FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Abuse

Abuse

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

hope in right place sorry if not

So at work today had a big delivery then the a post/parcel girl calls i say please be careful Hun ( very limited floor space ( then all of a sudden I got abuse

I'm not your Hun/ luv

Babe

Sweet or any other pet name you want to call me )

I said sorry she had no name tag on but just made me think how many female profiles on here that says don't call me pet names so what should us males call you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think anyone having a strop over someone using an endearment needs to get a grip. Unless you call me something like sugar tits or lard arse I don't really care what a stranger calls me. I do feel a bit old when someone calls me dear though.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sounds like you were being very polite to me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't like random men calling me by a pet name, no. Stuff like "babe" or "hun" really sets my teeth on edge.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks Hun I don't mean that to offend I didn't think I was in wrong perhaps wrong time of month for her thanks again Hun

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't like random men calling me by a pet name, no. Stuff like "babe" or "hun" really sets my teeth on edge."

Personally I think she's blown it well out of proportion, he's obviously just trying to be helpful.

In a different context I can see how babe would be annoying.

Maybe it's just because the words love and Hun are used when being polite where we live.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thanks Hun I don't mean that to offend I didn't think I was in wrong perhaps wrong time of month for her thanks again Hun "

Enjoying your trolling?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thanks Hun I don't mean that to offend I didn't think I was in wrong perhaps wrong time of month for her thanks again Hun "

You can't blame everything on a woman's periods

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I don't like random men calling me by a pet name, no. Stuff like "babe" or "hun" really sets my teeth on edge."

Can I ask why please I was only being polite so if you where her what should I of said to you ?

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Thanks Hun I don't mean that to offend I didn't think I was in wrong perhaps wrong time of month for her thanks again Hun "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't like random men calling me by a pet name, no. Stuff like "babe" or "hun" really sets my teeth on edge.

Can I ask why please I was only being polite so if you where her what should I of said to you ?"

What would you have said if it was a man and not a woman?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I always try to be polite to everyone that comes in to place even when I don't want to be. Might of just been her off day bless her

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thanks Hun I don't mean that to offend I didn't think I was in wrong perhaps wrong time of month for her thanks again Hun

You can't blame everything on a woman's periods

I was thinking much the same.

In response to your comments OP, and this is just a thought, could you not have just said 'Thank you'?

A perfectly acceptable way of expressing thanks to someone without getting into a PC minefield.

I appreciate that 'Thanks hun' may be a 'go to' response for you, but would you accept that such a response could be described as unprofessional?

I appreciate also your difficulty due to the lack of a name tag, but again, I would ask, how do you cope in other areas of your life when dealing with a stranger who is not wearing a name tag.

Let me be clear that I'm not having a 'pop' at you OP, but rather attempting to provide 'food for thought'

Maybe one of lifes lessons learned, but don't stress too much over it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't like random men calling me by a pet name, no. Stuff like "babe" or "hun" really sets my teeth on edge.

Can I ask why please I was only being polite so if you where her what should I of said to you ?

What would you have said if it was a man and not a woman?"

I would use fella or mate for a guy

And probably just love for a lass

No different from being called duck in Sheffield or pet in Newcastle

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I don't like random men calling me by a pet name, no. Stuff like "babe" or "hun" really sets my teeth on edge.

Can I ask why please I was only being polite so if you where her what should I of said to you ?

What would you have said if it was a man and not a woman?"

Now mate /pal just be careful walking in There's loads of shit here

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't like random men calling me by a pet name, no. Stuff like "babe" or "hun" really sets my teeth on edge.

Can I ask why please I was only being polite so if you where her what should I of said to you ?

What would you have said if it was a man and not a woman?

Now mate /pal just be careful walking in There's loads of shit here "

Then why didn't you just warn the girl in question like that? You could've said to be careful walking in because it's a mess in there.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I don't like random men calling me by a pet name, no. Stuff like "babe" or "hun" really sets my teeth on edge.

Can I ask why please I was only being polite so if you where her what should I of said to you ?

What would you have said if it was a man and not a woman?

I would use fella or mate for a guy

And probably just love for a lass

No different from being called duck in Sheffield or pet in Newcastle "

Yeah just the way we all speak being polite

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By *epper123Woman over a year ago

London

"I don't like random men calling me by a pet name, no. Stuff like "babe" or "hun" really sets my teeth on edge."

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I don't like random men calling me by a pet name, no. Stuff like "babe" or "hun" really sets my teeth on edge.

Can I ask why please I was only being polite so if you where her what should I of said to you ?

What would you have said if it was a man and not a woman?

Now mate /pal just be careful walking in There's loads of shit here

Then why didn't you just warn the girl in question like that? You could've said to be careful walking in because it's a mess in there."

I wouldn't of said there's loads of shit around here to a female just being polite I've been in sales for 20 odd years and never ever a problem she was a delivery driver and I get abuse

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I can't stand being called love or dear but hun wouldn't bother me.

It's also the context it's said in that's important.

Friendly:good

Patronising:bad.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

She may be one of those man hater types who like an excuse to have a go at a man.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Some people just Want to be offended.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Some people just Want to be offended."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think anyone having a strop over someone using an endearment needs to get a grip. Unless you call me something like sugar tits or lard arse I don't really care what a stranger calls me. I do feel a bit old when someone calls me dear though. "
Maybe I'm a wrongun but would love to be called sugar tits lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I am not a fan of strangers calling me hun or babe either.

Locally its more likely to be luv or me duck anyway which I am fine with.

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By *tep121Man over a year ago

manchester

It depends on what region your in depends on the pet name u use.. where im from its duck.

I would have just said it n not said love or hun..

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By *ce WingerMan over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"Just leave it there mi duck and we'll sort it"

Never had any problems with that apart from when I had to sign for a delivery from a Mr Drake

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I work in a male dominated environment and hate being called babe or love, I,m not offended by it but it deffo grates on me but obviously you cant show it annoys you because the bastards do it more to annoy you

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"She may be one of those man hater types who like an excuse to have a go at a man. "

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I think anyone having a strop over someone using an endearment needs to get a grip. Unless you call me something like sugar tits or lard arse I don't really care what a stranger calls me. I do feel a bit old when someone calls me dear though. Maybe I'm a wrongun but would love to be called sugar tits lol "

Haha, a friend of mine calls me sexy boobs lol!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think anyone having a strop over someone using an endearment needs to get a grip. Unless you call me something like sugar tits or lard arse I don't really care what a stranger calls me. I do feel a bit old when someone calls me dear though. Maybe I'm a wrongun but would love to be called sugar tits lol

Haha, a friend of mine calls me sexy boobs lol!

"
Well they do have a point

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I call everyone doll men too

I used to say chick just always seem to have a word.

Doesn't offend when someone says it to me it's just a word often with no meaning other than 'you'

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By *helbeeCouple over a year ago

Nuneaton

At work inappropriate to call a fem hun etc or pet names. She is a work colleague an treat her equal to a guy. An a equal. I cant stand the word babes when a guy calls me that lol

maybe sometimes better not to say hun or babes at the end etc

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I usually find the one's that call me 'dear' are based in places like Nigeria and are usually bearers of news about Nigerian lotto winnings or long lost relatives.

Either that or they are declaring undying love in the first message and saying that the distance doesn't matter and no, of course they aren't a scammer

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Around my parts they call you love..bloody hate it total strangers calling you love...especially in shops..not professional at all.

I'm not one for love/hun/babe for me there's is no need.

A simple mind where you walk its a bit messy/ cramped etc would have sufficed.

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By *layfull pairingCouple over a year ago

Bristol

All girls are "sweetheart" if i dont know their names, wether they are little kids or 90 years old.. i dont think anyone has ever taken offence... certainly never noticed if they have....

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By *trawberry-popWoman over a year ago

South East Midlands NOT

There was a big thing about this within the last couple of years, some women apparently feel it's sexist.

Personally I'm not a lover of 'hun' and i'm not sure it's appropriate at work to call people pet names unless you know them well.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Is that really your definition of abuse?

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

I don't call my male colleagues anything other than their name and if I don't know it I don't call them anything they are the same.

I see Donald Trump has had a far reaching influence too, I suspect he calls women by pet names

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think a little common sense needs to be applied...many of these terms are localish and simply used when names are not known. Offence is rarely meant, unless done in a creepy way. On the flip side if a shop assistant has a name badge how many people actually use their name when addresssing them. 1. it draws attention (if they are female) that you have been looking at their chest and 2. It will generally make you seem a bit stalkerish or looking to getting them in trouble.

And it could have been worse. The OP could have said 'watch out you fucking ugly bitch. Dont want you tripping over, no way am I doing mouth to mouth with someone who looks like Peter Beardsley's ballbag'

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

She went a bit overboard with her reaction. You didnt know her name, so hun isnt unreasonable. Not worth worrying about it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I never use a ship assistants name if its on a badge. Ive heard other people do it and it sounds so sarcastic/forced. Up here I use love/cock, elsewhere where they will use different colloquialisms, I will use Miss. Even if I don't have a cold.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm always calling females hun, sweetie, or any other nice complimentary names.

There's no harm in it, just a friendly way of speaking to them.

If people don't like it I'm sure they would tell me... only once in 17 years have I had a lady ask me not to be do "friendly" when chatting to her.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"hope in right place sorry if not

So at work today had a big delivery then the a post/parcel girl calls i say please be careful Hun ( very limited floor space ( then all of a sudden I got abuse

I'm not your Hun/ luv

Babe

Sweet or any other pet name you want to call me )

I said sorry she had no name tag on but just made me think how many female profiles on here that says don't call me pet names so what should us males call you "
i call people hun or sweetie all the time, some people need to seriously lighten up. The worlds gone mad, just carry on being lovely and sod them. Xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I hate being called mate.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"hope in right place sorry if not

So at work today had a big delivery then the a post/parcel girl calls i say please be careful Hun ( very limited floor space ( then all of a sudden I got abuse

I'm not your Hun/ luv

Babe

Sweet or any other pet name you want to call me )

I said sorry she had no name tag on but just made me think how many female profiles on here that says don't call me pet names so what should us males call you "

She didn't give you abuse, she asked you to she asked you not to call her pet names.

What was wrong with just saying 'please be careful' without the pet name?

I really, really, really fucking hate it when guys call me pet names, especially if I don't know them very well.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thanks Hun I don't mean that to offend I didn't think I was in wrong perhaps wrong time of month for her thanks again Hun "

I don't understand why people say this. Just because a woman doesn't like something she has to be hormonal/on her period? I don't know I think most women (if not all) are capable of controlling theirselves and shouldn't have their own bodily functions used against them when they say something someone else doesn't like. T

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I hate being called mate.

So do I, and wide still, pal. I've never heard pal used in a non threatening manner.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't like being called pet names. However, I would only ask someone not to call me by one of they did it repeatedly.

But for me it isn't necessarily about being sexist. It's more classist. For example, when I was younger, I worked as a cleaner in the public schools in NYC to pay for law school. When people saw me, they tended to call me honey. The minute they found out I was in law school and not a full time cleaner, I suddenly got asked my name and was never called honey again. Like magic.

I understand that many times it can be a regional thing, and I understand that it is often not done to be consciously insulting, but in the context of a work environment, let me ask this: if this woman had been his boss, or the CEO of a company, or something similar, instead of a delivery woman (which was pointed out by the OP numerous times), would he have even considered calling her hun? I doubt it. And why? Because of respect. The same respect a delivery woman or cleaner deserves, regardless of sex.

That's my take anyway.

-Courtney

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't like being called pet names. However, I would only ask someone not to call me by one of they did it repeatedly.

That's my take anyway.

-Courtney"

Very good point.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

FWIW I always ask people on here not to call me 'hun' or 'babe' or anything similar to that. I ask them politely the first time they say it.

The amount of people who just explode with rage because I asked them not to call me a name that I don't like is utterly incredible.

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I think anyone having a strop over someone using an endearment needs to get a grip. Unless you call me something like sugar tits or lard arse I don't really care what a stranger calls me. I do feel a bit old when someone calls me dear though. Maybe I'm a wrongun but would love to be called sugar tits lol

Haha, a friend of mine calls me sexy boobs lol!

Well they do have a point

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By *epper123Woman over a year ago

London

I have a couple of pet names for men who decide to become overly familiar and call me what I deem to be derogatory names, they are 'wanker', and 'part', I do think though, in the right context, they can be quite endearing .. well, who is to say I did not intend them that way. I did live in Stoke tton Trent for a while and love shoog and duck ... but within context and said to everyone, they are okay. I guess down here, in the so called hub of civilization, its 'daaarrrrlin' with a London accent that's a bit crass, but I have only heard 'hun' in the swinging world ... and for Attila ... so when I am called that, I just start behaving like the latter.

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By *epper123Woman over a year ago

London

"I have a couple of pet names for men who decide to become overly familiar and call me what I deem to be derogatory names, they are 'wanker', and 'part', I do think though, in the right context, they can be quite endearing .. well, who is to say I did not intend them that way. I did live in Stoke tton Trent for a while and love shoog and duck ... but within context and said to everyone, they are okay. I guess down here, in the so called hub of civilization, its 'daaarrrrlin' with a London accent that's a bit crass, but I have only heard 'hun' in the swinging world ... and for Attila ... so when I am called that, I just start behaving like the latter.

* Prat nor part, damn autocorrect

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"hope in right place sorry if not

So at work today had a big delivery then the a post/parcel girl calls i say please be careful Hun ( very limited floor space ( then all of a sudden I got abuse

I'm not your Hun/ luv

Babe

Sweet or any other pet name you want to call me )

I said sorry she had no name tag on but just made me think how many female profiles on here that says don't call me pet names so what should us males call you "

You should have said, 'Be careful in there , there's limited floor space.'

You are the problem. Not her reaction.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I hate being called mate.

I don't mind that. A male friend adopted it so that he never slips up. Long before he met me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

She could have acted in a respectful manner and said nicely please don't call me hun. She has no more right to be deliberately rude or abusive than he had to mistakenly call her hun. Or does she because she's a woman and he's a man.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

In Leeds men call other men 'love'.

Anyone getting upset by love, hun, duck or similar has a problem. They're weirdos and once they've identified themselves as such keep a wide berth.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"hope in right place sorry if not

So at work today had a big delivery then the a post/parcel girl calls i say please be careful Hun ( very limited floor space ( then all of a sudden I got abuse

I'm not your Hun/ luv

Babe

Sweet or any other pet name you want to call me )

I said sorry she had no name tag on but just made me think how many female profiles on here that says don't call me pet names so what should us males call you "

She was trying to stamp out your freedom of expression. Become a hippy and call everyone, man. It's probably simpler in the long run.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"She could have acted in a respectful manner and said nicely please don't call me hun. She has no more right to be deliberately rude or abusive than he had to mistakenly call her hun. Or does she because she's a woman and he's a man. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would have acted just the same as if I were talking to a man, and shouted "watch where your going ya big fuck whit" I'm not sexist

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Blob week don't worry about it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sits back waits for the shit to start lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Blob week don't worry about it "

You are quite right.

All us women are emotional idiots who hate men whenever we have our period.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've been called chuckie egg to bambi.. Never once felt insulted. She's obviously having a bad day

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By *tarbeckCouple over a year ago

york

"Sits back waits for the shit to start lol "
Got to admit ive never heard that saying before , yuck

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't like random men calling me by a pet name, no. Stuff like "babe" or "hun" really sets my teeth on edge."
definitely...straight to block list

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Blob week don't worry about it

You are quite right.

All us women are emotional idiots who hate men whenever we have our period."

I just hate men ALL the time.

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By *urvyemmaWoman over a year ago

wigan/bolton

You called her hun which is sexist and unprofessional. .would you call your senior female manager hun?

Then when she, quite rightly, told you not to you blame it on her being on her period!

Sexist and ignorant and clearly shows your opinion of women!!

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By *ythenshawefredMan over a year ago

stockport

[Removed by poster at 19/08/15 16:04:51]

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By *artytwoCouple over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"hope in right place sorry if not

So at work today had a big delivery then the a post/parcel girl calls i say please be careful Hun ( very limited floor space ( then all of a sudden I got abuse

I'm not your Hun/ luv

Babe

Sweet or any other pet name you want to call me )

I said sorry she had no name tag on but just made me think how many female profiles on here that says don't call me pet names so what should us males call you "

I (Mr T) have an issue with unwanted and un-necessary endearments or overfamiliarity. When you shop in Europe they say 'bon jour' 'guten morgen' 'au revoir' etc. They don't call you 'cherie'or 'schatzen' as it is rude and patronising to a stranger.

Some shops like Maplins, they harass you from one end of the sales floor to the other asking if you are 'alright' because they've told to and not because they really give a fuck whether you live or die lol.

There is nothing wrong with politeness but in this country it seems to be a substitute for good service.

In a UK restaurant they ask "is everything all right with the food?" but they don't want to know if you have got a problem, it's just because they've been told to ask.

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By *urvyemmaWoman over a year ago

wigan/bolton

It's different in a pub. The example used is that they are work colleagues. .maybe she is sick of being treated as the 'girl in the post room '..pat on head, isn't she sweet and harmless. Maybe she wants a bit of respect and equality. Or maybe she just doesn't want an affectionate name from the sexist pig she works with but barely knows. .how unreasonable of her!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

The O.P said ...

She said ,I'm not your Hun/ luv/Babe/Sweet or any other pet name you want to call me.

You've interpreted that as......

* She blew it out of proportion

*it's her time of the month

* bless her

* I wouldn't use the word shit to a female

* I got abuse

*She is a man hater

* She wanted to be offended

*She just wanted an excuse to have a go at a man.

*All girls are sweetheart

*Better than calling her an ugly fucking bitch with a face like Peter Beardsley's ball bag.

* Hun isn't unreasonable.

*I walsy call females, hun, sweetie or other nice complimentary names

* There's no harm in it

* People need to lighten up.

* Carry on calling it. If they don't like it sod them.

*She should have acted in a respectful manner ( there's no indication she didn't )

*She has no right to be deliberately rude or abusive

* He said it mistakenly

*Just because she's a woman.

*Anyone who doesn't like being called luv has problems, is a weirdo, give them a wide berth.

* She was trying to stamp on your freedom of expression

* It's blob week

* I have the upper hand and I can just tell them if they don't like it they can fuck off.

All because she doesn't like being called luv.

It was her place of work not the local supermarket.

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By *phroditeWoman over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"The O.P said ...

She said ,I'm not your Hun/ luv/Babe/Sweet or any other pet name you want to call me.

You've interpreted that as......

* She blew it out of proportion

*it's her time of the month

* bless her

* I wouldn't use the word shit to a female

* I got abuse

*She is a man hater

* She wanted to be offended

*She just wanted an excuse to have a go at a man.

*All girls are sweetheart

*Better than calling her an ugly fucking bitch with a face like Peter Beardsley's ball bag.

* Hun isn't unreasonable.

*I walsy call females, hun, sweetie or other nice complimentary names

* There's no harm in it

* People need to lighten up.

* Carry on calling it. If they don't like it sod them.

*She should have acted in a respectful manner ( there's no indication she didn't )

*She has no right to be deliberately rude or abusive

* He said it mistakenly

*Just because she's a woman.

*Anyone who doesn't like being called luv has problems, is a weirdo, give them a wide berth.

* She was trying to stamp on your freedom of expression

* It's blob week

* I have the upper hand and I can just tell them if they don't like it they can fuck off.

All because she doesn't like being called luv.

It was her place of work not the local supermarket.

"
once again... this

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"It's different in a pub. The example used is that they are work colleagues. .maybe she is sick of being treated as the 'girl in the post room '..pat on head, isn't she sweet and harmless. Maybe she wants a bit of respect and equality. Or maybe she just doesn't want an affectionate name from the sexist pig she works with but barely knows. .how unreasonable of her! "

Girls = Grown women in most work places.

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By *ythenshawefredMan over a year ago

stockport

Why is it different in a pub? I didn't clarify if it was 5 minutes before last orders on a Friday night and I'm running round at 100mph or 8pm on a Tuesday and there's only 2 people in and I've all the time in the world to say 'yes please which of our fine array of chilled beverages would like to sample madam?' (Which is more along the lines of the breweries instructions)

Granted if you are trying to be formal and professional pet names shouldn't be used really but if we don't know how formal the initial approach from the offended girl was its hard to judge it's quite possible she said 'hiya mate where should I put this delivery?'

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By *imiUKMan over a year ago

Hereford

Alroight moi luvver?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

To clarify.... you said, maybe some would object - mostly women - but they don't verbalise it but maybe that's cos I have the upper hand and I can just tell them to FUCK OFF if they don't like it.

I don't object when barmen say 'yes luv'.... I would object STRONGLY if my boss said 'fetch those luv' ' Good girl'

It's a very different situation.

Language matters.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Alroight moi luvver?"

Oroight me luvver.... x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Mate just report her to her boss . I get called all sorts by the paying customer . If I reacted like a twat I'd be out of the job before the weeks out.

I suspect the same will be true

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

[Removed by poster at 19/08/15 16:24:42]

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Mate just report her to her boss . I get called all sorts by the paying customer . If I reacted like a twat I'd be out of the job before the weeks out.

I suspect the same will be true"

Report HER ? What for ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Who the fuck said blob week??

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Who the fuck said blob week??

Was it YOU ??? Was it ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Mate just report her to her boss . I get called all sorts by the paying customer . If I reacted like a twat I'd be out of the job before the weeks out.

I suspect the same will be true

Report HER ? What for ? "

Being moody on the blob....I mean job

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By *ythenshawefredMan over a year ago

stockport

"To clarify.... you said, maybe some would object - mostly women - but they don't verbalise it but maybe that's cos I have the upper hand and I can just tell them to FUCK OFF if they don't like it.

I don't object when barmen say 'yes luv'.... I would object STRONGLY if my boss said 'fetch those luv' ' Good girl'

It's a very different situation.

Language matters."

So it is the situation opposed to the use of a pet name that makes me question why is the situation different if as we all know the customer is always right would it be acceptable

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Mate just report her to her boss . I get called all sorts by the paying customer . If I reacted like a twat I'd be out of the job before the weeks out.

I suspect the same will be true"

Mate. She wasn't a customer. She was a colleague.

He treated her differently. She said don't call me that and you think he should report HER ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Who the fuck said blob week??

Was it YOU ??? Was it ?"

I don't think so,can't be sure with my old brain though. Was I bad to laugh?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"hope in right place sorry if not

So at work today had a big delivery then the a post/parcel girl calls i say please be careful Hun ( very limited floor space ( then all of a sudden I got abuse

I'm not your Hun/ luv

Babe

Sweet or any other pet name you want to call me )

I said sorry she had no name tag on but just made me think how many female profiles on here that says don't call me pet names so what should us males call you "

Next time she comes in call her mrs Hun

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"To clarify.... you said, maybe some would object - mostly women - but they don't verbalise it but maybe that's cos I have the upper hand and I can just tell them to FUCK OFF if they don't like it.

I don't object when barmen say 'yes luv'.... I would object STRONGLY if my boss said 'fetch those luv' ' Good girl'

It's a very different situation.

Language matters.

So it is the situation opposed to the use of a pet name that makes me question why is the situation different if as we all know the customer is always right would it be acceptable "

It's the situation/relationship/context.

FTR A waiter called me luv, darlin, hun throughout a meal. I didn't tip him and I reported him.

I wasn't on the blob either ! ( disgusting phrase )

I did watch him though and if he'd have spoken to men in the same way I'd have let him off but he didn't.

They were treated as adults. I was treated as a child or someone with mental problems.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Mate just report her to her boss . I get called all sorts by the paying customer . If I reacted like a twat I'd be out of the job before the weeks out.

I suspect the same will be true

Report HER ? What for ? "

'Cause she's being paid to deliver boxes not lecture the customer on his use of language. For THAT

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Who the fuck said blob week??

Was it YOU ??? Was it ?

I don't think so,can't be sure with my old brain though. Was I bad to laugh?"

Nah. Laughing's good.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Mate just report her to her boss . I get called all sorts by the paying customer . If I reacted like a twat I'd be out of the job before the weeks out.

I suspect the same will be true

Report HER ? What for ?

'Cause she's being paid to deliver boxes not lecture the customer on his use of language. For THAT"

Was HE the customer ? Let me check that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"To clarify.... you said, maybe some would object - mostly women - but they don't verbalise it but maybe that's cos I have the upper hand and I can just tell them to FUCK OFF if they don't like it.

I don't object when barmen say 'yes luv'.... I would object STRONGLY if my boss said 'fetch those luv' ' Good girl'

It's a very different situation.

Language matters.

So it is the situation opposed to the use of a pet name that makes me question why is the situation different if as we all know the customer is always right would it be acceptable

It's the situation/relationship/context.

FTR A waiter called me luv, darlin, hun throughout a meal. I didn't tip him and I reported him.

I wasn't on the blob either ! ( disgusting phrase )

I did watch him though and if he'd have spoken to men in the same way I'd have let him off but he didn't.

They were treated as adults. I was treated as a child or someone with mental problems.

How is that implying you have mental problems?! Did he offer to cut up your food too?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

No he wasn't.

His company would be though.

I suspect if his company is worth a penny it will put him in his place and train him to speak to visitors to their company in the correct manner.

I would hope her company would back her right to be treated in the workplace with respect too.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"To clarify.... you said, maybe some would object - mostly women - but they don't verbalise it but maybe that's cos I have the upper hand and I can just tell them to FUCK OFF if they don't like it.

I don't object when barmen say 'yes luv'.... I would object STRONGLY if my boss said 'fetch those luv' ' Good girl'

It's a very different situation.

Language matters.

So it is the situation opposed to the use of a pet name that makes me question why is the situation different if as we all know the customer is always right would it be acceptable

It's the situation/relationship/context.

FTR A waiter called me luv, darlin, hun throughout a meal. I didn't tip him and I reported him.

I wasn't on the blob either ! ( disgusting phrase )

I did watch him though and if he'd have spoken to men in the same way I'd have let him off but he didn't.

They were treated as adults. I was treated as a child or someone with mental problems.

How is that implying you have mental problems?! Did he offer to cut up your food too?"

I'm sure you don't mean that as a serious remark so i'll pass.

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By *ythenshawefredMan over a year ago

stockport

"To clarify.... you said, maybe some would object - mostly women - but they don't verbalise it but maybe that's cos I have the upper hand and I can just tell them to FUCK OFF if they don't like it.

I don't object when barmen say 'yes luv'.... I would object STRONGLY if my boss said 'fetch those luv' ' Good girl'

It's a very different situation.

Language matters.

So it is the situation opposed to the use of a pet name that makes me question why is the situation different if as we all know the customer is always right would it be acceptable

It's the situation/relationship/context.

FTR A waiter called me luv, darlin, hun throughout a meal. I didn't tip him and I reported him.

I wasn't on the blob either ! ( disgusting phrase )

I did watch him though and if he'd have spoken to men in the same way I'd have let him off but he didn't.

They were treated as adults. I was treated as a child or someone with mental problems.

Ok point conceded that because I said 'yes mate/fella' to the guys I'm treating everybody equally so logically if there was a guy from the post room that called the OP and the OP had previously said 'careful mate there's limited floor space' surely that steals the girls thunder

And yes I am somewhat trying to play devils advocate here

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Can someone explain how hun is sexist? Not being contreversial just trying to understand.

Love too really, there both gender neutral words to me. Clearly I'm missing something

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

If he said watch out there's boxes all over the place to ANYONE no harm done.

No way would he say to a bloke .. watch out for the boxes hun they're all over the place.

Be especially careful in there sweetie.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Can someone explain how hun is sexist? Not being contreversial just trying to understand.

Love too really, there both gender neutral words to me. Clearly I'm missing something

Depends on the relationship dynamic and place.

If anyone called me hun in work I wouldn't let it go.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I can only think of if a stranger called you a fucker...... you'd flip.

But if a mate you've had for ages it said it you'd both laugh.

If your boss called you it you'd gasp!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Can someone explain how hun is sexist? Not being contreversial just trying to understand.

Love too really, there both gender neutral words to me. Clearly I'm missing something

It feminises a woman, and it's unnecessary. Also patronising. She's not his "honey" or his "love", she's someone trying to complete a job. Address her by her name or not at all, it's unprofessional.

Anyway, he wouldn't say "watch out, honey" to a bloke cos it's weird.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ok fair play doesn't bother me. but I know there's plenty it does.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Would it be different in a none work context?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have a terrible habit of calling all women 'love'. My wife did pull me up on it when I said it to a nun in a hotel recently!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Would it be different in a none work context?"

Depends on how familiar you are. It's a term of endearment. If you're not endeared to that person, why would you use it? It's understandable why some would find it offensive.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I have a terrible habit of calling all women 'love'. My wife did pull me up on it when I said it to a nun in a hotel recently!"

Was she having 'nun' of it ?

Boom Boom !

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By *phroditeWoman over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"Hun" is obly ever used towards females - and I find it, depending on the context as Granny pointed out, condescending and sexist in the world of work. Equally, I was recently referred to as a "lovely lady" in the context of a work environment and while it was meant in a nice way, I still did not take to it as it undermines the professionalism with which I operate at work. Of course, I did not tell that person off but I just said I would prefer to be refered to by my name or as a "colleague" or the professional role i was carrying out at the time.

Yes, it is "only" language but it DOES matter as much in the context of gender equality as much as some terms relating to somebody's size or colour can be offensive in the particular context of racism or "sizism".

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Can it be sexist if a female said it to a female? For example one thing that pissed me off in my last job was a female manager who used to tell me "don't worry your pretty little head". Patronizing as fuck but is it sexist or another ist??

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By *ythenshawefredMan over a year ago

stockport

[Removed by poster at 19/08/15 16:57:53]

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I wouldn't call my boss mate if I wanted to keep working

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If he said watch out there's boxes all over the place to ANYONE no harm done.

No way would he say to a bloke .. watch out for the boxes hun they're all over the place.

Be especially careful in there sweetie.

Of course a guy wouldn't call a guy hun (unless he is German and aiming to offend) but I'd think mate is the same as hun in that situation in the same way that sir is the same as madam when being more formal "

But women can be mates too.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

we call each other smelly and gimp in our office

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Highly patronizing. Not sexist tho unless it comes from a male. Still not acceptable it is bad for your confidence, morale and production.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"we call each other smelly and gimp in our office

Wonderful

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As I said above, I don't think it's necessarily sexist. It's patronizing, and can be classist, but it not necessarily sexist. I don't think so, anyway. It would bother me no matter who it comes from.

-Courtney

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By *phroditeWoman over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"Can it be sexist if a female said it to a female? For example one thing that pissed me off in my last job was a female manager who used to tell me "don't worry your pretty little head". Patronizing as fuck but is it sexist or another ist??"
I see your point, possibly not sexist but a tad patronising? The comment your female manager made is ridiculously patronising and I would have been offended, too.

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By *phroditeWoman over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"If he said watch out there's boxes all over the place to ANYONE no harm done.

No way would he say to a bloke .. watch out for the boxes hun they're all over the place.

Be especially careful in there sweetie.

Hahaha that made me really chuckle... I did not know that Germans mean to offend and when doing so they call you"hun"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Can it be sexist if a female said it to a female? For example one thing that pissed me off in my last job was a female manager who used to tell me "don't worry your pretty little head". Patronizing as fuck but is it sexist or another ist??I see your point, possibly not sexist but a tad patronising? The comment your female manager made is ridiculously patronising and I would have been offended, too.

I wasn't sure at the time but when I mentioned her way of patronizing me to my manager she said I was too sensitive. don't work there anymore BTW lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"we call each other smelly and gimp in our office

Wonderful

It works for us but then it's the sort of job where we are good friends as well as colleagues

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By *phroditeWoman over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"Can it be sexist if a female said it to a female? For example one thing that pissed me off in my last job was a female manager who used to tell me "don't worry your pretty little head". Patronizing as fuck but is it sexist or another ist??I see your point, possibly not sexist but a tad patronising? The comment your female manager made is ridiculously patronising and I would have been offended, too.

I wasn't sure at the time but when I mentioned her way of patronizing me to my manager she said I was too sensitive. don't work there anymore BTW lol"
Sounds like an unhealthy culture in that company and you are much better out of there!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Can it be sexist if a female said it to a female? For example one thing that pissed me off in my last job was a female manager who used to tell me "don't worry your pretty little head". Patronizing as fuck but is it sexist or another ist??I see your point, possibly not sexist but a tad patronising? The comment your female manager made is ridiculously patronising and I would have been offended, too.

I wasn't sure at the time but when I mentioned her way of patronizing me to my manager she said I was too sensitive. don't work there anymore BTW lolSounds like an unhealthy culture in that company and you are much better out of there!

I stood it for years and your right. I could tell a fair few stories.

It taught me a lot though to be fair and these days not a lot phases me. Interestingly it was a public sector organisation...

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By *ythenshawefredMan over a year ago

stockport

I'll agree that something can be taken as patronising like pretty little head or I'd guess the male version would be 'boy' but I'd disagree that it's sexist especially if the person uses hun for women and mate for men all the time surely then it is just the persons way (might be crap with names)

Different if somebody knows all the guys names in the office but just calls all the women hun because they can't be bothered with their names

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have a terrible habit of calling all women 'love'. My wife did pull me up on it when I said it to a nun in a hotel recently!

Was she having 'nun' of it ?

Boom Boom !"

Btw, I hate being referred to as 'guys' , especially in a restaurant!

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By *phroditeWoman over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"Can it be sexist if a female said it to a female? For example one thing that pissed me off in my last job was a female manager who used to tell me "don't worry your pretty little head". Patronizing as fuck but is it sexist or another ist??I see your point, possibly not sexist but a tad patronising? The comment your female manager made is ridiculously patronising and I would have been offended, too.

I stood it for years and your right. I could tell a fair few stories.

It taught me a lot though to be fair and these days not a lot phases me. Interestingly it was a public sector organisation..."
I am not entirely surprised, I have seen evidence of this more in public and third sector organisations, not quite so much in industry. Either way... it is really not acceptable but will probably take a few more years before it has been eradicated.

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By *ythenshawefredMan over a year ago

stockport

"If he said watch out there's boxes all over the place to ANYONE no harm done.

No way would he say to a bloke .. watch out for the boxes hun they're all over the place.

Be especially careful in there sweetie.

Hahaha that made me really chuckle... I did not know that Germans mean to offend and when doing so they call you"hun"

Humour of 1915 opposed to 2015 I guess

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By *hocolate007Man over a year ago

london

"I don't like random men calling me by a pet name, no. Stuff like "babe" or "hun" really sets my teeth on edge."

well said babe

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I can only think of if a stranger called you a fucker...... you'd flip.

But if a mate you've had for ages it said it you'd both laugh.

If your boss called you it you'd gasp!

Fair point.

Context is everything.

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By *hocolate007Man over a year ago

london

I usually find the one's that call me 'dear' are based in places like Nigeria and are usually bearers of news about Nigerian lotto winnings or long lost relatives.

Either that or they are declaring undying love in the first message and saying that the distance doesn't matter and no, of course they aren't a scammer

you misunderstood my undying love for you my dear, i love you . Distance might be between us but you are the only sugar in my tea, you are the air that i breath. My love i love you my love. My dear, i dare not loose you as i am not a scammer.

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By *hocolate007Man over a year ago

london

"hope in right place sorry if not

So at work today had a big delivery then the a post/parcel girl calls i say please be careful Hun ( very limited floor space ( then all of a sudden I got abuse

I'm not your Hun/ luv

Babe

Sweet or any other pet name you want to call me )

I said sorry she had no name tag on but just made me think how many female profiles on here that says don't call me pet names so what should us males call you i call people hun or sweetie all the time, some people need to seriously lighten up. The worlds gone mad, just carry on being lovely and sod them. Xx"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I can only think of if a stranger called you a fucker...... you'd flip.

But if a mate you've had for ages it said it you'd both laugh.

If your boss called you it you'd gasp!

Fair point.

Context is everything. "

Not in my job, its a term of endearment...

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By *hocolate007Man over a year ago

london

kk daaaarling, have you been ok tho my love ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

kk daaaarling, have you been ok tho my love ?

When you use that joke on every woman who expresses a dislike in those terms, it gets old. Are you aware?

And now I'll await the overused joke I have a feeling you're about to make.

-Courtney

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I usually find the one's that call me 'dear' are based in places like Nigeria and are usually bearers of news about Nigerian lotto winnings or long lost relatives.

Either that or they are declaring undying love in the first message and saying that the distance doesn't matter and no, of course they aren't a scammer

My friend who calls me dear is a 31 yr old British white man. I feel like his wife when he messages me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've got a really revolutionary idea.

How about...

(I know. This is so totally radical.)

You just...

(I'm so smart to have thought of this)

Don't call someone pet names unless you know them well enough to know that they're ok with it?

(Fuck me... I feel like I've really broken new ground today.)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I can only think of if a stranger called you a fucker...... you'd flip.

But if a mate you've had for ages it said it you'd both laugh.

If your boss called you it you'd gasp!

Fair point.

Context is everything.

Not in my job, its a term of endearment...

Are you a politician?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I can only think of if a stranger called you a fucker...... you'd flip.

But if a mate you've had for ages it said it you'd both laugh.

If your boss called you it you'd gasp!

Fair point.

Context is everything.

Not in my job, its a term of endearment...

Are you a politician?

No, but if I was I would be raping the shit out of the expense system

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By *hocolate007Man over a year ago

london

kk daaaarling, have you been ok tho my love ?

When you use that joke on every woman who expresses a dislike in those terms, it gets old. Are you aware?

And now I'll await the overused joke I have a feeling you're about to make.

-Courtney"

lighten up, life is all good

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By *teveanddebsCouple over a year ago

Norwich

I only use Babe if they look like a pig.

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By *hocolate007Man over a year ago

london

I usually find the one's that call me 'dear' are based in places like Nigeria and are usually bearers of news about Nigerian lotto winnings or long lost relatives.

Either that or they are declaring undying love in the first message and saying that the distance doesn't matter and no, of course they aren't a scammer

My friend who calls me dear is a 31 yr old British white man. I feel like his wife when he messages me

lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You shouldn't have warned her in the first place - her Health & Safety is her own responsibility, as it says on all the workplace H&S notices.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What I really want to know is, why do so many guys feel *entitled* to call women whatever they want - even if the women don't like it?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What I really want to know is, why do so many guys feel *entitled* to call women whatever they want - even if the women don't like it?"

How would a complete stranger know?

If I bumped into a women in the street for example my immediate reaction would be "so sorry love I didn't see you there"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What I really want to know is, why do so many guys feel *entitled* to call women whatever they want - even if the women don't like it?

How would a complete stranger know?

If I bumped into a women in the street for example my immediate reaction would be "so sorry love I didn't see you there"

Why can't you just say 'so sorry, I didn't see you there'?

Why do you have to include a pet name for someone?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What I really want to know is, why do so many guys feel *entitled* to call women whatever they want - even if the women don't like it?

How would a complete stranger know?

If I bumped into a women in the street for example my immediate reaction would be "so sorry love I didn't see you there"

Why can't you just say 'so sorry, I didn't see you there'?

Why do you have to include a pet name for someone?"

If you don't *know* that someone likes something, then just don't do it! I don't understand how this is such a hard concept.

If I don't know if someone wants tea or not, I don't make it for them.

If I don't know if someone wants to be sexually touched, then I don't touch them.

And if I don't know if someone likes a particular pet name, then I don't call them it!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What I really want to know is, why do so many guys feel *entitled* to call women whatever they want - even if the women don't like it?

How would a complete stranger know?

If I bumped into a women in the street for example my immediate reaction would be "so sorry love I didn't see you there"

Why can't you just say 'so sorry, I didn't see you there'?

Why do you have to include a pet name for someone?"

Because it's classed as being polite where we live. Nothing less nothing more.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Really hate it when peoples disliking of something trivial spills over to me as the person doing it,

It's the other persons problem they should deal with it, why tell me, what do they want me to do about it, Get a grip,

male or female they get mate, don't like it the exits are here here here and here

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What I really want to know is, why do so many guys feel *entitled* to call women whatever they want - even if the women don't like it?

How would a complete stranger know?

If I bumped into a women in the street for example my immediate reaction would be "so sorry love I didn't see you there"

Why can't you just say 'so sorry, I didn't see you there'?

Why do you have to include a pet name for someone?

Because it's classed as being polite where we live. Nothing less nothing more. "

But times change and people move around the country.

It's a bit like my granddad. I used to say to him 'granddad, you can't call gay men faggots, it's not very kind'. And he used to say 'well in London when I was younger that was what we all called them'.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Really hate it when peoples disliking of something trivial spills over to me as the person doing it,

It's the other persons problem they should deal with it, why tell me, what do they want me to do about it, Get a grip,

male or female they get mate, don't like it the exits are here here here and here"

Why should someone have to put up with your personal preferences while doing their job? Why can't you just restrain from doing things that lots of people don't like? After all, people can't just leave their jobs. The exists aren't 'here, here and here' because quitting your job means poverty for many. Their option is to put up with something they don't like. You could, instead, just refrain from calling people names they don't like.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What I really want to know is, why do so many guys feel *entitled* to call women whatever they want - even if the women don't like it?

How would a complete stranger know?

If I bumped into a women in the street for example my immediate reaction would be "so sorry love I didn't see you there"

Get out of my fucking way love - offensive.

Get out of my fucking way - not offensive.

Simple, isn't it?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What I really want to know is, why do so many guys feel *entitled* to call women whatever they want - even if the women don't like it?

How would a complete stranger know?

If I bumped into a women in the street for example my immediate reaction would be "so sorry love I didn't see you there"

Why can't you just say 'so sorry, I didn't see you there'?

Why do you have to include a pet name for someone?

Because it's classed as being polite where we live. Nothing less nothing more.

But times change and people move around the country.

the entire country has different words, pet,duck,hen,love,mate,cock...it's just an informal way of addressing someone who you don't know.

I've never encountered anyone focusing on being called love over the fact that I've taken the time to apologise.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Context and tone is all.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Really hate it when peoples disliking of something trivial spills over to me as the person doing it,

It's the other persons problem they should deal with it, why tell me, what do they want me to do about it, Get a grip,

male or female they get mate, don't like it the exits are here here here and here

Comes down to intention,

If the perpetrator intended to offend/degrade then that's wrong

If the perpetrator intend to be polite but picked a word that wasn't in this particular ladies allow list although it is many others then fa fooks sake

Where men. Either unify your requirements wear them on a badge or learn to live with mistakes

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Really hate it when peoples disliking of something trivial spills over to me as the person doing it,

It's the other persons problem they should deal with it, why tell me, what do they want me to do about it, Get a grip,

male or female they get mate, don't like it the exits are here here here and here

Comes down to intention,

If the perpetrator intended to offend/degrade then that's wrong

If the perpetrator intend to be polite but picked a word that wasn't in this particular ladies allow list although it is many others then fa fooks sake

Where men. Either unify your requirements wear them on a badge or learn to live with mistakes "

I usually just call them 'boy' until they realise the inappropriateness of their language.

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By *urvyemmaWoman over a year ago

wigan/bolton

"What I really want to know is, why do so many guys feel *entitled* to call women whatever they want - even if the women don't like it?

How would a complete stranger know?

If I bumped into a women in the street for example my immediate reaction would be "so sorry love I didn't see you there"

Why can't you just say 'so sorry, I didn't see you there'?

Why do you have to include a pet name for someone?

If you don't *know* that someone likes something, then just don't do it! I don't understand how this is such a hard concept.

If I don't know if someone wants tea or not, I don't make it for them.

If I don't know if someone wants to be sexually touched, then I don't touch them.

And if I don't know if someone likes a particular pet name, then I don't call them it!"

This this this

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"learn to live with mistakes "

I also just wanted to add - I can live with mistakes.

What I really hate though is when people have been told 'lots of people don't like this' and yet people still keep doing it.

That's not a mistake. That's a choice.

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"Context and tone is all."
I didn't bother reading all the threads but this reply is likely to be a useful guide to taking offence or not.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Context and tone is all. I didn't bother reading all the threads but this reply is likely to be a useful guide to taking offence or not. "

It's served me well Steve. The man who boxed me in with his flat bed truck and then hurled abuse at me ending with a spat out "love" and a snarl offended me. The man who saw me trip and said "you ok love?" didn't.

We need to cut each other a little slack it makes life more pleasant.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Well to reply to most of threads the delivery woman came in today and said she was really sorry ( without a delivery for company )she said she felt awful afterwards which was fine (think she read this post tbh ) she did say she had a bad day and a lot going on in her head also I'm the owner of the company but I'd rather work the shop floor than the office my employees call me all sort if names to my faces do me to them I don't take offence nor do they and its a mixed work force it's just banter at work but thank you for your input and opinions

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You truly are a fantasist.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Well to reply to most of threads the delivery woman came in today and said she was really sorry ( without a delivery for company )she said she felt awful afterwards which was fine (think she read this post tbh ) she did say she had a bad day and a lot going on in her head also I'm the owner of the company but I'd rather work the shop floor than the office my employees call me all sort if names to my faces do me to them I don't take offence nor do they and its a mixed work force it's just banter at work but thank you for your input and opinions "

Good on her. Takes guts to admit she over reacted.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

She needs to get a grip, different people use different names my dad used to call everyone "me duck" the workman I had here the other day kept calling me sweetie.

Far more important things in life, if I pulled someone up on the words I don't like in general I'd be here for ever more.

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By *irtyGirlWoman over a year ago

Edinburgh

"She needs to get a grip, different people use different names my dad used to call everyone "me duck" the workman I had here the other day kept calling me sweetie.

Far more important things in life, if I pulled someone up on the words I don't like in general I'd be here for ever more.

She got a grip!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Good on her. Takes guts to admit she over reacted."

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Really hate it when peoples disliking of something trivial spills over to me as the person doing it,

It's the other persons problem they should deal with it, why tell me, what do they want me to do about it, Get a grip,

male or female they get mate, don't like it the exits are here here here and here

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

Of only terms of endearment used by others were all I had to worry about I'd be a happy bunny (or duck, or lovie, or dear

)

No wonder people don't speak to other people these days!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I (he) went in a pub in Leeds and saw someone I hadn't seen in years, a rough gravelly voiced bloke. He said to me "Hello Tony flower, how you doing love?"

It's just how people talk, more so up North admittedly, but seriously, there's nothing even remotely sexist behind it. It's just a language mechanism to denote there's no hostility to someone who you don't know the name of. Getting arsey over it makes you the arse, not the person who said it.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Of only terms of endearment used by others were all I had to worry about I'd be a happy bunny (or duck, or lovie, or dear

)

No wonder people don't speak to other people these days!!"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I personally think hun is a bit common. Proably added to try and get more words in a sentence. Not something I associate with the real world, only a thing on sites like this.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

All of what you say above just detracts from the simple point.

Don't use pet names for people doing a job.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

N.B. You THINK your employees don't take offence.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I (he) went in a pub in Leeds and saw someone I hadn't seen in years, a rough gravelly voiced bloke. He said to me "Hello Tony flower, how you doing love?"

You've just said that the person you met in the pub was a friend and you spoke to each other as friends do.

The O.P. was not talking about friends. That is not a difficult distinction to make and understand.

People who object are not 'arsey' they express a preference to be treated with respect when doing their job.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I (he) went in a pub in Leeds and saw someone I hadn't seen in years, a rough gravelly voiced bloke. He said to me "Hello Tony flower, how you doing love?"

You've just said that the person you met in the pub was a friend and you spoke to each other as friends do.

The O.P. was not talking about friends. That is not a difficult distinction to make and understand.

People who object are not 'arsey' they express a preference to be treated with respect when doing their job.

It was an example of people using 'flower' and 'love' in Leeds man to man.

The second part was about using these terms for strangers, I thought it was obvious, but apparently not to those who seek offence in the unlikeliest places.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

Is being friendly a sign of being disrespectful?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I (he) went in a pub in Leeds and saw someone I hadn't seen in years, a rough gravelly voiced bloke. He said to me "Hello Tony flower, how you doing love?"

You've just said that the person you met in the pub was a friend and you spoke to each other as friends do.

The O.P. was not talking about friends. That is not a difficult distinction to make and understand.

People who object are not 'arsey' they express a preference to be treated with respect when doing their job.

It was an example of people using 'flower' and 'love' in Leeds man to man.

The second part was about using these terms for strangers, I thought it was obvious, but apparently not to those who seek offence in the unlikeliest places."

If you mean me. I don't take offence lightly and haven't taken offence at anything you've said.

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