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Make us all laugh

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Post your one liner jokes, old or new, So we can call this laughing Monday

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

Two cannibals are eating a clown.

One says t'other: "'Ere, does this taste funny to you?"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Someone actually complimented me on my driving yesterday.

They even left a note on my windscreen saying "Parking Fine". It's always nice to get a positive remark.

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

^ This is a true story.

When I was a teenager I used to work in a car park and got to know a few of the traffic wardens.

One, called Martin, was busy ticketing when an older gentleman came back and gave him what for, saying 'We didn;t fight the War for Nazis like you to be running the country!"

Martin stopped him short and said, "Sir, I find that remark highly offensive. My grandfather died at Auschwitz."

As the old man drive off, humbled, Martin shouted after him:

"YEAH, HE FELL OFF A WATCHTOWER, PRICK!"

LOL

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

For sale: Parachute. Used once. Small stain.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Skeleton walks into a pub.

"I'll have a pint of lager and a mop, please".

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Whats the difference between your job and a dead prostitute?

Your job still sucks

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

I've got a joke which is brilliant but highly offensive...

Shall I post?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've got a joke which is brilliant but highly offensive...

Shall I post?"

yup u should haha

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"I've got a joke which is brilliant but highly offensive...

Shall I post?

yup u should haha"

I'll PM you and then you can tell me what you think...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

He who laughs last,just didn't get the joke

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why are women like KFC? After you've finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"I've got a joke which is brilliant but highly offensive...

Shall I post?

yup u should haha

I'll PM you and then you can tell me what you think..."

Verdict: It's very funny but someone will get upset.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Two cannibals are eating a clown.

One says t'other: "'Ere, does this taste funny to you?""

T'other replied: " No."

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By *iSTARessWoman over a year ago

London

What's red and stands in the corner?

A naughty fire engine

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

I sleep like a baby...

I wake up screaming at 2 am each night

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By *etsdance1987Man over a year ago

Runcorn

Did you know, your not born gay.

Your sucked into it.

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

Never trust an undertaker. He'll always let you down

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Never trust an undertaker. He'll always let you down"

I bet you were dying to tell us that joke

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Never trust an undertaker. He'll always let you down

I bet you were dying to tell us that joke "

Groan!!

Last night I dreamt I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up, my pillow had gone.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up as an alter boy!

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By *vgloryholebs16TV/TS over a year ago

Bristol.

blind man bled to death trying to read a cheese grater

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What do you call the security guards outside Samsung?

The guardians of the galaxy!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Weird isn't it. You stand up in a Library and shout 'Arrgggghhh' and everyone tells you to be quiet, but do the same thing on an Areoplane and everyone joins in

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

what's the difference between light and hard?

you can sleep with the light on

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By *irceWoman over a year ago

Gloucester

Man goes to the GP I need pain meds and stiches! Help... .

Dr, looks at the guys ripped and bruised butt