked up for the bargain price of £3.67, but as he also didn't have hands let alone arms he had to flag down anyone passing by but the only person he saw was a 6ft cross dressing Chinese man he knew called Barry who was on his way to.............. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But the turnip was lacking anything phalis shaped so he went on eBay and searched for a massive strap on but all he could find was a old tartan thermos and a large roll of parcel tape which he picked up for the bargain price of £3.67, but as he also didn't have hands let alone arms he had to flag down anyone passing by but the only person he saw was a 6ft cross dressing Chinese man he knew called Barry who was on his way to.............."
remind people its the next sentence not the next 7 paragraphs,when suddenly
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