i fell up the step in the cinema the other day and landed head first in a guys lap
i got very d*unk at a works party and told our IT guy he was SEX!!!!
sure there are others but i have banished them from my mind  |
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Put a pizza in the oven earliertody and turned on the main switch on the wall but forgot to turn the dial on the cooker, 25 mins passed and I asked my mates what was going on with my pizza and he broke it to me, I felt like a right idiot, thats just one from today I have loads of moments where i've really made a idiot out of myself. |
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in hospital after had me leg off i forgot it wasn,t there and started to walk to the loo its when you hit the floor you remember its gone wierd but the nurses thought it was funny once they checked i was ok but they reckon about 70 percent of amputees do it while still in hospital. |
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I was once standing in a crowded Metro station waiting for a train and an old couple came up to me and said ' Eeeeeeeeh hello Stephen we haven't seen you for a while'
I'm not Stephen by the way but I felt dead sorry for the silly old duffers I thought it would be easier if I just said hi and asked how they were.
That was my big mistake.
They then went on to ask me how my Mum was and my Dad which I replied saying they were both well. They then asked how my Auntie Doreen was (whom I don't have) at this point I was getting into my stride and started to embellish about Auntie Doreen, she had started a new job and was enjoying it etc. It was then in mid Auntie Doreen anecdote that the old lady of the couple elbowed her husband and said 'Eeeeh Tony it isn't Stephen'
They didn't say another word to me they just tutted, scowled and walked to the other end of the platform and I stood there with 2 or 3 people standing around me shaking their heads at me like I had mugged the old couples very souls! I Prayed for the fucking Metro to come  |
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"I was once standing in a crowded Metro station waiting for a train and an old couple came up to me and said ' Eeeeeeeeh hello Stephen we haven't seen you for a while'
I'm not Stephen by the way but I felt dead sorry for the silly old duffers I thought it would be easier if I just said hi and asked how they were.
That was my big mistake.
They then went on to ask me how my Mum was and my Dad which I replied saying they were both well. They then asked how my Auntie Doreen was (whom I don't have) at this point I was getting into my stride and started to embellish about Auntie Doreen, she had started a new job and was enjoying it etc. It was then in mid Auntie Doreen anecdote that the old lady of the couple elbowed her husband and said 'Eeeeh Tony it isn't Stephen'
They didn't say another word to me they just tutted, scowled and walked to the other end of the platform and I stood there with 2 or 3 people standing around me shaking their heads at me like I had mugged the old couples very souls! I Prayed for the fucking Metro to come "
ahhhhh you were just lonely and wanted company really  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Doing some some tricks on a motorbike for some friends, went to do a stoppie ( rolling the bike along on the front wheel with the back wheel up in the air) and I missed timed it and went sraight over the handlebars  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What has been your most embarrassing experience to date, not neccessarily sexual ......
i made a total show of myself today :-S was in town today and coming back to the carpark loaded with shopping cold and tired, got to my car put my shopping down to open it up my fob didnt work :-S theres a key thing on it in case it fails so i got that out ... but then couldnt remove the cover over the lock 8-| so i had to go look for the attendant who was very kind and came to help it wasnt till i was walking back to the car that i realised i was trying to get into the WRONG car #-o i couldnt believe it i was so embarrassed :" but in my defense .... it was the same make and color as mine  and it was getting dark ) im not safe to be out on my own!!!#-o"
My mum did exactly the same with her new car. The woman walked up and watched her trying to break into her car. My mum turned to her and said i cant get into my car. The woman chuckled and said to try the one parked a couple of bays away as she was trying to get into her car. They did laugh when the key fitted the other car. As for my mum,she has not made the mistake since. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was once standing in a crowded Metro station waiting for a train and an old couple came up to me and said ' Eeeeeeeeh hello Stephen we haven't seen you for a while'
I'm not Stephen by the way but I felt dead sorry for the silly old duffers I thought it would be easier if I just said hi and asked how they were.
That was my big mistake.
They then went on to ask me how my Mum was and my Dad which I replied saying they were both well. They then asked how my Auntie Doreen was (whom I don't have) at this point I was getting into my stride and started to embellish about Auntie Doreen, she had started a new job and was enjoying it etc. It was then in mid Auntie Doreen anecdote that the old lady of the couple elbowed her husband and said 'Eeeeh Tony it isn't Stephen'
They didn't say another word to me they just tutted, scowled and walked to the other end of the platform and I stood there with 2 or 3 people standing around me shaking their heads at me like I had mugged the old couples very souls! I Prayed for the fucking Metro to come "
Similar to myself years ago.
Was waiting for a taxi with son and mate after doing the weekly shop when this lady came up, hugged me and was going on about how fantastic it was seeing me again...Im saying hello and wow !!! etc..
Her hubby pulled up in the car to pick her up and she says "look who it is" and he waves frantically and shouts hello...beeming smile.
They drive away and my mate says...
"Who was that then" ?
I says..."i havent the bloody foggiest"
Didnt know them from adam.,....
spooky or wot !!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i used to wear curly hair extensions back in the day,was in italy swimming in the sea,my curly locks all wafting in the water...thought i looked sexy.my head felt heavy as i swam,i realised i had to get out of the water as the weight of my hair was pulling me down.as i walked onto the sand, i heard gasps of 'mamma mia'and a few sniggers.my mate was on the floor laughing...why?...because my bleedin false hair had stretched down to the back of me bleedin knees due to the weight of all the sealife,shells,sea,a few bits of tissue and what i think was a crabs claw.the hair was like a net ,gathering up all the sea crap floating about .took hours for my mate to pick out all the bits. |
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