FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Is it for me ?
Is it for me ?
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Had my 2nd meet with a different Lady.Both have been very enjoyable,but I have come away from both feeling guilty.
As much as I chat to Women on here,and say it's just NSA fun.I find myself basically fear of treating them badly,and worrying about things they tell me that's going on.
Realisig to say "fuck you,and chuck you" is hard.
I'm not blaming either of the girls.More me thinking I can have no emotions the problem.
Just me ? Or anyone else found it ? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Thanks.
Odd thing is as mad as it sounds,meeting up just for sex seems odd to me(I'm new on here,and probably very old school in thought,and on the wrong website)
But it just seems so pre arranged(no having to work for it) just feels too easy.
I'm not knocking anyone off here.I understand what the site is about.
It's just harder than I thought(which even I find odd)
Thanks anyway Buddy.
Finding pre arranged Sex without emotion is not as easy as it seems.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I was waiting for this to be questioned.
I can't help that if they don't I'm afraid.
It seems to me that people with veris seem to look down on people that don't.
Personally for me I couldn't care less if I never get a veri(as my post would suggest,I'm still not sure it's for me)
More bothered about how I feel,rather than whether you think I'm a blagger.
Would I go to all this effort if I was ? Really ?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
What are you wanting? Loads of female responses clucking over you and saying 'there there - it's all ok'? You know what the scene is about - if you're not happy don't do it!
Just another 'look at me' thread!   |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I was waiting for this to be questioned.
I can't help that if they don't I'm afraid.
It seems to me that people with veris seem to look down on people that don't.
Personally for me I couldn't care less if I never get a veri(as my post would suggest,I'm still not sure it's for me)
More bothered about how I feel,rather than whether you think I'm a blagger.
Would I go to all this effort if I was ? Really ?
"
I'm sure you will cope.. very sceptical of people who say they have met others but have no veris.. 2 meets in 3 weeks since joining on a site where you admit to not really sure if you should be on ? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
On one hand you say on your profile you're single by choice and prefer it that way (the implication to me - although I accept that I may have misinterpreted this - is that no strings sex is what you're after and you're not interested in a relationship or anything more meaningful) yet on this thread you are saying no strings sex doesn't feel right and might not be for you?
Without meaning to sound harsh or critical (and I know it will sound like that in the written word, but that's certainly not the intention!) is it a case of wanting to have your cake and eat it? i.e. the benefits of 'meaningful' sex with someone you have have feelings for but without the constraint of a relationship so you're free to play the field?
Anyway, good luck in what you do and what you're looking for - if only sex and emotions could easily be separated! Happy Fabbing! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I understand what your saying,but I could have had more meets if I had chosen.
I joined this site,I have stated Im still unsure if it's for me.
If I was going to lie I would have said more than 2 meets in 21 days(in my opinion)
I'm alive a kicking,speak no lies,and really not that bothered who believes me or not.
We seem to have drifted away from my original question! BUt thank you for your concern. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You'd be amazed at just how much effort some will put in. If you have realised it's not for you, why post?"
To be fair it's a public swinging forum and he can post what he wants! I'm sure he could validly counter back to you why reply?
His question was about swinging and his feelings on it etc so a perfectly valid topic in my humble opinion.
Certainly no less valid than most of the threads that people post on here! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Maybe take a little more time and get to know your intended partners a little better. I rarely meet without getting to know my "victims" first. They are all people that I like and have a connection with.
Maybe you could re-write your profile to reflect this?
Don't get me wrong, there is still a place for stranger-sex in my life, neither am I monogomous, but building a few select partners is what I find more fulfilling x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
THANK YOU.
At last someone see's my point.
I'm not on here to brag about 2 meets(whick most of you don't believe anyway)
The thread is about how I feel.
And I'm not knocking anyone on here,and yes I know what the Website is about.
But it's harder than I thought Maybe its just me.
Sorry
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Female half here. Only you can decide if it's right for you. I've found a number of people can't separate sex and emotions. As a result things can get messy. When I played as a single female I preferred regular to one off meets as I found the sex got better. Even so, I would never have talked about personal issues or expected someone to be concerned after. That's what I have friends for. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I find it easy to not see them again, with nsa u have leave ur feelings at the door as she goes. Just have it down as a great time and one for the memories  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Thank you.
Looking at the sensible replies maybe it is me(by that I mean I like to chat etc and get to know)
Maybe I'm not cut out for it.
(never thought having a shag would be so hard ??) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Thank you.
Looking at the sensible replies maybe it is me(by that I mean I like to chat etc and get to know)
Maybe I'm not cut out for it.
(never thought having a shag would be so hard ??)"
Stop moaning and delete your profile then if you don't like it? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Good morning 
1. Have you looked when you log on there is usually a little link saying that a verification is waiting or has been added it's to the left. You may have missed it.
2. Have you messaged one of them and asked for a simple veri e.g. Met this man he is who he says he is. That might sort the veri problem out.
Stay here. Do not go. Meet more people.
If you are meeting women who complain about what happens to them on here or in their day to day life then you are meeting the wrong women. Maybe that's why you find it 'too easy' as you put it.
It's just psychological. Like most men you are taught respect and that it's wrong to just use people for sex and that sex is not good without love.
You simply need a new mind set. Find ADULT women who are here for the FUN and not a fleeting boyfriend to moan about messages, blocks and timewasters. Fuck my eyes would glaze over 
It will get easier over time. Imagine you've been reared a veggie then your mum gives you a pork chop. You'll eat it cos your starving but you'll feel disgusted with yourself after. Until .... your eating the whole pig.
Have fun x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I cant do that.
The 2 I met bother seemed happy on the outside(but when I dug in a little,both had underlying problems)
My fault for asking I know(but if I wanted to just shag meat I could go the Butchers) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Maybe play the field in a non fab environment, out in the wider world. Many here will be adept at keeping it strictly no strings. In the wider world, you'll be randomly taking your chances.
Or go to clubs, where groups may feel less like a relationship in the making. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thank you.
Looking at the sensible replies maybe it is me(by that I mean I like to chat etc and get to know)
Maybe I'm not cut out for it.
(never thought having a shag would be so hard ??)
Stop moaning and delete your profile then if you don't like it?"
He wasn't moaning, he was just saying how he feels. God, what is wrong with people today? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I cant do that.
The 2 I met bother seemed happy on the outside(but when I dug in a little,both had underlying problems)
My fault for asking I know(but if I wanted to just shag meat I could go the Butchers)"
I promise you, sticking your cock into 2lb of mince isn't the same as a vagina |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thank you.
Looking at the sensible replies maybe it is me(by that I mean I like to chat etc and get to know)
Maybe I'm not cut out for it.
(never thought having a shag would be so hard ??)"
That's because it's not just having a shag to you .
Some may suggest that NSA sex is just a glorified wank . And yes , that's what it is for some .
True NSA sex is devoid of the usual emotions involved with the chase , and the eventual act itself and its a very common thing with genuine singles to feel that it's not enough .
For many it's an itch that needs to be scratched , and as a couple who have each other for all the emotional stuff , that's cool . But for those who go home to an empty bed , it can feel soulless .
If this is the case for the op then it's no bad thing . And maybe it isn't the lifestyle for him . I would say this , all,the time you are on here looking for the answer , you are not going to find the happiness you seek . You could appear clingy and
maybe even demanding to people you meet .
However , there may well be women on here looking for more , like yourself . And if you meet such a a lady' , the two of you could satisfy each other and find happiness . Who knows ?
Just be honest in saying what floats your boat , and be upfront from the start with potential meets . Don't say you are happy with NSA if you're not , they may feel the same way as you .
Good luck |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I cant do that.
The 2 I met bother seemed happy on the outside(but when I dug in a little,both had underlying problems)
My fault for asking I know(but if I wanted to just shag meat I could go the Butchers)
I promise you, sticking your cock into 2lb of mince isn't the same as a vagina"
Make sure it's warm, at least. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
So I get it that you want a connection with the person you're meeting. Build a rapport etc. and in your own words you have been sufficiently interested in them to go 'digging' and have found underlying problems.
But then what? You make a connection or really understand them. Then sleep with them.
Then leave them never to meet again? Or meet them regularly but without the constraint of a relationship?
If you leave them never to meet again how is meeting on here any different than picking up a girl in a club for a one night stand (after you've got to know them a bit)?
If the latter (meet regularly, but no commitment) aren't you really just after a fuck buddy or friend with benefits?
Fab *might* be the place to find a FB or FWB but I guess finding the right person to fill that role will take time. I find most (not all!) on here are after no strings sex which might not fit the FB / FWB description.
Good luck anyway, I hope you find what you're looking for! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I cant do that.
The 2 I met bother seemed happy on the outside(but when I dug in a little,both had underlying problems)
My fault for asking I know(but if I wanted to just shag meat I could go the Butchers)
I promise you, sticking your cock into 2lb of mince isn't the same as a vagina"
Granny have you grown a cock |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I cant do that.
The 2 I met bother seemed happy on the outside(but when I dug in a little,both had underlying problems)
My fault for asking I know(but if I wanted to just shag meat I could go the Butchers)
I promise you, sticking your cock into 2lb of mince isn't the same as a vagina
Granny have you grown a cock "
I wish! You should try getting 2lb of mince out a fajina ! It's not easy! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I cant do that.
The 2 I met bother seemed happy on the outside(but when I dug in a little,both had underlying problems)
My fault for asking I know(but if I wanted to just shag meat I could go the Butchers)
I promise you, sticking your cock into 2lb of mince isn't the same as a vagina
Granny have you grown a cock
I wish! You should try getting 2lb of mince out a fajina ! It's not easy!"
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm sorry that some have given you a hard time on here about this.
I'm not really a no emotions type of girl so fuck and go would never be my style. It doesn't mean there can't be a middle ground. It's about finding what works for you. Ultimately you have to try different approaches and see how you feel. Be respectful and be honest. Most women on here are grown up and have their own agenda too so will appreciate your honesty and probably don't feel like NSA means they are getting used or getting hurt. If anything I'd say many on here are here to avoid those things.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Had my 2nd meet with a different Lady.Both have been very enjoyable,but I have come away from both feeling guilty.
As much as I chat to Women on here,and say it's just NSA fun.I find myself basically fear of treating them badly,and worrying about things they tell me that's going on.
Realisig to say "fuck you,and chuck you" is hard.
I'm not blaming either of the girls.More me thinking I can have no emotions the problem.
Just me ? Or anyone else found it ?"
Good morning Mate.
I would have to say that if you're feeling guilty about your actions, then you're probably in the wrong frame of mind to be in the lifestyle at the moment.
In my view, you should be feeling happy that you've "had your end away" but also pleased that you have provided a service for the ladies who have met you looking for their own sexual needs to be met.
As for the "Fuck 'em, Chuck 'em" concept, that's really where you're going wrong. You need to understand that you're not in a relationship with these ladies and more importantly, they have no expectation of your liaisons evolving into anything more. They are just looking for NSA sexual fun, for their own selfish reasons.
Think of it like helping an old lady across a road. She needs to get across the road, you are available to help her and can do a great job of ensuring her safe arrival on the other side. She won't how-ever be expecting you become her own personal crossing assistant and be there to help her across every road for the rest of her life.
Cal |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
" Think of it like helping an old lady across a road. She needs to get across the road, you are available to help her and can do a great job of ensuring her safe arrival on the other side. She won't how-ever be expecting you become her own personal crossing assistant and be there to help her across every road for the rest of her life.
Cal"
I like this, think I'm gonna pinch it  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
No!
Think of it as you need to help a little old lady across the road and she is more than happy to let you as she needs helping across the road. You both get what you need and then go on your way happily. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'm not a one night girl these days either. I don't want a relationship but nor do I want sex without a connection. Obviously you never really know if that first time will turn into a regular or repeat visit but my intention isn't to fuck and fuck off. It's just a case of finding what works for you and what you're comfortable with.
There's nothing wrong with asking a question about how you're feeling. We all have experiences that we can share whilst maintaining a degree of discretion. It makes me quite sad that the scene is not the same place it was when I started out. People were welcoming and glad to help newbies out with advice and tips. It seems such a harsh world now, we may all be a little jaded and cynical but we shouldn't tar everyone with the same brush. I'm all for giving someone the benefit of the doubt initially, prove me wrong and I'll rip the piss like the next person but we could all cut new folks a little slack and remember that there was a time when we were new to all this too.
Good luck and I hope you find what works best for you. Ask as many questions as you like, there are still some of us who are happy without tin hats.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Anyway OP,it's two people enjoying themselves. No different to having a game of cards together,except you're naked and putting your genitals together. Don't feel bad for the women,even if they tell you their sad life story. It's cathartic for them and you're an ear for them who isn't there to judge. Enjoy the sex and together time and walk away smiling |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"They both seem to have forgot to verify you too
Hardly anyone I met verified me. It's not compulsory and some of us don't need them."
I personally don't like people leaving me veris unless I ask for one. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"They both seem to have forgot to verify you too
Hardly anyone I met verified me. It's not compulsory and some of us don't need them.
I personally don't like people leaving me veris unless I ask for one."
We don't think they are essential .. but very sceptical of those claiming to have meets and no veris not even a veri summary |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
