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Awkward sexual moments
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Apparently they follow me about...
I was with my fwb last night and he was using his fingers somewhere... I had forgotten that I had my mooncup in - google it  - due to a bit of spotting earlier on the day, and I only remember when he asked me what on earth was in my foofoo.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Apparently they follow me about...
I was with my fwb last night and he was using his fingers somewhere... I had forgotten that I had my mooncup in - google it - due to a bit of spotting earlier on the day, and I only remember when he asked me what on earth was in my foofoo. "
Oh dear!! Sorry i did giggle at this thouggh. Hope you were both able to laugh it off? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Apparently they follow me about...
I was with my fwb last night and he was using his fingers somewhere... I had forgotten that I had my mooncup in - google it - due to a bit of spotting earlier on the day, and I only remember when he asked me what on earth was in my foofoo.
Oh dear!! Sorry i did giggle at this thouggh. Hope you were both able to laugh it off?"
Erm, yes 
At least it happened with him - one of my closest friends - rather than a random person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Apparently they follow me about...
I was with my fwb last night and he was using his fingers somewhere... I had forgotten that I had my mooncup in - google it - due to a bit of spotting earlier on the day, and I only remember when he asked me what on earth was in my foofoo. "
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.....bless you  |
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I met this young guy and, as we went to go to his flat, he said, "I live with my mum -hope that's ok?"
"That's fine by me... You have to live with her," says I.
So we're doing the dirty - in fact we're making so much noise we pull the mattress on to the floor.
I've got him pinned to the floor, on his back, when the front door bell goes. Mum goes and gets it. It's some guy to read the gas or electric meter or something.
His mum then calls through the door asking for some access code and he's trying to reply as I fuck him gently, laughing in his face while he hisses STFU! at me.
Looooool
We finish. I leave (run for the train, actually). I get a txt a little while later thanking me for the ride and saying that his mum had complained about 'all the banging'.
I told him to say it was the workman round to fix his pipes.
:D |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Apparently they follow me about...
I was with my fwb last night and he was using his fingers somewhere... I had forgotten that I had my mooncup in - google it - due to a bit of spotting earlier on the day, and I only remember when he asked me what on earth was in my foofoo.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.....bless you "
I was a bit distracted  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I met this young guy and, as we went to go to his flat, he said, "I live with my mum -hope that's ok?"
"That's fine by me... You have to live with her," says I.
So we're doing the dirty - in fact we're making so much noise we pull the mattress on to the floor.
I've got him pinned to the floor, on his back, when the front door bell goes. Mum goes and gets it. It's some guy to read the gas or electric meter or something.
His mum then calls through the door asking for some access code and he's trying to reply as I fuck him gently, laughing in his face while he hisses STFU! at me.
Looooool
We finish. I leave (run for the train, actually). I get a txt a little while later thanking me for the ride and saying that his mum had complained about 'all the banging'.
I told him to say it was the workman round to fix his pipes.
:D"
Pmsl that made me chuckle!! |
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Or possibly that time in Santa Somewhere in California when some guy made a move on me while I was naked in the hot tub of a guesthouse.
I panicked, said I needed the loo, jumped out, ran in to the house, in to the dining room where mom, pop and their three kiddies were eating dinner.
The stop, open mouthed, as I bollock naked ask where the toilet is, then crawl off to die quietly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Please note, this wouldn`t happen now, honest. When I was about 17, I was on top of my girlfriend and started to premature, so I moved down to lick her and wanked it out on her floor. Can`t believe I did that or told you about it, she never said a thing, so I`m guessing she blamed her dog, poor dog, |
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Although possibly the most cringing moment in sex I've ever had was when I was screwing a girl in my bedroom (I was about 17/18 at the time) when my mum AND ONE OF HER FRIENDS came in to the room to inspect the rug we were shagging on top of.
Everyone was mortified, except for my mother who twittered about as if nothing was happening.
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By *ngeluk69Woman
over a year ago
Near enough |
Was once at a guys flat and he had wooden floors, he's got me on the bed and goes to the bathroom and comes back with baby oil, unfortunately he dropped the oil and slipped and smacked into the wall and radiator. He smashed up his ankle and I had to call the ambulance, and he had to go in a sheet as he just couldn't stand up to put on any clothes. Ankle was broken.
At the time it was mortifying, but now I look back on it with much laughter, we stayed good friends and still have a little giggle every now and then hahahaha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Although possibly the most cringing moment in sex I've ever had was when I was screwing a girl in my bedroom (I was about 17/18 at the time) when my mum AND ONE OF HER FRIENDS came in to the room to inspect the rug we were shagging on top of.
Everyone was mortified, except for my mother who twittered about as if nothing was happening.
"
Wish my mum was as understand, hats off to you mum mate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Many years ago, still living with parents, snapped my Banjo string, bled like a bugger but took a while to realise, got up and turned light on, shock horror at the blood on the duvet, girl immediately felt very sick and needed a shower (we both did to be fair, covered in blood). Knocked on parents door and said 'mum, we have a situation' lol. Duvet never survived, relationship did and we've now been together 15 years
Amazing the things you can get over and that bring you together, although 2 weeks without sex was too much, so broke it again a couple of times before managing to abstain long enough for it to heal. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My worst one was with an ex girlfriend. She still lived with her parents and we were in her room one day when we got a little frisky, we got down to it and about ten minutes in her Dad banged on the door asking us to keep the noise down. Quite mild really but kind of put me off somewhat and made sitting round the table at dinner a bit uncomfortable afterwards. |
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I took my ex girlfriend to a swinging club for her first ever time.
She was very nervous but after l glass or two of wine got really horny.
We stripped off and got on the big bed in the centre of the room and I was just about to go down on her when I pointed out that there appeared to be a 'mouses tail' hanging out.
Never seen anyone blush so much! Bless her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You see, you don't get chat about mooncups in your foofoo on bookface...this is much more fun
No you certainly do not "
Depends what groups you're a member of! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ive had quite a few. My ex kneed me extremely hard in the vag. Killed it.
Another knocked his head on the bed frame and had to stop as he felt dizzy and sick.
Another snapped his "banjo string". Blood was everywhere, looked like a murder scene.
One guy passed out mid blow job, dunno how I feel about that. He said it was drink related but I'm not sure I wasn't just boring him.
Another's parents and younger sibling walked in as he was taking me from behind. A different time, his mum walked in as I was on top.
I'm sure there's more I've forgotten. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Apparently they follow me about...
I was with my fwb last night and he was using his fingers somewhere... I had forgotten that I had my mooncup in - google it - due to a bit of spotting earlier on the day, and I only remember when he asked me what on earth was in my foofoo. "
Is the embarrassing part where he referred to it as a "foofoo" ?!  |
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"
One guy passed out mid blow job, dunno how I feel about that. He said it was drink related but I'm not sure I wasn't just boring him. "
I've done that but in my defence I'd just finished a 12 hour shift with an hours pedal bike ride there and back, the bed was really comfortable and I was knackered... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Haven't had any sex for 10 months now but was dating a guy last year and was sucking him off whilst he was standing, I was squatting but sort of balancing on my tippy toes, lost my balance and grabbed on to his cock so I swung round him like a May pole! Fair play he didn't flinch, just laughed! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Apparently they follow me about...
I was with my fwb last night and he was using his fingers somewhere... I had forgotten that I had my mooncup in - google it - due to a bit of spotting earlier on the day, and I only remember when he asked me what on earth was in my foofoo. "
Actually laughed out loud at that one! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Apparently they follow me about...
I was with my fwb last night and he was using his fingers somewhere... I had forgotten that I had my mooncup in - google it - due to a bit of spotting earlier on the day, and I only remember when he asked me what on earth was in my foofoo. "
That ^ is the written equivalent of a masons handshake.
I can't work it out unless I know how far up his fingers were.....
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