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Crop circles, aliens and mystery poos
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The first 2 are explainable. But I cannot get my head around when you sit on the loo for a No2. You know youve done a poo, but its not in the pan and when you wipe, there us no evidence of the evacuation.
Wheres Mulder and Sculley when you need them? |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
Maybe it wasn't a poo?
Maybe it was just a huge fart?
Or maybe you'd actually been anally probed and impregnated by the aliens and had just given birth to a little baby alien which they teleported back to their spaceship before you noticed? 
A |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Maybe it wasn't a poo?
Maybe it was just a huge fart?
Or maybe you'd actually been anally probed and impregnated by the aliens and had just given birth to a little baby alien which they teleported back to their spaceship before you noticed?
A"
Ah. That makes sense  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I believe its a sign of a well balanced diet!"
this is very true healthy poo will sink and at times just go round the u bend unaided
if your poo floats it's means your body is not properly absorbing nutrients and has to much gas is it so change your diet  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's a blip in the continuation of time. We take time as to be linear, but in the case of pooping sometimes the stench is so bad our brain can't deal with it so compensates for this. So the poop did happen, but in an alternate universe it didn't.
Now, most of the time we aren't aware of alternate universes, but we can travel to them without our knowledge if space, time and sky daddy thinks it's necessary. We end up in the least smelly poop universe at the precise time after we have flushed and already wiped. Then we jump staright back tot he stinky poop universe but after the smell has dissipated.
Yes i am so bored right now so my brain is functioning a higher rate than usual... |
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Had a teacher friend...
They told me about what happened in one school they taught in :
One year, every day nice neat turds would turn up in the centre of toilet covers. Eventually this got too much for the head who had the seat covers removed...
The turds then moved to the corners of cubicles (both boys and girls I should have said)...
This drove the head wild and they ordered all toilets to be locked between breaks and for pupils to be accompanied to the toilets.
This did not last long however! Because within days of this edict being enforced the turds returned but were now in the pupils cloakroom sitting proud on the the bench beneath the students coats!
Does this count as mysterious poos? |
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"I believe its a sign of a well balanced diet!
this is very true healthy poo will sink and at times just go round the u bend unaided
if your poo floats it's means your body is not properly absorbing nutrients and has to much gas is it so change your diet "
This is untrue.
A poo with fibre in it will float.
A poo which is the product of too much fast food will not float as it has no fibre. One which disappears is as a result of hitting the toilet at the right angle and velocity and deflecting up the outflow pipe and then floating up to the U bend. So whilst it is true to say only a healthy poo will disappear. It is wrong to say that unhealthy ones will float. |
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"Have you thought about setting up cctv "
There are survey companies who specialise in sending cameras down sewers for surveys. It would be good to get one of them involved. See what actually happens to these rarest of toleys. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Maybe you had a mutant ninja turtle poo going on, then it was too scared to come out from its shell. So you actually sucked it back up?  "
Cant be. No traces of pizza or nunchukes in the pan either  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe it wasn't a poo?
Maybe it was just a huge fart?
Or maybe you'd actually been anally probed and impregnated by the aliens and had just given birth to a little baby alien which they teleported back to their spaceship before you noticed?
A
Ah. That makes sense "
This adipose is real!! |
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