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Teenagers and alcohol
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What are peoples _iews of letting teenagers drink. My daughter is 13 and having a sleepover. And she has asked for a bottle of lambrini which I have bought her because i would rather her drink sensibly under my roof than some nasty cheap cider on a park bench. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally I find it irresponsible, there’s a huge world of difference between letting teenagers have a little glass of wine at meal time or on special occasions when in adult company than buying them a bottle to take to a sleepover. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Shes only got the one staying over and have checked with her dad. He byuys her a bottle of wine about once a month."
I dont think I'd let mine have a bottle between 2 of them .... a glass each maybe depending on the kid,but no more |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Shes only got the one staying over and have checked with her dad. He byuys her a bottle of wine about once a month.
I dont think I'd let mine have a bottle between 2 of them .... a glass each maybe depending on the kid,but no more"
I agree, half a bottle of wine for a grown women is enough...I would actually only go as far as a small glass with a meal.
Drinking with a lined stomach in sociable circumstances is considered acceptable in most countries...your are talking about drinking perry just for the fun of it.
Would be cautious about that message at an age where they can't process the idea of drinking sensibly |
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By *orestersCouple
over a year ago
The Forest |
I'm no expert on kids, but if you give her your approval to drink alcohol tonight, and she's offered the aforementioned nasty cheap cider on a park bench tomorrow night, would she be more likely to drink it knowing you're ok with her drinking? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't let mine drink at 13 and if I caught her, she'd be grounded for a month and I wouldn't trust her to stay out overnight again. I'm a mean mum lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Read in the paper yesterday about a woman with a 14 year old daughter with tattoos, piercings, allowed to sleep with her boyfriend - she's had four sexual partners in six months, can't be arsed to go to school because she can't be bothered to get up so early to go.
Her mum was there beside her smiling away, agreeing with her daughter and didn't think there was anything wrong.
My point is we all have different _iews on how we raise our children... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm no expert on kids, but if you give her your approval to drink alcohol tonight, and she's offered the aforementioned nasty cheap cider on a park bench tomorrow night, would she be more likely to drink it knowing you're ok with her drinking?"
Good point, but surely mum would emphasise the point to only drink at home and when theres a responsible adult around |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My Daughter has 4 Friends sleeping over tomorrow night, there all 17 and can have some Wine, all Parents have okayed it, she has done this before and the rules are the Wine stays where I can see it and if I spot any of them getting d*unk I remove the drink full stop, to be fair they have never been disrespectful and all behave.
My Daughter was 16 before I allowed her to drink and that was only with me and the ex during a meal, she's not really bothered about the drinking as she's similar to me and can take or leave it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My Daughter has 4 Friends sleeping over tomorrow night, there all 17 and can have some Wine, all Parents have okayed it, she has done this before and the rules are the Wine stays where I can see it and if I spot any of them getting d*unk I remove the drink full stop, to be fair they have never been disrespectful and all behave.
My Daughter was 16 before I allowed her to drink and that was only with me and the ex during a meal, she's not really bothered about the drinking as she's similar to me and can take or leave it "
At 16 I would allow her to drink if I'm there to supervise. It's simply something kids that age don't know how to deal with. I'd rather be strict than have her choking to death on her own vomit or worse, ending up raped or god knows what through drink induced sillyness. I just don't think kids at 13 are old enough to deal with the effects of alcohol, emotionally or physically xx |
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Interesting reading we come from a binge drinking society and the majority here have almost freaked out at the thought of a 13 year old having a glass of weak wine.
A large part of my family are Italian and I've spent a lot of time over there. Children are allowed to drink wine (with water) as young as 8 or 9 yet they have a low alcoholism rate and virtually no binge drinking at all.
Each parent has to make the call for their own children and I would never presume to know what's best for another persons kids but it's an interesting fact all the same. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Interesting reading we come from a binge drinking society and the majority here have almost freaked out at the thought of a 13 year old having a glass of weak wine.
A large part of my family are Italian and I've spent a lot of time over there. Children are allowed to drink wine (with water) as young as 8 or 9 yet they have a low alcoholism rate and virtually no binge drinking at all.
Each parent has to make the call for their own children and I would never presume to know what's best for another persons kids but it's an interesting fact all the same."
i don't think that's the point anyone is making.
seems that the idea of, say, a glass of wine is acceptable...but half a bottle...and this isn't served with a meal either, just a 'sociable' tipple.
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By *aravancoupleMan
over a year ago
A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love |
"Interesting reading we come from a binge drinking society and the majority here have almost freaked out at the thought of a 13 year old having a glass of weak wine.
A large part of my family are Italian and I've spent a lot of time over there. Children are allowed to drink wine (with water) as young as 8 or 9 yet they have a low alcoholism rate and virtually no binge drinking at all.
Each parent has to make the call for their own children and I would never presume to know what's best for another persons kids but it's an interesting fact all the same.
i don't think that's the point anyone is making.
seems that the idea of, say, a glass of wine is acceptable...but half a bottle...and this isn't served with a meal either, just a 'sociable' tipple.
"
agree with you 100% |
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"Interesting reading we come from a binge drinking society and the majority here have almost freaked out at the thought of a 13 year old having a glass of weak wine.
A large part of my family are Italian and I've spent a lot of time over there. Children are allowed to drink wine (with water) as young as 8 or 9 yet they have a low alcoholism rate and virtually no binge drinking at all.
Each parent has to make the call for their own children and I would never presume to know what's best for another persons kids but it's an interesting fact all the same.
i don't think that's the point anyone is making.
seems that the idea of, say, a glass of wine is acceptable...but half a bottle...and this isn't served with a meal either, just a 'sociable' tipple.
"
Got ya, agreed |
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When I was 14 a friends mum used to give us 2 breezers each in the house before going to the night ice skating - to discourage us from sneaking the cheap stuff when out - it was enough to make us act 'tipsy' but there was the odd occasion where we we offered more when out and took it.
it allowed us to feel more open with our parents but did not discourage us in the slightest from having more?
i started drinking when out with friends at 15 and always got more d*unk when drinking everyone elses than i did when i bought my own - simply because i was mixng it and taking it when i was offered...
i dont think there is a right or a wrong answer to this and the most important thing, i feel, is to explain the dangers of what can happen when a young girl is d*unk - especially if she is around people she cannot trust
xAx |
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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago
near kings lynn |
I wasnt allowed any alcohol until I was mature enough to understand about alcohol and not just to say yes mum I understand but to actually understand. My god daughter is 15 and I would not consider offering any alcohol to her. I personally think there are some things you should wait for until your old enough to understand about them like sex,driving a car and also alcohol.
Again as others said that it is different for each child individually as maturity levels are different but very much feel that until they are 15/16 then they can understand more about the effects of alcohol.
My son is 9 so has some way to go but he wont be allowed it until he has the maturity level to understand and dont expect that til he is 15 or so |
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By *umourCouple
over a year ago
Rushden |
"What are peoples _iews of letting teenagers drink. My daughter is 13 and having a sleepover. And she has asked for a bottle of lambrini which I have bought her because i would rather her drink sensibly under my roof than some nasty cheap cider on a park bench."
Sounds like a bit of a cop out to me, just to get the quiet life or so that you will be thought of as a "cool mum"! Not only are you getting her used to booze as a "recreational drug" but you are also reinforcing that rules are made to be broken. Suppose you allow this and then she is out one day and steals something from a shop! When questioned as to why, she tells the police that "My mum don't worry about the law, why should I?" We are NOT their best friends, we are supposed to be the enforcers of morals and rules.
Seems you have already made up your mind as you have bought the drink! You say you don't want her drinking cheap cider, but buy her Lambrini? That is what most of the kids drink round here "cos it's cheap and give ya a good hit"  |
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on another note, taking from the Italian way of life, if alcohol is introduced at a younger age I believe it builds up more of a resitance in a way and the body gets used to it, possibly making it harder to get sloshed on a bottle of wine as soon as they hit 18, it also removes the unknown element and makes it less exciting.
just in the same way that the dutch have a lower teen pregnancy rate because of early and frank sex ed
xAx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Between the ages of 9 and 12 I was always offered a small bottle of beer by my step dad, sometimes I would accept other times I wouldn't. My mum knew and was fine with it.
In a way it was good, I did not feel the need to drink as I got older where others were constantly going out and getting plastered. I'm 23 now and never feel I HAVE to drink. I'm rarely off my face and I think that the way I was introduced to alcohol has helped me. However I do not agree with the age it started from a child's health aspect. I feel 12/13 is a good age to introduce alcohol, if you show you trust your child to drink alcohol it will build great trust between you in that sense. |
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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago
Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else |
I have a vague recollection of there being an element in the licensing laws when I was a kid that allowed for anyone over the age of 14 to have alcohol bought for them in pubs if they were under supervision (ie if with meal and/or parents). But I may have invented it in a d*unken haze.
What I do know is that scout camps (ages 11-16) were fuelled almost entirely on Strongbow. Bought by the leaders.
So, on the subject of teenagers and alcohol, I wonder how many of us are being a little hypocritical here? I'm not saying we should accept binge drinking as the norm, just that there's an element of finding out for yourself within a protective environment that we should, where possible, allow children to have.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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when i was little 3 or 4 my mum and dad give me and sister warm dark sweet beer every sunday morning with our fish and chips from night befor heated up not sure name was lovely only half a cup i never end up a drinker i cant drink alot .. Its up to you if you feel she can handle it ..... its like most things you tell them thay cant have it thay will find ways around and alot harder drink . You come across as a good mum you do what ever you feel is right for you and your family xxx jo |
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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago
near kings lynn |
Scouts are now from 10 and half til 14 and explorers from then onwards.
So I expect your talking back in time as scouts used to be that age.
I do know that our explorers do have some alcohol on camp but a limited amount but I expect it would only be the older ones allowed it and after a discussion with the parents |
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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago
near kings lynn |
"when i was little 3 or 4 my mum and dad give me and sister warm dark sweet beer every sunday morning with our fish and chips from night befor heated up not sure name was lovely only half a cup i never end up a drinker i cant drink alot .. Its up to you if you feel she can handle it ..... its like most things you tell them thay cant have it thay will find ways around and alot harder drink . You come across as a good mum you do what ever you feel is right for you and your family xxx jo"
Jo, you were given alcohol as a drink at 3 or 4 years old???????
Would be very worried if that was the case. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I approve of and support the OP's attitude but not the daughter's choice of tipple. No matter how cold you get Lambrini it still tastes crap.
A bottle costing a few pounds more, heavily watered down, will be a much better introduction to the wonderful world of wine.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"when i was little 3 or 4 my mum and dad give me and sister warm dark sweet beer every sunday morning with our fish and chips from night befor heated up not sure name was lovely only half a cup i never end up a drinker i cant drink alot .. Its up to you if you feel she can handle it ..... its like most things you tell them thay cant have it thay will find ways around and alot harder drink . You come across as a good mum you do what ever you feel is right for you and your family xxx jo"
That sounds like it might have been Sweetheart Stout which is supposed tohave medicinal properties.
Many years ago whilst I was undergoing radiotherapy a small bottle of Sweetheart Stout or Guinness was available, on the NHS, every evening (or maybe every second evening). |
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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago
near kings lynn |
"when i was little 3 or 4 my mum and dad give me and sister warm dark sweet beer every sunday morning with our fish and chips from night befor heated up not sure name was lovely only half a cup i never end up a drinker i cant drink alot .. Its up to you if you feel she can handle it ..... its like most things you tell them thay cant have it thay will find ways around and alot harder drink . You come across as a good mum you do what ever you feel is right for you and your family xxx jo
That sounds like it might have been Sweetheart Stout which is supposed tohave medicinal properties.
Many years ago whilst I was undergoing radiotherapy a small bottle of Sweetheart Stout or Guinness was available, on the NHS, every evening (or maybe every second evening)."
But not at 3 or 4 years old th!!! Maybe if a child that age was receiving radiotherapy and it was a recognised treatment but stout for a under 5 is unbelievable.
I am a nanny by trade and would have social services on my back if I had a child in my care drinking any kind of alcohol or even if the parents offered it.
I dont know how many years ago your referring to Jo but cant imagine anyone on this earth giving alcohol to child in this day and age booze to under 5s(no offence Jo but am gobsmacked) |
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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago
Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else |
"Scouts are now from 10 and half til 14 and explorers from then onwards.
So I expect your talking back in time as scouts used to be that age.
"
Not that long ago (!) But yes, in my youth, and at the age of 11 it would have been the first time I drank, got pissed, had hangovers etc.
I actually became teetotal at the age of 18...for about a year. I'd passed my driving test, was newly independent, and was embarrassed at what had occurred on my 18th birthday...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"when i was little 3 or 4 my mum and dad give me and sister warm dark sweet beer every sunday morning with our fish and chips from night befor heated up not sure name was lovely only half a cup i never end up a drinker i cant drink alot .. Its up to you if you feel she can handle it ..... its like most things you tell them thay cant have it thay will find ways around and alot harder drink . You come across as a good mum you do what ever you feel is right for you and your family xxx jo
That sounds like it might have been Sweetheart Stout which is supposed tohave medicinal properties.
Many years ago whilst I was undergoing radiotherapy a small bottle of Sweetheart Stout or Guinness was available, on the NHS, every evening (or maybe every second evening).
But not at 3 or 4 years old th!!! Maybe if a child that age was receiving radiotherapy and it was a recognised treatment but stout for a under 5 is unbelievable.
I am a nanny by trade and would have social services on my back if I had a child in my care drinking any kind of alcohol or even if the parents offered it.
I dont know how many years ago your referring to Jo but cant imagine anyone on this earth giving alcohol to child in this day and age booze to under 5s(no offence Jo but am gobsmacked)"
I'm quite gobsmacked at 13 to be honest lol but under 5, I'm just pretending I didn't see that  |
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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago
Livingston |
to the OP - surely the fact that you are asking for public opinion on this means you are not entirely comfortable with them having a drink in the first place??
Shoot me down if I'm wrong |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Scouts are now from 10 and half til 14 and explorers from then onwards.
So I expect your talking back in time as scouts used to be that age.
Not that long ago (!) But yes, in my youth, and at the age of 11 it would have been the first time I drank, got pissed, had hangovers etc.
I actually became teetotal at the age of 18...for about a year. I'd passed my driving test, was newly independent, and was embarrassed at what had occurred on my 18th birthday... "
I stopped drinking at 18 too - for about 10 years. The 'thrill' of the fact it was illegal had gone and beers which tasted good (real ales) were still in short supply so I just didn't bother.
10 years later it was a different matter and I've never looked back. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A no from me.. However if it were a compromise i would send her with a. 25cl or 22cl mini bottle .. The glass and a half ones you can buy.. "
I'd just say no. I think compromise is overrated when it comes to parent/child relationships. To a point, but when it's a point of law and for their own health and safety, surely the parent has to step in and be "the boring bastard" every once in a while |
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my how things have changed...at 13 for me a sleepover was boardgames, movies crisps and soft drinks as a special treat...I know that the times have changed...but I personally would not give my children any kind of alcohol for a sleepover or anything like that. for us as children we were given "wine" on special occasions like Christmas or Easter..which was nothing more than lemonade but in a wine glass.lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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well it did me no harm had this every sunday for years . I small bottle me a sister had with suger. My dad grown up in a pub my nan and gradad owned a village pub maybe that where it all come from. All i know it did me no harm. I drink very little now 1 or 2 glasses of wine or half of real beer if over this i am ill x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Read in the paper yesterday about a woman with a 14 year old daughter with tattoos, piercings, allowed to sleep with her boyfriend - she's had four sexual partners in six months, can't be arsed to go to school because she can't be bothered to get up so early to go.
Her mum was there beside her smiling away, agreeing with her daughter and didn't think there was anything wrong.
My point is we all have different _iews on how we raise our children..."
That's as maybe but we don't do them any favours encouraging them to become sloth like. They have to live in the world themselves one day. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A no from me.. However if it were a compromise i would send her with a. 25cl or 22cl mini bottle .. The glass and a half ones you can buy..
I'd just say no. I think compromise is overrated when it comes to parent/child relationships. To a point, but when it's a point of law and for their own health and safety, surely the parent has to step in and be "the boring bastard" every once in a while "
Yes, and we are thankful for it later methinks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Think there’s a big difference though in giving your child a small drink at xmas dinner and buying them a bottle to take to a sleepover, even if would my own 13 year old a small glass with a meal etc, I certainly wouldn’t give it to anyone else’s child.
Maybe I’m just old fashioned but if mine asked for a bottle of wine for a sleep over at 13 there would be no sleepover  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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To be fair there was more lemonade to wine I poured the glasses. A little in moderation and was getting peoples _iews on the subject. To teach them to drink sensibly. She has been to a few sleep overs and the last one she went to the parents bought them bottles of wicked blue and just sent them upstairs which to me is not right. Would rather teach them if they are going to drink then drink responsibly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be fair there was more lemonade to wine I poured the glasses. A little in moderation and was getting peoples _iews on the subject. To teach them to drink sensibly. She has been to a few sleep overs and the last one she went to the parents bought them bottles of wicked blue and just sent them upstairs which to me is not right. Would rather teach them if they are going to drink then drink responsibly."
yes you have it right xx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be fair there was more lemonade to wine I poured the glasses. A little in moderation and was getting peoples _iews on the subject. To teach them to drink sensibly. She has been to a few sleep overs and the last one she went to the parents bought them bottles of wicked blue and just sent them upstairs which to me is not right. Would rather teach them if they are going to drink then drink responsibly."
You're in the best position to know your daughter and how'll she'll behave. You trust her - that's good enough for me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The thing is we have all been there and we all know the tricks that goes on. I always looked older and passing for 18 when i was 14 drinking the cheap nasty cider or even the leathal mad dog 20/20 but we all did it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The thing is we have all been there and we all know the tricks that goes on. I always looked older and passing for 18 when i was 14 drinking the cheap nasty cider or even the leathal mad dog 20/20 but we all did it. "
As much as I'm a drinker now, I didn't drink at 14 and why? Because I didn't want to disappoint my mum. I loved her and knew she trusted me. I didn't want to step on that trust. I was probably weird but mine are of the same mind and I'm thankful for that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What are peoples _iews of letting teenagers drink. My daughter is 13 and having a sleepover. And she has asked for a bottle of lambrini which I have bought her because i would rather her drink sensibly under my roof than some nasty cheap cider on a park bench."
Teenagers drink on the continent but usually as part of a meal. Alcohol after all is not inherently evil and in moderation can be a healthy part of the diet or so scientists claim these days. After saying that it can be abused and misused. The issue here is should a 13yr old be allowed to recreationally drink.
Well for a start lambrini is only 7.5 % vol not the 12-13.5 a red or white wine has. Saying that it can still have an effect on a child. Myself I would always try to take out the mystism and the “its cool because its not allowed” element out of it. But the age old rule of thumb should come in. And that is if you have concerns and doubts then just say no.
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