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By *bi Haive OP Man
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
There's been a fair few threads recently bemoaning the modern world of swinging. The apparent increase of fakes, time wasters and chancers. The increase in married men, people confusing 'swinging' with dating and the problems finding suitable company. The impersonal nature of t'internet and the quality of communications.
Was it really that much better in days of old? 
Or are some looking at things through sepia tinted spectacles, fondly remembering the romantic memories of days pre modern technology?
"Right Doris. I've been down Boots and brought one of those new fangle dangled 35mm cameras. That last couple we sent the Polaroids to wrote back saying thanks but no thanks and I'm sure it's just because, well, let's face it - you obviously didn't waft the pictures as fast as you give hand jobs and hence they came out all blurry and my old chap ended up looking more chipolata than pork sword and your lady garden looked more like that badger we ran over in the Morris Minor last Tuesday! We're bound to get more luck using this and young Kevin on the photo developing counter promised he'd only have a brief glance at our pictures and not share them with all the other staff - especially her at number 38. Get your red, lacy crotchless number on and look seductive whilst I work out how to put the film in!!"
Two weeks later.......
"Doris!!! We've had a reply! That couple in Cleethorpes - you know - 'Randy Ron and Voluptuous Vera (38 & 42, cuddly and curvy, looking for naughty fun with other bored middle aged couples, please reply with pictures to box no.69) say they like the look of us - told you that camera was worth it! They've sent pics. A bit blurry. She obviously didn't waft fast enough. They look ok from what you can see. Can't tell if that's a smudge or a birthmark shaped like Enoch Powell but I'm going to write to them and tell them to come over three weeks on Friday."
Three weeks on Friday later......
"Sorry love. That letter they wrote sounded genuine and it's not my fault I didn't spot the fact those Polaroids had been cut from an old copy of Razzle. They were really good fake Polaroids. It could have happened to anyone. I know you've spent hours getting your fishnets on and perming your minge. Seems a shame to put all that effort to waste. Pop that leather mini skirt you bought down the market on and we can go down the Dog & Duck and flash the underage drinkers for a giggle."
The following Thursday.....
"Dear Doris and Bernard. Sorry. We can't make tonight. Our dog got hit by a car last night as we were on our way to take the mother in law to hospital after she choked on one of those new take away fried chicken bargain buckets. We'd have let you know sooner except we haven't had one of those new phone lines installed yet (unlike the posh cow next door - she's got her own washing machine too and I heard a rumour their TV is colour! Flash gits!) and of course we couldn't email or text you as the Internet hasn't been invented yet and mobile phones are but a pipe dream. Sorry for any disappointment and if you'd like to reschedule then write to us soon. You might want to send it recorded delivery of course as Royal Mail have gone downhill recently and we've only just received the Christmas card Ron's mum sent us in 1973! Thanks, Vera and Ron. Happy Swinging!!"
Ah. The good old days.
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There's been a fair few threads recently bemoaning the modern world of swinging. The apparent increase of fakes, time wasters and chancers. The increase in married men, people confusing 'swinging' with dating and the problems finding suitable company. The impersonal nature of t'internet and the quality of communications.
Was it really that much better in days of old?
Or are some looking at things through sepia tinted spectacles, fondly remembering the romantic memories of days pre modern technology?
"Right Doris. I've been down Boots and brought one of those new fangle dangled 35mm cameras. That last couple we sent the Polaroids to wrote back saying thanks but no thanks and I'm sure it's just because, well, let's face it - you obviously didn't waft the pictures as fast as you give hand jobs and hence they came out all blurry and my old chap ended up looking more chipolata than pork sword and your lady garden looked more like that badger we ran over in the Morris Minor last Tuesday! We're bound to get more luck using this and young Kevin on the photo developing counter promised he'd only have a brief glance at our pictures and not share them with all the other staff - especially her at number 38. Get your red, lacy crotchless number on and look seductive whilst I work out how to put the film in!!"
Two weeks later.......
"Doris!!! We've had a reply! That couple in Cleethorpes - you know - 'Randy Ron and Voluptuous Vera (38 & 42, cuddly and curvy, looking for naughty fun with other bored middle aged couples, please reply with pictures to box no.69) say they like the look of us - told you that camera was worth it! They've sent pics. A bit blurry. She obviously didn't waft fast enough. They look ok from what you can see. Can't tell if that's a smudge or a birthmark shaped like Enoch Powell but I'm going to write to them and tell them to come over three weeks on Friday."
Three weeks on Friday later......
"Sorry love. That letter they wrote sounded genuine and it's not my fault I didn't spot the fact those Polaroids had been cut from an old copy of Razzle. They were really good fake Polaroids. It could have happened to anyone. I know you've spent hours getting your fishnets on and perming your minge. Seems a shame to put all that effort to waste. Pop that leather mini skirt you bought down the market on and we can go down the Dog & Duck and flash the underage drinkers for a giggle."
The following Thursday.....
"Dear Doris and Bernard. Sorry. We can't make tonight. Our dog got hit by a car last night as we were on our way to take the mother in law to hospital after she choked on one of those new take away fried chicken bargain buckets. We'd have let you know sooner except we haven't had one of those new phone lines installed yet (unlike the posh cow next door - she's got her own washing machine too and I heard a rumour their TV is colour! Flash gits!) and of course we couldn't email or text you as the Internet hasn't been invented yet and mobile phones are but a pipe dream. Sorry for any disappointment and if you'd like to reschedule then write to us soon. You might want to send it recorded delivery of course as Royal Mail have gone downhill recently and we've only just received the Christmas card Ron's mum sent us in 1973! Thanks, Vera and Ron. Happy Swinging!!"
Ah. The good old days.
A"
Class!!!  |
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1973? Jeez, I wasn't even a twinkle in my mums eye, she was still at school then!
I've only known it the modern internet way, but there has been a change these past few months, a lot more fantasists who wanna have phone sex or wanting me to perform on cam. |
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By *bi Haive OP Man
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"1973? Jeez, I wasn't even a twinkle in my mums eye, she was still at school then!
I've only known it the modern internet way, but there has been a change these past few months, a lot more fantasists who wanna have phone sex or wanting me to perform on cam."
In the old days you'd have had junk mail asking for a fistful of Polaroids!
Would have been bloody expensive.
I wonder if anyone ever did 'flick book' style sets? Although I suppose a guy wouldn't have enough hands to hold, flick - and knock one out at the same time!
A |
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By *bi Haive OP Man
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I didn't swing back in the old days but I did try dating with an ad placed in Time Out and replying to boxes. I met some VERY strange people.
"
Some things don't change then!
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Looked at this thread thinking it might be about the "City Variety Hall" in Leeds.
I was in the audience for a show recorded in mid 80's. Clive Dunn was top of the bill...... Ah well wrong thread! |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I didn't swing back in the old days but I did try dating with an ad placed in Time Out and replying to boxes. I met some VERY strange people.
Some things don't change then!
A"
It must be something about me.
We placed an ad for my sister and, reader, she married him.
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
i think when we talk about "in the good old days" socials... its just back to a time when people use to travel and made weekends of it... they just felt more special..... 
people don't travel like they use to.... they want everything on their doorstep!! (god i went old man then!!!) |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"i think when we talk about "in the good old days" socials... its just back to a time when people use to travel and made weekends of it... they just felt more special.....
people don't travel like they use to.... they want everything on their doorstep!! (god i went old man then!!!) "
Says the man who didn't even come to my party! |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"i think when we talk about "in the good old days" socials... its just back to a time when people use to travel and made weekends of it... they just felt more special.....
people don't travel like they use to.... they want everything on their doorstep!! (god i went old man then!!!)
Says the man who didn't even come to my party! "
hey... i had a good excuse!!!! do you really wanna fight my 8yr old niece!!! |
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Rose tinted specs for sure! 