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Someone shoot me...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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My sex life is currently my biggest source of embarrassment... I managed to deep throat a few nights ago for the first time - yay, me! - then I went too deep and threw up in my mouth slightly afterwards, having to do a panicked naked run of shame to my fwb's mum's bathroom.
I think I'm just going to never ever have ANY sexual contact with anyone EVER AGAIN.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh blimey hey dont worry we all have our moments .
Once in a deep passionate intimate moment with some one so very special I got crap in my legs . Lol ha ha so very unsexy hobbling about a field , buck naked crying ouch !!!!! Lol
We laughed about it later x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My sex life is currently my biggest source of embarrassment... I managed to deep throat a few nights ago for the first time - yay, me! - then I went too deep and threw up in my mouth slightly afterwards, having to do a panicked naked run of shame to my fwb's mum's bathroom.
I think I'm just going to never ever have ANY sexual contact with anyone EVER AGAIN. "
Serves you right for being a dirty bitch   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh blimey hey dont worry we all have our moments .
Once in a deep passionate intimate moment with some one so very special I got crap in my legs . Lol ha ha so very unsexy hobbling about a field , buck naked crying ouch !!!!! Lol
We laughed about it later x"
Took me a couple of reads ... presume you meant cramp  |
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By *hortieWoman
over a year ago
Northampton |
"Oh blimey hey dont worry we all have our moments .
Once in a deep passionate intimate moment with some one so very special I got crap in my legs . Lol ha ha so very unsexy hobbling about a field , buck naked crying ouch !!!!! Lol
We laughed about it later x"
Best typo of the day!! (well, I hope it was a typo anyway)    |
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"Oh blimey hey dont worry we all have our moments .
Once in a deep passionate intimate moment with some one so very special I got crap in my legs . Lol ha ha so very unsexy hobbling about a field , buck naked crying ouch !!!!! Lol
We laughed about it later x"
Crap or cramp!? |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
I wouldn't worry about it. I am a total klutz. I've rolled off beds, fallen over, lost my knickers, left my knickers on underneath a catsuit (kind of ruined the unzipping moment) and various other stupid things. Luckily my regular meets find the klutziness endearing. Or at least pretend to.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh blimey hey dont worry we all have our moments .
Once in a deep passionate intimate moment with some one so very special I got crap in my legs . Lol ha ha so very unsexy hobbling about a field , buck naked crying ouch !!!!! Lol
We laughed about it later x
Took me a couple of reads ... presume you meant cramp "
Oh blimey blumming typos yes it was cramp , cramp cramp.i tell you not anything from my botty lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've thrown up one someones cock while deep throating it. think most of us have done something similar.
I've puked on 2 or 3. Given up on the idea of deep throat now lol"
Lol. I don't think you have to give up but i'm well aware not to eat while on a meet now. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Oh blimey hey dont worry we all have our moments .
Once in a deep passionate intimate moment with some one so very special I got crap in my legs . Lol ha ha so very unsexy hobbling about a field , buck naked crying ouch !!!!! Lol
We laughed about it later x"
I really hope you meant cramp.
Sex is undignified, messy, and has endless potential for disaster. Lord only knows why we keep on wanting to do it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Can we bear in mind that this occurred two nights after he inserted fingers inside me only to find my moon cup, after I forgot I had it in??
He's a keeper then.  "
Yes, yes he is |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You think that's bad ! I once went back with a girl after a night out and woke in the middle of the night busting for a wee and so parched i could have drink my my own piss ! So I venture downstairs to the kitchen and step in dog mess ! Boom straight through most of my toes on my right foot ! Fuming I'm now washing my foot completely naked in her sink ( I almost sick so the first tap available) when her Mum & Dad walk in from a night out picture this !?!? Started naked washing dog shit of in their kitchen sink ! It was a long time before i could have a one night stand again ! Years ago but i still ask if they have a dog Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My sex life is currently my biggest source of embarrassment... I managed to deep throat a few nights ago for the first time - yay, me! - then I went too deep and threw up in my mouth slightly afterwards, having to do a panicked naked run of shame to my fwb's mum's bathroom.
I think I'm just going to never ever have ANY sexual contact with anyone EVER AGAIN. "
. ((( HUG ))) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can we bear in mind that this occurred two nights after he inserted fingers inside me only to find my moon cup, after I forgot I had it in??
He's a keeper then.
Yes, yes he is "
Never heard the phrase moon cup before, sounds funny |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Can we bear in mind that this occurred two nights after he inserted fingers inside me only to find my moon cup, after I forgot I had it in??
He's a keeper then.
Yes, yes he is
Never heard the phrase moon cup before, sounds funny "
Google it. Something to do with personal female hygiene |
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"Can we bear in mind that this occurred two nights after he inserted fingers inside me only to find my moon cup, after I forgot I had it in??
He's a keeper then.
Yes, yes he is
Never heard the phrase moon cup before, sounds funny
Google it. Something to do with personal female hygiene "
I googled it the other night after you mentioned it. I really wish I hadn't. Made me feel a bit ill! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My sex life is currently my biggest source of embarrassment... I managed to deep throat a few nights ago for the first time - yay, me! - then I went too deep and threw up in my mouth slightly afterwards, having to do a panicked naked run of shame to my fwb's mum's bathroom.
I think I'm just going to never ever have ANY sexual contact with anyone EVER AGAIN. "
I've done the same, only it was as he came.....I held the vomit and cum in my mouth and slipped off to the loo... Not the best cocktail hahahah |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You think that's bad ! I once went back with a girl after a night out and woke in the middle of the night busting for a wee and so parched i could have drink my my own piss ! So I venture downstairs to the kitchen and step in dog mess ! Boom straight through most of my toes on my right foot ! Fuming I'm now washing my foot completely naked in her sink ( I almost sick so the first tap available) when her Mum & Dad walk in from a night out picture this !?!? Started naked washing dog shit of in their kitchen sink ! It was a long time before i could have a one night stand again ! Years ago but i still ask if they have a dog Lol "
PMSL!!!!!!!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Can we bear in mind that this occurred two nights after he inserted fingers inside me only to find my moon cup, after I forgot I had it in??
He's a keeper then.
Yes, yes he is
Never heard the phrase moon cup before, sounds funny
Google it. Something to do with personal female hygiene
I googled it the other night after you mentioned it. I really wish I hadn't. Made me feel a bit ill! "
If you imagine it with the stem cut off, it's not half as bad
Though I had a painful moment with the stem before I cut it off. My life is a long list of awkward moments. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My sex life is currently my biggest source of embarrassment... I managed to deep throat a few nights ago for the first time - yay, me! - then I went too deep and threw up in my mouth slightly afterwards, having to do a panicked naked run of shame to my fwb's mum's bathroom.
I think I'm just going to never ever have ANY sexual contact with anyone EVER AGAIN.
I've done the same, only it was as he came.....I held the vomit and cum in my mouth and slipped off to the loo... Not the best cocktail hahahah "
Oh yack  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You think that's bad ! I once went back with a girl after a night out and woke in the middle of the night busting for a wee and so parched i could have drink my my own piss ! So I venture downstairs to the kitchen and step in dog mess ! Boom straight through most of my toes on my right foot ! Fuming I'm now washing my foot completely naked in her sink ( I almost sick so the first tap available) when her Mum & Dad walk in from a night out picture this !?!? Started naked washing dog shit of in their kitchen sink ! It was a long time before i could have a one night stand again ! Years ago but i still ask if they have a dog Lol
PMSL!!!!!!!
"
Sorry about the few mistakes in grammer but laughing and typing ! Bloody true story though ! Yuk |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can we bear in mind that this occurred two nights after he inserted fingers inside me only to find my moon cup, after I forgot I had it in?? "
Hahaha. The lady in Boots advised me that you can have sex with the Moon Cup in...NOT TRUE |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You think that's bad ! I once went back with a girl after a night out and woke in the middle of the night busting for a wee and so parched i could have drink my my own piss ! So I venture downstairs to the kitchen and step in dog mess ! Boom straight through most of my toes on my right foot ! Fuming I'm now washing my foot completely naked in her sink ( I almost sick so the first tap available) when her Mum & Dad walk in from a night out picture this !?!? Started naked washing dog shit of in their kitchen sink ! It was a long time before i could have a one night stand again ! Years ago but i still ask if they have a dog Lol "
Thanks Brody I have just laughed so hard I can't see for the tears |
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"Can we bear in mind that this occurred two nights after he inserted fingers inside me only to find my moon cup, after I forgot I had it in??
He's a keeper then.
Yes, yes he is
Never heard the phrase moon cup before, sounds funny
Google it. Something to do with personal female hygiene
I googled it the other night after you mentioned it. I really wish I hadn't. Made me feel a bit ill!
If you imagine it with the stem cut off, it's not half as bad
Though I had a painful moment with the stem before I cut it off. My life is a long list of awkward moments."
That doesn't help at all! I really don't like anything to do with menstruation. I don't like blood   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've thrown up one someones cock while deep throating it. think most of us have done something similar. "
Me too - Just swollowed it back down again along with the cum. L. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You think that's bad ! I once went back with a girl after a night out and woke in the middle of the night busting for a wee and so parched i could have drink my my own piss ! So I venture downstairs to the kitchen and step in dog mess ! Boom straight through most of my toes on my right foot ! Fuming I'm now washing my foot completely naked in her sink ( I almost sick so the first tap available) when her Mum & Dad walk in from a night out picture this !?!? Started naked washing dog shit of in their kitchen sink ! It was a long time before i could have a one night stand again ! Years ago but i still ask if they have a dog Lol "
Hahahahhahahahahahahaha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You think that's bad ! I once went back with a girl after a night out and woke in the middle of the night busting for a wee and so parched i could have drink my my own piss ! So I venture downstairs to the kitchen and step in dog mess ! Boom straight through most of my toes on my right foot ! Fuming I'm now washing my foot completely naked in her sink ( I almost sick so the first tap available) when her Mum & Dad walk in from a night out picture this !?!? Started naked washing dog shit of in their kitchen sink ! It was a long time before i could have a one night stand again ! Years ago but i still ask if they have a dog Lol
PMSL!!!!!!!
"
That's brilliant |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I threw up a nights worth of red wine over my exes white sofa and cream carpet after he decided to face fuck me without prior warning...that taught him! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Harley Quimm... It could be worse. An ex deep throated me (while watching herself in the full length mirror) and ended up giving herself an ear infection because she forced it down a bit too hard.
She had to go to the doctors and said that she was squirming when she explained how she got it!
Before anyone reads the wrong thing into this, she effectively strained her throat and as we all know, ear, nose and throat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You think that's bad.....I actually threw up all.down myself (managed to miss him completely somehow) and had to rush off for a shower, complete with my stockings and suspenders etc"
I did that with hubby. Once I sorted myself out he refused to carry on  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I threw up a nights worth of red wine over my exes white sofa and cream carpet after he decided to face fuck me without prior warning...that taught him!
"
Been there! |
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"Some do actually like the gag reflexes as they throw up on the cock lol "
I hate Swedish porn for this exact reason and also it's always Abba lookalikes that end up doing a 4sum to 'gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight' |
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By *ildt123Man
over a year ago
Huddersfield |
"My sex life is currently my biggest source of embarrassment... I managed to deep throat a few nights ago for the first time - yay, me! - then I went too deep and threw up in my mouth slightly afterwards, having to do a panicked naked run of shame to my fwb's mum's bathroom.
I think I'm just going to never ever have ANY sexual contact with anyone EVER AGAIN. "
Stop fretting, if you're prepared to make such an effort to please then he should be bloody grateful, and if he isn't ask him to show you how to do better lmfao |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I never worried about a guy cumming in my mouth.....until one day a guy produced so much faster than the speed of light and almost killed me! Now it's a phobia!!! |
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"I never worried about a guy cumming in my mouth.....until one day a guy produced so much faster than the speed of light and almost killed me! Now it's a phobia!!! "
silly! That's what nostrils are for! Cum overflow! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've cum from a blow job once and only once in my life, she ran straight to the toilet and puked her ring up.
Once with a girl, went for an after sex wee and came back to the room, opened the door and realised I needed to fart. Rabbit in headlights moment, decided to go back out the door to let it go..then let go the biggest loudest fart in the history of man. I thought 'shite she's bound to have heard that'. I opened the door again expecting a stern face but she was in tears laughing, so that was alright in the end haha |
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"Oh blimey hey dont worry we all have our moments .
Once in a deep passionate intimate moment with some one so very special I got crap in my legs . Lol ha ha so very unsexy hobbling about a field , buck naked crying ouch !!!!! Lol
We laughed about it later x
Took me a couple of reads ... presume you meant cramp "
I did picture that and wished I hadnt .. cramp does sound better  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some do actually like the gag reflexes as they throw up on the cock lol
I hate Swedish porn for this exact reason and also it's always Abba lookalikes that end up doing a 4sum to 'gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight' "
lol that's a good one and yes few look like abba dot they. |
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"Some do actually like the gag reflexes as they throw up on the cock lol
I hate Swedish porn for this exact reason and also it's always Abba lookalikes that end up doing a 4sum to 'gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight' lol that's a good one and yes few look like abba dot they."
I don't know. I've never seen Bennys cock or Agnethas pussy  |
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