FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > why don't women answer?
why don't women answer?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So after years of being on here I've thought it best to ignore men I'm not interested rather than give them an explanation. Thought a change of tack was in order after all the posts from single guys stating they Just want an answer, so decided to politely decline. Guess what the first one was abusive.... Think it's back to ignoring for me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So after years of being on here I've thought it best to ignore men I'm not interested rather than give them an explanation. Thought a change of tack was in order after all the posts from single guys stating they Just want an answer, so decided to politely decline. Guess what the first one was abusive.... Think it's back to ignoring for me "
Sadly some men can handle the fact that a woman on a sex site has a reason for turning them down. Such a shame to see adults who are less grown up than some young individuals. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Were you surprised OP?
A"
Not at all to be honest, but secretly hoping that my scepticism might be unfounded and a new breed of fab men would restore my faith in mankind 
Joking I know all men are not the same but it's just not worth replying. So to all you good guys I apologise in advance  |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Were you surprised OP?
A
Not at all to be honest, but secretly hoping that my scepticism might be unfounded and a new breed of fab men would restore my faith in mankind
Joking I know all men are not the same but it's just not worth replying. So to all you good guys I apologise in advance "
Just pop a line in your profile saying you won't respond to profiles/messages you're not interested in.
An explanation shouldn't be needed but at least putting that will forewarn the 'nice guys' and the muppets who'd get abusive probably wouldn't read it anyway.
And also block anyone you'd never be interested in ever.
A |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Were you surprised OP?
A
Not at all to be honest, but secretly hoping that my scepticism might be unfounded and a new breed of fab men would restore my faith in mankind
Joking I know all men are not the same but it's just not worth replying. So to all you good guys I apologise in advance
Just pop a line in your profile saying you won't respond to profiles/messages you're not interested in.
An explanation shouldn't be needed but at least putting that will forewarn the 'nice guys' and the muppets who'd get abusive probably wouldn't read it anyway.
And also block anyone you'd never be interested in ever.
A"
It's already on there but as you say it's the knobs who become abusive that won't read in the first instance. My block list is enormous!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some men are dicks.
Nothing more.
Men ruin this site for other men. Muppets."
No they don't. Some women and couples are rude and abusive in their replies (if they bother to reply) and the guys get fed up. Negativity breeds negativity. Treat people how you would like to be treated. It makes life much nicer. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Some men are dicks.
Nothing more.
Men ruin this site for other men. Muppets."
Nobody ruins anything for anyone other than themselves.
If I chose to be a total dick it wouldn't affect you at all - and vice versa.
It's another of the classic 'get out of jail free' cards that many like to use to blame anyone but themselves for their life on site.
A |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Some men are dicks.
Nothing more.
Men ruin this site for other men. Muppets.
Do I ?  sorry guys !!!!"
Lol I certainly don't judge the many by the actions of the few (or vice versa) but I assume it's frustrating for people when others, like me, refuse to reply because of their actions.  |
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"Some men are dicks.
Nothing more.
Men ruin this site for other men. Muppets.
No they don't. Some women and couples are rude and abusive in their replies (if they bother to reply) and the guys get fed up. Negativity breeds negativity. Treat people how you would like to be treated. It makes life much nicer."
This!
Like all things in life, it's a cycle. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some men are dicks.
Nothing more.
Men ruin this site for other men. Muppets.
Do I ? sorry guys !!!!
Lol I certainly don't judge the many by the actions of the few (or vice versa) but I assume it's frustrating for people when others, like me, refuse to reply because of their actions. "
Not at all. No reply is obvious and avoids ambiguity. A read and deleted message is a perfect response. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Like you I thought I'd always reply even to say no thank you, to which I get " you must be slightly intrigued or you wouldn't of replied " but mostly I get you should be grateful anyone's interested in you as no guy would normally  Yes I block |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Were you surprised OP?
A
To be fair, I rarely get an abusive reply.
Most men are actually really polite when I say I'm not interested."
I agree. Most guys are very polite when we say no thanks. I think the couples are usually the only ones who have ever been snippy back.
But I'm sorry you had that experience OP. It is a shame it has turned you off replying, but I can understand where you're coming from.
-Courtney |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I try to answer everyone but I found some being rude if I say a polite no thanks.
You can't win hun what ever u do..your dammed if you do and dammed if you don't. ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most of the time I get a read/deleted message and take that as a not interested. The one negative reply I've had I didn't reply to as I didn't see much point other than a "thanks for responding" which I didn't really see the point of doing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I prefer getting a thanks but no thanks reply but at the same I can understand that if abusive messages get sent then that's why some women just delete. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So after years of being on here I've thought it best to ignore men I'm not interested rather than give them an explanation. Thought a change of tack was in order after all the posts from single guys stating they Just want an answer, so decided to politely decline. Guess what the first one was abusive.... Think it's back to ignoring for me "
I've only ever had an appreciative response from the ones I've knocked back politely with a message. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some men are dicks.
Nothing more.
Men ruin this site for other men. Muppets.
No they don't. Some women and couples are rude and abusive in their replies (if they bother to reply) and the guys get fed up. Negativity breeds negativity. Treat people how you would like to be treated. It makes life much nicer."
Well said . |
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"Were you surprised OP?
A
To be fair, I rarely get an abusive reply.
Most men are actually really polite when I say I'm not interested."
That's generally what happens to me too. My block list is completely empty cause I haven't felt the need to use it. I generally do respond to pretty much everyone who appears to have read my profile. Those who haven't, I tend to delete. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Were you surprised OP?
A
To be fair, I rarely get an abusive reply.
Most men are actually really polite when I say I'm not interested.
That's generally what happens to me too. My block list is completely empty cause I haven't felt the need to use it. I generally do respond to pretty much everyone who appears to have read my profile. Those who haven't, I tend to delete. "
Oh stop being so smug with your massive inbox that's so neatly organised. People like you make me want to send abusive messages, but you'd only take offence and delete it with no reply.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oddly enough I don't get abusive comments back just why or if its due to the distance, I get 'I can travel' or they argue over the length of travel time compared to the RAC route planner website  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find that a lot of 'established' people on this site just won't give new people the time and day and are arrogant and rude and quite often have a mob mentality on forums etc.
People just need a break because how are you meant to become 'verified' and 'established' if no one will give you the chance in the first place.
Newbies should be embraced not shunned and we should all get along as we are all here for the same thing (sort of) . |
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I don't usually get a bad reply. I tend to say thank you for your message, then that im not interested but hope they have fun anyway and to take care. Seems to work and I've had some very respectful replies back |
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"I don't usually get a bad reply. I tend to say thank you for your message, then that im not interested but hope they have fun anyway and to take care. Seems to work and I've had some very respectful replies back"
Saying that I don't reply to all! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't usually get a bad reply. I tend to say thank you for your message, then that im not interested but hope they have fun anyway and to take care. Seems to work and I've had some very respectful replies back"
This is pretty much what we do, and with the same results. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to reply with a 'no thanks' to all messages & received mixed responses to be fair, which I expected.
Now I reply every now and then.
I agree tho that it's a viscous circle with the negativity breeding negativity.
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"Were you surprised OP?
A
To be fair, I rarely get an abusive reply.
Most men are actually really polite when I say I'm not interested.
That's generally what happens to me too. My block list is completely empty cause I haven't felt the need to use it. I generally do respond to pretty much everyone who appears to have read my profile. Those who haven't, I tend to delete.
Oh stop being so smug with your massive inbox that's so neatly organised. People like you make me want to send abusive messages, but you'd only take offence and delete it with no reply. "
Ooooh g'wan... give it your best shot and I'll mark it out of ten! |
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I politely declined someone who was pretty keen after a couple of messages about psychology, and got told Neitzsche wouldn't piss on me if I was on fire and that I obviously had no taste anyway judging by the people I HAD met....I think there was a 'bitch' thrown in there somewhere too, lol!
Back to deleting......  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm always polite and if I receive a no thank you I always respond with 'no problem, happy hunting'"
It doesn't particularly bother me if a guy responses after I've said no but if I've got a meet up it does as it doubles my already full inbox  xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm always polite and if I receive a no thank you I always respond with 'no problem, happy hunting'"
So do I, made some friends/contacts via that method who I chat too on reg basis, it pays to be nice |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I politely declined someone who was pretty keen after a couple of messages about psychology, and got told Neitzsche wouldn't piss on me if I was on fire and that I obviously had no taste anyway judging by the people I HAD met....I think there was a 'bitch' thrown in there somewhere too, lol!
Back to deleting...... "
I had one of those. A slag and a race card |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've heard this from couples and single females that they get abuse from a guy if they message and decline.
I've never understood the mentality. Its hardly likely to make the recipient change their mind!
It's always nice to get a reply even if negative. And like others I usually thank them for the reply. After all many don't bother. Which is entirely understandable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find that a lot of 'established' people on this site just won't give new people the time and day and are arrogant and rude and quite often have a mob mentality on forums etc.
People just need a break because how are you meant to become 'verified' and 'established' if no one will give you the chance in the first place.
Newbies should be embraced not shunned and we should all get along as we are all here for the same thing (sort of) ."
To be fair though you did copy and paste someone else's profile and didn't understand why it was wrong so if people were rude to you, you only have yourself to blame |
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"So after years of being on here I've thought it best to ignore men I'm not interested rather than give them an explanation. Thought a change of tack was in order after all the posts from single guys stating they Just want an answer, so decided to politely decline. Guess what the first one was abusive.... Think it's back to ignoring for me "
Come on now: were you really surprised?!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Look I made a mistake do you really need to carry on like I've killed someone some 48 hours later "
It was the fact you didn't seem to think you'd done anything wrong & gave a half hearted apology that I found sad. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So after years of being on here I've thought it best to ignore men I'm not interested rather than give them an explanation. Thought a change of tack was in order after all the posts from single guys stating they Just want an answer, so decided to politely decline. Guess what the first one was abusive.... Think it's back to ignoring for me "
We reply to those worth replying to, ie those that are polite and have read our profile and include pics etc.
Those that make it clear they are totally selfish in their wants or treat us as a single female get blocked usually.
So far we've only had a couple of rude replies to our 'no thanks' message, as in all walks of life, some people are just plain rude. |
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I just had a second person send me several pics with a first message, including one of our very own Shaggers torso!I I pointed out his error in stealing such a well known six pack, and he tried to convince me Shaggers was the faker!!! Lol! |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Look I made a mistake do you really need to carry on like I've killed someone some 48 hours later
It was the fact you didn't seem to think you'd done anything wrong & gave a half hearted apology that I found sad."
That wasn't an apology. That was dummy throwing on an epic scale. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Look I made a mistake do you really need to carry on like I've killed someone some 48 hours later "
You need to learn fast round here. No matter what you say, when on the back foot - just stick a few emotis at the end of your sentence.
Say mix up a green face with a few winkys, you know cover da bases.
All will be forgiven |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"its not just men who get pissy ...we've said no to a few couples and they have got full on pissy lol"
We've found couples who don't show pics of the male, then you ask for pics and he's not what mrs is looking for they do get the hump about it. So now we don't ask for pics, if they're not on the profile we skip them. |
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Well I was going to say that I normally send a polite message to say 'thanks but no thanks' and get polite response in return but just 10 minutes ago I was asked why I've said no so I was honest and said he wasn't my type, then I got a barrage of abuse and a 'ps' message to say I'm too fat anyway!! So I'm now thinking just delete in future |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just had a second person send me several pics with a first message, including one of our very own Shaggers torso!I I pointed out his error in stealing such a well known six pack, and he tried to convince me Shaggers was the faker!!! Lol! "
lol ty and yes it have happened few times. It would be fun if he met some and he was big. wouldn't it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"he tried to convince me Shaggers was the faker!!! Lol!
Shag!! You faker you!
I knew it!! lol seems my torso is popular "
I think I might use your torso in my pics too, see how many fabs I can get  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"he tried to convince me Shaggers was the faker!!! Lol!
Shag!! You faker you!
I knew it!! lol seems my torso is popular
I think I might use your torso in my pics too, see how many fabs I can get "
Yes that actually would be a good idea there and see how many  |
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"I just had a second person send me several pics with a first message, including one of our very own Shaggers torso!I I pointed out his error in stealing such a well known six pack, and he tried to convince me Shaggers was the faker!!! Lol! lol ty and yes it have happened few times. It would be fun if he met some and he was big. wouldn't it."
He had lots of other pics but I told him I could not trust any cos I knew he had stolen that one! He told me to dream on and blocked me lol! Quelle domage! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just had a second person send me several pics with a first message, including one of our very own Shaggers torso!I I pointed out his error in stealing such a well known six pack, and he tried to convince me Shaggers was the faker!!! Lol! lol ty and yes it have happened few times. It would be fun if he met some and he was big. wouldn't it.
He had lots of other pics but I told him I could not trust any cos I knew he had stolen that one! He told me to dream on and blocked me lol! Quelle domage! "
That's right as you can see it doesn't match his others pic kinda thing, yeah I guess he did it as you found him out lol |
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