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Fab Auction
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've decided that I'm going to be auctioning off Fab members to raise some funs for a penis enlargement.
Who are you going to bid for and how much?
Don't be shy ladies and gents - show me the money.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've decided that I'm going to be auctioning off Fab members to raise some funs for a penis enlargement.
Who are you going to bid for and how much?
Don't be shy ladies and gents - show me the money.
"
Who gets the penis enlargement...?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Can I test the new penis??
You can auction me off.. I'll make a steak dinner in naughty lingerie
10 zilion pounds ?"
Apologies sir but your card was declined. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can I test the new penis??
You can auction me off.. I'll make a steak dinner in naughty lingerie
10 zilion pounds ?"
There you go lib sorted it out with one bid |
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"Can I test the new penis??
You can auction me off.. I'll make a steak dinner in naughty lingerie
10 zilion pounds ?
There you go lib sorted it out with one bid"
Contry to popular belive you have not sorted me out yet  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"*wonders how long till the thread gets shut down for offering to buy people even though it's in jest like the other one...  "
If it does it does. No worries.
All bids are legally binding though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can I test the new penis??
You can auction me off.. I'll make a steak dinner in naughty lingerie
I'll bid on this if I get to meet the new pup lol xx"
Yes puppy cuddles are included |
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By *MP3Man
over a year ago
Between Scylla and Charybdis |
I seem to remember a thread similar to this where the ladies appeared to be very tight indeed - I think 20p an hour was considered a good offer for most male's services, and many ladies wanted a two for one offer thrown in at that price 
It will be interesting to see what transpires here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I seem to remember a thread similar to this where the ladies appeared to be very tight indeed - I think 20p an hour was considered a good offer for most male's services, and many ladies wanted a two for one offer thrown in at that price
It will be interesting to see what transpires here "
Bogof sounds like a good deal ! |
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By *MP3Man
over a year ago
Between Scylla and Charybdis |
"I seem to remember a thread similar to this where the ladies appeared to be very tight indeed - I think 20p an hour was considered a good offer for most male's services, and many ladies wanted a two for one offer thrown in at that price
It will be interesting to see what transpires here
Bogof sounds like a good deal ! "
And the discounting begins... |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
oooh an auction...if you can satisfy your requirement for a penis enlargement through me being auctioned off..go for it  anything to fullfil someones fantasy..x
monopoly wise id sell Mayfair for the extension for you....if i had all the utilities and stations, i would invest in the elusive teleporter and share, and make geography history for all those what wanted to shag each others brains out...because im nice like that..
that aside, on with the auction... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i'll bid 2 everlasting gobstoppers and a curly wurly to be the photographer for anna anon..... "
Ooh I'll take the curly wurly. But since I'm my own photographer...doesn't that mean you'll be taking photos of yourself? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A Fabergé egg for the Wyrd wench.
Enough of the fluttering. That my final bid. x
As long as I get to keep the egg too "
Regrettably, the proceeds are ear-marked for the installation of Lib's Bionic member. You may however fondle and stroke said bejeweled orb. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"A Fabergé egg for the Wyrd wench.
Enough of the fluttering. That my final bid. x
As long as I get to keep the egg too
Regrettably, the proceeds are ear-marked for the installation of Lib's Bionic member. You may however fondle and stroke said bejeweled orb. "
And the egg?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A Fabergé egg for the Wyrd wench.
Enough of the fluttering. That my final bid. x
As long as I get to keep the egg too
Regrettably, the proceeds are ear-marked for the installation of Lib's Bionic member. You may however fondle and stroke said bejeweled orb.
And the egg? "
Rest assured wench, I shall feed you. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I will just sell myself,
Some naked house cleaning/gardening ?
or anything else 
Can i pay you in kind?
Only if you pay by the hour
"
How many hours can you spare? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I will just sell myself,
Some naked house cleaning/gardening ?
or anything else
Can i pay you in kind?
Only if you pay by the hour
How many hours can you spare?"
A jobs not finished until it's done right,
Or I will just have to put some overtime in
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
"I've decided that I'm going to be auctioning off Fab members to raise some funs for a penis enlargement.
Who are you going to bid for and how much?
Don't be shy ladies and gents - show me the money.
"
1. Why the hell would you want it enlarged?!
and
2. I can throw in half a packet of biltong, a single yoghurt left from a multipack and some KFC wipes if it'll help |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've decided that I'm going to be auctioning off Fab members to raise some funs for a penis enlargement.
Who are you going to bid for and how much?
Don't be shy ladies and gents - show me the money.
1. Why the hell would you want it enlarged?!
and
2. I can throw in half a packet of biltong, a single yoghurt left from a multipack and some KFC wipes if it'll help "
I will swop you the wipes for some left over chicken bones |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've decided that I'm going to be auctioning off Fab members to raise some funs for a penis enlargement.
Who are you going to bid for and how much?
Don't be shy ladies and gents - show me the money.
"
I'll give £50 for you...but I want you after the penis enlargement
-Courtney |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd pay 20 quid and a bag of Haribo for someone to go and milk Shag's cock behind his chosen bush in Penge. It's worth it just to see what he asks for next. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I will just sell myself,
Some naked house cleaning/gardening ?
or anything else
I need a cleaner. Do you do a student discount?"
Student! You lot have a reputation it could be a messy one, I would need payment upfront |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd pay 20 quid and a bag of Haribo for someone to go and milk Shag's cock behind his chosen bush in Penge. It's worth it just to see what he asks for next. "
pahahahaha!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What can I get for approx 1.5 feet of top quality hair that is no longer connected to my head?
What does the new hair cut look like "
^ looks like this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I will just sell myself,
Some naked house cleaning/gardening ?
or anything else
Can i pay you in kind?
Only if you pay by the hour
How many hours can you spare?
A jobs not finished until it's done right,
Or I will just have to put some overtime in
"
You sound like my kinda man  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What can I get for approx 1.5 feet of top quality hair that is no longer connected to my head?
She's a liar - it was from her minge. "
The half was my left armpit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What can I get for approx 1.5 feet of top quality hair that is no longer connected to my head? "
put it on the "Baldy Thread" and witness the feeding frenzy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What can I get for approx 1.5 feet of top quality hair that is no longer connected to my head?
I'll buy it!!!!!!!!!!
Name your price.
I'll beat it  "
But we're talking no more than a fiver, right? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What can I get for approx 1.5 feet of top quality hair that is no longer connected to my head?
put it on the "Baldy Thread" and witness the feeding frenzy. "
I was thinking that. There seem to have been loads lately |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What can I get for approx 1.5 feet of top quality hair that is no longer connected to my head?
put it on the "Baldy Thread" and witness the feeding frenzy.
I was thinking that. There seem to have been loads lately "
Waves.
Over hair. I mean over here........ |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
"What can I get for approx 1.5 feet of top quality hair that is no longer connected to my head?
put it on the "Baldy Thread" and witness the feeding frenzy.
I was thinking that. There seem to have been loads lately "
Nah, I'll have it. I reckon the colour's close enough I could use it to go full Rapunzel or Lady Godiva. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What can I get for approx 1.5 feet of top quality hair that is no longer connected to my head?
put it on the "Baldy Thread" and witness the feeding frenzy.
I was thinking that. There seem to have been loads lately
Nah, I'll have it. I reckon the colour's close enough I could use it to go full Rapunzel or Lady Godiva. "
I'd chip in and go half's if your going to do a Lady Godiva |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"What can I get for approx 1.5 feet of top quality hair that is no longer connected to my head? "
Ooh! Have you had the chop?
I've got 23p and a sports bra I can't manage to do up to offer for 10 minutes with TT.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What can I get for approx 1.5 feet of top quality hair that is no longer connected to my head?
Ooh! Have you had the chop?
I've got 23p and a sports bra I can't manage to do up to offer for 10 minutes with TT.
"
10 mins? We are both gobshites, so neither of us would have shut up by then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I will just sell myself,
Some naked house cleaning/gardening ?
or anything else
I need a cleaner. Do you do a student discount?
Student! You lot have a reputation it could be a messy one, I would need payment upfront "
I'll have you know I'm bloody middle glass. :D I even take yoga classes and shop in M&S for my food. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What can I get for approx 1.5 feet of top quality hair that is no longer connected to my head?
Ooh! Have you had the chop?
I've got 23p and a sports bra I can't manage to do up to offer for 10 minutes with TT.
"
Yep, I've lost about half a stone in hair. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I will just sell myself,
Some naked house cleaning/gardening ?
or anything else
I need a cleaner. Do you do a student discount?
Student! You lot have a reputation it could be a messy one, I would need payment upfront
I'll have you know I'm bloody middle glass. :D I even take yoga classes and shop in M&S for my food. "
I've also d*unk quite alot of homemade limoncello tonight and can't type.  |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"What can I get for approx 1.5 feet of top quality hair that is no longer connected to my head?
Ooh! Have you had the chop?
I've got 23p and a sports bra I can't manage to do up to offer for 10 minutes with TT.
10 mins? We are both gobshites, so neither of us would have shut up by then "
I'll use the sports bra as a gag.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I will just sell myself,
Some naked house cleaning/gardening ?
or anything else
I need a cleaner. Do you do a student discount?
Student! You lot have a reputation it could be a messy one, I would need payment upfront
I'll have you know I'm bloody middle glass. :D I even take yoga classes and shop in M&S for my food.
I've also d*unk quite alot of homemade limoncello tonight and can't type. "
Home made limoncello is proof of middle class ness (also sounds lush) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I will just sell myself,
Some naked house cleaning/gardening ?
or anything else
I need a cleaner. Do you do a student discount?
Student! You lot have a reputation it could be a messy one, I would need payment upfront
I'll have you know I'm bloody middle glass. :D I even take yoga classes and shop in M&S for my food.
I've also d*unk quite alot of homemade limoncello tonight and can't type.
Home made limoncello is proof of middle class ness (also sounds lush)"
I've a bottle of limoncello in the freezer... Its a bit like lemon fairy liquid. I'm pretty gutted about it  |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"
I've also d*unk quite alot of homemade limoncello tonight and can't type.
Home made limoncello is proof of middle class ness (also sounds lush)"
I can't stand limoncello - I must be sticking true to my peasant roots.
|
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