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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As good as this bar is" said the Scotsman "I still prefer the pubs back home In Glasgow. There's a wee place called McTavish's.
The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth drink.”
"Well, Angus," said the Englishman, "At my local in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two.”
"Ahhh, dat's nothin'," said Paddy Sheehan, the Irishman.
"Back home in me favourite pub in Galway, the moment you set foot in the place, they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like, actually.
Then, when you've had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see dat you get laid. All on the House!”
The Englishman and Scotsman were suspicious of the claims, asking "Did this actually happen to you?"
"Not meself personally, no," admitted the Irishman, "but it did happen to me sister quite a few times."
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By *ty31Man
over a year ago
NW London |
Can't beat a good English, Irish, Scottish joke:
An octopus walks into a bar where an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are drinking and says loudly I bet anyone in here £50 that I can play any musical instrument better than they can.
Come on then says the Englishman and gives the octopus a guitar. The octopus proceeds to play it better than Hendrix, the Englishman gives him the money and goes to cry into his beer.
I'll take you on says the Irishman and sits the Octopus at a piano. The octopus plays it better than Elton. The Irishman pays up and goes to cry into his guinness.
Alright laddie says the Scotsman and hands the octopus a set of bagpipes. After ten minutes the octopus is rolling around the floor with the bagpipes not producing a note. Do ya give in laddie says the Scotsman smiling. Give in says the octopus, why when I get her pajamas off I'm going to fuck her brains out!!
Ok,
Why doesn't Santa have any kids?
He only comes once a year and its always down the chimney!
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