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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
I realise that one cannot dictate the content of a thread but I want to be clear that it's not my intention to persecute those who choose to have unprotected sex. That is their choice. Please no bareback bashing! 
I'm a worrier. I wouldn't play bareback because I am concerned about the risks. It's not for me to judge others, I'm not interested in blocking people for their choices but I'm curious as to how you square off the risks in your heads if you play bareback with multiple partners?
Some STIs are not visible so whilst someone says they are disease free how do you know they are being honest? What if they don't know they have an infection...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I realise that one cannot dictate the content of a thread but I want to be clear that it's not my intention to persecute those who choose to have unprotected sex. That is their choice. Please no bareback bashing!
I'm a worrier. I wouldn't play bareback because I am concerned about the risks. It's not for me to judge others, I'm not interested in blocking people for their choices but I'm curious as to how you square off the risks in your heads if you play bareback with multiple partners?
Some STIs are not visible so whilst someone says they are disease free how do you know they are being honest? What if they don't know they have an infection...
"
Because I'm a virgin |
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"I realise that one cannot dictate the content of a thread but I want to be clear that it's not my intention to persecute those who choose to have unprotected sex. That is their choice. Please no bareback bashing!
I'm a worrier. I wouldn't play bareback because I am concerned about the risks. It's not for me to judge others, I'm not interested in blocking people for their choices but I'm curious as to how you square off the risks in your heads if you play bareback with multiple partners?
Some STIs are not visible so whilst someone says they are disease free how do you know they are being honest? What if they don't know they have an infection...
Because I'm a virgin "
Me too  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I realise that one cannot dictate the content of a thread but I want to be clear that it's not my intention to persecute those who choose to have unprotected sex. That is their choice. Please no bareback bashing!
I'm a worrier. I wouldn't play bareback because I am concerned about the risks. It's not for me to judge others, I'm not interested in blocking people for their choices but I'm curious as to how you square off the risks in your heads if you play bareback with multiple partners?
Some STIs are not visible so whilst someone says they are disease free how do you know they are being honest? What if they don't know they have an infection...
Because I'm a virgin
Me too "
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I suppose like the person who overtook us on their motorbike today travelling at approximately 110 to 120 mph and narrowly missed our wing mirror with their head, they take the consequences if and when they arise. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
We take risks all the time. When we cross the road, when we travel, even when we eat! We evaluate those risks to see if they are worth taking. Some people obviously believe BB is worth the risk. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good question OP.
The same could be said for having oral sex without a condom. I also wonder if people that always use condoms ever worry.
I think some people think you can see sti's. If it's not green it's ok. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Good question OP.
The same could be said for having oral sex without a condom. I also wonder if people that always use condoms ever worry.
I think some people think you can see sti's. If it's not green it's ok. "
Blue waffle  |
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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
"I suppose like the person who overtook us on their motorbike today travelling at approximately 110 to 120 mph and narrowly missed our wing mirror with their head, they take the consequences if and when they arise."
Yup... that's very true indeed. I think that's a more visible/calculated risk though... well in my head it is. To an extent. We never know when someone else is going to pull out in front of us etc. but I feel like I'm at least in control of my car.
"We take risks all the time. When we cross the road, when we travel, even when we eat! We evaluate those risks to see if they are worth taking. Some people obviously believe BB is worth the risk."
Good point. I guess evaluating that there's no traffic when we cross the road is again visible. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your question can be widened to all those who partake in this lifestyle, regardless of how they choose to play.
Many would view multiple partners as a high risk activity, far riskier than monogamy or abstinence.
Does a selective bareback meet with someone you've socialised with have more or less risk than 15 random club goer gangbang with safer play?
It becomes a matter of perspective and risk appetite, surely? |
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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
"Good question OP.
The same could be said for having oral sex without a condom. I also wonder if people that always use condoms ever worry.
I think some people think you can see sti's. If it's not green it's ok. "
Of course. I'm almost positive I've never used a condom when dishing out a blow job and I'm aware there's still a risk albeit a lesser one. Another good point. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We can take risks so long as we're prepared to deal with the consequences of them. Weigh up the pros and cons of taking risks and decide off of that.
Worst case scenario for me is getting pregnant, i try to lessen that risk. Most STDs can be cured, but not all. You have to live with the choices you make, and yes not everyone shows symptoms or knows what they've got. |
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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
"Your question can be widened to all those who partake in this lifestyle, regardless of how they choose to play.
Many would view multiple partners as a high risk activity, far riskier than monogamy or abstinence.
Does a selective bareback meet with someone you've socialised with have more or less risk than 15 random club goer gangbang with safer play?
It becomes a matter of perspective and risk appetite, surely?"
Yup... multiple partners increases the risk compared to monogamy or abstinence obviously but to lessen the risk further some of us choose to use protection. Nothing is foolproof but if you drive a car you wear a seatbelt to lessen the risk in case of an accident. It's not a guarantee of your safety though. |
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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
"We can take risks so long as we're prepared to deal with the consequences of them. Weigh up the pros and cons of taking risks and decide off of that.
Worst case scenario for me is getting pregnant, i try to lessen that risk. Most STDs can be cured, but not all. You have to live with the choices you make, and yes not everyone shows symptoms or knows what they've got."
Really? Pregnancy is your worst case scenario? What about HIV? Surely an unwanted pregnancy is fixable? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We can take risks so long as we're prepared to deal with the consequences of them. Weigh up the pros and cons of taking risks and decide off of that.
Worst case scenario for me is getting pregnant, i try to lessen that risk. Most STDs can be cured, but not all. You have to live with the choices you make, and yes not everyone shows symptoms or knows what they've got.
Really? Pregnancy is your worst case scenario? What about HIV? Surely an unwanted pregnancy is fixable?"
HIV is manageable, but would restrict my sex life. A baby takes away 18 years of my life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What about STD's that just need skin contact to infect someone, You could have sex with someone and catch something but it wont show up for weeks then go to a few clubs and potentially pass it on to a lot of people,
There is always a risk having sex |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It may be that some of those who play bare only do so with people they have known for some time and have built up a trust. You are right it's a risk but as others have said there is a risk in every day life whether it be crossing the road, riding a motorcycle etc. |
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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
"It may be that some of those who play bare only do so with people they have known for some time and have built up a trust. You are right it's a risk but as others have said there is a risk in every day life whether it be crossing the road, riding a motorcycle etc."
Would you cross the road without looking both ways or ride a motorcycle without a helmet though? |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"What about STD's that just need skin contact to infect someone, You could have sex with someone and catch something but it wont show up for weeks then go to a few clubs and potentially pass it on to a lot of people,
There is always a risk having sex"
Scabies!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What about STD's that just need skin contact to infect someone, You could have sex with someone and catch something but it wont show up for weeks then go to a few clubs and potentially pass it on to a lot of people,
There is always a risk having sex
Scabies!! "
Herpes/Molluscum Contagiosum/Genital warts |
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By *urgyeMan
over a year ago
southampton and ealing |
Reference has been made on this thread or another to a husband watching his wife be screwed by 17 different blokes, one after the other and all unprotected. The mind boggles. It just wants one of those bare back riders to be infected, and not just those there but all subsequently could well catch something. As far as I am aware, H I V can lay hidden and unsuspected for years, so to those taking part, I think are acting irresponsibly, not only to themselves but to ALL those subsequently engaging in unprotected sex. And how things have changed. I can remember the first tombstone TV adverts re AIDS, and the Thatcher government were quite worried re what people would think, and that spinsters in ( some east coast town ) would get upset re the mention of condoms. They must have died of heart attacks by now with what is said and shown in the media!. And why not, life is for living, responsibly that is, especially to others. |
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By *urgyeMan
over a year ago
southampton and ealing |
"What about STD's that just need skin contact to infect someone, You could have sex with someone and catch something but it wont show up for weeks then go to a few clubs and potentially pass it on to a lot of people,
There is always a risk having sex"
exactly and which is the real reason for no sex outside marriage in the Jewish and Islamic religions, but their punishments are too harsh ( stoning to death ) which the Islamists still carry out. They overlook whereas medicine and treatments have moved on, they haven't. Stuck with a man-made ideology thousands of years out of date. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The question still outstanding is do people that bareback worry about catching something? Or does the fun outweigh the risks? More testing, less worry or just not worry till it happens?
I think it seems to be the latter. |
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By *D40Couple
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"The question still outstanding is do people that bareback worry about catching something? Or does the fun outweigh the risks? More testing, less worry or just not worry till it happens?
I think it seems to be the latter."
I dont bb & never will (obviously my partner & i of 3 1/2 years do not use condoms) as its dangerous & irresponsible. For the sake of a fuck i would not risk disease that at the worst could have me thoroughly embarassed at the GUM clinic or potentially with a death sentence!
How on earth could you justify the risks when thinking you may end up having to prepare loved ones for your funeral?
Mrs _d40 |
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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago
Wakefield |
"
I'm a worrier. I wouldn't play bareback because I am concerned about the risks. It's not for me to judge others, I'm not interested in blocking people for their choices but I'm curious as to how you square off the risks in your heads if you play bareback with multiple partners?
Some STIs are not visible so whilst someone says they are disease free how do you know they are being honest? What if they don't know they have an infection...
"
We do not worry so much about those who play bareback (the choice and the risks are obvious there) so much as those who claim to play safe yet do not use condoms when giving or receiving oral.
In a similar vein many will finger one person then a second without changing protection or washing.
Other people do not seem to realise that things they do for “hygiene reasons” are actually dangerous and could lead to the spreading of STDs including HIV. These practices include shaving pubic hair, douching before sex (both anal and vaginal).
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Male of the couple here we meet when we have time,which is rare. We decided from the start we would bare back just something we enjoy. We know the risks, but life is a risk itself. Given the chance we would happily have a bareback gang bang |
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There is medication being used by HIV negative people that has really high prevention rates against HIV infection. Not available from the NHS but can be obtained. It does offer another risk mitigating approach that some are using. |
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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
"This is going to be one of those debates that will never end, both sides bashing or defending what they do.
Personally it is not for me, but each to their own.
"
It's definitely not intended to be a bashing thread... I'm just genuinely curious as to the thought process. We're (mostly)  grown ups and are entitled to make our own choices. I'd like to get my head round it but I can't because there doesn't appear to be a reduction of risk in any explainable way. Seems a bit of a lottery and you just have to hope that people are honest when they say they're clean. I can't trust that alone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm the same as you about bareback I won't do it.
If others do it's their body and their choice and more importantly their risk.
Maybe people who bareback like the risk but it's obvious if you take a risk often enough it will bite you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Currently I only BB with my fwb who I met off the site. She is divorced and had only ever had sex with her ex...and not any at all for 4 years.
We both went for a STI check before taking it to that level.
With random partners from here my own choice is to cover up...... But I will not judge others.
To be fair this thread seems to have maintained its sanity far better than previous ones!
Well done all participants so far! |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"This is going to be one of those debates that will never end, both sides bashing or defending what they do.
Personally it is not for me, but each to their own.
It's definitely not intended to be a bashing thread... I'm just genuinely curious as to the thought process. We're (mostly) grown ups and are entitled to make our own choices. I'd like to get my head round it but I can't because there doesn't appear to be a reduction of risk in any explainable way. Seems a bit of a lottery and you just have to hope that people are honest when they say they're clean. I can't trust that alone. "
Then don't meet. I don't mean to be abrupt, but the only 100% safe sex is no sex. If you can get pregnant when not even penetrated (rare but it happens) then you can get STIs from fingers and tongues.
There has to be an element of trust in swinging and having sex with relative strangers. You are in a very vulnerable position even before you take your clothes off, so if this is preying on your mind to the extent you are second guessing the motives of the people you meet, it's time to stop. |
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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
"This is going to be one of those debates that will never end, both sides bashing or defending what they do.
Personally it is not for me, but each to their own.
It's definitely not intended to be a bashing thread... I'm just genuinely curious as to the thought process. We're (mostly) grown ups and are entitled to make our own choices. I'd like to get my head round it but I can't because there doesn't appear to be a reduction of risk in any explainable way. Seems a bit of a lottery and you just have to hope that people are honest when they say they're clean. I can't trust that alone.
Then don't meet. I don't mean to be abrupt, but the only 100% safe sex is no sex. If you can get pregnant when not even penetrated (rare but it happens) then you can get STIs from fingers and tongues.
There has to be an element of trust in swinging and having sex with relative strangers. You are in a very vulnerable position even before you take your clothes off, so if this is preying on your mind to the extent you are second guessing the motives of the people you meet, it's time to stop."
This is purely me poking into other people's thought process. I'm entirely comfortable in the way I swing. I'm assuming that those who choose to play bareback are also comfortable in the way they choose to swing.
As you say the only sure way is not to have sex. I'm well aware that STIs can be transmitted skin to skin etc. I'm happy to minimise that risk as much as I possibly can.
I wouldn't get on a motorbike without a helmet. It doesn't guarantee I'm not going to die but it reduces the risk. I'd still get on a motorbike.
That makes sense in my head. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What about swinging with a motorbike helmet on?
Truth is you can see the risks you take on other activities....motorbikes, skydiving etc....you can't with sti's and you're probably driven by lust at times which doesn't always work alongside common sense in the sex world. Only people who brush aside risks wouldn't be safe. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've seen plenty of people using condoms in clubs but never seen anyone use a dental dam. The use of such is advised by my local clinic but I've never used one when playing f/f. I guess it's about what we consider to be personal levels of acceptable risk. However, I do think a large number of people kid themselves that they play safe because they use a condom yet choose to ignore all the tongues and hands. |
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"I've seen plenty of people using condoms in clubs but never seen anyone use a dental dam. The use of such is advised by my local clinic but I've never used one when playing f/f. I guess it's about what we consider to be personal levels of acceptable risk. However, I do think a large number of people kid themselves that they play safe because they use a condom yet choose to ignore all the tongues and hands."
And toys, people seem to think that women can't pass stis to other women. |
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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
"I've seen plenty of people using condoms in clubs but never seen anyone use a dental dam. The use of such is advised by my local clinic but I've never used one when playing f/f. I guess it's about what we consider to be personal levels of acceptable risk. However, I do think a large number of people kid themselves that they play safe because they use a condom yet choose to ignore all the tongues and hands.
And toys, people seem to think that women can't pass stis to other women."
Yup... that's another good point.
Thanks for all your input. Happy that we've managed to discuss it in a cheery way. x |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"What about STD's that just need skin contact to infect someone, You could have sex with someone and catch something but it wont show up for weeks then go to a few clubs and potentially pass it on to a lot of people,
There is always a risk having sex
Scabies!! "
Hahah I can remember scabies doing the rounds when I was a student - as far as I remember, you only have to be on infected bedsheets to get it, if I remember rightly there was a suitably nasty shampoo/soap you had to use.... |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"What about STD's that just need skin contact to infect someone, You could have sex with someone and catch something but it wont show up for weeks then go to a few clubs and potentially pass it on to a lot of people,
There is always a risk having sex
Scabies!!
Herpes/Molluscum Contagiosum/Genital warts"
All increased with shaving and waxing. Will people stop doing that too?
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
What do you do when the condom breaks?
How many have the safe sex, do you have or have you ever had a STI conversation?
In the five years I have been doing this I have only been asked once and I have only asked twice. I have had condoms break. I perform oral without condoms (and no oral for the randoms in clubs) and I have only ever offered one person a dental dam to use on me.
I know how often I get tested and know I am taking a calculated risk.
Anyone fancy some risky sex (using a condom) with me after reading that?
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