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Waster Limitation.....
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So many threads screaming about how often they are let down.
How does a potential meet get your confidence that will make you venture out or let them in ?
What do they do that make you believe they are more than likely to turn up?
Do you have a Plan B ?
Give the ranters some sound advice. |
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Good old but instinct, nine years on here never had a cancellation or no show ( have had rescheduling from guys I know).
Think I'm pretty astute.
But to be honest if someone didn't turn up I wouldn't be that bothered as I meet at home and wouldn't of gone out of my way.
When my son was at home I did always have a plan as my free time was limited in those days and I wanted to make the most of it.
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I use but instinct too! 
Sorry Diamond... couldn't resist!
I waste a lot of their time chatting first so if they've stuck around long enough to hear the shite I blether about I can pretty much guarantee they'll turn up.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I use but instinct too!
Sorry Diamond... couldn't resist!
I waste a lot of their time chatting first so if they've stuck around long enough to hear the shite I blether about I can pretty much guarantee they'll turn up. "
It's why I never turned up 
Oh come on there must be signs....going quieter,avoiding certain details and specifics etc? |
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"I use but instinct too!
Sorry Diamond... couldn't resist!
I waste a lot of their time chatting first so if they've stuck around long enough to hear the shite I blether about I can pretty much guarantee they'll turn up.
It's why I never turned up
Oh come on there must be signs....going quieter,avoiding certain details and specifics etc? "
I slipped you into the radio show stalker bracket. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Never had a no show. Used my instincts to get a sense of people. Used my common sense and judgement with regards to reading profiles. Never exchanged explicit pics or chat. Social meet only first, unless arranging to meet in a club. My game, my rules or bye bye. Might sound a bit harsh, but I was looking to meet straightforward people like me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Never had a no show but I insist on social in a coffee shop first that way it's no biggie. etc
I haven't had that many sex meets though but I think it's instinct etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm new and not verified yet so I guess people will naturally be a little more cautious of me.
I had a meet planned (social only) and that was cancelled by the other party about 4 days before hand. They had their reasons and no hard feelings from me.
As for me I'd be looking for a social, if it was a no show I'd just look like Nobby no mates in the coffee shop, and then probably treat myself to a second muffin before going home. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had a few no shows over the years, it used to bother me but now it doesn't. If they let me know before hand I'll happily reschedule, if they simply don't show up I just block and move on.
I never have a plan b, personally I'd feel a bit disrespected if someone asked me to be a back up, so I'd never ask someone to be.
Nowadays I tend to meet socially first because I enjoy the company of women (not enough female engineers unfortunately), if it leads to sex then great. If not, I'll still have a laugh. |
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It might well be different for single women, but as an experienced couple, six years on this site, looking for single guys. Believe me, you can be as astute as you like, have finely honed instincts, common sense in abundance, there are timewasters out there. Fantasists who have no intention of meeting.
Most can be smoked out of course, but there are exceptions
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Git instinct and being realistic are what I use. If I exchange numbers, the chat moves to the phone, or I will have a chat on the phone - any avoiding tactics by the other party will give me doubts.
I always like a social too, I haven't always done them, but I do like them, no pressure, no expectations - all this seems to wrk for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Gut feeling.
I always have a plan B.
No angst whatsoever.  "
Same here , we never go out without a plan B .
Never had a bad night nor a reason to feel let down |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I never have a plan b, personally I'd feel a bit disrespected if someone asked me to be a back up, so I'd never ask someone to be.
"
 exactly. It's like a 'sigh, ok we'll reluctantly meet you but only because we couldn't find any better'. I wouldn't do that to anyone and wouldn't (knowingly) want to be the reserve. But I guess there's ways and means of keeping the reserve in reserve without them actively knowing it! |
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"
I never have a plan b, personally I'd feel a bit disrespected if someone asked me to be a back up, so I'd never ask someone to be.
exactly. It's like a 'sigh, ok we'll reluctantly meet you but only because we couldn't find any better'. I wouldn't do that to anyone and wouldn't (knowingly) want to be the reserve. But I guess there's ways and means of keeping the reserve in reserve without them actively knowing it!"
lol your plans doesn't have to be sex related, mine was always making sure I had something else to do instead of wasting my limited spare time
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"I've had a few no shows over the years, it used to bother me but now it doesn't. If they let me know before hand I'll happily reschedule, if they simply don't show up I just block and move on.
I never have a plan b, personally I'd feel a bit disrespected if someone asked me to be a back up, so I'd never ask someone to be.
Nowadays I tend to meet socially first because I enjoy the company of women (not enough female engineers unfortunately), if it leads to sex then great. If not, I'll still have a laugh."
Your plan B and mine are totally different.
I wouldn't dream of saying ' Can you fuck me if so and so can't ?'
Plan B is just ...... knowing what else you are going to do in the event of a no show for what ever reason.
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"
I never have a plan b, personally I'd feel a bit disrespected if someone asked me to be a back up, so I'd never ask someone to be.
exactly. It's like a 'sigh, ok we'll reluctantly meet you but only because we couldn't find any better'. I wouldn't do that to anyone and wouldn't (knowingly) want to be the reserve. But I guess there's ways and means of keeping the reserve in reserve without them actively knowing it!lol your plans doesn't have to be sex related, mine was always making sure I had something else to do instead of wasting my limited spare time
"
Precisely. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I never have a plan b, personally I'd feel a bit disrespected if someone asked me to be a back up, so I'd never ask someone to be.
exactly. It's like a 'sigh, ok we'll reluctantly meet you but only because we couldn't find any better'. I wouldn't do that to anyone and wouldn't (knowingly) want to be the reserve. But I guess there's ways and means of keeping the reserve in reserve without them actively knowing it!"
Plan B is never a substitute for plan A .
Some of our best meets have been totally spontaneous when someone hasn't shown up ...and I'm sure there will be plenty more to come .
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I've never had a no show but I expect someone to be decisive, enthusiastic and keep in touch. If there's humming and ha'ing at any point my antenna twitch and I postpone before they do. If they don't keep in touch on the day I won't even get in the shower!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Been let down twice by the same guy. Thought our gut instinct was right about him. Live and learn. He didn't get a third chance. Mailed a few weeks ago looking for coffee with just kitty. Was swiftly told where to go.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always have a plan B, often tell guys i'm chatting to that i've got a meet already and several of them offer to come up if he doesn't turn up.
http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/support/416732 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I arrange my meets in such a way that a no-show doesn't end up being a waste of my limited free time. I can just go and do something else I like if they don't show up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been let down twice by the same guy. Thought our gut instinct was right about him. Live and learn. He didn't get a third chance. Mailed a few weeks ago looking for coffee with just kitty. Was swiftly told where to go. "
If someone let me down twice, they wouldn't still be able to mail me. But that's just me – each to their own. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had a few no shows over the years, it used to bother me but now it doesn't. If they let me know before hand I'll happily reschedule, if they simply don't show up I just block and move on.
I never have a plan b, personally I'd feel a bit disrespected if someone asked me to be a back up, so I'd never ask someone to be.
Nowadays I tend to meet socially first because I enjoy the company of women (not enough female engineers unfortunately), if it leads to sex then great. If not, I'll still have a laugh.
Your plan B and mine are totally different.
I wouldn't dream of saying ' Can you fuck me if so and so can't ?'
Plan B is just ...... knowing what else you are going to do in the event of a no show for what ever reason.
"
My plan B involves coffee and cake. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A no show would piss me off no matter if I had a plan b ir whatever. That's if they just didn't turn up. If they said beforehand I wouldn't be bothered at all. But like most things in life I get over things quickly so even in a no show scenario I wouldn't be pissed off for too long. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
I've had people fail to turn up for social meets but as I arrange them somewhere I can do other things then I just write them off.
In the very dim and distant past someone I used to meet regularly failed to show up and I couldn't get hold of him. When he did call he admitted to falling asleep. I'm that sexually exciting.
My tips are:
1) get to know the person a bit beforehand (although there is only what they choose to tell you)
2) speak to them
3) confirm the day before and on the day
4) if they don't respond don't go and wait for them.
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I have never had a cancellation either and was shocked that this happens ... when Mr told me it had happened to him, especially with couples. I told him be more ruthless (as a single guy). I think its about gut instinct too. Now we go to parties, so its never really set in stone, be nice to meet up, you know where we are, or where we will be, then its no skin off our nose if you dont come for whatever reason, as there are plenty of other people there. |
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