FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Looks .. Body size.
Looks .. Body size.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi all,
I always find when kve had a drink im a little more honest. my main worry with swinging this this site is my body size. I always feel I have to re iterate my body size when messaging because of wing afraid they'll knot like me.
You'll rarely see me naked, im always im a babydoll of some sort because I'm so self conscious, 'my question is, can you be a swinger and atill be self conscious ?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would yes u can be everyone probably has something they don't like about themselves, I don't like showing of my chest cause of a birthmark but don't let it stop me looking for meets lol
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We all suffer at times with confidence and self esteem issues at times, I've been much bigger than I am now long with being much smaller but over the years I've built myself up from scratch and not afraid to be naked around anyone. I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea but people are not my cup of tea either.
I think if you have such a low self esteem and confidence issues swinging is not really the right place (not saying you do) as this scene can be a brutal world when it comes to looks and body size...love what your momma gave you if you don't then it's time to change but for now I'm truly in love with myself and my wobbly bits  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm by no means a small girl. My photos are obviously my very best ones and I also feel I have to point out to people that I'm nearly thirteen stone, stretch marked and scarred.
What's surprised me about swinging is how little these things seem to bother other people. I guarantee you that your supposed flaws bother you 100 times more than they would anyone else, that's if they even notice them at all.
As a lifelong self-loather, it's done a great deal for my self esteem.
But as you say, a down day, a few drinks, or anything else can affect they way we see ourselves and make us look inward and self analyse.
Incidentally, I think you're beautiful.
Cleo.
xxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I definately am but have got some public body shot pics. I wish I looked like really though. Just to say, there is nothing wrong with you if you dont mind me saying so. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We all suffer at times with confidence and self esteem issues at times, I've been much bigger than I am now long with being much smaller but over the years I've built myself up from scratch and not afraid to be naked around anyone. I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea but people are not my cup of tea either.
I think if you have such a low self esteem and confidence issues swinging is not really the right place (not saying you do) as this scene can be a brutal world when it comes to looks and body size...love what your momma gave you if you don't then it's time to change but for now I'm truly in love with myself and my wobbly bits "
This 
But, on the other hand it can be a place where you can let it all hang out because it's where the bbw lovers come and embrace our loveliness! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We are all our own harshest critics. I try to remember that. I suppose in answer to your question, it depends on whether your insecurities are holding you back in any way.
(Off topic slightly, but you have the most perfect heart shaped lips ) |
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"We all suffer at times with confidence and self esteem issues at times, I've been much bigger than I am now long with being much smaller but over the years I've built myself up from scratch and not afraid to be naked around anyone. I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea but people are not my cup of tea either.
I think if you have such a low self esteem and confidence issues swinging is not really the right place (not saying you do) as this scene can be a brutal world when it comes to looks and body size...love what your momma gave you if you don't then it's time to change but for now I'm truly in love with myself and my wobbly bits
This
But, on the other hand it can be a place where you can let it all hang out because it's where the bbw lovers come and embrace our loveliness!"
Possibly but I'm a fat fucker not a BBW i hate that term but that's just me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We all suffer at times with confidence and self esteem issues at times, I've been much bigger than I am now long with being much smaller but over the years I've built myself up from scratch and not afraid to be naked around anyone. I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea but people are not my cup of tea either.
I think if you have such a low self esteem and confidence issues swinging is not really the right place (not saying you do) as this scene can be a brutal world when it comes to looks and body size...love what your momma gave you if you don't then it's time to change but for now I'm truly in love with myself and my wobbly bits
This
But, on the other hand it can be a place where you can let it all hang out because it's where the bbw lovers come and embrace our loveliness!
Possibly but I'm a fat fucker not a BBW i hate that term but that's just me "
Or a FF? Could be the new BBW!  |
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"We all suffer at times with confidence and self esteem issues at times, I've been much bigger than I am now long with being much smaller but over the years I've built myself up from scratch and not afraid to be naked around anyone. I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea but people are not my cup of tea either.
I think if you have such a low self esteem and confidence issues swinging is not really the right place (not saying you do) as this scene can be a brutal world when it comes to looks and body size...love what your momma gave you if you don't then it's time to change but for now I'm truly in love with myself and my wobbly bits
This
But, on the other hand it can be a place where you can let it all hang out because it's where the bbw lovers come and embrace our loveliness!
Possibly but I'm a fat fucker not a BBW i hate that term but that's just me
Or a FF? Could be the new BBW! "
True |
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"I'm by no means a small girl. My photos are obviously my very best ones and I also feel I have to point out to people that I'm nearly thirteen stone, stretch marked and scarred.
What's surprised me about swinging is how little these things seem to bother other people. I guarantee you that your supposed flaws bother you 100 times more than they would anyone else, that's if they even notice them at all.
As a lifelong self-loather, it's done a great deal for my self esteem.
But as you say, a down day, a few drinks, or anything else can affect they way we see ourselves and make us look inward and self analyse.
Incidentally, I think you're beautiful.
Cleo.
xxxx"
I agree, I get quite a few messages from men asking why I'm so negative about my body. I can't help what I see in a mirror though. But it hasn't stopped me meeting some very sexy men & having a great time. My confidence is slowly rising.
I don't think any woman is truly ever happy with her body. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't think there's a soul on this site that could honestly say they're not conscious about some part of their body.
Only then we can strive to improve ourselves."
Or drive yourself to distraction trying to achieve the impossible perfection? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does it matter tho as its casual sex tho?.
Yes!?
Because even if it's casual there has to be an attraction Not for me as I had sex with all kinds x."
Oooh you ho |
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I've met a couple of women bigger than yourself, and one of those in particular is still one of the sexiest, women i've had the pleasure of spending time with 
The former FWB was a similar shape and size to you and was also a bit self conscious, but always dressed up rather fine while feeling comfortable with it and it never stopped anything- in fact, sometimes sexy undies are even better than naked when you're allowed to go exploring
99% or women- and men have things they think are too big, too small, too saggy, too hairy and generally not conforming to the media image of the perfect body- if you can't accept the way you look then at least accept that many of us look past any specific imperfections when we see someone that makes us go 'Phwoar! Ding Dong! '
You look lovely- just relax and find the people that are happy with you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm feeling very self concious at the moment. I don't get completely naked at meets either. I will always have something covering my stomach as I have scars from surgery and a saggy jelly belly which I hate.
Funnily enough though I find other peoples flaws/imperfections charismatic and endearing. Go figure.
As already mentioned, we're our own worst critics aren't we. We also have too much pressure on us to be stereotypically "body beautiful" which can add to the insecurity. It would be boring as fuck if we all looked the same. Xx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does it matter tho as its casual sex tho?.
Yes!?
Because even if it's casual there has to be an attraction Not for me as I had sex with all kinds x.
Oooh you ho "
lol yes, good one that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've met a couple of women bigger than yourself, and one of those in particular is still one of the sexiest, women i've had the pleasure of spending time with
The former FWB was a similar shape and size to you and was also a bit self conscious, but always dressed up rather fine while feeling comfortable with it and it never stopped anything- in fact, sometimes sexy undies are even better than naked when you're allowed to go exploring
99% or women- and men have things they think are too big, too small, too saggy, too hairy and generally not conforming to the media image of the perfect body- if you can't accept the way you look then at least accept that many of us look past any specific imperfections when we see someone that makes us go 'Phwoar! Ding Dong! '
You look lovely- just relax and find the people that are happy with you "
Dong ding! |
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Don't read magazines and pay no mind to what mainstream media tells you is conventionaly sexy.
Advertising conditions us to believe a one dimensional _iew of what's hot and what's not, ignore it.
I have a horrible body but happy with who I am. Swinging has made me far more comfortable in my skin.
You are incredibly cute by the way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm definitely self conscious because I don't look as I did ten/five years ago.
I've put on a bit of timber to in recent years, now around 16-17 stone.
I could shift the weight, but as I'm getting older, I'm getting lazier. 
You pictures look great to me huni, but I understand it's a personal thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Being on here has massively improved my (was worse) body hang ups. And another was showering at Download....one big communal shower. At first i was like 'shit my wobbly bits (which is pretty much all of me bar my eyelids) but then looking around there were loads of wonderful wobbly bits and the only people worried and wearing bikinis/underwear in the shower were the slimmest!! Go figure.
Also my hottest (and current) fb from here (and goddamn hes so sexy i'm shocked....he's seriously model material with the body of an adonis and no I'm not sharing him) has the worst body hangups of anyone i know!!
So just...be happy! We all come in different shapes and sizes....its beautiful!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont fancy thin women, not that theyre not pretty. They just dont do it for me. People like what they like, there will be someone for you, i accept not everyone is going to like me but i dont care. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Everybody is self conscious to some degree. And not everyone on here is a confident swinging veteren. I'm on here but I'm not really a swinger, just looking for friends with added benefits. Us women worry too much about what men will think when in fact men find us sexy in all shapes, sizes and wobbly bits. You'll meet someone one day who will totally liberate your mind and make you feel more confident and accepting in how you look. I met that person and now I put body pics showing myself at my most vulnerable. I'm big, wobble, have saggy bits and stretchmarks and the men who don't care and like what they see message me. And I get lots of messages! Knowing that they've seen me in all my glory and still find me attractive, I wont be as shy when/if it gets to the bedroom.
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We are all conscious of our perceived flaws and swingers are human like everyone else.
We can do things to weaken habitual worrying and anxieties and especially to reinforce our self confidence.
And one of the best things is to get out there and act like nothing matters. You create new habits and help to rewire your brain, so that old triggers are linked to better, healthier emotions.
I don't know where I stand on a looks league table but walk and move around, like I own my space, as best I'm able to.
Op doesn't need to overemphasise her perceived body weakness. A simple statement of your physique, coupled with photos is probably enough for everyone. If you meet people with the wrong expectations, then possibly question them a little more.
We don't all need to be eager to be naked amongst others. Were all fine having different interests. My family did nude long before I left school and I'm generally fine with it but skip it too.
Find your own style, comfort zones and hang out with people who are good for you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi all,
I always find when kve had a drink im a little more honest. my main worry with swinging this this site is my body size. I always feel I have to re iterate my body size when messaging because of wing afraid they'll knot like me.
You'll rarely see me naked, im always im a babydoll of some sort because I'm so self conscious, 'my question is, can you be a swinger and atill be self conscious ?? "
Yes of course. I wouldn't worry too much. You possess the bits men crave do you not. Your quite cute and babydolls are bloody sexy anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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See plenty of ordinary people here.. Not everyone is a stunner.. You don't have to be.
Be yourself, be happy.. And stop looking for permission to be here.
You're you, just you.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm a big girl, I have found most men are not put off, be happy in the skin you are in!!
I love getting naked and seeing a man get excited by me!
If a man can't handle my curves, I'm not worried! There's plenty that can!!
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Before joining fab i had been celibate for over a decade. Partly thanks to my ex who criticised every inch of my post baby body. I was a size 12 with a few stretch marks and i had a section.
I am now a size 16-18 and more confident than i ever was with him!
I'm brutally honest with potential meets especially those I think haven't read the profile properly - sorts the wheat from the chaff!
Not saying I wouldn't like to magically lose weight and tone up and lose the stretch marks as that would at least make shopping for clothes a bit easier! But having also experienced poor health in recent years I'm more appreciative of what my body does.
Plus nobody's perfect! Kate moss and keira knightly have no tits eg as a bit woman that is not sexy.
Also, I remember reading an inter_iew with Kelly brook years ago on the subject. She made an interesting point. Women's mags may be full of skinny models but they're influenced by the fashion industry, which is full of gay men who are of course attracted to more boyish figures, lads mags (not meaning porn) have women with hips, boobs and usually a bit of belly too. Publishers aren't stupid they know what sells and men prefer generally more obviously womanly figures. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks everyone for the lovely comments. I'd had a little bit to drink and im always more open/ honest when I have !!
I'm much more confident than I used to be and ive been to a club before, wore a babydoll and fishnets and I felt good. as you all probably know, some days I feel great , others not so much. I love outfits and lingerie and on my last meet i was devastated when he made me take it off! I felt .. Vulnerable I guess that he could see me and my body and flaws.
Again, thanks to all of you for the kind words and encouragement
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"I'm by no means a small girl. My photos are obviously my very best ones and I also feel I have to point out to people that I'm nearly thirteen stone, stretch marked and scarred.
What's surprised me about swinging is how little these things seem to bother other people. I guarantee you that your supposed flaws bother you 100 times more than they would anyone else, that's if they even notice them at all.
As a lifelong self-loather, it's done a great deal for my self esteem.
But as you say, a down day, a few drinks, or anything else can affect they way we see ourselves and make us look inward and self analyse.
Incidentally, I think you're beautiful.
Cleo.
xxxx
I agree, I get quite a few messages from men asking why I'm so negative about my body. I can't help what I see in a mirror though. But it hasn't stopped me meeting some very sexy men & having a great time. My confidence is slowly rising.
I don't think any woman is truly ever happy with her body. "
I've yet to meet a woman is IS happy with her body... If I do - then I'll know she is a liar...
Women only see the worst in their figure - we men tend to only see the best. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks everyone for the lovely comments. I'd had a little bit to drink and im always more open/ honest when I have !!
I'm much more confident than I used to be and ive been to a club before, wore a babydoll and fishnets and I felt good. as you all probably know, some days I feel great , others not so much. I love outfits and lingerie and on my last meet i was devastated when he made me take it off! I felt .. Vulnerable I guess that he could see me and my body and flaws.
Again, thanks to all of you for the kind words and encouragement
"
Your welcome sexy and I feel your pain. |
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Women only see the worst in their figure - we men tend to only see the best.
I disagree especially us older players, men have their insecurities too. I've yet to meet someone completely happy with themselves and I dated models back in the day (most insecure people ever!) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes to the OP question, I am also that person.
In fact I often feel sorry for the guys I meet. Because of my insecurities they have to work twice as hard before I agreee to meet them. And it really is a gennuine case of its not you its me. I am torn because I am soooo bloody naughty and horny and then I am all 'but I am a BBW and you wont want me'.
 |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
"Hi all,
I always find when kve had a drink im a little more honest. my main worry with swinging this this site is my body size. I always feel I have to re iterate my body size when messaging because of wing afraid they'll knot like me.
You'll rarely see me naked, im always im a babydoll of some sort because I'm so self conscious, 'my question is, can you be a swinger and atill be self conscious ?? "
I point out in advance I am podgy. I get lots of compliments on my figure from my photos but have full length nude shots for friends only just so they know what they're getting. And I like wearing lingerie on meets since I feel more confident in it. Once I'm in the zone I tend not to think about it though and just go with the visceral. At that point it's pretty easy to tell he's still turned on so I take a deep breath and get naked.  |
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I accept everyones hangups xxx Ive never been put off any woman because she has stretchmarks or a belly its the personality matters more but i dont make them feel self concious that they have to hide it away xxx I hate my bum because of my birthmark but others havent even mentioned it so it doesnt stop me being naked with others and having fun together xxx. |
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I'm a BBW, with a disability, an above knee amputation and other health issues and heavily tattooed, they can see for themselves from my photos my size, and my written profile states it all, so if they've been silly enough not to read it more fool them |
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"I'm a BBW, with a disability, an above knee amputation and other health issues and heavily tattooed, they can see for themselves from my photos my size, and my written profile states it all, so if they've been silly enough not to read it more fool them "
Well to me from your pics and profile you look great and fully capable of having a sex life like the rest of us, like you say more fool them for not reading your profile properly xxx And if they dont want to meet you because of it then its there loss too xxx |
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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago
Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you) |
I am very happy in my skin and happy to get naked and play - rolls of fat and wobbly bits everywhere but I know that I am not your typical swinger. We have met many women and I am one of few who will bounce around completely naked at parties and meets. I agree with other posters who have said that most women judge themselves harshly and other women and definitely men are happy to see someone enjoying themselves and couldn't care less about stretch marks, cellulite and fat - I have never had a negative comment
That being said I do accept that for others it may be more difficult and love to see people playing regardless of if they wear just their skin or a play outfit - it's sexy either way and all good fun |
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"I'm a BBW, with a disability, an above knee amputation and other health issues and heavily tattooed, they can see for themselves from my photos my size, and my written profile states it all, so if they've been silly enough not to read it more fool them "
Fantastic attitude.
I dated a guy who used a wheelchair and have a friend with cp who swings. Everyone deserves a satisfying sex life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" 'my question is, can you be a swinger and atill be self conscious ?? "
of course you can, like you I never get naked I dislike my body but i love sex and my love for sex over rides my feelings towards my body so I just stay covered when I fuck |
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