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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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dom and sub..WHAT THE FUCK!!!
DONT GET IT sounds like abuse to me?
we are all aware that there's guys out there that convince there Mrs that swinging is cool for (us)..thats not cool and for genuine swingers who know what there doing its not a problem...but what is this new disguise that a controlling person is able to use under a new category and how is this over looked?why describe yourself as sub or dom? is a cuckold man sub or dom?surely he has put himself in that position?who is sub and who is dom.yet when a cpl proclaim themselves as dom and sub,how come its never the guy who is dom?guys that do that would say they are cuckold and be done with it...im wondering if theres a lot of abuse out there,and because us swingers have had to change with the times,we dont see that or even feel its an issue?????? |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
I think that explaining Sub/Dom and BDSM etc to those who don't understand or like it, is probably a bit like trying to explain the concept of swinging to those who don't like or understand the idea.
It's about different strokes for different folks... no pun intended!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think that explaining Sub/Dom and BDSM etc to those who don't understand or like it, is probably a bit like trying to explain the concept of swinging to those who don't like or understand the idea.
It's about different strokes for different folks... no pun intended! "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sub and dom is the same as cuckold, some like to be degraded more than others lol.
Cuckold is NOT sub. Sorry"
Isn't the cuckold the submissive partner then?. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hello my name is Bike Monkey and I get sexual gratification from spanking and flogging women. So then OP tell me what's so wrong about that but so normal about fucking other people? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
"Hello my name is Bike Monkey and I get sexual gratification from spanking and flogging women. So then OP tell me what's so wrong about that but so normal about fucking other people? "
Do you?
I'm shocked  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hello my name is Bike Monkey and I get sexual gratification from spanking and flogging women. So then OP tell me what's so wrong about that but so normal about fucking other people?
Do you?
I'm shocked "
Even worse I go to swinging socials and find new recipients. I suspect in the OP's world that makes me a ppredator as well as an abuser |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hello my name is Bike Monkey and I get sexual gratification from spanking and flogging women. So then OP tell me what's so wrong about that but so normal about fucking other people?
Do you?
I'm shocked
Even worse I go to swinging socials and find new recipients. I suspect in the OP's world that makes me a ppredator as well as an abuser"
You bad man.
(Meet you behind the bike sheds?) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This will be interesting!unlocks the manacles and kicks off the heels waits for the party to start  "
Hooe you have a young man slave to rub your feet for you |
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"dom and sub..WHAT THE FUCK!!!
DONT GET IT sounds like abuse to me?
we are all aware that there's guys out there that convince there Mrs that swinging is cool for (us)..thats not cool and for genuine swingers who know what there doing its not a problem...but what is this new disguise that a controlling person is able to use under a new category and how is this over looked?why describe yourself as sub or dom? is a cuckold man sub or dom?surely he has put himself in that position?who is sub and who is dom.yet when a cpl proclaim themselves as dom and sub,how come its never the guy who is dom?guys that do that would say they are cuckold and be done with it...im wondering if theres a lot of abuse out there,and because us swingers have had to change with the times,we dont see that or even feel its an issue?????? "
Read the profile ... decided, not even worth trying to explain ... not like me at all, but .... next |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
I might buck your trend OP since in my main relationship I am sub and he is Dom. I sometimes sub with other people as well where the dynamic is right. It's all about preferences and on occasion I prefer sex of a kinky, ouchy persuasion. I could go into a myriad of reasons why I think that's the case but unless you think a similar way to me you won't necessarily 'get' it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hello my name is Bike Monkey and I get sexual gratification from spanking and flogging women. So then OP tell me what's so wrong about that but so normal about fucking other people?
Do you?
I'm shocked
Even worse I go to swinging socials and find new recipients. I suspect in the OP's world that makes me a ppredator as well as an abuser
You bad man.
(Meet you behind the bike sheds?)"
I'm not sure, the OP might decide you are victim that needssaving! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hello my name is Bike Monkey and I get sexual gratification from spanking and flogging women. So then OP tell me what's so wrong about that but so normal about fucking other people?
Do you?
I'm shocked
Even worse I go to swinging socials and find new recipients. I suspect in the OP's world that makes me a ppredator as well as an abuser
You bad man.
(Meet you behind the bike sheds?)
I'm not sure, the OP might decide you are victim that needssaving! "
I can totally save myself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hello my name is Bike Monkey and I get sexual gratification from spanking and flogging women. So then OP tell me what's so wrong about that but so normal about fucking other people?
Do you?
I'm shocked
Even worse I go to swinging socials and find new recipients. I suspect in the OP's world that makes me a ppredator as well as an abuser
You bad man.
(Meet you behind the bike sheds?)
I'm not sure, the OP might decide you are victim that needssaving!
I can totally save myself."
I know that |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
i think there are controlling people...no matter what label they put themselves under..
i think there are dom/ sub relationships and that is a huge spectrum..am i dom, if i decided to go on top for once? for example..the perception of such relationships, is subjective and highly personal..
some people want to express their preferences...sometimes it doesn't make things any clearer, but gives an indication, if rather broad, as to what they 'might' be like.
as for cuckold, if im not mistaken, its a three way dynamic isnt it...it its set up, don't like to say 'properly'..maybe. 'traditionally.' would be a better word...
some people say the sub has all the power anyway, so, then as you say is dom/ sub a relinquishing or a sharing of 'power' play...
ive observed a couple incidents recently of where i personally felt boundaries were being breached along the controlling / taking advantage of someone lines...but that was my opinion..i could intuit totally the outcome of both scenarios...neither were pleasant to be witness too..however, boundaries need to be learnt by everyone..some allow themselves to be led along into situations, they don't like....maybe its part of learning who you are, and, what you want and don't want...i didn't see the 'victims' struggling against it in front of me, otherwise, i would have made my presence felt..
its a fine line to minding your own business, and answering an urge to step in, when its genuinely required....
all in all people are people, all different....live and let live i say, unless the attitude of aggression is prevalent, and is clearly in front of you, with someone complaining about it... |
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"I think that explaining Sub/Dom and BDSM etc to those who don't understand or like it, is probably a bit like trying to explain the concept of swinging to those who don't like or understand the idea.
It's about different strokes for different folks... no pun intended! "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Short answer - OP, do some research. Sub/Dom play ISN'T actually like 50 Shades.
Long answer - it's between two consenting adults. People who have a regular sub/Dom arrangement tend to have a soft - I.e things they want in each session - limits section and a hard - things they will not do - limits, which is written by the sub, therefore the sub has control, it's not all about pain or beating one little bit. Once again, THERE IS CONSENT.
I only sub for one person, we don't have an agreement but the person in question and he wouldn't dare push my limits in any way, nor would he attempt to harm me. Trust, consent, boundaries. |
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"dom and sub..WHAT THE FUCK!!!
DONT GET IT sounds like abuse to me?
we are all aware that there's guys out there that convince there Mrs that swinging is cool for (us)..thats not cool and for genuine swingers who know what there doing its not a problem...but what is this new disguise that a controlling person is able to use under a new category and how is this over looked?why describe yourself as sub or dom? is a cuckold man sub or dom?surely he has put himself in that position?who is sub and who is dom.yet when a cpl proclaim themselves as dom and sub,how come its never the guy who is dom?guys that do that would say they are cuckold and be done with it...im wondering if theres a lot of abuse out there,and because us swingers have had to change with the times,we dont see that or even feel its an issue?????? "
You know if you just want a simple answer to a question, there are much better ways of asking. If I thought you were remotely interested in understanding it rather than judging without any information then I'd at least try.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Short answer - OP, do some research. Sub/Dom play ISN'T actually like 50 Shades.
)"
Although... some of it is. One of my partners and myself play in some ways that are very similar to that film.
But it's still not abuse. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Mistress has released one of my hands so i can follow this thread.
You should be scrolling with your nose."
He's obviously not very dedicated to her.
(Amusingly I'm reminded of the fact that my friends boyfriend scrolls her phone with his cock when he's feeling mischievous). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't fully understand the proper sub/dom relationship where there's contracts written and ownership and things. A guy I met before (the London one who douched my bottom then chatted to me whilst I sat on the toilet doing arse dribbles) He asked me if I was sub or dom and I said I didn't know, he said everybody is naturally either one or the other. Any proper people who understand this know how you decide if you're sub or dom? Should I start my own thread, yes I'll start my own! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry, but this reads like one of those opening posts by someone who not only doesn't get 'it', but doesn't want to get it.
"
Or who totally does but just wants to start a thread that could be potentially nasty for the hell of it.
In my opinion sub/Dom relationships work perfectly well as when not in a scene the sub should be conversing with the Dom as to boundaries and safewords etc. Most definitely not abuse nor the same as cockolding. |
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