FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Women making the first move...
Women making the first move...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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...and not just on here, but in the world in general.
It's generally understood that many guys will go for a woman who LOOKS good (at least initially), I'm sure many people have come across a scene at some point in life where a particularly beautiful girl strolls up the street turning heads as she goes. What I want to know is, in the case of women, what is it about a guy that makes you HAVE to go over and chat to him?
What is it about a man, be it in either his appearance or his character, that makes you decide 'I'm not just going to just let this man pass me by, I don't want to be a stranger, I want to see if I can get to know him better'? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would never just walk upto a stranger in the street and start talking just because he turned my head
it's behaviour like that that gets your a stalker reputation  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I met my partner on here, and I messaged first. I liked his posts and sense of humour initially, plus his public pictures suggested he was attractive. I was right. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
I talk to people all the time. I will go up and talk to men out there in the real world. It might be something I overhear them saying or the way they carry themselves and in one particular case it was just that he smelled divine - that was like every pheromone was pulling me towards him.
When I make the first move on here I usually get blocked or ignored. PMs to people from the forum have been chatty and sometimes lead to a little more (not often) which is always a bonus.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would make a move on a guy if we had been talking and I liked him but say I was in asda and I saw a really attractive guy I would never just stroll over and start talking |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've approached a couple of guys in recent years when ive been out , but it has to be that I can't resist, I do look at the eye contact first though.
If they started running away I wouldn't be able to catch them.
On here, the best way I knowis to Fab their photos . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"First moves would be most welcome but I should probably 'man up' (hate that saying)
Maybe society dictates but it does seem a bit old fashioned. This is just a microcosm of society after all. "
see what would worry me is if I saw a good looking guy while out and I though I just HAVE to talk and not let this one go it would be my luck that after I made a pass at him his Mrs would be stood behind me arms crossed  |
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"I've approached a couple of guys in recent years when ive been out , but it has to be that I can't resist, I do look at the eye contact first though.
If they started running away I wouldn't be able to catch them.
On here, the best way I knowis to Fab their photos ."
Please go fab my pics |
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"I would never just walk upto a stranger in the street and start talking just because he turned my head
it's behaviour like that that gets your a stalker reputation "
That's pretty much how I ended up with Flik...but as stalkers go she's a pretty good one |
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"First moves would be most welcome but I should probably 'man up' (hate that saying)
Maybe society dictates but it does seem a bit old fashioned. This is just a microcosm of society after all.
see what would worry me is if I saw a good looking guy while out and I though I just HAVE to talk and not let this one go it would be my luck that after I made a pass at him his Mrs would be stood behind me arms crossed "
Nah, you'd know as he would've spotted her behind you beforehand and would be flustered!
Also you'd get the confidence to do it again, because what are the chances it could happen twice!? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"First moves would be most welcome but I should probably 'man up' (hate that saying)
Maybe society dictates but it does seem a bit old fashioned. This is just a microcosm of society after all.
see what would worry me is if I saw a good looking guy while out and I though I just HAVE to talk and not let this one go it would be my luck that after I made a pass at him his Mrs would be stood behind me arms crossed
Nah, you'd know as he would've spotted her behind you beforehand and would be flustered!
Also you'd get the confidence to do it again, because what are the chances it could happen twice!? "
for me? it could happen 10 times |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"First moves would be most welcome but I should probably 'man up' (hate that saying)
Maybe society dictates but it does seem a bit old fashioned. This is just a microcosm of society after all. "
Truth be told I'd LOVE to be able to make the first move on a woman, the funny thing is I don't lack much in the way of confidence (I wouldn't have had as many meets as I have otherwise), but breaking the ice is incredibly hard for me, I always seem to get it wrong and come off as either a lummox, or so intense (this is a big thing about my personality) that I scare them off.
I've always done better in an environment where I can express myself and show off my more attractive qualities from afar, and try and entice women to me that way, unfortunately, it doesn't give me the control over ending my loneliness that I'd like. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It wouldn't really happen in real life. You wouldn't know the guys circumstances for one, chances are he'd be taken anyway. In a bar or a night club it's easier to make conversation I suppose.
The last guy I dated I was in a bar and he was with 4 other guys, I saw him made eye contact then saw him again at the bar, was waiting to get served and he was just getting served so stood next to him and as he told the barmaid what he wanted I said make that 2, then said to him I'll give you the money! He said don't worry about it but give me your number! Gave it to him and he messaged me the next day. Turned out he'd just got back from 7 months in afghan and was probably dying for a fuck but we dated for 4 months afterwards! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Actually I reckon if I didn't make the first move most of the time I would get precious little action. Single men seem to be a bit timid these days."
Do you find the same with couples or are they a bit more easy going in general?
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Actually I reckon if I didn't make the first move most of the time I would get precious little action. Single men seem to be a bit timid these days. Do you find the same with couples or are they a bit more easy going in general?"
I don't meet couples. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Actually I reckon if I didn't make the first move most of the time I would get precious little action. Single men seem to be a bit timid these days.
Do you find the same with couples or are they a bit more easy going in general
I don't meet couples."
I'd never make a move on a couple jesus female half's of couples scare the shit out of me and in to heavy for egg shell treading |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Actually I reckon if I didn't make the first move most of the time I would get precious little action. Single men seem to be a bit timid these days.
Do you find the same with couples or are they a bit more easy going in general
I don't meet couples.
I'd never make a move on a couple jesus female half's of couples scare the shit out of me and in to heavy for egg shell treading "
Indeed. I can be forward with a bloke, but flirting with a bloke with his missus there? Nooooo! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I literally threw myself at Clarence as he wasnt taking my subtle hints!
On here I actively look and have messaged quite a few of the people we meet first! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Actually I reckon if I didn't make the first move most of the time I would get precious little action. Single men seem to be a bit timid these days. Do you find the same with couples or are they a bit more easy going in general?
I don't meet couples."
That can't stop them approaching you though does it? I was just wondering if they do or if most couples wait until they're approached? |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Actually I reckon if I didn't make the first move most of the time I would get precious little action. Single men seem to be a bit timid these days. Do you find the same with couples or are they a bit more easy going in general?
I don't meet couples. That can't stop them approaching you though does it? I was just wondering if they do or if most couples wait until they're approached?"
I don't get approached by couples. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Actually I reckon if I didn't make the first move most of the time I would get precious little action. Single men seem to be a bit timid these days. Do you find the same with couples or are they a bit more easy going in general?
I don't meet couples. That can't stop them approaching you though does it? I was just wondering if they do or if most couples wait until they're approached?
I don't get approached by couples. "
contrary to popular belief not many couples in clubs approach women I have found many times if I talk to couples in clubs the woman gets very protective over their guy I thinking the guy would like you to join but I have always got the impression very few of the female half do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Actually I reckon if I didn't make the first move most of the time I would get precious little action. Single men seem to be a bit timid these days. Do you find the same with couples or are they a bit more easy going in general?
I don't meet couples. That can't stop them approaching you though does it? I was just wondering if they do or if most couples wait until they're approached?
I don't get approached by couples. "
I thought that might be the case with most couples, I suppose they spend too much time discussing someone with each other rather than just going for it |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Actually I reckon if I didn't make the first move most of the time I would get precious little action. Single men seem to be a bit timid these days. Do you find the same with couples or are they a bit more easy going in general?
I don't meet couples. That can't stop them approaching you though does it? I was just wondering if they do or if most couples wait until they're approached?
I don't get approached by couples.
contrary to popular belief not many couples in clubs approach women I have found many times if I talk to couples in clubs the woman gets very protective over their guy I thinking the guy would like you to join but I have always got the impression very few of the female half do"
Protective? There's screeching noises as the blokes are dragged forcefully away. 
I stick with single blokes. Much less hassle. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Actually I reckon if I didn't make the first move most of the time I would get precious little action. Single men seem to be a bit timid these days. Do you find the same with couples or are they a bit more easy going in general?
I don't meet couples. That can't stop them approaching you though does it? I was just wondering if they do or if most couples wait until they're approached?
I don't get approached by couples.
contrary to popular belief not many couples in clubs approach women I have found many times if I talk to couples in clubs the woman gets very protective over their guy I thinking the guy would like you to join but I have always got the impression very few of the female half do
Protective? There's screeching noises as the blokes are dragged forcefully away.
I stick with single blokes. Much less hassle."
lol that's the one |
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
I have never, in my entire life, here nor in the big wide world, ever taken the first step to speak to a guy
But I have many times walked over to couples in swingers clubs and started a conversation with them
Don't know why that is, but it is |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"I've now got a vision of finger nails leaving gouges in floor boards as they're being dragged away "
Its always a comedy moment. Surprising considering the amount of couples on here looking for single women. |
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"Bit of booze for confidence and I can be quite forward. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I scared a poor young man in Isis Quest on Friday night, I know that! "
Careful what you say. Cameron will be sending you to sort out the rest of Is is. |
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"First moves would be most welcome but I should probably 'man up' (hate that saying)
Maybe society dictates but it does seem a bit old fashioned. This is just a microcosm of society after all.
Truth be told I'd LOVE to be able to make the first move on a woman, the funny thing is I don't lack much in the way of confidence (I wouldn't have had as many meets as I have otherwise), but breaking the ice is incredibly hard for me, I always seem to get it wrong and come off as either a lummox, or so intense (this is a big thing about my personality) that I scare them off.
I've always done better in an environment where I can express myself and show off my more attractive qualities from afar, and try and entice women to me that way, unfortunately, it doesn't give me the control over ending my loneliness that I'd like."
I think it would be a huge complement if a woman made the first move, it doesn't necessarily she wants to marry the guy but definitely bounds over some initial hurdles, as the whole rejection thing is a biggie for some and it's easier said than done. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've now got a vision of finger nails leaving gouges in floor boards as they're being dragged away
Its always a comedy moment. Surprising considering the amount of couples on here looking for single women."
At least it proves that you're a threat to the female  |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"I've now got a vision of finger nails leaving gouges in floor boards as they're being dragged away
Its always a comedy moment. Surprising considering the amount of couples on here looking for single women. At least it proves that you're a threat to the female "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I was 16 I had a crush on a guy in my class. I finally built up the courage and said, fuck it! I'm asking him out. When I did, he looked horrified and told me it wasn't very feminine to be asking a guy out. That it's the guy's job, and that he liked feminine girls. So, needless to say, I didn't go out with my crush and I never made the first move with a guy again
-Courtney |
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"Actually I reckon if I didn't make the first move most of the time I would get precious little action. Single men seem to be a bit timid these days. Do you find the same with couples or are they a bit more easy going in general?
I don't meet couples. That can't stop them approaching you though does it? I was just wondering if they do or if most couples wait until they're approached?
I don't get approached by couples.
contrary to popular belief not many couples in clubs approach women I have found many times if I talk to couples in clubs the woman gets very protective over their guy I thinking the guy would like you to join but I have always got the impression very few of the female half do
Protective? There's screeching noises as the blokes are dragged forcefully away.
I stick with single blokes. Much less hassle."
You calling us simple |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"First moves would be most welcome but I should probably 'man up' (hate that saying)
Maybe society dictates but it does seem a bit old fashioned. This is just a microcosm of society after all.
Truth be told I'd LOVE to be able to make the first move on a woman, the funny thing is I don't lack much in the way of confidence (I wouldn't have had as many meets as I have otherwise), but breaking the ice is incredibly hard for me, I always seem to get it wrong and come off as either a lummox, or so intense (this is a big thing about my personality) that I scare them off.
I've always done better in an environment where I can express myself and show off my more attractive qualities from afar, and try and entice women to me that way, unfortunately, it doesn't give me the control over ending my loneliness that I'd like.
I think it would be a huge complement if a woman made the first move, it doesn't necessarily she wants to marry the guy but definitely bounds over some initial hurdles, as the whole rejection thing is a biggie for some and it's easier said than done. "
We get rejected too when we make the first move.
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I rarely make a first move though might 'put myself in harms way' on purpose. I did once see a guy who looked like Robert Redford in my wine bar on New Years Eve so made damn sure I was standing beside him at midnight.....  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I rarely make a first move though might 'put myself in harms way' on purpose. I did once see a guy who looked like Robert Redford in my wine bar on New Years Eve so made damn sure I was standing beside him at midnight..... "
As the Sundance Kid, I reckon you could make a realistic argument for him being the most handsome movie star of all time  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I love a woman with the confidence to make the first move "
Mines nothing to do with confidence but a personal belief that a man should make the first move.
Only exception is if we have gone to a gg night |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Actually I reckon if I didn't make the first move most of the time I would get precious little action. Single men seem to be a bit timid these days. Do you find the same with couples or are they a bit more easy going in general?
I don't meet couples. That can't stop them approaching you though does it? I was just wondering if they do or if most couples wait until they're approached?
I don't get approached by couples.
contrary to popular belief not many couples in clubs approach women I have found many times if I talk to couples in clubs the woman gets very protective over their guy I thinking the guy would like you to join but I have always got the impression very few of the female half do"
This is the case even if you just try to talk to some couples When by yourself x |
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"I rarely make a first move though might 'put myself in harms way' on purpose. I did once see a guy who looked like Robert Redford in my wine bar on New Years Eve so made damn sure I was standing beside him at midnight.....
As the Sundance Kid, I reckon you could make a realistic argument for him being the most handsome movie star of all time "
Yes he looked great. I've always loved floppy blond hair but I think that guy was the only time I had a relationship with someone who had it lol! |
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By *hortieWoman
over a year ago
Northampton |
I have occasionally made the first move. Its not often I see someone I really like, but if I do, I will 'seize the moment'.
Last most memorable time, was 19-20 years ago, working in a warehouse and seeing a guy, and thinking.... wow.
It was probably his looks that firstly attracted me to him, but he was a little aloof, sexy as hell and just got on with his job quietly and confidently.
Took me a couple of months of stalking and tempting him with one of his favourite things (I can't say what on here) - and we got together and not too long after got married.
We were together just over 10 years when he died.
I never balk at going for what I like.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Strangely enough, I love making the first move in France , starting a conversation in a bar with a man but in England I'm more shy, I think it's because I'm not confident in speaking English enough ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have made the first move.
Since becoming a swinger it gave me confidence and that has translated to rl too.
On here its easy but out there a quick drink for dutch and I will initiate- life is too short! |
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"Strangely enough, I love making the first move in France , starting a conversation in a bar with a man but in England I'm more shy, I think it's because I'm not confident in speaking English enough ..."
You don't need to. Just speak in French the guys will be putty in your hands |
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I'm curious and nosey so.always like to fill in some gaps, when I see or appreciate something good about someone. Hang out a bit, chat, any random inanity, it doesn't matter. It's pre-stalking behaviour, NN was a little concerned, but a fuller picture helps you to decide better if someone is worthy.
Those people who pass through your life will have all been influenced somehow and potentially available. Take the chance. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lady made the first approach on here to me. We've met twice and soon to meet a third time. I've not had a successfull meet from me making the first move. This is in complete contrast to the 'real world' but there ya go.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I see a guy in the real world that I fancy (very rare!) - my first question to myself is "Am I strong enough to break his legs if he turns out to be trouble?" If the answer is "No!" - then I tend to walk away...!
I find that I tend to walk away quite often these days...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"First moves would be most welcome but I should probably 'man up' (hate that saying)
Maybe society dictates but it does seem a bit old fashioned. This is just a microcosm of society after all.
see what would worry me is if I saw a good looking guy while out and I though I just HAVE to talk and not let this one go it would be my luck that after I made a pass at him his Mrs would be stood behind me arms crossed "
Exactly!! In the real world I no longer date, flirt or approach anyone in a flirtatious way! I have no way of knowing whether they're single or remotely interested in me! I also have no idea what their sexual interests are!
I much prefer fab as I'm a straight talking person - and on here I can be myself! On the occasions when I've made the first move I've rarely been turned down! I'm very lucky! |
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