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A bit of a dillema!
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I've just met a woman who lives just a few doors away. When I say 'just met' I mean having talked to, flirted with, she flirting back. We've noticed each other around and about for a couple of years. I didn't realise that she was such a close neighbour. Anyway, we talked and she gave me her number, we talked on the phone last night. It was good. Meeting in the near future. Should I pursue?
My advice from wise people is 'Never Crap on your Own Doorstep.'
She doesn't know anything about my 'kinkiness'. I really fancy her but I don't know what to do - will she be shocked as my sexual character is revealed. I don't think I could face the humiliation of you know, being rejected for being 'weird', and then still bumping into her locally.
What should I do?
Any advice welcome.
Jack |
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If you fear rejection for being 'weird' then YOU think you are weird.
Why mix with those that will reject you? Find someone like you.
Alternatively..... If you ever find yourself falling from the top of a skyscraper ................... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends how much you like her - perhaps don't drop your kinks on her straight away, see how you get on. It might not work out and you part on amicable terms if you're not each other's type once you know each other better.
If it looks longer term stuff might be on the cards then you have to be honest with her, gently break you have kinkier preferences and see her reaction (i.e. Don't go 'full in' with the limits of your kinks, gently introduce some softer concepts first). If she's appalled by it and wants to split up over it then you have to make a choice - what's more important to you, her or your kinks? Or compromise to what is acceptable.
If the relationship ends then yes, it will be awkward seeing her around but you'll get over it, after all you're both adults.
On the other hand, you may find she likes the idea and embraces your kinks too!
If you like her and want to be with her then I wouldn't (personally) rank kinky sex over your happiness and well being.
Good luck whatever you choose 
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"I've just met a woman who lives just a few doors away. When I say 'just met' I mean having talked to, flirted with, she flirting back. We've noticed each other around and about for a couple of years. I didn't realise that she was such a close neighbour. Anyway, we talked and she gave me her number, we talked on the phone last night. It was good. Meeting in the near future. Should I pursue?
My advice from wise people is 'Never Crap on your Own Doorstep.'
She doesn't know anything about my 'kinkiness'. I really fancy her but I don't know what to do - will she be shocked as my sexual character is revealed. I don't think I could face the humiliation of you know, being rejected for being 'weird', and then still bumping into her locally.
What should I do?
Any advice welcome.
Jack"
faint heart never won fair lady. What's the harm in getting to know her? No need to give her chapter and verse of your sexual preferences that would be weird but I think its much better to regret things you have done than things you haven't in cases like this.
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I'm really thinking I should investigate, but if I took my shirt off and she saw my nipple piercings... Ok, I know I should tell her things before it got to that. In a close and warm conversation do I say I have body piercings and wear women's pants? |
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"I'm really thinking I should investigate, but if I took my shirt off and she saw my nipple piercings... Ok, I know I should tell her things before it got to that. In a close and warm conversation do I say I have body piercings and wear women's pants?"
Firstly if you click on reply +quote we can see who you're replying to.
Secondly I think you are over thinking this. Play it by ear, chat to her, get to know her before you start talking about your sexual preferences in detail. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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people are not as easily scared or freaked out by unusual sexual kinks...she may like similar things she mightr be cool about it she might not my advice is
"better to regret the things you did than the things you didnt have the balls to do"
good luck random morning advice seeker |
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"I've just met a woman who lives just a few doors away. When I say 'just met' I mean having talked to, flirted with, she flirting back. We've noticed each other around and about for a couple of years. I didn't realise that she was such a close neighbour. Anyway, we talked and she gave me her number, we talked on the phone last night. It was good. Meeting in the near future. Should I pursue?
My advice from wise people is 'Never Crap on your Own Doorstep.'
She doesn't know anything about my 'kinkiness'. I really fancy her but I don't know what to do - will she be shocked as my sexual character is revealed. I don't think I could face the humiliation of you know, being rejected for being 'weird', and then still bumping into her locally.
What should I do?
Any advice welcome.
Jack"
I'm not sure I understand your dilemma. Most will have an ex somewhere close by they occasionally bump into: so what?
Why do you feel the need to declare your sexual history, unless it's something you wish to continue? If it is, take time to know this person, it won't be wasted time.
Don't make your first date a swingers club though. 
Enjoy the romance: sex with strangers is not the be all.
Good luck. |
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"I'm really thinking I should investigate, but if I took my shirt off and she saw my nipple piercings... Ok, I know I should tell her things before it got to that. In a close and warm conversation do I say I have body piercings and wear women's pants?
Firstly if you click on reply +quote we can see who you're replying to.
Secondly I think you are over thinking this. Play it by ear, chat to her, get to know her before you start talking about your sexual preferences in detail. "
Exactly!!!
Sadly, it appears sex with strangers has deprived some of normal social skills when mixing with people outwith the scene. |
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It depends what you're wanting, how adaptable you are and of course her too.
We don't all have the same relationships with each partner, though some may try to. Some people are very rigid, never willing to compromise, others the opposite.
Snagging a neighbour isn't the best imo, but she may be a friend or want something long term.
You know yourself. Your success rate with flexibility and she may be more kinky than you.
If kink in a relationship is priority then probably look elsewhere but get to know her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Okay, nice lady, bit chatty, bit flirty... How do you tell her about your kinks and piercings?
Whooah there fella
How a out asking her out for a coffee or a drink after work. Talk and get to know each other a bit and see how it goes! |
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I can understand why you want the lady to know. I'm a big advocate of honesty in any relationship but you have to gauge when is an appropriate time to bring something up. Certain things like ten children living at home with you are best mentioned early on for instance  |
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Many people have piercings, if you consider that to be "kinky", then perhaps you aren't. As for the pantie wearing, then as others have said, get to know her properly before you divulge anything you may not be comfortable with and might later regret  |
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"Okay, nice lady, bit chatty, bit flirty... How do you tell her about your kinks and piercings?
Whooah there fella
How a out asking her out for a coffee or a drink after work. Talk and get to know each other a bit and see how it goes! "
We are going to meet for a drink and get-to-know.
And I am patient, not about to throw any of this at her initially... |
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"I'm really thinking I should investigate, but if I took my shirt off and she saw my nipple piercings... Ok, I know I should tell her things before it got to that. In a close and warm conversation do I say I have body piercings and wear women's pants?
Firstly if you click on reply +quote we can see who you're replying to.
Secondly I think you are over thinking this. Play it by ear, chat to her, get to know her before you start talking about your sexual preferences in detail. "
Thanks for your input, and thanks for the reply advice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've just met a woman who lives just a few doors away. When I say 'just met' I mean having talked to, flirted with, she flirting back. We've noticed each other around and about for a couple of years. I didn't realise that she was such a close neighbour. Anyway, we talked and she gave me her number, we talked on the phone last night. It was good. Meeting in the near future. Should I pursue?
My advice from wise people is 'Never Crap on your Own Doorstep.'
She doesn't know anything about my 'kinkiness'. I really fancy her but I don't know what to do - will she be shocked as my sexual character is revealed. I don't think I could face the humiliation of you know, being rejected for being 'weird', and then still bumping into her locally.
What should I do?
Any advice welcome.
Jack"
Ask her nicely and she might show you her cock!  |
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