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What is a real man?
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"A man who owns a socket set and knows the difference between bsp and unf.There was me thinking that was some kind of swinging configuration like MMF etc..."
Most boys will try to sweep you off your feet... a man will catch you when you fall.
takes one to know one
wink wink nudge nudge   |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"A man who owns a socket set and knows the difference between bsp and unf.There was me thinking that was some kind of swinging configuration like MMF etc...
Most boys will try to sweep you off your feet... a man will catch you when you fall.
takes one to know one
wink wink nudge nudge "
Nice digest  |
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"A man who owns a socket set and knows the difference between bsp and unf.There was me thinking that was some kind of swinging configuration like MMF etc...
Most boys will try to sweep you off your feet... a man will catch you when you fall.
takes one to know one
wink wink nudge nudge
Nice digest "
hahah *curtsies* lmao
In all seriousness, and i think i'll get alot of people disagreeing with me, but the role of a man in society has been subdued ( men's fault.) So the true identity of the male has been lost somewhat.
Males are providers, females are nurturers, society has set it up so males can only provide under certain terms (glorified slavery) and of course this applies to the working female too.
this becomes the norm and the true shape is lost.
I think gender roles have changed a lot in the past however many years, and has consequently demasculinated men and caused a fair amount of confusion as to what a man 'is'.
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"A man who owns a socket set and knows the difference between bsp and unf.There was me thinking that was some kind of swinging configuration like MMF etc...
Most boys will try to sweep you off your feet... a man will catch you when you fall.
takes one to know one
wink wink nudge nudge
Nice digest
hahah *curtsies* lmao
In all seriousness, and i think i'll get alot of people disagreeing with me, but the role of a man in society has been subdued ( men's fault.) So the true identity of the male has been lost somewhat.
Males are providers, females are nurturers, society has set it up so males can only provide under certain terms (glorified slavery) and of course this applies to the working female too.
this becomes the norm and the true shape is lost.
I think gender roles have changed a lot in the past however many years, and has consequently demasculinated men and caused a fair amount of confusion as to what a man 'is'.
"
I agree with you, joke aside. Roles seem to have changed somewhat and I think it is possibly be more confusing for men than for women espeically when it comes to so-called etiquette e,g, who holds the door open for whom althought that is just an example.
Perhaps we should think of it foremost as what makes a person a real person before delving into what makes a "real" man...or woman.
Think I should withdraw the thread and consider the implications more |
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One who has lived alone for any considerable period of time will obviously give a substantially different answer to one who has been constantly in either one or several different relationships
Sorry I couldn't be arsed to work out where to use apostrophes in this particular post  |
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"A man who owns a socket set and knows the difference between bsp and unf.There was me thinking that was some kind of swinging configuration like MMF etc...
Most boys will try to sweep you off your feet... a man will catch you when you fall.
takes one to know one
wink wink nudge nudge
Nice digest
hahah *curtsies* lmao
In all seriousness, and i think i'll get alot of people disagreeing with me, but the role of a man in society has been subdued ( men's fault.) So the true identity of the male has been lost somewhat.
Males are providers, females are nurturers, society has set it up so males can only provide under certain terms (glorified slavery) and of course this applies to the working female too.
this becomes the norm and the true shape is lost.
I think gender roles have changed a lot in the past however many years, and has consequently demasculinated men and caused a fair amount of confusion as to what a man 'is'.
I agree with you, joke aside. Roles seem to have changed somewhat and I think it is possibly be more confusing for men than for women espeically when it comes to so-called etiquette e,g, who holds the door open for whom althought that is just an example.
Perhaps we should think of it foremost as what makes a person a real person before delving into what makes a "real" man...or woman.
Think I should withdraw the thread and consider the implications more "
hehe oh i could have a great discussion on 'real' lmao it would be long-winded but most enjoyable :D
as for reconsidering the implications... i bow to your wisdom |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think we had this question recently. I can't remember what I said but to me it's one who is laying right next to me.
*catches next train to Ilford  "
Did you see my comment on the thread about verifications? |
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"A man who owns a socket set and knows the difference between bsp and unf.There was me thinking that was some kind of swinging configuration like MMF etc...
Most boys will try to sweep you off your feet... a man will catch you when you fall.
takes one to know one
wink wink nudge nudge
Nice digest
hahah *curtsies* lmao
In all seriousness, and i think i'll get alot of people disagreeing with me, but the role of a man in society has been subdued ( men's fault.) So the true identity of the male has been lost somewhat.
Males are providers, females are nurturers, society has set it up so males can only provide under certain terms (glorified slavery) and of course this applies to the working female too.
this becomes the norm and the true shape is lost.
I think gender roles have changed a lot in the past however many years, and has consequently demasculinated men and caused a fair amount of confusion as to what a man 'is'.
"
You say the 'true' identify of the male is lost.
You say the 'true' shape of society is lost.
What is the true identify of a male and of society.
I'm assuming you are talking this society. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is no definition,and most of the proclaimed ones are from a time in the past, that's probably best left there.
Like it or not, in the modern Western world,we're almost at the stage where men and women are almost asexual in "roles".
Women fly fighter planes,men push buggies with little ones in and so on.
Sure some men find it difficult to adjust to, but so do women who have been told for decades that their place is in the home or similar.
It's simple. Be the best person you can be,and you will subsequently be something better than a man or a woman. You'll be a human and a good one at that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In the past I have been told by two women that I am not a "real" man because I am too nice!
One even told me her last boyfriend was a "real" man because he had hit her. She left me and went back to him!
Strange, but sadly very true  |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
" .
It's simple. Be the best person you can be,and you will subsequently be something better than a man or a woman. You'll be a human and a good one at that."
That is good enough for me!  |
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What is a real man? what is a real woman? what is a real small furry animal??
It's all nonsense! As long as everyone has the bits (whether born or surgically provided) then they are a 'real' whatever!
Why can't people just be people and be happy with who and what they are? If someone else determines that you aren't a 'real' whatever then that's their problem, not yours and they need to get a grip and not try to foist their ideas on to you; after all you could reciprocate and I'm damn sure they wouldn't appreciate the turn-around |
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"Most boys will try to sweep you off your feet... a man will catch you when you fall.
In all seriousness, and i think i'll get alot of people disagreeing with me, but the role of a man in society has been subdued ( men's fault.) So the true identity of the male has been lost somewhat.
Males are providers, females are nurturers, society has set it up so males can only provide under certain terms (glorified slavery) and of course this applies to the working female too.
this becomes the norm and the true shape is lost.
I think gender roles have changed a lot in the past however many years, and has consequently demasculinated men and caused a fair amount of confusion as to what a man 'is'.
"
Well said |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A man who owns a socket set and knows the difference between bsp and unf.There was me thinking that was some kind of swinging configuration like MMF etc...
Most boys will try to sweep you off your feet... a man will catch you when you fall.
takes one to know one
wink wink nudge nudge
Nice digest
hahah *curtsies* lmao
In all seriousness, and i think i'll get alot of people disagreeing with me, but the role of a man in society has been subdued ( men's fault.) So the true identity of the male has been lost somewhat.
Males are providers, females are nurturers, society has set it up so males can only provide under certain terms (glorified slavery) and of course this applies to the working female too.
this becomes the norm and the true shape is lost.
I think gender roles have changed a lot in the past however many years, and has consequently demasculinated men and caused a fair amount of confusion as to what a man 'is'.
"
|
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
"A real man is a man with curves same goes for women too
You're right. Men and women are fake if they ain't fat."
Phew; I am fat; I'll work on getting fatter; my ultimate goal is to be morbidly obese |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A real man is a man with curves same goes for women too
You're right. Men and women are fake if they ain't fat.
Phew; I am fat; I'll work on getting fatter; my ultimate goal is to be morbidly obese "
You will be THE ULTIMATE WOMAN! |
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
"A real man is a man with curves same goes for women too
You're right. Men and women are fake if they ain't fat.
Phew; I am fat; I'll work on getting fatter; my ultimate goal is to be morbidly obese
You will be THE ULTIMATE WOMAN!"
but house-bound with 'feeders' to rely on; never mind; its a small price to pay to be considered 'real' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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They have a "top knot"
They go to the gym and stare at themselves after a workout
They have their eyebrows shaped
They have a beard (because they're "in")
They drive a Prius
|
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By *huramMan
over a year ago
London |
"In the past I have been told by two women that I am not a "real" man because I am too nice!
One even told me her last boyfriend was a "real" man because he had hit her. She left me and went back to him!
Strange, but sadly very true "
You were supposed to find out where they lived.
Kick the front door in, shoot the guy, give her a big kiss and tell her she'll be forever safe in your arms.
(Then elope to a country with no extradition back into the UK.
You just shot someone.) |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"A man who owns a socket set and knows the difference between bsp and unf.There was me thinking that was some kind of swinging configuration like MMF etc...
Most boys will try to sweep you off your feet... a man will catch you when you fall.
takes one to know one
wink wink nudge nudge
Nice digest
hahah *curtsies* lmao
In all seriousness, and i think i'll get alot of people disagreeing with me, but the role of a man in society has been subdued ( men's fault.) So the true identity of the male has been lost somewhat.
Males are providers, females are nurturers, society has set it up so males can only provide under certain terms (glorified slavery) and of course this applies to the working female too.
this becomes the norm and the true shape is lost.
I think gender roles have changed a lot in the past however many years, and has consequently demasculinated men and caused a fair amount of confusion as to what a man 'is'.
"
I'm happy that gender roles are changing and I am not a fan of men who think they have to be The Man.
Men like that often seem to think they need to be in charge all the time and that women are possessions to be controlled and jealously guarded.
I want an equal partner, not an owner; someone who is happy for me to be the capable person I am and values me for it. I don't want anyone who thinks I'm weak or feeble or that there are 'man's jobs' that are their responsibility and I shouldn't be allowed to do (if I want to).
I appreciate good manners and men that will protect women where necessary but I prefer it if it's done from respect and consideration than from thinking of women as weaker and in need of a man.
I want to be with a man because I want to be with him, not merely because I need him.
I also don't appreciate men who think it's a woman's role to look after them and do all the housework.
I think men should be able to take care of themselves just as much as women should.
People should want to be together for who their partner is, not what they can do for them.
A real man is one that exists in reality. Any man is equally as real as the next man. They shouldn't have to fit into some mould dictated by society.
Body builder, mechanic, ballet dancer or hairdresser, it makes no difference to me. |
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"They have a "top knot"
They go to the gym and stare at themselves after a workout
They have their eyebrows shaped
They have a beard (because they're "in")
They drive a Prius
"
You forgot the meaningless tattoos all up their arms, the beard is worthless without them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A man who owns a socket set and knows the difference between bsp and unf."
But- but- but- I own a socket set, and I learned the difference between British Standard Pipe and Unified National FIne when I was only 10 years old....
and I know the difference between a No 1 and a Plug tap...
and the difference between a flat file and a hand file...
... oh dear - something's gone terribly, terribly wrong...
..... breaks down into floods of tears and rushes off to bake cupcakes...
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is the definition of a real man set in stone?
I hunt, fish, fix cars, build random engineering projects, perform DIY tasks, look at hot women and occasionally skip a shower. But I'm also a single father of 3 kids so I also carry out the of mum, so washing, cooking, cleaning and everything else.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Will let you know once I find one
Seriously though who knows we all have our likes and dislikes and preferences as to how a man looks in our eyes...I guess for me My Dad is a real man.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ooh I haven't been in this thread since my flippant comment near the beginning. There have been a lot of really good posts. The question who am I has been a really important question for me for the last 20 odd years and has helped me to redefine what I do and and at times what I value, as I have discovered more about myself. That has meant that my definition of what it meant be a man became less relevant as I endeavoured to discover who I really am |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They have a "top knot"
They go to the gym and stare at themselves after a workout
They have their eyebrows shaped
They have a beard (because they're "in")
They drive a Prius
You forgot the meaningless tattoos all up their arms, the beard is worthless without them "
But tattoos don't need meaning.
That's too Miami Ink for me |
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"Is the definition of a real man set in stone?
I hunt, fish, fix cars, build random engineering projects, perform DIY tasks, look at hot women and occasionally skip a shower. But I'm also a single father of 3 kids so I also carry out the of mum, so washing, cooking, cleaning and everything else...."
Shit. You are my dad reincarnated. |
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"Males are providers, females are nurturers"
Because of course you can sum up the wants and desires of billions of people in six words.
Rigid gender roles like that are what make men unhappy, not being 'demasculised' |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
Wondering if a real man is a man who does not actually woryy about other people's perception of him but follows his own path and values?
Not a follower of any which fashion (nothing wrong with dressing well), not a complete gym addict (nothing wrong with being fit though), not somebody who needs to shout about how "manly" he is but perhaps just a male human being who is happy to be an equal to a woman, supports her as he would expect her to support him in times of need.
I think they do exist - I consider myself fortunate to have somebody like this in my life. |
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"Ooh I haven't been in this thread since my flippant comment near the beginning. There have been a lot of really good posts. The question who am I has been a really important question for me for the last 20 odd years and has helped me to redefine what I do and and at times what I value, as I have discovered more about myself. That has meant that my definition of what it meant be a man became less relevant as I endeavoured to discover who I really am"
Nah Doc, it just means yer getting old like the rest of us codgers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ooh I haven't been in this thread since my flippant comment near the beginning. There have been a lot of really good posts. The question who am I has been a really important question for me for the last 20 odd years and has helped me to redefine what I do and and at times what I value, as I have discovered more about myself. That has meant that my definition of what it meant be a man became less relevant as I endeavoured to discover who I really am
Nah Doc, it just means yer getting old like the rest of us codgers "
Very true #OldCodgers&Farts'R'Us |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So the true identity of the male has been lost somewhat.
Males are providers, females are nurturers
"
Well shit. I didn't get that memo. Does that mean I have to pop out some babies and quit my job in case some people think I'm a man? |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"So the true identity of the male has been lost somewhat.
Males are providers, females are nurturers
Well shit. I didn't get that memo. Does that mean I have to pop out some babies and quit my job in case some people think I'm a man?"
Don't think so. It is not a "must" or any other categoric imperative - just how nature evolved making women the child bearers and men the hunters - for now. Who knows where evolution will take mankind in a few hundred or thousand years. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm gonna be making an attempt to repair the garden fence later today.
Success will add to my manliness, virility and overall testosterone fuelled sex appeal.
Failure, and I'll have to buy a handbag and purse. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm gonna be making an attempt to repair the garden fence later today.
Success will add to my manliness, virility and overall testosterone fuelled sex appeal.
Failure, and I'll have to buy a handbag and purse."
I've mended fences,unblocked toilets,changed car batteries,painted doors and I only have one handbag out of necessity. It's good to not conform |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm gonna be making an attempt to repair the garden fence later today.
Success will add to my manliness, virility and overall testosterone fuelled sex appeal.
Failure, and I'll have to buy a handbag and purse.
I've mended fences,unblocked toilets,changed car batteries,painted doors and I only have one handbag out of necessity. It's good to not conform "
It its a handbag full of gnarled, well used, grease stained tools then its a MANbag |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A real man if there is such a thing is
Compassionate, strong , confident , kind, witty , articulate, tender , gentle, passionate, have self belief and must be a gentleman .
This is what the Pooch says |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"A real man if there is such a thing is
Compassionate, strong , confident , kind, witty , articulate, tender , gentle, passionate, have self belief and must be a gentleman .
This is what the Pooch says "
I would agree and add that except for the "gentleman" bit at the end this is also true for a "real" woman - so perhaps we are not all that different after all? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A real man if there is such a thing is
Compassionate, strong , confident , kind, witty , articulate, tender , gentle, passionate, have self belief and must be a gentleman .
This is what the Pooch says
I would agree and add that except for the "gentleman" bit at the end this is also true for a "real" woman - so perhaps we are not all that different after all? "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A real man if there is such a thing is
Compassionate, strong , confident , kind, witty , articulate, tender , gentle, passionate, have self belief and must be a gentleman .
This is what the Pooch says
I would agree and add that except for the "gentleman" bit at the end this is also true for a "real" woman - so perhaps we are not all that different after all? "
I'm not sure 'real' people have to be any of those things to be honest.
I'm not particularly compassionate, or strong, or confident. Some people say I'm not very kind, others say I'm not witty. I don't really believe in myself either. I'm not particularly gentle and I wouldn't label myself as passionate.
Articulate though... I'm pretty articulate.
But I'm still real. And so is my partner who also don't have most of those qualities according to most people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So the true identity of the male has been lost somewhat.
Males are providers, females are nurturers
Well shit. I didn't get that memo. Does that mean I have to pop out some babies and quit my job in case some people think I'm a man?"
Who unchained you from the sink? |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"A real man if there is such a thing is
Compassionate, strong , confident , kind, witty , articulate, tender , gentle, passionate, have self belief and must be a gentleman .
This is what the Pooch says
I would agree and add that except for the "gentleman" bit at the end this is also true for a "real" woman - so perhaps we are not all that different after all?
I'm not sure 'real' people have to be any of those things to be honest.
I'm not particularly compassionate, or strong, or confident. Some people say I'm not very kind, others say I'm not witty. I don't really believe in myself either. I'm not particularly gentle and I wouldn't label myself as passionate.
Articulate though... I'm pretty articulate.
But I'm still real. And so is my partner who also don't have most of those qualities according to most people."
Actually you made me think about what I said earlier and perhaps what I said says more about my own values rather than a general definition.
Maybe therein lies the key? Maybe we do define a "real" man or woman in terms of our very own set of values which has more to do with our upbringing and social context than about an "absolute" kind of concept. |
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"A real man if there is such a thing is
Compassionate, strong , confident , kind, witty , articulate, tender , gentle, passionate, have self belief and must be a gentleman .
This is what the Pooch says
I would agree and add that except for the "gentleman" bit at the end this is also true for a "real" woman - so perhaps we are not all that different after all?
I'm not sure 'real' people have to be any of those things to be honest.
I'm not particularly compassionate, or strong, or confident. Some people say I'm not very kind, others say I'm not witty. I don't really believe in myself either. I'm not particularly gentle and I wouldn't label myself as passionate.
Articulate though... I'm pretty articulate.
But I'm still real. And so is my partner who also don't have most of those qualities according to most people.Actually you made me think about what I said earlier and perhaps what I said says more about my own values rather than a general definition.
Maybe therein lies the key? Maybe we do define a "real" man or woman in terms of our very own set of values which has more to do with our upbringing and social context than about an "absolute" kind of concept."
Definitely. Plus, this changes depending on social and media based drives. For sanity's sake, your best bet is to only take notice in small doses! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh it's a silly term made to belittle others
Just as real women have curves ,belittles every other woman that does not fit that subjective ideal"
Exactly.
'Real men treat women like X', 'real women have curves', 'real men know how to fix a car', 'real women have a vagina'.
All those nasty little things that people say that actually just affirm their own life choices and put down everyone else in the process.
Real men are humans that identify as men.
Real women are humans that identify as women.
And you don't even have to be a woman or a man if you don't want to. |
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