FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Bernard Mathews

Bernard Mathews

Jump to: Newest in thread

By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

Has died aged 80

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

hope his funeral is boootiful... really boootiful....

c'mon, ya were all thinking it...!!!

too soon????

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *nothercoupleCouple over a year ago

Exeter

I can hear the turkeys sighing with relief from here!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i hope so to _abio, but its more likely to be a turkey

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ottyhunkCouple over a year ago

Leyburn

He will be cremated next week on Gas Mark 7 for 3 hours!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

lmao

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

Damn, I must repost.......lmao at the last joke and not for the man dying

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I do a 10 km road race at Christmas called The Turkey Trot. Will do it in his memory this year. x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

God bless him.

sleep well x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There'll be millions of turkeys waiting for him to enter the pearly gates shouting, "That's him, that's tha bastard over there - get him lads"

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wonders if he will have a drummer @ his funeral?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Expect all the food at the wake will be gobbbbble gobbbble up !

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *oDownEasyMan over a year ago

Ayrshire

"Expect all the food at the wake will be gobbbbble gobbbble up !"

And if you cant make it in time, no problems as there will be plenty of leftovers

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No not too soon.. His food was shite anyway!!!!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ottyhunkCouple over a year ago

Leyburn

James Blunt is releasing a single in memory of Bernard Matthews, which will be entitled "Your bootiful, your bootiful..."

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Bernard Matthew's body now only weighs 3 stone after the coroner drained the water out of him.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"He will be cremated next week on Gas Mark 7 for 3 hours!"

very good

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ottyhunkCouple over a year ago

Leyburn

After Bernard Matthews funeral there will be a buffet in the village hall, followed by another the next day and a curry the day after that!!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"After Bernard Matthews funeral there will be a buffet in the village hall, followed by another the next day and a curry the day after that!!"

totty how many texts did you get on this subject lol.

if you ask me its all fowl

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *oDownEasyMan over a year ago

Ayrshire

"if you ask me its all fowl

Well, the Police do suspect fowl play!

Prime suspects.....75 million turkeys

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *irtydanMan over a year ago

Blackpool

"He will be cremated next week on Gas Mark 7 for 3 hours!"
lol very good

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"He will be cremated next week on Gas Mark 7 for 3 hours!"

that was a real "coffee spitter" moment

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i heard he was pecked to death.

but i think choking on one of his own products is the real cause of death

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *amschwingerzCouple over a year ago

West

All these jokes about the death of Bernard Matthews are really a bit tasteless....

O the irony!!!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Bernard Matthews.

Best before 24/11/2010

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

And to top it all... he died on Thanksgiving Day.. how appropriate lol

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

always reminds me of a dell boy line from Only Fools..... "i feel like a turkey thats just seen Bernard Matthews grinning at it" lol

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ikeriderMan over a year ago

prestatyn

May he 'roast in peace'

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/11/10 02:29:30]

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago
Forum Mod

"Bernard Matthews.

Best before 24/11/2010"

LMAO

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"He will be cremated next week on Gas Mark 7 for 3 hours!"

Nigella says he should be soaked in brine for 24 hours but Jamie insists he should have butter rubbed under his skin

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Mrs Matthews "good news and bad news kids....bad news, your dad's died...good news, we're having beef tonight!"

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Bernard's family is said to be devastated after reading the will...

Apparently he left them a poultry amount...

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

He well and truly stuffed now

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

» Add a new message to this topic