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too hot for babies
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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My post isn't swinging related but I need some advice from parents on the site .
On dropping of my little boy at school this morning , I came across another parent doing the same . She has a baby and from the day it has been born ,its been wrapped up . This morning the baby had a duffel coat , hat and cover . Its already 20 degrees and getting hotter . I am worried sick over the baby having convulsions and not sure if I should have a word with the school or not . Surely this is neglect, and I am not sure what to do next if I am honest . I feel I should do something very soon . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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She managed to bring the other one up OK. He survived to school age, it could be she has just put a coat over a babygrow. She wasn't wearing her pj's was she? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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To be honest I think the woman is struggling . She is a African woman and after speaking to a few mothers . I have found out that the baby is supposed to be sick .Babies ,the elderly and people that are ill are very vulnerable in the intense heat.
A child also can not regulate is own body temperature. It is dressed for a winters day . Not sure what you meant about pajamas but hopefully some mothers may be able to give me some more constructive advice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do know about babies. I have had them! But as I said, are you sure the baby is wrapped up excessively? It might be just more convenient for her to pop a coat on the baby, rather than an actual outfit. No doubt she is busy getting the school aged kid ready for school to worry about dressing the baby up.
And the weather isn't that warm yet in the shade at 9 am. Does the baby sound distressed. Talk to her first, casually, find out what you can.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
Why don't you speak to the mother instead of everyone else in the playground
If the baby is very young then it will be having regular health visit checks
If it's ill as it's been suggested then it will be under a gp too
I'm so glad my kids are out of school age and I don't have to listen to the school gate gossip machine
If she is struggling as it's also been mentioned then maybe support would be better than reporting to the school for neglect
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why don't you speak to the mother instead of everyone else in the playground
If the baby is very young then it will be having regular health visit checks
If it's ill as it's been suggested then it will be under a gp too
I'm so glad my kids are out of school age and I don't have to listen to the school gate gossip machine
If she is struggling as it's also been mentioned then maybe support would be better than reporting to the school for neglect
"
This isn't school gossip but genuine concern . The last time some one tried to talk to her over one of her children . It became violent . On the baby illness ,its a cold apparently. The baby is always asleep and i have never seen her awake cone to think of it . On picking my son up today I will actually speak to her ,even if she does become angry and aggressive.
I don't want to report her but I am worried sick about the child over heating . I lost a son to cot death twenty years ago . When it comes to babies I suppose I might worry unnecessarily .
Sorry for my spelling mistakes and bad grammar there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Speaking to her is the best thing to do. As another mother in a playground, its only natural to ask about someone else's baby that they have with then. Just play it carefully and see what you can glean from her. If your concerns seem justified, report it by all means, just make sure its to the health authority and not the police. The health visitor, if she has one, can increase the visits, without the woman knowing that you have raised concerns. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I do know about babies. I have had them! But as I said, are you sure the baby is wrapped up excessively? It might be just more convenient for her to pop a coat on the baby, rather than an actual outfit. No doubt she is busy getting the school aged kid ready for school to worry about dressing the baby up.
And the weather isn't that warm yet in the shade at 9 am. Does the baby sound distressed. Talk to her first, casually, find out what you can.
"
The weather was actually 21 degrees at half 8 this morning . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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". She has a baby and from the day it has been born ,its been wrapped up "
How do you know its been wrapped up since the day it was born ? What you really mean is any time you have seen the kid it has been wrapped up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do know about babies. I have had them! But as I said, are you sure the baby is wrapped up excessively? It might be just more convenient for her to pop a coat on the baby, rather than an actual outfit. No doubt she is busy getting the school aged kid ready for school to worry about dressing the baby up.
And the weather isn't that warm yet in the shade at 9 am. Does the baby sound distressed. Talk to her first, casually, find out what you can.
The weather was actually 21 degrees at half 8 this morning . "
That's hardly heatwave levels though. I had my coat on in the car! She may well have been a told to make sure the babies warm. How old is the baby do you reckon? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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". She has a baby and from the day it has been born ,its been wrapped up
How do you know its been wrapped up since the day it was born ? What you really mean is any time you have seen the kid it has been wrapped up."
The baby was born last summer and I have always noticed her with hats ,gloves ect . The older children have thick winter coats on also but I suppose they can take them off when hot .
Sometimes people from hotter climates find england cold even in a,heat wave . My dad is Jamaican and lives in London , he will probably be waring a,bubble coat in the heat . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I do know about babies. I have had them! But as I said, are you sure the baby is wrapped up excessively? It might be just more convenient for her to pop a coat on the baby, rather than an actual outfit. No doubt she is busy getting the school aged kid ready for school to worry about dressing the baby up.
And the weather isn't that warm yet in the shade at 9 am. Does the baby sound distressed. Talk to her first, casually, find out what you can.
The weather was actually 21 degrees at half 8 this morning .
That's hardly heatwave levels though. I had my coat on in the car! She may well have been a told to make sure the babies warm. How old is the baby do you reckon?"
True its not boiling yet but will be around home time . The baby is nearly one |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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". She has a baby and from the day it has been born ,its been wrapped up
How do you know its been wrapped up since the day it was born ? What you really mean is any time you have seen the kid it has been wrapped up.
The baby was born last summer and I have always noticed her with hats ,gloves ect . The older children have thick winter coats on also but I suppose they can take them off when hot .
Sometimes people from hotter climates find england cold even in a,heat wave . My dad is Jamaican and lives in London , he will probably be waring a,bubble coat in the heat . "
That's very true, and it also applies to the elderly and very young. Babies though, as you point out, do depend on someone else's judgement. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do know about babies. I have had them! But as I said, are you sure the baby is wrapped up excessively? It might be just more convenient for her to pop a coat on the baby, rather than an actual outfit. No doubt she is busy getting the school aged kid ready for school to worry about dressing the baby up.
And the weather isn't that warm yet in the shade at 9 am. Does the baby sound distressed. Talk to her first, casually, find out what you can.
The weather was actually 21 degrees at half 8 this morning .
That's hardly heatwave levels though. I had my coat on in the car! She may well have been a told to make sure the babies warm. How old is the baby do you reckon?
True its not boiling yet but will be around home time . The baby is nearly one "
Tell her the old saying "never cast a clout, till May is out". Then point out its almost July! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Could there be a medical reason for the baby being "wrapped up" that you and the other parents don't know about?? And I don't mean a cold. Some medical conditions make even the tiniest bit of sun exposure dangerous etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What do people wear in the desert? Maybe in a way she knows more than you? Maybe not. Like a hot drink in the heat will cool you down more than a cold one. Who knows, just try to ask |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What do people wear in the desert? Maybe in a way she knows more than you? Maybe not. Like a hot drink in the heat will cool you down more than a cold one. Who knows, just try to ask"
That's what I am going to do ,to put my mind at rest . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Speak to local health visitor explain your concern and if health visitor is concerned she will contact parent "
I will try and speak to the mum first |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Could there be a medical reason for the baby being "wrapped up" that you and the other parents don't know about?? And I don't mean a cold. Some medical conditions make even the tiniest bit of sun exposure dangerous etc "
I understand that so by asking her ,she might be able to explain. I don't want her thinking I am judging her so will have to tread carefully I think . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We were in Salou in April there and it was about 23-25 degrees we thought great, shorts and t shorts all day but the guys selling hats, bags and sunglasses had big jackets and wooly hats on so that might suggest one persons sunny weather is another's winter lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My post isn't swinging related but I need some advice from parents on the site .
On dropping of my little boy at school this morning , I came across another parent doing the same . She has a baby and from the day it has been born ,its been wrapped up . This morning the baby had a duffel coat , hat and cover . Its already 20 degrees and getting hotter . I am worried sick over the baby having convulsions and not sure if I should have a word with the school or not . Surely this is neglect, and I am not sure what to do next if I am honest . I feel I should do something very soon . "
Have you tried speaking to her?
Going straight to the school seems excessive |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My post isn't swinging related but I need some advice from parents on the site .
On dropping of my little boy at school this morning , I came across another parent doing the same . She has a baby and from the day it has been born ,its been wrapped up . This morning the baby had a duffel coat , hat and cover . Its already 20 degrees and getting hotter . I am worried sick over the baby having convulsions and not sure if I should have a word with the school or not . Surely this is neglect, and I am not sure what to do next if I am honest . I feel I should do something very soon . "
Probably not what you want to hear but unless there's evidence of serious foul play you should (in my opinion) keep your nose out.
Seems to me you've spoke to everyone, you're willing for things to get violent, and now your gassing on about it on a forum.
You might think it's Armageddon outside but it's about 20 degrees hotter here in the summer and I see newborns every single day dressed in coats, hats, gloves - the full works.
People from different backgrounds have different views and believe it or not, babies are pretty damn good and letting you know when they're not comfortable  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My post isn't swinging related but I need some advice from parents on the site .
On dropping of my little boy at school this morning , I came across another parent doing the same . She has a baby and from the day it has been born ,its been wrapped up . This morning the baby had a duffel coat , hat and cover . Its already 20 degrees and getting hotter . I am worried sick over the baby having convulsions and not sure if I should have a word with the school or not . Surely this is neglect, and I am not sure what to do next if I am honest . I feel I should do something very soon .
Probably not what you want to hear but unless there's evidence of serious foul play you should (in my opinion) keep your nose out.
Seems to me you've spoke to everyone, you're willing for things to get violent, and now your gassing on about it on a forum.
You might think it's Armageddon outside but it's about 20 degrees hotter here in the summer and I see newborns every single day dressed in coats, hats, gloves - the full works.
People from different backgrounds have different views and believe it or not, babies are pretty damn good and letting you know when they're not comfortable "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for everybody genuine advice .
On picking my son up today , I came across the mum , our kids teacher and another African lady . The teacher was very calmly telling the mother that it isn't safe for baby to be so wrapped up . The mum was very upset and proceeded to undress baby of coat ,hat ,blanket and thick tights . As this was happening the teacher took her back into the class room . The baby isn't ill and only has a cold , the mum also said in Africa its very hot so does not bother her in England , the kids teacher had to remind her that baby was born here . To all you that think I am a nosey parker or a gossip ,it isn't so . I had genuine concerns and just wanted advice . I am glad it was brought up but not glad mum was so distraught. It seems though it wasn't just me worried . I am going to make a effort in speaking to her more to see if she is ok and get my mum to see how she is when at church.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My post isn't swinging related but I need some advice from parents on the site .
On dropping of my little boy at school this morning , I came across another parent doing the same . She has a baby and from the day it has been born ,its been wrapped up . This morning the baby had a duffel coat , hat and cover . Its already 20 degrees and getting hotter . I am worried sick over the baby having convulsions and not sure if I should have a word with the school or not . Surely this is neglect, and I am not sure what to do next if I am honest . I feel I should do something very soon .
Have you tried speaking to her?
Going straight to the school seems excessive"
I decided not to go to the school but to talk to the mum myself. After suffering a personal loss twenty years ago I become very anxious about babies .
In the end I didn't speak to her because a teacher had a word and she became very upset but did strip baby . Lesson learnt from today . Don't ask advice in the forums if its going to paint me as a nosey bitch and a school gossip . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you have concerns for a child's immediate safety you should report to the relevant authorities which are the police or duty social worker. The safety of the child should be paramount. Only you know whether this is the appropriate action to take. The advice of people on the internet will differ. You have seen the child we have not. Your choice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My post isn't swinging related but I need some advice from parents on the site .
On dropping of my little boy at school this morning , I came across another parent doing the same . She has a baby and from the day it has been born ,its been wrapped up . This morning the baby had a duffel coat , hat and cover . Its already 20 degrees and getting hotter . I am worried sick over the baby having convulsions and not sure if I should have a word with the school or not . Surely this is neglect, and I am not sure what to do next if I am honest . I feel I should do something very soon .
Have you tried speaking to her?
Going straight to the school seems excessive
I decided not to go to the school but to talk to the mum myself. After suffering a personal loss twenty years ago I become very anxious about babies .
In the end I didn't speak to her because a teacher had a word and she became very upset but did strip baby . Lesson learnt from today . Don't ask advice in the forums if its going to paint me as a nosey bitch and a school gossip . "
No harm in asking advice. If some people don't like it, tough shit. I understand why you were worried. Glad it worked out ok. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont know if this is the case in this situation but i have worked in some very countries.
From what i have seen babies have wrapped up to protect them from the sun.
We in Britain as soon as the sun is out strip off.
However people in hit countries always wear loose clothing and keep themselves covered up.
It might just be a cultural thing  |
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By *iggy1Woman
over a year ago
DORCHESTER |
Oh the joy of the playground!! so glad I don't have to endure that any more and that cult, better known as the PTA!
Play nice children, it was dam hot today and nobody needed to wear a coat young or old.
I once knew a lady who's health visitor told her to give her baby a little orange juice to help with constipation.. A can of tango later!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why don't you speak to the mother instead of everyone else in the playground
If the baby is very young then it will be having regular health visit checks
If it's ill as it's been suggested then it will be under a gp too
I'm so glad my kids are out of school age and I don't have to listen to the school gate gossip machine
If she is struggling as it's also been mentioned then maybe support would be better than reporting to the school for neglect
"
this this this
The baby would be under a health visitor, who would also be making home visits if she wasn't freely attending the regular check ups. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's a tricky one ~ damned if you do, damned if you don't.
I have a Russian friend who at the sniff of autumn would dress her kids for the middle of winter so I do believe the cultural thing plays a big part.
Glad it's all worked out in the end. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why don't you speak to the mother instead of everyone else in the playground
If the baby is very young then it will be having regular health visit checks
If it's ill as it's been suggested then it will be under a gp too
I'm so glad my kids are out of school age and I don't have to listen to the school gate gossip machine
If she is struggling as it's also been mentioned then maybe support would be better than reporting to the school for neglect
this this this
The baby would be under a health visitor, who would also be making home visits if she wasn't freely attending the regular check ups."
Ha do me a favour HVs don't have time for home visits and rarely check up on you if you haven't been to see them, it's not compulsory to get your child weighed after their six week check and health visitors are so snowed under they don't have the ability to check on each mother, even in the relatively small town I live in this doesn't happen |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be honest I think the woman is struggling . She is a African woman and after speaking to a few mothers . I have found out that the baby is supposed to be sick .Babies ,the elderly and people that are ill are very vulnerable in the intense heat.
A child also can not regulate is own body temperature. It is dressed for a winters day . Not sure what you meant about pajamas but hopefully some mothers may be able to give me some more constructive advice "
Okay from someone who grew up in Africa this is quite normal. Most African women would wrap their babies up in a blanket and then with another blanket tie the baby to their back. I think the idea is a hot baby will sleep leaving them to get on with work.
Believe me it was often a lot hotter than it has been today.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why don't you speak to the mother instead of everyone else in the playground
If the baby is very young then it will be having regular health visit checks
If it's ill as it's been suggested then it will be under a gp too
I'm so glad my kids are out of school age and I don't have to listen to the school gate gossip machine
If she is struggling as it's also been mentioned then maybe support would be better than reporting to the school for neglect
this this this
The baby would be under a health visitor, who would also be making home visits if she wasn't freely attending the regular check ups."
Health Visitor provision varies from area to area. This can mean a baby may be seen at 4-6 weeks and then not necessarily until they are 8 months if there are no concerns. That is how things can go undetected. The OP was concerned. She asked for advice which in any civilised society most people would do. For her to he called a busy body is just pathetic. At least the OP just didn't do nothing which when the welfare of children is concerned should never be an option. |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
firstly i am very sorry for your loss...
second, if the mum was distraught i guess shes just trying to be a good mum , maybe in a country she doesnt really feel very comfortable in yet..
be kind, be friendly, be gentle
everyone has a story and until we know it, we dont know anything xx
im glad it was taken from your hands and someone else raised concerns, now you are free to be welcoming and accepting and maybe a friend in a lonely place..most people hate the playground..all that pressure...performance, expectation...most people close down..i go around just being relaxed and myself..cos i know after four kids that can make all the difference in one parents world.x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why don't you speak to the mother instead of everyone else in the playground
If the baby is very young then it will be having regular health visit checks
If it's ill as it's been suggested then it will be under a gp too
I'm so glad my kids are out of school age and I don't have to listen to the school gate gossip machine
If she is struggling as it's also been mentioned then maybe support would be better than reporting to the school for neglect
this this this
The baby would be under a health visitor, who would also be making home visits if she wasn't freely attending the regular check ups.
Health Visitor provision varies from area to area. This can mean a baby may be seen at 4-6 weeks and then not necessarily until they are 8 months if there are no concerns. That is how things can go undetected.
The OP was concerned. She asked for advice which in any civilised society most people would do. For her to he called a busy body is just pathetic.
At least the OP just didn't do nothing which when the welfare of children is concerned should never be an option."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My post isn't swinging related but I need some advice from parents on the site .
On dropping of my little boy at school this morning , I came across another parent doing the same . She has a baby and from the day it has been born ,its been wrapped up . This morning the baby had a duffel coat , hat and cover . Its already 20 degrees and getting hotter . I am worried sick over the baby having convulsions and not sure if I should have a word with the school or not . Surely this is neglect, and I am not sure what to do next if I am honest . I feel I should do something very soon .
Have you tried speaking to her?
Going straight to the school seems excessive
I decided not to go to the school but to talk to the mum myself. After suffering a personal loss twenty years ago I become very anxious about babies .
In the end I didn't speak to her because a teacher had a word and she became very upset but did strip baby . Lesson learnt from today . Don't ask advice in the forums if its going to paint me as a nosey bitch and a school gossip .
No harm in asking advice. If some people don't like it, tough shit. I understand why you were worried. Glad it worked out ok. x"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't complicate your concerns or alarm bells.
You are worried about welfare of a child. Your concerns may be wrong but why take a risk? If in doubt report it and have trust in the system, not everything is a daily mail child protection case.
If you approach the parent then it could lead to conflict and is definitely contrary to the school advice, which is tell them or raise a safeguarding alert anonymously If you don't want anybody to know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks for everybody genuine advice .
On picking my son up today , I came across the mum , our kids teacher and another African lady . The teacher was very calmly telling the mother that it isn't safe for baby to be so wrapped up . The mum was very upset and proceeded to undress baby of coat ,hat ,blanket and thick tights . As this was happening the teacher took her back into the class room . The baby isn't ill and only has a cold , the mum also said in Africa its very hot so does not bother her in England , the kids teacher had to remind her that baby was born here . To all you that think I am a nosey parker or a gossip ,it isn't so . I had genuine concerns and just wanted advice . I am glad it was brought up but not glad mum was so distraught. It seems though it wasn't just me worried . I am going to make a effort in speaking to her more to see if she is ok and get my mum to see how she is when at church.
"
That's a good idea, she sounds like she might be a bit isolated. A few people at church who go out of their way to talk to her and actually befriend her, would probably go a long way to easing her hostilities, to what she possibly percieves as people pointing out what she is doing wrong. Advice always sounds better from a friend. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But you are a nosey Parker and a gossip. 
How very mature of you!
It was banter, but you dived in to what did not concern you, how very rude of you  "
It did concern me. It's a public forum. Many a sly dig disguised as banter. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Report it to the teacher or the school office. If you don't and something happens, you will never forgive yourself. The authorities will support her, as will the school. "
Its all in hand now with the teacher having a word . I was right to be concerned but wrong to want to report her with out nothing the full picture |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But you are a nosey Parker and a gossip.
How very mature of you!
It was banter, but you dived in to what did not concern you, how very rude of you
It did concern me. It's a public forum. Many a sly dig disguised as banter. "
So its a sly dig now , Chief Inspector ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Don't complicate your concerns or alarm bells.
You are worried about welfare of a child. Your concerns may be wrong but why take a risk? If in doubt report it and have trust in the system, not everything is a daily mail child protection case.
If you approach the parent then it could lead to conflict and is definitely contrary to the school advice, which is tell them or raise a safeguarding alert anonymously If you don't want anybody to know."
As the teacher has had words her self I know that I wasn't the only one worried . To be honest I was glad it wasn't me who had to . With out knowing all the facts It wouldn't of been right for me to report her . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thanks for everybody genuine advice .
On picking my son up today , I came across the mum , our kids teacher and another African lady . The teacher was very calmly telling the mother that it isn't safe for baby to be so wrapped up . The mum was very upset and proceeded to undress baby of coat ,hat ,blanket and thick tights . As this was happening the teacher took her back into the class room . The baby isn't ill and only has a cold , the mum also said in Africa its very hot so does not bother her in England , the kids teacher had to remind her that baby was born here . To all you that think I am a nosey parker or a gossip ,it isn't so . I had genuine concerns and just wanted advice . I am glad it was brought up but not glad mum was so distraught. It seems though it wasn't just me worried . I am going to make a effort in speaking to her more to see if she is ok and get my mum to see how she is when at church.
That's a good idea, she sounds like she might be a bit isolated. A few people at church who go out of their way to talk to her and actually befriend her, would probably go a long way to easing her hostilities, to what she possibly perceives as people pointing out what she is doing wrong. Advice always sounds better from a friend."
That is so true .
She is a single mum , with three kids to look after in a country which she isn't from. I can relate to the single mum part so knows how hard it can be .
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"firstly i am very sorry for your loss...
second, if the mum was distraught i guess shes just trying to be a good mum , maybe in a country she doesnt really feel very comfortable in yet..
be kind, be friendly, be gentle
everyone has a story and until we know it, we dont know anything xx
im glad it was taken from your hands and someone else raised concerns, now you are free to be welcoming and accepting and maybe a friend in a lonely place..most people hate the playground..all that pressure...performance, expectation...most people close down..i go around just being relaxed and myself..cos i know after four kids that can make all the difference in one parents world.x"
Since seeing her this afternoon so distraught , she hasn't left my thoughts so I will try my best to be friendly tomorrow morning with out being to full on . I do feel terrible even thinking of reporting her . It was a knee jerk reaction . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My post isn't swinging related but I need some advice from parents on the site .
On dropping of my little boy at school this morning , I came across another parent doing the same . She has a baby and from the day it has been born ,its been wrapped up . This morning the baby had a duffel coat , hat and cover . Its already 20 degrees and getting hotter . I am worried sick over the baby having convulsions and not sure if I should have a word with the school or not . Surely this is neglect, and I am not sure what to do next if I am honest . I feel I should do something very soon .
Probably not what you want to hear but unless there's evidence of serious foul play you should (in my opinion) keep your nose out.
Seems to me you've spoke to everyone, you're willing for things to get violent, and now your gassing on about it on a forum.
You might think it's Armageddon outside but it's about 20 degrees hotter here in the summer and I see newborns every single day dressed in coats, hats, gloves - the full works.
People from different backgrounds have different views and believe it or not, babies are pretty damn good and letting you know when they're not comfortable "
Took the words right out of my mouth |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks for everybody genuine advice .
On picking my son up today , I came across the mum , our kids teacher and another African lady . The teacher was very calmly telling the mother that it isn't safe for baby to be so wrapped up . The mum was very upset and proceeded to undress baby of coat ,hat ,blanket and thick tights . As this was happening the teacher took her back into the class room . The baby isn't ill and only has a cold , the mum also said in Africa its very hot so does not bother her in England , the kids teacher had to remind her that baby was born here . To all you that think I am a nosey parker or a gossip ,it isn't so . I had genuine concerns and just wanted advice . I am glad it was brought up but not glad mum was so distraught. It seems though it wasn't just me worried . I am going to make a effort in speaking to her more to see if she is ok and get my mum to see how she is when at church.
That's a good idea, she sounds like she might be a bit isolated. A few people at church who go out of their way to talk to her and actually befriend her, would probably go a long way to easing her hostilities, to what she possibly percieves as people pointing out what she is doing wrong. Advice always sounds better from a friend."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My post isn't swinging related but I need some advice from parents on the site .
On dropping of my little boy at school this morning , I came across another parent doing the same . She has a baby and from the day it has been born ,its been wrapped up . This morning the baby had a duffel coat , hat and cover . Its already 20 degrees and getting hotter . I am worried sick over the baby having convulsions and not sure if I should have a word with the school or not . Surely this is neglect, and I am not sure what to do next if I am honest . I feel I should do something very soon .
Have you tried speaking to her?
Going straight to the school seems excessive
I decided not to go to the school but to talk to the mum myself. After suffering a personal loss twenty years ago I become very anxious about babies .
In the end I didn't speak to her because a teacher had a word and she became very upset but did strip baby . Lesson learnt from today . Don't ask advice in the forums if its going to paint me as a nosey bitch and a school gossip . "
I understand your concern, but making knee jerk decisions re: someone else's life based on our own experiences can make things worse. If there's no immediate danger, it's good to take a step back and look at all the options clearly. Befriending and empathy go a long, long way |
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It often takes a person over 6 months to report any concerns they have over the welfare of a child
If those concerns are unfounded, no harm done
But when those concerns are valid.... That's over 6 months a child has endured something they shouldn't
Everyone has a responsibility to safeguard our children and reporting concerns isn't being a busy body, it means that someone in child services can look into what's happening with that child
The circumstances in which a child will have to be removed from a home have a much higher threshold than most people realise and really is a last resort
People should be encouraged to report more of what they see regards a child's welfare, not less |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
People should be encouraged to report more of what they see regards a child's welfare, not less "
Report...
How about friendship and communication?
If someone's that concerned about a child - why not offer to help in some way, before passing passing the buck to an overworked employee of the 'care' system? They have a huge workload.
If someone really believes a child is in immediate danger-call the police...?
If someone has time to call social services - they've also time to intervene and offer help themselves
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
People should be encouraged to report more of what they see regards a child's welfare, not less
Report...
How about friendship and communication?
If someone's that concerned about a child - why not offer to help in some way, before passing passing the buck to an overworked employee of the 'care' system? They have a huge workload.
If someone really believes a child is in immediate danger-call the police...?
If someone has time to call social services - they've also time to intervene and offer help themselves
"
I can't understand your logic. If a child is in immediate danger the only authorities that have the power to intervene are the police and duty social worker. Nobody else. Please don't put a child's life at risk by thinking that you alone can 'save' them. Even professionals have teams of people behind them. The one change to safeguarding children that came out of the Victoria Climbe serious case review was the way that professionals were supervised.The general public has a responsibility to report to the relevant authorities if them think a child is at risk. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have been on the receiving end of judgemental glares and snide comments since my middle child was born with a serious bleeding disorder 8 years ago, as he is constantly covered in very large, dark bruises, and has sported a few black eyes etc. People can be very ignorant, wrapped up in their own little bubble jumping to the wrong conclusions and often causing a lot of stress and upset for people who are already in a very difficult situation. It's a shame people don't stop and think before wading in to situations they have absolutely no knowledge about. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
People should be encouraged to report more of what they see regards a child's welfare, not less
Report...
How about friendship and communication?
If someone's that concerned about a child - why not offer to help in some way, before passing passing the buck to an overworked employee of the 'care' system? They have a huge workload.
If someone really believes a child is in immediate danger-call the police...?
If someone has time to call social services - they've also time to intervene and offer help themselves
I can't understand your logic. If a child is in immediate danger the only authorities that have the power to intervene are the police and duty social worker. Nobody else. Please don't put a child's life at risk by thinking that you alone can 'save' them. Even professionals have teams of people behind them. The one change to safeguarding children that came out of the Victoria Climbe serious case review was the way that professionals were supervised.The general public has a responsibility to report to the relevant authorities if them think a child is at risk. "
The logic is - if you think a child is in immediate danger - call the police like I said above?
Social services can take a while to visit/prepare cases - if the child's at risk, won't the child still be at risk in the meantime? Yes, they will. So, offer help in the meantime surely? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have been on the receiving end of judgemental glares and snide comments since my middle child was born with a serious bleeding disorder 8 years ago, as he is constantly covered in very large, dark bruises, and has sported a few black eyes etc. People can be very ignorant, wrapped up in their own little bubble jumping to the wrong conclusions and often causing a lot of stress and upset for people who are already in a very difficult situation. It's a shame people don't stop and think before wading in to situations they have absolutely no knowledge about."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have been on the receiving end of judgemental glares and snide comments since my middle child was born with a serious bleeding disorder 8 years ago, as he is constantly covered in very large, dark bruises, and has sported a few black eyes etc. People can be very ignorant, wrapped up in their own little bubble jumping to the wrong conclusions and often causing a lot of stress and upset for people who are already in a very difficult situation. It's a shame people don't stop and think before wading in to situations they have absolutely no knowledge about."
Whilst I can totally sympathise with your situation and people are judgemental If you saw a child covered in bruises what would your reaction be? Do nothing? Walk away? I hope not! You would challenge why that child has bruises diplomatically. In your case there are underlying health issues and that will be well documented in your notes. However to walk away and do nothing is not an option. If I upset you by asking why your child is covered in bruises I'd take that option any day over the alternative which could be the abuse or death of a child. At the end of the day it's the welfare of the child that counts.
Labelling people busy bodies for showing genuine concerns for a child is counter productive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have been on the receiving end of judgemental glares and snide comments since my middle child was born with a serious bleeding disorder 8 years ago, as he is constantly covered in very large, dark bruises, and has sported a few black eyes etc. People can be very ignorant, wrapped up in their own little bubble jumping to the wrong conclusions and often causing a lot of stress and upset for people who are already in a very difficult situation. It's a shame people don't stop and think before wading in to situations they have absolutely no knowledge about."
Very true. But if a child was covered in bruises all the time I think it would be pretty shit if people didn't say anything. Fair enough if people know the truth. But if they don't know... and said nothing........ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have been on the receiving end of judgemental glares and snide comments since my middle child was born with a serious bleeding disorder 8 years ago, as he is constantly covered in very large, dark bruises, and has sported a few black eyes etc. People can be very ignorant, wrapped up in their own little bubble jumping to the wrong conclusions and often causing a lot of stress and upset for people who are already in a very difficult situation. It's a shame people don't stop and think before wading in to situations they have absolutely no knowledge about.
Very true. But if a child was covered in bruises all the time I think it would be pretty shit if people didn't say anything. Fair enough if people know the truth. But if they don't know... and said nothing........ "
It is pretty shit that my child gets stared at and talked about by what are meant to be grown adults. By all means, if they have a concern, please ask. But don't judge and assume |
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"
People should be encouraged to report more of what they see regards a child's welfare, not less
Report...
How about friendship and communication?
If someone's that concerned about a child - why not offer to help in some way, before passing passing the buck to an overworked employee of the 'care' system? They have a huge workload.
If someone really believes a child is in immediate danger-call the police...?
If someone has time to call social services - they've also time to intervene and offer help themselves
"
There is more help out there for families and children other than the care system!
Yes, by all means build better, stronger communities to help struggling and vulnerable families, but the simple fact is that we no longer live in that world
early help for families is there, and often, by reporting your concerns to any professional body, school, health, police 101, social care etc, that help can be offered and make changes to that childs life so that the care system is never an option
The more early help intervention, the better outcomes for the child - fact |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
People should be encouraged to report more of what they see regards a child's welfare, not less
Report...
How about friendship and communication?
If someone's that concerned about a child - why not offer to help in some way, before passing passing the buck to an overworked employee of the 'care' system? They have a huge workload.
If someone really believes a child is in immediate danger-call the police...?
If someone has time to call social services - they've also time to intervene and offer help themselves
There is more help out there for families and children other than the care system!
Yes, by all means build better, stronger communities to help struggling and vulnerable families, but the simple fact is that we no longer live in that world
early help for families is there, and often, by reporting your concerns to any professional body, school, health, police 101, social care etc, that help can be offered and make changes to that childs life so that the care system is never an option
The more early help intervention, the better outcomes for the child - fact "
I agree the 'care' system should only be used as a last resort. Early intervention can take the form of just being friendly too, getting a fuller picture of what a situations about - far too many people see 'something' and call social services straightaway - or sometimes after gossiping about it first. That's just spiteful |
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"
far too many people see 'something' and call social services straightaway - or sometimes after gossiping about it first. That's just spiteful"
No, as I've already posted, the majority of people don't share their concerns with any one regarding a child for at least 6 months
The actual amount of malicious reports regarding children is a tiny tiny amount and the majority will get closed down after agency checks show this
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
far too many people see 'something' and call social services straightaway - or sometimes after gossiping about it first. That's just spiteful
No, as I've already posted, the majority of people don't share their concerns with any one regarding a child for at least 6 months
The actual amount of malicious reports regarding children is a tiny tiny amount and the majority will get closed down after agency checks show this
"
Six months though...they did NOTHING for six months? How concerned or worried were they that they think six months is an acceptable time to mull things over?
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"
far too many people see 'something' and call social services straightaway - or sometimes after gossiping about it first. That's just spiteful
No, as I've already posted, the majority of people don't share their concerns with any one regarding a child for at least 6 months
The actual amount of malicious reports regarding children is a tiny tiny amount and the majority will get closed down after agency checks show this
Six months though...they did NOTHING for six months? How concerned or worried were they that they think six months is an acceptable time to mull things over?
"
Because people wait due to the very messages shown on this thread... It's not their business, someone else will do it, they don't want to children going into care and just a general lack of knowledge of how children's services are now, compared to how they used to be
A child protection issue is very different to a child in need issue, for example
The first is the immediate risk of harm
Child in need though is just that, they aren't in immediate danger of harm but their life isn't free from emotional harm or neglect
So, as I said before, encourage every one to pass on any concerns they have regards a child's welfare because very often, it can and does have a positive outcome for that child |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Where she comes from 21C is probably a winter temp. I always get freaked out when I see Brits out in shorts and t-shirts when it's 15C just because it's sunny. Or girls in tiny dresses when it's chilly at night but they still wanna look sexy (in November in Newcastle).
I have to accept that ppl have diff "thermostats" and some are less sensitive to cold/heat than others. That's just the way it is. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Seen mum and baby Leah this morning . I did ask if she was ok over yesterday . She said she ok now . Baby had bare legs ,sun hat ,little sun dress and cardigan . No sign of wolly hats ,duffel coats and blankets . I wont feel bad for worrying or having concerns over any baby or young child. Getting over heated can kill but I will stop and ask the parent why their dressed like that . Yesterday I thought the child was in immediate danger of over heating . Not a nosey parker or school gossip as stated by some on here but just a normal woman with genuine concerns . I just didn't know what to do about them ,hence asking for advice .
Thankyou you to all of you for your good advice |
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