FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Too old fashioned? perhaps time to leave
Too old fashioned? perhaps time to leave
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Been on Fab 6 months.
had some nice messages, friends invites and winks.
But can't seem to write reply/message myself. Spend hours writing, then bottle it and delete. Seems, online, I become a tongue tied teenager. I get put off by "No one liners, No rambling stories, no this, that and the other!!"
Most people on here seem very nice, and the forums are great. They have me laughing out loud.Which is good for my soul, if not my sex life.
So thanks to you all, but think I should go back to old fashioned chatting up in pubs etc. I feel much more at home face to face.
perhaps I should stay, just for the Lounge...would that be odd...? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been on Fab 6 months.
had some nice messages, friends invites and winks.
But can't seem to write reply/message myself. Spend hours writing, then bottle it and delete. Seems, online, I become a tongue tied teenager. I get put off by "No one liners, No rambling stories, no this, that and the other!!"
Most people on here seem very nice, and the forums are great. They have me laughing out loud.Which is good for my soul, if not my sex life.
So thanks to you all, but think I should go back to old fashioned chatting up in pubs etc. I feel much more at home face to face.
perhaps I should stay, just for the Lounge...would that be odd...? "
See what you did when you wrote this post?
Just do that.
Who cares if you get knocked back there's 20,000 people on a day that's like 50 years worth of messages |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nobody can realistically tell you what to do as we don't really know you or know how you're feeling in detail. Only you know how you're feeling about Fab'
If you're feeling disillusioned with the site, maybe hide your profile, log off and forget about it for a while, comeback when you have the mojo.
Alternatively and more drastically, ditch the account all together.
Or you can stick around and waffle in the forums and forget about trying to get meets, we'll keep you entertained.
Those are your only options really, but only you can choose. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is my third profile in 4 years
First I had for 3 years second lasted few weeks before I got annoyed
if you want a break hide the account or try going on different forums have a giggle and get to know people or try talking in chat rooms
Either way just enjoy X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's very hard on here especially for you single guys... maybe concentrate on the forums and make yourself known through them ..its easier to get your personality across through posting than by sending messages to women/couples ...good luck !!!  xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find this interesting as you find face to face easier than online, whereas a lot of people find online easier to introduce themselves to people and meet people than face to face down the pub situation, I much prefer online to find and introduce myself to someone then eventulally if things are looking like we get in, then meet up for a drink etc send those messages, if you don't get a reply it's no big deal. Maybe we expect too much and want it now! Some things take time.x |
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By *oddyWoman
over a year ago
between havant and chichester |
As others have said use the forums get to know our mad ways as we will get to know you maybe when your ready attend a social im sure someone would hold your Hand if your nervous xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As others have said use the forums get to know our mad ways as we will get to know you maybe when your ready attend a social im sure someone would hold your Hand if your nervous xx"
 Good advice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My own personal advice would be to find a local ish social. Go with the promise to yourself of no expectations and if you don't like it you can leave when you want. Relying just on FB for an introduction to the lifestyle is unrealistic. You need to get out there. If you are sociable you will be fine. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anybody elses _iews most welcome   "
I'm more relaxed, happier and more myself now I'm not actively chasing, searching and hoping. Friendships and relationships develop more naturally with the right people over time when they aren't forced.
What you suggest sounds like a good plan.
Good luck with what you decide. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anybody elses _iews most welcome "
Stop,spending so much time thinking and spend some time doing .
You say you have have had experience , including dogging .
Check out local meets and make yourself available for suitable ones . You look and sound fine so meet some local people and get verified . This will get the ball rolling .
Or do what so many others on the forums do , put not meeting on your profile and just use the forums . Your choice . There are plenty that would meet a guy like you , and the necessity to compose long messages is less so if you message those looking to meet now or later in the day .
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Wow... thanks to you all!!
Chellsterfem. I will deffo take your advice, will look for social meets in my area later... but first... to the pub, to chat where I feel comfy.
Your'e all a great bunch x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been on Fab 6 months.
had some nice messages, friends invites and winks.
But can't seem to write reply/message myself. Spend hours writing, then bottle it and delete. Seems, online, I become a tongue tied teenager. I get put off by "No one liners, No rambling stories, no this, that and the other!!"
Most people on here seem very nice, and the forums are great. They have me laughing out loud.Which is good for my soul, if not my sex life.
So thanks to you all, but think I should go back to old fashioned chatting up in pubs etc. I feel much more at home face to face.
perhaps I should stay, just for the Lounge...would that be odd...? "
Your 'go back to old fashioned chatting up in pubs' line infers that you stopped that for Fab. Why?
I've always enjoyed approaching women in public, Fab could never replace that for me. I've always seen Fab as an add on to dip in and out of now and then.
Maybe that approach would suit you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
I think just hang around and relax about it all without stressing about the effort you think is required
The forums can be a good way to waste time, gauge personalities and they are full of info about various events |
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Stop stressing over meets if you enjoy the forum that alone is reason to stay. If anything else comes your way great if not you've lost nothing and you've had fun and will more than likely made some good friends ok maybe 1 or to not such good friends but hey thats life and all good experience.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not odd at all to be just forum, if it is ill join you in the oddness,
Suppose dont worry about what others might think, consider what you want and are looking for and base your message on that
Totally agree though an explanation can become an essay, shorten it and it can seem rushed,
Spend a bit of time putting a message together that you are happy with and key points you want to get across and refer to them when messaging,
You wont suite all, just make it true to you and send,
Opening message is that though opening, put across what you like but don't feel the need to display everything
Have fun with it pal, hope it works out, socials are a good idea, but be you and open people will respond well to open honesty
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I cannot believe the kind responses I've had, was nervous about starting this, thought I might get negative replys.
I've read some posts that slag off men.. or women.. or couples for various reasons!
well, I can safely say that, not only do you all cheer me up, through the forums, but you are all most supportive.
I will take all advice, as it was given,thoughfully, many thanks   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wow... thanks to you all!!
Chellsterfem. I will deffo take your advice, will look for social meets in my area later... but first... to the pub, to chat where I feel comfy.
Your'e all a great bunch x"
Hun you will be fine. Find a social and just chat like you would in the pub. That's the secret to being successful on here, sadly many men don't want to go down that route. Enjoy!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I cannot believe the kind responses I've had, was nervous about starting this, thought I might get negative replys.
I've read some posts that slag off men.. or women.. or couples for various reasons!
well, I can safely say that, not only do you all cheer me up, through the forums, but you are all most supportive.
I will take all advice, as it was given,thoughfully, many thanks "
Great thread OP. Good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Going to socials is a good idea,I would suggest local ones unless you're the travelling kind who likes the adventure of a trek up North. My little snippet of advice regarding a message. Write what you want to write,be yourself,you seem a lovely man. But,if you are better face to face there's some lively places in Hornchurch and Brentwood you can check out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This might sound dippy trippy but I've found it to be true:
sometimes when you stop trying & searching so hard for something, that very thing comes to you.
For example, I move every few months - earlier this year I couldn't find a place to "be" after searching very hard. I stopped and ten days later I was contacted by someone to take care of their home, cat, and be there for two lodgers for three months while she travels. Here I am.
Been traveling fifteen years now - countless examples as the above have happened.
So, deep breath, do forums, relax - someone will contact you.
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I'd not exclusively consume from a monopolistic provider and online life supplements my real world one.
Get out there, flirt, go to clubs etc. And practice to improve your messaging on here.
Avoid those with restrictions that rule you out and be yourself with those who match you.
Forums are also good for the celibate. |
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