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Bullying.........

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By *etillante OP   Woman  over a year ago

.

Was mentioned on the radio this evening that bullying may be made illegal in schools, both in person and cyber.

Do you think that bullies deserve to be punished by the law or should it be kept within the school environment?

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By *iewMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

law... I was badly bullied at school and 35 years later.. some of it still gets to me.

xx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The schools have NO power when it comes to bullying so it should be a police matter if severe.

Some kids have commited suicide over bullying.

It needs to be taken more serious than it is.

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By *aravancoupleMan  over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love


"Was mentioned on the radio this evening that bullying may be made illegal in schools, both in person and cyber.

Do you think that bullies deserve to be punished by the law or should it be kept within the school environment?"

I think a mixes of both depending on how bad the bullying is

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Think it's very much a mix- when my sister was bullied, she had no hesitation in coming to me, and luckily I put a stop to it, but if I hadn't still been at school I don't know how bad it may have gotten....both schools and police may need to be involved

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I would have knocked seven loads of shite out of anyone bullying my son , luckily he didnt have to much bother.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

We have just moved house kids started new high school son got bullied instant dismisal from school as school operates a no bullying policy i say this should be brought into all schools would sort out the bullying and send the neds to an all bully school see how they like it being turned on them

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

No it shouldn't be a police matter.

We always found that a quiet conversation between the bully and 4 or 5 of us, behind the bike sheds, always calmed things down ......

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By *eterpan6b1Couple  over a year ago

Hedon

Bullying not only takes place at school but in my experience can take place at work.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Surely its already illegal?

Physically pushing/punching/attacking someone certainly is and I would be surprised if verbal abuse/intimidating behaviour wasn't.

Maybe the police should be getting involved already.

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By *etillante OP   Woman  over a year ago

.


"We have just moved house kids started new high school son got bullied instant dismisal from school as school operates a no bullying policy i say this should be brought into all schools would sort out the bullying and send the neds to an all bully school see how they like it being turned on them "

Good point, is the way to deal with bullies with other bullies?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Our daughter was getting bullied for a while till i went and kicked up a fuss !! amazing what stamping yer feet and shouting loud does !

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I've never experienced it myself personally, always been too big and ugly to be messed with, lol, but I know how devastating it can be to the victims, so I believe the full weight of the law should be used to bring the bullies to rights.

Trouble is though, you've only got to look at how the courts deal with so called serious crime, that it's hard to see the bullies suffering too much.

After all, the cowardly bastards have rights too, so the pc brigade will tell us.

If only an eye for an eye type justice could be metered out.

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By *atisfy janeWoman  over a year ago

Torquay

I would have thought that for the police to become involved and for any prosecution to follow, there would be a significant need for evidence that had every probabilty of leading to a conviction in court to be collected.

Not easy to establish proof of bullying in most cases I would have thought.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"We have just moved house kids started new high school son got bullied instant dismisal from school as school operates a no bullying policy i say this should be brought into all schools would sort out the bullying and send the neds to an all bully school see how they like it being turned on them

Good point, is the way to deal with bullies with other bullies?"

why not they get a kick out doing it why not see what its like theres always someone tougher than the other

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

That's great to say, but then what if they get expelled for bullying?

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By *he_original_poloWoman  over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Where is the line between bullying and kids being kids?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Where is the line between bullying and kids being kids?"

when your son daughter comes home bruised hides away starts skipping school all through fear kids can be kids and the usual name calling can be dealt with but theres some nasty ones out there that need to be STOPPED

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"That's great to say, but then what if they get expelled for bullying?"

a school for naughty boys n girls sent away from home mon to frid home at the weekend some would say holiday camp but stricter

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By *b430Man  over a year ago

Tayside


"Where is the line between bullying and kids being kids?"

The line can usually be quite obvious especially when it leads to some of the kids being bullied trying and sometimes succeeding in taking their own lives over it.

Most folk can see the difference between kids being kids and bullying!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Where is the line between bullying and kids being kids?

when your son daughter comes home bruised hides away starts skipping school all through fear kids can be kids and the usual name calling can be dealt with but theres some nasty ones out there that need to be STOPPED "

Coming home with a broken arm says to me it needs to be stopped

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Not easy to establish proof of bullying in most cases I would have thought."

That seemed to be the conclusion of the news report I saw. There are varying degrees of bullying and I don't think people want to criminalise children.

Most of the personal cases I dealt with involved bullying at work. It's hard to prove!

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By *he_original_poloWoman  over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"Where is the line between bullying and kids being kids?

The line can usually be quite obvious especially when it leads to some of the kids being bullied trying and sometimes succeeding in taking their own lives over it.

Most folk can see the difference between kids being kids and bullying! "

So define it then... if it is so clear.

(without a google definition)

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It's very hard to prove, but the wee fucker who broke my sisters arm got away with it, whilst I was the bully for telling him to leave her alone. ( I got him after he left school)

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I was bullyed at school for my spellings and reading wrighting had that years then it was girls singling me out and even now on some sites i get this. A lot of us are victims of victims and i will not become a bullie myself i will not get into groups and single people out as i know how it feel. I use to be really big as a child and i would get it for that too all sorts ..... but i learnd it was not me its was other people there hang-ups. So I feel it should stop in schools and chidren should know thay are safe to report it. JO XX

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By *b430Man  over a year ago

Tayside


"Where is the line between bullying and kids being kids?

The line can usually be quite obvious especially when it leads to some of the kids being bullied trying and sometimes succeeding in taking their own lives over it.

Most folk can see the difference between kids being kids and bullying!

So define it then... if it is so clear.

(without a google definition)"

Hey no need to bully me to try and make me feel small and humiliated, just because you believe you are better than me and think I should bow down and go hide in the corner then not coming out till I have explained what it means to you!

Is that a good enough definition for you then? Google wasn't used or needed!

But if others want to use Google to find out some other meanings/definitions don't be bullying them into not doing as they wish!

PS - A big tongue in cheek was also used in my post above, hope that's ok with you all.

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By *he_original_poloWoman  over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"Where is the line between bullying and kids being kids?

The line can usually be quite obvious especially when it leads to some of the kids being bullied trying and sometimes succeeding in taking their own lives over it.

Most folk can see the difference between kids being kids and bullying!

So define it then... if it is so clear.

(without a google definition)

Hey no need to bully me to try and make me feel small and humiliated, just because you believe you are better than me and think I should bow down and go hide in the corner then not coming out till I have explained what it means to you!

Is that a good enough definition for you then? Google wasn't used or needed!

But if others want to use Google to find out some other meanings/definitions don't be bullying them into not doing as they wish!

PS - A big tongue in cheek was also used in my post above, hope that's ok with you all. "

You prove an excellent point akin .... just how easy it is to label someone a bully.

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By *ung and readyMan  over a year ago

newcastle under lyme


"Was mentioned on the radio this evening that bullying may be made illegal in schools, both in person and cyber.

Do you think that bullies deserve to be punished by the law or should it be kept within the school environment?"

In my background i had a girl come to one of my classes who had bn abused and bullied she would not talk at first.

after a few mnths of training her parents came to me and thanked me as she had came out of her shell and spoke to them of her dealings of the past.

She changed after this got her self esteem back her posture and body movements had changed to a able alert person.

This made me more aware as i saw this first hand.

Bullys should be made example of whether it is a snide remark or entering into the victims personal space.

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By *b430Man  over a year ago

Tayside


"Where is the line between bullying and kids being kids?

The line can usually be quite obvious especially when it leads to some of the kids being bullied trying and sometimes succeeding in taking their own lives over it.

Most folk can see the difference between kids being kids and bullying!

So define it then... if it is so clear.

(without a google definition)

Hey no need to bully me to try and make me feel small and humiliated, just because you believe you are better than me and think I should bow down and go hide in the corner then not coming out till I have explained what it means to you!

Is that a good enough definition for you then? Google wasn't used or needed!

But if others want to use Google to find out some other meanings/definitions don't be bullying them into not doing as they wish!

PS - A big tongue in cheek was also used in my post above, hope that's ok with you all.

You prove an excellent point akin .... just how easy it is to label someone a bully."

You prove another excellent point with your reply too, that is - If someone feels they are being bullied then they probably are!

What one person classes as a bully might not be the same for the next person, but if what someone does, says, etc to someone else makes them feel intimidated, hurt, upset, suicidal, etc, etc, etc then it's wrong and should be stopped!

If you really want me to keep explaining this to you then I will as the Council Training I received on just this subject might come in handy for you too!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I was bullied at school and at home by my father

On both occassions I learned that the only way to defeat a bully is to fight back and not let the bully prevail. In essence bully the bully back, most are cowards and schools should use some old-fashioned discipline to deal with them

I'm not one for introducing new laws, I would have thought laws forbidding intimidation would cover such offences.

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By *he_original_poloWoman  over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"Where is the line between bullying and kids being kids?

The line can usually be quite obvious especially when it leads to some of the kids being bullied trying and sometimes succeeding in taking their own lives over it.

Most folk can see the difference between kids being kids and bullying!

So define it then... if it is so clear.

(without a google definition)

Hey no need to bully me to try and make me feel small and humiliated, just because you believe you are better than me and think I should bow down and go hide in the corner then not coming out till I have explained what it means to you!

Is that a good enough definition for you then? Google wasn't used or needed!

But if others want to use Google to find out some other meanings/definitions don't be bullying them into not doing as they wish!

PS - A big tongue in cheek was also used in my post above, hope that's ok with you all.

You prove an excellent point akin .... just how easy it is to label someone a bully.

You prove another excellent point with your reply too, that is - If someone feels they are being bullied then they probably are!

What one person classes as a bully might not be the same for the next person, but if what someone does, says, etc to someone else makes them feel intimidated, hurt, upset, suicidal, etc, etc, etc then it's wrong and should be stopped!

If you really want me to keep explaining this to you then I will as the Council Training I received on just this subject might come in handy for you too! "

Another excellent point... how easily the bullied becomes the bully.

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By *he_original_poloWoman  over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

When you make things illegal, that is a criminal offence, they need a bit clearer definition than... well it depends on how a person takes it.

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By *b430Man  over a year ago

Tayside


"When you make things illegal, that is a criminal offence, they need a bit clearer definition than... well it depends on how a person takes it."

Do you mean like you asking me for a personal definition of bullying and then you posting the reply you did above then?

And there was me thinking you were letting me out of the corner without giving me a slap on the way past that is!

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By *he_original_poloWoman  over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"

And there was me thinking you were letting me out of the corner without giving me a slap on the way past that is!

"

I could tell you were secretly waiting for a botty spank and didn't want to disappoint

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

the only thing a bully understands is when they get a right good kicking.

usually they hunt in packs because it makes them feel stronger.

so you wait and take them out.

and when one of them has been delt with the shockwave spreads to the rest of them because they suddenly realize they could be next.

never be idle when waiting.

never let them win.

eye for an eye.

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By *b430Man  over a year ago

Tayside


"

And there was me thinking you were letting me out of the corner without giving me a slap on the way past that is!

I could tell you were secretly waiting for a botty spank and didn't want to disappoint "

A light spanking only though, I wouldn't want any marks left that could be taken the wrong way by others!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Im going to be a bore now but the kids have all the power adults cant punish them there is cctv in classrooms not to protect the students but to protect the teachers. Im not saying bring back corpral punishment but the kids have no fear of nothing we need to give the power back to the adults. Bullies are nothing but weak cowards.

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By *oddyWoman  over a year ago

between havant and chichester

was bullied at school then last yr the person who bullied me started work at same place and started all over again like at school reported was taken no notice of it was me making it up untill she was seen and overheard doing it

was pleased when she was given the sack but it should have been stopped in the 1st place

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Well said shaz

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I was also bullied at School untill I realised I could actually fight, I sorted out the Bullies and now detest any Bully and will step in

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Polo asked for a definition of what being bullied is, or what a bully is. Another post asked where is the line drawn between bullying and kids being kids (Polo again, and no, I'm not picking on you lol)..

Kids jostle for position in the playground as they have not yet learned how to network across various social groups, they haven't got the life skills that we attain as adults, so they claw at each other like young cubs rough and tumbling together. That's kids being kids.

But every so often one of them takes it a bit further. Either because they love the rough and tumbling a little too much, or they're much bigger than the other kids and enjoy the power advantage it gives them, or they enjoy the feeling of superiority felt when other kids deliberately step aside when they approach. Some kids just like using their fists, and thus use them frequently to get what they want - often on the same kid/s.

That's a bully.

Should it be criminilised?

No.

What sort of message are we sending out to young minds that results in them having a criminal record before they've learned how to deal with the myriad of situations life is going to throw at them. (Not to be confused with the true criminal element who consciously laugh at the law). The responsibility rests with the school and/or education authority but they are increasingly too afraid to act for fear of being listed as a 'problem school' and appearing at the lower end of the school tables each year.

My daughter's teachers have a mandate from me to act as her guardian in my absence, with all the rights associated with that role for admonishing any bad behaviour. Removing a teacher's obligation to castigate a child for misbehaving has also had a huge impact on bullies feeling that they are untouchable. They can't serve a detention without prior written approval from a parent and corporal punishment was outlawed some years ago. They ARE untouchable. And they know it.

If a child of mine was ever the victim of bullying, and the school failed to act, then I would have a quiet word with the bully's parent along the lines of: "The next time your kid touches my kid, I come looking for you, and you will not enjoy the experience. Got it?"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

bullys are never tough on their own doorstep.

and the wife will soon get pissed off if you turn up ready to sort him.

as i say they make threats.

never return the threat. make it a fact and show your for real.

only way they stop.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Polo asked for a definition of what being bullied is, or what a bully is. Another post asked where is the line drawn between bullying and kids being kids (Polo again, and no, I'm not picking on you lol)..

Kids jostle for position in the playground as they have not yet learned how to network across various social groups, they haven't got the life skills that we attain as adults, so they claw at each other like young cubs rough and tumbling together. That's kids being kids.

But every so often one of them takes it a bit further. Either because they love the rough and tumbling a little too much, or they're much bigger than the other kids and enjoy the power advantage it gives them, or they enjoy the feeling of superiority felt when other kids deliberately step aside when they approach. Some kids just like using their fists, and thus use them frequently to get what they want - often on the same kid/s.

That's a bully.

Should it be criminilised?

No.

What sort of message are we sending out to young minds that results in them having a criminal record before they've learned how to deal with the myriad of situations life is going to throw at them. (Not to be confused with the true criminal element who consciously laugh at the law). The responsibility rests with the school and/or education authority but they are increasingly too afraid to act for fear of being listed as a 'problem school' and appearing at the lower end of the school tables each year.

My daughter's teachers have a mandate from me to act as her guardian in my absence, with all the rights associated with that role for admonishing any bad behaviour. Removing a teacher's obligation to castigate a child for misbehaving has also had a huge impact on bullies feeling that they are untouchable. They can't serve a detention without prior written approval from a parent and corporal punishment was outlawed some years ago. They ARE untouchable. And they know it.

If a child of mine was ever the victim of bullying, and the school failed to act, then I would have a quiet word with the bully's parent along the lines of: "The next time your kid touches my kid, I come looking for you, and you will not enjoy the experience. Got it?""

That was pretty much what I said to my sister's bully- I got a week's suspension for it- even though I didn't touch the little shit til he lfet school

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Bullying happens in all walks of life.

Family/Friends/Work colleagues and on sites of this nature, albeit through chatroom or forum posts!

The best way too handle "Bullies" is too stand up and confront them!

They'll soon shy off, tails between their legs!

Bippy x


"Was mentioned on the radio this evening that bullying may be made illegal in schools, both in person and cyber.

Do you think that bullies deserve to be punished by the law or should it be kept within the school environment?"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

i was bullied from 10 till leaving school it can have a lasting effect on your life.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

When I was at school you were either bullied, a bully or joined a gang.

I don't think there's any more bullying now than there ever was.

It seems to me, because kids these days are so mollycoddled, that often what they see as bullying we'd have just called everyday life. R

XX

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Bullying happens in all walks of life.

Family/Friends/Work colleagues and on sites of this nature, albeit through chatroom or forum posts!

The best way too handle "Bullies" is too stand up and confront them!

They'll soon shy off, tails between their legs!

Bippy x

Was mentioned on the radio this evening that bullying may be made illegal in schools, both in person and cyber.

Do you think that bullies deserve to be punished by the law or should it be kept within the school environment?"

Standing up and confronting them resulted in my sister getting a broken arm- it wasn't til I stepped in it got better- and I was put out of school for it

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

i think bullying is much more severe now cos kids r so much more streetwise and see much more of life now .....more now that ever.......

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

People who bully now believe they are untouchable as others can no longer use physical measures, let alone verbally challenge without the cowardly bully shouts " I know my rights!"

The worsening situation in this country reflects the swing from responsibilities to rights - we urgently need to redress this imbalance so bullies realise that their actions mean they take away others rights to live without fear

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm sorry to hear that.

I stand by my post post, stand up to them, be affirmative, trust me, they'll soon back down and realise their own insecurities should not pass on to others!

I deplore bullies!

That said it's been suggested only here that I may be one, purely for my forum posts!

I'm not.


"Bullying happens in all walks of life.

Family/Friends/Work colleagues and on sites of this nature, albeit through chatroom or forum posts!

The best way too handle "Bullies" is too stand up and confront them!

They'll soon shy off, tails between their legs!

Bippy x

Was mentioned on the radio this evening that bullying may be made illegal in schools, both in person and cyber.

Do you think that bullies deserve to be punished by the law or should it be kept within the school environment?

Standing up and confronting them resulted in my sister getting a broken arm- it wasn't til I stepped in it got better- and I was put out of school for it"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Of course there is they always have contact facebook texts ie its not just at school the people getting bullied cant escape. Intimidation is so much more intense and its not just verbal or the odd slap but oh so vicious.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Of course there is they always have contact facebook texts ie its not just at school the people getting bullied cant escape. Intimidation is so much more intense and its not just verbal or the odd slap but oh so vicious."

Indeed they do, but I always had access to my sister's pages, so I knew where they were. Now that we're not in school, I can do what I want to them- they no longer know where to find me :o)

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By *he_original_poloWoman  over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"When I was at school you were either bullied, a bully or joined a gang.

I don't think there's any more bullying now than there ever was.

It seems to me, because kids these days are so mollycoddled, that often what they see as bullying we'd have just called everyday life. R

XX"

I wouldn't disagree with that.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The schools have NO power when it comes to bullying so it should be a police matter if severe.

Some kids have commited suicide over bullying.

It needs to be taken more serious than it is. "

Yes it should, too many tend to treat is as "simple pecking order" issues.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

horrible , believe good manners and common decency are taught at home, treat others as you wud expect yourself , respect your elders etc, we scared death of teachers letter or local bobby or wag man knockin on door My brother had 2 re morgage and move as niece wos getting hassle at school every night, pretty girl at wits end! Pure heartbreak to watch

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By *etillante OP   Woman  over a year ago

.


"i think bullying is much more severe now cos kids r so much more streetwise and see much more of life now .....more now that ever......."

But the childhood bullies from years ago are now the adult bullies of today.

So how are todays 'streetwise' bullies going to be when the get into their 30s and 40s

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"i think bullying is much more severe now cos kids r so much more streetwise and see much more of life now .....more now that ever.......

But the childhood bullies from years ago are now the adult bullies of today.

So how are todays 'streetwise' bullies going to be when the get into their 30s and 40s"

Either dead or banged up.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"People who bully now believe they are untouchable as others can no longer use physical measures, let alone verbally challenge without the cowardly bully shouts " I know my rights!"

The worsening situation in this country reflects the swing from responsibilities to rights - we urgently need to redress this imbalance so bullies realise that their actions mean they take away others rights to live without fear"

Which is obviously the result of getting rid of corporal punishment.

Despite what all the bleeding hearts and tree huggers say........nothing teaches you as effectively as pain. R

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Talking of Bullying!

Hands up who has not been bullied on here, be it in the Chat/Forum or by email?

Answers on a postcard!

Bippy x

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By *etillante OP   Woman  over a year ago

.

Bippy

that is the very nature of bullying. that people are scared to post and admit to being bullied

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I was bullied in the last year of school. I had always loved school but the last year was hell until one day i snapped....kabooooom!!!!!

I turned on the bully in the clas room and she ended up in the hospital, took 4 teachers to drag me off her.

It was the last straw. I could take no more.

I had to wait in the heads office till my parents came and then the head tried to put all the blame on me. My dear old dad went ballistic and he rarely lost his cool. Telling the head exactly what he felt. The school knew i was bieng bullied yet refused to do anything.

The girl in question spent a week in hospital and in turn i was sent to a trick cyclist to have my head examined.

He said in his report that no i wasnt mad. I had just had enough...

When returning to school, i was a different person...No longer afraid of anything.

Am i proud i put her in the ozzy...no.

But what i did i did out of sheer frustration.

We need the bullies to know we wont take their crap

Cuz i certainly wont or have since that day.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Talking of Bullying!

Hands up who has not been bullied on here, be it in the Chat/Forum or by email?

Answers on a postcard!

Bippy x"

I've never been bullied, neither here or anywhere

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"i think bullying is much more severe now cos kids r so much more streetwise and see much more of life now .....more now that ever.......

But the childhood bullies from years ago are now the adult bullies of today.

So how are todays 'streetwise' bullies going to be when the get into their 30s and 40s"

I agree with that comment about adult bullies. It surprises me sometimes how easy it is for an adult to bully other adult's, with no regard for how it makes them look...because, as an adult, it's not the victim i look at and think "pity"...it's the aggressor.

It's usually related to insecurity or a need to have power or control of situation..meaning they have little control over other areas of their life.

As kids, everyone sides with the bully as they're the 'cool' ones. As adults, we tend to look upon them either with pity or revulsion.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Jack,

Your lucky soo!


"Talking of Bullying!

Hands up who has not been bullied on here, be it in the Chat/Forum or by email?

Answers on a postcard!

Bippy x

I've never been bullied, neither here or anywhere "

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By *ugby 123Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo


"Talking of Bullying!

Hands up who has not been bullied on here, be it in the Chat/Forum or by email?

Answers on a postcard!

Bippy x"

Never.

People have disagreed with me in mails /chat and on the forums, but that is a different thing altogether.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Talking of Bullying!

Hands up who has not been bullied on here, be it in the Chat/Forum or by email?

Answers on a postcard!

Bippy x

Never.

People have disagreed with me in mails /chat and on the forums, but that is a different thing altogether."

same here.

However, had it happened (unless it was in flashing neons and was announced with a fanfare) I possibly wouldn't notice.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"People who bully now believe they are untouchable as others can no longer use physical measures, let alone verbally challenge without the cowardly bully shouts " I know my rights!"

The worsening situation in this country reflects the swing from responsibilities to rights - we urgently need to redress this imbalance so bullies realise that their actions mean they take away others rights to live without fear

Which is obviously the result of getting rid of corporal punishment.

Despite what all the bleeding hearts and tree huggers say........nothing teaches you as effectively as pain. R"

oh yeah, wanna come over ere n say that?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Talking of Bullying!

Hands up who has not been bullied on here, be it in the Chat/Forum or by email?

Answers on a postcard!

Bippy x"

where exactly would you like us to put our hands up

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

our daughter was bullied for voer a year at a school with nil tolerence to bullying......was a nightmare, the head of the school even had the cheek to suggest we move our daughter for it to stop. It finally stopped (after also involving the police who at one stage arrested both girls involved), to threaten to actually take the head of the school to court and prosecute her personally for not abiding to school rules. suddenly everyone decided to take notice and within one day the bullying had stopped..... was an exhausting time for us all and affected our daughter for a long time afterwards too

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By *SwitchMan  over a year ago

Derby

I think it's a really tough one this, and there's no quick fix or easy solution. It's certainly not as easy as simply bringing back corporal punishment, either in schools or as a juidicial punishment. Though, as someone with Aspergers syndrome who has experienced bullying in all spheres of life, from school, through to college through to work and socially, as well as had close family and friends deal with it, I can completely understand how it can get to you so much that you want to inflict real physical pain on those responsible, as well as the real mental distress it can cause.

I think that early intervention with young bullies is the key, education both at home and in the classroom, and a strict zero tolerance policy for it thereafter. It has to be treated with the utmost severity.

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By *ngieandMrManCouple  over a year ago

hereford

I was bullied by my parents and teachers and pupils at school. When I was 14 It seems I had decided enough was enough when my dad raised his hand to me for the last time... I stopped him. This was a psychological turning point for me and saw an end to all of my bullying issues.

Now at 53 years old I'm being bullied again... by the police!!! No I'm not going into details or debating it, take my word for it or not, as it doesn't matter if people choose not to take my word for it as it won't change the truth.

I just found the idea of the police being invited to take a stand against bullying as rather ironic! But on the other hand in my experience they are the experts on the subject.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Where is the line between bullying and kids being kids?

The line can usually be quite obvious especially when it leads to some of the kids being bullied trying and sometimes succeeding in taking their own lives over it.

Most folk can see the difference between kids being kids and bullying!

So define it then... if it is so clear.

(without a google definition)"

I think it's quite simple. If they are breaking the law i.e assaulting the kids, then it's assault - ABH/GBH depending on what degree. If it's verbal/emotional, then technically it's not breaking the law until it ventures into stalking, which is breaking the law and that's for the courts and police to decide. But, just because they're kids, doesn't mean they get away with the "it's kids being kids" defence. That's why the world has gone mad! Kids rule it, and it's about time it was stopped.

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By *mcouple1Couple  over a year ago

nr warrington

my son was being bullied at school so i stopped it myself .How u ask ? Simple i stopped the kid on the way home and told him if he does it again i will slap the little bastard.Then i went to his parents had a polite word along the lines of , next time i will drag u out of ur home and knock the fuck out of u.

Never got bullied again.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I was bullied at school for 4 years had bricks thrown at me, punched, hit, verbally abused, even had my hair set alight with a bunsen burner. Did the school do anything, No they didn't. Finally lost it one day and punched the bully on the nose and knocked her flat on her arse. Then I took myself off to the head teacher told her what i'd done. Her words to me were "about bloody time someone did it"

When my daughter was being bullied by email from one of the girls in her class I went straight to her school. The were not interested as the bullying was not taking place on school premises. I went straight to the school governers and told them if something was not done I would go to my MP and the police.

The situation got dealt with at school. But a few days later I got threatend in the school by the parent. It ended up with the girls mother being banned from school premises.

So in answer to the original question yes I do think bullying should be a police matter.

An afternoon spent in a cell might deter a child from doing it again for even something worse.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Funnily enough even thou i have always been small i have never been bullied

There was an incident the day i started secondary school where the known school bully tried it on

But i just stood me ground and actually shouted him down

It never happened again ever xx

As for the original question there is a desperate need to bring back corporal punishment in schools

The talking bit has been tried and does not work xx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"my son was being bullied at school so i stopped it myself .How u ask ? Simple i stopped the kid on the way home and told him if he does it again i will slap the little bastard.Then i went to his parents had a polite word along the lines of , next time i will drag u out of ur home and knock the fuck out of u.

Never got bullied again."

That's exactly how I dealt with it with my daughter, and how my sister dealt with it with her son. Only way as far as I'm concerned.

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By *SwitchMan  over a year ago

Derby

I definitely think there's an argument for police involvement in some cases of bullying, though I baulk at the reintroduction of corporal punishment. It was abolished for a reason, there was no "golden age" when bullying did not happen. And it's effectively fighting fire with fire. Not that I'm arguing that it's not tempting to give some bullies a good smack, but it doesn't make it effective.

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By *ngieandMrManCouple  over a year ago

hereford


"Funnily enough even thou i have always been small i have never been bullied

There was an incident the day i started secondary school where the known school bully tried it on

But i just stood me ground and actually shouted him down

It never happened again ever xx

As for the original question there is a desperate need to bring back corporal punishment in schools

The talking bit has been tried and does not work xx"

My parents were like that Soapy, ‘if it doesn’t do as told/instructed then hit it’ and quite often that’s where corporal punishment gets used and often abused.

While I do not have the definitive answer as an example the fact that we have prisons proves they do not work as a so-called deterrent.

At school I’ve always observed this… a class of youngsters can behave appallingly with one tutor, then the SAME class of youngsters move to another tutor and behave perfectly. The only thing that has really changed is the tutor… so where does the problem of school discipline lay? Doesn’t take much working out!

In the short or ‘very local’ term violence does seem to solve the problem. I would agree in some cases it does or seems to, such as posters have said, give the bully a good pasting and it stops bullying. However, this isn’t strictly true, it just stops the bully bullying that particular individual it doesn’t ‘cure’ bullying.

While there may be exceptions we are programmed from birth ‘do as you are told or else’ = bullying, it’s a wonder there are not more bullies than there is as society actually creates them. “Little Billy, if you do that again I will hit you” The lesson Billy learns is ‘To get what you want ask first, if that doesn’t work HIT IT’ (or at least threaten to).

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"my son was being bullied at school so i stopped it myself .How u ask ? Simple i stopped the kid on the way home and told him if he does it again i will slap the little bastard.Then i went to his parents had a polite word along the lines of , next time i will drag u out of ur home and knock the fuck out of u.

Never got bullied again.

That's exactly how I dealt with it with my daughter, and how my sister dealt with it with her son. Only way as far as I'm concerned."

Its ok until you get reported as an adult for making threats of violence. doesn't that make you a bully as well?

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By *SwitchMan  over a year ago

Derby

That's an interesting argument savanna, though I must say, the parental instinct to intervene like that when your child is being bullied is quite strong, though I don't fundamentally disagree with you.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/11/10 13:52:42]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

My hubby john was bullied at school by this horrible person who was older than him at the time, years gone past John noticed a shop lifter in some shop he was working at revenge was so sweet he said, as the shop lifter was the bully who used to beat him up john got him in the holding room the bloke got so violent towards john knowing who he was at the time john ended up beating him up, when police came john did his statement,!And also told the police officer how he knew him and the officer said this could never happen to a nicer person revenge was so sweet that day for john what goes around comes around.

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By *ngieandMrManCouple  over a year ago

hereford

Seems John was VERY lucky not to have either the police and or the offenders defence turn Johns actions into premeditated assault based on history! But nevertheless I’d buy John a pint for his actions. Great story.

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By *heWolfMan  over a year ago

warwickshire

You can't legislate against bullying,it's part of life, it will NEVER be stamped out, no more than showing off to the opposite sex will be, it's deep within us. Unfortunately, life isn't nice, nature is red in tooth and claw, and contrary to what some would like to have kids believe, everyone can't be a winner, there are some poor bastards who are going to get the shitty end of the stick every time - LOSERS.

It's up to you, or your kids, to make sure you cope, to make sure you aren't a loser. People only get bullied long-term because they let themselves be bullied.

Beating the shit out of a bully isn't necessarily the answer because, in my experience, the worst bullies aren't the bruisers, it's the snidey little bastards who know how to destroy people with a few vicious words. They aren't stupid, they are going to appear to be little angels, but know exactly what buttons to press to get a reaction. There's never going to be legislation against that, they can crush others without even saying anything obviously nasty.

In fact, if you, or your kid, clatter a venomous little creep who has been tormenting, it could quite easily appear that YOU are the bully, the knuckle-dragging thug.

You just have to move on, to find a way to cope, YOU have to make the changes, it's useless thinking that those doing the bullying will change, so you have to go down another path, around those that be-devil your existence..

Many top comics were bullied, but used their talent of making people laugh to rise above the torment, there's always a way, unless you are a "natural victim" in which case, well, you are going to prove Darwin correct and those fitter will survive whilst you blubber in your own piss.

Everyone has something about them that will trump a bully - be it a knack for doing impressions or a really quick uppercut, either you uncover your talent, or you fail, which is it to be?

FWIW, I was bullied at school for a while, then they got bored and started on someone else, because they weren't as sharp-witted as me, so fuck 'em, my mind defeated their fists.

Although, eleven years afterwards, one of my tormentors came into my pub......whereupon I cheerfully battered him 6 ways to Sunday, without warning, whilst my astonished doormen looked on. The worst thing was, it didn't even make me feel that good, it wasn't exactly my proudest moment. When I'd fucked his sister, some years earlier, however,.......

Yep, revenge is sweet, (but it doesn't help anyone cope with being bullied at the time.)

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"my son was being bullied at school so i stopped it myself .How u ask ? Simple i stopped the kid on the way home and told him if he does it again i will slap the little bastard.Then i went to his parents had a polite word along the lines of , next time i will drag u out of ur home and knock the fuck out of u.

Never got bullied again.

That's exactly how I dealt with it with my daughter, and how my sister dealt with it with her son. Only way as far as I'm concerned.

Its ok until you get reported as an adult for making threats of violence. doesn't that make you a bully as well?"

I don't care. All I got from the "parents" was, it's kids being kids. All my sister got from the parents was, it's kids being kids. The boy who beat up her son was 14 and my nephew is 10. He then, along with a bunch of his mates, proceeded to trash my nephews bike. When is enough enough? The police are actually involved with the bike trashing incident, but only after my sis created merry hell and another boy's father witnessed the bike incident and intervened. Because he stood up and told his son that he was going to be a witness whether he liked it or not, the police can do something. But if that adult hadn't happened to be there, it would have been back to the kids being kids shite. A bully picks on people for no reason. I, as far as I'm concerned, disciplined the little shit - I never touched them, but the threat that I would was enough to knock them the hell out of my daughter's face. And if they come back in it, I will get back in theirs. I won't have my child terrified to go to school. I'm not one to sit around and wait for some miracle to happen. When the parents have the attitude this girl's parents did, you might as well be talking to a fekin wall. So no, I don't think I'm a bully. But I do think I stopped my daughter's schooling from going to pot. I'm not sorry for what I did and I would do it again in a second.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

That's an unfair comment Rugby!

I've always had the greatest respect for both you and HPC as forum MODs, I've always stated that! If by anyway my post offended you, well I'm sorry, it was never intentional.

Returning to the subject of the thread, I'll always stand by my replies, yes there are bullies in the chatrooms and indeed the forums.

People that, feel the need to reply, intimidate/make a poster look inferior purely to boost their own ego and popularity!

I've been slated about my profile and it's content, purely because being honest and stating what I am, who I am.

I've had snide forum posts making reference to my change of name, most of you will know me:

BIP/BIPPY/DASTARDLY/PITSTOP

Most recently I've been accused of being a NAZI!

"As he said - grammar Nazi not spelling Nazi"

I'll not name the fellow forum poster, that posted that, why because I couldn't give a.....

Like I've said, quick too or is that to?

jump in and undermine an OPs previous post too gain something that they in-fact lack!

Security in their own life.

Rant over.


"Talking of Bullying!

Hands up who has not been bullied on here, be it in the Chat/Forum or by email?

Answers on a postcard!

Bippy x

Never.

People have disagreed with me in mails /chat and on the forums, but that is a different thing altogether."

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By *ugby 123Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo


"That's an unfair comment Rugby!

I've always had the greatest respect for both you and HPC as forum MODs, I've always stated that! If by anyway my post offended you, well I'm sorry, it was never intentional.

Returning to the subject of the thread, I'll always stand by my replies, yes there are bullies in the chatrooms and indeed the forums.

People that, feel the need to reply, intimidate/make a poster look inferior purely to boost their own ego and popularity!

I've been slated about my profile and it's content, purely because being honest and stating what I am, who I am.

I've had snide forum posts making reference to my change of name, most of you will know me:

BIP/BIPPY/DASTARDLY/PITSTOP

Most recently I've been accused of being a NAZI!

"As he said - grammar Nazi not spelling Nazi"

I'll not name the fellow forum poster, that posted that, why because I couldn't give a.....

Like I've said, quick too or is that to?

jump in and undermine an OPs previous post too gain something that they in-fact lack!

Security in their own life.

Rant over.

Talking of Bullying!

Hands up who has not been bullied on here, be it in the Chat/Forum or by email?

Answers on a postcard!

Bippy x

Never.

People have disagreed with me in mails /chat and on the forums, but that is a different thing altogether."

Errr, you asked a question on the forums, I answered....why does that make it unfair?

Why would you think your post offended me?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Where is the line between bullying and kids being kids?

The line can usually be quite obvious especially when it leads to some of the kids being bullied trying and sometimes succeeding in taking their own lives over it.

Most folk can see the difference between kids being kids and bullying!

So define it then... if it is so clear.

(without a google definition)

Hey no need to bully me to try and make me feel small and humiliated, just because you believe you are better than me and think I should bow down and go hide in the corner then not coming out till I have explained what it means to you!

Is that a good enough definition for you then? Google wasn't used or needed!

But if others want to use Google to find out some other meanings/definitions don't be bullying them into not doing as they wish!

PS - A big tongue in cheek was also used in my post above, hope that's ok with you all.

You prove an excellent point akin .... just how easy it is to label someone a bully.

You prove another excellent point with your reply too, that is - If someone feels they are being bullied then they probably are!

What one person classes as a bully might not be the same for the next person, but if what someone does, says, etc to someone else makes them feel intimidated, hurt, upset, suicidal, etc, etc, etc then it's wrong and should be stopped!

If you really want me to keep explaining this to you then I will as the Council Training I received on just this subject might come in handy for you too! "

I feel intimidated and humiliated , scared and suicidal by your posts. Please stop posting.

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By *b430Man  over a year ago

Tayside


"

I feel intimidated and humiliated , scared and suicidal by your posts. Please stop posting. "

I might have believed that if the posts were actually a reply to your own posts, but seeing as they weren't then I will carry on posting!

But nice try at humour, good but no gold star this time.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

I feel intimidated and humiliated , scared and suicidal by your posts. Please stop posting.

I might have believed that if the posts were actually a reply to your own posts, but seeing as they weren't then I will carry on posting!

But nice try at humour, good but no gold star this time. "

That's okay x I don't hold you in regard as a judge of standards.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I remember a girl tried to bully me at the youth club disco. She came up to me and pushed me and said, outside when its finished, gonna kill ya.

I was terrified but there was no way I was gonna run and hide in a corner, i was gonna confront it even if she broke my legs. But I thought well if I get in first....... Im not a fighter, I think thats a really stupid thing to do but in this instance I was the one to go up to her and grab her and push her to the floor. She didnt expect me to start and thought I would run and hide, she got up and she would have hit me (there were a bunch of kids around us shouting scrap scrap scrap lol), but the staff split us up and told me to go home first. I ran all the way home, really scared. I didnt want to go to the youth club again but didnt want to look as if i was scared so the following week I went - never saw the girl again .

Bullies are bullies cos you are giving them the power

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I remember a girl tried to bully me at the youth club disco. She came up to me and pushed me and said, outside when its finished, gonna kill ya.

I was terrified but there was no way I was gonna run and hide in a corner, i was gonna confront it even if she broke my legs. But I thought well if I get in first....... Im not a fighter, I think thats a really stupid thing to do but in this instance I was the one to go up to her and grab her and push her to the floor. She didnt expect me to start and thought I would run and hide, she got up and she would have hit me (there were a bunch of kids around us shouting scrap scrap scrap lol), but the staff split us up and told me to go home first. I ran all the way home, really scared. I didnt want to go to the youth club again but didnt want to look as if i was scared so the following week I went - never saw the girl again .

Bullies are bullies cos you are giving them the power "

Im waiting for the honest posters.

You know .......the ones who are bullies.....

SHIT! I have a theory ....... swinging is the result of being bullied !

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I remember a girl tried to bully me at the youth club disco. She came up to me and pushed me and said, outside when its finished, gonna kill ya.

I was terrified but there was no way I was gonna run and hide in a corner, i was gonna confront it even if she broke my legs. But I thought well if I get in first....... Im not a fighter, I think thats a really stupid thing to do but in this instance I was the one to go up to her and grab her and push her to the floor. She didnt expect me to start and thought I would run and hide, she got up and she would have hit me (there were a bunch of kids around us shouting scrap scrap scrap lol), but the staff split us up and told me to go home first. I ran all the way home, really scared. I didnt want to go to the youth club again but didnt want to look as if i was scared so the following week I went - never saw the girl again .

Bullies are bullies cos you are giving them the power

Im waiting for the honest posters.

You know .......the ones who are bullies.....

SHIT! I have a theory ....... swinging is the result of being bullied !

"

I posted as a bully Granny- honest- I was!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Was mentioned on the radio this evening that bullying may be made illegal in schools, both in person and cyber.

Do you think that bullies deserve to be punished by the law or should it be kept within the school environment?"

Are these forums included?

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By *thwalescplCouple  over a year ago

brecon


"Was mentioned on the radio this evening that bullying may be made illegal in schools, both in person and cyber.

Do you think that bullies deserve to be punished by the law or should it be kept within the school environment?"

On a slightly different tack....

This Gillian "screech" woman on I'm a celeb is really pissing me off but....

I kinda feel sorry for her, two trials in two days, it must be obvious that the entire _iewing nation dislikes her enough to wish evil on her.

Now, normally it wouldnt bother me, but suddenly (I think I have finally grown up perhaps?) I feel sorry for her, and actually it now feels like she is being bullied, albeit indirectly, and that grates a little for me. Is it just me being over sensitive?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If constantly being ridiculed by different people, name called and made fun off is bullying, then ive had that all my life which is why i like swinger as they are much nicer people who care more for personality than looks

Personally I think the parents should be held responsible for their children's behaviour

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"That's an unfair comment Rugby!

I've always had the greatest respect for both you and HPC as forum MODs, I've always stated that! If by anyway my post offended you, well I'm sorry, it was never intentional.

Returning to the subject of the thread, I'll always stand by my replies, yes there are bullies in the chatrooms and indeed the forums.

People that, feel the need to reply, intimidate/make a poster look inferior purely to boost their own ego and popularity!

I've been slated about my profile and it's content, purely because being honest and stating what I am, who I am.

I've had snide forum posts making reference to my change of name, most of you will know me:

BIP/BIPPY/DASTARDLY/PITSTOP

Most recently I've been accused of being a NAZI!

"As he said - grammar Nazi not spelling Nazi"

I'll not name the fellow forum poster, that posted that, why because I couldn't give a.....

Like I've said, quick too or is that to?

jump in and undermine an OPs previous post too gain something that they in-fact lack!

Security in their own life.

Rant over.

Talking of Bullying!

Hands up who has not been bullied on here, be it in the Chat/Forum or by email?

Answers on a postcard!

Bippy x

Never.

People have disagreed with me in mails /chat and on the forums, but that is a different thing altogether."

Go back and read that thread, the original poster said he was a GRAMMAR NAZI - which I quoted to you in reply to your post in which you done your best to belittle him. I did not ever call you a nazi but as per usual you have jumped to the wrong conclusion.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Thanks for your input, I can read, if the said originator of this forum post felt in anyway I

belittled him then he had the opportunity to reply or contact me!

Did he tell you he felt "belittled" or do you speak for him also?


"

back and read that thread, the original poster said he was a GRAMMAR NAZI - which I quoted to you in reply to your post in which you done your best to belittle him. I did not ever call you a nazi but as per usual you have jumped to the wrong conclusion.

"

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