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Friday Humour

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

At dawn the telephone rings,

"Hello, Señor Bob? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house.”

"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?”

"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Señor Bob, that your parrot, he is dead”.

"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?”

"Si, Señor, that's the one.”

"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?”

"From eating the rotten meat, Señor Bob.”

"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?”

"Nobody, Señor. He ate the meat of the dead horse.”

"Dead horse? What dead horse?”

"The thoroughbred, Señor Bob...”

"My prize thoroughbred is dead?”

"Yes, Señor Bob, he died from all that work pulling the water cart.”

"Are you insane? What water cart?”

"The one we used to put out the fire, Señor.”

"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?”

"The one at your house, Señor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire.”

"What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?!”

"Yes, Señor Bob.”

"But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?”

"For the funeral, Señor Bob.”

"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL?!!!”

"Your wife's, Señor Bob. She showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Ping G15 204g

titanium head golf club with the TFC 149D graphite shaft.”

SILENCE………..

LONG SILENCE………

VERY LONG SILENCE…………

"Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're in deep shit."

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By *eforfuncplCouple  over a year ago

Morecambe

Lmao xx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago
Forum Mod

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman  over a year ago

stourbridge area

Poor parrot .....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Haha!!

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By *oward1978Man  over a year ago

Rotherham

Very good

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Golf jokes always prove to be the best for some reason and I'm no fan of the game, here's mine on the same ilk....

Two golfers enjoying a midweek round on the local links course, as they reach the fairway of the 8th the pair notice a funeral procession passing on the road alongside, one of the golfers stops and removes his cap and bows his head. After they have passed they return to their game and his playing partner turns to him;

"That was very respectful of you John to do that"

"It was the least I could do Bill, I was married to her for 40 years"

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