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What's the stupidest thing someone has sed to you .
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've never laughed so much in my life the guy I work with come out with a classic driving past a farm near leeds there's a big oak tree guess what he says ...Oh wow! Is that a potato tree? Ribs still hurt  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My aunt once rang my mum to tell her she had lost her phone number and could mum give it to her again. She read the number out to her whilst she wrote it down and then wondered why we were all laughing when she put the phone down
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Driving in the car with our 23 year old daughter and she said ... " mum is that doctor Jones driving that post van ? " .... After I stopped laughing I said ... " are you real ....is the pope Catholic ? " her reply was .... " I don't know is he " ..... She has dark hair and has always had a blonde streak in her hair about half inch thick , it often gets blamed for some of her comments lol   |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
"Me to patients. Just a little scratch!!!"
Argh that one drives me crazy!!!!! Are you going to stick a needle in me? Right then its not going to be a scratch, or a tickle or anything else. Do you know exactly what it will feel like? It will feel like a needle going into my arm! I have had many injections and blood tests done over the years and I know exactly what it feels like! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A guy called me a slut yesterday - for NOT sleeping with him! Male logic.
I have come out with some corkers in my time, I think the most notable one of all was when we were playing tomb raider and meant to be revising for end of uni final exams, and I was a bit stressed: 'wait no. the alphabet is older than man.'
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I used to tell Americans that, in the UK, when yr 21 you get a telegram from the Palace and go and have tea with the Queen.
"YOU'VE had tea with the Queen?!"
Uh, lol."
Its not difficult confusing many americans. Once convinced a couple of ladies on a night out that I worked for the BBC as a wildlife cameraman and I was filming the great north american beaver..
Or another night where my story was that I was a professional cookie taster...
Or that I was a scottish laird who lived in eilan donan castle.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Speaking to an American lady online once. She said "oh I love your accent, say something in English for me". We had already been talking for 20 minutes.... In English!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Told a couple we could not meet when they wanted to meet us because of our daughter they asked us to fetch our daughter said she had to start some time she was 13 never met the couple"
wtf?! I'm guessing you hit block super fast |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Someone asked me if I supported Norwich today.
The fact I mention that in my profile & I'm wearing a Norwich top in one of my pics wasn't a big enough clue "
In fairness you could of just lost a bet 
*Walks away slowly* |
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"Do you like music? Me too!" - SERIOUSLY?!
(When quite clearly 8 months pregnant) "Can I nick a tampon?".
"Oh wow, Amy's pregnant? I don't mind. Can we do bareback then? She can't get pregnant if she's already pregnant?". 
- Amy. x |
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By *horltzMan
over a year ago
heysham |
A few years ago , I was working on a housing estate renewing the water mains .
It is standard procedure to card the street with 24 hours notice , informing that the water supply will be switched off during the works .
I arrived the following morning , and a young lady came towards me and asked "will the hot and cold water both be getting switched off today?" Hahaaa |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A few years ago , I was working on a housing estate renewing the water mains .
It is standard procedure to card the street with 24 hours notice , informing that the water supply will be switched off during the works .
I arrived the following morning , and a young lady came towards me and asked "will the hot and cold water both be getting switched off today?" Hahaaa"
That is amazing! |
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By *horltzMan
over a year ago
heysham |
"A few years ago , I was working on a housing estate renewing the water mains .
It is standard procedure to card the street with 24 hours notice , informing that the water supply will be switched off during the works .
I arrived the following morning , and a young lady came towards me and asked "will the hot and cold water both be getting switched off today?" Hahaaa
That is amazing! "
I was a bit mean though,I told her I wasn'ts ure and sent her to ask one of the lads |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Me to patients. Just a little scratch!!!
Argh that one drives me crazy!!!!! Are you going to stick a needle in me? Right then its not going to be a scratch, or a tickle or anything else. Do you know exactly what it will feel like? It will feel like a needle going into my arm! I have had many injections and blood tests done over the years and I know exactly what it feels like!"
. He he. Ok then. Just a little prick |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Telling someone she could use her travel card to come to mine.
when I told her what zone I was in she said - are you sure? no, I just make this stuff up.
Then, another time - she was sucking my cock * said 'you want to get circumcised'? Yeah course, pass the knife.
Another time - she took her trainers out a bag, to wear as she was leaving. They were covered in grass, which she then distributed all over the landing. she then blamed the mess on U.S. Having a carpet there. It's the carpets fault for being there.
All the same girl
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"Telling someone she could use her travel card to come to mine.
when I told her what zone I was in she said - are you sure? no, I just make this stuff up.
Then, another time - she was sucking my cock * said 'you want to get circumcised'? Yeah course, pass the knife.
Another time - she took her trainers out a bag, to wear as she was leaving. They were covered in grass, which she then distributed all over the landing. she then blamed the mess on U.S. Having a carpet there. It's the carpets fault for being there.
All the same girl
"
Hope you met her for her looks ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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After watching a wildlife documentary my mates gf tried to tell him that lemurs must be filled with helium or something. .just look at the way they jump...he tried and failed to to explain that it was in slow motion
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My mates wife was so upset when his nan went blind, she swore through her tears that she was going to learn brail so she could read to her, she's such a sweetheart, same girl went into kfc with us, and while ordering she asked for a corn on the cob, " but can I have a wholemeal cob because I'm in a diet |
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Not what somebody said to me but something I said
Once was with a girl I met via her half sister and had said they look nothing alike but just as I came I said 'God you don't half look like your sister from this angle' before spending the next two hours trying to convince her I'd not slept with her sister (which I actually hadn't at that point) |
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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
This happened only two weeks ago.
I'm due to have Eye Surgery next week, for which I had a Pre-Surgery assessment 10 days ago. Part of that involved basic eyesight checks, conducted by the nurse, who had my file in front of her but hadn't obviously looked it over fully.
I don't have any sight in my left eye due to a birth defect, but she insisted on checking the sight in that eye, despite me saying it was a pointless action.
Once complete, she then asked, "Do you know you have a sight issue in your Left Eye?" She was deadly serious! I replied, "Have you listened to a word I said, or even read my notes?", only for her to say, "I'm the Expert here, not you!"
Ye Gods, that was me told! |
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